All language subtitles for Dying.Of.Laughter.1999.1080p.BluRay.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American) Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:56,092 DYING OF LAUGHTER 2 00:02:44,675 --> 00:02:48,250 Wait a minute! Hey! Where are you going? 3 00:02:48,594 --> 00:02:50,710 Hey! I need your I.D.! 4 00:02:54,765 --> 00:02:57,215 They're heading for make-up. 5 00:03:07,482 --> 00:03:09,598 They're here. My God. 6 00:03:09,817 --> 00:03:13,184 -Who's here? -Who? Are you stupid? Them. 7 00:03:13,778 --> 00:03:15,935 -Them? Really? -Of course, you fool. 8 00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:19,813 The genuine, the authentic, the two and only... 9 00:03:20,032 --> 00:03:22,815 Nino and Bruno. They're in make-up. 10 00:03:23,493 --> 00:03:24,566 What do we do? 11 00:03:24,827 --> 00:03:28,402 -Nothing. What's wrong? -What's wrong? 12 00:03:28,663 --> 00:03:30,821 The police are after them! 13 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:32,697 Relax. I'll talk to them. 14 00:03:34,250 --> 00:03:36,241 No, not now. Come on, get out. 15 00:03:37,794 --> 00:03:39,702 Who the fuck are these people? 16 00:03:41,005 --> 00:03:43,997 Good. Here we are. Together again. 17 00:03:44,257 --> 00:03:47,665 The legendary Nino and Bruno, ready to hit the stage. 18 00:03:48,801 --> 00:03:51,709 You're here to do the show, right? 19 00:03:53,471 --> 00:03:55,587 Relax, Ricky. Give us a second. 20 00:03:55,806 --> 00:03:56,911 What about his hair? 21 00:03:57,140 --> 00:03:59,673 Fuck it! We've got other problems! 22 00:03:59,934 --> 00:04:02,415 Let's go! Maria! Merche! Get out! 23 00:04:09,024 --> 00:04:11,265 My boys, my boys. 24 00:04:11,734 --> 00:04:14,434 I've dreamed of this for a long time. 25 00:04:14,861 --> 00:04:18,145 After all that has happened. Together again. 26 00:04:19,655 --> 00:04:21,521 I'm really getting emotional. 27 00:04:22,532 --> 00:04:25,097 Look. I have goose pimples. 28 00:04:27,703 --> 00:04:29,985 Okay. Enough bullshit. 29 00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:32,571 We're going out that door 30 00:04:32,789 --> 00:04:36,990 to put on the best New Year's show ever. 31 00:04:37,418 --> 00:04:39,867 We'll kill them with laughter. 32 00:04:41,087 --> 00:04:43,484 -You ready? -When you are. 33 00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:48,957 No, not now. No photos. Clear the way. 34 00:05:13,734 --> 00:05:15,006 Come on. 35 00:05:16,027 --> 00:05:18,310 Get ready. Let's go. 36 00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:27,024 No, not now. After, after. 37 00:05:43,754 --> 00:05:46,537 I have nothing to do with this. I was forced. 38 00:05:46,756 --> 00:05:47,538 Open the door. 39 00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:51,749 I can't. You see that red light? They're recording. 40 00:05:52,343 --> 00:05:54,959 This is destruction of justice. 41 00:05:55,178 --> 00:05:57,711 -Obstruction. -Don't correct me in public! 42 00:05:58,013 --> 00:06:01,213 Now we're accomplices. Open the door. 43 00:06:01,432 --> 00:06:05,258 Fuck that. They can arrest them in half an hour. 44 00:06:05,518 --> 00:06:08,083 Besides, where's their search warrant? 45 00:06:11,314 --> 00:06:14,723 -That was a shot, man. -Everything's under control. 46 00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:17,225 It must be part of the show. 47 00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:21,728 You see? It's a comedy program. 48 00:06:21,947 --> 00:06:24,188 This show hasn't got any shooting. 49 00:06:24,448 --> 00:06:26,438 You're right. Open the damn door. 50 00:06:26,699 --> 00:06:28,356 What's going on in there? 51 00:06:28,617 --> 00:06:32,307 They're fantastic. Everyone's laughing. 52 00:06:36,539 --> 00:06:37,613 You fat shit. 53 00:06:43,377 --> 00:06:45,994 I'd rather be fat than have bad breath. 54 00:06:50,341 --> 00:06:52,874 It's not my breath, it's your feet. 55 00:06:53,093 --> 00:06:57,085 You can't trust someone who never washes his feet. 56 00:07:12,730 --> 00:07:14,471 Call an ambulance! 57 00:07:19,819 --> 00:07:21,090 Oh shit! 58 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:35,485 Please, everyone remain calm. Stay in your seats. 59 00:07:35,746 --> 00:07:39,863 It's all right. It's all part of the show. 60 00:07:47,129 --> 00:07:49,453 Well, this is the end. 61 00:07:50,798 --> 00:07:53,706 I hate people who say " I told you so", 62 00:07:54,134 --> 00:07:56,583 but I knew it would come to this. 63 00:07:57,094 --> 00:08:00,127 I could have even prevented it. Christ. 64 00:08:01,347 --> 00:08:05,119 It was all my idea. Even the names, Nino and Bruno. 65 00:08:06,892 --> 00:08:10,300 They'd met before. At least they say they had. 66 00:08:11,645 --> 00:08:14,386 It all began in a disco in a small town, 67 00:08:14,605 --> 00:08:16,179 around 1972. 68 00:08:17,316 --> 00:08:19,015 Nino was a singer. 69 00:08:19,317 --> 00:08:22,017 One of those who copied popular songs. 70 00:08:22,277 --> 00:08:24,602 But his weakness was Nino Bravo. 71 00:08:25,738 --> 00:08:27,771 Free... 72 00:08:27,990 --> 00:08:32,941 Like the rising sun, I'm free... 73 00:08:33,327 --> 00:08:35,484 Like the sea. 74 00:08:36,411 --> 00:08:38,319 Free... 75 00:08:38,538 --> 00:08:42,864 Like the bird that escapes from its cage 76 00:08:43,124 --> 00:08:46,616 and can finally fly. 77 00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:49,077 Free... 78 00:08:49,295 --> 00:08:55,539 Like the winds that gather my sadness and grief, 79 00:08:59,302 --> 00:09:05,879 I'll follow the truth and I'll finally find freedom. 80 00:09:06,140 --> 00:09:09,507 I'll show you freedom, you son of a bitch. 81 00:09:10,226 --> 00:09:14,051 Free, like the rising sun, I'm free, 82 00:09:15,855 --> 00:09:18,471 Like the sea. 83 00:09:19,190 --> 00:09:21,098 Free... 84 00:09:21,317 --> 00:09:23,391 Like the bird that escapes... 85 00:09:23,694 --> 00:09:25,851 I'd never forget I owed you money. 86 00:09:28,322 --> 00:09:30,396 Hey, watch your mouth. 87 00:09:31,449 --> 00:09:34,566 I already fucking told you I'd pay you back! 88 00:09:34,826 --> 00:09:37,984 How much was it again? That much? 89 00:09:47,334 --> 00:09:50,003 No, no. Whatever you say. 90 00:09:50,211 --> 00:09:51,785 I'm no good with money. 91 00:09:53,422 --> 00:09:54,120 Hey, you! 92 00:09:54,631 --> 00:09:56,622 What's up, asshole? 93 00:09:57,925 --> 00:10:01,042 No, nothing. I'll help you 94 00:10:01,302 --> 00:10:03,043 take those to the table. 95 00:10:03,429 --> 00:10:05,170 Anything you want. 96 00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:06,619 Go kill somebody! 97 00:10:19,814 --> 00:10:22,598 Thank you, thank you. And now... 98 00:10:23,525 --> 00:10:24,974 for another masterpiece 99 00:10:25,235 --> 00:10:28,018 by the great Nino Bravo. 100 00:10:28,612 --> 00:10:30,979 For all of you... Noelia. 101 00:10:35,576 --> 00:10:37,608 There's a girl who's the same 102 00:10:38,870 --> 00:10:41,152 but different from the rest. 103 00:10:41,621 --> 00:10:43,403 Relax, man. Let me finish. 104 00:10:44,623 --> 00:10:46,405 I told you I had the money. 105 00:10:46,624 --> 00:10:49,407 It's almost as if I had it... 106 00:10:50,502 --> 00:10:52,034 My friend's got it. 107 00:10:53,254 --> 00:10:54,359 Yeah, I'm positive. 108 00:10:54,588 --> 00:10:56,329 He gets paid today. 109 00:10:57,340 --> 00:11:00,707 Yeah, tomorrow at 12. I'll be there. 110 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:06,617 ...and I only know her name is Noelia. 111 00:11:09,890 --> 00:11:12,674 I've lived for her for a long time, 112 00:11:14,017 --> 00:11:17,176 and I only know her name is Noelia. 113 00:11:17,478 --> 00:11:20,220 -How's it going? -Weathering the storm. 114 00:11:20,439 --> 00:11:22,013 We're out of Pachar�n. 115 00:11:22,273 --> 00:11:25,265 Give them whatever you've got and keep smiling. 116 00:11:25,525 --> 00:11:27,391 I don't want any trouble. 117 00:11:27,652 --> 00:11:28,840 It seems like 118 00:11:30,279 --> 00:11:32,676 she's going to call me, 119 00:11:33,072 --> 00:11:34,605 then she runs away 120 00:11:35,157 --> 00:11:36,564 without speaking. 121 00:11:36,950 --> 00:11:38,441 I've dreamed of her 122 00:11:38,660 --> 00:11:40,651 for a long time, 123 00:11:43,038 --> 00:11:44,779 and I only know her name is 124 00:11:45,164 --> 00:11:46,696 Noelia. 125 00:11:49,124 --> 00:11:51,866 I've lived for her for a long time, 126 00:11:53,544 --> 00:11:55,744 and I only know her name is 127 00:11:56,296 --> 00:11:58,245 Noelia. 128 00:11:59,131 --> 00:12:02,905 Noelia, Noelia, Noelia. 129 00:12:04,719 --> 00:12:05,667 Noelia, Noelia... 130 00:12:44,579 --> 00:12:46,195 He's killed my girlfriend! 131 00:12:47,456 --> 00:12:50,197 You killed our company mascot. 132 00:12:50,416 --> 00:12:53,240 -I can't fucking believe it. -You ruined our manoeuvres. 133 00:12:53,501 --> 00:12:55,242 Bastardo, asesino! 134 00:12:55,961 --> 00:12:59,328 I didn't touch it. I love animals. 135 00:12:59,547 --> 00:13:01,997 Don't be smart, asshole. 136 00:13:02,341 --> 00:13:04,707 Easy, now. Are you sure it's dead? 137 00:13:04,967 --> 00:13:06,291 Maybe you should give it 138 00:13:06,510 --> 00:13:08,293 mouth to mouth, you fuckhead. 139 00:13:08,553 --> 00:13:09,919 What have you done? 140 00:13:10,138 --> 00:13:12,535 It wasn't me. Maybe it had a heart attack. 141 00:13:13,473 --> 00:13:17,164 Relax, boys. Don't get excited. It was an accident. 142 00:13:17,435 --> 00:13:20,051 Have a drink and calm down. On the house. 143 00:13:20,937 --> 00:13:22,208 What do you say? 144 00:13:32,361 --> 00:13:33,851 Merry Christmas! 145 00:13:36,113 --> 00:13:38,678 I'm going this way. 146 00:13:38,949 --> 00:13:42,191 Don't worry, the insurance will cover it. 147 00:13:42,410 --> 00:13:45,526 -What insurance? -That's true. 148 00:13:47,121 --> 00:13:50,029 Come on, cheer up. It's no big deal. 149 00:13:50,248 --> 00:13:52,646 They only made you dance like that goat. 150 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:54,949 Though making you eat those flowers... 151 00:13:55,209 --> 00:13:56,867 Especially the plastic ones. 152 00:13:57,169 --> 00:14:00,161 Shit, you didn't say how far away you lived. 153 00:14:00,379 --> 00:14:02,829 -Seven more kilometres! -But it's downhill. 154 00:14:03,257 --> 00:14:04,914 I don't even know your name. 155 00:14:05,133 --> 00:14:07,749 Joaquin Molina. But they call me Nino. 156 00:14:08,093 --> 00:14:10,918 Yeah right, after Nino Bravo. I'm Jose Luis. 157 00:14:11,179 --> 00:14:12,450 After your father? 158 00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:14,838 No, I'm an orphan. 159 00:14:15,056 --> 00:14:16,631 -Sorry. -It's all right. 160 00:14:16,849 --> 00:14:20,341 I barely remember. You said you live with your mother. 161 00:14:21,478 --> 00:14:22,802 Not exactly. 162 00:14:25,146 --> 00:14:26,220 -Psycho! -That's Visir. 163 00:14:26,564 --> 00:14:29,013 It's like living alone. Visir hates me. 164 00:14:29,232 --> 00:14:30,056 So does my mother. 165 00:14:34,027 --> 00:14:35,184 What's this? 166 00:14:35,862 --> 00:14:38,478 Nothing... they're from my mom's lingerie shop... 167 00:14:38,697 --> 00:14:40,104 Leftovers from last season. 168 00:14:40,365 --> 00:14:42,064 They don't fit below. 169 00:14:42,283 --> 00:14:44,983 Relax. You don't have to explain. 170 00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:46,974 Each to his own. 171 00:14:59,586 --> 00:15:03,078 Listen, Jos� Luis. I think we have to leave. 172 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:06,205 Why? We just got here. 173 00:15:06,424 --> 00:15:09,124 My mother doesn't like strangers. 174 00:15:09,343 --> 00:15:11,667 She'll try to take my socks off. 175 00:15:11,970 --> 00:15:13,669 -It's not the first time. -Your socks? 176 00:15:13,888 --> 00:15:15,045 My lucky socks. 177 00:15:17,724 --> 00:15:21,049 They're my good luck charm. Since I started singing. 178 00:15:21,268 --> 00:15:24,343 -Which was...? -Two years and 9 months ago. 179 00:15:24,812 --> 00:15:28,221 She hasn't spoken to me since. 180 00:15:28,648 --> 00:15:32,504 You haven't taken those off in three years? 181 00:15:32,775 --> 00:15:35,933 Never. Like the cross around my neck. They bring me luck. 182 00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:38,143 Got you far, haven't they? 183 00:15:38,404 --> 00:15:41,729 It sounds ridiculous. But if I washed them, 184 00:15:41,948 --> 00:15:43,939 they'd lose their esoteric powers. 185 00:15:44,366 --> 00:15:46,691 I have a plan, so tell me what you think. 186 00:15:46,952 --> 00:15:49,234 Tomorrow we're going to Madrid. 187 00:15:49,495 --> 00:15:50,277 Madrid? Why? 188 00:15:50,496 --> 00:15:54,436 To get you out of here, that's why. You can't stay here. 189 00:15:54,665 --> 00:15:57,949 Besides, the club is going to be closed a while. 190 00:15:58,585 --> 00:16:01,409 But what will we do there? 191 00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:03,076 You're a singer, right? 192 00:16:03,712 --> 00:16:04,734 Yeah, but... 193 00:16:04,963 --> 00:16:07,872 I have a friend from San Ildefonso School... 194 00:16:08,132 --> 00:16:09,373 That's where they sing... 195 00:16:09,633 --> 00:16:11,999 The lottery numbers. I did it twice... So this guy 196 00:16:12,302 --> 00:16:14,084 did a casting for a TV show. 197 00:16:14,428 --> 00:16:15,252 A "castis"? 198 00:16:15,471 --> 00:16:17,128 "Casting". It's English. 