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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,320 --> 00:00:04,840 This is little Snowball, and she's way more than just a pet to me. She's 2 00:00:05,460 --> 00:00:09,820 That's why for her health care, I trust the dedicated professionals at Thorpe 3 00:00:09,820 --> 00:00:10,820 Veterinary Clinic. 4 00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:19,160 Hi, I'm Dr. Richard Thorpe. I have over 20 years of veterinary experience. 5 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:26,140 So, you know, your pet is in good hands. 6 00:00:28,260 --> 00:00:29,480 Right, Snowball? 7 00:00:31,470 --> 00:00:32,710 No buts about it. 8 00:00:33,130 --> 00:00:36,170 All right, everybody, let's just take five. 9 00:00:38,070 --> 00:00:41,590 Sybil, why does he keep cutting? It's because of me, isn't it? No, Richard, 10 00:00:41,790 --> 00:00:43,790 you're fine, really. You're just fine. 11 00:00:45,130 --> 00:00:46,350 Well, then it must be you. 12 00:00:48,610 --> 00:00:50,990 Okay. Maybe fine is too strong a word. 13 00:00:52,310 --> 00:00:53,310 Richard. 14 00:00:53,770 --> 00:00:55,330 Darling, you were brilliant. 15 00:00:55,730 --> 00:00:56,970 Oh, Marianne. 16 00:00:58,070 --> 00:00:59,070 I stunk. 17 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:01,700 Yes, but brilliantly. 18 00:01:03,180 --> 00:01:04,280 Poor Richard. 19 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:07,080 We've done 40 takes without a lunch break. 20 00:01:07,900 --> 00:01:14,380 The snuffages are starting to look pretty damn good. Thank you for helping 21 00:01:14,380 --> 00:01:17,180 Richard out. It means so much to me. You're welcome. 22 00:01:17,540 --> 00:01:23,000 Look at the little kitty with her itty -bitty whiskers and her itty -bitty 23 00:01:23,420 --> 00:01:25,500 Hair cloth, Ms. Rahayick. 24 00:01:27,310 --> 00:01:31,010 It's so ironic that you're dating a vet because in your world, animals are right 25 00:01:31,010 --> 00:01:32,930 up there with quilted ponchos and champagne. 26 00:01:34,190 --> 00:01:37,990 Promise me that you will never tell Richard. Animals are his life. And if 27 00:01:37,990 --> 00:01:41,570 going to give this relationship an honest try, I have to trick him into 28 00:01:41,570 --> 00:01:42,570 I like them. 29 00:01:42,590 --> 00:01:43,890 Come on, you love animals. 30 00:01:44,350 --> 00:01:45,610 You wear them all the time. 31 00:01:48,090 --> 00:01:50,070 Loving one who loves you. 32 00:01:50,690 --> 00:01:52,530 And then taking that bow. 33 00:01:53,670 --> 00:01:55,430 Nice work if you can get it. 34 00:01:55,820 --> 00:02:00,960 And if you get it, won't you tell me how? 35 00:02:08,039 --> 00:02:09,039 Honey, you're home. 36 00:02:10,020 --> 00:02:11,340 Honey, you're trespassing. 37 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:15,640 Jeff, what the hell are you doing here? 38 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:19,840 Sybil, as your ex -husband and the father of your firstborn, all I'm asking 39 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,220 is a little loyalty, faith, and trust in me. 40 00:02:23,300 --> 00:02:24,320 I'm calling the cops. 41 00:02:34,030 --> 00:02:35,810 I promised you were going to tell her we're divorced. 42 00:02:36,710 --> 00:02:40,170 Sybil, honey, give me some sugar. 43 00:02:41,830 --> 00:02:43,570 Cheryl Robbins, what a big surprise. 44 00:02:44,650 --> 00:02:45,509 Come here. 45 00:02:45,510 --> 00:02:46,510 Yes, ma 'am. 46 00:02:48,910 --> 00:02:49,910 Listen, 47 00:02:51,570 --> 00:02:55,310 it's too long since we saw each other. But I was at your wedding, and there is 48 00:02:55,310 --> 00:02:58,410 no way I was going to miss your 25th wedding anniversary. 49 00:03:03,340 --> 00:03:04,340 You know, tomorrow. 50 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,520 I bet you thought I'd forget, didn't you, honey? 51 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:08,440 No, pumpkin. 52 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:10,740 You never forgot our anniversary before. 53 00:03:11,140 --> 00:03:13,180 You just celebrated it with lap dancers. 