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Previously on Bartlett.
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He is risen.
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I don't think chickens are funny.
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It doesn't have to be a chicken.
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I think chickens are hilarious.
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The ladies of Khan and Partners call you
the swinging dick. And I kind of like
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that. I know you're angry. I quit.
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Khan, I need the Porsche. You have not
seen her for a year and you think you
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just bossing her? I think she can help
me smooth over a problem. Why would you
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want to thank me? I hired you. Best
thing that ever happened to me.
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Surprised?
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Not really.
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Now turn your head and look at the order
menu.
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Now reach out and touch it.
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Now I feel stupid.
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All right. The future always feels
stupid at first. Oh, shit. I just
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thousand mouse pads.
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We still sell mouse pads? Okay, it's
still being tweaked. It's in beta. But
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are inside of your brand, right?
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now. Isn't that amazing?
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This is too tech for us.
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Too tech.
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You're still called Computer City,
right?
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Alright, has Maggie seen this?
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Maggie? Has she seen... It's a good
question. Is it?
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Because Sanjay Khan was in here and he
gave the distinct impression that she
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working for him now.
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Alright, have you been lying to us?
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Maggie has virtually been a part of
every... We're going to need to have an
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internal discussion for this.
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Okay, just make sure you include Ted,
because he loves this.
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I love this.
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Oh, wait, you don't want to stand up.
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Ted?
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You okay?
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We'll be in touch.
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Can I come in?
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Yeah, Roger's here. I gotta go.
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Yeah. Okay. I love you, too. Is that
Sanjay? Hey, buddy, it's Raj.
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Hope it's cool I'm here with you to love
her.
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Okay, okay.
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Bye, Mom.
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Sorry, the I love you part threw me off.
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Love always throws you off.
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Marianne will appreciate my fighting
spirit.
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Why does every relationship have to be
an epic struggle for you?
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Because I'm a lover and a fighter.
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And not very good at either.
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It says a focus group of one. Which is
still statistically relevant.
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What happened out here?
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Wow.
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Oh. You still have the glockenspiel I
gave you.
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Oh, yeah.
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Do you want that back?
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No, I gave it to you.
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Oh, I thought you might want to give it
to Caitlin.
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Caitlin?
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Why would I want to give it to Caitlin?
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Must be Wednesday.
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Put the bear down.
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Oh.
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There's a guy downstairs getting
acupuncture on his labradoodle and
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doing your laundry?
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I could have the Blanche -A -Seuss do
it. Did you just say Blanche -A -Seuss?
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But I need some authenticity in my life.
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Well, maybe start by not saying Blanche
-A -Seuss and...
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Don't live in a building that's
basically a millennial theme park.
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If I get invited to one more fucking UX
design meetup, I'm moving to Portland.
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Bob?
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Roger?
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across that wasteland of mobile signals,
fibre optics and digital switches to
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reach award -winning creative director
Roger Newhouse.
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For a decade, he's been helping brands
find their true voice. At The Tone, tell
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him how he can help you find yours.
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Roger, where are you? We're running out
of time and you need to call me.
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And change your voicemail. You sound
like a twat.
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Oh, God.
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Where am I?
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What? I cannot believe how comfortable
this sofa fort is.
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Where's Roger?
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I thought he'd be back by now.
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Well, he's not back here.
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Why are you behind the couch?
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I needed a nap.
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This sofa fort is incredible.
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I was out in seconds.
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Oh, and a dream I had.
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Here's your coffee and your sandwich.
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A tall African thingy? Yeah.
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Excellent day.
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It was chicken this, chicken that.
Praise be the Lord. You asked for meat
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they gave you chicken. You're not taking
this seriously.
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Well, we were young and stupid once,
right? It's all part of the cycle.
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Are you staring at my underwear?
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They're right in front of me. They're
very late. I'm not going to stop doing
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laundry because you showed up. Okay,
fine. I'll close my eyes and pretend
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you're wearing... Fuck it. How does Bob
deal with you? That poor man.
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I'm the one on the chopping block.
Because you lost four clients.
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Those clients were either too scared,
too blind, or too cheap. Do not blame
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clients. That is so tacky. It is every
creative director's God -given right to
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blame the clients.
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Well, it doesn't get you any jobs back,
does it? I will get all of those jobs
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back when we win Pear.
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We?
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It's just you, Roger.
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Fuck,
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this sandwich is good.
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Oh, you better give me your shirt.
