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1
00:00:00,910 --> 00:00:03,390
Hey, y 'all, we've got to help Farmer
Johnson.
2
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He's stuck in the well again.
3
00:00:05,990 --> 00:00:10,730
But what can we do, Hambone? We don't
have opposable thumbs.
4
00:00:11,390 --> 00:00:12,390
Thumbs?
5
00:00:13,310 --> 00:00:14,310
What's a thumb?
6
00:00:15,330 --> 00:00:18,370
And some of us have brains the size of a
walnut.
7
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But are we going to let that stop us?
8
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No.
9
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Walnuts.
10
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What's a walnut?
11
00:00:26,530 --> 00:00:27,530
Boy,
12
00:00:29,350 --> 00:00:30,350
you guys.
13
00:00:30,380 --> 00:00:31,380
Dank.
14
00:00:32,180 --> 00:00:34,880
Except for Sybil. All that time you've
been spending on his set with Hambone
15
00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:35,699
really shows.
16
00:00:35,700 --> 00:00:40,420
Oh, thank you very much. I've really
enjoyed it.
17
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:44,380
He smells a lot better than a lot of the
co -stars I've worked with. I don't
18
00:00:44,380 --> 00:00:47,100
want to name names, but his initials are
Marlon Brando.
19
00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:51,120
I think the rest of you can use some
time studying your animals, too. I'll
20
00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:53,100
you on the soundstage 8 a .m. tomorrow.
Got it?
21
00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:55,320
Gee, thanks a lot, Sybil.
22
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:58,140
The only job I want to study is on my
plate.
23
00:00:58,570 --> 00:01:00,230
swimming in orange shorts.
24
00:01:02,150 --> 00:01:03,150
Uh, Sybil?
25
00:01:03,250 --> 00:01:05,349
Yeah? What is going on with your hair?
26
00:01:05,830 --> 00:01:06,850
Oh, don't ask.
27
00:01:07,210 --> 00:01:10,270
I did a hair color commercial last week,
and they fried it.
28
00:01:10,690 --> 00:01:15,150
I've been told it looks like astroturf,
tumbleweed, and something that baby
29
00:01:15,150 --> 00:01:16,170
Jesus slept in.
30
00:01:17,370 --> 00:01:18,690
I've got two words for you, girlfriend.
31
00:01:19,410 --> 00:01:20,890
Mayo nays.
32
00:01:21,730 --> 00:01:24,210
It's a great deep conditioner. Really,
look at my hair.
33
00:01:24,850 --> 00:01:27,110
Mayo? I've been using it on cold cuts.
34
00:01:27,610 --> 00:01:32,190
Oh, I have some leftover tapioca for my
psoriasis. And I have something on the
35
00:01:32,190 --> 00:01:34,250
back of my neck I don't even want to
show you.
36
00:01:35,830 --> 00:01:39,930
Look, you have to be very careful when
you do those commercials for hair color,
37
00:01:39,970 --> 00:01:40,469
you know?
38
00:01:40,470 --> 00:01:42,610
I wouldn't have done it except they paid
me a fortune.
39
00:01:43,650 --> 00:01:45,190
Of course I'm worth it.
40
00:01:47,410 --> 00:01:54,350
Loving one who loves you And then taking
that vow Nice work if you can
41
00:01:54,350 --> 00:01:56,190
get it And if you get it
42
00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:13,960
nose job, Marianne. Thanks.
43
00:02:14,860 --> 00:02:16,840
Come on to the kitchen. I'm getting
ready to put mayonnaise on my hair.
44
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:18,720
Fabulous.
45
00:02:19,820 --> 00:02:20,820
Nothing from Zoe.
46
00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:25,240
Three weeks in Europe, and all I've got
is a lousy postcard with two words. Send
47
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money.
48
00:02:53,019 --> 00:02:55,920
Hambone. I'm in love with him. Thank you
very much. Which one? You told me there
49
00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:57,540
were 15 Hambones. There are 15.
50
00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:01,060
There's a swimming pig, a dancing pig.
There's even a pig who can crush a beer
51
00:03:01,060 --> 00:03:02,060
can on his forehead.
52
00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:03,039
That's disgusting.
53
00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:04,040
Pigs are old men.
54
00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:06,300
Not my Hambone.
55
00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:09,200
He's got soul. He's charming. That's why
he's the main pig.
