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♪ ♪
2
00:00:04,300 --> 00:00:05,500
Oh, God.
3
00:00:05,500 --> 00:00:07,733
BISHOP: My daughter
is not some conquest.
4
00:00:07,733 --> 00:00:10,200
ALPHY:
I can't trust either of you.
5
00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:12,300
Be careful you're not tarring
Meg with the same brush.
6
00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:13,366
MISS SCOTT:
Do you really think
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00:00:13,366 --> 00:00:15,233
I'm just going to retire
to be a housewife?
8
00:00:15,233 --> 00:00:16,666
ALPHY:
Come over for dinner.
9
00:00:16,666 --> 00:00:18,400
Let's call it an apology.
10
00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:20,966
Ooh, I'll be calling it
"Great Expectations."
11
00:00:20,966 --> 00:00:23,333
GEORDIE:
What the hell you playing at?
12
00:00:23,333 --> 00:00:26,966
♪ ♪
13
00:00:27,966 --> 00:00:33,833
♪ ♪
14
00:00:33,833 --> 00:00:36,166
(thunder cracks)
15
00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:38,400
(whimpers)
16
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:39,433
(click)
17
00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:45,133
♪ ♪
18
00:00:50,933 --> 00:00:54,500
♪ ♪
19
00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:00,466
♪ ♪
20
00:01:00,466 --> 00:01:02,266
(house door opens)
21
00:01:03,333 --> 00:01:05,600
MRS. CHAPMAN:
There you are-- come on!
22
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:08,366
Chop-chop.
23
00:01:08,366 --> 00:01:10,100
(phone ringing)
24
00:01:10,100 --> 00:01:11,100
(receiver picks up)
25
00:01:11,100 --> 00:01:12,300
ALPHY:
Vicarage.
26
00:01:12,300 --> 00:01:14,700
GEORDIE (on phone):
So, first date.
27
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:18,066
All ready for dinner
with Minxy Meg the librarian?
28
00:01:18,066 --> 00:01:20,400
ALPHY: I would be if I wasn't
on the phone to you.
29
00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:21,900
GEORDIE:
What's on the menu?
30
00:01:21,900 --> 00:01:24,833
ALPHY: For starters, I've made
chicken liver pâté.
31
00:01:24,833 --> 00:01:26,833
GEORDIE:
Right, let me stop you there.
32
00:01:26,833 --> 00:01:28,200
Chicken liver?
33
00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:30,966
ALPHY:
It's quick. It's tasty.
34
00:01:30,966 --> 00:01:32,733
GEORDIE: It's the liver
of a chicken, Alphy.
35
00:01:32,733 --> 00:01:35,466
ALPHY (chuckles):
And offal doesn't say romance?
36
00:01:37,766 --> 00:01:38,866
(whines)
37
00:01:38,866 --> 00:01:40,666
GEORDIE:
What's the main course? Tripe?
38
00:01:40,666 --> 00:01:43,233
ALPHY:
You really aren't helping
my nerves here, Geordie.
39
00:01:43,233 --> 00:01:44,566
GEORDIE:
Ah, you got nothing
to worry about.
40
00:01:44,566 --> 00:01:45,600
(cutlery rattling)
41
00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:46,933
ALPHY:
What if she hates the dog,
42
00:01:46,933 --> 00:01:49,833
or I give her food poisoning?
43
00:01:49,833 --> 00:01:52,766
GEORDIE:
Well, you've got those things
to worry about, sure.
44
00:01:52,766 --> 00:01:55,633
Alphy, you're delightful.
45
00:01:55,633 --> 00:01:57,266
And she's delightful.
46
00:01:57,266 --> 00:01:59,133
Don't overthink it.
47
00:01:59,133 --> 00:02:01,000
Don't overthink it--
I can do that.
48
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,166
And the flowers?
49
00:02:02,166 --> 00:02:03,166
Flowers?
50
00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:04,966
Have you got flowers?
51
00:02:04,966 --> 00:02:06,366
Should I have flowers?
52
00:02:07,366 --> 00:02:08,466
The boy's an amateur.
53
00:02:08,466 --> 00:02:13,500
♪ ♪
54
00:02:16,766 --> 00:02:18,733
Sorry.
55
00:02:18,733 --> 00:02:21,066
Oh, I say!
56
00:02:21,066 --> 00:02:22,833
What a to-do!
57
00:02:22,833 --> 00:02:26,966
What a to-do! What a to-do!
(Cathy and girls laughing)
58
00:02:26,966 --> 00:02:30,033
(music playing,
audience applauding on TV)
59
00:02:30,033 --> 00:02:31,500
CATHY:
Oh-- oh.
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00:02:31,500 --> 00:02:32,866
Oh, I say.
61
00:02:32,866 --> 00:02:35,333
What a to-do!
What a to-do!
62
00:02:35,333 --> 00:02:37,733
(Cathy and girls laughing)
What a to-do!
63
00:02:37,733 --> 00:02:40,800
(laughter continues)
64
00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,133
Oh, do it again,
David!
65
00:02:43,133 --> 00:02:44,866
He's such a card!
66
00:02:44,866 --> 00:02:46,066
Go on, David--
show him.
67
00:02:46,066 --> 00:02:47,733
DORA:
It's hilarious.
68
00:02:47,733 --> 00:02:48,866
(laughing)
69
00:02:48,866 --> 00:02:51,866
(music playing,
audience laughing on TV)
70
00:02:53,333 --> 00:02:55,500
(grunts)
(phone ringing, TV switches off)
71
00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:57,566
CATHY:
What you doing?
We were watching that!
72
00:02:57,566 --> 00:03:00,133
GEORDIE:
Don't happen to think
it's very funny, that's all.
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00:03:00,133 --> 00:03:02,466
(phone ringing)
74
00:03:00,133 --> 00:03:02,466
(phone ringing)
75
00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:06,766
Hello?
(Cathy laughing)
76
00:03:06,766 --> 00:03:07,866
LARRY (on phone):
Boss.
77
00:03:07,866 --> 00:03:09,100
Sorry to call you
on your night off.
78
00:03:09,100 --> 00:03:11,000
(Cathy and girls
laughing)
79
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,000
Boss?
80
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,500
Uh, I'm here.
81
00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:14,566
What is it, Larry?
82
00:03:14,566 --> 00:03:18,933
♪ ♪
83
00:03:18,933 --> 00:03:19,966
What do we think?
84
00:03:24,033 --> 00:03:25,033
(exhales)
85
00:03:25,033 --> 00:03:26,933
She's the bishop's daughter.
86
00:03:26,933 --> 00:03:29,266
God forbid she sees
my clavicle.
87
00:03:29,266 --> 00:03:31,333
This could be
the future Mrs. Kottaram.
88
00:03:31,333 --> 00:03:34,533
Whoa, whoa, let's not
get ahead of ourselves.
89
00:03:34,533 --> 00:03:37,433
One error could ruin
your entire future.
90
00:03:38,733 --> 00:03:41,700
Oh, well, that's put me
at ease, thank you.
91
00:03:41,700 --> 00:03:46,966
♪ ♪
92
00:03:46,966 --> 00:03:48,933
(softly):
Aw.
93
00:03:48,933 --> 00:03:50,900
You want me to go, don't you?
94
00:03:50,900 --> 00:03:52,700
Very much so, yes.
(knock at door)
95
00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:53,766
(gasps): Ooh!
I'll get it.
96
00:03:53,766 --> 00:03:58,666
♪ ♪
97
00:03:58,666 --> 00:03:59,700
(exhales)
98
00:04:00,933 --> 00:04:01,933
Miss Grey.
99
00:04:01,933 --> 00:04:03,766
Mrs. Chapman.
100
00:04:03,766 --> 00:04:05,800
Uh, she's just leaving.
101
00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:07,900
Aren't you looking smashing?
102
00:04:07,900 --> 00:04:09,600
Doesn't she look smashing?
103
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:11,633
Love to Jack, Mrs. C.
104
00:04:11,633 --> 00:04:13,400
He's been a bag of nerves
all day, bless him.
105
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:14,466
All afluster.
106
00:04:14,466 --> 00:04:15,966
Not, not really.
107
00:04:15,966 --> 00:04:17,133
Liar.
108
00:04:17,133 --> 00:04:18,800
(inhales):
Do you like sloe gin?
109
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,333
I can't say I've ever tried it.
110
00:04:21,333 --> 00:04:22,933
I'll get out
my special batch.
111
00:04:22,933 --> 00:04:25,433
Usually only comes out
at funerals.
112
00:04:25,433 --> 00:04:27,100
Oh, that funeral
can be arranged.
113
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,566
Hm?
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00:04:30,166 --> 00:04:32,333
Have fun.
115
00:04:32,333 --> 00:04:33,833
Not too much fun.
116
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(door opens)
117
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(door closes)
You do, by the way.
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Do what?
119
00:04:44,133 --> 00:04:45,833
Look smashing.
120
00:04:45,833 --> 00:04:48,266
(chuckles):
Thank you.
121
00:04:48,266 --> 00:04:49,300
Likewise.
122
00:04:53,166 --> 00:04:56,133
(door opens)
123
00:04:56,133 --> 00:04:57,833
Alphy, can we make a pact?
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Sure.
125
00:05:00,666 --> 00:05:01,766
That if this evening
126
00:05:01,766 --> 00:05:02,766
doesn't work out...
127
00:05:02,766 --> 00:05:05,033
If we run out of things to say.
128
00:05:05,033 --> 00:05:06,033
Or I
129
00:05:06,033 --> 00:05:07,833
insult your cooking.
Or we
130
00:05:07,833 --> 00:05:09,833
disagree on politics?
Or there's just...
131
00:05:09,833 --> 00:05:12,666
...absolutely no spark.
132
00:05:12,666 --> 00:05:13,666
(chuckles)
133
00:05:13,666 --> 00:05:15,133
Then we shake hands
134
00:05:15,133 --> 00:05:16,433
and part on good terms.
135
00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:19,700
Maybe meet for a coffee
once in a while?
136
00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:22,733
That's not gonna happen.
137
00:05:22,733 --> 00:05:24,566
No?
138
00:05:24,566 --> 00:05:26,666
I can't stand coffee.
139
00:05:26,666 --> 00:05:28,833
(both chuckle)
140
00:05:28,833 --> 00:05:32,933
♪ ♪
141
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,700
LARRY:
And what time did you
last see her alive?
142
00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:36,966
(man responds)
Wakey, wakey.
143
00:05:36,966 --> 00:05:39,800
(snoring)
LARRY:
Are you sure about that?
