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Well, thank you very much to me.
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Thank you very much.
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00:00:20,950 --> 00:00:21,970
Thank you so much.
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00:00:22,470 --> 00:00:28,430
Well, ladies and gentlemen, once again,
it's time to beat time for the big time
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00:00:28,430 --> 00:00:32,130
prizes. And it only remains for Mrs.
Jogle of Southampton to do the word
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00:00:32,270 --> 00:00:36,510
So here is our lovely and glamorous
hostess, Yvonne, with Mrs. Jogle of
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00:00:36,510 --> 00:00:37,510
Southampton.
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Oh, that's wonderful.
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You're going to have a lot of fun with
each other.
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00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:46,100
It really is wonderful to have you here.
Thank you, Yvonne. Well, Mrs. Jogle of
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00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:47,640
Southampton, if you'd just come over
here.
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You have only to do the word game now.
Would you open the curtains, please?
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00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:55,360
And you have to make a well -known
phrase or saying, and you have 50
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00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:56,780
beat the clock, starting from now.
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00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:58,700
A well -known phrase or saying.
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00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:00,580
That's it. You're getting it, yes?
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You're getting there, yes?
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00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:04,680
Well done!
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00:01:09,230 --> 00:01:12,070
Very much indeed, ladies and gentlemen.
Jolly nice to be with you once again. Of
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course, when you're doing a show like
this for one night only, you really
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00:01:15,670 --> 00:01:18,650
get the polish that you get with a show
that's on, say, five nights a week.
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00:01:19,470 --> 00:01:20,470
Regularly.
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Children's own art exhibition.
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Old age pension is evicted for not
paying their rent. But first of all,
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-German friendship.
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00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:12,680
Ladies and gentlemen, praise St.
Lawrence for your chairman, Brigadier J
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Windpipe, R .N .V .R.
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Friends.
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00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:28,560
Friends.
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I won't call you ladies and gentlemen
because I know you so well.
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Very good, sir, very good.
32
00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:46,680
But to be serious, the time has come for
us to ask ourselves some heart
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00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:47,680
-searching questions.
34
00:02:48,740 --> 00:02:53,060
Are we any worse off now than we were
before the war?
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Yes, it's a difficult question, but the
answer is, of course, no.
36
00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:03,780
It's another clear we are better off.
37
00:03:04,490 --> 00:03:06,710
But are we any better off spiritually?
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I know you must answer yes.
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00:03:11,410 --> 00:03:12,630
We are not.
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00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:18,330
But do we blame our German cousins for
this lack of spirit?
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00:03:18,910 --> 00:03:20,770
Of course we do.
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00:03:22,610 --> 00:03:26,890
Well, let us go forward with our German
friends.
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Let us be firm, but understanding.
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00:03:31,750 --> 00:03:32,930
Let us...
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Be strong, but compassionate.
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But above all, let us be consanguine for
the stupid.
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00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:50,260
No, no, I never took a prisoner.
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I could have taken a German prisoner,
but I didn't, and he was an officer.
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00:03:54,220 --> 00:03:56,080
He was only a little chap, but I let him
go.
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00:03:56,480 --> 00:04:00,420
Well, I said to myself, what difference
is it going to make to the war if one
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man is incarcerated?
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yes it won't make any difference at all
so I'll let him go and I shall never
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forget the look of gratitude in his eyes
you could hardly see his eyes actually
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00:04:14,290 --> 00:04:19,050
he had a lock of black hair coming down
covering him and a little black
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00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:24,350
toothbrush moustache he looked a little
bit like Charlie Chaplin but there good
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00:04:24,350 --> 00:04:28,890
luck to him I say off you go I said I
say Fritz how about playing thank you
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00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:38,080
The only... Yes.
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00:04:40,620 --> 00:04:41,620
Yes.
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Buckingham Palace.
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An imposing sight in the early morning
sunlight.
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Here we see Her Majesty the Queen and
Prince Philip.
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More than 30 ,000 people turned out to
see them and to cheer them on their way.
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00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:02,280
Truly one of the most magnificent
spectacles in the royal year, as the
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00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:03,980
filling in regal splendour.
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00:05:11,780 --> 00:05:17,420
The lapidated terrace house is just 17
shillings and sixpence per week. But
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00:05:17,420 --> 00:05:19,620
that is too much for the two old -age
pensioners.
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00:05:20,460 --> 00:05:21,840
But then it was home.
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00:05:22,140 --> 00:05:25,320
The Dimpton -on -Sea Urban Council is
just another eviction order.
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00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:27,160
Isn't it time local councils...
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00:05:27,580 --> 00:05:30,900
used a little understanding and spared
us the spectacle of witnessing pitiful
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00:05:30,900 --> 00:05:31,960
sights such as these.
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00:05:32,180 --> 00:05:36,460
Two inoffensive elderly people kicked
out of their home, making their way who
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knows where by the only means of
transport that they can afford.
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00:05:43,140 --> 00:05:48,100
The Rembrandts and Van Goghs of tomorrow
hold their art exhibition today.
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00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:56,500
Believe it or not, it was painted by a
child of eight, Peter Durham from
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00:05:56,500 --> 00:05:59,620
Dimpton. It's quite remarkable, isn't
it, for one so young?
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00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:04,200
Well, one dedicated little painter is
still painting away here.
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00:06:08,140 --> 00:06:11,100
Now, let's see what you've been up to.
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00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:20,120
It is a lady.
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00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:34,680
She have no dress, no shoes, no
stockings, no
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00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:35,680
knickers.
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She have no clothes and it is a lady.
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00:06:42,940 --> 00:06:44,760
And a gentleman.
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00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:51,460
He is a knackhead.
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00:06:52,340 --> 00:06:54,620
They are both knackheads.
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00:06:56,910 --> 00:06:59,310
He's very fond of the lady.
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00:07:00,330 --> 00:07:01,650
So he is.
88
00:07:04,070 --> 00:07:06,450
And, uh, what's your name?
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00:07:06,830 --> 00:07:08,050
Rodin, madame.
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00:07:08,550 --> 00:07:09,950
Gaston Rodin.
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00:07:12,210 --> 00:07:14,330
24 hours, Monday night.
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00:07:18,130 --> 00:07:19,150
Okay, Chris.
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00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:21,370
What stupid...
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00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:32,940
Ladies and gentlemen, during the past
few years, Great Britain has produced
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00:07:32,940 --> 00:07:34,640
fine young film directors.
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00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:38,360
Men like Christopher Borman and John
Miles have already made their mark.
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00:07:38,580 --> 00:07:41,660
But with me in the studio now is perhaps
the most brilliant of our up -and
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00:07:41,660 --> 00:07:44,260
-coming young directors, Mr. Freddie
Scuttle.
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00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:45,700
Good evening, sir.
100
00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:48,660
Good evening, Mr. Scuttle. Good evening,
viewers and cinema -goers.
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00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:53,300
Mr. Scuttle, you are described as the
most brilliant of our young directors.
102
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:54,740
Yes, I'm 23, sir.
103
00:07:55,780 --> 00:07:58,280
You look considerably older. I worry a
lot.
104
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:04,000
well Mr Scuttle you've been quoted as
saying that the current crop of British
105
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:07,740
films falls roughly into two different
categories two categories yes on the one
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00:08:07,740 --> 00:08:11,420
hand there are the way out films and on
the other the with it films two
107
00:08:11,420 --> 00:08:18,320
categories sir yes well what's the
difference that's why I say so who cares
108
00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:21,980
Scuttle let me put it another way put it
whichever way you like sir it's
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00:08:21,980 --> 00:08:27,400
entirely up to you sir Well, take your
latest film, Mr. Scuttle. Would you say
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00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:31,000
that was a way -out film or a with -it
film? A way -out film, sir. And that is
111
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:33,740
not just my opinion, sir. That is the
opinion of the cricket, sir.
112
00:08:34,460 --> 00:08:37,000
They come to the press show the second
it was on the screen, sir.
113
00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:38,440
Way -out, they said.
114
00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:39,720
Where's the way -out?
115
00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:42,260
You will see, sir.
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00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:47,120
Well, take the current crop of spy
films, like the James Bond series. James
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00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:50,600
Bond, yes. Well, now, would you say
James Bond was way -out? Oh, no, sir.
118
00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:55,190
no. Some of them well -rounded actresses
he works with, sir, that might be
119
00:08:55,190 --> 00:08:58,270
described as being way out, sir. You see
my point, sir?
120
00:08:59,030 --> 00:09:04,530
So you'd say James Bond was with it? I
should think he's never without it.
121
00:09:09,590 --> 00:09:11,090
Not that I'm jealous, sir.
122
00:09:11,850 --> 00:09:13,770
Just envious, that's all.