56
00:03:09,700 --> 00:03:11,800
Sybil? Yes? Why are we doing this?
57
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,540
I thought we were drifting apart as
friends.
58
00:03:17,550 --> 00:03:20,810
essential. Maybe I'll try it on Ira when
he gets back from his book tour
59
00:03:20,810 --> 00:03:24,190
tomorrow. Uh -huh. And let me just say
ick. Ick, ick, ick, ick, ick.
60
00:03:24,750 --> 00:03:25,750
Are you done?
61
00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:27,390
Yes. No, wait.
62
00:03:27,670 --> 00:03:28,670
Ick!
63
00:03:28,910 --> 00:03:34,670
Go on. Thank you. So, as you know, Ira
and I never did consummate our love
64
00:03:34,670 --> 00:03:35,670
before he left.
65
00:03:35,890 --> 00:03:39,510
Sure, we dallied and fiber optic
erotica.
66
00:03:39,770 --> 00:03:41,110
Fiber optic erotica.
67
00:03:41,850 --> 00:03:43,290
You and Ira had phone sex?
68
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:45,040
Ick to infinity.
69
00:03:46,420 --> 00:03:50,060
Just between you, me, and the condiment,
I'm a little anxious about our
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00:03:50,060 --> 00:03:51,360
impending mattress mambo.
71
00:03:51,660 --> 00:03:55,360
Mary Ann, I told you. He's less of a
mambo and more of a minute wall.
72
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,720
Hey, a new way to waste food. How
American.
73
00:04:10,060 --> 00:04:13,160
and I took an earlier flight so I
wouldn't have to suffer this humiliation
74
00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:14,160
the airport.
75
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,800
Thank you so much for sending me on this
trip, Mom. It was the most incredible
76
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:19,000
three weeks of my life.
77
00:04:19,339 --> 00:04:21,140
So, tell us all about Europe.
78
00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:23,320
What movie did they show on the plane?
79
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:25,820
Yes, tell me everything.
80
00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:29,180
Where did you go? What did you see? What
did you bring me? In that order,
81
00:04:29,260 --> 00:04:30,940
Europe, everything and nothing.
82
00:04:31,770 --> 00:04:35,050
That's okay. You can wait and tell me
tomorrow. Hey, we can go bike riding,
83
00:04:35,050 --> 00:04:36,050
you can meet my pig.
84
00:04:36,270 --> 00:04:39,810
And I know you're dying for a good old
American cheeseburger, so for lunch
85
00:04:39,810 --> 00:04:41,190
go to Jacques in the Box.
86
00:04:41,850 --> 00:04:45,150
Mother, can you back off? You're worse
than that tour guide who hit me with a
87
00:04:45,150 --> 00:04:46,150
stick at the Louvre.
88
00:04:46,510 --> 00:04:48,890
Like I was really going to put the Mona
Lisa in my backpack.
89
00:04:50,450 --> 00:04:53,450
Listen, honey, if you want to, you can
just rest up all day for your welcome
90
00:04:53,450 --> 00:04:54,450
home party tomorrow night.
91
00:04:54,570 --> 00:04:55,710
I can't make it. I've got plans.
92
00:04:56,110 --> 00:04:57,110
See you tomorrow.
93
00:04:57,270 --> 00:04:58,069
See you, lovey.
94
00:04:58,070 --> 00:04:59,270
Say, forget it. You're coming.
95
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:03,800
Would you please give me five minutes to
adjust to being back in this cultural
96
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:07,160
wasteland? I've just come from the
birthplace of Mozart to the birthplace
97
00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:08,160
Wheel of Fortune.
98
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,920
L .A. has culture up the wazoo.
99
00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:12,380
We have a ballet company.
100
00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:13,840
No, we don't.
101
00:05:14,740 --> 00:05:16,500
Do we have opera? Don't ask me.
102
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:18,080
Well,
103
00:05:19,380 --> 00:05:21,180
I know the Lakers got Shaq.
104
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:26,760
Sybil's out.
105
00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:29,260
Oh, hello, Ira. How is Cleveland?
106
00:05:31,070 --> 00:05:32,070
Really?
107
00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:35,390
So tell me, cowboy, are you wearing your
chaps and spurs?
108
00:05:35,810 --> 00:05:36,810
Give me that.
