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Previously on Bartlett.
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I'm leaving.
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I can have him packed up and out of here
in five minutes. Good luck. We've got
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00:00:05,540 --> 00:00:07,760
to find you a team and put the meat on
the pitch.
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This is the last in our so -easy -even
-a -chicken -to -use -it concept.
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Why swim in a chicken?
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A pair of computer pitchers are a shit
show.
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This is terrible.
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We do not work on the same project that
is your rule.
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I'm changing it. I really need your
help. I will be there.
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Are you okay, my son?
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How long has he been under here? Maybe
15 minutes. Five minutes.
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What happened to DJ Sixpack?
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G -Pack.
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Right, G -Pack.
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Was it drugs? It was drugs, right? No,
his VR startup got bought by Google,
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actually. And all of a sudden, the guy
doesn't know us anymore.
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But we do have an open seat in the tour
van now.
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And that seat is for me.
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Well, we both love that whole folk,
country, electronic, rock thing you do.
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Thank you.
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But you've got to give it a name.
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Yeah.
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What about folk hop?
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You've got to give that shit a name.
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Right. Yeah. Okay, I'll work on that.
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Do you just go by Roger?
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Yeah. Or I could go by The Roger, you
know, like all the The bands. Or Roger
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with an accent agrave over the G.
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Okay. Are you in?
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Am I in? Yes.
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I am in.
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I'm going to go drop the mic on the
agency right now.
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Roger, don't make me come under there.
You're not helping.
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Roger, we're going to need you to say
something now.
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Give us a sign, my child. Got ten
seconds to give us a sign.
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That's good. That's good.
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Here you go.
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He is risen.
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What the hell is wrong with you?
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I don't think chickens are funny. It
doesn't have to be a chicken.
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It could be floss or funny.
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Floss or funny.
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Silencio.
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Thank you for your time, energy.
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I think I've seen all I need to see.
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Have a very merry Christmas or happy
birthday.
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Well, no, you know, Jesus' birthday
isn't actually on Christmas. That was
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rearranged to... Use flip.
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Use flip.
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I'm very sorry.
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I'm under a lot of stress.
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I think chickens are hilarious.
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Would you like to hear some concept?
We're back in the game. Bring it on.
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We open on a man wearing a chicken suit.
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Oh, wow.
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You guys.
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You did that all on your own, huh? Just
the four of you. I just would like to
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say, from the bottom of my heart, I
think that my dad could write better
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and he still pokes people on Facebook.
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I still poke people on Facebook?
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You're fired.
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Get the fuck out.
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What are you pointing at? Is your mom
here? Did she bring your diaphy? Hey,
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Sanjay. Oh, Maggie.
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All right.
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We can begin. Thank you so much for
being here. Oh, that's okay. I show up
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I say I'm going to. Right, and that's
why we respect you here at the agency.
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That's great. That's great. Guys, you
are in luck. I'm not going to fire you.
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Probably still going to fire you, but
Maggie is here to make sure this fucking
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pitch goes right.
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Thank you, guys. It's an honor.
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That's not really an honor. Oh, but it's
a rare privilege.
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Are you playing solitaire? What the fuck
are you doing? This is not a privilege.
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But it's oh so rare.
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Okay, guys, why don't we run the
presentation by Maggie, and then you, my
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can fill in all the cracks.
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Right, because this is your crack team.
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That's a different kind of crack.
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You guys need a new name, am I right?
No, we don't need a new name, Maggie.
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name's dope. The ladies of Khan and
Partners call you the Swinging Dicks.
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And I kind of like that. Wow, Maggie.
What do you think? Okay.
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Now, I can only speak to the one dick
that I know, and not the collective
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swinginess, but the name evokes a heady
mix of playfulness, sexism, and
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homoerotic. Come on. Wow. Okay.
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You guys stay here and continue to ruin
my company. Maggie, can I please speak
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to you in my office right now? Please.