123
00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:18,260
Well, Mr Scuttle, tell us a little bit
about your latest film. Ah, it's what we
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00:09:18,260 --> 00:09:24,460
in the trade, sir, call a novel vague
film, you see. A novel vague film? It's
125
00:09:24,460 --> 00:09:25,720
based on a vague novel.
126
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:31,360
And it's called The Knock, sir. And it
won the Film Festival Prize, sir.
127
00:09:31,660 --> 00:09:35,840
But The Knack has already been made.
That won the Cannes Film Festival Prize.
128
00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:39,160
don't know about that, sir. We won the
Film Festival Prize, sir. Yes, yes.
129
00:09:39,220 --> 00:09:40,940
at Cannes? No, Chipping Sodbury, sir.
130
00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:46,080
We had a lovely festival. So all the big
continental directors were invited.
131
00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:47,580
The truffles were invited, sir.
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00:09:48,540 --> 00:09:51,340
Felinit. Ingmar Bergman. Her as well,
yes.
133
00:09:51,900 --> 00:09:57,180
And the Italian one, Antony Honion, was
invited, sir. Antony Honion?
134
00:09:57,380 --> 00:09:59,840
Yeah, Antony. No, Mr. Scuttle, you mean
Antonioni.
135
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:01,800
Yeah, Antonioni.
136
00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:02,999
Yeah, yeah.
137
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:06,020
I was going to write to him to tell him
it was a little bit difficult. Yes, I
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00:10:06,020 --> 00:10:08,340
think I know what it is. You can't spell
Antonioni.
139
00:10:08,580 --> 00:10:10,360
I can spell it, sir. I just don't know
when to stop.
140
00:10:12,439 --> 00:10:16,040
Mr. Scuttle, who's starring in your
latest picture? My latest discovery,
141
00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:18,500
Mean, moody, magnificent Mervyn Twitt.
142
00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:23,740
Yes, I remember from your latest press
handout Arva Gardner describing him as
143
00:10:23,740 --> 00:10:25,300
tall, dark and handsome.
144
00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:28,860
Yes. Well, either that, sir, or tall and
in the dark handsome.
145
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:30,760
I'm not too sure, sir.
146
00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:35,000
Viewers will be able to judge for
themselves because we're now going to
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00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:38,280
a short excerpt from Mr. Scuttle's
latest film, The Knock.
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00:10:58,220 --> 00:11:03,340
Yes, this is my story exactly as it
happened. I was 30 years old and was
149
00:11:03,340 --> 00:11:05,680
considered by my several friends to be
quite nice looking.
150
00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:13,020
But even so, I'd never had any success
with the opposite lot.
151
00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:16,600
It was that nice Miss Perelman at the
dancing class.
152
00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:21,880
Somehow she just hardly seemed to notice
me.
153
00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:02,200
And then on my milk round there was that
nice blonde lady, number 27A.
154
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:04,760
The one with all the capsules of
Pokeball.
155
00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:44,850
seemed to go wrong.
156
00:12:44,970 --> 00:12:50,010
Then one day, into my life, came
Barbara.
157
00:12:51,830 --> 00:12:55,590
The most beautiful creature I'd ever
seen. She had the face and figure of a
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00:12:55,590 --> 00:12:59,650
lovely young girl with the deep
understanding eyes of a deeply sensuous,
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00:12:59,650 --> 00:13:00,650
-blown woman.
160
00:13:11,470 --> 00:13:14,230
From that moment on, I knew my life
would never be the same again.
161
00:15:29,740 --> 00:15:33,380
I would never be happy if I had made
Barbara my wife.
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00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:52,580
Being married to Barbara was like a
dream come true.
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00:15:58,250 --> 00:16:00,770
Never knew such happiness existed
before.
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00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:48,080
was made for each other. We had so much
in common.
165
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:28,220
Then, two years after our wedding,
something happened.
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00:17:28,940 --> 00:17:30,100
Chained all that.
167
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:27,600
Exactly as it happened.
168
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:53,660
Good evening. Well, tonight...
Sportsview looks to the future,
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00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,740
to the Olympic Games in Rome in 1960.
170
00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:01,300
In the last Olympic Games, Great Britain
achieved an outstanding success in the
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00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:02,300
show jumping events.
172
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:03,600
But what of the future?
173
00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:08,020
Peter Vernon went out last week to the
Brodie Stables at Letchworth to
174
00:20:08,020 --> 00:20:11,060
that fine British horsewoman, Mrs. Emily
Biscuit.
175
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,000
Mrs. Biscuit?
176
00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:15,960
Mrs. Biscuit?
177
00:20:16,180 --> 00:20:17,900
Hello, can I help you? Hello,
178
00:20:19,460 --> 00:20:20,560
Mrs. Biscuit there.
179
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:23,640
I know you must be frightfully busy, but
I wonder if you could spare a few
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00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,220
minutes to tell the viewers a little
about yourself.
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00:20:25,540 --> 00:20:27,640
Well, I'm afraid I've got a filthy
habit.
182
00:20:28,700 --> 00:20:29,539
Yes, yes.
183
00:20:29,540 --> 00:20:30,459
And what's that?
184
00:20:30,460 --> 00:20:35,480
This one I'm wearing now. I just used it
for... Don't worry about that. Now,
185
00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:38,300
tell me to begin with, Mrs. Biscuit, how
long have you been showjumping?
186
00:20:38,500 --> 00:20:41,740
I have been showjumping since I was 17
years of age.
187
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:44,280
That would be about eight years ago.
188
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:46,960
Yes, quite, quite, eight years.
189
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:51,360
And how many hours riding and jumping do
you put in per day?
190
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:53,440
I would say about ten hours a day.
191
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:57,360
All those hours bouncing about on a
horse, doesn't it give you a headache?
192
00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,080
No, quite the reverse.
193
00:21:01,540 --> 00:21:03,360
It's inclined to give the horse a
headache.
194
00:21:04,980 --> 00:21:09,440
Now, this horse you're taking with you
is going to the Olympic Games. My pal.
195
00:21:09,740 --> 00:21:10,279
My pal?
196
00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:12,480
Is that him in there? He's in there, my
pal. Hello, my pal.
197
00:21:12,780 --> 00:21:15,760
That's his name, my pal. Do you ever get
tempted to call him my pal Bob?
198
00:21:16,580 --> 00:21:17,580
Oh, heaven, no.
199
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:21,200
I couldn't very well call him my pal
Bob, could I? I mean, he doesn't look a
200
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:23,400
like Bob, but he does a little, doesn't
he?
201
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:26,400
You may go after him, of course, don't
you?
202
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:30,240
Now, Mrs. Biscuit, during these eight
years that you've been writing and
203
00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:32,540
showjumping, you must have won an awful
lot of trophies.
204
00:21:32,780 --> 00:21:38,180
Oh, I've won a lot of awful trophies. I
have, really. I have 12 statuettes.
205
00:21:39,230 --> 00:21:45,770
24 medals and a shield inscribed for the
fastest mare in Surrey. Have you ever
206
00:21:45,770 --> 00:21:46,770
won a loving cup?
207
00:21:46,930 --> 00:21:48,770
Well, I've never been in for that sort
of competition.
208
00:21:51,290 --> 00:21:54,550
Well, now, Mrs. Whiskey, have you any
advice you'd like to give to girls who
209
00:21:54,550 --> 00:21:55,549
in for show jumping?
210
00:21:55,550 --> 00:21:59,970
I mean, what's the most important thing?
Well, I would say, without a doubt, the
211
00:21:59,970 --> 00:22:01,390
most important thing to have is a horse.
212
00:22:03,150 --> 00:22:05,130
I mean, otherwise, there's very high
fences.
213
00:22:07,570 --> 00:22:11,450
I really meant apart from that. Oh,
well, I would say, I usually find when
214
00:22:11,450 --> 00:22:14,070
showjumping, the first thing the judges
look at is my feet.
215
00:22:14,790 --> 00:22:19,430
Because when I ride, I ride just as if I
were part of the horse. I don't really.
216
00:22:19,730 --> 00:22:21,190
Wouldn't do to say which part though,
would you?
217
00:22:23,230 --> 00:22:26,770
Well, I'm quite sure there must be a lot
of horse lovers viewing tonight.
218
00:22:26,990 --> 00:22:30,630
Yes. So I wonder if we could coach my
pal out for a minute or so. Well, I...
219
00:22:30,940 --> 00:22:34,400
I'm terribly sorry, really, because, you
see, he's not terribly well. I was just
220
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,100
about to give him his horse pill, wasn't
I?
221
00:22:36,300 --> 00:22:38,840
Oh, really? I say that's most
interesting. This one here.