109
00:05:37,730 --> 00:05:39,270
There's not enough Lysol in the world.
110
00:05:46,890 --> 00:05:50,470
I've washed my hair ten times, and I
still have a head full of saturated fat.
111
00:05:51,330 --> 00:05:52,530
Oh, I'm starving.
112
00:05:53,250 --> 00:05:55,230
Do you mind if I dip a few chips in your
head?
113
00:05:56,650 --> 00:05:57,650
Very funny.
114
00:05:59,210 --> 00:06:00,210
Oh, no.
115
00:06:00,370 --> 00:06:01,710
I think I'm going bad.
116
00:06:03,250 --> 00:06:04,570
Wow, look at him.
117
00:06:05,350 --> 00:06:07,410
That's Buddy the Bull. He certainly is.
118
00:06:08,230 --> 00:06:11,450
You know, he reminds me a little bit of
Ira.
119
00:06:13,450 --> 00:06:15,090
Wow, is she in for a letdown?
120
00:06:17,270 --> 00:06:18,270
Hey, Fuentes!
121
00:06:18,550 --> 00:06:20,470
Get your MTV ass over here.
122
00:06:24,350 --> 00:06:27,350
What did you do? Use a whole jar of...
123
00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:34,840
Maybe. Hey.
124
00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:38,580
Hey, stop that. That's D -K -N -Y, not F
-O -O -T.
125
00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:41,820
Come on. Come on, it's not your color.
126
00:06:43,340 --> 00:06:46,700
Oh, my goodness, look at this. I'm
actually bonding with a duck. The next
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00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:48,620
you know, I'll be making funny golf
tapes.
128
00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:50,800
You want to see bonding, Deluise? Watch
this.
129
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:52,979
Hand bone.
130
00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:56,280
Come on. Come on, hand bone. Come on,
hand bone. Come on, hand bone.
131
00:06:56,620 --> 00:06:57,620
Good.
132
00:07:00,430 --> 00:07:01,970
Watch Sybil, everyone, and learn.
133
00:07:02,850 --> 00:07:06,790
She's feeding, she's snorting, she's
loving.
134
00:07:08,350 --> 00:07:10,130
She's costing me a fortune. Back to
work!
135
00:07:10,790 --> 00:07:13,990
All right, let's shoot the scene where
Hambone warns Farmer Johnson about the
136
00:07:13,990 --> 00:07:14,990
twister.
137
00:07:15,270 --> 00:07:16,270
Stop that!
138
00:07:18,390 --> 00:07:19,850
Okay, I can talk your language.
139
00:07:22,010 --> 00:07:23,050
Money, money.
140
00:07:23,670 --> 00:07:24,950
Good money, money, money, money.
141
00:07:26,470 --> 00:07:28,050
Yummy, yummy money.
142
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:36,600
You bitch.
143
00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:40,420
All right, then. Hold up that sleeve.
144
00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:42,600
Get the pig to tug at it. Action.
145
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:44,360
Tug. Tug.
146
00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:45,759
Come on.
147
00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,820
Tug. Come on. Come on. Tug.
148
00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:49,200
Tug. Tug.
149
00:07:49,900 --> 00:07:52,360
Cut. This pig is a lox.
150
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:57,860
That's the fourth time this week these
pigs today have absolutely no respect
151
00:07:57,860 --> 00:07:58,860
the craft.
152
00:07:59,070 --> 00:08:00,730
All right, this pig's finished. He's
bacon.
153
00:08:01,350 --> 00:08:02,490
What do you mean, bacon?
154
00:08:02,990 --> 00:08:03,990
You're kidding, right?
155
00:08:04,890 --> 00:08:06,630
What do you think they do with pigs who
can't act?
156
00:08:06,850 --> 00:08:09,450
If he can't do the job, this little
piggy goes to market.
157
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:12,330
No, wait a minute. He can do it?
158
00:08:12,810 --> 00:08:17,630
He's not going to do it. That pig's
Ernie Borg 9 and McHale's Navy all over
159
00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:18,630
again.
160
00:08:20,050 --> 00:08:21,450
Come on, Hambong. Tug!
161
00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:23,310
Tug! Tug!
162
00:08:24,130 --> 00:08:27,090
This is a tough business. One day you're
on top, and the next day you're a
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00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,090
football.