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talk right here okay yeah
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um listen i know you're angry i quit you
quit what uh
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you're dumping me you the job all of it
right now
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well i'm not trying to schedule it you
know how much is going on i don't really
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care okay yeah that's reasonable you're
being reasonable I invested a lot in
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you, Sanjay.
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Patience, honesty, monogamy.
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And all I asked for in return was
equality.
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We split the office 50 -50. That's
equal.
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Equal would be running the office
together.
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I think you're scared of me.
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I am not scared of you.
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Then why is this the first time you
invited me into your bullshit war
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Are you kidding me? You want to be a
swinging dick? You put a strap on and go
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there. They're fucking idiots. That's
what you want? No.
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No, it's not what I want.
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I'm ending this calmly and cleanly.
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Bye.
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You could get a strap on.
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Mickey, Mr. Samson wants to pick up his
panty remover at 6 o 'clock, right?
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His what?
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9 -14, man.
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That woman's going to drop her panties
for a 9 -14?
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My grandma wouldn't do that. We get paid
$1 ,000 a month to play along. So give
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that beast a little job and make it
sexy.
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Hans!
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Hans!
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Well, well, well. Look what St. Katzen
has dragged in. Hans, I need the
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Oh, you have not seen her for the year,
and you think you can just vault in
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here? I think she can help me smooth
over a problem. I'm just... Okay, I'm
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sorry. I didn't mean to hurt the blue
banshee's feelings.
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You should be. You're also six months
behind on the storage fee. I had to take
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pay cut, and how long has my family been
with you? Yeah, yeah. I have a freezer
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full of schnitzel socks to you.
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Hans, boobie.
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No money, no poshie. That is the rule.
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Mickey. No Mickey either. Can you talk
some sense into Hans? Nein.
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The whole family just left.
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I sent them packing.
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Oh, so Roger was right.
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Too much chicken.
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Although I wouldn't have run away over
it.
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Did you move the guitar?
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Why are there no chairs in here?
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Oh, Maggie hates chairs.
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She says they stifle creativity.
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Roger hated them when she was here, but
after she left, he wouldn't say a word
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against them.
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He's... He's demented.
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You realize that, right? Look, I'm going
to go get lunch.
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But if you promise to eat something
real, I'll bring you another coffee.
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A turkey sandwich.
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Wicked. Okay, let's start with bread.
Just get me a sandwich, okay?
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Okay.
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Has anyone seen Roger?
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Did he go out, do you know?
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Maybe he's at lunch.
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Have you seen Roger?
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Anyone? Seen Roger.
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Uh, you looking for Roger?
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Ah, there you are.
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Yeah, sorry, just stepped out for a
quick music meeting. No big deal. Want
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walk with me? Uh, sure. Awesome.
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00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:55,920
Um, Roger?
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Yeah, Catherine.
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Caitlin. Caitlin. Yeah.
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Oh, gosh, I need one of those mnemonic
memory palace things.
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I promise if we ever work together, you
will remember my name.
156
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:08,840
Something I can help you with?
157
00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:12,920
Yeah, uh, Bob Freeman wanted to talk to
you. Oh, perfect. I need to call him.
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00:09:13,230 --> 00:09:14,890
Um, he's actually in your office.
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00:09:15,750 --> 00:09:17,530
Bob? Here in my office now?
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Uh -huh.
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Really? Yeah.
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Okay, well, thank you.
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Okay, cool. Caitlin. Yeah?
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Bob, Bob, Bob.
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00:09:27,290 --> 00:09:32,570
Bob, I don't know what you're doing
here, but I have some news for you.
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I already know.
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00:09:35,410 --> 00:09:37,730
How could you... I just came from the
meeting.
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Why'd she do it, Roger?
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00:09:41,230 --> 00:09:42,290
She who?
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00:09:43,470 --> 00:09:44,790
Maggie. Did what?
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She quit.
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Maggie didn't quit. I got a resignation
email yesterday.
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Flew in last night. Met her this
morning. She took an offer from Kahn and
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Partners.
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00:09:58,110 --> 00:10:00,330
Sanjay Kahn is the devil!