199 00:16:17,347 --> 00:16:19,880 My English is pretty basic. 200 00:16:20,099 --> 00:16:22,215 Hello, good morning, arrivederci... 201 00:16:22,434 --> 00:16:25,134 No, it's for performers. It's a contest. 202 00:16:27,479 --> 00:16:28,803 And leave my mother? 203 00:16:29,856 --> 00:16:32,846 Look, Joaquin. It's time to grow up 204 00:16:33,107 --> 00:16:34,639 and live your own life. 205 00:16:37,402 --> 00:16:40,070 Hey, I'm here because I want to be. 206 00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:42,885 I could have left a million times. 207 00:16:43,114 --> 00:16:46,273 I don't need you, or your "castrins". 208 00:16:48,660 --> 00:16:51,328 I'm with my mother because I love her. 209 00:16:51,912 --> 00:16:54,528 Even if she doesn't talk to me. 210 00:16:55,623 --> 00:16:58,656 Since my father died I'm all she has. 211 00:16:58,875 --> 00:17:01,658 -Are you coming or not? -Of course I am. 212 00:17:04,628 --> 00:17:06,786 Let's go! Don't piss me off! Goddammit! 213 00:17:07,005 --> 00:17:09,486 Let's hurry this up, please! 214 00:17:09,924 --> 00:17:12,207 The ventriloquists can leave. 215 00:17:12,425 --> 00:17:15,542 Comics and impersonators! No fucking dolls! 216 00:17:15,761 --> 00:17:18,920 Hey! The shark doesn't go there, you shithead! 217 00:17:19,430 --> 00:17:21,880 What the fuck is this? You. Out. 218 00:17:22,099 --> 00:17:25,633 You see? Comics and impersonators. No singers. 219 00:17:25,893 --> 00:17:28,218 So? You're an impersonator. 220 00:17:28,437 --> 00:17:30,094 What do you mean? 221 00:17:30,313 --> 00:17:32,137 -You do Nino Bravo. -No, I don't. 222 00:17:32,356 --> 00:17:34,754 I use his songs. It's different. 223 00:17:34,983 --> 00:17:38,808 You copy his voice, his songs, his clothes... 224 00:17:39,026 --> 00:17:42,852 -It's in homage. -So you're a homager. 225 00:17:43,446 --> 00:17:45,844 As long as it makes them laugh. 226 00:17:46,073 --> 00:17:48,554 But why does it have to be funny? 227 00:17:48,783 --> 00:17:50,899 I'm a singer. And what are you? 228 00:17:51,118 --> 00:17:54,610 They might need a good-looking host for the program. 229 00:17:54,829 --> 00:17:55,611 You're an actor? 230 00:17:55,830 --> 00:17:58,071 Sure. I was in "55 Days in Peking." 231 00:17:58,332 --> 00:17:59,603 -As an actor? -As a Chinaman. 232 00:17:59,833 --> 00:18:02,908 One of 5000. You can just barely see me. 233 00:18:03,127 --> 00:18:04,868 I was near the front. 234 00:18:05,086 --> 00:18:07,244 Where the fuck are the Romans? 235 00:18:07,463 --> 00:18:09,860 So you'd take any job they offer. 236 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:13,946 Once we get a foot in the door we can change. 237 00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:15,874 -It won't work. -Look at those legs. 238 00:18:16,093 --> 00:18:18,334 Have you ever seen legs that long? 239 00:18:18,553 --> 00:18:21,962 No fucking way. It's already worth the trip. 240 00:18:22,181 --> 00:18:24,088 We've got nothing to lose. 241 00:18:24,391 --> 00:18:27,716 In person they look bigger. So juicy... 242 00:18:28,310 --> 00:18:31,344 -and soft on top. -Because it's flesh, not plastic. 243 00:18:31,562 --> 00:18:33,262 Right there, a step away. 244 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,430 My God! They're moving! 245 00:18:35,649 --> 00:18:36,837 You could just reach out 246 00:18:37,108 --> 00:18:38,265 and stroke those thighs. 247 00:18:38,484 --> 00:18:41,266 -Don't say thighs. -Thighs, thighs, thighs. 248 00:18:42,027 --> 00:18:42,809 Shit! 249 00:18:43,070 --> 00:18:45,738 Ask whatever you want of me but... comedy! 250 00:18:46,155 --> 00:18:48,146 What's wrong? Women love comics. 251 00:18:48,490 --> 00:18:51,190 What if nobody laughs? How embarrassing! 252 00:18:51,450 --> 00:18:54,150 You can't be a tight-ass forever. 253 00:18:54,536 --> 00:18:58,653 Okay. We go in, we make fools of ourselves, we leave. 254 00:18:58,872 --> 00:18:59,779 -Happy? -Happy. 255 00:19:01,166 --> 00:19:03,782 Look, I never said it was for sure. 256 00:19:04,001 --> 00:19:06,399 I said your chances were good. 257 00:19:06,628 --> 00:19:09,077 What I can't do is work miracles. 258 00:19:09,421 --> 00:19:11,246 It's you who'll need a miracle! 259 00:19:11,465 --> 00:19:13,580 First we want our money back. 260 00:19:13,799 --> 00:19:17,791 Those are sign-up fees. You have to be more convincing. 261 00:19:18,052 --> 00:19:20,084 Did you think it would be easy? 262 00:19:20,387 --> 00:19:23,170 But we didn't even perform. They told us to go home. 263 00:19:24,514 --> 00:19:26,672 -They said that? -That's right. 264 00:19:27,558 --> 00:19:31,384 Well, in that case... I'll be straight with you. 265 00:19:31,644 --> 00:19:34,125 They didn't like you. 266 00:19:34,396 --> 00:19:37,972 -Maybe it was the outfits. -They're traditional. 267 00:19:38,232 --> 00:19:41,923 I know, but they need some glitter, something shiny... 268 00:19:42,194 --> 00:19:44,101 -I'll give you something shiny. -Hey, relax. 269 00:19:44,319 --> 00:19:47,269 Calm down, this won't get us anywhere. 270 00:19:48,364 --> 00:19:52,356 Look. At this point all I can do is go in there, 271 00:19:52,908 --> 00:19:56,849 and talk to Chicho, who happens to be a friend of mine. 272 00:19:57,161 --> 00:20:01,529 If there's a second round of casting your act could get picked. 273 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:05,699 If there isn't your ass gets kicked. 274 00:20:21,261 --> 00:20:23,742 Let's not get carried away, girls. 275 00:20:24,096 --> 00:20:27,129 That's fine. Thank you very much. 276 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:31,580 -Can we sing another? -Like " lrai litol player." 277 00:20:31,852 --> 00:20:34,551 Thanks, but that's enough. 278 00:20:35,854 --> 00:20:37,970 Ventriloquists! Through this door. 279 00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:42,849 Let's see, next up. 280 00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:44,975 Joaquin Molina and Jos� Luis Exp�sito. 281 00:20:45,236 --> 00:20:46,893 Come on. It's our turn. 282 00:20:47,321 --> 00:20:50,437 First the joke about Christ in the desert. 283 00:20:50,697 --> 00:20:52,897 Then sing that " Free" thing you do so well. 284 00:20:54,575 --> 00:20:57,316 Is there another exit around here? 285 00:20:58,036 --> 00:21:00,277 They're casting the comedians. 286 00:21:00,662 --> 00:21:03,196 -Those are comedians? -So they say. 287 00:21:03,873 --> 00:21:04,947 They suck. 288 00:21:05,166 --> 00:21:07,449 The chubby one is adorable. 289 00:21:07,709 --> 00:21:10,534 -The other one's sexy. -They're hilarious. 290 00:21:11,587 --> 00:21:14,453 They said no dolls? Well, he's human! 291 00:21:15,173 --> 00:21:16,663 At times you can't tell, 292 00:21:16,966 --> 00:21:20,081 but depending on the circumstances, 293 00:21:20,300 --> 00:21:22,375 he even looks human, right? 294 00:21:23,011 --> 00:21:25,752 He even studies and knows things. 295 00:21:25,971 --> 00:21:27,211 He's tenacious. 296 00:21:28,723 --> 00:21:31,548 Why am I saying this? Well, why not? 297 00:21:33,935 --> 00:21:36,051 -What happened? -You screwed it up. 298 00:21:36,270 --> 00:21:40,127 Shit! I forgot what Christ was doing in the desert. 299 00:21:40,356 --> 00:21:42,889 Forget it. You can make the 1 2:00 bus. 300 00:21:43,150 --> 00:21:45,975 -You're not coming? -No, I'm staying. 301 00:21:46,652 --> 00:21:49,435 -What will you do? -I'll find a job. 302 00:21:49,654 --> 00:21:51,479 -As a waiter? -No, never again. 303 00:21:51,739 --> 00:21:53,854 -Well, what? -I don't know. 304 00:21:54,073 --> 00:21:57,232 But, look. Admit it. I'm not funny. 305 00:21:57,450 --> 00:22:00,400 I laugh, but I don't even get the jokes. 306 00:22:00,661 --> 00:22:02,986 And you just chase women. 307 00:22:03,246 --> 00:22:05,237 That's not funny. It's pathetic. 308 00:22:05,456 --> 00:22:07,239 What great vibes! 309 00:22:07,458 --> 00:22:10,866 I'm not being negative. Look at these people. 310 00:22:11,085 --> 00:22:14,744 Their lives are boring. And though it's hard to admit, 311 00:22:14,963 --> 00:22:17,204 we're just like them. 312 00:22:17,423 --> 00:22:19,539 I see why your mom won't talk to you. 313 00:22:20,050 --> 00:22:23,667 It's not like you have a fairy godmother 314 00:22:23,885 --> 00:22:25,834 to save your ass. 315 00:22:26,095 --> 00:22:28,794 Can I speak to you two for a second? 316 00:22:29,013 --> 00:22:32,214 -We're busy. What do you want? -I'm your fairy godmother. 317 00:22:33,225 --> 00:22:37,509 Hern�n Cort�s conquered an empire on guts alone. 318 00:22:37,728 --> 00:22:40,803 Where was he from? A little town in Extramadura. 319 00:22:41,022 --> 00:22:42,638 He was unknown in Madrid. 320 00:22:42,856 --> 00:22:44,305 -What's he on about? -I don't know. 321 00:22:44,524 --> 00:22:46,015 What is this? 322 00:22:46,234 --> 00:22:50,226 We just want to get in show business, not conquer America. 323 00:22:50,529 --> 00:22:54,385 That's why I brought you here, to show you the best. 324 00:22:54,698 --> 00:22:55,688 Fof� the clown! 325 00:22:56,907 --> 00:22:59,732 -Are you kidding? -Look, son. I forgive you, 326 00:22:59,993 --> 00:23:01,942 because you're obviously ignorant. 327 00:23:02,161 --> 00:23:06,528 These people are the top of show business, the cr�me de la cr�me. 328 00:23:07,248 --> 00:23:10,531 That man says " How are you?" on TV, and all of Spain screams 329 00:23:10,792 --> 00:23:12,157 " Fine". 330 00:23:12,376 --> 00:23:16,952 But these people had training, a teacher... 331 00:23:18,089 --> 00:23:19,704 I'm the teacher. 332 00:23:19,923 --> 00:23:21,330 -Of all of them? -Of the best. 333 00:23:21,591 --> 00:23:25,709 These, for example. You think the hat and tails were their idea? 334 00:23:26,094 --> 00:23:27,418 It was all my idea. 335 00:23:27,637 --> 00:23:31,409 And their name? They called themselves "The Funny Couple". 336 00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:35,454 I told them, " No way. Tip and Coll." It's catchy. Tip and Coll. 337 00:23:35,850 --> 00:23:37,841 -It is catchy. -Of course it's catchy. 338 00:23:38,310 --> 00:23:41,510 Imagine, "Ortega and Gassett". Not a chance. 339 00:23:41,729 --> 00:23:43,679 The name's the most important thing. 340 00:23:43,897 --> 00:23:45,763 So you're Tipp and Coll's agent? 341 00:23:46,024 --> 00:23:49,516 I didn't say that. We were like... brothers, 342 00:23:49,860 --> 00:23:53,102 before all the big shows. But that's another story. 343 00:23:53,571 --> 00:23:56,021 We'll do our own thing. 344 00:23:56,281 --> 00:23:58,230 Do you want to give it a shot? 345 00:23:58,825 --> 00:24:01,065 You think we'd be good comics? 346 00:24:01,325 --> 00:24:02,858 Right now you suck, 347 00:24:03,118 --> 00:24:04,390 truth be told. 348 00:24:04,661 --> 00:24:08,070 But, there's something there, a feeling... 349 00:24:08,330 --> 00:24:10,895 So now we have an agent, like the big stars. 350 00:24:11,124 --> 00:24:14,950 Hold on, kid. Only a lucky few get to be big stars. 351 00:24:15,168 --> 00:24:18,369 You have to work your ass off, from the bottom up, 352 00:24:18,588 --> 00:24:21,204 polishing your jokes as if they were diamonds, 353 00:24:21,465 --> 00:24:23,497 until they're perfect. 354 00:24:23,883 --> 00:24:26,280 It's slave labour. I'll destroy you. 355 00:24:26,551 --> 00:24:27,375 When do we start? 356 00:24:27,719 --> 00:24:29,251 We already have. 357 00:24:43,604 --> 00:24:47,013 Christ is driving a Seat 600. What happens? 358 00:24:47,232 --> 00:24:49,389 Christ is driving... in the desert... 359 00:24:49,608 --> 00:24:53,017 He sees Muhammad, who asks him: "Seen any mountains?" 360 00:24:53,278 --> 00:24:56,645 It sounds like you're the one they fucking crucified! 361 00:24:56,863 --> 00:24:59,344 Liven it up a bit. Try to have fun. 362 00:24:59,991 --> 00:25:02,148 Christ is in the desert... 363 00:25:02,534 --> 00:25:04,931 and he sees Muhammad... who asks him... 364 00:25:05,619 --> 00:25:08,183 -"Seen any..." -Are you stupid? 365 00:25:08,412 --> 00:25:11,863 -Never laugh at your own jokes. -That's comic suicide. 366 00:25:12,082 --> 00:25:14,990 -We've rehearsed it 100 times. -I know, but... 367 00:25:15,584 --> 00:25:17,075 -But what? -No buts. 368 00:26:31,260 --> 00:26:32,449 -I'm leaving. -Wait. 369 00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:34,419 -You have your socks? -Of course. 370 00:26:34,638 --> 00:26:37,921 -So what's the fucking problem? -I don't get the joke. 371 00:26:38,140 --> 00:26:41,006 I don't get why Christ is driving a Seat 600. 372 00:26:41,225 --> 00:26:43,966 Why a 600? Because you say so? 373 00:26:45,853 --> 00:26:49,262 Hey! It's a 600! It's obvious, isn't it? 374 00:26:49,939 --> 00:26:52,180 It doesn't matter. Forget it. 375 00:26:52,399 --> 00:26:55,224 Start with the studdering faggot who says: 376 00:26:55,443 --> 00:26:57,726 "g-g-g-g-roovy" and ends up in a convent. 377 00:26:57,945 --> 00:27:00,311 -I can't, I can't. -But everyone gets it. 378 00:27:00,863 --> 00:27:04,314 Relax, they'll laugh. Don't be afraid. 379 00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:10,683 Back off! Get back, you bastards! 380 00:27:11,286 --> 00:27:12,861 Come on, run! 381 00:27:13,246 --> 00:27:15,529 I'll never do this again! 382 00:27:16,207 --> 00:27:19,282 Let's go. It's your turn. 383 00:27:19,542 --> 00:27:21,408 Good luck, good luck. 384 00:27:25,463 --> 00:27:27,329 And now, two exceptional comedians... 385 00:27:27,548 --> 00:27:30,456 The hilarious, Nino... 386 00:27:31,801 --> 00:27:33,500 Bruno and Nino! 387 00:27:35,887 --> 00:27:37,378 I'm Bruno? 