All language subtitles for cybill_s03e22_the_wedding

No, actually, my new movie, Punch Out,
doesn't celebrate mindless violence like

a lot of action films.

Instead, it explores a man and a woman's
struggle against an unjust society.

Any more questions?

Okay, class, I'll call on you one at a
time.

Uh, Ethan, Elizabeth, want to put your
cell phones away?

Talk to each other after class?

Right now, you're making our guest feel
insignificant.

Timmy? What was the percentage of the
movie profits?

Percentage. Profit. Those are big words
for a third grader.

Which means she doesn't.

It's all right, Mr. Manning. Since you
asked, Timmy, my agent is negotiating

a percentage of the net profits for the
sequel.

You know what negotiating means?

Yes, I do.

I also know what net means.

Bupkis.

Let's recess.

I thought we'd get little Timmy in a
game of dodgeball.

We don't have recess. We have Tai Chi or
C -SPAN.

Elizabeth. I went online and downloaded
your career information from the web.

Uh -oh.

My feeling, as a woman, is that you've
played more than your share of victims.

Is this a positive message?

Hey.

You know how hard it is to raise a
family in this town on your own?

Talk to me when you've got a mortgage.

Thank you for the question.

Well, that's all the time Miss Sheridan
has for us today, so let's thank her.

Thank you, Miss Sheridan.

You're welcome, children... of the corn.

Okay, everybody, gather your things and
line up for snack.

You. All right, vegetarians on the
right, lactose intolerance on the left.

Thank you,

Miss Sheridan.

I'm sorry, I received a back -to -profit
thing.

Oh, that's all right, Timmy.

Listen, about the sequel, I think you
could take a look at my contract.

Loving what it loves you And then taking
that vow Nice work if you can

get it And if you get it

Do we have to go to this wedding? Yes.

Dave is our godson.

He practically grew up with Rachel and
Zoe.

And his parents still live across the
street. I can't say I'm out of town.

They've been watching the house.

What?

Thank you. You're welcome.

Dave is a great kid, but his mother has
been driving me crazy.

Ever since you and I split, Gretchen
keeps trying to fix me up.

You and me both.

This one guy she fixed me up with,

parrot on our date.

And then he acted all innocent when the
bird looked down my blouse and said,

make him dance, mama.

Like it learned that in the pet store.

Oh, I've got a message.

I hope it's from Mary Ann.

She finally got the nerve to take
Richard home to meet her parents.

Sybil, darling, we're in Buffalo. I'm
calling from the car. We've been driving

through my old neighborhood for hours.

She lives across the street from a
sausage factory.

She must be afraid to go in the house. I
am not afraid to go into the house.

every waking moment.

But just in case, could you wear a
Chanel suit, stiletto heels, and yell,

right, during the wedding vows?

Now, remember, if anybody asks, I broke
my foot skiing.

Why don't you just tell everyone the
truth?

You broke it while you were having sex.

Zoe, nobody needs to hear that.

Well, sure they do.

Everyone I told about it needed to hear
a lot more.

Could you try and show a little
consideration, please? Rachel is

is not an easy time. What with the
backaches and the bloating and the mood

swings and the morning sickness.

Frankly, I'm in hell.

Yeah.

Shut up.

Oh, that's Justin.

Oh, look, she's all gaga because her
boyfriend's here.

He's not my boyfriend.

Well, he's a boy, and he's a friend.

So he's your boyfriend.

I was too old for this game when I was
born, okay?

Hi, boyfriend.

I hate you so much right now.

Oh, I'm driving over here in my mom's
car, right? And the car phone rings.

It's her in Buffalo.

telling me to call Grandma and say that
her plane got hijacked to the South

American country of my choice.

Then, five minutes later, Grandma calls.

Says the Chinese mafia is circling her
house in a rental car.

If heredity is real, I am really
screwed.

Oh, I heard that boyfriend thing, by the
way.

Isn't it really, really incredible?

Oh.

They have a good band at the wedding
tonight because I cannot wait to get you

the dance floor.

Dancing? Oh, Zoe loves to dance.

Don't you, Zoe?

Yeah.

I'm going to go get something to eat.

I know all they're going to serve there
is animal flesh.