144
00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:41,266
(man responds)
(snorting)
145
00:05:41,266 --> 00:05:43,100
GEORDIE:
Drunk as a skunk.
146
00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:45,933
(sighs):
Why does it always have
to be Saturday night?
147
00:05:45,933 --> 00:05:48,066
Do you know what Saturday night
should be, Larry?
148
00:05:48,066 --> 00:05:49,066
Steak and onions?
149
00:05:49,066 --> 00:05:50,700
GEORDIE:
Steak and onions.
150
00:05:50,700 --> 00:05:52,866
♪ ♪
151
00:05:52,866 --> 00:05:55,166
GEORDIE:
Stab wound.
152
00:05:55,166 --> 00:05:57,766
Narrow blade,
by the looks of it.
153
00:05:57,766 --> 00:05:59,066
LARRY:
Mrs. Tassell ran the place.
154
00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:02,733
Mrs. Tassell?
155
00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:02,733
Mrs. Tassell?
156
00:06:02,733 --> 00:06:04,966
Of Tassell's strip club.
157
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:07,633
The club isn't named after her.
158
00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:10,633
Isn't it?
Have you never been to
159
00:06:10,633 --> 00:06:12,266
a strip club, Larry?
160
00:06:12,266 --> 00:06:13,333
Whole thing makes me
feel a bit
161
00:06:13,333 --> 00:06:15,166
queasy, if I'm honest.
162
00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:16,900
I can explain it to him,
if you want.
163
00:06:16,900 --> 00:06:19,000
No, not necessary, Miss...?
164
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:22,333
Kitty-- but you can call me
whatever you like, sweetheart.
165
00:06:22,333 --> 00:06:24,066
Kitty'll do.
166
00:06:24,066 --> 00:06:25,500
Where's the cash?
167
00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:27,233
Should be in that box.
168
00:06:27,233 --> 00:06:28,733
LARRY:
Uh, Stanley here's
the doorman.
169
00:06:28,733 --> 00:06:30,800
Doorman, barman.
170
00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:32,200
General dogsbody.
171
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:33,266
Busy night?
172
00:06:33,266 --> 00:06:35,100
Yeah, should be a good
50 quid in there.
173
00:06:35,100 --> 00:06:37,233
Some bugger's nicked it.
174
00:06:39,033 --> 00:06:40,566
So, she's sitting here.
175
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:42,233
Watching Joan give
her Salome.
176
00:06:43,933 --> 00:06:45,433
That one's lost on me, too.
177
00:06:45,433 --> 00:06:47,066
Midway through,
she just slumped.
178
00:06:47,066 --> 00:06:48,966
Girls thought
she'd had one too many.
179
00:06:48,966 --> 00:06:50,233
She always has
one too many.
180
00:06:51,233 --> 00:06:52,400
No one stabbed her?
181
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:53,833
No one touched her.
182
00:06:53,833 --> 00:06:55,733
She just...
183
00:06:55,733 --> 00:06:57,900
Like great big sack
of potatoes.
184
00:06:59,033 --> 00:07:00,233
Where were you?
185
00:07:00,233 --> 00:07:02,400
Upstairs, on the door.
186
00:07:03,633 --> 00:07:06,300
I want all these fellas
interviewed.
187
00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:07,666
Any other girls?
188
00:07:07,666 --> 00:07:09,300
Joan.
189
00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:11,300
I'll want to talk
to her, too.
190
00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:12,900
You'll have a hard job
of that.
191
00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:14,233
She left with the vicar.
192
00:07:15,566 --> 00:07:18,133
The vicar?
193
00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:23,466
♪ ♪
194
00:07:23,466 --> 00:07:25,000
You wait there
for me.
195
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,200
Follow me, sir.
196
00:07:29,133 --> 00:07:33,866
♪ ♪
197
00:07:33,866 --> 00:07:34,966
(car door closes)
198
00:07:42,700 --> 00:07:43,966
Mind your head.
199
00:07:43,966 --> 00:07:46,400
Thank you, handsome.
200
00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:49,900
Pack it in.
(car door closes)
201
00:07:52,933 --> 00:07:53,966
Sneaky Pete's.
202
00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:56,333
(car door opens)
Know where it is?
203
00:07:56,333 --> 00:07:58,900
Down by the river.
204
00:07:58,900 --> 00:08:01,200
Maybe there's a bit
of rivalry going on.
205
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:02,333
What do you reckon?
206
00:08:02,333 --> 00:08:03,666
Sneaky Pete's bumping off
the competition?
207
00:08:03,666 --> 00:08:06,133
Uh, get down there,
see what you can find.
208
00:08:06,133 --> 00:08:07,500
Oh, and get uniform
on the lookout
209
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:08,966
for a stripper and a vicar.
210
00:08:08,966 --> 00:08:10,766
LARRY:
Shouldn't be too hard to find.
Kitty!
211
00:08:10,766 --> 00:08:13,900
♪ ♪
212
00:08:13,900 --> 00:08:16,466
Make that two strippers
and a vicar.
213
00:08:16,466 --> 00:08:19,733
♪ ♪
214
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:22,100
Bon appétit.
215
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:29,300
It's more edible than it looks.
216
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:31,200
I'm not going
to make love to you.
217
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:32,866
I'm sorry?
218
00:08:32,866 --> 00:08:34,600
I just want to get that
out of the way
219
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,066
so that there isn't
any expectation.
220
00:08:37,066 --> 00:08:39,700
There aren't any expectations.
221
00:08:39,700 --> 00:08:41,100
So the candlelight?
222
00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:43,066
And the flowers?
223
00:08:43,066 --> 00:08:44,966
The flowers weren't my idea.
224
00:08:44,966 --> 00:08:46,400
Just feels a bit
225
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:47,400
woo-ey.
226
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:48,500
Woo-ey?
227
00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:50,066
I just don't want
you expecting
228
00:08:50,066 --> 00:08:52,933
we'll go straight to
the main course, as it were.
229
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:56,433
(chuckling):
All I was expecting
was some good conversation.
230
00:08:56,433 --> 00:08:58,533
Not even a bit of kissing?
231
00:08:58,533 --> 00:09:00,666
Well, I didn't like to presume.
232
00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:03,600
Glad to hear it.
(house door opens)
233
00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:03,600
Glad to hear it.
(house door opens)
234
00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:04,600
MRS. CHAPMAN (calling):
Yoo-hoo!
235
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:05,800
Only me!
236
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:06,966
(house door closes)
237
00:09:06,966 --> 00:09:09,033
I'll be right back.
238
00:09:09,033 --> 00:09:10,100
(clears throat softly)
239
00:09:11,833 --> 00:09:12,966
I couldn't leave.
240
00:09:12,966 --> 00:09:15,000
Yes, you could.
241
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,466
Just found these two wandering
242
00:09:16,466 --> 00:09:18,433
in the churchyard.
243
00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:21,000
If he calls me "poppet" once,
244
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,466
I will not be responsible
for my actions.
245
00:09:23,466 --> 00:09:26,633
♪ ♪
246
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,633
LANE (quietly):
Everything's going to be fine.
247
00:09:32,633 --> 00:09:34,266
David?
248
00:09:34,266 --> 00:09:37,533
Alphy, my boy.
249
00:09:37,533 --> 00:09:38,533
How are we?
250
00:09:38,533 --> 00:09:40,466
Busy, as it happens.
251
00:09:40,466 --> 00:09:41,466
This is Joan.
252
00:09:41,466 --> 00:09:43,800
The reverend's niece.
253
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,466
(slowly):
Your niece.
254
00:09:45,466 --> 00:09:47,133
Apparently so.
255
00:09:48,133 --> 00:09:50,333
Joan, Alphy--
it's a pleasure.
256
00:09:50,333 --> 00:09:52,333
Pleasure's all mine,
darling.
257
00:09:52,333 --> 00:09:53,533
Is the study free?
258
00:09:53,533 --> 00:09:56,200
Now is really not
a good time.
259
00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:57,633
I wouldn't be asking
if it wasn't
260
00:09:57,633 --> 00:09:59,300
of vital clerical
importance.
261
00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:01,000
Can't you go
to the bishop?
262
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:04,800
(gulps):
No. No. He cannot know
about any of this.
263
00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:07,333
MEG:
I don't mean to be alarmist,
but you've cremated the toa...
264
00:10:08,666 --> 00:10:10,800
Mr. Lane.
265
00:10:11,833 --> 00:10:14,033
David, you know Miss Grey.
266
00:10:14,033 --> 00:10:15,500
The bishop's daughter.
267
00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:17,433
Of course.
268
00:10:17,433 --> 00:10:20,000
(exhales):
The bishop's daughter.
269
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,800
(chuckling):
Well, this is, um...
270
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:24,500
This really is, um...
271
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:26,633
Isn't it just?
272
00:10:29,466 --> 00:10:33,533
(softly):
Alphy, I know we haven't
always seen eye to eye,
273
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:36,033
but I really need your help.
274
00:10:42,666 --> 00:10:44,100
Do you mind?
275
00:10:44,100 --> 00:10:47,333
Who am I to get in the way
of vital clerical importance?
276
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,166
(exhales)
277
00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:55,166
How do you feel
about burnt toast?
278
00:10:55,166 --> 00:10:57,166
(door closes)
Quite partial, as it happens.
279
00:10:57,166 --> 00:10:59,233
Marvelous-- shall we?
280
00:10:59,233 --> 00:11:00,900
Can I take your coat, miss?
281
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,700
Probably best if you don't.
282
00:11:04,700 --> 00:11:06,700
♪ ♪
283
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:09,033
With regard to my niece...
284
00:11:09,033 --> 00:11:11,266
David, we both know
she's not your niece.
285
00:11:11,266 --> 00:11:14,000
The thing is,
she's in a touch of bother.
286
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,000
(knock at house door)
The kind
that requires sanctuary.
287
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,400
Technically, that only
applies to the church.
288
00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,666
Yes, we tried the church--
it was locked.
289
00:11:20,666 --> 00:11:23,366
What are you seeking
sanctuary from, exactly?
290
00:11:23,366 --> 00:11:24,366
Well, in...
291
00:11:24,366 --> 00:11:25,800
(exhales):
In a roundabout way,
292
00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:27,766
it's all to do
with King Herod.
293
00:11:27,766 --> 00:11:30,200
MRS. CHAPMAN:
Alphy! Visitor!
294
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:34,266
♪ ♪
295
00:11:34,266 --> 00:11:35,266
(door opens)
296
00:11:35,266 --> 00:11:36,733
Is the vicar here?
