All language subtitles for Cybill s04e14 once twice three times a lady

Don't let annoying static cling keep
sparks from flying where they should.

Try new static king enhanced with new
scientific friction reducers.

It rules over cling.

Use static king when you really don't
want your clothes to cling.

Nice work if you can get it, and if you
get it, won't you tell me

how?

Oh,

this static king is amazing.

Now my hundreds won't stick to my
fifties.

I didn't know they still made twenties.

Let's get rid of that for you.

And if you come across any of those old
tens, fives, or ones, I'm making a

collage.

Thank you.

Oh, look, Marianne. Someone sent me
food.

I love how your face lights up whenever
you get a delivery from the Meat of the

Month Club.

But the March Meat of the Month is ham.

This is sausage.

I bet this is a little thank you from
the people at Static King.

My Bella Fiore, never will I forget our
evening of passion by the sea. How

exactly did you get this job?

I'll take that. Hold it right there,
Missy.

Let me guess, you have to know who it's
from.

No, I have to take the cheese.

So, it's from Gianni.

He's been writing me for a few weeks
now.

Gianni from Italy, Gianni?

Gianni, who crooned to you in his native
language, dropped seedless grapes onto

your tongue and eased you into womanhood
on the shores of the Mediterranean,

Gianni?

No, Gianni, who I regret having ever
told you about because of how you've

appropriated the memory, recast yourself
as me and turned something beautiful

into something pathetic and bizarre,
Gianni.

Are you going to want the biscotti?

Oh, God, he's coming to America just to
see me.

Oh, that's too much pressure.

Zoe, this man sent you salami.

I insist that you marry him.

Maybe I should see him again.

I've always wondered if there might be
more to us than just that one night. It

was magical.

Well, yes, he did make your virginity
disappear.

On the other hand, I don't want to ruin
that memory.

Mom, what would you do if the very first
guy you ever slept with wanted to see

you again?

Shave.

Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I really don't
know what I would do. I mean, my first

was 30 years ago, and it wasn't quite as
from here to eternity as yours.

It was more, where's Waldo?

Damn, why did my first sexual experience
have to be so great?

This would be so much easier if it had
just been lousy like yours.

Don't worry, honey, you're still young.
You have lots of lousy sex to look

forward to.

So, your first time wasn't that great?

Well, it was his first time, too.

Bobby Ray Weeks.

The second time was better.

And by the third, we're Nellie.

How long did you date?

Just the one night.

happened to Bobby Ray.

I moved to New York to become a model
and I never heard from him again.

You know, I'd like to write him a
letter.

His mother still lives in Memphis. She
could forward it to him. You think she'd

remember you?

She would if I signed it that little
Sheridan tramp.

We have to daddy king when you really
don't want your clothes to cling.

That's 16 earrings so far today.

Can I leave now?

I'm no longer surprised by the ending.

This is wild.

Everywhere you look, it's me, me, me!

Hello, Ego Patrol. I'd like to report a
major spillage.

This is not about ego. Every time this
thing runs... I make money, which means

nothing to you, but to me, that's a new
deep fryer and two kegs of the good

lard.

Am I the only one who thinks it's
ridiculous that you're using sex to sell

laundry supplies?

Oh, please.

People who have sex do way more laundry.

Well, that explains why I didn't have
any clean shirts during the last year of

our marriage.

So have you heard from Billie Jean King
yet?

Bobby Ray Weeks.

Who's that?

The first guy I ever did laundry with.

And no, I hadn't heard a word from him,
and I sent that letter to him over a

week ago. Maybe he doesn't remember you.

Because you were so spectacular that she
blew out his long -term memory.

Men are different. Their first time is
all about conquest.

Half of them don't even remember the
girl's name. Darla Rubin. Shut up.

Darla Rubin and Stacey Rembeck.

They were best friends. They did
everything together.

Hey, stop looking at us like that.

He's lying.

When men talk about sex, they lie.

No, we don't. We lie to get sex.