54 00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:17,500 Well, listen, I gotta finish my unpacking. 55 00:03:17,740 --> 00:03:18,960 25 years? 56 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:23,400 Nobody else in our family ever lasted that long. 57 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:29,360 Sybil, she doesn't have much longer. 58 00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:31,480 Jeff, you've been saying that for 23 years. 59 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:36,160 Now, look, I am very fond of your grandma. I'm not going to lie to her. 60 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:37,660 All right, tell her. 61 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:40,020 Did she seem a little pale to you? 62 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:43,240 Forget it. 63 00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:46,660 Sybil, honey, this is for you. 64 00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:50,720 25 panels, one for every year of your marriage. 65 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:54,420 Grandma Robbins! 66 00:03:55,940 --> 00:03:57,600 Oh, it's so beautiful. 67 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:00,500 It must have taken you months. 68 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:01,920 Six years. 69 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:07,880 difficult with my arthritis and all, but with a marriage as special as yours, I 70 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:09,240 just felt like you needed a tribute. 71 00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:10,640 You hear that, Sib? 72 00:04:10,980 --> 00:04:12,120 Arthritis. Ouch. 73 00:04:13,260 --> 00:04:16,420 Listen, some days working on this quilt was all that kept me going. 74 00:04:17,060 --> 00:04:20,480 Well, you just keep on going, Grandma Robin, because we're going to stay 75 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:21,480 forever. 76 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:24,940 You are so dead. 77 00:04:31,210 --> 00:04:34,430 Richard is taking me off to wine country for the weekend, and I have absolutely 78 00:04:34,430 --> 00:04:35,650 no idea what to wear. 79 00:04:36,530 --> 00:04:38,330 I mean, if it was vodka country. 80 00:04:41,410 --> 00:04:45,210 I always find it best when going away for a weekend with a man to start with 81 00:04:45,210 --> 00:04:46,570 diaphragm and build from there. 82 00:04:48,350 --> 00:04:50,010 And who taught you that? 83 00:04:51,510 --> 00:04:52,510 Is that Jeff? 84 00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:53,910 What is he doing there? 85 00:04:54,230 --> 00:04:56,230 We're planning our 25th wedding anniversary. 86 00:04:57,890 --> 00:04:58,890 Wow. 87 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:01,240 This is the longest blackout I've ever had. 88 00:05:04,340 --> 00:05:06,480 Marianne, relax. I have a very good explanation. 89 00:05:06,860 --> 00:05:07,900 Well, an explanation. 90 00:05:08,620 --> 00:05:10,260 Well, gotta go. 91 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:15,060 You know, you could have cooked instead of ordering out. It's like you don't 92 00:05:15,060 --> 00:05:16,540 even care about our phony marriage anymore. 93 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:21,200 It's not like that. It's exactly that. 94 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:23,680 Hi, everybody. 95 00:05:24,940 --> 00:05:27,640 How's the guest room, Grandma Robbins? Are you comfortable? 96 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:31,500 it's very nice. And I love the fountain you put in the bathroom. 97 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:33,680 Fountain? 98 00:05:37,700 --> 00:05:39,220 Jeff, what are you doing here? 99 00:05:39,460 --> 00:05:43,800 Ira, Zoe, look who's here. It's Grandma Robbins. Come all the way from 100 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:47,400 Pennsylvania to help Sybil and me celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. 