297
00:11:36,733 --> 00:11:38,866
Which one?
David.
298
00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:39,933
He'll do, though!
299
00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:43,233
Hello, handsome.
Hello.
300
00:11:43,233 --> 00:11:45,033
He said he'd be
in the church,
301
00:11:45,033 --> 00:11:46,733
but it's locked.
Ah.
302
00:11:46,733 --> 00:11:48,366
Another niece?
303
00:11:48,366 --> 00:11:49,533
Oh, no.
304
00:11:49,533 --> 00:11:51,200
I'm here 'cause of the murder.
(door opens)
305
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,000
♪ ♪
306
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,000
(exhales)
307
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,733
How'd you find me?
308
00:11:55,733 --> 00:11:57,266
Bike-- car.
309
00:11:57,266 --> 00:11:58,500
Who's he calling a bike?
310
00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:00,400
We followed you, Kit.
311
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:01,933
Oh.
312
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:01,933
Oh.
313
00:12:01,933 --> 00:12:03,966
GEORDIE:
Think I'd better come in.
314
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:07,233
♪ ♪
315
00:12:07,233 --> 00:12:08,800
(softly):
I think you'd better.
316
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:12,400
♪ ♪
317
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,966
(dog barking in distance)
318
00:12:20,966 --> 00:12:26,000
♪ ♪
319
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,766
♪ ♪
320
00:12:32,766 --> 00:12:34,133
(knocks)
321
00:12:37,933 --> 00:12:40,366
(door opens)
322
00:12:40,366 --> 00:12:41,400
Is now a good time?
323
00:12:42,633 --> 00:12:46,566
(exhales):
Well, it depends on
your definition of "good."
324
00:12:49,433 --> 00:12:52,333
Daniel and I have had
the most dreadful argument.
(door closes)
325
00:12:52,333 --> 00:12:54,166
I said he's been away
far too long.
326
00:12:54,166 --> 00:12:57,400
He called me self-centered---
me!
327
00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,233
I'm not the one who thinks
the world revolves around him.
328
00:12:59,233 --> 00:13:01,100
I'm not the one who acts
like no one else exists.
329
00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:02,233
Leonard.
330
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:07,833
Oh.
331
00:13:07,833 --> 00:13:10,200
Hello!
332
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:12,666
Well, this looks, um...
333
00:13:14,266 --> 00:13:16,466
Do you know, I'm not actually
sure what this looks like.
334
00:13:16,466 --> 00:13:19,200
It's a copper, two vicars,
two strippers.
335
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:20,333
You're strippers?!
336
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:22,566
I prefer "carnal artiste."
337
00:13:23,866 --> 00:13:26,066
I'm just here for the food.
338
00:13:26,066 --> 00:13:27,700
Well, I should
probably just go...
KITTY: No.
339
00:13:27,700 --> 00:13:29,833
Stay, why don't you?
340
00:13:31,300 --> 00:13:34,233
Yeah, stay, why don't you?
341
00:13:34,233 --> 00:13:35,300
LEONARD:
This is nice.
342
00:13:37,933 --> 00:13:39,166
Hello, handsome.
343
00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:40,666
(Kitty giggles)
GEORDIE:
Everyone who witnessed
344
00:13:40,666 --> 00:13:42,066
a murder today, hands up.
345
00:13:45,066 --> 00:13:46,900
Right, you lot, statements.
346
00:13:46,900 --> 00:13:48,400
Starting with you.
347
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:52,500
♪ ♪
348
00:14:00,866 --> 00:14:01,900
Geordie.
349
00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:04,366
I'm on a date.
350
00:14:04,366 --> 00:14:06,266
Correction-- you were on a date.
(door opens)
351
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,533
You're not leaving, are you?
352
00:14:09,533 --> 00:14:11,100
I'm a librarian.
(chuckles)
353
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:12,633
A librarian who is also
354
00:14:12,633 --> 00:14:14,633
a bishop's daughter.
(sighs)
355
00:14:16,233 --> 00:14:17,933
Not your usual dinner guests.
356
00:14:17,933 --> 00:14:20,600
It's not the girls
that I object to.
357
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:22,633
It's that horrid little man.
358
00:14:22,633 --> 00:14:24,466
Reverend Lane.
359
00:14:24,466 --> 00:14:27,466
Yeah, well, I nearly
punched him once, so...
360
00:14:27,466 --> 00:14:30,200
I don't usually advocate
violence, but in his case...
361
00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:31,300
Stay.
362
00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:33,466
Please.
363
00:14:33,466 --> 00:14:35,233
There's crumble.
364
00:14:35,233 --> 00:14:36,733
(people talking in background)
365
00:14:36,733 --> 00:14:38,566
I do love crumble.
366
00:14:38,566 --> 00:14:40,733
It will just be the two of us
soon, I, I promise.
367
00:14:40,733 --> 00:14:42,633
Anyone hungry?
368
00:14:42,633 --> 00:14:44,766
He's made my famous coq au vin.
369
00:14:44,766 --> 00:14:47,633
LEONARD: I'm rather partial
to a coq au vin myself.
(Kitty giggles)
370
00:14:47,633 --> 00:14:49,633
JOAN:
Aren't we all, darling?
371
00:14:49,633 --> 00:14:51,200
MRS. CHAPMAN:
Leonard, you get the plates.
372
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:52,900
Just the two of us, you say?
373
00:14:52,900 --> 00:14:54,433
Yeah, but...
GEORDIE:
Alphy?!
374
00:14:54,433 --> 00:14:55,700
(plates clattering)
375
00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:57,266
I'll be right back.
376
00:15:01,666 --> 00:15:02,966
(door closes)
377
00:15:04,266 --> 00:15:05,466
Truth time, Reverend.
378
00:15:07,333 --> 00:15:08,466
Which one?
379
00:15:09,966 --> 00:15:12,166
You.
What were you doing
at the strip club?
380
00:15:12,166 --> 00:15:13,200
One might ask what you're doing
381
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:14,200
cavorting with
the bishop's daughter.
382
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:15,500
I don't think the two
383
00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:16,866
are morally
equivalent, David.
384
00:15:18,666 --> 00:15:21,433
I minister to the girls.
385
00:15:21,433 --> 00:15:23,833
Stanley says you helped them
with their artistry.
386
00:15:23,833 --> 00:15:26,066
Well, they needed direction.
387
00:15:26,066 --> 00:15:28,966
Before I stepped in,
Kitty looked like she was
388
00:15:28,966 --> 00:15:30,766
hurling grenades at enemy lines.
389
00:15:30,766 --> 00:15:33,166
Come on, David,
this isn't about artistry.
390
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:35,533
Jesus befriended the destitute,
391
00:15:35,533 --> 00:15:39,400
the tax collectors,
the prostitutes.
392
00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:41,666
I am just following
his fine example.
393
00:15:41,666 --> 00:15:43,333
Funny.
394
00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:45,466
You didn't choose to hang about
down the tax office.
395
00:15:45,466 --> 00:15:47,833
These girls are troubled.
396
00:15:47,833 --> 00:15:49,366
They're drunks...
397
00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:51,366
They're also,
I'm not sure if you've noticed,
398
00:15:51,366 --> 00:15:53,333
cavorting about
in their birthday suits.
399
00:15:53,333 --> 00:15:56,600
(laughs):
It's all very tasteful.
400
00:15:56,600 --> 00:16:00,800
They keep their
harvest festivals firmly on.
401
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:02,066
Their what?
402
00:16:02,066 --> 00:16:03,366
Their drawers.
403
00:16:03,366 --> 00:16:05,833
I call them
their harvest festivals
404
00:16:05,833 --> 00:16:08,066
because "all is safely
gathered in."
405
00:16:10,566 --> 00:16:11,566
The woman who died.
406
00:16:11,566 --> 00:16:12,966
Madam.
407
00:16:12,966 --> 00:16:15,233
You saw what happened
to her?
Yes.
408
00:16:15,233 --> 00:16:16,866
♪ ♪
409
00:16:16,866 --> 00:16:18,000
So what happened?
410
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,366
I have absolutely no idea.
411
00:16:20,366 --> 00:16:24,866
♪ ♪
412
00:16:27,300 --> 00:16:29,300
Well, she just
slumped.
413
00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:30,566
No one went near her.
414
00:16:30,566 --> 00:16:31,733
And nobody touched her.
415
00:16:31,733 --> 00:16:32,733
She just carked it.
416
00:16:32,733 --> 00:16:34,833
Right there in
the back row.
417
00:16:34,833 --> 00:16:36,900
Sounds like a heart attack
to me.
418
00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:38,466
Or a brain aneurism.
419
00:16:38,466 --> 00:16:40,033
Well, either that or
whatever stabbed her
420
00:16:40,033 --> 00:16:41,566
in the back
of the neck.
421
00:16:41,566 --> 00:16:43,633
Aneurism-- aren't you clever?
422
00:16:43,633 --> 00:16:46,100
JOAN:
You're not his cup of tea, Kit.
423
00:16:47,233 --> 00:16:48,800
KITTY:
Oh!
How can you tell?
424
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,400
I just can.
425
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:51,866
It's innate, I reckon.
426
00:16:51,866 --> 00:16:54,133
From birth.
427
00:16:56,166 --> 00:16:58,533
So there was no sign
of a weapon?
None.
428
00:16:58,533 --> 00:16:59,633
STANLEY:
Like the hand of God
429
00:16:59,633 --> 00:17:01,366
took her.
MEG:
In novels,
430
00:17:01,366 --> 00:17:03,400
it's always an icicle.
431
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:06,466
The weapon just melts away--
ingenious.
432
00:17:06,466 --> 00:17:08,066
Uh, so the Madam...
433
00:17:08,066 --> 00:17:09,133
Not the Madam.
434
00:17:09,133 --> 00:17:10,466
She's not a madam.
435
00:17:10,466 --> 00:17:11,700
We're not on the game.
436
00:17:11,700 --> 00:17:13,800
Cover your ears.
437
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,566
She just called herself
"Madam" because it sounded...
438
00:17:16,566 --> 00:17:18,600
Classy?
439
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:20,533
I suppose it adds a bit
of je ne sais quoi.
440
00:17:20,533 --> 00:17:21,900
Bien sûr.
441
00:17:21,900 --> 00:17:23,466
(Joan giggles)
(giggles)
442
00:17:23,466 --> 00:17:27,000
So she never forced you
to go with the customers?
443
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,066
Give them a few...
444
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:30,933
You know, added extras?
445
00:17:30,933 --> 00:17:32,133
No.