And then we sleep.

Bobby Ray has to remember me. I was his
first. How can you be so sure? He said I

was.

Listen, I had to use two flashlights and
guide him like he was bringing in a

plane.

Men lie to get what they want. As
painful as that may be, he probably

doesn't remember you.

Hello?

Bobby Ray?

It's Bobby Ray.

Hi.

I'm so glad you called.

You're in town.

Tonight? Just a second.

All I can say is... Can

you

believe Bobby Ray flew all the way from
Memphis just to see me?

That means his first time must have been
pretty damn special.

And I can't wait to ask him all about
it.

You do, and this is the last time I'll
ever bring you to meet the first guy I

had sex with.

I hope I recognize him.

It's been over 30 years.

Okay, okay.

Close your eyes, think back, and try to
visualize him.

For instance, was he short or tall?

I don't know. I don't have many memories
of him standing.

These are on the house.

Oh, really? Thanks.

I know if I was seeing my first time
again, I would want to be good and

Sybil?

Sybil Sheridan?

Bobby Ray?

He's tall.

Hi!

Oh, look at you.

Look at you.

Looking at me.

And look at these two people.

Looking at me.

This is my very best friend, Marianne
Thorpe. Hello.

And this is the guy who serves food.

Thank you for the lovely introduction,
lady who belches.

Nice to meet you.

Nice because we're meeting for the first
time, or nice because you always say

that?

Nice because you kept a chair warm for
him. Bye -bye.

But you drove me here.

Bye -bye.

But bite me.

You dog. This is a fun kind of
flashback, isn't it?

Only this time we're in a BMW instead of
up on cement blocks in your brother's

Bonneville.

Whatever happened to you after that
summer? I heard you joined the army.

Yeah. Spent three years getting yelled
at, liked it so much I got married.

Then divorced.

Married, divorced.

You? Same, except for the army.

Well, Ira yelled a lot.

It is so good to see you again. I mean,
in person.

I've seen just about all your movies.

Oh, and you called me anyway.

I'll never forget that one movie where
your head splatters against the side of

barn.

Everybody else was screaming and
covering their eyes, but I just sat

thinking, I dated that head.

Shut up. You'll make the rest of me
jealous.

Oh, wow.

7 -Eleven.

I gotta stop.

Why?

Well, there's just, uh, something about
a 7 -Eleven.

You're gonna bring me some Fritos like
on our first date. You remember?

May I have the honor of buying you a bag
of corn chips?

Run, you fool.

Run like the wind.

Marianne?

I wanted to ask your advice about
something before Mom gets home from her

Are you busy?

Uh, well, yes, but I suppose it can
wait.

me another letter and i need an
objective opinion is it sweet or is it

smarmy because when it comes to men you
can sniff out smarm like a pig sniffs

out truffles well i believe one must use
one's god -given talent actually

it's a poem poetry the villainous verse
of the male

sex dipping their quills into the black
ink of

scrawling lie as to lie on the unspoiled
parchment of your heart only to burn it

in the blistering fire of betrayal.

But don't worry, I'll be completely
objective.

Maybe I'll just figure it out on my own.

Glad to be of help.

Now, I'm so far behind.

Could it be I was right? You weren't his
first, and he's a lying bastard who'd

say anything to satisfy his nasty little
needs?

Close.

We have another date on Tuesday.

Oh, and tonight they're running my
commercial during the news.

Ka -ching!

So, Sybil, I'm waiting.

Were you Billie Jean's first?

Bobby Ray.

And we had such a wonderful time, I
forgot to even ask him.

Wonderful time? So, were you his last?

Of course not.

He was a perfect gentleman. He took me
back to the restaurant, I drove myself

here.

But look, he gave me a bag of Fritos.

And you just let him drive away?

No, you don't understand. He gave me
Fritos on our first date.

And I feel like it's fate that Bobby Ray
and I have come back together after all

these years. I think there might be a
greater purpose.

Yes, perhaps he needed an alibi.