101 00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:48,840 Oh. 102 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:50,080 Excuse me? 103 00:05:52,260 --> 00:05:53,800 Yeah, hard to believe, huh? 104 00:05:54,540 --> 00:05:56,460 All those years Sybil and me together. 105 00:05:57,230 --> 00:05:58,230 What does that make me? 106 00:05:59,210 --> 00:06:00,210 Her agent. 107 00:06:01,050 --> 00:06:02,750 Oh, so I don't even exist. 108 00:06:02,990 --> 00:06:04,910 Excellent. Of course you exist. 109 00:06:05,370 --> 00:06:07,710 She has very low self -esteem. She's very troubled. 110 00:06:07,930 --> 00:06:10,990 Sybil and I had to take her in off the street. She's very troubled. 111 00:06:11,390 --> 00:06:12,390 Troubled how? 112 00:06:12,470 --> 00:06:13,610 I'm an anarchist. 113 00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:17,090 Did she say antichrist? 114 00:06:19,310 --> 00:06:20,310 Yes. 115 00:06:29,130 --> 00:06:31,530 I want the keys to your car, Princess of Light. 116 00:06:35,590 --> 00:06:38,050 Okay, uh, red -headed girl? 117 00:06:40,310 --> 00:06:41,410 Zoe's the Antichrist. 118 00:06:47,730 --> 00:06:49,310 Well, that explains a lot. 119 00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:55,070 Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm late for my head -spinning class. 120 00:06:58,380 --> 00:07:00,760 I'm not sharing a bathroom with her, am I? 121 00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:03,280 No, Grandma. 122 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:07,220 But speaking of bathrooms, we do have a plumbing problem. Honey! 123 00:07:08,300 --> 00:07:10,240 I can't believe you'd use me like this. 124 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,400 Quick, who are you? I'm your agent, Ira. 125 00:07:15,740 --> 00:07:16,800 Hello, Agent Ira. 126 00:07:18,300 --> 00:07:20,800 I just came by to see how your new job was going. 127 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,340 Oh, you have a new acting job? 128 00:07:23,540 --> 00:07:26,120 Tell me about it. Yes, tell us about it. 129 00:07:26,460 --> 00:07:27,460 Agent Ira. 130 00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:32,260 Sybil plays the ex -wife of a two -timing lech who has to pretend she's 131 00:07:32,260 --> 00:07:35,420 married to him, much to the delight of her second ex -husband who can't wait to 132 00:07:35,420 --> 00:07:36,420 see how it all turns out. 133 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:40,920 Also, it's a comedy. 134 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:45,860 Yeah, except it's so not funny. 135 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:50,040 That must be the food. 136 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:54,280 So, how long are you staying? 137 00:07:56,620 --> 00:08:00,880 after the anniversary dinner. Oh, that's too bad, because Sybil loves company. 138 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:04,760 Oh, well, I could stay a month or two. 139 00:08:08,580 --> 00:08:10,180 Picking in tonight, are we? 140 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:14,760 Okay, so you're a snotty waiter wherever you are. 141 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:19,900 Hey, I ordered extra Parmesan. 142 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:21,900 You brought red pepper. 143 00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:23,300 Oh, I see. 144 00:08:23,580 --> 00:08:26,240 You expected one thing, and you got something else. 145 00:08:26,620 --> 00:08:29,380 So now you're going to look at me differently for the rest of my life. 146 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:32,340 Well, I am the same waiter I have always been, damn it. 147 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:39,320 We're not talking about cheese here, are we? 148 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:41,480 I'm sorry. 149 00:08:41,700 --> 00:08:42,700 I'm a wreck. 