446
00:17:32,133 --> 00:17:33,433
(laughing):
No.
447
00:17:33,433 --> 00:17:35,066
Not unless we wanted to,
of course.
448
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:37,766
So Madam was well-liked.
449
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:39,600
STANLEY:
Well, she wasn't
a saint nor nothing,
450
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:40,966
but she wasn't all bad.
451
00:17:40,966 --> 00:17:42,366
She was horrible
to you, Stanley.
452
00:17:42,366 --> 00:17:44,633
There's no need
to be kind.
453
00:17:44,633 --> 00:17:46,566
She was a mean as a
rattlesnake, she was.
454
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,033
KITTY:
I was quite fond of her.
455
00:17:48,033 --> 00:17:49,966
The customers,
on the other hand...
456
00:17:49,966 --> 00:17:51,700
Pigs, I imagine.
457
00:17:51,700 --> 00:17:53,600
That's men for you.
Amen to that, darling.
458
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:55,133
Amen.
459
00:17:58,733 --> 00:18:00,300
(swallows):
Top-up, anyone?
460
00:18:02,366 --> 00:18:04,600
Stanley.
461
00:18:06,466 --> 00:18:09,566
ALPHY:
So, you collect the entrance
fee when the punters arrive?
462
00:18:09,566 --> 00:18:12,200
Well, V.I.Ps. get
a green raffle ticket.
463
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:13,900
Everybody else gets a plain one.
464
00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:16,100
And what does being
a V.I.P. get you?
465
00:18:16,100 --> 00:18:18,566
Free drinks,
chat with the girls.
466
00:18:18,566 --> 00:18:20,633
Only way in and out
is the stairs?
467
00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:22,133
That's right.
468
00:18:22,133 --> 00:18:24,800
So everyone had to come
past you.
469
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:26,766
Do you have a guest list?
STANLEY:
We're not the kind
470
00:18:26,766 --> 00:18:28,366
of establishment
where people want to leave
471
00:18:28,366 --> 00:18:29,833
their names.
GEORDIE:
Course not.
472
00:18:29,833 --> 00:18:33,533
That would be far too easy.
473
00:18:33,533 --> 00:18:34,800
What about David?
474
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:36,433
How often's he in?
475
00:18:36,433 --> 00:18:37,466
Most nights.
476
00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:40,133
And he and Madam?
477
00:18:40,133 --> 00:18:41,566
Oh, got on a treat.
478
00:18:41,566 --> 00:18:42,833
He's a convivial chap.
479
00:18:42,833 --> 00:18:45,500
Convivial?
That's one word for it.
480
00:18:46,933 --> 00:18:50,166
I didn't get much schooling
when I were a boy.
481
00:18:50,166 --> 00:18:52,933
He takes the time
to sit with me.
482
00:18:52,933 --> 00:18:54,166
Helps me read the paper.
483
00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:59,500
(phone ringing)
484
00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:01,333
Vicarage.
485
00:19:01,333 --> 00:19:03,833
Larry?
Larry.
486
00:19:03,833 --> 00:19:05,166
Thank you, Stanley.
487
00:19:08,700 --> 00:19:10,566
Madam could be cruel.
488
00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:13,233
But she gave
this lame old fool a job
489
00:19:13,233 --> 00:19:15,233
when nobody else would, so...
490
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:20,966
What you got for me, Larry?
491
00:19:20,966 --> 00:19:23,200
Few complaints about the club.
492
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:24,533
Loud music.
493
00:19:24,533 --> 00:19:27,133
Drunks passed out on doorsteps.
494
00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:30,866
But then there's this fella,
Sneaky Pete.
495
00:19:30,866 --> 00:19:32,133
The rival club owner.
496
00:19:32,133 --> 00:19:34,633
Larry, there is
no Sneaky Pete.
497
00:19:34,633 --> 00:19:37,566
No, there is-- Peter White.
498
00:19:37,566 --> 00:19:39,800
Sneaky as they come, apparently.
499
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:41,633
Well, him and the Madam
500
00:19:41,633 --> 00:19:43,400
had a bit of
argy-bargy recently.
501
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,800
And it's not "the Madam," it--
oh, never mind.
502
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:48,100
What was the
argument about?
503
00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:49,700
What was the argument about?
504
00:19:49,700 --> 00:19:51,900
Decency, apparently.
505
00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:53,966
Decency?
506
00:19:53,966 --> 00:19:56,066
Between two rival
strip clubs?
507
00:19:56,066 --> 00:19:58,633
Sneaky Pete's been stealing.
508
00:19:58,633 --> 00:20:00,366
Stealing what?
509
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,133
♪ ♪
510
00:20:02,133 --> 00:20:03,900
ALPHY:
Girls.
511
00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:05,300
♪ ♪
512
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:10,066
(people talking in background)
513
00:20:10,066 --> 00:20:11,766
Just helping myself.
514
00:20:11,766 --> 00:20:14,333
Hope you don't mind.
515
00:20:14,333 --> 00:20:17,566
(people talking and laughing
in background)
516
00:20:17,566 --> 00:20:18,666
GEORDIE:
Kitty?
517
00:20:25,033 --> 00:20:26,200
What's this
about Sneaky Pete?
518
00:20:27,833 --> 00:20:29,366
ALPHY
You were dancing for him, too.
519
00:20:29,366 --> 00:20:31,500
And Madam was not
happy about it.
520
00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:33,200
I dance in a lot of places.
521
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:34,466
There's no harm in that.
522
00:20:34,466 --> 00:20:36,700
Gives you motive.
523
00:20:36,700 --> 00:20:39,166
You kill Madam to escape
her evil clutches.
524
00:20:39,166 --> 00:20:40,233
With an icicle.
525
00:20:40,233 --> 00:20:41,533
That goes without saying.
526
00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:44,133
I was behind the curtain
the entire time.
527
00:20:44,133 --> 00:20:45,233
Good ten feet away.
528
00:20:45,233 --> 00:20:47,800
GEORDIE:
You got a lot of
admirers, Kitty?
529
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:49,900
KITTY: A few.
And the rest.
(chuckles)
530
00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:52,600
She's our little birthday
cake, aren't you, Kit?
531
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:54,200
Everyone's had a piece.
532
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,000
(laughs)
Joan!
533
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,000
I don't mind--
it's the truth.
534
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,400
Any of those admirers there
last night?
KITTY: Well, yeah.
535
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,566
Obviously.
The Reverend.
536
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,566
Obviously.
The Reverend.
537
00:21:02,566 --> 00:21:03,966
JOAN:
He follows her around
wherever she goes.
538
00:21:03,966 --> 00:21:05,800
He's her knight
in shining armor.
539
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:08,333
(laughs)
Well, he's sweet, really.
540
00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:10,166
I mean...
541
00:21:10,166 --> 00:21:11,533
A weirdo, but,
542
00:21:11,533 --> 00:21:13,800
you know,
still sweet.
543
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:15,933
It's probably him
what done it.
544
00:21:18,700 --> 00:21:20,066
(sighs)
545
00:21:23,866 --> 00:21:26,433
(engine grinding)
546
00:21:26,433 --> 00:21:29,200
Is that your car?
547
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,600
(engine grinding)
548
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:33,200
Come on.
549
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,500
(engine starts)
550
00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:36,033
You move one inch,
I will...
551
00:21:36,033 --> 00:21:37,400
Punch my lights out?
552
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:38,633
You threatened me once before.
553
00:21:38,633 --> 00:21:41,400
Yeah? Well, this time,
I mean it.
554
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,733
I'd listen to him,
if I were you.
555
00:21:43,733 --> 00:21:45,466
♪ ♪
556
00:21:49,233 --> 00:21:51,066
I am a sinner.
557
00:21:53,566 --> 00:21:57,700
I have impure thoughts,
558
00:21:57,700 --> 00:22:01,200
ones I try very hard
not to indulge.
559
00:22:03,100 --> 00:22:05,533
Helping the girls, it,
560
00:22:05,533 --> 00:22:08,700
um...
Stops those impure
thoughts?
561
00:22:08,700 --> 00:22:10,500
I offer them financial aid.
562
00:22:10,500 --> 00:22:13,666
I help with, with their...
563
00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:14,666
Artistry?
564
00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:16,133
Absolutely.
565
00:22:16,133 --> 00:22:18,266
And you never partake
of the wares?
566
00:22:18,266 --> 00:22:21,100
I swear on my mother's grave.
567
00:22:21,100 --> 00:22:22,800
Bollocks.
568
00:22:25,033 --> 00:22:27,200
And what about Kitty?
569
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:28,966
I am very fond of her.
570
00:22:28,966 --> 00:22:31,433
Fond enough to kill
for her?
571
00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:33,633
I am a man of God.
572
00:22:38,466 --> 00:22:40,166
What are you doing?
573
00:22:40,166 --> 00:22:42,600
I've known too many men of God.
574
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:45,300
It's time we did this
in a more formal setting.
LANE: Please, I...
575
00:22:45,300 --> 00:22:48,700
(dial turning)
I have a reputation to uphold.
576
00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:50,833
Says the fella running around
with the strippers.
577
00:22:51,966 --> 00:22:55,233
My calling is all I have.
578
00:22:55,233 --> 00:22:56,266
Geordie.
579
00:22:57,500 --> 00:22:59,700
Do we have to make this
so public?
580
00:23:01,566 --> 00:23:03,700
He's the one making it public.
581
00:23:05,100 --> 00:23:08,200
Sex, sex, sex--
this country is sex-mad.
582
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:09,533
♪ ♪
583
00:23:09,533 --> 00:23:13,200
What does that do for
the next generation, eh?
584
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:14,733
(Larry speaking indistinctly
on phone)
GEORDIE: Hey, Larry.
585
00:23:14,733 --> 00:23:16,033
Send the Black Maria.
586
00:23:16,033 --> 00:23:18,500
(gasps softly)
587
00:23:18,500 --> 00:23:21,066
(ticking)
MEG:
Have you ever thought about
588
00:23:21,066 --> 00:23:22,500
becoming a secretary?
589
00:23:22,500 --> 00:23:24,566
Or an usher at the theater?
590
00:23:24,566 --> 00:23:26,000
Or a seamstress?
591
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:27,366
Good money in dresses.
592
00:23:27,366 --> 00:23:28,600
More money
out of them.
593
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:30,666
(Kitty and Leonard giggle)
594
00:23:30,666 --> 00:23:32,866
You're worth so much more
than this.
595
00:23:32,866 --> 00:23:34,100
Both of you.
596
00:23:34,100 --> 00:23:35,300
We know.