164
00:08:28,620 --> 00:08:30,400
Billy, let's try the understudy pig.
165
00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:32,740
He's been hocking me for a break.
166
00:08:38,500 --> 00:08:40,100
Wait a minute. Maybe he's depressed.
167
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,419
Maybe he's had a trauma. Maybe somebody
huffed and puffed and blew his house
168
00:08:43,419 --> 00:08:44,420
down.
169
00:08:54,250 --> 00:08:57,190
Rachel and Kevin have been in the living
room 20 minutes and you hadn't made fun
170
00:08:57,190 --> 00:08:59,290
of them once. How do you think that
makes them feel?
171
00:08:59,550 --> 00:09:01,810
Hang up now.
172
00:09:02,810 --> 00:09:03,810
Hang up now.
173
00:09:05,190 --> 00:09:06,270
Hang up!
174
00:09:07,730 --> 00:09:08,730
Au revoir.
175
00:09:10,070 --> 00:09:12,050
Je ne suis pas une enfant.
176
00:09:12,530 --> 00:09:14,150
Bleu de bleu de bleu de bleu.
177
00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:19,430
Je ne suis pas une enfant. Je ne suis
pas une enfant. Je ne suis pas une
178
00:09:20,730 --> 00:09:22,410
Je ne suis pas une enfant.
179
00:09:24,170 --> 00:09:24,829
Oh, my.
180
00:09:24,830 --> 00:09:26,390
I've never seen you two so happy.
181
00:09:27,570 --> 00:09:30,790
Whenever you want to talk about what's
really going on, I'm there for you.
182
00:09:31,150 --> 00:09:34,050
Thanks, Mom, but we've been working out
our problems and things have never been
183
00:09:34,050 --> 00:09:35,610
better. Yes, never been better.
184
00:09:36,350 --> 00:09:39,770
So young, so much in love, so full of
crap.
185
00:09:41,570 --> 00:09:42,870
Let's get something to drink. Yeah.
186
00:09:43,590 --> 00:09:44,750
What's up with Mom's hair?
187
00:09:45,330 --> 00:09:48,330
I don't know, but it's a real shame.
That's the best thing about her.
188
00:09:49,710 --> 00:09:52,530
It's been too loud. I'm hearing every
word. Changing my will.
189
00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:56,710
Hi, Ira. Hey, Sid.
190
00:09:57,090 --> 00:09:58,710
You look different. Cut your hair?
191
00:09:59,170 --> 00:10:00,170
Stop it!
192
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:01,829
I've had it.
193
00:10:01,830 --> 00:10:04,630
I want everyone in this house to hear
this. No, wait.
194
00:10:04,890 --> 00:10:06,590
I want everyone in America to hear this.
195
00:10:07,870 --> 00:10:09,810
I am not my hair!
196
00:10:10,690 --> 00:10:13,310
I am not my lawn!
197
00:10:14,250 --> 00:10:21,110
I caught your
198
00:10:21,110 --> 00:10:22,110
show when I was in Cleveland.
199
00:10:22,449 --> 00:10:23,890
That Hambone's one cute pig.
200
00:10:24,170 --> 00:10:26,230
Hey, how did they come to do all those
tricks anyway?
201
00:10:26,690 --> 00:10:28,190
They threatened to kill him. Happy now?
202
00:10:29,470 --> 00:10:32,510
Hey! Hey! Hi, honey. Welcome back. Hi,
Dad.
203
00:10:32,970 --> 00:10:36,650
Oh, welcome home, Zoe. I missed you. I
missed you, too. Bye.
204
00:10:38,110 --> 00:10:42,070
Zoe! I told you I had other plans. And I
told you you had to come to your own
205
00:10:42,070 --> 00:10:43,070
welcome home party.
206
00:10:45,230 --> 00:10:47,290
Hello. Oh, hi, Marianne.
207
00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:51,040
You know, Mom, in Europe, most parents
let their children do whatever they
208
00:10:51,100 --> 00:10:53,780
They can drink wine when they're nine,
and they can smoke when they're four.
209
00:10:53,980 --> 00:10:57,520
And some Europeans lock their children
up in towers and chop their head off.
210
00:10:59,300 --> 00:11:00,680
Party? Headless.
211
00:11:01,020 --> 00:11:02,020
You're a call.
212
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:05,580
Mom, you cut your thumb chopping a head
of lettuce.