150 00:08:43,220 --> 00:08:47,540 My parents are flying in from Wisconsin tomorrow, and I've decided I'm going to 151 00:08:47,540 --> 00:08:49,240 tell them I'm gay. They don't know? 152 00:08:51,980 --> 00:08:55,240 I mean, they don't know? 153 00:08:58,260 --> 00:09:02,760 No. I put it off for years, and then I moved away from home, and then I spent 154 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:04,700 the 80s touring up with people. 155 00:09:08,060 --> 00:09:11,100 Before I knew it, I was 34 and living a lie. 156 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:15,900 I think it's great you're going to tell your parents. The only way to go through 157 00:09:15,900 --> 00:09:17,460 life is to be completely honest. 158 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,700 Hey, dinner time. 159 00:09:22,140 --> 00:09:24,880 Get that husband of yours out here. I'm starving. 160 00:09:30,540 --> 00:09:31,540 Completely is the goal. 161 00:09:35,100 --> 00:09:37,860 Happy anniversary, kid. 162 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:39,700 Now give her a kiss, Jeffy. 163 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:42,160 Kiss her. 164 00:09:43,260 --> 00:09:44,260 Cheek. 165 00:09:44,700 --> 00:09:48,080 Here you go. 166 00:09:48,300 --> 00:09:50,360 For you, chicken marsala. 167 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:52,680 For you, filet mignon. 168 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:53,479 All right. 169 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:56,200 And for you, chicken marsala and filet mignon. 170 00:09:58,060 --> 00:09:59,060 Thank you. 171 00:10:03,050 --> 00:10:05,730 If that's the entertainment, the place sucks. 172 00:10:09,090 --> 00:10:10,630 Oh, excuse me. 173 00:10:12,750 --> 00:10:15,350 What's the matter with you? You see that couple over there? 174 00:10:15,730 --> 00:10:19,490 Are those your parents? No. But see how he cuts his steak before he eats it? 175 00:10:19,550 --> 00:10:20,550 Watch and learn. 176 00:10:23,310 --> 00:10:24,830 Those are my parents. 177 00:10:25,190 --> 00:10:26,510 Oh, they look nice. 178 00:10:27,010 --> 00:10:28,550 Hey, I cut my steak. 179 00:10:29,870 --> 00:10:31,910 I've decided tonight's the night to tell them. 180 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:33,400 Good for you. 181 00:10:33,540 --> 00:10:36,140 If you need any support, let me know. Thank you. 182 00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:41,280 Mom? Dad? 183 00:10:41,740 --> 00:10:47,580 This is Sybil Sheridan, star of... of... This is Sybil Sheridan. 184 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:51,680 Hello, Mr. and Mrs. 185 00:10:53,380 --> 00:10:54,380 Waiter's parents. 186 00:10:55,900 --> 00:10:57,300 How's your trip been so far? 187 00:10:57,820 --> 00:10:59,000 Oh, it's been wonderful. 188 00:10:59,260 --> 00:11:02,160 And the food here is ABC delicious. 189 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:06,960 Slugger took us to the Getty Museum today. 190 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,440 Educational? I'll say. 191 00:11:10,980 --> 00:11:14,460 Every time we come here, we seem to learn something new. 192 00:11:16,660 --> 00:11:17,740 I think they're ready. 193 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:22,320 Mom, Dad, it's time you knew. 194 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:26,040 Dibble Sheridan is my girlfriend. 195 00:11:28,590 --> 00:11:29,590 Girlfriend? 196 00:11:30,130 --> 00:11:32,210 Oh, my Lord and Taylor. 197 00:11:33,930 --> 00:11:37,250 And she is a beautiful girlfriend to boot. 198 00:11:38,190 --> 00:11:40,330 Look at these hands, Papa. 199 00:11:40,670 --> 00:11:42,530 These are milking hands. 200 00:11:45,470 --> 00:11:46,690 Make this stop. 201 00:11:47,570 --> 00:11:48,549 That's simple. 202 00:11:48,550 --> 00:11:52,130 You're the person who means more to me than anyone else in the whole world. The 203 00:11:52,130 --> 00:11:54,530 person who will never have to pay for another meal in this restaurant. 204 00:12:07,790 --> 00:12:08,769 just for tonight. 205 00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:10,710 No, I can't be your fake girlfriend. 206 00:12:11,070 --> 00:12:12,870 I'm too busy being his fake wife. 207 00:12:15,970 --> 00:12:19,110 Hey, what's my fake husband doing talking to that woman? 