597
00:23:38,900 --> 00:23:41,300
So, there was no knife
in sight?
598
00:23:41,300 --> 00:23:43,333
No.
No one touched her?
599
00:23:43,333 --> 00:23:45,233
Nope.
It's impossible.
600
00:23:45,233 --> 00:23:47,733
I keep coming back
to the icicle.
601
00:23:47,733 --> 00:23:48,900
Me, too.
602
00:23:48,900 --> 00:23:50,433
I can't help thinking
it does have
603
00:23:50,433 --> 00:23:51,766
something to do with King Herod.
604
00:23:51,766 --> 00:23:54,000
So you were on stage, Joan.
605
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:55,833
JOAN:
I was doing my dance
of the five veils.
606
00:23:55,833 --> 00:23:57,400
Seven veils, isn't it?
607
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:58,833
I do it with five.
608
00:23:58,833 --> 00:24:00,433
The fellas lose interest
otherwise.
609
00:24:00,433 --> 00:24:02,233
(laughs):
Well, fair enough.
610
00:24:00,433 --> 00:24:02,233
(laughs):
Well, fair enough.
611
00:24:02,233 --> 00:24:04,000
So...
612
00:24:05,766 --> 00:24:08,166
Madam is here, say.
613
00:24:08,166 --> 00:24:10,166
And I'm up here.
614
00:24:11,300 --> 00:24:12,666
LEONARD:
And where are you?
(inhales)
615
00:24:16,233 --> 00:24:17,600
Oh, I had a ciggie,
616
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:18,700
if that's important.
617
00:24:18,700 --> 00:24:20,500
(gasps):
You know what we should do?
618
00:24:20,500 --> 00:24:22,433
Do not say a reconstruction.
619
00:24:22,433 --> 00:24:25,100
All my theatrical training
has been leading to this moment.
620
00:24:25,100 --> 00:24:26,900
What theatrical training?
621
00:24:26,900 --> 00:24:29,033
I did the Nativity--
it was a triumph.
622
00:24:29,033 --> 00:24:31,800
It was very far from
a triumph, Leonard.
623
00:24:33,433 --> 00:24:35,666
I was here.
624
00:24:37,133 --> 00:24:38,233
LEONARD:
Stanley?
625
00:24:39,233 --> 00:24:41,800
Uh, my knees are giving me
a bit of gyp, I'm afraid.
626
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:43,666
You take a seat,
Stanley, dear boy.
627
00:24:43,666 --> 00:24:46,600
That's fine-- I'll play you.
628
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:47,833
This is a complete waste
of time.
629
00:24:47,833 --> 00:24:49,300
Well, how far's
the Black Maria?
630
00:24:49,300 --> 00:24:50,833
It's 20 minutes.
631
00:24:50,833 --> 00:24:52,633
We need veils-- and chairs.
632
00:24:52,633 --> 00:24:54,966
You fix the gins.
633
00:24:54,966 --> 00:24:57,000
I'll get the tea towels.
634
00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:58,433
Mmm.
635
00:24:58,433 --> 00:25:02,333
♪ ♪
636
00:25:04,333 --> 00:25:05,333
(snaps loudly)
637
00:25:05,333 --> 00:25:07,000
Ooh!
638
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:08,333
(chuckles):
On a search for props.
639
00:25:10,233 --> 00:25:11,333
Uh... Ha!
640
00:25:13,966 --> 00:25:16,000
We can call the whole thing off,
if you'd rather.
641
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:17,633
No, do what you like, Leonard.
642
00:25:20,566 --> 00:25:21,900
When did you know?
643
00:25:22,866 --> 00:25:23,900
Know what?
644
00:25:25,233 --> 00:25:26,333
That you...
645
00:25:27,566 --> 00:25:29,433
You know, uh...
646
00:25:29,433 --> 00:25:30,500
You liked the fellas.
647
00:25:33,133 --> 00:25:35,066
I think I've always known.
648
00:25:35,066 --> 00:25:37,466
Deep down.
Mm-hmm?
649
00:25:38,633 --> 00:25:39,966
Ten years old?
650
00:25:39,966 --> 00:25:42,766
Certainly by then.
651
00:25:42,766 --> 00:25:43,966
And your parents.
652
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:47,166
Did they know?
653
00:25:48,700 --> 00:25:51,033
My father, um...
(clears throat)
654
00:25:51,033 --> 00:25:53,066
He always made it clear
I was a disappointment,
655
00:25:53,066 --> 00:25:54,600
so...
656
00:25:58,000 --> 00:25:59,900
Did you ever wear dresses?
657
00:25:59,900 --> 00:26:01,566
Dresses?
658
00:26:01,566 --> 00:26:04,800
I'm more of a sweater vest
kind of a chap.
659
00:26:06,333 --> 00:26:07,600
Why on Earth do you ask that?
660
00:26:09,733 --> 00:26:12,633
I had a felon in today,
661
00:26:12,633 --> 00:26:15,300
dressed up like my mother
on Christmas morning.
662
00:26:16,533 --> 00:26:18,366
I couldn't get my head
around it.
663
00:26:18,366 --> 00:26:19,833
That's all.
664
00:26:22,933 --> 00:26:24,766
We'll make this quick,
I promise.
665
00:26:25,933 --> 00:26:30,233
♪ ♪
666
00:26:44,833 --> 00:26:49,100
♪ ♪
667
00:27:01,666 --> 00:27:02,700
(exhales)
668
00:27:06,366 --> 00:27:10,366
♪ ♪
669
00:27:10,366 --> 00:27:12,466
Tea towels.
Just as Salome
danced.
670
00:27:12,466 --> 00:27:14,800
With a map of the Isle of Wight.
(chuckles)
671
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:15,800
LEONARD (imitating Stanley):
How do?
672
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:17,966
I'm Stanley.
(laughs)
673
00:27:17,966 --> 00:27:20,933
Bad knees--
I'm getting into character.
674
00:27:20,933 --> 00:27:22,533
Come on.
675
00:27:22,533 --> 00:27:24,066
Has he been a bit tipsy
recently?
676
00:27:24,066 --> 00:27:26,000
When?
All the time.
677
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,300
No, he's fine, Mrs. C.
678
00:27:28,300 --> 00:27:29,533
(imitating Stanley):
Tuppence!
679
00:27:29,533 --> 00:27:31,100
Tuppence to see
the prettiest girls
680
00:27:31,100 --> 00:27:32,466
in town.
681
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:41,633
(slow jazzy music playing
on record)
682
00:27:41,633 --> 00:27:43,633
(imitating Stanley):
Welcome to Tassell's,
683
00:27:43,633 --> 00:27:48,533
Cambridge's finest
erotic establishment.
684
00:27:48,533 --> 00:27:50,133
I take out my wallet.
(clears throat)
685
00:27:52,100 --> 00:27:54,933
Madam said to give me
the V.I.P. treatment.
686
00:27:56,066 --> 00:27:57,400
Oh, sorry,
my line.
687
00:27:57,400 --> 00:28:00,200
Give him the V.I.P. treatment,
Stanley.
688
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:01,366
(chuckles)
689
00:28:02,366 --> 00:28:04,500
It just means free drinks.
690
00:28:04,500 --> 00:28:06,033
(normally):
Raffle ticket.
691
00:28:06,033 --> 00:28:08,566
Free drinks.
692
00:28:08,566 --> 00:28:10,833
(imitating Stanley):
On the house, Your Reverence.
693
00:28:10,833 --> 00:28:13,666
And I went in.
694
00:28:13,666 --> 00:28:15,566
Have a wonderful evening!
695
00:28:15,566 --> 00:28:17,866
Ooh, me knees!
Good Lord.
696
00:28:17,866 --> 00:28:20,300
(Leonard moaning)
697
00:28:20,300 --> 00:28:21,666
Kitty was dancing.
698
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:24,733
Oh, do you want me to...
699
00:28:24,733 --> 00:28:27,033
OTHERS:
No!
Not necessary.
700
00:28:28,833 --> 00:28:30,333
I take my seat.
701
00:28:31,566 --> 00:28:34,100
Say hello to Joan--
hello, hello.
702
00:28:34,100 --> 00:28:37,400
Hello, David, looking ever so
handsome this evening.
703
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:38,533
Thank you.
704
00:28:38,533 --> 00:28:39,533
Madam
705
00:28:39,533 --> 00:28:41,433
takes her place.
706
00:28:41,433 --> 00:28:44,833
(imitating):
How are you, darlings?
707
00:28:44,833 --> 00:28:47,766
(normally):
I'm not even going to try it.
708
00:28:47,766 --> 00:28:49,066
And then me.
709
00:28:50,033 --> 00:28:56,566
(music continues)
710
00:28:56,566 --> 00:28:58,400
Christ on a bike.
711
00:28:58,400 --> 00:28:59,900
LANE:
Now, the reason I keep
mentioning
712
00:28:59,900 --> 00:29:01,633
King Herod is that
713
00:29:01,633 --> 00:29:03,600
when Salome danced
for him,
714
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:05,666
he was enchanted by her,
so much so,
715
00:29:05,666 --> 00:29:07,133
that he killed a man.
716
00:29:07,133 --> 00:29:09,000
St. John the Baptist.
717
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:10,466
Head on a platter.
718
00:29:10,466 --> 00:29:12,633
LANE:
Could be a motive.
719
00:29:12,633 --> 00:29:13,900
I'm sure our killer read
the Old Testament
720
00:29:13,900 --> 00:29:15,166
before he left the house.
721
00:29:15,166 --> 00:29:16,566
OTHERS:
New Testament.
722
00:29:16,566 --> 00:29:19,133
(music continues)
723
00:29:19,133 --> 00:29:21,266
Cor! Get 'em off!
724
00:29:23,300 --> 00:29:24,966
Leonard told me to leer.
725
00:29:24,966 --> 00:29:26,466
I did tell her to leer.
726
00:29:26,466 --> 00:29:28,166
Where the hell's
that Black Maria?
727
00:29:28,166 --> 00:29:30,100
(laughs)
ALPHY:
Okay, so Joan's dancing.
728
00:29:30,100 --> 00:29:31,100
Madam's at the table
729
00:29:31,100 --> 00:29:33,833
counting the takings.
730
00:29:33,833 --> 00:29:35,766
Stanley, where are you?
731
00:29:35,766 --> 00:29:38,100
Back upstairs at the door.
732
00:29:39,433 --> 00:29:41,266
I was still
over here.
733
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:43,766
And then?
734
00:29:45,633 --> 00:29:47,566
Ooh!
