All language subtitles for benny_hill_ex12_ernie_fastest_milkman_in_the_west

You could hear the off -beats pound as
they raced across the ground, and the

clatter of the wheels as they spun round
and round.

And he galloped into Market Street, his
badge upon his chest. His name was

Ernie, and he drove the fastest milk
cart in the West.

Now Ernie loved a widow, a lady known as
Sue. She lived all alone in Lindley

Lane at number 22.

They said she was too good for him. She
was old, proud, and chic.

But Ernie got his cocoa there three
times every week. They called him Ernie.

Ernie! And he drove the fastest milk
cart in the West.

She said she liked the bathing milk. He
said, all right, sweetheart.

And when he finished work one night, he
loaded up the cart.

He said, you want it pasteurized,
because pasteurized is best. She says,

I'll be happy if it comes up to me
chest.

That tickled old Ernie.

And he drove the fastest nook car in the
West.

Now, Ernie had a rival, an evil -looking
man, called Two -Tongued Ted from

Teddington, and he drove the baker's
van.

He tempted her with his treacle tarts
and his tasty oatmeal bread, and when

seen the size of his hot meat pies, it
very near turned her head.

She nearly swooned at his macaroon, and
he said, Now, if you treat me right.

You'll have hot rolls every morning and
crumpets every night. He knew once he

stumbled his layer cake, he'd have his
wig in way.

And all Ernie had to offer was a pint of
milk a day.

Poor Ernie.

Ernie! And he drove the fastest milk
cart in the West.

One lunchtime take saw Ernie's awesome
cart outside her door.

He drove him mad to point it was still
there at half past four.

And as he leapt down from his van off
blood to his van's course, and he went

across to Ernie's cart and he didn't
half kick his horse, whose name was

Trigger. Trigger!

And he pulled the bastard's milk cart in
the west.

Now Ernie rushed out into the street,
his gold top in his hands.

He said, if you want to marry Susie, you
fight for her like a man.

Oh, why don't we play cards for her, he
sneeringly replied.

And just to make it interesting, we'll
have a shilling on the side.

Now Ernie dragged him from his van, and
beneath the blazing sun, they stood

there face to face, and Ted went for his
bun.

But Ernie was too quick. Things didn't
go the way Ted planned, and a strawberry

-flavored yogurt sent it spinning from
his hands.

As soon as she ran between them and
tried to keep them apart.

And Ernie pushed her aside and a rock
cake caught him under his eyes.

And he looked up in pain, surprised in
the concrete ardent crust of a beltwood

pie caught him in the eye. And Ernie bit
the dust.

Poor Ernie.

Ernie! And he drove the bastard milk
cart in the west.

Ernie was only 52.

He didn't want to die.

But now he's gone to make deliveries in
that milk round in the sky, where the

customers are angels and ferocious dogs
are banned, and a milkman's life is full

of fun in that fairy dairy land.

But a woman's needs are manifold, and so
she married Ted.

But strange things happened on their
wedding night as they lay in their bed.

Was that the trees a -rustling, or the
hinges of the gate?

Or Ernie's ghostly gold tops are
rattling in their crate.

They won't forget Ernie.

Ernie! And he drove the fastest milk
cart in the West.