388 00:27:37,972 --> 00:27:39,379 Good evening, everyone. 389 00:27:41,516 --> 00:27:43,589 It's a pleasure to be here 390 00:27:43,892 --> 00:27:44,965 for this intimate 391 00:27:45,226 --> 00:27:46,216 Local celebration. 392 00:27:46,435 --> 00:27:47,457 Show us your tits! 393 00:27:48,228 --> 00:27:51,053 Well, I see there's another comic out there. 394 00:27:51,606 --> 00:27:54,681 But I think tonight two is enough. Right, Nino? 395 00:27:56,776 --> 00:27:58,100 Say something. Anything. 396 00:27:58,402 --> 00:28:00,143 Christ was... was... 397 00:28:03,906 --> 00:28:05,813 Come on! Say something! 398 00:28:06,032 --> 00:28:08,941 Don't believe this means he has nothing to say. 399 00:28:09,451 --> 00:28:12,401 He's actually a joke-telling machine. 400 00:28:12,704 --> 00:28:15,184 He knows them all. It's just that, 401 00:28:15,413 --> 00:28:16,987 a smart crowd makes him nervous. 402 00:28:17,206 --> 00:28:18,780 He's "The Autistic Comic." 403 00:28:19,666 --> 00:28:21,032 Asshole! 404 00:28:23,419 --> 00:28:26,118 You see this face of an imbecile? 405 00:28:26,713 --> 00:28:30,163 Well, he might be thinking of a joke to tell. 406 00:28:30,424 --> 00:28:34,197 Maybe, the one about the studdering faggot? 407 00:28:35,510 --> 00:28:38,377 Are you going to tell us the joke? 408 00:28:46,643 --> 00:28:49,207 Smack him and see if he wakes up! 409 00:28:49,811 --> 00:28:53,220 Normally we don't take requests from the audience, 410 00:28:53,439 --> 00:28:55,888 but tonight we might make an exception. 411 00:28:56,816 --> 00:28:59,266 Christ... 600... Christ... 412 00:28:59,526 --> 00:29:03,383 We're going to perform an exercise in reanimation. 413 00:29:04,447 --> 00:29:07,313 Nino, are you going to tell the joke? 414 00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:18,071 Come on, Nino. 415 00:29:19,331 --> 00:29:21,113 What's up, mosquito-brain? 416 00:29:40,054 --> 00:29:42,003 -Hit me again. -What? 417 00:29:42,222 --> 00:29:44,171 They're laughing. Hit me again. 418 00:29:47,392 --> 00:29:49,050 That moment I realised. 419 00:29:51,269 --> 00:29:54,845 A slap in the face. So simple. So brutal. 420 00:29:55,939 --> 00:29:57,127 So absurd. 421 00:29:58,524 --> 00:30:01,975 Slap after slap. People laughed their heads off. 422 00:30:02,402 --> 00:30:05,352 That slap was an act of total anarchy. 423 00:30:05,613 --> 00:30:08,563 "The liberation of all ethical compromise"... 424 00:30:08,781 --> 00:30:10,772 as one newspaper put it. 425 00:30:18,246 --> 00:30:21,405 Bruno did on stage what we've all wanted to do. 426 00:30:21,624 --> 00:30:25,282 Slap someone with impunity, with indifference, 427 00:30:25,542 --> 00:30:27,158 without being punished. 428 00:30:28,544 --> 00:30:32,287 Villalpando, Toledo, Malaga, Torremolinos. 429 00:30:32,589 --> 00:30:35,456 Always the same effect. Like pressing a button. 430 00:30:35,966 --> 00:30:38,333 To slap our boss, our mother-in-law, 431 00:30:38,593 --> 00:30:40,709 the President, the Pope. 432 00:30:40,928 --> 00:30:44,045 Yes, it was strangely immoral. Sinister, even. 433 00:30:44,264 --> 00:30:47,005 But isn't that true of all life's pleasures? 434 00:31:01,442 --> 00:31:04,225 Shit, Gila. I'm telling you, fuck! 435 00:31:04,444 --> 00:31:07,269 Look. Don't tell anyone this, but... 436 00:31:07,529 --> 00:31:09,729 without me he's nobody. You got it? 437 00:31:09,948 --> 00:31:12,772 I even told you about the phone, shit. 438 00:31:13,033 --> 00:31:14,357 Yeah, the phone. 439 00:31:14,618 --> 00:31:16,900 That was my idea, you know? 440 00:31:17,161 --> 00:31:19,558 -Is this from Ibiza? -You like my ring? 441 00:31:19,830 --> 00:31:22,310 Let's go out to my car. Feeling naughty? 442 00:31:22,540 --> 00:31:23,697 Before you get drunk... 443 00:31:25,250 --> 00:31:27,157 I want to talk to you alone. 444 00:31:28,251 --> 00:31:30,451 -You like the blond, eh? -Shut up, silly. 445 00:31:31,170 --> 00:31:33,203 Yeah, but... it's about the act. 446 00:31:33,713 --> 00:31:35,746 Forget the act. Live a little. 447 00:31:36,048 --> 00:31:38,331 That's my intention. 448 00:31:38,550 --> 00:31:40,541 That's why I need to know. 449 00:31:41,385 --> 00:31:42,209 Know what? 450 00:31:42,845 --> 00:31:45,586 When will you stop slapping me? 451 00:31:45,889 --> 00:31:49,047 Never. That's the key to our success. 452 00:31:49,308 --> 00:31:52,800 I know. But we could make a little change. 453 00:31:53,561 --> 00:31:54,666 For example? 454 00:31:56,021 --> 00:31:59,345 Well, I could slap you sometimes. 455 00:32:00,148 --> 00:32:02,430 But that's not funny at all. 456 00:32:02,774 --> 00:32:04,015 Not funny? 457 00:32:04,275 --> 00:32:06,944 No, the cute guy has to slap the ugly guy. 458 00:32:07,569 --> 00:32:09,185 Why are you the cute guy? 459 00:32:09,529 --> 00:32:11,895 Come on, Nino. Try to be objective. 460 00:32:13,699 --> 00:32:17,472 Excuse me, I want to ask a favour. My friend's ashamed. 461 00:32:17,702 --> 00:32:18,807 You may be right after all. 462 00:32:19,870 --> 00:32:21,569 Sure. Anything. 463 00:32:22,538 --> 00:32:25,405 Well... I'd like to do it to you. 464 00:32:25,957 --> 00:32:28,032 " Do it to you"? She's all yours. 465 00:32:28,292 --> 00:32:29,199 Do what to me? 466 00:32:33,587 --> 00:32:36,495 -I didn't hurt you, did l? -She's wanted to ever since 467 00:32:36,756 --> 00:32:37,746 she first saw you. 468 00:32:37,965 --> 00:32:41,207 You were born for this. It's an animal attraction. 469 00:32:41,426 --> 00:32:42,875 His face begs to be slapped. 470 00:32:43,093 --> 00:32:45,835 Right, girls? Come on, let's dance. 471 00:33:02,482 --> 00:33:06,140 -Sorry, I got the wrong... -Hey, you're Bruno! 472 00:33:06,401 --> 00:33:10,059 No, I'm Nino. Bruno's the funny one. 473 00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:13,895 Hi. I'm Laura. And I think you're funnier. 474 00:33:14,114 --> 00:33:15,355 You deserve credit. 475 00:33:15,574 --> 00:33:17,690 -You think so? -Yes. 476 00:33:18,242 --> 00:33:21,693 It's that face you make. How do you do it? 477 00:33:22,704 --> 00:33:25,268 I don't know. It's natural. 478 00:33:26,331 --> 00:33:28,322 His name is known in all the world. 479 00:33:32,002 --> 00:33:36,243 He has very special powers. Today he'll demonstrate. 480 00:33:36,462 --> 00:33:40,288 What will Uri Geller show us tonight? 481 00:33:47,220 --> 00:33:48,294 He says 482 00:33:48,513 --> 00:33:52,203 he will show us what made him famous in the world. 483 00:33:53,933 --> 00:33:55,257 He says on the table... 484 00:33:56,101 --> 00:34:00,010 He says there are many spoons, not his spoons, obviously ours. 485 00:34:00,396 --> 00:34:01,720 We've met before. 486 00:34:01,980 --> 00:34:03,054 -Really? -Yeah. 487 00:34:03,356 --> 00:34:05,181 I'll give you a hint. 488 00:34:09,151 --> 00:34:10,339 In that contest. 489 00:34:11,986 --> 00:34:15,478 You had the same glasses, and your legs... 490 00:34:16,156 --> 00:34:18,022 I saw your audition. You were great. 491 00:34:18,241 --> 00:34:19,857 Ah, that was nothing. 492 00:34:20,075 --> 00:34:22,066 But you were so clear about it. 493 00:34:22,494 --> 00:34:25,861 Well, the idea, the germ was there. 494 00:34:26,330 --> 00:34:30,270 Later we polished it, because humour is like a diamond. 495 00:34:30,499 --> 00:34:32,365 You have to polish it. 496 00:34:32,584 --> 00:34:34,659 It's admirable to know what you want. 497 00:34:34,878 --> 00:34:38,119 First I wanted to be a missionary, then an actress. 498 00:34:38,379 --> 00:34:39,745 Now I study law. 499 00:34:40,172 --> 00:34:41,329 To be a lawyer? 500 00:34:41,590 --> 00:34:42,663 No, to go on strike. 501 00:34:43,466 --> 00:34:45,207 Don't tell anyone, but I'm in the C.N.T... 502 00:34:45,426 --> 00:34:48,501 An anarchist! You could go to jail for that. 503 00:34:49,595 --> 00:34:53,713 I hope so. It might be the only safe place in the future. 504 00:34:54,390 --> 00:34:57,674 Unbelievable! Missionary, revolutionary... 505 00:34:58,101 --> 00:34:59,717 and you're, well... 506 00:35:00,353 --> 00:35:02,094 you don't look like an activist. 507 00:35:02,313 --> 00:35:03,553 Can I do something? 508 00:35:05,398 --> 00:35:06,638 It depends. 509 00:35:06,857 --> 00:35:08,557 I won't hurt you. 510 00:35:16,113 --> 00:35:17,478 What was that for? 511 00:35:18,406 --> 00:35:20,564 I like men who make me laugh. 512 00:35:21,116 --> 00:35:23,514 Yeah? Well, I know many jokes. 513 00:35:23,827 --> 00:35:27,600 The studdering faggot, and Christ driving a Seat 600... 514 00:35:27,996 --> 00:35:30,071 in the desert... and Muhammad... 515 00:35:30,331 --> 00:35:33,114 Silence! Everyone shut up! 516 00:35:33,542 --> 00:35:35,283 -Silence! -Who's that? 517 00:35:35,502 --> 00:35:36,992 Some drunk. 518 00:35:37,211 --> 00:35:38,399 He wanted to be a singer. 519 00:35:38,670 --> 00:35:42,287 I said no, man. Bend spoons. 520 00:35:42,505 --> 00:35:45,070 Pass these around. 521 00:35:47,301 --> 00:35:49,083 Look. Take the spoon. 522 00:35:53,013 --> 00:35:54,795 Take the spoon. 523 00:35:55,473 --> 00:35:56,713 Get another. 524 00:35:56,932 --> 00:36:00,706 Forks? No way! But spoons? A fucking great idea! 525 00:36:01,227 --> 00:36:05,720 Look. This guy's a friend... a friend... until death. 526 00:36:07,064 --> 00:36:09,806 Look, look, look. Do it. Fuck. You do it. 527 00:36:28,870 --> 00:36:30,695 I'll teach you to use your tongue. 528 00:36:35,083 --> 00:36:36,991 No, don't listen to him. 529 00:36:37,460 --> 00:36:38,481 Look, look, look. Fuck. 530 00:36:43,297 --> 00:36:45,163 It's cold. Completely cold. 531 00:37:04,686 --> 00:37:06,969 He bent the spoon! 532 00:37:07,605 --> 00:37:09,721 This guy has powers. 533 00:37:10,149 --> 00:37:11,764 This guy has powers! 534 00:37:57,597 --> 00:37:58,702 Die, fucker! 535 00:37:58,931 --> 00:38:01,089 -Are you crazy? -What's she doing here? 536 00:38:01,308 --> 00:38:02,413 -Who? -Laura. 537 00:38:02,809 --> 00:38:04,883 Laura? Her name's Laura? 538 00:38:05,102 --> 00:38:07,499 That's right, asshole. She studies law. 539 00:38:07,729 --> 00:38:09,219 -You know her? -Before you. 540 00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:12,430 -Wild, isn't she? -Shut up. Don't say that. 541 00:38:12,774 --> 00:38:14,390 How could you fuck me over like this? 542 00:38:14,609 --> 00:38:17,934 What, is she an old girlfriend from school? 543 00:38:18,945 --> 00:38:22,186 You fuck before you even ask her name? 544 00:38:22,738 --> 00:38:25,063 With women you have two options. 545 00:38:25,323 --> 00:38:29,775 Please, spare me the neighbourhood stud speech. 546 00:38:30,077 --> 00:38:31,401 You need to hear it. 547 00:38:33,121 --> 00:38:37,530 You can either be the nice little friend and get nothing, 548 00:38:38,041 --> 00:38:41,866 or you can get to the point and get laid. 549 00:38:42,127 --> 00:38:44,160 Let them see your aura, 550 00:38:45,171 --> 00:38:48,538 your magnetism that says... " I want to fuck." 551 00:38:49,090 --> 00:38:50,873 " I want to fuck." 552 00:38:51,342 --> 00:38:53,041 -That's what they understand. -And that's it. 553 00:38:53,260 --> 00:38:55,740 No, later you can have a drink, go to a movie... 554 00:38:55,969 --> 00:38:56,991 You don't know what love is. 555 00:38:57,220 --> 00:38:57,877 And you do. 556 00:38:58,096 --> 00:39:02,088 No, but I sense it. Even in the bathroom with a magazine. 557 00:39:02,307 --> 00:39:03,756 But you're like a cork. 558 00:39:05,017 --> 00:39:06,341 You screw once and get dumped. 559 00:39:06,685 --> 00:39:08,301 Watch it. Nobody dumps me. 560 00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:09,885 -Yeah, sure. -What do you mean, sure? 561 00:39:10,604 --> 00:39:13,221 She won't put up with you for even a week. 562 00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:16,306 Nobody can. Except me, though I don't know why. 563 00:39:16,525 --> 00:39:17,932 -You want to bet? -Anything you want. 564 00:39:18,235 --> 00:39:20,976 -If she leaves me in a week... -We change our name. 565 00:39:21,195 --> 00:39:24,687 -You'd like to be Bruno, eh? -No, dumbshit. The order. 566 00:39:24,906 --> 00:39:28,845 Instead of Bruno and Nino, Nino and Bruno sounds better. 567 00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:31,066 So that's it. You're jealous. 568 00:39:31,285 --> 00:39:33,953 You're the one who arranged the names. 569 00:39:34,162 --> 00:39:36,236 Okay. If I lose, we change the order. 570 00:39:36,455 --> 00:39:38,988 But if you lose, those socks go in the fucking trash. 571 00:39:39,249 --> 00:39:40,489 My... my socks? 572 00:39:40,708 --> 00:39:43,032 Yeah, your lucky socks that stink. 573 00:39:43,251 --> 00:39:46,076 We'll burn them and dance around the fire. 574 00:39:46,504 --> 00:39:50,444 In one week your little reign will be over. 575 00:39:50,673 --> 00:39:53,498 In one week I won't have to explain that smell 576 00:39:53,717 --> 00:39:57,001 of rotting dead sheep! You prim little shit. 577 00:39:57,220 --> 00:39:58,167 I'd rather be prim 578 00:39:58,469 --> 00:39:59,626 than a crude scumbag. 579 00:40:00,179 --> 00:40:01,336 Am I interrupting? 580 00:40:02,472 --> 00:40:04,755 I didn't know you were rehearsing. 581 00:40:26,364 --> 00:40:29,939 So three more days here and then to Toledo. 582 00:40:30,157 --> 00:40:32,190 -Great, Juli�n. -You can meet my cousins. 583 00:40:32,451 --> 00:40:34,567 They work with the Bullfighting Fireman. 584 00:40:34,827 --> 00:40:37,652 But when are we going to Madrid? 