735
00:29:47,566 --> 00:29:50,266
I went, "Madam? Madam?"
736
00:29:50,266 --> 00:29:52,933
I went,
"The old cow's carked it!"
737
00:29:52,933 --> 00:29:54,800
JOAN:
And that was that.
738
00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:56,833
Everyone left?
739
00:29:56,833 --> 00:29:58,200
Everyone left.
740
00:29:58,200 --> 00:29:59,833
After doing our due diligence,
of course.
741
00:29:59,833 --> 00:30:01,566
You were first
out the door, David.
742
00:30:02,866 --> 00:30:05,566
Joan came back in
to get her clothes.
743
00:30:05,566 --> 00:30:07,366
Couldn't leave in just
my smalls, could I?
744
00:30:07,366 --> 00:30:08,466
And that was that.
745
00:30:08,466 --> 00:30:10,433
We turned up on your doorstep.
746
00:30:10,433 --> 00:30:12,233
(normally):
There's a big van outside.
747
00:30:12,233 --> 00:30:13,666
No, that didn't happen.
748
00:30:13,666 --> 00:30:15,166
No, in real life.
749
00:30:15,166 --> 00:30:16,733
I mean, there's
a big van outside.
750
00:30:16,733 --> 00:30:19,100
Fun's over--
everyone in the van.
751
00:30:19,100 --> 00:30:21,300
MRS. CHAPMAN:
I'll find your coats, ladies.
752
00:30:21,300 --> 00:30:27,166
(music continues)
753
00:30:28,166 --> 00:30:29,166
Slump forward again.
754
00:30:29,166 --> 00:30:30,766
Me?
755
00:30:30,766 --> 00:30:32,066
Yeah, just...
756
00:30:32,066 --> 00:30:34,500
Just sit up and then slump.
757
00:30:34,500 --> 00:30:40,366
(others talking in background)
758
00:30:40,366 --> 00:30:42,333
Geordie, where was
the wound?
759
00:30:45,466 --> 00:30:47,066
There.
760
00:30:49,166 --> 00:30:51,133
Have you got a pen?
761
00:30:52,166 --> 00:30:55,466
It's like playtime
with the bloody kids.
762
00:30:55,466 --> 00:30:57,700
You are in a foul mood
this evening.
763
00:30:57,700 --> 00:31:00,133
And you're wondering why?
(Lane clears throat)
764
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:05,633
Okay.
765
00:31:05,633 --> 00:31:06,933
Sit back.
766
00:31:09,333 --> 00:31:11,466
There were no tears
through her clothing.
767
00:31:11,466 --> 00:31:16,000
So she had
to have been stabbed...
After she fell forward.
768
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:19,966
♪ ♪
769
00:31:19,966 --> 00:31:23,933
♪ ♪
770
00:31:23,933 --> 00:31:25,800
Joan went back to get
her clothes, you said.
771
00:31:27,300 --> 00:31:30,166
Uh, she was no more
than ten seconds, why?
772
00:31:32,133 --> 00:31:36,800
♪ ♪
773
00:31:44,833 --> 00:31:51,000
♪ ♪
774
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:53,900
(dog barking in distance)
775
00:31:57,100 --> 00:31:58,766
Wait here.
776
00:31:58,766 --> 00:31:59,866
Mm!
777
00:32:04,966 --> 00:32:06,500
They're all in
for questioning.
778
00:32:06,500 --> 00:32:09,533
Oh, have a seat here,
Stanley.
779
00:32:09,533 --> 00:32:11,666
Take the weight off
those poor old knees.
780
00:32:11,666 --> 00:32:12,866
Thank you,
David.
781
00:32:14,866 --> 00:32:16,266
(exhales):
Joan? Shall we?
782
00:32:18,333 --> 00:32:20,066
God will forgive you,
my dear.
783
00:32:20,066 --> 00:32:21,700
Stuff your forgiveness, David.
784
00:32:22,833 --> 00:32:24,666
Kitty can't stand you,
you know that?
785
00:32:24,666 --> 00:32:26,933
Can't stand to even look at you.
786
00:32:42,300 --> 00:32:43,300
Coat?
787
00:32:43,300 --> 00:32:44,966
Please.
788
00:33:05,533 --> 00:33:07,300
Where'd you get this from?
789
00:33:09,933 --> 00:33:11,966
I won big on the horses.
790
00:33:15,133 --> 00:33:17,200
It's the takings.
791
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:19,933
Which you stole when?
When I went back
792
00:33:19,933 --> 00:33:21,600
to get my clothes.
793
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:23,300
After she'd collapsed.
794
00:33:23,300 --> 00:33:25,800
I thought she was dead.
795
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:31,700
♪ ♪
796
00:33:31,700 --> 00:33:32,966
I thought,
797
00:33:32,966 --> 00:33:34,733
she can hardly
miss the money now.
798
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:38,433
Can't take it with you, can you?
799
00:33:38,433 --> 00:33:41,333
♪ ♪
800
00:33:41,333 --> 00:33:42,600
But she opened her eyes.
801
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:43,633
(grunts)
802
00:33:46,266 --> 00:33:48,000
(grunts, breath trembles)
803
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:52,533
♪ ♪
804
00:33:52,533 --> 00:33:55,100
So she wasn't dead?
805
00:33:55,100 --> 00:33:57,300
Well, she wasn't
and then she was.
806
00:33:57,300 --> 00:33:59,800
Once you'd got to her.
807
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:02,233
I understand, Joan.
808
00:34:02,233 --> 00:34:04,400
I understand
how these clubs work.
809
00:34:05,733 --> 00:34:09,033
Tricked into it with the
promise of fame and fortune.
810
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,066
Got me pegged as a little
victim, haven't you?
811
00:34:14,233 --> 00:34:16,600
I knew exactly what
I was getting into.
812
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:19,933
Dancing, it's means
to an end for me.
813
00:34:19,933 --> 00:34:22,066
Nothing more.
814
00:34:22,066 --> 00:34:25,100
I have a husband.
815
00:34:25,100 --> 00:34:26,600
Little boy.
816
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:29,433
I work and I go home.
817
00:34:29,433 --> 00:34:31,833
I had no hard feelings
against her, I just...
818
00:34:31,833 --> 00:34:33,933
Stabbed her in cold blood.
819
00:34:33,933 --> 00:34:36,333
I panicked.
820
00:34:36,333 --> 00:34:38,000
♪ ♪
821
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,233
And I'm sorry for it.
822
00:34:41,933 --> 00:34:43,400
I really am.
823
00:34:47,100 --> 00:34:48,866
Where will you go now?
824
00:34:48,866 --> 00:34:50,933
Ah, I'm not so sure.
(exhales)
825
00:34:50,933 --> 00:34:53,066
I'll find a new job.
826
00:34:53,066 --> 00:34:55,500
I got my reading good
now, haven't I?
827
00:34:55,500 --> 00:34:57,100
It's exemplary.
828
00:34:57,100 --> 00:34:59,000
You'll be grand.
829
00:35:01,166 --> 00:35:02,966
Do you think
Madam's gone to hell?
830
00:35:02,966 --> 00:35:04,833
Oh, absolutely.
831
00:35:06,333 --> 00:35:08,966
I don't like to think of her
burning for all eternity.
832
00:35:08,966 --> 00:35:13,500
Well, I, I see hell more
as a, a den of iniquity.
833
00:35:13,500 --> 00:35:17,100
Seething with devils
and temptresses.
834
00:35:17,100 --> 00:35:19,433
Much like Tassell's, then.
835
00:35:20,666 --> 00:35:22,333
Yeah, now you mention it, yeah.
836
00:35:22,333 --> 00:35:23,933
(chuckling)
837
00:35:23,933 --> 00:35:25,566
LARRY:
There you are, fellas.
838
00:35:25,566 --> 00:35:27,166
Oh, you're a diamond.
839
00:35:27,166 --> 00:35:28,900
Stanley likes
sugar.
840
00:35:28,900 --> 00:35:30,233
Two sugars.
841
00:35:30,233 --> 00:35:31,500
I don't want to be no bother.
842
00:35:31,500 --> 00:35:33,666
It's not a bother at all,
is it?
843
00:35:33,666 --> 00:35:35,400
It's what he's here for.
844
00:35:36,633 --> 00:35:38,400
I'll fetch some now.
845
00:35:39,966 --> 00:35:41,800
(inhales)
846
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:43,133
You'll be absolutely
847
00:35:43,133 --> 00:35:44,366
grand, Stanley.
848
00:35:44,366 --> 00:35:46,566
Absolutely grand.
849
00:35:48,300 --> 00:35:50,600
(muttering):
Two sugars--
I'm not a bloody tea boy.
850
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:52,733
You what?
(door closes)
Oh, nothing.
851
00:35:52,733 --> 00:35:54,800
Postmortem's back
on your desk, Boss.
852
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:58,166
Great-- oh, couldn't get me
a cup of tea, could you, Larry?
853
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:00,300
(phone rings)
854
00:36:02,033 --> 00:36:03,733
(ringing)
855
00:36:03,733 --> 00:36:05,266
Geordie Keating.
856
00:36:05,266 --> 00:36:07,400
CATHY (on phone):
I want to report
a missing person.
857
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:10,200
My husband went to work hours
ago and didn't come back.
858
00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:14,166
Oh, I'm sorry about that, Cathy.
859
00:36:14,166 --> 00:36:15,466
The kids in bed?
860
00:36:15,466 --> 00:36:18,000
Finally, thank God.
861
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:19,033
How's David?
862
00:36:19,033 --> 00:36:20,266
Fine.
863
00:36:21,233 --> 00:36:22,666
I wish you wouldn't be
so grumpy with him.
864
00:36:22,666 --> 00:36:23,966
He was only larking about.
865
00:36:23,966 --> 00:36:25,966
I don't like him watching
that nonsense.
866
00:36:25,966 --> 00:36:27,166
You watch it.
867
00:36:27,166 --> 00:36:28,600
It's not the point.
868
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:30,700
He's a shy little thing,
our David.
869
00:36:30,700 --> 00:36:33,300
Barely get a word out of him
most days.
870
00:36:33,300 --> 00:36:35,633
It was nice to see him
having fun.
871
00:36:35,633 --> 00:36:38,900
We should be encouraging him,
Geordie.
872
00:36:40,133 --> 00:36:41,400
You're not listening, are you?
873
00:36:42,866 --> 00:36:47,866
And in three, two, one...
874
00:36:47,866 --> 00:36:48,866
Got to go, love.
GEORDIE:
I've got to go, love.