222
00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:41,820
Oh, now, tell me, how exactly is the
pill administered?
223
00:22:42,260 --> 00:22:43,660
Well, with the aid of this tube.
224
00:22:44,140 --> 00:22:47,860
Oh. You see, you place one end in the
horse's mouth and the other end, and you
225
00:22:47,860 --> 00:22:49,460
put the pill in there, you see, and you
blow.
226
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:51,380
Come on, my pal. Come along.
227
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:53,500
Open your mouth. There's a good horse.
There we are. Ready, steady.
228
00:22:57,180 --> 00:22:58,400
I'm afraid he blew first.
229
00:23:00,540 --> 00:23:01,540
Most unfortunately.
230
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:06,180
It doesn't matter. Of course, it doesn't
have any... My taking that has no
231
00:23:06,180 --> 00:23:07,800
effect at all on my health.
232
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:11,440
I'm pleased to hear that.
233
00:23:11,980 --> 00:23:14,220
I'd love to see you talking to me, but
I'm afraid I've got an awful lot of
234
00:23:14,220 --> 00:23:16,840
things to do, you know. Cleaning out all
the stables and that, and the work just
235
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:21,220
keeps piling up, you know, if you don't
really... I don't understand.
236
00:23:21,420 --> 00:23:24,820
I'd love to. I quite understand, Mrs.
Fitzgibbon. Thank you very much. We'll
237
00:23:24,820 --> 00:23:28,490
goodbye. Well, just before you go, I
will try and get... my bell just to say
238
00:23:28,490 --> 00:23:30,450
-bye. Would you? I shall have to coach
him, though.
239
00:23:31,470 --> 00:23:34,150
I shall have to give him something to
eat. He's very fond of his oats, you
240
00:23:34,310 --> 00:23:35,310
Come along, then.
241
00:23:35,370 --> 00:23:36,790
Come along, my bell. Say bye -bye.
242
00:23:37,030 --> 00:23:38,030
Say bye -bye!
243
00:24:00,170 --> 00:24:02,350
Welcome to another edition of Soapbox
Jury.
244
00:24:02,790 --> 00:24:04,970
And let's see who we have on tonight's
panel, shall we?
245
00:24:06,010 --> 00:24:07,610
Fred Curry, disc jockey.
246
00:24:08,030 --> 00:24:09,030
Hello there.
247
00:24:10,090 --> 00:24:12,190
Lisa Gasol, mater film star.
248
00:24:12,730 --> 00:24:14,090
Good evening.
249
00:24:15,030 --> 00:24:16,190
Lady Edgware.
250
00:24:17,290 --> 00:24:18,290
Lady.
251
00:24:18,710 --> 00:24:21,410
And finally, Ted Grumble, film actor.
252
00:24:22,070 --> 00:24:23,070
Hello.
253
00:24:23,870 --> 00:24:25,770
Well, now, let's see what they think of
this one.
254
00:26:24,449 --> 00:26:25,449
Very interesting.
255
00:26:25,690 --> 00:26:32,090
Well, I liked it. It was gay, it was
vivacious, and it had the most wonderful
256
00:26:32,090 --> 00:26:33,890
beat going all the time there.
257
00:26:34,150 --> 00:26:38,170
I really thought it was awfully nice.
Personally, I prefer my tunes a little
258
00:26:38,170 --> 00:26:40,430
more, if you'll pardon the expression,
robust.
259
00:26:41,110 --> 00:26:42,450
Oh, you mean like Max and I?
260
00:26:42,690 --> 00:26:45,050
Yes, like the sort of tunes he sings,
yes.
261
00:26:46,050 --> 00:26:49,390
And of course, the teenagers seem to
like it out there, and they're the ones
262
00:26:49,390 --> 00:26:52,150
that will buy it, of course. You see,
mind you, of course...
263
00:26:52,380 --> 00:26:54,800
I left my teens way back in 1957,
264
00:26:55,560 --> 00:27:00,140
but I can't say for sure, but I do think
it'll go up. I think it's awfully gay.
265
00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:01,240
I do really think, yes.
266
00:27:02,140 --> 00:27:03,140
Ted Trumbull.
267
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,540
Well, I found it most exciting.
268
00:27:08,740 --> 00:27:14,920
I mean, I think it had a wonderful beat
and a wonderful backing, and I think
269
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:17,240
it'll go up. It's so, so exciting.
270
00:27:19,220 --> 00:27:20,220
Fred Carey.
271
00:27:22,060 --> 00:27:26,280
I really did. Although I felt that the
introductory passage, that it'll run up
272
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:31,500
on the piano, or as we in the business
call it, an archipelago, was reminiscent
273
00:27:31,500 --> 00:27:36,840
of a track from the LP Elsie and Doris
Waters in Las Vegas. I rather felt that.
274
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:41,140
And I do feel that this group owes an
awful lot to Wingy Manone, Mugsy
275
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:47,200
Jelly Roll Morton, Victor Sylvester, to
say nothing of Edmund O 'Ross, the Irish
276
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:51,600
bandleader. But I would hazard a guess
and say this will not go into the top 20
277
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:54,220
until the second week in April when it
will go in at number 16.
278
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,720
And the week afterwards, of course, it
will go to number 12. And the week after
279
00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:00,860
that, of course, it will leave the top
20. Of course, it's only a guess. You
280
00:28:00,860 --> 00:28:01,980
know, I could be wrong.
281
00:28:03,340 --> 00:28:04,340
Please, the gasometer.
282
00:28:04,860 --> 00:28:07,280
Well, I liked it. I thought it was nice.
283
00:28:09,620 --> 00:28:11,160
I like the back end.
284
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:14,220
And the front end.
285
00:28:16,020 --> 00:28:17,620
The two side end.
286
00:28:19,020 --> 00:28:22,960
And, um, I like that banjo and all the
twiddly bits.
287
00:28:23,780 --> 00:28:25,100
Or was it a trombone?
288
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:31,480
Well, I like the rhythm in that. I liked
it, I liked it.
289
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:32,980
But do you think it'll go up?
290
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:35,000
Up where?
291
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:36,800
The gym.
292
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:40,780
Well, if enough people buy it, it will.
That's obvious, isn't it?
293
00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:45,440
Right, now, well, let's see how our jury
are going to vote on this one.
294
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:53,860
Well, they don't seem to be able to make
up their minds, so we ask our audience
295
00:28:53,860 --> 00:28:54,860
judges what they think.
296
00:29:02,500 --> 00:29:03,660
Have they voted, sir?
297
00:29:04,900 --> 00:29:07,080
Oops. That was a noisy one, wasn't it?
298
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:09,280
Excuse me.
299
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:10,560
Hello?
300
00:29:10,780 --> 00:29:11,780
Yes?
301
00:29:11,940 --> 00:29:12,940
Oh.
302
00:29:13,420 --> 00:29:16,800
Well, it would seem that several viewers
have phoned up and said that Miss
303
00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:19,380
Gasolmas looks like she hasn't got her
dress on on the screen.
304
00:29:20,090 --> 00:29:21,450
Would you mind standing up, Lisa?
305
00:29:27,830 --> 00:29:29,970
See? Really, you're mine.
306
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:54,199
with you once again.
307
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:58,840
You know, since our last show, there has
opened in London a brand new club, and
308
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:04,660
this club is designed to cater to
playboys and would -be playboys. So we
309
00:30:04,660 --> 00:30:08,300
the right person to go along and
investigate was our old friend, Jeremy
310
00:30:15,420 --> 00:30:19,820
Thank you very much. Good evening. Well,
Scuttle's Fun Boy Club, according to
311
00:30:19,820 --> 00:30:25,340
the press handout, is, and I quote,
Britain's answer to the Geisha Houses, a
312
00:30:25,340 --> 00:30:30,600
temple of feminine pulchritude and
beauty, and the tired businessman's
313
00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:31,600
paradise.
314
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:37,600
Well, let's find out a little more about
it from Mr. Fred Scuttle himself.
315
00:30:38,060 --> 00:30:39,060
Good evening, sir.
316
00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:40,280
Good evening, viewers.
317
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:44,140
Good evening, Mr. Scuttle. Welcome to
Scuttle's Glamorous Fun Boy Club. Thank
318
00:30:44,140 --> 00:30:46,200
you. Well, now, Mr. Scuttle, I believe
your members...
319
00:30:46,510 --> 00:30:50,170
Your members are waited on by very
beautiful waitresses. We do not call
320
00:30:50,170 --> 00:30:53,770
waitresses, sir. They are not dressed as
waitresses. They are dressed as cuddly
321
00:30:53,770 --> 00:30:55,030
little teddy bears, sir.
322
00:30:56,570 --> 00:30:57,970
More bear than teddy.