213
00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:10,360
Wait, I'll ask her. Hey, Fib, I'm seeing
Marianne tomorrow night. Do you still
214
00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:12,840
have that Bordello outfit you stole from
the Kenny Rogers miniseries?
215
00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:16,540
Yes, I believe I do. It's up in my
closet.
216
00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:18,560
Under your last shred of dignity.
217
00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:20,760
Woo -hoo, we're in luck.
218
00:11:22,940 --> 00:11:24,800
Why? Give it to me. No.
219
00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:26,040
Give it to me. No.
220
00:11:47,150 --> 00:11:49,210
curfew by six hours and come home and
insult me.
221
00:11:49,690 --> 00:11:50,910
Curfew? That was for high school.
222
00:11:51,190 --> 00:11:52,190
Wait a minute.
223
00:11:52,410 --> 00:11:54,790
You're not going anywhere until you tell
me where you were all night.
224
00:11:55,710 --> 00:11:58,550
What difference does that make? I was
out all the time in Europe.
225
00:11:58,930 --> 00:12:01,010
What did you do, sleep on the stairs for
three weeks?
226
00:12:01,650 --> 00:12:02,650
No.
227
00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:04,230
After a week, I moved up to the landing.
228
00:12:06,050 --> 00:12:09,610
You know, Mom, when I was gone, I
learned that I can take care of myself.
229
00:12:09,610 --> 00:12:12,950
really don't need advice from a mother
who washes her hair with jelly spreads.
230
00:12:14,810 --> 00:12:15,930
Okay, you got me on the hair.
231
00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:21,580
Listen, while you live under my roof,
you live by my rules.
232
00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:26,920
Fine. Then I won't live under your roof
any longer. I'm moving out. Oh, good. I
233
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:27,920
can't wait for you to go. Good.
234
00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:31,440
And for your information, I was at
Nina's all night, and we didn't answer
235
00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:32,700
phone because we knew it was you.
236
00:12:34,260 --> 00:12:35,900
Oh, that's very mature.
237
00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:42,280
Marianne?
238
00:13:00,750 --> 00:13:02,190
He said to come dressed as a sheik.
239
00:13:03,430 --> 00:13:06,390
I said sheep, Ira, not sheik.
240
00:13:07,590 --> 00:13:10,830
What's sexy about little Bo Peep and a
Bedouin?
241
00:13:14,430 --> 00:13:15,430
Bad.
242
00:13:31,470 --> 00:13:35,510
We don't know what it feels like. No,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
243
00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:36,369
no, no. What?
244
00:13:36,370 --> 00:13:39,410
What? What is it? I had swimmer's ear
when I was 13, and it's built in
245
00:13:39,410 --> 00:13:40,610
sensitivity even to saliva.
246
00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:42,970
Oh, okay.
247
00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:44,590
Who needs ear?
248
00:13:44,850 --> 00:13:45,850
There's other stuff.
249
00:13:49,570 --> 00:13:51,670
Oh, I always make love with the lights
on.
250
00:13:52,230 --> 00:13:53,890
Well, I always make love with the lights
off.
251
00:13:54,550 --> 00:13:55,550
Let's compromise.
252
00:13:55,570 --> 00:13:56,570
Turn the lights on.
253
00:14:02,830 --> 00:14:04,450
Stand up. I want to watch you get
undressed.
254
00:14:04,870 --> 00:14:05,890
Oh, good luck.
255
00:14:06,370 --> 00:14:08,070
I can't even use a public urinal.
256
00:14:10,530 --> 00:14:14,150
Fine. Clothes on, lights off, no spit in
the air. Is there anything else I
257
00:14:14,150 --> 00:14:15,150
should know about?
258
00:14:15,410 --> 00:14:17,350
Do we need a big sheet with a little
hole in it?
259
00:14:20,570 --> 00:14:21,570
Oh, Jose.
260
00:14:22,230 --> 00:14:24,550
You saved my hair. You're a genius.
261
00:14:24,870 --> 00:14:25,829
But of course.
262
00:14:25,830 --> 00:14:29,830
You know, I don't usually make house
calls, but your friend Marianne said you
263
00:14:29,830 --> 00:14:32,050
looked too frightening to let into the
shop.
264
00:14:33,770 --> 00:14:34,770
Oh, that was real sweet.