585 00:40:37,871 --> 00:40:39,060 -Why Madrid? -Why do you think? 586 00:40:39,331 --> 00:40:41,697 For the hookers? For some fucking exposure. 587 00:40:41,957 --> 00:40:44,032 What's with you? Are you mistreated? 588 00:40:44,251 --> 00:40:45,908 I'm treated great. 589 00:40:46,169 --> 00:40:49,035 All these places belong to your relatives. 590 00:40:49,254 --> 00:40:51,245 Your cousin, or your brother in law. 591 00:40:51,839 --> 00:40:53,747 Are you too good for all this? 592 00:40:54,133 --> 00:40:56,958 No, but I hope you have relatives in Madrid, 593 00:40:57,218 --> 00:40:59,001 or else we'll never go. 594 00:40:59,220 --> 00:41:01,419 So you want to go to Madrid? 595 00:41:02,929 --> 00:41:06,703 Fine, right fucking now. I'll make a few calls. 596 00:41:06,974 --> 00:41:09,507 But don't count on me. I'm out. 597 00:41:09,726 --> 00:41:11,175 What are you saying? 598 00:41:11,769 --> 00:41:15,136 -Am I your manager? -Of course you are. 599 00:41:15,355 --> 00:41:19,556 We're nobody without you. Like Gila. Like Tip and Coll. 600 00:41:20,108 --> 00:41:21,849 Then we go when I say so, got it? 601 00:41:23,778 --> 00:41:25,352 We have to polish the act... 602 00:41:25,612 --> 00:41:28,010 -Like a diamond. -Exactly. 603 00:41:28,239 --> 00:41:31,929 It has to be tight. You don't have any tits to hide behind. 604 00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:34,868 We'll show them. And if it's not funny, 605 00:41:35,118 --> 00:41:37,515 it's over. Fuck it. That's the business. 606 00:41:37,953 --> 00:41:40,403 -Is that clear? -Very clear, Juli�n. 607 00:41:40,622 --> 00:41:43,290 Then enough bullshit. Today we rehearse. 608 00:41:43,499 --> 00:41:44,572 I can't today. 609 00:41:44,791 --> 00:41:45,698 What do you mean? 610 00:41:45,917 --> 00:41:48,200 -I have a meeting. -With whom? 611 00:41:48,419 --> 00:41:51,119 Why should I explain? Someone, that's all. 612 00:41:51,546 --> 00:41:52,495 Hi. 613 00:41:54,131 --> 00:41:57,123 The demonstration is at six. We can get 614 00:41:57,342 --> 00:41:58,666 the pamphlets on the way. 615 00:41:58,968 --> 00:42:02,377 Demonstration? You'll get us all thrown in jail! 616 00:42:02,596 --> 00:42:05,076 It's no big deal, just a little screaming. 617 00:42:05,597 --> 00:42:08,588 We can't sit around while the country goes to shit. 618 00:42:08,974 --> 00:42:11,007 Since when are you into politics? 619 00:42:11,267 --> 00:42:13,258 -Since always. -Yeah? 620 00:42:13,811 --> 00:42:15,927 Who's the Minister of the interior? 621 00:42:16,187 --> 00:42:18,178 The interior? Well... 622 00:42:18,898 --> 00:42:21,973 I'm above your little game. Who the hell cares? 623 00:42:22,192 --> 00:42:23,432 They're all fascists. 624 00:42:23,693 --> 00:42:25,058 Would you please shut up? 625 00:42:26,403 --> 00:42:29,478 -Tomorrow morning we rehearse. -Okay. 626 00:42:29,697 --> 00:42:33,606 I'll leave you some pamphlets, just in case. 627 00:42:33,825 --> 00:42:35,274 See you boys later. 628 00:42:36,076 --> 00:42:39,192 Cover that. They'll arrest us all. 629 00:42:41,079 --> 00:42:43,820 This street is full of... secrets. 630 00:42:44,415 --> 00:42:46,812 People have been nervous lately. 631 00:42:47,041 --> 00:42:49,241 They say General Franco is sick. 632 00:42:49,460 --> 00:42:51,409 They've been saying that for years. 633 00:42:52,170 --> 00:42:53,953 I think it's an actor. 634 00:42:54,338 --> 00:42:58,497 They found some little bald guy to wave from the balcony. 635 00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:01,041 An actor. 636 00:43:01,677 --> 00:43:04,627 -Do you have a printing press? -A printing press? 637 00:43:06,430 --> 00:43:09,463 My poor anarchist got beat up by the police. 638 00:43:09,681 --> 00:43:13,173 A peaceful demonstration. Burning cars and throwing stones. 639 00:43:13,392 --> 00:43:15,790 I was expecting a hippie sit-in. 640 00:43:16,019 --> 00:43:17,760 The hunger strike's next week. 641 00:43:17,979 --> 00:43:20,429 You can count me out. Let someone else save 642 00:43:21,106 --> 00:43:22,013 Spain. 643 00:43:23,233 --> 00:43:25,714 Are you Jos� Luis Exp�sito, alias " Bruno"? 644 00:43:25,943 --> 00:43:27,892 -That's my artistic name. -Whatever. 645 00:43:28,111 --> 00:43:29,935 You, Miss. Get dressed. 646 00:43:30,488 --> 00:43:33,563 -But what did we do? -You know exactly what you did. 647 00:43:33,865 --> 00:43:36,190 -You mean the demonstration? -Don't say anything. 648 00:43:36,867 --> 00:43:39,609 Get her out of here or I'll kick her ass! 649 00:43:39,828 --> 00:43:41,776 She's just nervous. 650 00:43:42,078 --> 00:43:45,278 Would you please shut up and put on your pants? 651 00:43:49,333 --> 00:43:50,407 Fuck! 652 00:43:52,044 --> 00:43:55,119 -What the hell is that? -You know exactly what it is. 653 00:43:55,379 --> 00:43:58,538 -I swear I have no idea. -It's a printing press. 654 00:43:58,757 --> 00:44:02,332 It's used to make pamphlets. Like this one! 655 00:44:02,718 --> 00:44:04,167 I don't understand. 656 00:44:04,386 --> 00:44:06,752 -Are you calling me a liar? -No! God, no. 657 00:44:07,346 --> 00:44:08,878 Ramirez was right about it. 658 00:44:09,097 --> 00:44:11,255 It seems we've found the organisers. 659 00:44:11,516 --> 00:44:15,966 Organisers? I know nothing about this. It must have been... 660 00:44:16,185 --> 00:44:16,841 The girl? 661 00:44:17,060 --> 00:44:19,458 Yes. She's up to her neck in this stuff. 662 00:44:19,770 --> 00:44:22,012 I just wanted her to like me. 663 00:44:22,231 --> 00:44:24,096 He thinks we're fucking idiots! 664 00:44:24,357 --> 00:44:25,806 No disrespect intended, eh? 665 00:44:26,025 --> 00:44:27,641 I'll show you who to respect. 666 00:44:30,111 --> 00:44:34,051 No. It was her. I swear. I'm just a comedian. 667 00:44:34,406 --> 00:44:36,188 We don't think you're funny. 668 00:44:38,659 --> 00:44:40,691 What is this? Another joke? 669 00:44:40,994 --> 00:44:42,015 I didn't make this. 670 00:44:44,913 --> 00:44:47,987 This is crazy. You can't kill me for getting laid! 671 00:44:48,498 --> 00:44:50,406 -What day is it? -Answer, asshole. 672 00:44:50,625 --> 00:44:51,782 You don't know? 673 00:44:54,669 --> 00:44:56,368 April 1st. 674 00:44:56,837 --> 00:45:00,694 April fools! April fools! 675 00:45:01,299 --> 00:45:04,832 How could you fall for these two? The magician and the fakir! 676 00:45:05,927 --> 00:45:08,168 You took it so seriously, Jesus! 677 00:45:08,387 --> 00:45:11,754 You're a bunch of pigs. I almost had a heart attack. 678 00:45:11,973 --> 00:45:12,713 She fell for it. 679 00:45:12,932 --> 00:45:16,257 The truth is, they almost had me going there. 680 00:45:16,476 --> 00:45:18,216 They exaggerated at the end. 681 00:45:19,060 --> 00:45:21,218 Like when you blamed me for everything. 682 00:45:21,437 --> 00:45:24,429 " I didn't do it, it was her." Great stuff. 683 00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:27,180 You heard all that? 684 00:45:27,441 --> 00:45:30,933 We were outside, trying not to piss ourselves. 685 00:45:31,903 --> 00:45:35,895 Shit, Laura. I was faking, just going along with it. 686 00:45:36,114 --> 00:45:37,521 You did a great job. 687 00:45:37,948 --> 00:45:40,815 His face when he saw the pistol! He bought it. 688 00:45:41,076 --> 00:45:44,359 Yeah, the pistol was a nice touch. Fucking great. 689 00:45:44,703 --> 00:45:47,101 Come on, let's have a drink. On Bruno. 690 00:45:47,372 --> 00:45:50,112 Yeah, let's go. I'm buying. 691 00:45:50,623 --> 00:45:53,156 -Friends? -Friends. 692 00:45:53,375 --> 00:45:54,866 No grudges, shit. 693 00:45:55,627 --> 00:45:59,619 -Come on, boys! We fooled him! -You fell for it. 694 00:45:59,838 --> 00:46:01,162 You're a fucking great guy. 695 00:46:06,301 --> 00:46:07,833 Laura, wait! 696 00:46:08,094 --> 00:46:10,085 I need my things. I'm leaving. 697 00:46:10,345 --> 00:46:12,628 Why? Because of that spectacle? 698 00:46:12,847 --> 00:46:15,130 You know what I feel like doing? 699 00:46:15,349 --> 00:46:16,423 Anything. 700 00:46:17,434 --> 00:46:19,716 Tell Nino he deserves credit... 701 00:46:19,935 --> 00:46:22,718 for putting up with a dickhead like you. 702 00:46:32,110 --> 00:46:35,060 All right. I went too far. I'm sorry. 703 00:46:35,362 --> 00:46:37,228 Don't hold it against me. 704 00:46:37,447 --> 00:46:38,812 Did I say anything? 705 00:46:40,115 --> 00:46:42,398 I got carried away. It went too well. 706 00:46:42,617 --> 00:46:45,286 You have to admit you made it easy. 707 00:46:45,536 --> 00:46:48,611 I fucked up with Laura. It's not your fault. 708 00:46:49,497 --> 00:46:52,489 I thought she'd get flustered, not leave you forever. 709 00:46:52,873 --> 00:46:54,572 And I didn't think you'd mind so much. 710 00:46:55,500 --> 00:46:57,950 Mind? Me? She's not worth it. 711 00:46:58,210 --> 00:47:00,577 You've been teary-eyed all week. 712 00:47:01,171 --> 00:47:03,037 You really think I care? 713 00:47:03,256 --> 00:47:06,873 I just act like it to satisfy you. 714 00:47:07,217 --> 00:47:10,459 Really? Then the truth is, I don't regret it at all. 715 00:47:10,677 --> 00:47:13,211 I just didn't want to rub it in. 716 00:47:14,305 --> 00:47:18,673 In fact, I can barely keep from laughing every time I see you. 717 00:47:18,892 --> 00:47:20,424 I thought so. 718 00:47:23,562 --> 00:47:24,343 Come on. 719 00:47:24,646 --> 00:47:27,470 Do I have to beg? Do you forgive me or not? 720 00:47:27,772 --> 00:47:29,721 Of course I do, you retard. 721 00:47:31,191 --> 00:47:32,932 Thanks. I was worried. 722 00:47:33,276 --> 00:47:35,183 -You screwed me pretty good! -Friends. 723 00:47:35,402 --> 00:47:38,269 I'm not going to freak out over a girl. 724 00:47:38,780 --> 00:47:41,104 Is it so obvious I'm a bastard? 725 00:47:41,698 --> 00:47:43,648 No... well, actually... 726 00:47:43,867 --> 00:47:46,431 I mean, you knew I'd betray her? 727 00:47:47,160 --> 00:47:49,777 Not really, though you did. 728 00:47:49,996 --> 00:47:52,279 I had my doubts. 729 00:47:52,498 --> 00:47:53,769 Let's forget it. 730 00:47:54,999 --> 00:47:58,365 Don't feel bad. I'd have done the same thing. 731 00:47:58,584 --> 00:47:59,991 I'm a coward like you. 732 00:48:00,210 --> 00:48:01,868 That's enough. 733 00:48:02,253 --> 00:48:04,786 I may have lasted a little longer, but... 734 00:48:05,005 --> 00:48:05,829 Will you shut the fuck up? 735 00:48:09,550 --> 00:48:12,219 34 million people. 736 00:48:12,677 --> 00:48:13,459 What? 737 00:48:13,720 --> 00:48:16,201 Tomorrow 34 million people 738 00:48:16,430 --> 00:48:20,464 will laugh their fucking heads off with Nino and Bruno! 739 00:48:20,683 --> 00:48:21,507 Right? 740 00:48:21,767 --> 00:48:23,216 -Yes! Yes! -Louder, damn it! 741 00:48:23,518 --> 00:48:25,801 Yes, yes, yes! 742 00:48:26,187 --> 00:48:27,427 Yes! 743 00:48:38,862 --> 00:48:41,426 Live, from Prado del Rey studios... 744 00:48:41,655 --> 00:48:45,397 Two hours of music, interviews, and comedy. 745 00:48:45,616 --> 00:48:48,691 And speaking of comedy, our guests tonight 746 00:48:48,910 --> 00:48:51,944 know very well how to make you laugh, 747 00:48:52,163 --> 00:48:54,237 even if it hurts. 748 00:48:54,456 --> 00:48:55,821 Good evening, Nino and Bruno. 749 00:49:03,878 --> 00:49:05,869 Good evening. We're pleased to be here. 750 00:49:06,463 --> 00:49:07,537 And how did you two 751 00:49:07,756 --> 00:49:09,622 slap your way to success? 752 00:49:09,841 --> 00:49:12,290 Well, it's important to have 753 00:49:12,509 --> 00:49:13,500 a sense of humour. 754 00:49:14,552 --> 00:49:15,459 And you, Nino? 755 00:49:15,678 --> 00:49:18,003 How do you handle all the abuse? 756 00:49:25,060 --> 00:49:26,509 Don't bother. It's useless. 757 00:49:26,769 --> 00:49:28,343 The lights and cameras 758 00:49:28,604 --> 00:49:30,678 paralyse him. It's all right. 759 00:49:30,939 --> 00:49:31,804 Is he shy? 760 00:49:32,023 --> 00:49:34,420 No, he's stupid. But we're like brothers. 761 00:49:35,441 --> 00:49:38,183 And what if I tried to slap him? 762 00:49:39,110 --> 00:49:40,215 No problem. 763 00:49:40,486 --> 00:49:42,227 Go ahead. He won't feel it. 764 00:49:42,446 --> 00:49:43,186 Are you sure? 765 00:49:43,405 --> 00:49:44,593 He's like a doll. 766 00:49:44,823 --> 00:49:47,439 Like rubber. The secret is relaxation. 767 00:49:47,908 --> 00:49:50,149 It's an oriental technique, 768 00:49:50,368 --> 00:49:52,818 discovered in Nepal. By not thinking, 769 00:49:53,079 --> 00:49:54,486 and Nino never thinks, 770 00:49:54,746 --> 00:49:58,280 you create an energy field that repels the slap. 771 00:49:58,582 --> 00:49:59,531 I see. 772 00:49:59,750 --> 00:50:03,367 In slow motion we'd see that the hand actually 773 00:50:03,586 --> 00:50:05,367 never touches the face. 774 00:50:07,671 --> 00:50:09,954 The human eye can't distinguish. 775 00:50:10,173 --> 00:50:13,915 The slap is really just a visual effect. 776 00:50:14,134 --> 00:50:16,417 You mean l, or anyone, could try it 777 00:50:16,719 --> 00:50:18,668 without special training? 778 00:50:18,887 --> 00:50:21,087 Yes, of course. In fact, let's 779 00:50:21,347 --> 00:50:22,921 invite the audience 780 00:50:23,140 --> 00:50:24,631 to give it a shot. 781 00:50:24,933 --> 00:50:26,841 What do you think, Nino? 782 00:50:28,603 --> 00:50:29,676 He'd love to. 783 00:50:29,937 --> 00:50:32,803 All right. If someone in the audience 784 00:50:33,022 --> 00:50:35,389 would like to slap Nino... 785 00:50:36,399 --> 00:50:37,587 I see hands... 786 00:50:38,233 --> 00:50:39,338 Here we go. 787 00:50:42,736 --> 00:50:45,353 Are you their manager? 