323
00:30:59,610 --> 00:31:02,370
Well, now, how many of these girls do
you employ?
324
00:31:02,690 --> 00:31:04,390
At the moment, just the two, sir.
325
00:31:04,670 --> 00:31:05,609
Only two?
326
00:31:05,610 --> 00:31:06,770
The wife and her mother.
327
00:31:08,270 --> 00:31:10,230
But we are open to expunge.
328
00:31:10,740 --> 00:31:12,100
And what about the amenities?
329
00:31:12,500 --> 00:31:13,800
Oh, we've got one each of those, sir.
330
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:18,360
And we have a restaurant, sir, and a
bar, sir. You can go get a drink. I have
331
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:21,540
vermouth with an olive in it, sir, or a
vermouth with a cherry in it, sir.
332
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:24,540
If you like, you can have a fine and
mild and bitter with a pickled onion in
333
00:31:24,620 --> 00:31:25,620
sir.
334
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:28,800
And I suppose if a man feels like it, he
could linger in the bar with something
335
00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:30,560
long and cold and full of vodka.
336
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:32,640
No, I don't allow the wife in the bar.
337
00:31:34,220 --> 00:31:38,140
Tell me, Mr. Scuttle, what other
attractions does the club have to offer?
338
00:31:38,380 --> 00:31:41,060
Oh, we have a drive -in movie, sir. A
drive -in movie?
339
00:31:41,300 --> 00:31:48,180
What we call wall -to -wall carpeting,
sir. And then... We have couple fun
340
00:31:48,180 --> 00:31:51,420
-boy packaged holidays, sir. Holidays at
popular prices.
341
00:31:51,780 --> 00:31:54,860
Ah. Well, now, could you give us an
example of one of these popular -priced
342
00:31:54,860 --> 00:31:55,860
holidays? Certainly, sir.
343
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:58,880
Four fun -filled days in sunny Clapton.
344
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:00,580
Ninety -eight guineas.
345
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:05,580
98 guineas? Yes, sir. Well, that's not a
popular price.
346
00:32:05,820 --> 00:32:06,820
I like it, sir.
347
00:32:08,060 --> 00:32:09,620
Have you anything a little cheaper?
348
00:32:09,860 --> 00:32:12,840
Oh, you're from the BBC, aren't you?
Yes. With a hired suit?
349
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:14,100
I should have known, sir.
350
00:32:14,780 --> 00:32:15,780
Oh,
351
00:32:16,620 --> 00:32:20,280
yes, the cheaper ones, yes, sir. Well,
sir, there it is. You see, yes, for
352
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:24,520
members only, sir. Because after
investigation, I have found out, sir,
353
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:30,000
securing the services of an ex -army
surplus Dutch bulb barge... You see?
354
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:37,480
night -rate tourist -class economy goods
train and a fleet of fast -moving, look
355
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:44,480
-starved dromedaries, I can get a man
into outer Mongolia for 15 guineas
356
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:47,060
and still show a profit.
357
00:32:48,020 --> 00:32:51,280
15 guineas? I must say, that's
remarkable, Mr. Cutler. Do they enjoy
358
00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:52,640
We've never found out, sir.
359
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:54,900
We've never had one come back, sir.
360
00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:58,200
It was like it, wasn't it, sir? Mr.
Cutler, aren't you worried about
361
00:32:58,200 --> 00:32:58,819
them back?
362
00:32:58,820 --> 00:32:59,860
No, they pay in advance.
363
00:33:01,130 --> 00:33:03,610
You see, sir, yes. But we're wasting
time out here, sir.
364
00:33:03,850 --> 00:33:06,010
We are digressing. Would you like to
become a member?
365
00:33:06,230 --> 00:33:09,370
I would very much, yes. I will get your
cuddly little teddy bear.
366
00:33:09,630 --> 00:33:11,550
Sandra! She's just coming, sir.
367
00:33:11,750 --> 00:33:13,590
Thank you. You are going to have some
fun tonight.
368
00:33:13,970 --> 00:33:17,930
Here she goes.
369
00:33:18,770 --> 00:33:23,370
You see, sir, she will serve you drinks.
She will twist with you. But remember,
370
00:33:23,610 --> 00:33:24,610
no touching.
371
00:33:24,750 --> 00:33:26,830
I promise you I have no intention of
molesting her.
372
00:33:28,010 --> 00:33:30,410
I'm not talking to you, sir. I'm talking
to her. No touching.
373
00:33:31,110 --> 00:33:34,210
I think it's a bit unbefitting of me.
I've just noticed the time, Mr.
374
00:33:34,310 --> 00:33:37,730
Cunningham. I really can't stay. One
moment, sir. The cabaret is about to
375
00:33:37,810 --> 00:33:40,070
sir. A striptease cabaret, sir.
376
00:33:40,290 --> 00:33:41,290
Oh, well.
377
00:33:41,470 --> 00:33:44,830
Beauty on a dawn. You know, I mean, sir,
all the wiggles and the squiggles, you
378
00:33:44,830 --> 00:33:47,730
know. You'll like it. There we are. I'm
sure I will, Mr. Cunningham. Oh, you'll
379
00:33:47,730 --> 00:33:49,990
like our little stripper, sir. I bet I
will.
380
00:33:50,890 --> 00:33:51,950
It's not her, is it?
381
00:33:53,260 --> 00:33:54,199
Heavens above.
382
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:55,820
Perfect. No, sir.
383
00:33:56,240 --> 00:34:00,300
Well, me? Take me clothes off in public?
No fair.
384
00:34:00,540 --> 00:34:05,540
I don't approve of it. No, love. Mind
you, your mother does it very well.
385
00:37:14,250 --> 00:37:17,710
You know, the BBC has often been
criticised for presenting far too many
386
00:37:17,710 --> 00:37:20,990
films. So tonight we're going to put
things right and present a film which
387
00:37:20,990 --> 00:37:26,490
only made three months ago. And it is J.
Arthur Klinker's very exciting The
388
00:37:26,490 --> 00:37:27,550
Stamp Collector.
389
00:38:07,150 --> 00:38:08,230
Why sit here, then?
390
00:38:08,470 --> 00:38:09,810
Rich yourself. It's a free country,
isn't it?
391
00:38:10,950 --> 00:38:12,110
Can I buy you a drink?
392
00:38:12,470 --> 00:38:16,030
Well, I don't know. I mean, I hardly
know you, do I? I mean, I'll have a
393
00:38:16,030 --> 00:38:17,030
port, please.
394
00:38:19,170 --> 00:38:20,450
Two ports, please.
395
00:38:23,790 --> 00:38:27,310
Well, I don't usually drink with strange
women, you know. I mean, one never
396
00:38:27,310 --> 00:38:28,810
knows where it might not lead to, does
one?
397
00:38:30,010 --> 00:38:31,390
Two ports. Thank you.
398
00:38:32,410 --> 00:38:33,410
Thank you.
399
00:38:33,930 --> 00:38:34,930
Keep the change.
400
00:38:35,230 --> 00:38:36,230
Oh, thanks very much.
401
00:38:44,060 --> 00:38:46,260
Oh, just look at that picture over
there.
402
00:38:46,940 --> 00:38:47,940
Isn't it lovely?
403
00:38:48,300 --> 00:38:49,300
Quite nasty.
404
00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:50,520
Do you think it's a constable?
405
00:38:50,740 --> 00:38:53,600
No, he looks more like a game warden the
way he's dressed, doesn't he?
406
00:39:00,860 --> 00:39:02,720
Mind you...
407
00:39:02,970 --> 00:39:05,590
I don't think it's quite as nice as that
picture over there. I think that one's
408
00:39:05,590 --> 00:39:06,930
got a lot more to commend it.
409
00:39:07,910 --> 00:39:08,910
Yes.
410
00:39:09,050 --> 00:39:12,690
That one is lovely, but it's not as
lovely as that one over there.
411
00:39:12,950 --> 00:39:14,650
Just look at the brushwork.
412
00:39:15,350 --> 00:39:16,350
I see.
413
00:39:19,770 --> 00:39:22,490
Major, I think the brushwork on that one
over there is just as nice.
414
00:39:23,150 --> 00:39:24,930
Yes. It is.
415
00:39:25,670 --> 00:39:30,430
But it's that one there. It's the detail
that's so superb.
416
00:39:31,410 --> 00:39:32,410
Yes.
417
00:39:35,780 --> 00:39:40,120
Mind you, I think the detail on that one
over there is even superber.
418
00:39:41,220 --> 00:39:43,000
Yes, I think you're right. Well, cheers.
419
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:46,999
Cheers, then.
420
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:48,000
Cheers.
421
00:40:34,060 --> 00:40:35,060
This is not my room.