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00:10:01,290 --> 00:10:03,190
There's a lot of devils in this
business.
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You don't understand.
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00:10:05,310 --> 00:10:06,310
Understand what?
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You can tell me, Roger.
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00:10:13,420 --> 00:10:14,920
We're family here.
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00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:20,180
Family, like some kind of inverse
different strokes?
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Let it go, son.
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00:10:24,260 --> 00:10:31,240
Maggie, she... In the relationship, she
wanted... I just
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couldn't deliver.
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I fucking knew it.
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It's your fault.
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00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,700
No. I quit.
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00:10:37,980 --> 00:10:42,040
You can't quit. I need you. This agency
needs you.
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00:10:42,510 --> 00:10:47,490
All these people out here need you,
Roger. You are this organization's
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center. Without you, those deaths may as
well be gravestones.
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00:10:52,810 --> 00:10:54,130
I had a gig.
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00:10:55,210 --> 00:10:56,210
Promise me.
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00:10:57,370 --> 00:10:58,370
Promise me.
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00:10:59,750 --> 00:11:02,530
That looks like a good cup of coffee.
195
00:11:02,790 --> 00:11:05,370
What? Do you know what goes great with
coffee?
196
00:11:07,670 --> 00:11:08,670
Chai, actually.
197
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:12,160
You want a sunflower butter and jelly
sandwich?
198
00:11:13,580 --> 00:11:14,580
No, thanks.
199
00:11:14,620 --> 00:11:15,620
Ten bucks.
200
00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:19,840
Five. Nine.
201
00:11:20,140 --> 00:11:23,040
Six. Eight. That's my final offer.
202
00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:26,880
I am not paying eight dollars for that
sandwich.
203
00:11:31,260 --> 00:11:32,740
Hi. Sorry I'm late.
204
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,320
Oh, um, it's all right. I wasn't waiting
long.
205
00:11:35,620 --> 00:11:37,000
I'm amazed you could get away.
206
00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:41,600
I convinced Bob he needed to eat
something, so... Oh, I'm definitely
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00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:42,600
could get that man to eat.
208
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:45,060
Oh, it's easy. He's got to push the
right button.
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00:11:45,940 --> 00:11:47,460
But, um, hey, can I get you something?
210
00:11:48,220 --> 00:11:49,300
I'm not going to work on the pitch.
211
00:11:49,700 --> 00:11:51,380
I'm not going to ask you to work on the
pitch.
212
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:59,220
Well, if this is about Roger, I know
you're sleeping together and I'm fine
213
00:11:59,220 --> 00:12:00,220
it.
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00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:01,300
Sugar.
215
00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:04,660
I'm totally okay with it.
216
00:12:05,690 --> 00:12:10,690
No, um, my mum, she was a bit of a god
-brother and she wouldn't let us wear in
217
00:12:10,690 --> 00:12:16,930
the house, so we used to save sugar
instead of, you know... But I'm an adult
218
00:12:16,930 --> 00:12:21,230
and I should be able to swear if I want
to. Maggie, I need a life belt.
219
00:12:22,770 --> 00:12:23,770
A what?
220
00:12:24,990 --> 00:12:27,670
The ship is not going to right itself
with Roger at the helm.
221
00:12:28,070 --> 00:12:29,510
Oh, do you mean a life jacket?
222
00:12:29,990 --> 00:12:31,450
Yeah, I want off.
223
00:12:31,990 --> 00:12:34,450
And you want me to throw you this life
jacket?
224
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:40,910
I'm so sorry for dragging you down here.
This is ridiculous.
225
00:12:41,370 --> 00:12:42,370
Stop.
226
00:12:43,890 --> 00:12:45,130
Don't walk away from the pitch.
227
00:12:50,250 --> 00:12:51,250
Okay.
228
00:12:53,230 --> 00:12:55,450
Maggie, I'm a big fan and I want to work
for you.
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00:12:57,530 --> 00:12:58,530
Good.
230
00:12:59,230 --> 00:13:00,230
How does that feel?
231
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,900
Roger fucking Newhouse.