788 00:50:45,572 --> 00:50:46,593 You have a call. 789 00:50:46,906 --> 00:50:48,011 Follow me. 790 00:50:49,866 --> 00:50:51,055 Go ahead, slugger. 791 00:50:53,327 --> 00:50:55,725 That's it. Good one. 792 00:50:56,246 --> 00:50:58,445 Don't hold back, Ma'am. 793 00:50:59,081 --> 00:51:00,270 No mercy. 794 00:51:02,500 --> 00:51:04,241 -Yes? -50,000 a night. 795 00:51:04,502 --> 00:51:07,285 -What? -50,000 a night! 796 00:51:07,504 --> 00:51:10,244 Yeah, well... we have many offers. 797 00:51:10,463 --> 00:51:11,568 We'll double it. 798 00:51:11,798 --> 00:51:12,496 Another call. 799 00:51:13,007 --> 00:51:14,080 One second. 800 00:51:14,299 --> 00:51:16,415 Fucking great, right? 801 00:51:16,676 --> 00:51:19,668 Hello! With pleasure. 100,000 a week? 802 00:51:19,887 --> 00:51:21,461 I mean starting. 803 00:51:21,680 --> 00:51:25,088 We should talk later. I'm in a meeting. 804 00:51:25,432 --> 00:51:27,298 Hold on. I'll call you. 805 00:51:28,393 --> 00:51:30,717 Calm down! Calm down! 806 00:51:31,770 --> 00:51:32,792 Easy, boys. 807 00:51:33,104 --> 00:51:34,261 Are you crazy? 808 00:51:34,480 --> 00:51:36,513 You vindictive rat! 809 00:51:37,065 --> 00:51:38,014 You were born for this. 810 00:51:38,233 --> 00:51:40,765 Even the cameramen slapped me! 811 00:51:42,068 --> 00:51:43,517 So? It not my fault. 812 00:51:43,777 --> 00:51:45,602 It's not your fault? 813 00:51:46,279 --> 00:51:48,270 -Get him off of me! -What's wrong with you? 814 00:51:49,740 --> 00:51:51,272 We should be celebrating. 815 00:51:51,533 --> 00:51:53,315 We'll even be on the news. 816 00:51:53,576 --> 00:51:55,067 Yeah, the lead story. 817 00:51:55,828 --> 00:51:56,735 Get him off me! 818 00:51:57,037 --> 00:51:58,819 Get this thing off me! 819 00:52:00,206 --> 00:52:01,571 We're on the air! 820 00:52:04,083 --> 00:52:08,326 Go ahead. Kill each other. Forget the good news. 821 00:52:10,046 --> 00:52:13,787 The best TV show of all time just called. 822 00:52:15,549 --> 00:52:16,654 " 1,2,3" called? 823 00:52:17,467 --> 00:52:19,166 Chicho in person. 824 00:52:20,260 --> 00:52:21,751 He wants to see you 825 00:52:22,012 --> 00:52:23,200 tomorrow morning. 826 00:52:25,598 --> 00:52:26,504 And then... 827 00:52:26,765 --> 00:52:28,297 the bomb went off. 828 00:52:29,851 --> 00:52:33,593 We reached the top, the highest point. 829 00:52:37,147 --> 00:52:39,972 We made TV history. Champagne commercials, 830 00:52:40,650 --> 00:52:43,850 New Year's Eve specials, all-star shows... 831 00:52:44,110 --> 00:52:47,393 You name it. They had it all. 832 00:52:47,779 --> 00:52:51,313 Fame, money, even their own brand of cupcakes. 833 00:52:56,493 --> 00:52:59,527 They were the perfect couple. 834 00:52:59,787 --> 00:53:02,487 Always friends, always smiling. 835 00:53:02,956 --> 00:53:05,072 Nobody was happier. 836 00:53:05,458 --> 00:53:08,158 So clean. So innocent. 837 00:53:09,648 --> 00:53:12,098 Nobody would ever suspect 838 00:53:12,317 --> 00:53:15,309 that those cupcakes had a sour filling. 839 00:53:16,152 --> 00:53:18,685 People say I'm exaggerating, 840 00:53:19,363 --> 00:53:22,563 but I assure you it all really happened. 841 00:53:25,825 --> 00:53:29,026 They even bought identical houses, 842 00:53:29,286 --> 00:53:32,820 connected by a single wall... to be closer, 843 00:53:33,664 --> 00:53:35,906 to spy on each other day and night. 844 00:53:53,886 --> 00:53:55,752 Bruno? Are you there? 845 00:54:34,997 --> 00:54:37,280 Julian, come in. It just started. 846 00:54:37,582 --> 00:54:40,741 Come in! Close the door! Quietly! 847 00:54:45,421 --> 00:54:48,038 How long have you been here? 848 00:54:48,298 --> 00:54:49,247 Three days. 849 00:54:49,466 --> 00:54:50,456 My God. Why? 850 00:54:50,842 --> 00:54:51,665 Look. 851 00:54:52,717 --> 00:54:56,292 You hear that? Three days without stopping. 852 00:54:56,511 --> 00:54:57,585 Just to fuck with me. 853 00:54:57,804 --> 00:54:59,795 Ask him to turn it off. 854 00:55:00,014 --> 00:55:01,286 Are you crazy? 855 00:55:01,515 --> 00:55:04,840 And see all his little friends having fun? 856 00:55:05,059 --> 00:55:08,634 No way. He wants to show me he's more popular. 857 00:55:08,895 --> 00:55:10,803 No, that's not true. 858 00:55:11,522 --> 00:55:13,138 People love you, too. 859 00:55:13,482 --> 00:55:16,015 You're the perfect couple. 860 00:55:16,317 --> 00:55:17,933 Don't lie to me, Julian. 861 00:55:18,235 --> 00:55:20,799 I'm not. Laurel and Hardy, for example. 862 00:55:21,195 --> 00:55:23,727 You think people like Hardy more? 863 00:55:23,988 --> 00:55:25,062 Of course not. 864 00:55:25,447 --> 00:55:29,221 Abbot and Costello, Tom and Jerry, Nino and... 865 00:55:29,450 --> 00:55:31,848 ...and the asshole who slaps him around. 866 00:55:32,494 --> 00:55:33,943 Look at this. 867 00:55:34,621 --> 00:55:36,486 A fan letter. 868 00:55:36,872 --> 00:55:39,739 He gets tons and I don't get shit. Read it. 869 00:55:46,045 --> 00:55:48,370 " You make me laugh and give life meaning." 870 00:55:48,630 --> 00:55:51,747 "Take me and free my indecency." She's crazy! 871 00:55:51,966 --> 00:55:55,291 Crazy about him. But nothing about me at all. 872 00:55:55,676 --> 00:55:58,709 I have one from a twin who wants to have his kid. 873 00:55:59,387 --> 00:56:01,336 Where did you get all this? 874 00:56:02,264 --> 00:56:04,047 -The trash. -Your trash? 875 00:56:04,265 --> 00:56:08,591 Fuck no, his. He throws them away without even opening them. 876 00:56:08,852 --> 00:56:09,957 You dig in his trash? 877 00:56:10,186 --> 00:56:13,470 Sure. You can find out a lot about someone. 878 00:56:13,897 --> 00:56:16,680 Trash defines you, it's who you are. 879 00:56:17,191 --> 00:56:22,059 Now look. It's time for you to drop the trash thing. 880 00:56:23,237 --> 00:56:25,311 You have to get out of here. 881 00:56:25,530 --> 00:56:28,271 Get some air. You weren't like this before. 882 00:56:29,491 --> 00:56:31,971 You were happy. An extrovert. 883 00:56:32,242 --> 00:56:34,150 You liked women, and going out. 884 00:56:34,411 --> 00:56:36,975 Yeah, I should have got married. 885 00:56:38,539 --> 00:56:39,529 He'd hate that. 886 00:56:40,081 --> 00:56:41,030 And children. 887 00:56:41,457 --> 00:56:44,866 Little Brunos running around his garden. 888 00:56:45,085 --> 00:56:46,450 He'd go fucking nuts. 889 00:56:48,337 --> 00:56:49,077 Don't answer! 890 00:56:49,838 --> 00:56:50,578 Why not? 891 00:56:51,381 --> 00:56:52,204 It's him. 892 00:56:56,426 --> 00:56:57,333 They hung up. 893 00:56:57,594 --> 00:57:00,834 It's him. He calls to see if I'm home. 894 00:57:01,387 --> 00:57:04,379 Now he knows I hear his music and his fucking. 895 00:57:04,931 --> 00:57:06,672 You're really sick. 896 00:57:07,933 --> 00:57:09,757 I have to watch him closely. 897 00:57:10,227 --> 00:57:12,624 I know he's planning something. 898 00:57:13,479 --> 00:57:16,971 -I'm going to talk to him. -Good idea. 899 00:57:17,190 --> 00:57:20,880 See what he's up to before the new show starts. 900 00:57:21,151 --> 00:57:23,350 -He trusts you. -Fine. 901 00:57:24,528 --> 00:57:25,352 What's wrong? 902 00:57:25,571 --> 00:57:28,135 The question is, can I trust you? 903 00:57:28,614 --> 00:57:29,980 What are you saying? 904 00:57:30,241 --> 00:57:32,272 Maybe he told you to spy on me. 905 00:57:32,491 --> 00:57:36,348 I came because I'm worried about both of you. 906 00:57:36,577 --> 00:57:39,778 -Stay out of that closet. -I promise. 907 00:57:39,996 --> 00:57:43,655 -I'll turn down the music. -Don't tell him it bothers me. 908 00:57:43,916 --> 00:57:46,115 Relax. I won't let on at all. 909 00:58:10,809 --> 00:58:11,549 Hi, Mrs. Julia. 910 00:58:12,560 --> 00:58:14,301 How's the new house? 911 00:58:14,770 --> 00:58:16,136 You miss the village? 912 00:58:31,782 --> 00:58:32,522 Excuse me. 913 00:58:32,741 --> 00:58:33,898 Have you seen Nino? 914 00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:36,868 I don't know. He's up in his room. 915 00:58:45,165 --> 00:58:46,187 Nino! 916 00:58:53,213 --> 00:58:53,953 Nino? 917 00:59:12,142 --> 00:59:12,924 Nino! 918 00:59:26,694 --> 00:59:28,143 It's you. 919 00:59:32,614 --> 00:59:34,355 Nino, you have to stop. 920 00:59:35,241 --> 00:59:36,263 Stop what? 921 00:59:36,492 --> 00:59:38,650 Don't make this difficult. 922 00:59:38,994 --> 00:59:40,442 He'll go crazy. 923 00:59:41,245 --> 00:59:42,944 Crazy? Who? 924 00:59:44,539 --> 00:59:45,237 Bruno. 925 00:59:45,581 --> 00:59:48,531 Oh, the neighbour. Haven't seen him. 926 00:59:48,917 --> 00:59:50,157 He must be out of town. 927 00:59:50,376 --> 00:59:52,367 You know exactly where he is. 928 00:59:53,295 --> 00:59:57,152 Watch that slimy paternal tone with me, eh? 929 00:59:57,423 --> 00:59:58,746 You live off my 10 per cent. 930 00:59:59,341 --> 01:00:01,822 -Yours and Bruno's! -We'll see about that. 931 01:00:03,177 --> 01:00:06,950 What have I done? I'm in my own home. Can't l 932 01:00:07,179 --> 01:00:08,628 have fun in my own home? 933 01:00:11,016 --> 01:00:13,495 Excuse me, can we go home? 934 01:00:13,725 --> 01:00:15,924 Carmen's been dancing 5 hours and collapsed. 935 01:00:17,269 --> 01:00:21,209 No way! Keep dancing! When your shift's over! 936 01:00:21,522 --> 01:00:22,794 All right. Sorry. 937 01:00:23,148 --> 01:00:26,223 And tell Lola to go jump in the damn pool. 938 01:00:26,484 --> 01:00:27,589 It's freezing, Nino. 939 01:00:28,694 --> 01:00:31,935 Why the fuck am I paying you? Get naked in the pool! 940 01:00:33,197 --> 01:00:34,354 And more laughing! 941 01:00:34,573 --> 01:00:37,856 This sounds like a fucking funeral! 942 01:00:41,661 --> 01:00:43,026 What were we talking about? 943 01:00:43,245 --> 01:00:44,068 Having fun. 944 01:00:44,329 --> 01:00:47,612 Right. This may look strange, but it's necessary. 945 01:00:48,248 --> 01:00:49,405 I must defend myself. 946 01:00:50,333 --> 01:00:53,658 Still upset about the slaps? It's been 10 years. 947 01:00:54,044 --> 01:00:57,817 That's in the past. This is worse. It's demonic. 948 01:00:59,464 --> 01:01:03,373 Bruno's trying to ruin me psychologically. 949 01:01:03,926 --> 01:01:05,166 What do you mean? 950 01:01:05,385 --> 01:01:08,794 Forget it. I don't know why I'm telling you. 951 01:01:09,847 --> 01:01:11,337 You wouldn't understand. 952 01:01:14,183 --> 01:01:16,548 Nino and Bruno cupcakes. 953 01:01:19,978 --> 01:01:20,843 You want half? 954 01:01:22,146 --> 01:01:23,418 I only eat half. 955 01:01:24,356 --> 01:01:25,596 The rest makes me sick. 956 01:01:28,442 --> 01:01:30,016 Are you going to tell me? 957 01:01:30,402 --> 01:01:32,685 It's his damn indifference. 958 01:01:33,029 --> 01:01:35,228 You're right. I don't understand. 959 01:01:35,697 --> 01:01:37,605 It's very subtle. 960 01:01:38,116 --> 01:01:40,315 He won't look at me when he slaps me. 961 01:01:40,576 --> 01:01:42,400 I'm like an object. 962 01:01:43,619 --> 01:01:45,944 Nino, that's not true. 963 01:01:47,163 --> 01:01:48,184 You're wrong. 964 01:01:48,413 --> 01:01:50,780 Bruno thinks only of himself. 965 01:01:51,165 --> 01:01:54,657 I brought my mother here to be with me. And him? 966 01:01:55,210 --> 01:01:56,534 He's an orphan. 967 01:01:57,086 --> 01:02:00,328 That's no excuse. At least I'm trying. 968 01:02:00,589 --> 01:02:01,996 I invite him to my parties. 969 01:02:02,215 --> 01:02:04,831 And all I get from him is rejection. 970 01:02:40,949 --> 01:02:45,109 Nino, listen to me. This isn't a party. This is absurd. 971 01:02:45,328 --> 01:02:47,277 It only looks like a party. 972 01:02:47,496 --> 01:02:49,237 He doesn't know that. 973 01:02:49,581 --> 01:02:53,520 If he only came. Or called. I call him everyday. 974 01:02:53,833 --> 01:02:55,823 You hang up without speaking. 975 01:02:56,042 --> 01:02:59,076 He could at least answer me. 976 01:02:59,295 --> 01:03:00,566 He should apologise. 977 01:03:10,636 --> 01:03:14,837 My head hurts. I'm going to turn off the music. 978 01:03:15,097 --> 01:03:18,840 No way! You think I like this crap? Fuck him. 979 01:03:20,393 --> 01:03:21,133 Hey. 980 01:03:21,519 --> 01:03:25,510 You're defending him. I note a bit of favouritism. 981 01:03:25,812 --> 01:03:27,928 -Are you crazy? -No, no, no. 982 01:03:28,147 --> 01:03:30,514 You've come to spy on me. 983 01:03:30,774 --> 01:03:32,098 You're with him. 984 01:03:33,067 --> 01:03:35,892 Get out of my house, Juli�n! 985 01:03:58,876 --> 01:04:00,200 Smack it! 986 01:04:02,212 --> 01:04:04,036 No, no. Look. 987 01:04:04,630 --> 01:04:07,664 It's not your girlfriend. 988 01:04:07,883 --> 01:04:10,624 It has to be funny. With humour. 989 01:04:14,304 --> 01:04:15,211 Now. 990 01:04:16,764 --> 01:04:18,797 You can go. Go home. 991 01:04:21,309 --> 01:04:24,217 You've never done this before. 992 01:04:24,728 --> 01:04:26,000 It has to be funny. 993 01:04:29,480 --> 01:04:31,596 You can go, Pepe. Thanks. 994 01:04:35,109 --> 01:04:37,673 I'd better go. Relax. I won't say anything. 995 01:04:37,903 --> 01:04:40,936 You guys have to work this out yourselves. 996 01:04:41,155 --> 01:04:44,147 Easy, Julian. You'll have a heart attack. 997 01:04:45,742 --> 01:04:49,317 We're loaded. Thanks to me. 998 01:04:51,537 --> 01:04:53,904 Juli�n... Juli�n... Juli�n. 999 01:04:54,331 --> 01:04:57,000 Please, Juli�n. Come on. 1000 01:04:57,500 --> 01:05:00,324 When Bruno gets over his jealousy 1001 01:05:00,543 --> 01:05:03,024 everything will be like before. 1002 01:05:03,253 --> 01:05:05,786 -Don't touch me. -Come back soon. 1003 01:05:06,881 --> 01:05:08,955 And thanks for the gifts! 