875
00:36:48,866 --> 00:36:50,666
I'm sorry.
876
00:36:50,666 --> 00:36:52,666
♪ ♪
877
00:36:52,666 --> 00:36:54,700
ALPHY:
Come on, Leonard.
878
00:36:54,700 --> 00:36:55,800
Let's sit you down.
879
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:56,900
LEONARD:
Everything's spinning.
880
00:36:56,900 --> 00:36:59,200
(giggles)
All that acting.
881
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:01,033
Takes it out of you.
(chuckles)
882
00:37:01,033 --> 00:37:03,400
You are a wonderful
friend, Alphy.
883
00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:04,600
Aw, so are you.
884
00:37:05,966 --> 00:37:07,433
(moans)
885
00:37:08,500 --> 00:37:10,233
(exhales)
886
00:37:10,233 --> 00:37:12,366
This man is a wonderful man.
887
00:37:15,566 --> 00:37:17,300
(exhales)
888
00:37:22,866 --> 00:37:24,500
Just the two of us, then.
889
00:37:24,500 --> 00:37:25,933
Just the two of us.
890
00:37:25,933 --> 00:37:28,000
(phone rings)
891
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:29,733
Good Lord.
892
00:37:29,733 --> 00:37:32,266
I'm not sure
even He can help you.
893
00:37:35,466 --> 00:37:36,766
Vicarage.
894
00:37:36,766 --> 00:37:38,166
GEORDIE (on phone):
Alphy.
895
00:37:38,166 --> 00:37:39,966
What now?
896
00:37:39,966 --> 00:37:41,866
Try to sound a bit
more enthusiastic.
897
00:37:41,866 --> 00:37:44,366
Joan stabbed Madam.
898
00:37:45,900 --> 00:37:48,633
But that's not what killed her.
899
00:37:48,633 --> 00:37:51,133
Pathologist says
the stab wound was superficial.
900
00:37:51,133 --> 00:37:52,900
So what did kill her?
901
00:37:52,900 --> 00:37:55,333
Why did she slump to the table
in the first place?
902
00:37:55,333 --> 00:37:57,066
Exactly.
903
00:37:57,066 --> 00:37:59,233
Going back to the club--
you coming?
904
00:38:02,500 --> 00:38:03,633
Go.
905
00:38:04,766 --> 00:38:06,500
You sure?
I'm sure.
906
00:38:08,166 --> 00:38:10,933
Will you still be here
when I get back?
907
00:38:10,933 --> 00:38:12,200
Maybe.
908
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:13,800
We'll see.
909
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:15,300
I have it
on good authority
910
00:38:15,300 --> 00:38:17,666
that you're a wonderful man,
so...
911
00:38:19,433 --> 00:38:20,433
GEORDIE:
No rush.
912
00:38:20,433 --> 00:38:22,300
You take your time.
913
00:38:23,266 --> 00:38:24,466
On my way.
914
00:38:27,566 --> 00:38:28,666
(Dickens whines)
915
00:38:28,666 --> 00:38:29,900
♪ ♪
916
00:38:29,900 --> 00:38:31,833
(whines)
917
00:38:31,833 --> 00:38:38,333
♪ ♪
918
00:38:39,700 --> 00:38:41,166
Joan didn't kill her.
919
00:38:41,166 --> 00:38:44,000
And if Joan didn't kill her,
could be anyone.
920
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:46,766
Could be Sneaky Pete,
for all we know.
921
00:38:48,533 --> 00:38:50,600
You're not listening,
are you?
No, I'm listening.
922
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:52,600
You're smitten.
923
00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:53,666
Do you know, I think I might be,
924
00:38:53,666 --> 00:38:56,633
but that's not
what I'm thinking about.
925
00:38:56,633 --> 00:38:58,466
Sure.
926
00:38:58,466 --> 00:39:00,233
What did Larry say?
927
00:39:00,233 --> 00:39:02,300
About the club?
There'd been complaints.
928
00:39:00,233 --> 00:39:02,300
About the club?
There'd been complaints.
929
00:39:02,300 --> 00:39:04,366
Yeah, loud music.
930
00:39:04,366 --> 00:39:06,266
Men passed out in doorways.
931
00:39:06,266 --> 00:39:09,166
Men passed out
in doorways.
932
00:39:10,433 --> 00:39:11,700
Yeah, there was a fella
sitting right here.
933
00:39:11,700 --> 00:39:13,166
He was passed out, too.
934
00:39:13,166 --> 00:39:15,866
What if that's the key
to all of it?
935
00:39:15,866 --> 00:39:18,866
What, the drunk fella?
936
00:39:18,866 --> 00:39:21,200
What if he wasn't just drunk?
937
00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:22,900
(slow music playing
in background)
938
00:39:22,900 --> 00:39:25,366
What if there's more to this
than just booze?
939
00:39:25,366 --> 00:39:27,066
(head thuds, glass breaks)
940
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:33,633
♪ ♪
941
00:39:38,366 --> 00:39:39,400
(exhales)
942
00:39:43,433 --> 00:39:44,433
(exhales)
943
00:39:44,433 --> 00:39:49,200
♪ ♪
944
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:51,166
Alphy?
945
00:39:51,166 --> 00:39:52,733
It's laudanum.
946
00:39:52,733 --> 00:39:54,266
You sure?
947
00:39:54,266 --> 00:39:55,633
Yeah, pretty sure.
948
00:39:56,633 --> 00:39:59,100
Mix it with alcohol,
gives off a musky smell.
949
00:39:59,100 --> 00:40:04,366
♪ ♪
950
00:40:09,100 --> 00:40:10,833
(footsteps approaching)
951
00:40:13,266 --> 00:40:17,733
♪ ♪
952
00:40:21,066 --> 00:40:22,100
(drawer opens)
953
00:40:27,266 --> 00:40:28,500
(ticket book drops)
954
00:40:28,500 --> 00:40:31,333
♪ ♪
955
00:40:37,166 --> 00:40:38,566
(sniffs)
956
00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:42,833
Someone gave Madam laudanum.
957
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:46,200
Enough to kill her.
958
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:51,266
GEORDIE:
Larry?
Boss.
959
00:40:51,266 --> 00:40:53,666
The drunk and incompetent
cases from the club.
960
00:40:53,666 --> 00:40:55,433
On your desk.
961
00:40:55,433 --> 00:40:58,766
♪ ♪
962
00:40:58,766 --> 00:41:00,133
How many were there?
963
00:41:00,133 --> 00:41:01,933
Dozen or so.
964
00:41:01,933 --> 00:41:03,433
All passed out.
965
00:41:03,433 --> 00:41:05,266
All woke up
missing their valuables.
966
00:41:05,266 --> 00:41:08,800
♪ ♪
967
00:41:12,766 --> 00:41:15,000
"I was in the club--
next thing I remember,
968
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:18,200
"I woke up in a doorway
without my wallet.
969
00:41:19,566 --> 00:41:23,866
"I was offered V.I.P. treatment.
970
00:41:23,866 --> 00:41:26,066
Free drinks and whatnot."
971
00:41:26,066 --> 00:41:28,100
V.I.P. treatment.
972
00:41:29,500 --> 00:41:30,766
The green raffle tickets.
973
00:41:30,766 --> 00:41:32,366
It marks the men out.
974
00:41:32,366 --> 00:41:34,033
Those with a bit of cash
on them
975
00:41:34,033 --> 00:41:35,933
get green tickets.
976
00:41:35,933 --> 00:41:38,933
Those are the punters
who Madam gives the laudanum.
977
00:41:38,933 --> 00:41:41,766
They pass out, she robs them,
978
00:41:41,766 --> 00:41:43,300
turns them out
on the street.
979
00:41:43,300 --> 00:41:49,033
♪ ♪
980
00:41:50,700 --> 00:41:53,200
The reverend was offered
V.I.P. treatment.
981
00:41:54,933 --> 00:41:58,233
So why's he still
compos mentis?
982
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:04,100
Because David was kind to him.
983
00:42:04,100 --> 00:42:09,133
♪ ♪
984
00:42:12,466 --> 00:42:17,433
♪ ♪
985
00:42:17,433 --> 00:42:18,700
Stan?
986
00:42:21,466 --> 00:42:22,600
Stanley.
987
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:25,300
Sorry.
988
00:42:26,466 --> 00:42:28,433
Sorry about that.
(sniffs)
989
00:42:32,833 --> 00:42:35,900
Madam was meaner than
a rattlesnake, Joan said.
990
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:40,466
She wasn't very kind
to you, was she?
991
00:42:45,433 --> 00:42:47,500
The reverend,
on the other hand...
Mm.
992
00:42:48,766 --> 00:42:50,700
GEORDIE:
He showed you some kindness.
993
00:42:50,700 --> 00:42:52,000
ALPHY:
Helped you with your reading.
994
00:42:53,766 --> 00:42:55,166
I don't know
what you're talking about.
995
00:42:55,166 --> 00:42:57,766
Ah, you do, Stanley.
996
00:42:57,766 --> 00:42:58,866
You know.
997
00:42:58,866 --> 00:43:01,433
David gave you
the time of day.
998
00:43:02,900 --> 00:43:05,266
Which is more
than most people do.
999
00:43:05,266 --> 00:43:07,766
ALPHY:
Was that what pushed you
over the edge?
1000
00:43:10,033 --> 00:43:12,766
He was kind to you, and
1001
00:43:12,766 --> 00:43:15,233
she wanted you to drug him?
1002
00:43:16,933 --> 00:43:18,166
It didn't seem right.
1003
00:43:19,666 --> 00:43:22,466
Rob a man who's only
shown us kindness.
1004
00:43:22,466 --> 00:43:25,966
♪ ♪
1005
00:43:25,966 --> 00:43:28,733
V.I.P. treatment for the vicar,
Stanley.
1006
00:43:28,733 --> 00:43:29,833
Very kind.
1007
00:43:29,833 --> 00:43:30,866
Thank you.
1008
00:43:30,866 --> 00:43:31,900
(clears throat)
1009
00:43:35,233 --> 00:43:36,600
Thank you.
1010
00:43:38,766 --> 00:43:41,800
And thank you.
1011
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:44,933
(humming)
1012
00:43:44,933 --> 00:43:47,000
She took advantage.
1013
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:49,500
Of him, the girls.
1014
00:43:50,566 --> 00:43:51,900
I had to stand and watch
1015
00:43:51,900 --> 00:43:54,366
while she broke Joan and Kitty
down.
1016
00:43:56,466 --> 00:43:58,400
Degraded 'em.