232
00:13:09,220 --> 00:13:10,240
Plank Mike.
233
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:12,640
You remembered.
234
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:17,620
I don't believe it. You want to join me?
I'm just waiting for a friend eating a
235
00:13:17,620 --> 00:13:18,620
sandwich.
236
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:20,760
Sure.
237
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:35,800
PB &J.
238
00:13:36,420 --> 00:13:37,420
Classic.
239
00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:40,220
It's actually sunflower nut butter.
240
00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:42,940
Are you allergic to peanuts?
241
00:13:43,620 --> 00:13:45,860
No. It's all she had.
242
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:47,980
You want a bite? No.
243
00:13:48,940 --> 00:13:49,940
No, thanks.
244
00:13:57,540 --> 00:13:59,460
I really want to thank you.
245
00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:01,480
Whoa.
246
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:03,680
Why would you want to thank me?
247
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:05,200
I fired you.
248
00:14:05,900 --> 00:14:08,640
Best thing that ever happened to me.
249
00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:13,060
Look, with the drought, everyone's
growing succulent.
250
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:16,140
I rebranded myself as a succulent
expert.
251
00:14:16,820 --> 00:14:21,260
Now, I spend half as much time watering
and make twice as much money.
252
00:14:22,340 --> 00:14:23,540
Oh, check it out.
253
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:26,220
You inspired me.
254
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:30,980
Everyone remembers the plant guy.
255
00:14:51,980 --> 00:14:52,980
I don't understand.
256
00:15:28,070 --> 00:15:29,530
Dismissing opportunities.
257
00:15:32,690 --> 00:15:35,630
Now it's all about those Benjamin.
258
00:15:38,630 --> 00:15:41,390
Ruled by some dead president.
259
00:15:44,230 --> 00:15:47,390
Follow dollars, don't make no sense.
260
00:15:49,690 --> 00:15:52,970
I'm going to give some water to my
dreams up.
261
00:16:11,630 --> 00:16:12,630
Get my soul free.
262
00:16:19,610 --> 00:16:20,610
Yeah.
263
00:16:33,870 --> 00:16:36,010
Okay. Listen.
264
00:16:39,020 --> 00:16:42,000
I've got like 16 floors of desert
tropical.
265
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:43,280
Count on me.
266
00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:46,120
Be right.
267
00:16:49,100 --> 00:16:50,300
Keep on watering.
268
00:17:22,190 --> 00:17:23,190
Surprise?
269
00:17:23,630 --> 00:17:24,630
Not really.
270
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:29,130
Next time on Bartlett.
271
00:17:29,490 --> 00:17:30,690
It must be Wednesday.
272
00:17:30,990 --> 00:17:31,990
Is the bear down?
273
00:17:32,290 --> 00:17:33,290
Where's Roger?
274
00:17:33,410 --> 00:17:34,930
He'll be back by now.
275
00:17:35,190 --> 00:17:39,450
He's not back here. I will get all of
those jobs back when we win pair.
276
00:17:39,790 --> 00:17:40,790
We?
277
00:17:41,070 --> 00:17:42,630
It's just you, Roger.
278
00:17:44,110 --> 00:17:45,210
It's a fresh start.
279
00:17:45,570 --> 00:17:46,429
Hip hip.
280
00:17:46,430 --> 00:17:47,830
Change is coming, Andy.
281
00:17:48,030 --> 00:17:51,030
Fast and deadly. Like a freight train in
the night.
282
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:55,940
Do you promise to honor, respect, and
especially obey me?
283
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,860
It's time for the Bob and Caitlin Show.
284
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:02,900
Hey, baby, won't you water me?
285
00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:11,560
Nourish my body, let my soul, my soul
free.
286
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:19,140
Hey, baby, won't you water me?
287
00:18:23,379 --> 00:18:28,500
Nourish my body and set my soul free.
288
00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:33,460
Hey, baby, won't you water me?
289
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:38,740
Nourish my body and set my soul free.
Two notes solo. Two notes.
290
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,180
Wrong note, though.
21767
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