208 00:12:19,570 --> 00:12:21,270 He's fake cheating on me. 209 00:12:22,730 --> 00:12:24,190 That fake bastard. 210 00:12:26,450 --> 00:12:29,990 Do you want your grandmother to see you cheating on your wife? That would be me. 211 00:12:34,330 --> 00:12:35,330 Thank you. 212 00:12:39,689 --> 00:12:42,710 Jeffy, why did your gardener slap you just now? 213 00:12:45,210 --> 00:12:46,210 Gardener? 214 00:12:47,510 --> 00:12:50,530 Jeff Gardener's upset with him because he just won't stop plowing. 215 00:12:52,490 --> 00:12:55,010 Okay, that was 23 years ago. Get over it. 216 00:12:55,730 --> 00:12:58,050 We had a really bad farming argument once. 217 00:12:59,130 --> 00:13:00,130 Hi, everybody. 218 00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:01,950 We just stopped by to wish you a happy anniversary. 219 00:13:02,350 --> 00:13:03,350 In hell! 220 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:13,080 What the hell are you doing here anyway? 221 00:13:13,380 --> 00:13:14,380 We like to watch. 222 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:17,820 We are so happy about you and our son. 223 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:21,100 You're the first gal he ever introduced us to. 224 00:13:23,860 --> 00:13:24,860 Who is that? 225 00:13:25,420 --> 00:13:26,500 My boyfriend's mother. 226 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,320 Who's your boyfriend? 227 00:13:31,020 --> 00:13:32,020 The waiter. 228 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:36,440 Hey, I've been busy. 229 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:39,920 I've got to get track of all this. 230 00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:54,220 Lost your date to a pregnant cow. 231 00:13:55,540 --> 00:13:57,280 Did you sneak off to vodka country? 232 00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:04,280 Notable, this stupid winery has a barn, and the local vet is out of town, and 233 00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:06,180 they recognize Richard from that stupid commercial. 234 00:14:06,780 --> 00:14:10,000 Listen, I'm trying to keep my gay boyfriend from finding out I'm married 235 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,180 horndog who keeps picking up women at the bar. Goodbye. 236 00:14:15,460 --> 00:14:16,460 What's that? 237 00:14:16,780 --> 00:14:21,820 You need me to rush back to L .A.? Oh, damn, and I do so hate to miss the 238 00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:22,820 marriage. A miracle of birth. 239 00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:26,640 Darling, what happened? 240 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:29,700 Oh, she stepped on my hand. 241 00:14:29,980 --> 00:14:31,100 I think it's broken. 242 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:33,540 There's no way I'm going to deliver this calf now. 243 00:14:33,820 --> 00:14:34,820 Hallelujah! 244 00:14:35,180 --> 00:14:39,220 I mean, you know, she didn't kick you in the head. Cows are always doing that on 245 00:14:39,220 --> 00:14:40,220 television. 246 00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:42,660 We're just about to get you to a hospital. 247 00:14:43,140 --> 00:14:44,920 Well, no, we can't leave. 248 00:14:45,460 --> 00:14:47,720 Someone's got to help Flossie deliver this calf. 249 00:14:48,660 --> 00:14:50,720 But who? 250 00:14:59,180 --> 00:15:00,580 We should introduce ourselves. 251 00:15:03,420 --> 00:15:06,860 No, I can't. I'm a Mrs. Beef. I'm having white wine. It's just not right. 252 00:15:08,300 --> 00:15:12,280 Marianne, sweetheart, you can do this. Just think of the new life that you're 253 00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:13,280 bringing into the world. 254 00:15:17,260 --> 00:15:19,140 Could you just move back a little? 255 00:15:26,460 --> 00:15:28,000 Keep an eye on that agent. 256 00:15:28,650 --> 00:15:30,950 He's a little too friendly with your siblings. 257 00:15:31,970 --> 00:15:33,970 Believe me, you don't have to worry about them. 258 00:15:34,370 --> 00:15:35,370 Oh? 259 00:15:36,090 --> 00:15:38,930 What makes you so sure, Mr. Smarty Pants? 