1004 01:05:09,466 --> 01:05:13,125 -I didn't give you anything. -That's all right. 1005 01:06:00,334 --> 01:06:02,532 My letters! 1006 01:06:36,524 --> 01:06:38,015 Die, you fucking pig! 1007 01:07:29,519 --> 01:07:30,384 Mommy! 1008 01:07:47,864 --> 01:07:49,021 Mother! 1009 01:08:07,044 --> 01:08:09,369 I can't believe it, Nino. 1010 01:08:11,004 --> 01:08:13,787 -I'm so sorry. -Thanks, Chicho. 1011 01:08:14,757 --> 01:08:16,122 -Nino. -Beatriz. 1012 01:08:16,425 --> 01:08:17,582 Anything you need. 1013 01:08:18,176 --> 01:08:19,125 Thanks. 1014 01:08:19,760 --> 01:08:20,626 I'm very sorry. 1015 01:08:20,844 --> 01:08:24,837 -I'm here for you. -Thanks, Moncho. 1016 01:08:25,890 --> 01:08:27,922 That's life, son. I'm sorry. 1017 01:08:28,350 --> 01:08:31,758 You don't know how sorry I am. I understand. 1018 01:08:32,686 --> 01:08:35,052 I know. Thanks, Josema. 1019 01:08:36,189 --> 01:08:38,096 -Thanks, Victor. -I'm sorry, Nino. 1020 01:08:38,565 --> 01:08:39,722 Nino. 1021 01:08:41,651 --> 01:08:43,266 A mother's a mother. 1022 01:08:44,152 --> 01:08:46,101 Don't cry, Bigote. Thanks. 1023 01:08:49,864 --> 01:08:51,271 It doesn't make sense. 1024 01:08:51,949 --> 01:08:53,439 Neither do you, Codesito. 1025 01:08:55,326 --> 01:08:56,858 Thank you. 1026 01:08:59,371 --> 01:09:01,070 Thanks, Don Lurio. 1027 01:09:04,082 --> 01:09:06,240 Poor thing. I couldn't even hear 1028 01:09:06,459 --> 01:09:08,241 her last words. 1029 01:09:08,502 --> 01:09:09,951 She never spoke to you. 1030 01:09:10,503 --> 01:09:13,453 We'd broken the ice. The other day she said... 1031 01:09:13,672 --> 01:09:15,829 "Go wash up." 1032 01:09:16,090 --> 01:09:17,997 That's a step forward. 1033 01:09:18,591 --> 01:09:19,696 I cried. 1034 01:09:19,967 --> 01:09:22,532 I talked to the TV people. 1035 01:09:22,803 --> 01:09:26,170 I'm returning the money they advanced us for the show. 1036 01:09:26,764 --> 01:09:28,671 Sorry, I wasn't listening. 1037 01:09:28,890 --> 01:09:31,340 I was saying the TV people want 1038 01:09:31,559 --> 01:09:33,800 to cancel the new contract. 1039 01:09:34,019 --> 01:09:35,124 What? Are you crazy? 1040 01:09:35,478 --> 01:09:36,427 Why? 1041 01:09:36,646 --> 01:09:38,053 Things aren't exactly... 1042 01:09:38,355 --> 01:09:40,920 Things are fine. We record on the 23rd. 1043 01:09:41,733 --> 01:09:44,516 But Nino, you just testified to the Grand Jury 1044 01:09:44,735 --> 01:09:47,976 that Bruno killed your mother. 1045 01:09:48,195 --> 01:09:50,676 I'm a professional. He can kill my mother, 1046 01:09:50,905 --> 01:09:52,437 but he can't make me quit! 1047 01:09:52,656 --> 01:09:54,022 What if he quits? 1048 01:09:54,282 --> 01:09:58,024 Then we nail his ass for breach of contract. 1049 01:09:58,368 --> 01:10:00,276 I can't prove he killed my mother. 1050 01:10:00,745 --> 01:10:02,861 But I can still force him to come 1051 01:10:03,122 --> 01:10:05,988 and slap me around whenever I want. 1052 01:10:24,052 --> 01:10:27,669 Fuck no! I need a rehearsal to position the cameras. 1053 01:10:28,055 --> 01:10:29,838 What's your problem? 1054 01:10:30,056 --> 01:10:32,423 Do you ask the players to rehearse before 1055 01:10:32,683 --> 01:10:34,257 a soccer game? 1056 01:10:34,476 --> 01:10:37,885 Cut the shit. Put your cameras wherever you want. 1057 01:10:39,021 --> 01:10:39,970 They're here! 1058 01:10:44,650 --> 01:10:47,600 Mr. Bruno's on the set! Lights! 1059 01:10:47,861 --> 01:10:49,851 Hi, Paquito. How's your wife? 1060 01:10:50,070 --> 01:10:53,895 -Cheating on me, as usual. -Give her a kiss for me. 1061 01:10:54,448 --> 01:10:55,980 Where's Nino? 1062 01:10:56,908 --> 01:10:58,982 When Nino's ready we'll begin. 1063 01:10:59,326 --> 01:11:01,234 Mr. Nino's on the set! 1064 01:11:14,754 --> 01:11:17,453 Hi, Nino. We're not rehearsing today, 1065 01:11:17,672 --> 01:11:19,830 so everyone get ready to roll. 1066 01:11:20,883 --> 01:11:23,123 I just wanted to say... 1067 01:11:23,384 --> 01:11:25,667 I'm sorry about your mom. It was an accident. 1068 01:11:25,885 --> 01:11:27,251 Control! You hear me? 1069 01:11:27,512 --> 01:11:28,617 We hear you, Nino. 1070 01:11:28,888 --> 01:11:32,421 Could someone tell this individual not to address me? 1071 01:11:32,640 --> 01:11:34,965 He can only use the script. 1072 01:11:35,225 --> 01:11:37,008 It's in the fucking contract! 1073 01:11:37,227 --> 01:11:39,968 I know, I'm sorry. 1074 01:11:40,521 --> 01:11:41,928 It won't happen again. 1075 01:11:42,439 --> 01:11:45,003 All right, let's go. Five and action. 1076 01:12:04,787 --> 01:12:05,610 Who's that? 1077 01:12:08,790 --> 01:12:09,978 Put it on this screen. 1078 01:12:12,209 --> 01:12:13,950 Everybody freeze! 1079 01:12:14,377 --> 01:12:15,159 What was that? 1080 01:12:15,378 --> 01:12:17,452 " Hi everybody", I think. 1081 01:12:21,257 --> 01:12:22,164 Action. 1082 01:12:23,717 --> 01:12:25,665 Nice, seal. Good seal. 1083 01:12:26,676 --> 01:12:28,125 Come in! 1084 01:12:28,844 --> 01:12:30,168 Sit down. 1085 01:12:31,596 --> 01:12:34,046 You're here for the rabbit job. 1086 01:12:34,390 --> 01:12:37,715 What are your references? I know... 1087 01:12:37,934 --> 01:12:40,415 You're a little rich family bunny, right? 1088 01:12:40,686 --> 01:12:43,428 A cute pet that plays with the kids. 1089 01:12:43,813 --> 01:12:45,721 This is a tough job, you know? 1090 01:12:46,357 --> 01:12:48,838 We're dealing with hats here. 1091 01:12:49,734 --> 01:12:50,558 Well? 1092 01:12:50,818 --> 01:12:53,487 -I'll fucking kill you. -Shit! 1093 01:12:53,945 --> 01:12:57,687 The bunny speaks! It's the talking bunny! 1094 01:12:58,281 --> 01:13:00,272 -What a surprise! -You piece of shit! 1095 01:13:01,658 --> 01:13:03,024 What are you doing? 1096 01:13:03,368 --> 01:13:04,775 This isn't right. 1097 01:13:05,286 --> 01:13:06,234 Paquito! 1098 01:13:07,245 --> 01:13:09,362 From now on things will change. 1099 01:13:09,580 --> 01:13:10,154 Paquito! 1100 01:13:14,834 --> 01:13:17,034 Remember Visir? 1101 01:13:19,379 --> 01:13:21,120 You don't like animals, do you? 1102 01:13:21,547 --> 01:13:24,216 This isn't in the script. What now? 1103 01:13:35,431 --> 01:13:37,881 Everyone on the floor! 1104 01:13:43,353 --> 01:13:44,802 What is this? A movie? 1105 01:13:45,104 --> 01:13:47,929 No, it's the Congress. It's live! 1106 01:13:48,190 --> 01:13:49,556 Just what we needed! 1107 01:13:53,819 --> 01:13:57,509 If it weren't impossible, I'd say this is a coup d'�tat. 1108 01:14:08,328 --> 01:14:09,861 Look what you did to the fish! 1109 01:14:10,246 --> 01:14:11,820 You don't like animals? 1110 01:14:16,918 --> 01:14:19,315 Get me the news channel. 1111 01:14:20,587 --> 01:14:24,527 Mari Carmen, is this Congress thing for real? 1112 01:14:29,468 --> 01:14:31,417 But this doesn't make sense. 1113 01:14:31,636 --> 01:14:34,919 This is against history. We can't go backwards. 1114 01:14:35,138 --> 01:14:37,879 Sorry, sir. I don't understand politics. 1115 01:14:38,265 --> 01:14:40,006 They caught us by surprise. 1116 01:14:40,225 --> 01:14:43,341 We were just doing military service, and suddenly... 1117 01:14:43,560 --> 01:14:47,417 Shut up, Guti�rrez. It's nobody's business. 1118 01:14:47,897 --> 01:14:51,055 We stop all recordings and wait for orders. 1119 01:14:51,274 --> 01:14:54,391 That's our mission. Where's the plug? 1120 01:14:55,485 --> 01:14:57,685 It was an accident! 1121 01:14:57,904 --> 01:14:59,686 -Follow them! -Go, go, go. 1122 01:14:59,947 --> 01:15:03,522 And what if they called and said kill everyone? 1123 01:15:03,741 --> 01:15:05,189 Don't give them any ideas. 1124 01:15:05,408 --> 01:15:09,182 Shut up, sir. Nobody said anything about killing. 1125 01:15:09,411 --> 01:15:13,268 You gentlemen relax and there won't be any trouble. 1126 01:15:14,790 --> 01:15:15,978 Hey, look! 1127 01:15:18,334 --> 01:15:19,699 It's Nino and Bruno! 1128 01:15:20,252 --> 01:15:21,659 We'll stop them. 1129 01:15:21,878 --> 01:15:24,077 No, let them continue. I love them. 1130 01:15:24,338 --> 01:15:27,038 But Nino's the one whipping the other. 1131 01:15:27,257 --> 01:15:30,332 -Do we keep recording? -One and three are cut. 1132 01:15:31,301 --> 01:15:32,250 Hilarious! Leave it. 1133 01:15:32,636 --> 01:15:36,086 It's about time he kicked that guy's ass. 1134 01:15:38,555 --> 01:15:41,120 Pardon me, have you got any beer? 1135 01:15:41,641 --> 01:15:43,632 There's a vending machine in the hall. 1136 01:15:43,892 --> 01:15:47,176 All right, give us your money. 1137 01:15:47,437 --> 01:15:48,427 Loose change. 1138 01:15:49,063 --> 01:15:50,053 Come on. 1139 01:15:54,483 --> 01:15:58,642 I've been driving around in that tank all day long. 1140 01:15:59,862 --> 01:16:01,603 My God. 1141 01:16:04,157 --> 01:16:08,097 Life's like a lottery. Sometimes you win... 1142 01:16:08,410 --> 01:16:09,597 and sometimes you lose. 1143 01:16:09,951 --> 01:16:13,152 The coup d'�tat went nowhere, while 1144 01:16:13,454 --> 01:16:15,487 Nino and Bruno's new act became a hit. 1145 01:16:16,206 --> 01:16:19,698 Somehow we even won international awards. 1146 01:16:20,584 --> 01:16:22,366 It was time to quit. 1147 01:16:22,961 --> 01:16:26,818 For ten years, their shows were seen on TV programs 1148 01:16:27,422 --> 01:16:29,121 all over the world. 1149 01:16:29,340 --> 01:16:31,581 The Spanish team and their leader, 1150 01:16:31,842 --> 01:16:34,625 his Highness the Prince of Spain. 1151 01:16:34,844 --> 01:16:37,877 Next to him is Nino, who we all miss. 1152 01:16:38,096 --> 01:16:41,170 -What's his event, Matias? -Almost all of them. 1153 01:16:41,389 --> 01:16:43,422 The emotion is overwhelming. 1154 01:16:43,724 --> 01:16:45,090 The torch arrives, 1155 01:16:45,350 --> 01:16:46,924 held by this man, 1156 01:16:47,227 --> 01:16:49,009 Eric, who will pass it on. 1157 01:16:49,895 --> 01:16:52,512 There he is, Nino. A bastion, 1158 01:16:52,731 --> 01:16:56,056 the representative of our country's humanity 1159 01:16:56,275 --> 01:16:57,974 beyond our borders. 1160 01:16:58,193 --> 01:17:00,726 -Silence in the stadium. -Can he do it? 1161 01:17:00,945 --> 01:17:02,310 There's the arrow. 1162 01:17:04,697 --> 01:17:09,399 He did it! Nino has inaugurated the 1992 Olympic Games. 1163 01:17:22,501 --> 01:17:24,898 He's here! Here he comes. 1164 01:17:25,127 --> 01:17:28,984 They didn't see each other for ten years. 1165 01:17:30,465 --> 01:17:33,498 It seemed all the hate had finally faded. 1166 01:17:33,759 --> 01:17:35,791 But, as usual, I was wrong. 1167 01:17:41,472 --> 01:17:42,713 Hey, Nino! Over here! 1168 01:17:56,273 --> 01:17:58,181 I ordered oysters and some ham 1169 01:17:58,400 --> 01:17:59,557 for a snack. 1170 01:18:00,610 --> 01:18:01,631 And the extra plate? 1171 01:18:02,653 --> 01:18:04,602 Oh... I'm expecting 1172 01:18:04,863 --> 01:18:06,770 someone. Please. Sit down. 1173 01:18:07,198 --> 01:18:09,314 It's more money than you can imagine. 1174 01:18:09,533 --> 01:18:11,232 I can imagine a lot. 1175 01:18:11,451 --> 01:18:12,274 Let me explain. 1176 01:18:14,161 --> 01:18:15,068 It's him, right? 1177 01:18:16,037 --> 01:18:18,403 Yes. But don't worry. 1178 01:18:18,663 --> 01:18:21,280 He knows nothing. I had to explain 1179 01:18:21,498 --> 01:18:23,573 -to get him to come. -What's this about? 1180 01:18:36,467 --> 01:18:38,865 What's this? A telephone number? 1181 01:18:39,136 --> 01:18:40,585 It's your fee if you come back. 1182 01:18:40,845 --> 01:18:42,670 -Annually? -Per show. 1183 01:18:42,972 --> 01:18:43,795 For both of us. 1184 01:18:44,014 --> 01:18:46,798 Each. And I've already taken my cut. 1185 01:18:48,933 --> 01:18:51,414 Just like Bruno. Late as usual. 1186 01:18:51,727 --> 01:18:52,717 Julian! 1187 01:18:55,688 --> 01:18:56,637 There he is. 1188 01:18:58,857 --> 01:19:00,640 He looks like shit. 1189 01:19:01,317 --> 01:19:03,600 He had problems with the leg. 1190 01:19:04,111 --> 01:19:05,018 What leg? 1191 01:19:05,237 --> 01:19:06,602 You sliced his ankle, remember? 1192 01:19:06,904 --> 01:19:08,854 -Me? -You put it in the magic box 1193 01:19:09,114 --> 01:19:11,564 and, well... but that's all history now. 1194 01:19:11,783 --> 01:19:14,608 What matters is the 1992 New Year's Eve Special. 1195 01:19:14,827 --> 01:19:17,735 Hey, one moment! Where are you going? 1196 01:19:20,663 --> 01:19:24,197 Sorry I'm late, Juli�n. It was the bus. 1197 01:19:24,457 --> 01:19:26,323 There was a lot of traffic. 1198 01:19:26,542 --> 01:19:28,867 Relax, we just got here. 1199 01:19:29,127 --> 01:19:30,201 Eat something. 1200 01:19:31,462 --> 01:19:34,371 We were talking about the contract. 1201 01:19:34,590 --> 01:19:36,747 Wait one minute. I'm going to the bathroom. 1202 01:19:38,759 --> 01:19:41,324 He just got here and he has to pee? 1203 01:19:41,636 --> 01:19:44,305 He's sick. You know, because of the... 1204 01:19:44,555 --> 01:19:45,212 Dope? 1205 01:19:45,973 --> 01:19:46,838 All kinds. 1206 01:19:47,140 --> 01:19:48,464 Fucking drugs! 1207 01:19:49,100 --> 01:19:50,424 That stuff can kill! 1208 01:19:50,684 --> 01:19:53,550 He has no money left. He's spent it all. 1209 01:19:54,186 --> 01:19:55,885 He must have snorted a ton! 1210 01:19:56,104 --> 01:19:58,845 That's why I think the show's a good idea. 1211 01:19:59,148 --> 01:20:02,139 He could get back on his feet. Both of you. 1212 01:20:02,400 --> 01:20:05,850 What are you saying? Right now I'm " number one". 1213 01:20:06,194 --> 01:20:09,968 I'm " into the top". I'm the master. Don't you watch TV? 1214 01:20:10,197 --> 01:20:13,481 But you paid a lot to be in the Olympics. 