265
00:14:35,770 --> 00:14:37,150
I hope I can afford this.
266
00:14:37,430 --> 00:14:39,410
Honey, you couldn't afford not to do
this.
267
00:14:43,290 --> 00:14:44,290
Hello?
268
00:14:44,570 --> 00:14:45,970
Oh, hi, Whitlow. What's up?
269
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:48,950
You want me to come bond with the new
pig?
270
00:14:50,270 --> 00:14:53,730
But I had real chemistry with Hambone.
What if the new pig has an attitude?
271
00:14:55,470 --> 00:14:57,810
Okay. I'll be there tomorrow morning at
nine.
272
00:15:00,730 --> 00:15:02,110
They canned my ham?
273
00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:06,360
Oh, poor pig. What happens to him now?
274
00:15:09,780 --> 00:15:15,140
Well... Help
275
00:15:15,140 --> 00:15:17,000
me!
276
00:15:17,780 --> 00:15:18,780
Help me!
277
00:15:19,700 --> 00:15:20,700
Help us!
278
00:15:25,540 --> 00:15:27,340
What happened to us, Marianne?
279
00:15:27,900 --> 00:15:30,420
Our thick life was so hot when we were
hundreds of miles apart.
280
00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:48,120
Talk to me, sailor.
281
00:15:48,620 --> 00:15:49,620
What are you wearing?
282
00:15:50,380 --> 00:15:54,340
Say, black hip boots, a studded bustier,
and a smile.
283
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:57,040
No, you're not. You're wearing that
Mother Goose thing.
284
00:15:58,520 --> 00:15:59,800
Bo Peep.
285
00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:01,240
Who cares?
286
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:06,120
Can't you just pretend you didn't see
it? I wouldn't have to pretend if the
287
00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:07,119
lights were off.
288
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:09,220
Oh, why don't you just come out here so
I can spit in your ear?
289
00:16:12,700 --> 00:16:14,440
Wait, I have another call. Hold on.
290
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:17,160
Hello?
291
00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:19,890
I've got to rescue a pig.
292
00:16:19,970 --> 00:16:20,970
Are you in?
293
00:16:21,870 --> 00:16:23,170
Abso -frickin' -lutely.
294
00:16:28,670 --> 00:16:29,670
Hey, Marianne.
295
00:16:30,310 --> 00:16:31,490
Want to play Dr. Zhivago?
296
00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:33,450
I'm wearing your mink coat.
297
00:16:39,210 --> 00:16:40,330
He's so cute.
298
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:44,130
You know, I could get fired for stealing
this pig, but I kept thinking, what's
299
00:16:44,130 --> 00:16:45,850
going to happen to Hambone? And I was
all...
300
00:16:46,170 --> 00:16:47,149
Pig. Job.
301
00:16:47,150 --> 00:16:49,330
Pig. Job. Pig job. Pig job. Pig job.
302
00:16:49,630 --> 00:16:51,990
Two blondes, a Mercedes, and a pig.
303
00:16:52,690 --> 00:16:54,390
Just another night in Los Angeles.
304
00:16:56,690 --> 00:16:57,770
Who needs Zoe?
305
00:16:58,110 --> 00:17:00,670
Huh? Tomorrow you and me will go to a
spa.
306
00:17:00,950 --> 00:17:04,329
What do you think? Huh? I'll get a
pedicure. You'll get your feet pickled.
307
00:17:05,290 --> 00:17:06,550
Bad idea. Bad idea.
308
00:17:06,810 --> 00:17:08,810
I'm going to get you some water. You
look thirsty.
309
00:17:09,589 --> 00:17:12,310
Who wouldn't be after eating all that
Mercedes interior?
310
00:17:13,670 --> 00:17:14,670
You don't want to talk.
311
00:17:14,990 --> 00:17:16,970
I've seen you suck a spilled daiquiri
off floor mats.
312
00:17:19,550 --> 00:17:20,670
Oh, ham bones.
313
00:17:21,010 --> 00:17:23,230
Why does sex have to be so complicated?
314
00:17:24,470 --> 00:17:26,050
You pigs have the right idea.
315
00:17:26,890 --> 00:17:28,410
Wham, bam, thank you, ham.
316
00:17:43,630 --> 00:17:44,810
I like what you've done with your room.