260 00:15:39,810 --> 00:15:40,810 He's gay. 261 00:15:44,130 --> 00:15:45,390 I had a feeling. 262 00:15:47,790 --> 00:15:49,990 Okay, I think this should do it. 263 00:15:50,610 --> 00:15:56,950 Loving husband, confused boyfriend, wife, girlfriend, agent, antichrist. 264 00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:00,660 I love it when we get together as a family. 265 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:05,320 Everything's taken care of. Now let's relax and have a nice, quiet dinner. 266 00:16:05,940 --> 00:16:07,000 Happy anniversary! 267 00:16:07,460 --> 00:16:08,460 Happy anniversary! 268 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:11,280 Happy anniversary! 269 00:16:12,140 --> 00:16:13,140 Oh, 270 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:19,660 I was afraid you'd be embarrassed by a cake, but Jeffy said you would love it. 271 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:26,340 You cut it, honey. I wouldn't trust myself with a knife. 272 00:16:29,900 --> 00:16:30,859 Excuse us. 273 00:16:30,860 --> 00:16:34,700 You can't have an anniversary. What are my parents going to think? Hey, you knew 274 00:16:34,700 --> 00:16:36,300 I was married when you asked me to be your girlfriend. 275 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:37,640 I don't care. 276 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:41,040 You can be his wife at home, but at this restaurant, you belong to me. 277 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:45,860 Are you going to let that little rooster peck around your wife? 278 00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:48,480 What wife? 279 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:50,620 Oh, my wife. 280 00:16:51,100 --> 00:16:52,220 I'm 25 years. 281 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:54,000 Hell no. 282 00:16:55,380 --> 00:16:57,940 What do you think you're doing, talking to my wife like that? 283 00:16:58,820 --> 00:17:00,980 Hey, pal, you don't want to mess with me right now. 284 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:03,640 Come on, I dare you. Come on! 285 00:17:05,380 --> 00:17:07,839 This has gone on long enough. I'm sick of these lies. 286 00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:09,900 I didn't even get a chance to eat. 287 00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:13,240 Well, he'll think twice before he tries that again. 288 00:17:15,380 --> 00:17:17,160 Excuse me, Grandma, that's my mechanic. 289 00:17:20,660 --> 00:17:21,800 Okay, here's the truth. 290 00:17:22,079 --> 00:17:23,839 That was my ex -husband, Jeff. 291 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:25,980 Did you hear that, Papa? She's divorced. 292 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:28,119 Well, I drive a used car. 293 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:31,640 Look, folks. 294 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:37,920 Your son loves you very much. And he has something important to tell you. So try 295 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:39,180 to open your hearts and listen. 296 00:17:41,340 --> 00:17:42,340 Okay, fine. 297 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:46,300 Mom, Dad, I'm... 298 00:18:12,010 --> 00:18:14,070 So, you see, it was just a small mix -up in the lab. 299 00:18:14,270 --> 00:18:17,110 It wasn't a tumor the size of a pear. It was a pear. 300 00:18:19,830 --> 00:18:21,730 Oh, that is wonderful news. 301 00:18:22,030 --> 00:18:23,030 Thank you, Dr. 302 00:18:23,290 --> 00:18:24,290 Woodbine. 303 00:18:25,330 --> 00:18:26,730 He is not a specialist. 304 00:18:26,950 --> 00:18:29,910 He knows nothing about my disorder. Nobody knows anything about my disorder. 305 00:18:30,030 --> 00:18:32,250 It's a very rare disorder. That's why I'm dying. 306 00:18:35,330 --> 00:18:36,730 Medication. Clouds are mine. 307 00:18:40,460 --> 00:18:42,100 I think this calls for a celebration. 308 00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:44,080 Who wants Sanka? 