Does your mom have any tofu?

Well, if she does, it'll be dipped in
fudge.

Great. Thanks a lot, Rachel. You know
how self -conscious I am about the way I

dance. It serves you right for blabbing
about our sex life. You know, some

things are supposed to be private.

Oh, really? Is that why you did it in a
phone booth on the Santa Monica Pier?

What? Do you, like, follow us?

Uh, Zoe, speaking of dancing, who am I?

So that's what you do with those things.
I've been using them as coasters.

Okay, Mom, we're ready.

Oh, look how beautiful you both look.

I want a picture with my daughters. Ira,
my camera's right over there.

Oh,

just sit down and look like you love me.

Okay, big smile.

Wait.

While we're all here together, I just
want to say I feel like I have so much

be grateful for.

Oh, my God. She thinks it's
Thanksgiving.

I have two beautiful daughters. I'm
starring in a new movie.

These are the moments that I just want
to hold on to forever.

Out of the way. It's Marianne.

No way.

Thanks. Bye.

Great. I'm going to a wedding to see all
these people.

Now how am I going to make them wish
they were me?

I hate this day already.

Oh, Sib, I'm sorry.

But like you said, you still have your
two beautiful daughters.

Oh, big whoop.

to eat your potatoes.

Mother. Oh, forgive me.

She doesn't think her God -given name of
Teresa is good enough for her phony,

baloney, drugged -out Hollywood friends.

But she changed it to Aunt Marie.

It's Marianne. Remember, Mother?

It's on all the checks I send you.

So, Richard, Teresa says that you're a
vet.

Do you take care of dogs?

Sure do.

Pets? Yes, ma 'am.

Birds? Mm -hmm.

Lizards? Sometimes.

Rabbits? Yes!

Animals, mother!

Anything that flies, swims, hops, or
crawls and isn't an attorney, he treats!

You don't have to bite my head off.

Chickens?

Hit him!

Hit him! Use your left hook! Knock him
out!

Jeez, I love hockey.

How about you, Richard?

Actually, I'm more of a tennis man.

Why?

No blood in tennis.

I'm sorry. You meant that.

Well, it's time for bed.

It's only six o 'clock.

Yes, but that's three o 'clock our time.

Good night, everyone. Richard and I like
to sleep in, so we'll see you at seven

for dinner.

Oh, no.

The two of you are not sleeping in the
same bedroom.

There has been no sex in this house for
20 years. There will be none tonight.

Right, Roy?

Not in this house.

I will not be treated like a child. I am
43 years old.

Though you'd never know it to look at
me.

Oh, don't make such a fuss.

I mean, Richard can bunk with Roy and
you can stay with me.

It'll be like old times.

I'll braid your hair, and you can pumice
my bunions.

I need to talk to Thibault.

Here comes the groom.

Your mom tells me he had quite the crush
on you growing up.

What can I say? I'm a babe.

I used to take care of him after school.

We'd play Wild West together.

I dressed him like a cowboy and tied him
to a tree.

You told me I was the first.

Hello, Rachel.

Davey, hi. Oh, look, it's you.

So handsome.

Rachel, please.

You were my babysitter. I mean, we had
some laughs.

Let it go.

It seems like only yesterday you were a
little four -year -old sitting at my

kitchen table with a milk mustache.

And now here you are, getting married
for the first time.

I mean, only time.

I hope.

I'd expect.

Did I see Punch?

Oh, there's my baby boy.

Ira, I'm not talking to you.

Gretchen, you just did.

My friend Penny really likes...

and you never called her back.

Now, how does that make me look?

You're right, Gretchen.

David, when do I get to kiss a bride?

So you're here with Ira.

Don't go there, Gretchen. Oh, but I
must.

Listen, the marriage is over. Ira and I
are just friends.

Is that so?

Oh, Gretchen, please don't. Glenn. You
do.

This is civil.

You know what?

You two are both in show business.

Uh -huh.

Action.

Well, Glenn, what exactly do you do?

Well, excuse me.

Actually, I... What is going on here?

Must have been a mix -up of the
cleaners.

And you're still single.

I don't get it.

Two clubs?

No.

Two of spades?

Nope. You got a two?