422
00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:36,640
Where's Teddy?
423
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:41,860
This is not my bed.
424
00:40:46,580 --> 00:40:52,320
Is anybody there?
425
00:40:53,300 --> 00:40:54,480
Let me out, I say!
426
00:40:55,260 --> 00:40:56,260
Let me out!
427
00:40:56,940 --> 00:40:58,480
You mustn't keep me locked up.
428
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:00,360
I've got claustrophobia.
429
00:41:02,890 --> 00:41:03,890
Let me out.
430
00:41:04,550 --> 00:41:05,990
Help me, someone.
431
00:41:06,490 --> 00:41:07,490
Help me.
432
00:41:08,050 --> 00:41:11,630
Oh, please help me, someone. Please help
me.
433
00:41:12,230 --> 00:41:13,350
Help me.
434
00:41:13,710 --> 00:41:19,570
Help me. This room is so... So you won't
do any good by something.
435
00:41:19,950 --> 00:41:21,470
Well, I won't bother then. Here.
436
00:41:22,830 --> 00:41:24,290
Why have you brought me here?
437
00:41:24,890 --> 00:41:27,830
It's not to have any... to do any... to
have a bit...
438
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:36,480
Nothing like that, is it?
439
00:41:37,240 --> 00:41:38,920
I don't believe in that sort of thing.
440
00:41:39,900 --> 00:41:41,340
Well, not before marriage anyway.
441
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:44,280
And I'm none too sure about afterwards
either.
442
00:41:47,780 --> 00:41:49,300
Why have you brought me here?
443
00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:51,940
Well, I collect beautiful things.
444
00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:56,980
And you know, you really are terribly
handsome.
445
00:41:57,420 --> 00:41:58,420
I know.
446
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:02,080
But I mean, there's no reason to lock me
up, is there? And why pick on me? I
447
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:04,120
mean, there's plenty of other fellas
just as nicely...
448
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:05,800
Almost as nice looking as what I am.
449
00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:07,320
Why me?
450
00:42:07,740 --> 00:42:09,000
It's my hobby, you see.
451
00:42:10,100 --> 00:42:11,100
What is?
452
00:42:11,460 --> 00:42:14,300
Philanthropy. That'll get you nowhere
for a start, will it?
453
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:17,940
I've got a stymies tickle.
454
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:22,520
What do you want me to do about it?
455
00:42:23,540 --> 00:42:25,800
Would you like to see it? No, thank you
very much.
456
00:42:31,630 --> 00:42:33,350
If you don't mind, I should rather not
look.
457
00:42:35,070 --> 00:42:38,110
Oh, like stamp collecting. Oh, that's
all right. That's quite a nice hobby,
458
00:42:38,230 --> 00:42:40,170
that. Yes, but it's not enough.
459
00:42:41,450 --> 00:42:45,310
Don't you understand? I'm lonely. I'm so
terribly lonely.
460
00:42:45,850 --> 00:42:49,330
Well, I mean, don't carry on like that.
I mean, you know the old saying. I mean,
461
00:42:49,350 --> 00:42:53,170
for every man is a woman. I mean, you
can't complain about that, can you? I'm
462
00:42:53,170 --> 00:42:55,630
not complaining about it. I just want to
get in on it.
463
00:42:56,850 --> 00:42:59,070
Well, I mean, there's plenty of pebbles
on the beach.
464
00:42:59,470 --> 00:43:02,010
Then why don't you become a little
bolder?
465
00:43:04,270 --> 00:43:05,330
Look, I tell you what.
466
00:43:05,630 --> 00:43:06,930
Look, let's be chums.
467
00:43:07,210 --> 00:43:09,890
Look, I tell you what. If we are just
chums and you let me go, I'll go out
468
00:43:09,890 --> 00:43:12,790
you every Tuesday and Thursday. I
promise, honestly. We'll go out together
469
00:43:12,790 --> 00:43:14,030
Tuesday and Thursday. It's not enough.
470
00:43:14,610 --> 00:43:16,690
You mean you want to marry me? Yes.
471
00:43:17,330 --> 00:43:18,670
That's silly. That'd spoil everything.
472
00:43:19,210 --> 00:43:21,610
I mean, we'd have nowhere to go Tuesdays
and Thursdays, wouldn't we?
473
00:43:22,670 --> 00:43:26,130
Look, are you going to let me go or not?
You can't escape from here without the
474
00:43:26,130 --> 00:43:27,710
key. And I've got it.
475
00:43:27,930 --> 00:43:30,750
If you don't give me that key, I shall
come and take it off you by brute force.
476
00:43:30,970 --> 00:43:32,910
Will you? Yes, I will. No, I won't.
477
00:43:34,450 --> 00:43:37,350
Ah, but you've forgotten the telephone,
haven't you?
478
00:43:37,710 --> 00:43:38,710
Ah, yes.
479
00:43:38,990 --> 00:43:39,990
Police, nine.
480
00:43:40,670 --> 00:43:41,670
Nine.
481
00:43:41,890 --> 00:43:44,910
Nine, we'll soon see about that. Hello,
get me to police, please.
482
00:43:45,970 --> 00:43:46,970
Hello, is that the police?
483
00:43:47,590 --> 00:43:51,030
I'm being held prisoner in a... Where is
this place?
484
00:43:51,730 --> 00:43:54,990
Ah, it's Sloan 2092.
485
00:43:55,710 --> 00:43:56,710
Yes, officer.
486
00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:58,320
There's a wicked evil woman here.
487
00:43:58,860 --> 00:44:00,240
She's holding me hostage.
488
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:08,100
Knowing me hostage.
489
00:44:11,060 --> 00:44:13,260
I said she's holding me hostage.
490
00:44:16,240 --> 00:44:17,800
Well, she thinks that's clever, doesn't
she?
491
00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:21,840
But there's more than one way of getting
out of here. You've forgotten the
492
00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:23,340
window, haven't you, eh?
493
00:44:24,380 --> 00:44:25,800
Yes, you...
494
00:44:30,990 --> 00:44:32,550
You don't mind? I'd rather not look.
495
00:44:33,270 --> 00:44:34,910
I get what they call virtuous.
496
00:44:36,110 --> 00:44:40,570
We can't have that, can we? Now, look
here. You sit down there and relax.
497
00:44:40,790 --> 00:44:43,250
You might even get to like it here in
time.
498
00:44:43,610 --> 00:44:48,290
We might even become more than just
friends.
499
00:44:50,870 --> 00:44:51,870
Look,
500
00:44:52,230 --> 00:44:55,450
if you don't let me go, I'll destroy
myself.
501
00:44:56,270 --> 00:44:58,230
I should jump out the window. I promise
I will.
502
00:44:58,530 --> 00:44:59,530
I'll do it.
503
00:44:59,570 --> 00:45:00,570
I'm going to jump.
504
00:45:45,130 --> 00:45:48,390
and relax. It's much nicer out here. How
can I relax? My mother will be
505
00:45:48,390 --> 00:45:50,550
expecting me. I'm supposed to be taking
Elsie out tonight.
506
00:45:50,770 --> 00:45:52,750
Elsie? Who's Elsie? She's my intended.
507
00:45:53,130 --> 00:45:55,070
I mean, we're secretly and unofficially
engaged.
508
00:45:55,470 --> 00:45:58,050
Well, what has this Elsie got that I
haven't got?
509
00:45:58,350 --> 00:46:00,310
Well, nothing, only she hasn't had it
for quite so long.
510
00:46:02,770 --> 00:46:03,770
Now, listen.
511
00:46:05,270 --> 00:46:10,470
I can give you all the good things in
life. I'm a very rich woman. Yes, I
512
00:46:10,510 --> 00:46:12,470
It's all right for you. You've got
money. You're taking advantage of me
513
00:46:12,470 --> 00:46:13,470
I'm poor, aren't you?
514
00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:15,260
I mean, I come from a poor family, you
know.
515
00:46:15,540 --> 00:46:17,960
My parents couldn't even afford to buy
me clothes as a child.
516
00:46:18,260 --> 00:46:21,020
I couldn't go out anywhere to walk
around the house naked till I was 16.
517
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:25,100
And then what happened? They bought me a
top hat so I could look out the window.
518
00:46:29,820 --> 00:46:30,880
Have a piece of cake.
519
00:46:31,180 --> 00:46:32,240
No, thank you. I'm not hungry.
520
00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:35,040
I mean, I'm the breadwinner in the
family. Now, my father won't go to work.
521
00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:35,999
won't get out of bed.
522
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,840
And the only exercise he ever gets is
sticking his finger into chocolates to
523
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:40,140
find out which ones have the soft
centre.
524
00:46:41,180 --> 00:46:45,000
You don't do that now they put the
design on the lid. Just a small piece.