317
00:17:45,070 --> 00:17:46,530
But I wouldn't have put that tree there.
318
00:17:47,890 --> 00:17:50,950
As you can see, I am no longer living
under your roof.
319
00:17:51,350 --> 00:17:52,990
And soon I'll be off your property.
320
00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:57,410
Zoe! It would have been a lot easier
just to talk about our fight. You're
321
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:58,410
so childish.
322
00:17:58,530 --> 00:17:59,530
Like you're not?
323
00:18:00,590 --> 00:18:01,590
Oh, Mom!
324
00:18:02,270 --> 00:18:04,250
Well, I have a pig.
325
00:18:08,370 --> 00:18:10,070
Mom, you were right.
326
00:18:10,330 --> 00:18:11,470
We do need to talk.
327
00:18:12,010 --> 00:18:14,650
Good. Come on. Come here and sit down.
I'm all yours.
328
00:18:15,950 --> 00:18:22,610
Well, Mother Sheridan, as you know, I
was denied tenure, and I was expecting
329
00:18:22,610 --> 00:18:24,470
they'd give me at least a year. Kevin
got laid off. He's unemployed.
330
00:18:26,250 --> 00:18:27,650
Oh, no, Kevin.
331
00:18:28,370 --> 00:18:31,570
Well, as you can imagine, this is a
vulnerable time.
332
00:18:32,470 --> 00:18:37,190
You know, I don't think my self -esteem
could get any lower, but... Dibble, your
333
00:18:37,190 --> 00:18:39,910
pig is in the kitchen taking a dump.
334
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:51,180
Rachel, at least I've learned how to get
your mother's attention.
335
00:18:52,780 --> 00:18:53,780
Marianne.
336
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:55,220
Oh, gross.
337
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,120
Why didn't you tell me it was right
here?
338
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:03,120
Boy, that Corinthian leather goes right
through you.
339
00:19:28,940 --> 00:19:29,940
Muddy Canyon.
340
00:20:05,909 --> 00:20:08,890
Who would pay to stand around a pit and
watch us do that?
341
00:20:10,750 --> 00:20:13,450
All I wanted from the 7 -Eleven guy was
a couple of diapers.
342
00:20:14,150 --> 00:20:16,490
He didn't have to tell me how ugly my
baby was.
343
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:20,610
By the way, I love what Jose did with
your hair.
344
00:20:21,290 --> 00:20:23,150
There goes a couple hundred bucks,
but...
345
00:20:34,570 --> 00:20:35,870
I was worried sick about you.
346
00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:37,610
What does it matter?
347
00:20:38,190 --> 00:20:41,150
When you were in Europe, I could have
been chasing livestock every night and
348
00:20:41,150 --> 00:20:42,150
wouldn't have even known it.
349
00:20:44,270 --> 00:20:45,270
Zoe,
350
00:20:48,510 --> 00:20:51,930
I think you're right. You have grown up
a lot.
351
00:20:52,350 --> 00:20:54,070
I mean, you graduated from high school.
352
00:20:54,650 --> 00:20:56,350
You went all over Europe by yourself.
353
00:20:58,070 --> 00:21:00,430
You even managed to get cable out on the
patio.
354
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:05,540
You don't have to move out. We'll figure
out the new boundaries together.
355
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:08,500
Thanks, Mom. That means a lot to me.
356
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:11,060
I think we're going to be fine together.
357
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:13,040
Oh, Zoe.
358
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:15,280
Because, Mom?
359
00:21:15,780 --> 00:21:16,780
Yeah?
360
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,580
It's still time for me to move out.
361
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:21,680
Oh.
362
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:26,100
I got a job as a tour guide at Universal
Studios.
363
00:21:27,780 --> 00:21:30,120
Nina and I are going to look for an
apartment on Saturday.
364
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:35,780
Well, good luck finding one with
ceilings this high.
365
00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:40,680
What do you think? You going to be okay
living in your room?
366
00:21:40,940 --> 00:21:42,120
I'm going to miss you.
367
00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:45,340
Maybe I'll rent your room out.
368
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:48,300
Hey, aren't you and Nina looking for a
place?
369
00:21:52,940 --> 00:21:55,020
Isn't that cute?
370
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:58,620
You're not really going to keep that
muddy thing as a pet, are you?
371
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:04,140
I don't see why not she's here all the
time anyway
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