Nope. Want to dance?

Yep.

I want to dance.

I don't feel like it.

I want to dance.

Justin, I'm a lousy dancer.

draw attention with them, okay?

The best man just cut me off at the
buffet table.

Let's go dance some more. I'm ready to
rumble.

Great. That was probably for legal
purposes.

I'll get you some milk.

Milk? You're in training.

Hey, Vista Fury here?

She's with me.

Get it out. Get the quarter out of my
ear now.

on Friday night?

Nothing. Good.

For the sake of all women everywhere,
keep it that way.

You know, so far this wedding isn't so
bad.

The food's good. Gretchen hasn't tried
to set me up and Zoe's want to know.

Well, I'm having a rotten time.

Everyone's asking about my movie and
Gretchen set me up with some weird

freak who pulled a bunny out of his
pants.

I think it was a bunny.

awful. You want me to take you home
right now because I'm ready to go.

No, no. I was a little embarrassed at
first, but now everyone's acting really

scared of me.

I don't ever want this night to end.

How'd it go with Glenn?

Any of the, all the gals are asking
about him.

That's because I warned them in the
bathroom.

Same old civil.

Picky, picky, picky.

What's that supposed to mean?

Oh, never mind.

You know I only want you to be happy.

Here it comes.

I just don't get it. And you had the
sweetest man in the world. And a

family. And you had to go and break up
the marriage.

Oh, I'll never understand you.

Well, thanks a lot.

Why?

Ira, I can't believe you just sat there
and let her blame me for our divorce.

Oh, come on. It was just Gretchen. I
don't care who it is. I didn't get a

divorce by myself, you know. Come on,
Mom. You're overreacting.

I mean, everyone knows Dad didn't ask
for the divorce.

You're right.

It's all my fault.

Sybil. Forget it!

I want to get out of here before this
day gets any worse!

Dammit, Marianne, get off the phone!

Mother, I'm expecting a very important
phone call from Sybil.

Listen, Trudy, what are you bringing to
St.

Dominic's pancake breakfast?

Pancakes, me too.

Gin!

We're playing canasta.

No, I want some gin.

Listen, Trudy, I'll talk to you next
week.

Finally.

Put your cousin Lucille on.

Oh, she's not there?

Well, who is?

Oh, well, she'll do.

God, I really need to speak to Sybil.

What?

Marianne, Teresa, whoever you are, I
love

you.

Mother, give me that phone!

whatever you're doing and call me.

Unless you're watering my plants, in
which case remember that the one on the

table is fake.

untraceable balletic.

Oh, Marianne.

Marianne, nobody loves me. Everybody
hates me.

I'm going to go eat worms.

Darling, I have no idea what you're
talking about.

But they are wrong, wrong, wrong.

And you are right, right, right.

Except for that suit.

the drapes of the beef and reef.

Oh, it does not.

Who is it?

It's Ira.

I'll get it.

He was rotten to me at that wedding. I
am really mad at him.

Hi. You weren't home. I figured you'd be
here.

Who were you talking to?

None of your beeswax.

apologize, but I wouldn't want to be
rude to your imaginary friend.

That's it, Ira.

Poke the bear.

Okay. Now, I know I asked for this
divorce, but you sure as hell acted as

wanted one.

I know, I know.

I'm sorry that it looked like it was all
your fault that we split up. It was my

responsibility too, and for the record,
I told that to Gretchen.

In front of Zoe?

Yes.

And of course, Zoe said, I am so wrong.

My mother does not deserve my
resentment.

I am going to go home this minute and
write her a poem.

I think you should go with that.

I don't know why I keep waiting for her
to stop blaming me. It may never happen.

I mean, I never forgave my mother for
bringing my sanitary belt to school in

seventh grade.

And our divorce was much worse.

Although it wasn't announced over the PA
system.

Are we okay?

Yeah.

You coming?

Yes.

By the way, I want to thank you for
hanging through that sanitary belt

I could see you were getting a little
woozy towards the end.

It was okay. I saw it coming, so I zoned
out and thought about golf.

That's funny.

When you talk about golf, I think
about...

Thanks.

Richard said the L word?

He said it first?

All right. I owe you 50 bucks.