525
00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:46,500
just a small piece then. All right.
526
00:46:46,940 --> 00:46:50,600
And you mean my father says all he wants
for Christmas is bed socks, a bottle
527
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:55,440
opener, beer and a bucket. I mean, what
sort of a nice... No, no, no, no, no,
528
00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:59,500
no, no, no, no. Just like there. About
there. That's it, like that. That'll do
529
00:46:59,500 --> 00:47:00,500
lovely. Thank you very much.
530
00:47:02,960 --> 00:47:04,140
Well, it's quite nice, isn't it?
531
00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:06,040
Would you like some champagne?
532
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:07,400
Yes, I would. You got any fags?
533
00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:08,940
Oh, fags. Cigarettes.
534
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:12,060
I forgot them. Oh. or whatever made me
forget the cigarettes.
535
00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:15,020
Look, wait there, wait there. I shan't
be very long.
536
00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:16,820
I'll just pop out and get them.
537
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:20,560
She's left the door open.
538
00:47:21,140 --> 00:47:22,320
She hasn't locked the door.
539
00:47:22,780 --> 00:47:23,780
I can escape.
540
00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:27,820
I'll be able to see my little home again
before they pull it down.
541
00:47:28,900 --> 00:47:30,180
To put up a slum.
542
00:47:31,460 --> 00:47:33,820
I'll be able to have some of my sister's
flaky pastry.
543
00:47:34,380 --> 00:47:35,600
It's like eating a wet book.
544
00:47:39,820 --> 00:47:42,540
again. My goldfish, the only ones in the
house who open their mouths without
545
00:47:42,540 --> 00:47:43,540
asking for something.
546
00:47:44,820 --> 00:47:48,820
I should be able to see Elsie again, and
her mother, and talk about the wedding,
547
00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:52,180
and the little council house we're going
to have, and how her mother and father
548
00:47:52,180 --> 00:47:53,280
are going to come and live with us.
549
00:47:54,080 --> 00:47:56,120
And her brother, as soon as he gets out
the doorstool.
550
00:47:56,700 --> 00:48:00,960
What am I talking about? I say, you left
the door open!
551
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:03,360
Oh,
552
00:48:03,780 --> 00:48:04,780
this isn't...
553
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:19,460
Hollywood and the stars.
554
00:48:22,220 --> 00:48:27,520
Throughout the history of motion
pictures, there have been many
555
00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:28,960
enduring partnerships.
556
00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:34,660
In the late 20s, three comedians forsook
the Broadway stage for the movies.
557
00:48:34,980 --> 00:48:36,920
They were the Marx Brothers.
558
00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:53,880
Where you been?
559
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:57,380
You found a baby?
560
00:48:59,180 --> 00:49:00,440
You found a woman?
561
00:49:00,820 --> 00:49:02,200
Ah, what's her name?
562
00:49:05,240 --> 00:49:07,540
Jewelry? What's the name of jewelry?
563
00:49:08,240 --> 00:49:12,680
Jewelry? You have found a jewelry, the
one with the microfilm. Ah, where is the
564
00:49:12,680 --> 00:49:15,480
microfilm? What's that, the scout honor?
565
00:49:15,820 --> 00:49:16,820
You're not a boy scout.
566
00:49:17,040 --> 00:49:19,760
No scout, huh? But honor, honor.
567
00:49:20,170 --> 00:49:22,730
The microfilm is on. Oh, come on. We've
got to go get her then.
568
00:49:38,810 --> 00:49:40,730
Don't you just wish there were four
marks, brothers?
569
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:54,680
Certainly no husband and wife team ever
received more adulation than Richard
570
00:49:54,680 --> 00:50:01,100
Burton and Elizabeth Taylor, seen here
in Who's Afraid of Lavinia Woolf?
571
00:50:22,090 --> 00:50:24,210
You know I like plenty of ice in my
glass.
572
00:50:24,710 --> 00:50:26,630
You know you always chew it.
573
00:50:27,510 --> 00:50:29,490
I do not chew my ice.
574
00:50:29,890 --> 00:50:31,670
I was talking about the glass.
575
00:50:32,610 --> 00:50:33,970
Ah, get knotted.
576
00:50:34,830 --> 00:50:39,190
You've never read Einstein's theory of
relativity, have you? I have so too.
577
00:50:39,990 --> 00:50:41,510
And I think he was wrong.
578
00:50:42,510 --> 00:50:45,730
You don't know anything about anyone in
this whole wide world.
579
00:50:46,570 --> 00:50:49,670
You don't know who Einstein is, but I do
because I go to night school every
580
00:50:49,670 --> 00:50:50,670
Tuesday and Saturday.
581
00:50:51,410 --> 00:50:52,730
Big deal.
582
00:50:53,990 --> 00:50:57,490
You don't know who Darwin is, do you,
but I do because I go to night school
583
00:50:57,490 --> 00:51:01,410
every Tuesday and Saturday. You don't
know who Pablo Picasso is, do you, but I
584
00:51:01,410 --> 00:51:03,490
do because I go to night school every
Tuesday and Saturday.
585
00:51:05,690 --> 00:51:08,850
You don't know who Sam Gluckstein is, do
you?
586
00:51:09,970 --> 00:51:13,910
Oh, I'll admit I don't know who Sam
Gluckstein is. Who is Sam Gluckstein?
587
00:51:14,330 --> 00:51:17,110
He's the guy who comes around here every
Tuesday and Saturday while you break
588
00:51:17,110 --> 00:51:18,110
night school.
589
00:51:24,370 --> 00:51:30,510
Probably the most successful partnership
ever was that of Stan Laurel and Oliver
590
00:51:30,510 --> 00:51:31,510
Hardy.
591
00:51:36,530 --> 00:51:40,550
Oh, Stanley, come on. Here.
592
00:52:20,300 --> 00:52:22,980
Another fine myth you got me into.
593
00:52:24,100 --> 00:52:30,940
The early 40s gave us Sidney
594
00:52:30,940 --> 00:52:33,360
Greenstreet and Peter Lorre. See you,
sir.
595
00:52:33,980 --> 00:52:35,140
See me.
596
00:52:47,060 --> 00:52:48,060
Sir.
597
00:52:49,879 --> 00:52:50,879
mistake.
598
00:52:54,960 --> 00:52:58,760
Life is very cheap in Casablanca.
599
00:52:59,140 --> 00:53:00,920
Put me down.
600
00:53:01,420 --> 00:53:05,020
You mean we can't send the gold by the
railways?
601
00:53:05,700 --> 00:53:07,380
There are no trains.
602
00:53:08,400 --> 00:53:10,900
But you said you heard trains.
603
00:53:11,620 --> 00:53:17,340
I thought I heard trains, but it wasn't
trains. It was German prisoners of war.
604
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:21,360
Passing sandbags to each other. And they
are very polite.
605
00:53:21,620 --> 00:53:28,240
And they were saying... It wasn't
strange at all.
606
00:53:34,980 --> 00:53:35,620
The
607
00:53:35,620 --> 00:53:43,040
musicals
608
00:53:43,040 --> 00:53:44,540
had their king and queen.
609
00:53:45,100 --> 00:53:46,140
Nelson Eddy.
610
00:53:46,780 --> 00:53:47,880
and Janet McDonald.
611
00:53:54,060 --> 00:53:57,160
You went away, I let you.
612
00:53:58,580 --> 00:54:01,560
We broke the ties that bind.
613
00:54:02,700 --> 00:54:09,580
I wanted to forget you and leave the
past
614
00:54:09,580 --> 00:54:10,980
behind.
615
00:55:03,080 --> 00:55:05,840
This eager heart of mine is singing,
616
00:55:06,640 --> 00:55:10,640
lover, come back to me.
617
00:55:12,460 --> 00:55:18,740
When I remember every little thing you
used to do, I'm so
618
00:55:18,740 --> 00:55:20,740
lonely.
619
00:55:21,960 --> 00:55:27,020
Every road I've walked along, I've
walked along with you.
620
00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:32,120
No wonder you were lonely.
621
00:56:22,110 --> 00:56:27,350
1954, on the waterfront, with the superb
performance of Rod Steiger, matched
622
00:56:27,350 --> 00:56:30,310
only by the brilliance of Marlon Brando.
623
00:56:34,190 --> 00:56:35,550
Look, you're my brother.
624
00:56:36,390 --> 00:56:37,850
I don't want to see you get hurt.
625
00:56:39,490 --> 00:56:42,270
Look, all I'm asking is for you to go
along with these guys.
626
00:56:43,970 --> 00:56:46,450
Look, you're a smart, intelligent boy.
627
00:56:47,330 --> 00:56:48,330
I know.
