All language subtitles for Cybill s04e19 dream date

Sybil, before I help you with your
lines, I have two questions.

First, how can all this dialogue be
yours when it belongs to different

characters? And second, whatever
happened to that blonde cop on Chips?

I'm just curious.

All those characters are me.

I'm playing a psychopath with 16
personalities.

And one of them is Irish, so I have to
learn that whole Lord of the Dance

Exhausting. That's good.

Oh, my character expresses her different
moods through dolls.

Like Fizzy here.

Let's have a tea party.

Shut up, you little slut!

I think I went to high school with her.

Oh, Marianne, this is so much fun.

These cheesy, over -the -top parts
always win awards.

If I throw in a limp, I could win an
Emmy.

Darling, I'm so happy for you. You have
a great part, a promising blind date,

and you might win an Emmy.

Hold it.

All right.

I know you hate blind dates.

But this guy... No!

What do you mean I might win an Emmy?

So you'll go on the date?

He's a really close friend of Richard's.
We could double.

I don't need to be fixed up. My personal
life is fine. On this movie alone, I've

made lots of new friends.

Right, Harvey?

We're going to have so much fun. Maybe
catch a movie?

Or get some dinner and go back to my
place and curl up by the fire.

You haven't picked me up at seven.

Loving one who loves you and then taking
that vow.

Nice work if you can get it. And if you
get it, won't you tell me

how?

What's one blind date? It's only a few
hours out of my life.

No. it was 14 years out of my life.

Huh. See, I would have said, hi, Ira,
why don't you come in out of the rain?

What are you doing here?

You're supposed to be picking up your
mother at the airport.

No, we're supposed to be picking my
mother up at the airport.

You're the one she's related to.

Yeah, but you're the one she likes.

Your mother loves you.

That time she took me to Hawaii, she
never stopped talking about you.

But, Sybil... No, Ira.

Ruth is not going to stay... here. This
time she wants to stay at your house.

All right, if she wants to stay at my
house, she should stay at my house.

Good for you. I'll just stay here.

Uh, hello.

Tried that. Didn't work.

Hey, Zoe.

No, Dad, I can't come with you to pick
up Nani.

I've got two piano gigs to play tonight,
and I really need the money.

Zoe, you don't pay rent, and I buy all
the food. What exactly do you need the

money for?

Gee, you're right, Mom. Why don't I just
live here forever?

Back off, Ira. She has to work.

You worked all last weekend.

Yeah, seven hours, no break, playing
piano for some jerk's anniversary party,

and then his check bounce, as if it
weren't humiliating enough playing Jimmy

Buffett's greatest hits dressed like a
giant margarita.

You should have seen her, Ira. She had a
little hat on with salt around the rim

and lime earrings.

She looked so cute, but she refused to
let me take a picture of her.

Hey, can I have this? Maybe it'll
distract Ma and we'll be home before she

starts telling me how to get there.

If it makes you feel any better.

Marianne has set me up with a blind date
tonight, so I'm going to be miserable,

too.

Thanks. That does help.

I dread this.

I'll just let myself out the back. I
don't want to know you've had better.

Okay, we're off to a good start.

Does my hand smell like cheese to you?

I don't know. Trust

your instincts.

What do you say we just split an order
of the fried cheese sticks, huh, baby?

Want cheese? I mean, what with your
hands and all.

So, what are you drinking, Bruce?

Oh, I think I'm just going to have a sip
of whatever Sybil's having.

I'll be having six glasses of wine.

And how about you, Marianne? Would you
like a cocktail?

It had crossed my mind.

Good, I'll order you one.

Richard, I think it's best to be
responsible for my own needs.

Anything else might intensify my issues
of codependency.

You're right. I'm caretaking again.

Well, I think it's pretty obvious these
two have blown a wad in all that therapy

crap.

Promise me we'll never do that.

I promise that's just one of the many
things we'll never do.

Hey, Garkin!

What did you just say? Garkin. That's
French. It means waiter.

I think you mean garçon.

No, no. See, a lot of people make that
mistake.

That's one of those crescent rolls, huh?

Good idea.

Irritate the person who will be alone
with your food.

What can I get you humans at the table
to start with this evening?