1215 01:20:13,699 --> 01:20:16,941 Nobody knows that. Everything's going my way. 1216 01:20:17,202 --> 01:20:18,526 I'm the Spanish " Frank" Sinatra. 1217 01:20:18,786 --> 01:20:20,819 Easy, Frank. 1218 01:20:21,038 --> 01:20:23,029 So what do we do? 1219 01:20:24,374 --> 01:20:28,031 Well, if it's for him... what can I say? 1220 01:20:29,751 --> 01:20:31,409 -No. -What? 1221 01:20:31,795 --> 01:20:34,192 Never. Not for all the gold in the world. 1222 01:20:36,506 --> 01:20:38,987 Have you two eaten everything? 1223 01:20:39,508 --> 01:20:42,375 No, no. We were waiting for you. 1224 01:20:42,636 --> 01:20:44,877 So, what I told you about the show... 1225 01:20:45,763 --> 01:20:47,587 First, tell Nino something for me. 1226 01:20:48,264 --> 01:20:52,757 Tell this person that I'm not interested in what he has to say. 1227 01:20:57,353 --> 01:20:59,553 Nino has always been our nucleus. 1228 01:20:59,813 --> 01:21:02,054 He's by far the funnier of the two. 1229 01:21:02,565 --> 01:21:04,598 We shouldn't be paid the same. 1230 01:21:06,109 --> 01:21:07,350 I was thinking, 1231 01:21:07,569 --> 01:21:11,770 30 per cent for me and 70 for him would be more appropriate. 1232 01:21:14,157 --> 01:21:16,189 But if it wasn't meant to be... 1233 01:21:16,617 --> 01:21:19,442 I'd like you to give this to him. 1234 01:21:21,412 --> 01:21:24,195 I won't bother you anymore. I'm leaving. 1235 01:21:24,789 --> 01:21:25,654 Good-bye. 1236 01:21:38,131 --> 01:21:39,038 Bruno! 1237 01:21:39,298 --> 01:21:41,831 You're mine, motherfucker! 1238 01:21:42,467 --> 01:21:43,708 Did you call me? 1239 01:21:43,927 --> 01:21:46,752 Bruno. There's still some ham left. 1240 01:21:47,137 --> 01:21:48,795 We need to talk about the show. 1241 01:21:58,812 --> 01:22:01,636 Nino! Excuse me. You're Nino, right? 1242 01:22:02,272 --> 01:22:03,429 Eh... yes. 1243 01:22:03,648 --> 01:22:04,888 Can I have your autograph? 1244 01:22:05,608 --> 01:22:08,172 -Do you have any paper? -On my t-shirt. 1245 01:22:08,443 --> 01:22:11,310 Autographs are such a pain. Nowhere to hide. 1246 01:22:11,528 --> 01:22:13,019 That used to happen to me. 1247 01:22:13,280 --> 01:22:14,145 Juli�n! 1248 01:22:16,490 --> 01:22:17,679 What cuties! 1249 01:22:19,117 --> 01:22:20,691 -You too, honey? -Yes. 1250 01:22:22,703 --> 01:22:25,945 Don't get nervous, now. There. 1251 01:22:26,622 --> 01:22:29,823 Give me a call at the office sometime. 1252 01:22:30,125 --> 01:22:31,032 Good-bye. 1253 01:22:34,627 --> 01:22:36,743 You're so lucky! 1254 01:22:36,962 --> 01:22:39,912 You sit in the background and nobody bothers you. 1255 01:22:40,173 --> 01:22:41,330 It's great. 1256 01:22:41,549 --> 01:22:44,082 Come on, Robocop. Let's go. 1257 01:22:57,310 --> 01:22:58,415 Is this your bag? 1258 01:22:58,936 --> 01:23:00,010 No, that's mine. 1259 01:23:00,729 --> 01:23:01,750 And whose is this? 1260 01:23:01,980 --> 01:23:02,887 Mine. What's wrong? 1261 01:23:03,147 --> 01:23:04,096 Open it please. 1262 01:23:04,355 --> 01:23:06,722 We're in a hurry. 1263 01:23:06,940 --> 01:23:08,806 Come on, Nino. It's all right. 1264 01:23:09,526 --> 01:23:13,216 This won't take but a second. Let's see... 1265 01:23:14,779 --> 01:23:16,854 Here we are. Well, well. 1266 01:23:17,490 --> 01:23:18,855 Is this a joke? 1267 01:23:20,242 --> 01:23:21,148 Wow, man. 1268 01:23:21,993 --> 01:23:25,110 You TV guys are always up to something. 1269 01:23:25,870 --> 01:23:29,279 Very nice, yes sir. And what do we have here? 1270 01:23:30,499 --> 01:23:33,490 Let's have a look. Just as I imagined. 1271 01:23:33,960 --> 01:23:36,325 I swear I have nothing to do with this. 1272 01:23:36,544 --> 01:23:40,369 No doubt. I'll taste to be sure, but I think this is... 1273 01:23:43,632 --> 01:23:45,873 Nose candy. Yes sir. 1274 01:23:46,717 --> 01:23:48,542 You have to come with us. 1275 01:23:48,761 --> 01:23:50,710 It won't be long. Don't worry. 1276 01:23:50,929 --> 01:23:51,794 Guards, please. 1277 01:23:52,597 --> 01:23:56,339 Juli�n, do something. Hey, do you know who I am? 1278 01:23:56,599 --> 01:23:59,841 -Juli�n, do something! Shit! -What can I do? 1279 01:24:00,894 --> 01:24:03,802 Our friend the TV star had quite a stash. 1280 01:24:04,355 --> 01:24:05,846 Come on. Come here. 1281 01:24:08,940 --> 01:24:11,724 -Look me in the eye. -Are you crazy? 1282 01:24:11,943 --> 01:24:13,808 Tell me it wasn't you. 1283 01:24:14,069 --> 01:24:15,727 Why would I do such a thing? 1284 01:24:15,945 --> 01:24:19,146 It would take years to find that much stuff. 1285 01:24:19,364 --> 01:24:21,439 -Exactly ten years. -Listen. 1286 01:24:22,158 --> 01:24:24,639 I'm going to find a lawyer. 1287 01:24:24,868 --> 01:24:26,526 Juli�n. Listen. Juli�n! 1288 01:24:36,585 --> 01:24:37,408 Hi! 1289 01:24:39,796 --> 01:24:42,119 You want to sign, too? It's free. 1290 01:24:42,338 --> 01:24:44,788 Another time, gorgeous. See you later! 1291 01:24:45,007 --> 01:24:46,872 -Bye, Bruno. -Bye. 1292 01:24:47,091 --> 01:24:49,958 And take off those shirts, you'll get arrested! 1293 01:24:52,762 --> 01:24:53,919 I spoke 1294 01:24:54,138 --> 01:24:54,961 with the lawyer. 1295 01:24:55,180 --> 01:24:57,713 So? It was obviously a set-up, right? 1296 01:24:57,932 --> 01:25:01,966 But you claimed it was for consumption. A kilo is a lot. 1297 01:25:02,727 --> 01:25:05,636 Get me fucking bail. Everyone gets bail. 1298 01:25:05,855 --> 01:25:06,720 We're on it. 1299 01:25:06,939 --> 01:25:09,472 But they want to set an example. 1300 01:25:09,732 --> 01:25:12,640 An example? These asshole judges should 1301 01:25:12,900 --> 01:25:15,725 go over to Bruno the Antichrist's house 1302 01:25:16,069 --> 01:25:18,435 and burn it down with him inside. 1303 01:25:18,779 --> 01:25:20,520 That would be justice. 1304 01:25:21,031 --> 01:25:23,898 Calm down. I'm just as fucked as you are. 1305 01:25:24,492 --> 01:25:26,608 No, not quite. 1306 01:25:26,910 --> 01:25:30,360 I've got four suitors in there waiting to propose. 1307 01:25:30,663 --> 01:25:31,987 You know what I mean? 1308 01:25:32,205 --> 01:25:35,979 Yeah, I understand. I know. But we need time. 1309 01:25:36,208 --> 01:25:40,034 Look on the bright side. The press didn't abuse it. 1310 01:25:41,295 --> 01:25:43,536 A special pull-out in the Sunday paper! 1311 01:25:44,880 --> 01:25:46,152 Nobody reads that. 1312 01:25:46,381 --> 01:25:48,372 Look at the TV section. 1313 01:25:48,966 --> 01:25:50,749 The New Year's Special, 1314 01:25:50,968 --> 01:25:52,708 but without my photo. 1315 01:25:53,011 --> 01:25:55,794 And the misprints. It says " Bruno and Tino". 1316 01:25:56,221 --> 01:25:57,879 "Tino"? What is that? 1317 01:25:59,015 --> 01:26:00,381 Yeah, "Tino". 1318 01:26:00,641 --> 01:26:01,506 What's wrong? 1319 01:26:02,184 --> 01:26:03,424 With me? Nothing. 1320 01:26:03,643 --> 01:26:06,093 Juli�n, you're hiding something. 1321 01:26:06,562 --> 01:26:07,719 It's no misprint. 1322 01:26:08,313 --> 01:26:09,012 What? 1323 01:26:10,857 --> 01:26:13,306 Bruno's doing a casting to find his "Tino". 1324 01:26:13,525 --> 01:26:16,975 He's called everyone. Even the Bullfighting Fireman. 1325 01:26:18,611 --> 01:26:20,602 He's replacing me with a dwarf. 1326 01:26:20,904 --> 01:26:23,896 I tried to stop him, but it's legal. 1327 01:26:24,115 --> 01:26:26,148 There's no patent for slapping. 1328 01:26:26,617 --> 01:26:28,733 He even convinced the TV station. 1329 01:26:28,952 --> 01:26:33,278 I'm in jail and he triumphs with the Bullfighting Fireman! 1330 01:26:33,538 --> 01:26:37,312 Please, Nino. Don't get carried away with this. 1331 01:26:38,125 --> 01:26:40,491 I'm fine. I'm fine... 1332 01:26:40,960 --> 01:26:44,494 It's this light. Someone turn it off. 1333 01:26:45,380 --> 01:26:47,496 I told him I'm out. 1334 01:26:47,922 --> 01:26:51,998 No way, Juli�n. You have to stay with him. 1335 01:26:52,217 --> 01:26:53,541 I could never... 1336 01:26:53,885 --> 01:26:57,377 Yes! Don't let that vermin out of your sight. 1337 01:26:57,596 --> 01:27:01,255 Stick to his shoe like a piece of gum. 1338 01:27:02,516 --> 01:27:03,340 Stop it! 1339 01:27:03,558 --> 01:27:05,466 -Sorry, Mr. Nino. -What do you want? 1340 01:27:05,727 --> 01:27:06,967 Your time's up. 1341 01:27:07,228 --> 01:27:10,636 Juli�n, don't let me down. Watch the Antichrist! 1342 01:27:10,855 --> 01:27:14,889 Let me go, bastards! I'm not an animal. I'm a human being! 1343 01:27:15,108 --> 01:27:17,141 -Don't touch Nino, you fuckers! -Assholes! 1344 01:27:31,911 --> 01:27:33,485 What's this for? 1345 01:27:33,704 --> 01:27:35,486 I don't know. My agent sent me. 1346 01:27:35,705 --> 01:27:37,696 It's for a substitution. 1347 01:27:37,957 --> 01:27:40,782 That guy's crying. Some people can't take it. 1348 01:27:41,000 --> 01:27:44,659 Being an artist can be a tough job. 1349 01:27:46,504 --> 01:27:50,747 Hello. Number 482. My name is Alfonso. I'm a singer... 1350 01:27:51,174 --> 01:27:52,497 Singer? 1351 01:27:53,008 --> 01:27:54,790 Come on, a singer? 1352 01:27:56,469 --> 01:27:58,210 No way. 1353 01:27:59,513 --> 01:28:02,077 Hello. I'm number 483. 1354 01:28:02,306 --> 01:28:04,975 My name is Jos� Manuel and I study drama... 1355 01:28:06,684 --> 01:28:08,550 No. I don't know. 1356 01:28:09,103 --> 01:28:11,427 I'm number 494. I'm an actor. 1357 01:28:11,646 --> 01:28:14,554 I was in the Kid's Circus, but now I'm bigger... 1358 01:28:15,899 --> 01:28:17,473 No, no, no. 1359 01:28:18,651 --> 01:28:21,017 481, my name is Eduardo G�mez. 1360 01:28:21,278 --> 01:28:23,945 I study the "Stainasky" method. 1361 01:28:24,154 --> 01:28:26,520 Stanislavsky? I like it. 1362 01:28:27,531 --> 01:28:29,230 No, his face is pathetic. 1363 01:28:29,825 --> 01:28:33,066 What? Who does the slapping around here? Me! 1364 01:28:33,577 --> 01:28:36,194 I say who stays and who goes. 1365 01:28:36,538 --> 01:28:40,155 You see? He's perfect. His face isn't pathetic. 1366 01:28:40,415 --> 01:28:41,656 Are you pathetic? 1367 01:28:42,000 --> 01:28:45,408 Well, I'm not exactly happy, but give me time... 1368 01:28:45,794 --> 01:28:49,286 He's made for the job. He won't annoy people. 1369 01:28:49,505 --> 01:28:50,829 -What's your name? -Me? 1370 01:28:51,048 --> 01:28:53,664 It doesn't matter. From now on you're Tino. 1371 01:28:53,925 --> 01:28:55,082 A round of applause. 1372 01:28:55,301 --> 01:28:59,417 You guys look like you're fucking asleep! Bravo, kid! 1373 01:29:23,486 --> 01:29:24,810 Nino. 1374 01:29:25,071 --> 01:29:26,895 Success is killing you. 1375 01:29:27,363 --> 01:29:30,688 You look good, too. Though I liked the tux better. 1376 01:29:31,491 --> 01:29:33,107 I've missed you so much. 1377 01:29:33,326 --> 01:29:35,723 You could have come to see us. 1378 01:29:36,119 --> 01:29:38,819 I didn't want to see you, just miss you. 1379 01:29:39,080 --> 01:29:41,863 I've quit magic. In the last town 1380 01:29:42,082 --> 01:29:44,531 they threw me from the bell tower tied to a goat. 1381 01:29:44,792 --> 01:29:47,190 So now, you see, I'm a labourer. 1382 01:29:47,419 --> 01:29:50,953 Taking doves out of a hat is out of style. 1383 01:29:51,630 --> 01:29:53,121 That's true. 1384 01:29:53,381 --> 01:29:56,540 Now people want spaceships, aliens... 1385 01:29:56,842 --> 01:30:00,500 and those fucking special effects will be the end of us! 1386 01:30:00,802 --> 01:30:02,043 And we ate all our doves. 1387 01:30:02,303 --> 01:30:05,879 Damn ecologists! You're here for eating doves? 1388 01:30:06,139 --> 01:30:08,255 No. We're not in jail, Nino. 1389 01:30:08,474 --> 01:30:11,007 We're building scaffolding 1390 01:30:11,226 --> 01:30:14,176 for the Christmas concert. 1391 01:30:14,437 --> 01:30:16,428 -Christmas concert? -What are you doing? 1392 01:30:20,483 --> 01:30:21,473 It sounds good. 1393 01:30:21,942 --> 01:30:26,018 We've got speakers that could blow up a house. 1394 01:30:26,279 --> 01:30:27,602 500,000 watts. 1395 01:30:28,238 --> 01:30:30,229 "Javi" metal. It's "Javi" metal. 1396 01:30:30,657 --> 01:30:34,023 Why the fuck do you need a small saxophone? 1397 01:30:34,575 --> 01:30:36,775 Yeah, I looked everywhere. 1398 01:30:36,993 --> 01:30:39,193 Look, I got a guitar and a piano, 1399 01:30:39,453 --> 01:30:41,444 but I couldn't get the saxophone. 1400 01:30:42,497 --> 01:30:44,822 You want me to go crazy? 1401 01:30:45,583 --> 01:30:48,574 Who cares if it was Charlie Rivel's. 1402 01:30:48,960 --> 01:30:51,910 Just worry about one thing. Tomorrow at seven 1403 01:30:52,129 --> 01:30:53,745 you have to be in make-up. 1404 01:30:53,964 --> 01:30:57,497 You and that Tino guy, or whatever his name is. 1405 01:30:58,800 --> 01:31:02,491 You and Tino tomorrow at seven in make-up. 1406 01:31:02,928 --> 01:31:06,544 I'll get the saxophone. I swear to God. 1407 01:31:08,515 --> 01:31:10,172 The riot began at the annual 1408 01:31:10,433 --> 01:31:14,008 Christmas concert at Carabanchel Prison. 1409 01:31:15,686 --> 01:31:17,677 I've got to hang up. 1410 01:31:17,980 --> 01:31:19,303 There were no 1411 01:31:19,564 --> 01:31:24,140 injuries, but objects were thrown into nearby streets. 1412 01:31:24,484 --> 01:31:27,184 Nevertheless, police sources confirm 1413 01:31:27,445 --> 01:31:32,229 at least one inmate managed to escape hidden inside of a speaker. 1414 01:31:35,825 --> 01:31:37,982 No, man. Shit! I told you. 1415 01:31:38,201 --> 01:31:40,682 Don't fucking close your eyes! 1416 01:31:40,953 --> 01:31:43,517 Sorry, Bruno. I can't help it. 1417 01:31:44,247 --> 01:31:46,155 Come on. Let's try again. 