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What, did I get something? No, it's just
properly wrinkled, and there's a place
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on the corner that will clean it while I
wait.
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You should come to New York with me.
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Are you joking?
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You've got guts.
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I need people like you.
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I don't have guts. I'm just trying to
survive.
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Sure.
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Oh, we should have your trousers, too.
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You want me to take my pants off?
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I'm sure you get asked that all the
time.
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The dream I had.
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In a sofa fort.
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A vision of a new kind of ad agency.
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Clean.
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Efficient. Transparent.
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As everything you care about in Andy
Baker doesn't.
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Pants.
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I don't know.
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Tell me this isn't about loyalty.
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Loyalty? To Roger.
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What about your loyalty to Roger? That
man has tried everything to live up to
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that stupid promise.
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Let me show you something.
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I've been carrying this around for a
very long time.
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That's you.
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And Thomas.
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Meet advertising's first gay power
couple.
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After that issue came out, people
started telling Thomas it was okay to be
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in this business, but not black.
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He left me.
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Before the year was out.
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That's what I think of loyalty.
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I'm so sorry.
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But you know what?
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What are you doing?
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Just a second.
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A fresh start.
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Hip hip.
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Um. That should really go in the
recycling, though.
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Ooh, bubbly water. Can I actually
have... So in the last ten minutes,
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confused my mother, mentally fondled my
intimates, and insulted all of her
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former clients.
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Can we just deal with the elephant in
the room? More like an albatross around
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neck.
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The answer is still no.
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Maggie, please. You're not good for me.
I have changed.
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No, you haven't. In fact, I cannot
believe how much... You haven't changed.
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still have my Pilates balls, my book, my
desk.
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Surface. I needed surfaces.
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Wait, what's happening?
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Could it be that folding laundry is more
compelling than your bullshit?
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Okay, all right. I'm sorry.
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My therapist says I'm holding you
hostage.
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In my head. I'm not... I wasn't here
to... Wait, you have a therapist?
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Yeah.
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00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:07,240
Since when?
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For about a year now.
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Like since I left the agency?
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Since you left me.
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She's good. She says, Roger, you've got
to find ways to give Maggie rooms to
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escape. Build doors, windows,
staircases.
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Your therapist sounds like a contractor.
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She charges like one, too.
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So how do you feel right now?
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Honestly?
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A little vulnerable.
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Good.
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Good.
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Good.
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Okay.
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Andy Baker speaking.
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Bob Freeman here.
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Bob, you better be calling to tell me
you've impaled Roger's head on a fucking
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spike outside the office. Shut up, Andy.
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Excuse me?
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00:10:01,030 --> 00:10:05,570
I've had a vision of a harmonious ad
agency.
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00:10:06,270 --> 00:10:09,650
The free flow of performance centers.
Transparent promotion schedules.
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00:10:10,750 --> 00:10:14,210
Daily calisthenics and hot yoga.
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00:10:14,650 --> 00:10:17,630
You're describing a Japanese car
factory.
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00:10:18,110 --> 00:10:23,030
Then call me Fremont -san. Because I'm
going to make Agency NYC purr.
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Like a fucking Honda Civic.
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If you still have a job.
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00:10:28,430 --> 00:10:29,750
Oh, I have a job.
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Your job.
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Do you keep it in a box?
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Fuck you, Bob.
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Change is coming, Andy.
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Fast and deadly. Like a freight train in
the night.
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Choo -choo, trick bitch.
199
00:10:48,450 --> 00:10:49,449
Choo -choo.
200
00:10:49,450 --> 00:10:52,610
Okay, great. I really think this could
work. Okay, right. Sit down.
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Okay.
202
00:10:55,610 --> 00:10:56,610
I need to think.
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00:11:03,690 --> 00:11:05,290
You know what used to help you think?
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Jam out.
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I was one of the ones You
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00:11:51,270 --> 00:11:57,650
were Not that endless one
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That's alright I still believe
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00:12:07,210 --> 00:12:10,050
And you're brilliant.
209
00:12:11,170 --> 00:12:12,510
And you're brilliant.
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00:12:13,050 --> 00:12:14,050
I'll work on it.
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00:12:14,090 --> 00:12:15,090
Stop.
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00:12:17,630 --> 00:12:18,730
Raise your right hand.
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00:12:20,470 --> 00:12:21,730
Why? Just do it.
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00:12:24,530 --> 00:12:25,530
Okay.
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00:12:27,150 --> 00:12:33,650
Do you, Roger Mallory Newhouse, promise
to honor,
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respect, and especially obey me?