I'm sure my date would like to know if
there are any free snacks left over from

happy hour.

Great thinking. If we mix the cheese
sticks, I'll spring for some pie.

Peach.

Marianne, I've been meaning to ask you.

What were you thinking?

Give the man a chance. I mean, he's
wearing an Armani tie.

I know that's where the cheese smells
coming from.

You know, food.

Oh, give me that face. I want that face.

The woman who gave birth to me and who
loves Sybil?

I'm sorry we haven't met. I'm Ira.

Well, I'm not sorry we haven't met. For
all I know, you were sent here to kill

me.

Nice work, Marianne. He's dreamy.

Come on, Bubby. Our table's ready.

I smell cheese.

So what's it like to date someone
rolling in dough?

I beg your pardon? Well, I think it's
pretty obvious she's the one with all

moolah around here. I mean, doesn't that
make you feel kind of like a loser? You

know, like you're the girl.

Oh, you mean like you're the pig?

Look,

look.

I make a very nice living, and besides,
our relationship is not based on income.

It certainly is not.

It's based on mutual respect, genuine
affection. I couldn't agree more,

There's one thing we're sure of. It's
that money can't buy happiness.

It's like I don't even know you anymore.

Whoops. I think it's time to put some
more money in that parking meter.

Is it your turn or mine?

I pumped the gas, remember?

Fair is fair.

Cobbler.

Don't look at me. He's Richard's friend.

Actually, Marianne, he's really Jake's
friend, who I met through you, so

technically you're closer to this guy
than I am. Who's Jake?

Jake? You know, the short accountant
with the capped teeth. I thought that

Harry. Harry? No, Harry's the... Who
gives a rat's ass about Jake or Harry?

very much

gonna need some more bread did you see

that he saved your life now there's no
way i can ditch him well it's not a

disaster i mean at least he's nice to
look at

It's like that book Sybil gave me about
karma. I might have saved you in a

previous life.

And that's why the universe put you in
the restaurant tonight, to save me.

Wow, that really gives me goosebumps.

I mean, especially because I only
learned the Heimlich so that I could cop

feel.

What a sense of humor. Don't you just
want to take him home with you?

Well, thanks to you, we did.

No, Bruce, I would have saved her. You
just saw her before I did. And it's got

nothing to do with karma.

Ah, don't worry, Bubby.

You've done nice things for me.

Remember that juicer you sent me for my
birthday?

That was Sybil.

Oh.

Well, there you have it.

Who wants pie?

Ah, come on, admit it, Marianne.

You're embarrassed by my car.

I don't care if you're poor.

I'm not poor.

I just like driving a stick. It's a
choice.

Sybil, this man saved my life, and
you're not even giving him the good pie.

Come on, Bruce.

I know where she keeps her private
stash.

Well, does she always give her dates the
bad pie?

No wonder she's single.

We've got to make him want to leave.

Quick, Ira, go in there and talk about
golf.

So will you deserve an apology for this
whole blind date thing?

Richard, apologize.

Marianne is sorry.

So you're from Florida, huh?

Uh -huh.

Well, I'm going to go back there one
day. I mean, as soon as the Statue of

Limitations runs out.

You!

What the hell are you doing in my house,
you bastard?

What she said.

You are the scuzziest, cheapest, most
morally bankrupt man I've ever met.

He's dating Zoe, too?

This is the loser who bounced the check.
I played piano at his anniversary

party.

Anniversary?

You're married?

Well, yeah, but it's not serious.

That's it. You're out of here!

But I saved her life.

We're karmically linked together.

Linked schmink. You're a putz.

She said beat it!

What the hell was that?

Looks like a tree's just fallen across
your driveway.

Guess I'm stuck here for the night.

And me without my PJs.

Monterey Jacks.

Marianne.

Please, God, you promised me no more
talking wallpaper.

Sibyl, the drink.

The drink.

Look at these clothes. So this is where
the 70s came to die.

Will you shut down?

I'm hiding from Bruce in here.

If I throw him out in the storm and he
drowns on my property, could I go to

jail? Because if there's a possibility
of parole, that's my plan A.

Marianne?

That's Richard.

Don't let him in. I'm furious with him.