1017
00:43:58,400 --> 00:44:00,466
Used them.
1018
00:44:01,566 --> 00:44:03,466
She used you, too.
1019
00:44:05,866 --> 00:44:08,166
She made me feel
I was worthless.
1020
00:44:10,900 --> 00:44:12,166
Maybe I am.
1021
00:44:13,833 --> 00:44:15,566
ALPHY:
No.
1022
00:44:15,566 --> 00:44:18,066
That's not true, Stanley.
1023
00:44:18,066 --> 00:44:21,000
STANLEY:
I was tired of it.
1024
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:22,033
Of her.
1025
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:26,533
Of tricking
all those poor fellas.
1026
00:44:28,433 --> 00:44:30,700
Didn't feel right.
1027
00:44:32,266 --> 00:44:34,566
It didn't feel right in here.
1028
00:44:34,566 --> 00:44:37,100
♪ ♪
1029
00:44:37,100 --> 00:44:38,900
GEORDIE:
So you drugged her.
1030
00:44:38,900 --> 00:44:41,966
A dose big enough to kill.
1031
00:44:56,566 --> 00:44:58,433
♪ ♪
1032
00:44:58,433 --> 00:44:59,866
STANLEY:
You know the worst of it?
1033
00:45:01,700 --> 00:45:03,566
I don't feel
an ounce of remorse.
1034
00:45:05,966 --> 00:45:08,033
Promise me something,
Inspector.
1035
00:45:08,033 --> 00:45:09,433
What's that?
1036
00:45:10,700 --> 00:45:13,966
Don't bring the girls into this.
1037
00:45:13,966 --> 00:45:16,566
They deserve a bit of happiness.
1038
00:45:20,233 --> 00:45:23,300
Lord knows they never had it
when she were alive.
1039
00:45:25,133 --> 00:45:26,266
Stanley.
1040
00:45:28,166 --> 00:45:30,533
Shall we?
1041
00:45:30,533 --> 00:45:33,966
♪ ♪
1042
00:45:33,966 --> 00:45:36,066
Steady as she goes.
1043
00:45:38,900 --> 00:45:40,866
Thank you for your hospitality,
Vicar.
1044
00:45:40,866 --> 00:45:44,166
(hands shake)
It was a pleasure, Stanley.
1045
00:45:46,133 --> 00:45:47,666
God bless you.
1046
00:45:51,433 --> 00:45:56,566
♪ ♪
1047
00:46:17,700 --> 00:46:20,533
You must think me
a terrible buffoon.
1048
00:46:28,366 --> 00:46:31,933
I think you're as flawed and
complicated as the rest of us.
1049
00:46:34,300 --> 00:46:37,800
I knew Kitty could never fall
for a man like me,
1050
00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:40,866
but I, I just allowed myself
1051
00:46:40,866 --> 00:46:43,000
to indulge in the fantasy
for a while.
1052
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:45,000
I, I don't know why.
1053
00:46:46,633 --> 00:46:48,833
Perhaps you're lonely.
Oh.
1054
00:46:48,833 --> 00:46:52,000
No, I, I have
a very full life.
1055
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:56,033
With the church and, um...
1056
00:46:56,033 --> 00:46:58,200
And...
1057
00:46:58,200 --> 00:46:59,300
I, I never stop.
1058
00:47:02,500 --> 00:47:05,000
It's the life we chose,
I suppose.
1059
00:47:07,766 --> 00:47:09,833
Or that chose us.
1060
00:47:11,766 --> 00:47:13,833
(chuckles):
Yeah.
1061
00:47:13,833 --> 00:47:16,200
It chose us, didn't it?
Hm.
1062
00:47:17,333 --> 00:47:18,900
(chuckles)
1063
00:47:18,900 --> 00:47:21,600
Rather lovely when you think
about it like that.
1064
00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:23,333
Hm.
1065
00:47:23,333 --> 00:47:26,966
♪ ♪
1066
00:47:26,966 --> 00:47:28,000
(sighs)
1067
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:31,033
♪ ♪
1068
00:47:31,033 --> 00:47:32,066
(door closes)
1069
00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:36,733
Last one standing?
(whimpers)
1070
00:47:36,733 --> 00:47:38,633
Not quite.
1071
00:47:38,633 --> 00:47:43,666
♪ ♪
1072
00:47:49,666 --> 00:47:52,600
You didn't need to clean up.
1073
00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:55,200
Well, it was a pleasant
distraction after the...
1074
00:47:55,200 --> 00:47:57,200
Lunacy of the evening?
1075
00:47:58,333 --> 00:47:59,966
It was quite mad,
wasn't it?
1076
00:47:59,966 --> 00:48:01,933
(laughs):
I think that might be
understating it.
1077
00:47:59,966 --> 00:48:01,933
(laughs):
I think that might be
understating it.
1078
00:48:01,933 --> 00:48:04,833
Learnt a few things, though--
got some new
1079
00:48:04,833 --> 00:48:06,933
dance moves under my belt.
1080
00:48:06,933 --> 00:48:09,033
So educational, if nothing else.
1081
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:17,000
Just the two of us, then.
1082
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:18,366
(car approaching)
1083
00:48:18,366 --> 00:48:20,366
Just the two of us.
1084
00:48:20,366 --> 00:48:21,766
(engine idling)
1085
00:48:21,766 --> 00:48:23,500
(car horn honks)
(exhales)
1086
00:48:23,500 --> 00:48:25,300
That's my taxi.
1087
00:48:25,300 --> 00:48:26,700
Of course it is.
1088
00:48:28,500 --> 00:48:29,866
My mother always told me
1089
00:48:29,866 --> 00:48:32,466
it's polite to leave
after the arrests.
1090
00:48:33,900 --> 00:48:35,133
Quite right.
1091
00:48:43,333 --> 00:48:44,933
(door opens)
1092
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:57,700
So...
(exhales)
1093
00:48:58,833 --> 00:49:00,600
So...
1094
00:49:04,933 --> 00:49:07,566
Well, we said we'd shake hands.
1095
00:49:07,566 --> 00:49:10,833
So there isn't going
to be a next time?
1096
00:49:10,833 --> 00:49:13,100
I'd like there to be
a next time.
1097
00:49:13,100 --> 00:49:16,266
I'd like there
to be a next time.
1098
00:49:17,666 --> 00:49:20,500
Just not sure
how I'm gonna top tonight.
1099
00:49:20,500 --> 00:49:23,700
Mm, it's tricky.
Mm.
1100
00:49:23,700 --> 00:49:25,433
Cinema?
1101
00:49:26,633 --> 00:49:28,100
Perfect.
1102
00:49:29,266 --> 00:49:30,333
Oh,
1103
00:49:30,333 --> 00:49:32,566
you might want
to check on Leonard.
1104
00:49:32,566 --> 00:49:35,200
He regaled me
with a poem about cheese
1105
00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:37,333
and then he was
a little bit sick.
1106
00:49:37,333 --> 00:49:39,166
Oh, dear.
1107
00:49:40,166 --> 00:49:41,266
(car horn honks)
1108
00:49:44,433 --> 00:49:46,766
Night, then.
1109
00:49:48,233 --> 00:49:50,500
Night.
1110
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:54,033
Meg.
1111
00:49:55,033 --> 00:50:00,066
♪ ♪
1112
00:50:08,866 --> 00:50:12,400
A poem about cheese.
1113
00:50:14,133 --> 00:50:16,300
It was actually very poignant.
1114
00:50:23,800 --> 00:50:26,533
(door opens and closes)
1115
00:50:51,533 --> 00:50:54,000
I didn't make a fool of myself,
did I?
1116
00:50:55,433 --> 00:50:56,466
(exhales)
1117
00:50:58,966 --> 00:51:00,400
Not at all.
1118
00:51:02,066 --> 00:51:03,733
I think I made up
a poem for Meg.
1119
00:51:03,733 --> 00:51:06,533
About cheese.
1120
00:51:07,533 --> 00:51:09,033
Really?
1121
00:51:09,033 --> 00:51:10,966
Hm, she didn't mention
anything.
1122
00:51:10,966 --> 00:51:13,400
And I was rude to Daniel.
1123
00:51:14,666 --> 00:51:17,666
(exhales):
Do you think
he'll ever forgive me?
1124
00:51:17,666 --> 00:51:19,733
Of course he will.
1125
00:51:21,133 --> 00:51:23,833
You really are a wonderful
friend, Alphy.
1126
00:51:23,833 --> 00:51:26,466
I'm sorry.
1127
00:51:26,466 --> 00:51:29,833
I'm a terrible liability,
aren't I?
1128
00:51:29,833 --> 00:51:32,166
Get some sleep, Leonard.
1129
00:51:32,166 --> 00:51:35,066
It'll all feel better
in the morning.
1130
00:51:39,833 --> 00:51:41,733
(glass clinks)
1131
00:51:43,033 --> 00:51:44,066
(sighs)
1132
00:51:47,666 --> 00:51:52,766
♪ ♪
1133
00:52:06,233 --> 00:52:09,266
♪ ♪
1134
00:52:11,633 --> 00:52:12,666
(click)
1135
00:52:16,700 --> 00:52:18,133
♪ ♪
1136
00:52:18,133 --> 00:52:19,200
ALPHY:
I'll be there as soon as I can.
1137
00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:20,433
I'm Alphy.
1138
00:52:20,433 --> 00:52:22,566
POTTS: There've been
some strange goings-on
1139
00:52:22,566 --> 00:52:24,166
since the closure was announced.
1140
00:52:24,166 --> 00:52:25,966
ALPHY: There is something else
you should know.
1141
00:52:25,966 --> 00:52:27,233
CATHY:
I've done it.
1142
00:52:27,233 --> 00:52:30,066
I've only gone
and bloody done it.
1143
00:52:30,066 --> 00:52:31,566
Done what?
1144
00:52:31,566 --> 00:52:34,633
♪ ♪
1145
00:52:37,133 --> 00:52:40,166
♪ ♪
1146
00:52:40,166 --> 00:52:43,800
ANNOUNCER:
Visit our website for videos,
newsletters, podcasts, and more.
1147
00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:47,133
And join us on social media.
1148
00:52:47,133 --> 00:52:48,900
The DVD version of this program
1149
00:52:48,900 --> 00:52:50,900
is available online
and in stores.
1150
00:52:50,900 --> 00:52:53,700
This program is also available
with PBS Passport
1151
00:52:53,700 --> 00:52:55,566
and on Amazon Prime Video.
1152
00:52:55,566 --> 00:52:59,733
♪ ♪
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