1418 01:31:48,417 --> 01:31:51,450 No... Don't worry. It's not your fault. 1419 01:31:51,836 --> 01:31:55,161 It's impossible without the right gear. 1420 01:31:55,380 --> 01:31:58,163 You're out of character without the saxophone. 1421 01:31:58,424 --> 01:32:00,290 We'll wait until tomorrow. 1422 01:32:00,509 --> 01:32:02,708 Relax. You're very tense. 1423 01:32:02,927 --> 01:32:04,835 Is something bothering you? 1424 01:32:05,095 --> 01:32:07,252 It's not so difficult. 1425 01:32:07,638 --> 01:32:10,171 I'm not asking you to do Hamlet. 1426 01:32:10,431 --> 01:32:12,130 Exactly the opposite. 1427 01:32:12,349 --> 01:32:15,758 Don't do anything. No expression. 1428 01:32:16,686 --> 01:32:19,354 Give me your nothing face. 1429 01:32:23,023 --> 01:32:25,223 You see? You do it wrong. 1430 01:32:25,859 --> 01:32:28,142 You're giving me your clown face. 1431 01:32:28,444 --> 01:32:30,977 Or... I don't know... your person face. 1432 01:32:31,196 --> 01:32:32,561 Try a plant face. 1433 01:32:34,156 --> 01:32:36,898 If you look scared it's not funny. 1434 01:32:37,117 --> 01:32:39,680 People pay to laugh, not feel guilty. 1435 01:32:40,034 --> 01:32:40,858 Let's see. 1436 01:32:41,119 --> 01:32:42,359 Watch Nino. 1437 01:32:44,746 --> 01:32:45,611 He takes it. 1438 01:32:46,706 --> 01:32:47,978 He's great. 1439 01:32:48,957 --> 01:32:52,074 Look at that absent stare. Total distance. 1440 01:32:52,376 --> 01:32:55,660 That expression. Beyond good and evil. 1441 01:32:56,212 --> 01:32:57,401 And he pouts. 1442 01:32:59,423 --> 01:33:00,872 That's fucking art. 1443 01:33:05,761 --> 01:33:08,044 Don't close your eyes! 1444 01:33:08,680 --> 01:33:10,796 Oh shit! He's crying! 1445 01:33:11,055 --> 01:33:14,714 This is comedy! Don't get all dramatic... 1446 01:33:15,767 --> 01:33:18,331 -Should I get that? -Don't move! 1447 01:33:24,106 --> 01:33:25,263 Hello? 1448 01:33:26,108 --> 01:33:27,129 Yes? 1449 01:33:29,193 --> 01:33:30,433 It's him! 1450 01:33:57,754 --> 01:33:59,786 Mr. Bruno, please. One question. 1451 01:34:00,005 --> 01:34:03,247 -Shut the fuck up! -One second, please. 1452 01:34:03,550 --> 01:34:05,082 I knew he'd be back. 1453 01:34:05,301 --> 01:34:07,917 But you didn't explain this to me. 1454 01:34:08,136 --> 01:34:11,420 -Is it part of the show? -Exactly. Part of the show. 1455 01:34:12,306 --> 01:34:14,255 I forgot my penholder. 1456 01:34:14,474 --> 01:34:17,089 Forget it. Stay put, you understand? 1457 01:34:17,308 --> 01:34:19,049 -But... -No buts and no crap! 1458 01:34:19,977 --> 01:34:22,374 Christ! The bathroom window! 1459 01:34:40,074 --> 01:34:43,108 Extra Casting Services? This is Angelito. 1460 01:34:43,327 --> 01:34:45,693 I'm calling to say I quit. 1461 01:34:45,953 --> 01:34:48,861 This comedy stuff isn't funny. 1462 01:34:49,080 --> 01:34:52,488 Get me out of here. I'm scared shitless. 1463 01:34:53,082 --> 01:34:54,406 Hello. How are you? 1464 01:34:55,709 --> 01:34:59,702 You must be little Tino. Why don't you come with me? 1465 01:35:01,922 --> 01:35:03,246 Get these shoes off. 1466 01:35:03,465 --> 01:35:06,206 The agency didn't mention a suitcase. 1467 01:35:06,425 --> 01:35:09,292 Improvisation, Tino. It's fundamental. 1468 01:35:09,511 --> 01:35:11,543 -Are you sure? -Of course. 1469 01:35:12,096 --> 01:35:13,670 Okay. Stop breathing. 1470 01:35:19,475 --> 01:35:20,580 Nino. 1471 01:35:24,812 --> 01:35:27,720 Tino... You want to play, eh? 1472 01:35:34,194 --> 01:35:36,435 This is no surprise. 1473 01:35:38,864 --> 01:35:41,480 I'm going to enjoy killing you. 1474 01:35:41,866 --> 01:35:45,639 Then I'll go do the show with that little clown. 1475 01:35:45,952 --> 01:35:47,443 He's much better than you. 1476 01:35:49,288 --> 01:35:51,820 You're trapped, Nino. 1477 01:35:52,706 --> 01:35:55,989 Where's that flabby body of yours? Under the bed? 1478 01:36:04,673 --> 01:36:07,873 Nino! Where are you taking me? 1479 01:36:08,467 --> 01:36:09,541 Mr. Nino. 1480 01:36:10,718 --> 01:36:11,876 Nino! 1481 01:36:27,771 --> 01:36:30,137 Why do you make this so difficult? 1482 01:36:31,941 --> 01:36:33,014 Nino. 1483 01:36:34,526 --> 01:36:36,267 I'm coming for you. 1484 01:36:36,694 --> 01:36:38,018 I can't breathe. 1485 01:36:38,237 --> 01:36:39,602 10 years waiting for this. 1486 01:36:41,364 --> 01:36:43,272 It's like singing the lottery numbers again. 1487 01:36:43,574 --> 01:36:45,398 Twenty four thousand, three hundred... 1488 01:36:45,617 --> 01:36:47,233 fifty six. 1489 01:36:47,994 --> 01:36:48,901 Two hundred million... 1490 01:36:56,249 --> 01:36:58,114 You hurt yourself, Bruno. 1491 01:37:01,419 --> 01:37:04,869 Yes, Mr. Judge. He was drunk, as usual. 1492 01:37:05,130 --> 01:37:07,246 He went to light the chimney, 1493 01:37:07,465 --> 01:37:10,165 and his piece of shit little girly robe 1494 01:37:10,467 --> 01:37:13,459 that he wore to feel important caught fire. 1495 01:37:14,428 --> 01:37:16,794 The keys! And fucking shut up! 1496 01:37:21,058 --> 01:37:24,258 Actually, sir, it was probably a suicide. 1497 01:37:24,477 --> 01:37:26,842 You know he was very unstable. 1498 01:37:27,061 --> 01:37:29,677 He was a loser and his luck ran out. 1499 01:37:31,564 --> 01:37:35,682 But, who really cares how that cockroach died, Mr. Judge? 1500 01:37:36,401 --> 01:37:39,267 -What are you doing? -Heating things up. 1501 01:37:40,320 --> 01:37:42,603 Burn my house, and yours burns too. 1502 01:37:42,822 --> 01:37:45,772 No, no. Remember? I live in prison! 1503 01:37:47,325 --> 01:37:49,191 I'm going to take out the trash. 1504 01:37:49,410 --> 01:37:51,026 Where are you going? 1505 01:37:52,412 --> 01:37:53,944 Good-bye, Bruno! 1506 01:37:54,747 --> 01:37:56,821 Thanks for ruining my life! 1507 01:38:10,549 --> 01:38:12,790 You wanted to replace me, eh? 1508 01:38:17,971 --> 01:38:20,671 Little Tino's very funny. 1509 01:38:21,015 --> 01:38:23,006 There's a joke you don't know. 1510 01:38:23,808 --> 01:38:26,008 The one about the Mandinga tribe. 1511 01:38:26,268 --> 01:38:29,958 Where they find a dwarf in a suitcase in the desert! 1512 01:38:41,361 --> 01:38:43,102 Get out. You'll stain the leather. 1513 01:38:43,738 --> 01:38:44,926 And if I don't? 1514 01:38:45,156 --> 01:38:46,771 You'll stain the leather. 1515 01:38:47,282 --> 01:38:48,231 What's going on? 1516 01:38:48,491 --> 01:38:49,231 Are you crazy? 1517 01:38:49,450 --> 01:38:50,555 I'm calling the police. 1518 01:38:50,826 --> 01:38:54,151 Get off my lawn or I'll shoot! This is our house! 1519 01:38:54,579 --> 01:38:56,820 Don't talk to him. He's dangerous. 1520 01:38:57,039 --> 01:38:59,197 That's it. Don't talk to me. 1521 01:38:59,457 --> 01:39:01,073 There's a hole in my foot and I'm nervous. 1522 01:39:01,334 --> 01:39:04,783 They're degenerate pigs, like everyone on TV. 1523 01:39:05,085 --> 01:39:07,952 Shut up, lady. Put your teeth back in. 1524 01:39:08,671 --> 01:39:09,495 Get out. 1525 01:39:10,089 --> 01:39:11,913 You'll kill me in front of all these people? 1526 01:39:12,174 --> 01:39:12,997 Are you shy? 1527 01:39:13,466 --> 01:39:17,625 I don't care. I'm stalling. The cops will be here any minute. 1528 01:39:17,886 --> 01:39:21,503 They'll throw you in jail. We'll be together again. 1529 01:39:21,722 --> 01:39:24,714 The show's at 7. The studio's half an hour away. 1530 01:39:25,475 --> 01:39:26,465 Forty minutes. 1531 01:39:26,684 --> 01:39:28,049 Get out of the car. 1532 01:39:28,268 --> 01:39:29,634 -What are you doing? -I'm out of here! 1533 01:39:43,695 --> 01:39:45,894 He's going to the studio! 1534 01:39:46,113 --> 01:39:48,396 And with that idiot! 1535 01:40:12,964 --> 01:40:16,123 Tino, are you all right? Knock a couple times. 1536 01:40:17,384 --> 01:40:20,053 Relax, man. Everything's fine. 1537 01:40:20,261 --> 01:40:24,170 Get some rest. Or go over your jokes. 1538 01:40:24,931 --> 01:40:28,131 Like I said. You need discipline. 1539 01:40:32,770 --> 01:40:36,137 Friends forever... 1540 01:40:38,773 --> 01:40:40,045 Looking for me? 1541 01:40:41,525 --> 01:40:42,766 Here I am. 1542 01:40:43,902 --> 01:40:46,518 He's shooting at me! 1543 01:40:48,488 --> 01:40:49,729 You want to play? 1544 01:41:03,207 --> 01:41:04,395 Fucking asshole! 1545 01:41:51,156 --> 01:41:53,063 It's okay. I'm all right. 1546 01:41:53,282 --> 01:41:55,648 Thank God. I thought it was too late. 1547 01:42:00,162 --> 01:42:01,027 Shit! 1548 01:42:15,964 --> 01:42:17,152 We'd better leave. 1549 01:42:17,590 --> 01:42:19,289 The police won't be long. 1550 01:42:19,675 --> 01:42:21,332 What do I tell the studio? 1551 01:42:22,135 --> 01:42:23,917 I can't believe it. 1552 01:42:24,136 --> 01:42:26,919 That man has been through hell! 1553 01:42:27,138 --> 01:42:28,921 Always thinking of yourself. 1554 01:42:29,181 --> 01:42:30,839 You put him in a suitcase! 1555 01:42:32,934 --> 01:42:35,384 I should have let those legionaries kill you. 1556 01:42:35,602 --> 01:42:37,218 There's still time. 1557 01:42:40,356 --> 01:42:44,213 I've spent my whole life fucking you over. I can't anymore. 1558 01:42:44,901 --> 01:42:45,973 Me neither. 1559 01:42:46,442 --> 01:42:47,714 Even Laura. 1560 01:42:50,237 --> 01:42:52,853 I fucked her just to piss you off. 1561 01:42:53,072 --> 01:42:54,438 I didn't even like her. 1562 01:42:54,657 --> 01:42:56,272 I was in love with her. 1563 01:42:56,700 --> 01:42:59,483 Are you fucking jealous of me? 1564 01:42:59,702 --> 01:43:01,067 Yes, I am. Yes! 1565 01:43:01,286 --> 01:43:02,693 But why? 1566 01:43:03,913 --> 01:43:06,738 You're smarter, better-looking, 1567 01:43:07,666 --> 01:43:09,198 and taller than me. 1568 01:43:09,417 --> 01:43:10,240 So? 1569 01:43:11,293 --> 01:43:14,983 What's the point? You're the greatest. 1570 01:43:15,254 --> 01:43:16,787 You're innately funny. 1571 01:43:17,588 --> 01:43:19,913 I don't even come close. 1572 01:43:20,716 --> 01:43:22,415 I'm nobody without you. 1573 01:43:24,510 --> 01:43:27,335 Knowing that makes me rot inside. 1574 01:43:29,597 --> 01:43:31,463 I never wanted to be funny. 1575 01:43:31,723 --> 01:43:34,840 I just wanted people to respect me. 1576 01:43:35,226 --> 01:43:36,925 Like they respect you. 1577 01:43:39,354 --> 01:43:42,804 I'm just a clown. A fucking clown! 1578 01:43:44,524 --> 01:43:47,349 And I can't take it anymore. 1579 01:43:52,654 --> 01:43:54,978 -They're here. -What do we do? 1580 01:43:55,322 --> 01:43:59,096 I don't know. I guess it's too late. 1581 01:44:00,743 --> 01:44:02,984 Come on. Let's go out in style. 1582 01:44:09,082 --> 01:44:11,198 Anything but here in the gutter. 1583 01:44:11,959 --> 01:44:14,033 This is pathetic. 1584 01:44:14,419 --> 01:44:16,983 Imagine the photo in the paper tomorrow. 1585 01:44:17,213 --> 01:44:19,287 Covered with mud, blood and shit... 1586 01:44:19,548 --> 01:44:21,871 Besides, without an audience... 1587 01:44:23,216 --> 01:44:27,250 Let's do it right. With class. It could be mythical. 1588 01:44:27,719 --> 01:44:29,293 We're the best, right? 1589 01:44:30,805 --> 01:44:31,753 Bruno... 1590 01:44:32,889 --> 01:44:33,880 and Nino. 1591 01:44:45,607 --> 01:44:47,348 You know the rest. 1592 01:44:48,525 --> 01:44:50,725 Nino and Bruno did their last show, 1593 01:44:50,986 --> 01:44:53,653 and people died laughing, one last time. 1594 01:44:53,862 --> 01:44:57,687 Juli�n, come on. Hurry up. 1595 01:44:59,991 --> 01:45:01,148 Say what you want, 1596 01:45:01,409 --> 01:45:04,734 but I think they're still breathing. 1597 01:45:05,370 --> 01:45:06,558 No, they're dead. 1598 01:45:06,829 --> 01:45:09,571 Make up your mind! Two lives are at stake. 1599 01:45:09,831 --> 01:45:12,739 Lay off, slick! 1600 01:45:13,000 --> 01:45:14,366 I can only do bandages. 1601 01:45:14,626 --> 01:45:16,826 You're supposed to be a doctor. 1602 01:45:17,045 --> 01:45:18,118 I'm only an objector. 1603 01:45:18,379 --> 01:45:19,244 What? 1604 01:45:19,463 --> 01:45:22,663 I didn't want to do my military service. 1605 01:45:22,965 --> 01:45:25,207 Do something. Anything! 1606 01:45:25,466 --> 01:45:27,415 Anything? 1607 01:45:27,843 --> 01:45:28,948 The only... 1608 01:45:29,177 --> 01:45:29,834 What? 1609 01:45:30,053 --> 01:45:31,074 The defibrillator. 1610 01:45:31,304 --> 01:45:32,294 What? 1611 01:45:32,513 --> 01:45:35,755 The defibrillator. It gives an electric charge. 1612 01:45:36,099 --> 01:45:38,256 Here. Come on. 1613 01:45:38,892 --> 01:45:40,299 Turn it up. 1614 01:45:42,478 --> 01:45:44,261 Easy, easy. 1615 01:45:44,730 --> 01:45:47,013 They could blame us for this. 1616 01:45:49,108 --> 01:45:49,973 Fuck! 1617 01:45:53,152 --> 01:45:54,143 How sad. 1618 01:45:54,445 --> 01:45:56,728 20 years and they're exactly the same. 1619 01:45:56,988 --> 01:45:58,176 Well, worse. 1620 01:45:59,781 --> 01:46:02,147 Doctor, tell me the truth. 1621 01:46:02,700 --> 01:46:04,691 Will they make it? 1622 01:46:04,910 --> 01:46:07,901 I don't know. They should be dead. 1623 01:46:08,120 --> 01:46:09,986 They're in critical condition. 1624 01:46:10,539 --> 01:46:14,114 But there's something, I don't know what... 1625 01:46:14,625 --> 01:46:18,242 An energy, a mysterious force keeping them alive. 1626 01:46:18,461 --> 01:46:21,025 -An energy? -Do you know what it could be? 1627 01:46:22,172 --> 01:46:24,329 Yes, I think so. 1628 01:46:25,257 --> 01:46:27,457 It's hard to explain. 1629 01:47:17,000 --> 01:47:21,618 DYING OF LAUGHTER115900

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.