628
00:56:51,780 --> 00:56:56,820
Is there any way to talk to your
brother?
629
00:57:01,160 --> 00:57:06,720
Terry, sometimes I just don't understand
you.
630
00:57:08,740 --> 00:57:10,700
He's 44th on 33rd Street.
631
00:57:11,040 --> 00:57:12,080
What do you say, Mac?
632
00:57:12,280 --> 00:57:14,580
He's 44th on 33rd Street.
633
00:57:15,100 --> 00:57:16,480
How's that again, Mac?
634
00:57:16,860 --> 00:57:21,020
Look, you don't let no diver get gone
for 40 cents a tin of water, can you
635
00:57:21,280 --> 00:57:23,160
Why don't you say so in the first place?
636
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:28,480
The late
637
00:57:28,480 --> 00:57:35,380
30s
638
00:57:35,380 --> 00:57:39,340
brought together Beauty and the Beast,
Mae West, and W .C. Fields.
639
00:57:41,660 --> 00:57:42,660
Well,
640
00:57:44,680 --> 00:57:48,340
bartender, give me a... A shot of rye
and a glass of water.
641
00:57:48,640 --> 00:57:49,640
Thank you.
642
00:57:50,360 --> 00:57:51,360
Yeah.
643
00:57:59,640 --> 00:58:00,640
How's the wife?
644
00:58:00,840 --> 00:58:02,660
Yeah, better than nothing, I guess.
645
00:58:09,460 --> 00:58:12,560
Give me a shot of snake eye, lover boy.
646
00:58:15,880 --> 00:58:17,180
What do they call you, my dear?
647
00:58:18,100 --> 00:58:19,380
None of your business.
648
00:58:20,180 --> 00:58:21,260
What do they call me?
649
00:58:21,800 --> 00:58:22,800
Lulubow.
650
00:58:23,880 --> 00:58:24,880
Lulubow!
651
00:58:25,860 --> 00:58:27,920
What are you from West Appalachia?
652
00:58:30,280 --> 00:58:32,880
What are you, the hired helper or
something?
653
00:58:33,440 --> 00:58:34,780
Yeah, hired help.
654
00:58:35,100 --> 00:58:36,840
Why, heavens to bits, say.
655
00:58:37,500 --> 00:58:39,500
You're not a fuddy -duddy, are you?
656
00:58:39,960 --> 00:58:41,500
You're not a mooncast?
657
00:58:42,720 --> 00:58:44,280
Well, have you known my father?
658
00:58:46,350 --> 00:58:47,350
What was your mother?
659
00:58:47,650 --> 00:58:48,650
Chucky.
660
00:58:49,830 --> 00:58:53,070
Why, my father made the Empire State
Building.
661
00:58:53,650 --> 00:58:55,870
My father made the Brooklyn Bridge.
662
00:58:56,710 --> 00:58:59,850
My father made the Great Boulder Dam.
663
00:59:01,390 --> 00:59:03,850
What did your father ever make?
664
00:59:04,770 --> 00:59:07,070
Look me over, big boy.
665
00:59:07,430 --> 00:59:09,290
Look me over.
666
00:59:13,810 --> 00:59:15,850
Reminds me, must get my watch.
667
00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:30,180
And so ends the partnerships of
Hollywood and the stars.
668
00:59:39,820 --> 00:59:44,260
Ladies and gentlemen, this little folk
song you're hearing at the moment comes
669
00:59:44,260 --> 00:59:45,260
from Central America.
670
00:59:45,900 --> 00:59:49,420
And it is virtually the national anthem
of the small town of Huevas.
671
00:59:49,980 --> 00:59:54,260
And Huevas has the distinction of having
the highest birth rate in all of
672
00:59:54,260 --> 00:59:55,260
Central America.
673
00:59:55,720 --> 01:00:00,640
And a lot of people hold that Juan
Santos is responsible for this.
674
01:00:01,060 --> 01:00:02,240
He's 97.
675
01:00:03,700 --> 01:00:05,640
But a very sprightly 97.
676
01:00:07,540 --> 01:00:10,020
And he is the local train driver.
677
01:00:10,880 --> 01:00:14,700
And he drives his train through Huevas.
678
01:00:15,310 --> 01:00:19,850
Every morning at five o 'clock and blows
his whistle.
679
01:00:23,090 --> 01:00:24,090
Loudly.
680
01:00:25,270 --> 01:00:26,870
And wakes everybody up.
681
01:00:28,530 --> 01:00:33,350
And at five o 'clock in the morning,
it's too early to get up and go to work.
682
01:00:37,370 --> 01:00:40,410
And it's too late to go to sleep again.
683
01:00:41,490 --> 01:00:43,730
And I wish I was dead, but...
684
01:00:45,750 --> 01:00:49,490
The Huarache Indians actually live up in
the hills near with us and they come
685
01:00:49,490 --> 01:00:52,990
down once a year and they have a big lua
or feasting, you know, and they get
686
01:00:52,990 --> 01:00:58,030
tanked up on this tequila and xenophore
essence and it really gets you going,
687
01:00:58,110 --> 01:00:58,769
that stuff.
688
01:00:58,770 --> 01:01:02,090
And they go potty, you know, they go
running around.
689
01:01:04,570 --> 01:01:07,530
I really didn't mean that.
690
01:01:10,830 --> 01:01:15,410
They go mad, they go running around on
red hot coals and upturned knives and
691
01:01:15,410 --> 01:01:19,410
broken glass and it doesn't hurt them a
bit because they wear big hobnail boots.
692
01:01:21,190 --> 01:01:26,230
Actually, boots have only very recently
come to the Indians, you know, until
693
01:01:26,230 --> 01:01:31,030
1933 they didn't have any boots, you
know. I mean, before 1933 you could have
694
01:01:31,030 --> 01:01:34,250
gone up to one of these Indian Warachis
and you would have said, boots, you
695
01:01:34,250 --> 01:01:35,990
know, or cobblers or something.
696
01:01:36,860 --> 01:01:39,600
He wouldn't have understood what you
meant, but now they've got boots, and
697
01:01:39,600 --> 01:01:44,580
first one to have a pair of boots was so
proud. You see what I got here? I got
698
01:01:44,580 --> 01:01:45,578
my boots.
699
01:01:45,580 --> 01:01:50,700
You want to go to the Grand Bia?
700
01:01:51,180 --> 01:01:54,560
He's first on the right, he's second on
the left, and straight ahead.
701
01:01:55,300 --> 01:01:58,720
You have to excuse me now. I'm going to
tie up my boots late.
702
01:02:02,240 --> 01:02:03,900
They do. And of course...
703
01:02:05,759 --> 01:02:08,700
Nowadays, you know, a lot of tourists
come down from North America, you know,
704
01:02:08,760 --> 01:02:11,660
from California. They come down all
loaded up with cameras, you know, and
705
01:02:11,660 --> 01:02:14,500
go around photographing everything
inside. Oh, look at that, Harry. Isn't
706
01:02:14,500 --> 01:02:16,040
great? Hey, Alice, look at that.
707
01:02:16,360 --> 01:02:17,360
Wonderful.
708
01:02:17,540 --> 01:02:18,540
Oh, look.
709
01:02:18,680 --> 01:02:19,920
Isn't that just fabulous?
710
01:02:20,560 --> 01:02:21,600
I like
711
01:02:21,600 --> 01:02:29,280
some
712
01:02:29,280 --> 01:02:31,320
words to this song. I think it's rather
lovely.
713
01:02:33,520 --> 01:02:34,520
I aft.
714
01:02:35,180 --> 01:02:39,500
A policeman in Portsmouth, the way to
the YMCA.
715
01:02:40,300 --> 01:02:44,060
You turn left, he said, then you go
straight ahead.
716
01:02:44,340 --> 01:02:47,240
I said thanks and I went on my way.
717
01:02:47,480 --> 01:02:49,160
Then I saw her.
718
01:02:49,520 --> 01:02:54,640
She was in a pub doorway and I saw the
way she was dressed.
719
01:02:55,340 --> 01:03:02,240
Her blouse was so low that I murmured,
oh, as I saw her pink woolly vest.
720
01:03:03,380 --> 01:03:04,700
Old sailor.
721
01:03:05,150 --> 01:03:09,910
I'm lonely, she whispered, and she
smiled, and she gave me a flower.
722
01:03:10,450 --> 01:03:17,070
Then round to her place we casually
strolled at seventy miles an
723
01:03:17,070 --> 01:03:23,770
hour. The moment that followed
thereafter, a moment I'll
724
01:03:23,770 --> 01:03:24,770
never forget.
725
01:03:25,770 --> 01:03:31,130
I kissed her hands, and I kissed her
face, and if I'd stayed I'd have been
726
01:03:31,130 --> 01:03:32,410
kissing her yet.