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For the next five hours.
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00:12:39,530 --> 00:12:40,990
I do. I really do.
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00:12:43,790 --> 00:12:44,790
Fine.
220
00:12:45,310 --> 00:12:47,410
I'll do it. Seriously. Really?
221
00:12:49,650 --> 00:12:52,470
I don't know how much we can get done in
five hours. Sure, sure.
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00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:55,530
Maybe some ad -libs, style guide.
223
00:12:55,750 --> 00:12:56,529
Style guide.
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00:12:56,530 --> 00:12:57,429
TV script.
225
00:12:57,430 --> 00:12:58,430
Yeah.
226
00:12:58,590 --> 00:13:00,010
Script. Two.
227
00:13:06,430 --> 00:13:07,430
Yeah.
228
00:13:07,590 --> 00:13:09,090
Let's do it.
229
00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:12,570
The thing, the... Should I bring my
guitar?
230
00:13:12,850 --> 00:13:13,829
No, you can't.
231
00:13:13,830 --> 00:13:14,830
Okay.
232
00:13:15,030 --> 00:13:16,550
I can just do acapella.
233
00:13:22,730 --> 00:13:24,450
Really bought more coffee?
234
00:13:25,050 --> 00:13:27,030
Yeah. How do you work this day?
235
00:13:27,270 --> 00:13:29,650
Oh, that stuff's rubbish. Anyway, we
really should be getting you dressed.
236
00:13:32,370 --> 00:13:33,990
Where is Roger?
237
00:13:34,590 --> 00:13:35,930
I don't know, but we've got hours.
238
00:13:36,490 --> 00:13:39,330
What happens after we run out of hours?
239
00:13:39,990 --> 00:13:42,950
Rule number five, Bob. Make everything
look deliberate.
240
00:13:43,330 --> 00:13:47,330
What? Okay. So, we go down to Per
Computer.
241
00:13:47,890 --> 00:13:50,050
We do the pitch, as is, together.
242
00:13:51,050 --> 00:13:52,270
It's a Bob and Caitlin show.
243
00:13:53,470 --> 00:13:57,890
That is simultaneously inspired and
insane.
244
00:14:02,150 --> 00:14:03,350
This is...
245
00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:08,060
Amazing? I was going to say inspired,
but yes, amazing too.
246
00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,000
Of course, because it was my idea.
247
00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:13,700
Sometimes I just need to mobilize my
passion.
248
00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:16,560
You are a very clever man.
249
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:17,800
I'd hope you'd remember.
250
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:20,800
And we still have 90 minutes to spare.
251
00:14:21,740 --> 00:14:22,740
Hmm.
252
00:14:24,860 --> 00:14:25,860
Hmm.
253
00:14:26,420 --> 00:14:27,420
Hmm.
254
00:14:29,020 --> 00:14:32,220
We... We should celebrate, don't you
think?
255
00:14:33,100 --> 00:14:36,500
I probably shouldn't have a drink,
especially when I beat traffic on 101.
256
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:37,920
No, we shouldn't have a drink.
257
00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:40,920
It's not Tuesday or Thursday.
258
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:42,200
Okay.
259
00:14:45,420 --> 00:14:48,000
Um, I don't... Okay.
260
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:49,880
Sure.
261
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:51,960
Mm -hmm. Okay.
262
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:56,820
It's time for the Bob and Caitlin show.
263
00:15:15,939 --> 00:15:17,380
Next time on Bartlett.
264
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,460
My stuff is right here. Sorry, hon. This
is kidnapping.
265
00:15:20,780 --> 00:15:22,520
No, this is the express to pair
computer.
266
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:24,200
Aha!
267
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:25,319
Ha what?
268
00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,900
Try and blackmail me again until David
wrote it.
269
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:29,260
I'll have it killed.
270
00:15:29,420 --> 00:15:31,620
Roger, this is your severance package.
271
00:15:31,980 --> 00:15:34,820
What is this, by the way? Is this like a
new lesbian romance? No!
272
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:37,420
God, you're in Enoch Bartlett too.
273
00:15:37,700 --> 00:15:38,700
Enoch not.
274
00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:40,080
They all cried.
275
00:15:40,420 --> 00:15:42,620
Enoch Bartlett would a great big liar.
276
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:46,320
Southern Wilson's game, hella brass and
then fire. Tickle Williams, make it
277
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:47,820
yours, and then call you style.
20091
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