Marianne?

You may not want to come in here.

I'm counting my money.

Oh, go ahead.

I'll just go through some of the coats
for loose change.

Get in here.

And you can forget about the change. I
went through everything, and all I found

were some mints.

And they're mine. Mine, I tell you.

Someone's coming.

I better just stay away from that guy.
I'm scared of what I might do.

Hey, if I threw him out in this storm
and he drowned and I said, Mom did it,

could she go to jail?

I can't stand the way that guy looks at
me. He's got that smug, ha -ha, I saved

your mother's life look.

I've always hated that look.

Let's just hide.

You go ahead. I'll wait for the next
closet.

Is Bruce still here?

Hey!

Where is everybody?

Bruce, he's lonely!

I wish I'd brought my bag. I got
tranquilizer darts.

Oh, well, we'll just have to wait until
he walks into your bedroom, hits the

trip wire, and sets off the grenade.

Marianne, that's at your house.

Oh, I tried to get you to install one
here, but no.

You're being paranoid, Marianne. What
would I use it for, Marianne? Well,

sorry now?

Oh, my God, where's Nonny?

She's out there with him.

No, I'm not.

Right here.

You've been back here this whole time
and you haven't said anything?

I was waiting to see if anybody was
going to trash me behind my back.

Okay, this is ridiculous.

You're right. Five people in a closet,
that makes sense. But six is just silly.

I'm going out there and putting it into
this. This is my house. I will not be

made a fool of.

If it doesn't go well, we'll meet in the
crawl space under the garage.

Now remember, I want him alive.

Unless you kill him, that's good too.

Hey, Sybil, I've been reading your visa
bills. I mean, you sure go to the

dermatologist a lot. Is there something
I should know about?

No, but there's plenty you should
forget.

What, my name and address in the past
four hours?

I'm trying to imagine you saying that in
a teddy.

Get out!

Damn, I screwed it up again.

Why do I keep doing this to myself?

I put on the...

stupid, obnoxious facade because I'm
afraid that people won't like the real

Makes sense.

Why be afraid people won't like you when
you can be sure?

Well, I've been dealing with this darn
self -hatred for so long, and when I met

you, I liked you so much that I didn't
want to lose you.

Like I lost my mother!

He lost his mother.

See? Be careful what you wish for.

Ma, I never wished that.

I don't even know his mother.

She was killed in a freak accident.

That's why when I saw my chance to save
you, I felt like in some small way that

I was saving Mommy.

You're so lucky to have her, man.

Ma, he's right.

I am lucky.

From now on, you're always staying at my
house.

Oh, Bobby, that means so much to me.

Look at the nice thing you've done.

What, are you drunk?

He's full of crap, not to mention my
good pie.

She's got a right to be mad at me.

I mean, you two, you were doing fine
until I screwed things up.

I mean, I'm just jealous because I never
found my soulmate.

I mean, face it, you're meant for each
other.

I mean, you're such a giver, and she's
such a taker.

This strange, tormented man speaks the
truth.

What is all this love and forgiveness
crap?

Whatever happened to the bitterness and
sarcasm that's the backbone of this

family?

Yeah, I'm with Mom.

This loser wrote me a bad check after
making me play cheeseburger in paradise

times. People go to hell for less.

But it was my wife that wrote that
check.

I mean, she's got a lot of problems with
money. I mean, may God forgive her.

She's a degenerate gambler.

Here.

This ought to more than make up for it.

Wow.

Thanks.

I hope your wife gets the help she
needs.

That's it, guys.

him into that storm.

He saved my mom.

He paid in cash.

He made us whole.

Okay.

Obviously, y 'all want to spend the
evening with the Prince of Dorkness.

I, however, do not.

I can explain.

And I needed some kind of a trophy for
my buddies at work.

You want a trophy for your buddies?

Then they can melt your...

Sybil, you can do this. It's just one
night. How bad can it be?

Hi,

I'm Bruce.

Hi, I'm... Not going.

I'm sure you're a nice man, but you just
end up with a hatchet in your chest.

And neither of us wants that, do we?

Damn.

Why does Marianne always set me up with
these freaks?

You're the one with the cheese problem,
pal.