727
01:03:33,130 --> 01:03:34,430
Then a knock.
728
01:03:35,400 --> 01:03:39,940
At the door, it was her husband. She
said, jump out the window, he's vicious.
729
01:03:40,560 --> 01:03:46,500
I said, you must be joking, we're 13
floors up. She said, darling, don't be
730
01:03:46,500 --> 01:03:53,280
superstitious. Then he burst in and he
rushed straight up to me. I thought
731
01:03:53,280 --> 01:03:55,140
I was in for a fight.
732
01:03:55,580 --> 01:04:02,120
He said, you've gone the wrong way for
the YFDA. You should have turned left
733
01:04:02,120 --> 01:04:03,120
not right.
734
01:04:26,190 --> 01:04:31,610
There will now be a short interval. The
sales staff will visit all parts.
735
01:05:17,480 --> 01:05:19,740
just come in. He's up at the bar
drinking.
736
01:05:20,380 --> 01:05:27,340
You can't miss him. He's a lean, tall,
good -looking, got a strong chin, hard
737
01:05:27,340 --> 01:05:28,720
steel blue eyes.
738
01:05:29,860 --> 01:05:31,000
About 24.
739
01:05:33,400 --> 01:05:34,400
He's tough.
740
01:05:34,420 --> 01:05:35,420
He's ruthless.
741
01:05:35,500 --> 01:05:40,300
He's a gunning. But above all, he's
consanguineous.
742
01:05:40,760 --> 01:05:41,760
Hey, wait a minute.
743
01:05:42,000 --> 01:05:44,320
He just come in. Better be careful.
744
01:05:45,230 --> 01:05:47,690
Used to be a big thing between them a
while back.
745
01:05:49,010 --> 01:05:50,010
Hiya, Stella.
746
01:05:50,230 --> 01:05:52,010
Long time no see.
747
01:05:52,390 --> 01:05:53,390
Too long.
748
01:05:53,670 --> 01:05:55,410
Hasn't it been too long for you, Harry?
749
01:05:55,890 --> 01:05:56,910
Haven't you missed me?
750
01:05:57,450 --> 01:05:59,170
Missed all the fun we had together?
751
01:05:59,570 --> 01:06:01,710
They were good times, weren't they?
752
01:06:02,050 --> 01:06:03,050
Weren't they, Harry?
753
01:06:03,330 --> 01:06:04,330
They sure were.
754
01:06:04,490 --> 01:06:05,690
They sure were.
755
01:06:07,930 --> 01:06:10,230
You know what I remember about you,
Harry?
756
01:06:10,750 --> 01:06:12,010
It's the way you smiled.
757
01:06:12,450 --> 01:06:13,450
You know.
758
01:06:13,530 --> 01:06:17,190
Every time you smile, your nose sort of
crinkles up.
759
01:06:17,610 --> 01:06:21,270
It's always fascinated me the way it
sort of crinkles up.
760
01:06:24,530 --> 01:06:26,590
Are you still drinking, Harry?
761
01:06:27,410 --> 01:06:28,990
Why do you do it, Harry?
762
01:06:29,570 --> 01:06:33,370
It was your drinking which split us up
the last time.
763
01:06:34,130 --> 01:06:39,450
But if you give it up right here and
now, you can have me back, Harry.
764
01:06:40,730 --> 01:06:41,730
Well?
765
01:06:42,250 --> 01:06:43,330
Which is it to be?
766
01:06:47,070 --> 01:06:49,450
Give me another brew.
767
01:06:50,430 --> 01:06:51,490
Very well, Harry.
768
01:06:51,930 --> 01:06:56,050
If that's how it's going to be, you'd
better take your ring back.
769
01:06:56,330 --> 01:06:59,370
Oh, come on, Stella. Don't be like that.
I mean it, Harry.
770
01:06:59,710 --> 01:07:02,330
I want you out of my life for good.
771
01:07:02,710 --> 01:07:03,710
Now, here.
772
01:07:03,890 --> 01:07:05,570
Take your ring back.
773
01:07:06,230 --> 01:07:08,830
Okay, honey. If that's the way you want
it.
774
01:07:11,660 --> 01:07:12,660
Now go.
775
01:07:13,060 --> 01:07:15,880
Go on. Get out of my life, Harry.
776
01:07:16,380 --> 01:07:18,480
Get out of my life, please.
777
01:07:19,180 --> 01:07:20,118
Sure, honey.
778
01:07:20,120 --> 01:07:21,720
If that's how you want it.
779
01:07:23,520 --> 01:07:24,640
Harry, come back.
780
01:07:25,160 --> 01:07:28,200
Please come back, Harry. I need you.
781
01:07:29,140 --> 01:07:30,140
Okay, honey.
782
01:07:30,580 --> 01:07:31,580
I'm here.
783
01:07:32,780 --> 01:07:38,900
Harry, I want you to know, and I mean
this, I want you to know that whatever
784
01:07:38,900 --> 01:07:40,180
do, no matter what, and...
785
01:07:40,430 --> 01:07:44,150
Wherever you go, no matter where, no
matter what happens, either now or in
786
01:07:44,150 --> 01:07:46,830
future, or at any time, I want you to
know that.
787
01:07:49,170 --> 01:07:53,270
Oh, Harry, I love you so very deeply.
788
01:07:53,990 --> 01:07:56,050
I love you. I love you.
789
01:07:57,290 --> 01:07:59,130
I've never loved anyone else.
790
01:08:05,230 --> 01:08:06,630
What day is today?
791
01:08:07,470 --> 01:08:08,470
What?
792
01:08:09,230 --> 01:08:10,230
Our anniversary.
793
01:08:10,350 --> 01:08:11,350
Don't you remember?
794
01:08:11,850 --> 01:08:16,850
Three years ago to this very day in this
very bar, we met for the very first
795
01:08:16,850 --> 01:08:20,910
time. And here, I got a little present
for you.
796
01:08:21,210 --> 01:08:25,569
Oh, no, Harry. I just couldn't. Oh, go
ahead. Take it.
797
01:08:27,609 --> 01:08:28,990
I can't.
798
01:08:30,029 --> 01:08:31,390
Oh, my God.
799
01:08:32,189 --> 01:08:33,510
A diamond.
800
01:08:37,340 --> 01:08:39,319
No one's too good for you, baby.
801
01:08:40,060 --> 01:08:41,380
Oh, Harry.
802
01:08:41,760 --> 01:08:43,859
How can I ever thank you?
803
01:08:44,120 --> 01:08:45,620
We'll think of something.
804
01:08:49,180 --> 01:08:50,560
Hello, I assume.
805
01:08:51,120 --> 01:08:53,359
Why, hello there, Scarlet.
806
01:08:53,580 --> 01:08:55,319
Mind if a lady sit here?
807
01:08:55,720 --> 01:08:56,720
Be my guest.
808
01:08:57,220 --> 01:08:58,979
Do you mind if I smoke?
809
01:08:59,439 --> 01:09:00,439
Go right ahead.
810
01:09:06,920 --> 01:09:08,340
I see you again, Harry.
811
01:09:08,580 --> 01:09:11,200
You don't, you haven't changed at all.
812
01:09:11,800 --> 01:09:14,399
Same old Harry, same old smile.
813
01:09:14,920 --> 01:09:20,260
Sort of crinkly. It sort of makes your
nose crinkle up.
814
01:09:22,500 --> 01:09:24,040
I like that.
815
01:09:24,800 --> 01:09:30,060
Not still going around with that little
waitress, Harry. You don't need her. You
816
01:09:30,060 --> 01:09:31,500
need me, Harry.
817
01:09:31,760 --> 01:09:35,939
We need each other. You are all mine.
818
01:09:36,540 --> 01:09:38,800
And I am all woman.
819
01:09:39,620 --> 01:09:41,220
Kiss me, Harry.
820
01:09:41,859 --> 01:09:42,899
Kiss me.
821
01:09:43,680 --> 01:09:46,640
Okay, Harry, this is it. Don't look
around.
822
01:09:47,380 --> 01:09:49,800
Spread ahead. And don't try anything.
823
01:09:50,140 --> 01:09:52,939
Just get those hands up. I said to get
them up.
824
01:09:55,000 --> 01:09:56,100
Drop it, Tony.
825
01:09:56,400 --> 01:09:58,620
Okay, Cuffer. You asked for it.
826
01:10:11,150 --> 01:10:11,688
me, Lieutenant.
827
01:10:11,690 --> 01:10:15,410
Harry, you're a three -time loser. And
with a three -time loser, there's only
828
01:10:15,410 --> 01:10:16,450
one way out.
67703
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