309 00:18:46,580 --> 00:18:49,860 When we thought you were dying, we were going to skip the Sanka, but now? 310 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:51,240 What the hay? 311 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:56,220 I can't. I've got to get back to my ex -husband, Jeff. Heck, call them over. 312 00:18:56,420 --> 00:18:57,600 They can help us celebrate. 313 00:18:58,080 --> 00:18:59,400 They can't come over here. 314 00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:01,220 Oh, please. How much worse can things get? 315 00:19:01,580 --> 00:19:02,580 Happy anniversary! 316 00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:03,920 Happy anniversary! 317 00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:12,110 A second cake? I couldn't resist. 318 00:19:14,090 --> 00:19:15,090 Okay, that's it! 319 00:19:16,690 --> 00:19:17,990 Listen up here, people. 320 00:19:18,590 --> 00:19:19,690 Here's what's happening. 321 00:19:19,910 --> 00:19:21,270 I'm not married to him. 322 00:19:22,330 --> 00:19:23,890 And I'm not marrying him. 323 00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:29,310 He's not my agent or my doctor. And she's not the Antichrist. She's just me 324 00:19:29,310 --> 00:19:30,310 her mother. 325 00:19:32,310 --> 00:19:33,490 And I'm gay. 326 00:19:36,750 --> 00:19:38,990 Oh, don't look so shocked. 327 00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:44,459 This is Hollywood. 328 00:19:44,460 --> 00:19:45,460 I'm a waiter. 329 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:46,560 Add it up. 330 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:55,960 Well, what do you think about that, Papa? 331 00:19:57,100 --> 00:19:58,500 I don't know what to think. 332 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:00,640 I never should have told them the truth. 333 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,180 I should have done what my brother did. Get married, have kids, and go on 334 00:20:04,180 --> 00:20:05,700 business trips to San Francisco. 335 00:20:08,910 --> 00:20:12,070 Telling them was the right idea. Just give them a chance to let it sink in. 336 00:20:12,090 --> 00:20:15,910 Mother, this could be our ticket into that alternative lifestyle support group 337 00:20:15,910 --> 00:20:16,910 at the church. 338 00:20:17,130 --> 00:20:18,410 Oh, Papa. 339 00:20:18,850 --> 00:20:23,390 Maybe now Rosalind Bartlett will stop acting so high and mighty about her damn 340 00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:24,390 lesbian twins. 341 00:20:26,710 --> 00:20:27,990 You know what, Slugger? 342 00:20:29,290 --> 00:20:30,650 We're glad you're gay. 343 00:20:33,270 --> 00:20:35,070 Really? Oh, sure. 344 00:20:35,810 --> 00:20:37,230 It makes you interested. 345 00:20:39,460 --> 00:20:42,580 Maybe now you can teach your father how to dress. 346 00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:48,520 Hey, everybody. 347 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:50,700 Cinca's on the house. 348 00:20:59,180 --> 00:21:02,940 I feel so much better now that everybody knows the truth. 349 00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:04,480 I have a terrific RDN. 350 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,540 I think you should fix that cute waiter up with your agent. 351 00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:16,520 Agent? 352 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:20,600 Oh, I forgot to tell you, Sib. I kind of traded Ira to the other team. 353 00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:36,720 It wasn't important. 354 00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:40,320 Honey bun? 355 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:42,300 Yeah. Nookum? 356 00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:45,880 Barnabas, next year you're flying my ass to Paris. 357 00:21:46,220 --> 00:21:47,220 Oh. 358 00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:49,340 And I'm bringing a date. 359 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:04,380 Richard, darling, we can't go until I find my phone. 26901

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