What? Isn't that Mr. Frito -Lay?

Bobby Ray!

The suspect was released from prison
just two days ago, serving time for

robbery.

Are

you

okay?

never been on a date with a guy who
committed a felony.

Now, how can I possibly enjoy these
Fritos knowing they're stolen property?

So take them back.

Marianne, please. I'm looking for
solutions.

Oh, look.

More flowers from Gianni.

This is all Zoe's fault. If she hadn't
had such a perfect first time, none of

this would have happened.

Don't look at me. I told you to sell her
years ago.

Nobody can go off to Italy and have a
perfect first time.

But try doing that in Tennessee.

I know what I've got to do. I've got to
confront Bobby Ray. Of course.

He lied. And now he must pay.

I love this part.

I'm not mad at him because he lied to
me.

I'm mad because he ruined my precious
memory.

And now I'll never be able to think
about my first three times without

feeling... Nasty.

Dirty.

Blind.

I liked all that.

Wow.

I've done a lot of movies that take
place in prison, but it's weird to

be in one.

You know, without the lights and cameras
and with all my clothes on.

Nikolai!

It's my chemical weapons connection. No
wonder he hasn't been...

I must talk to him.

Now

I

know why you didn't invite me back to
your place.

I'm sorry, Sybil. I'm so ashamed I can't
even look at you.

Oh, but you can look at my breath.

What do you want? I just spent the last
20 years in the joint.

You had a chance last night, but you
chose to rob a mini -mart. I had a

Really? You just slept with me?

No, but you didn't know that.

I'm so mad at you.

You ruined the memory of my first time,
and even worse, you ruined Fredo's.

I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. It
was my first time, too, and you'll

always be special to me.

Oh, Bobby Ray, I really was your first.

You blast me. You got five more minutes.

Jablanski, this is Bobby Ray Weeks. No,
it isn't.

Weeks was transferred to Vacaville.

Then who's this?

Ed Jablanski.

Weeks and I were so mixed.

You're not Bobby Ray?

What is this?

Freaky candid prison camera?

Bobby Ray used to talk about you all the
time. I don't think any of us believed

him until he got your letter. Oh.

By the way, you really shouldn't send
your phone number to a prison.

I didn't send it to a prison. I sent it
to his mother in Memphis.

Well, just so you know, she blames you
for his life of crime.

Oh, she's always been jealous of me,
just because I had teeth.

Look, I know it was wrong to pretend to
be Bobby Ray, but I really wanted to

meet you.

I'm a fan.

Your movies are very popular in here.

I can't believe I thought you were Bobby
Ray.

Well, it has been 30 years.

Yeah, but I almost always remember the
people I have sex with.

Listen, I really did have fun last
night.

And if you had been my first time, I
never would have let you get away, no

matter how many cars I would have had to
steal.

Oh, that's sweet.

And I thank God that never happened kind
of way.

Okay, you blansky, let's go.

Before you go.

Was I the first woman you ever lied to
about who you were and then took on a

date and robbed a store while she waited
in the car?

No.

Okay, the first blonde.

The first grandmother.

Let me get back to you on that.

Okay, well, you have my number.

story to everyone in here.

Darling, he was telling me.

Oh, yeah?

What the hell was that?

I don't know. It's from Star Wars.

You are pretty.

Mom, I'm sorry you had such a bad
experience with Bobby Ray. I wanted to

you up. These are for you.

Oh, I love yellow roses.

Thank you, honey.

Aw, now don't get all mushy on me.

So, when is Gianni coming to visit?

No, he's not.

I decided I'd rather keep my night with
Gianni as a beautiful romantic memory

than screw it up with reality.

Zoe, don't let my experience with Bobby
Ray influence what you do with Gianni.

Mom, your first love turned out to be an
armed robber.

Yes.

But that whole experience reminded me
what it's like to be optimistic about

love. I don't want to ever lose that.
And I don't want you to lose it.

You'll never know what's possible with
Gianni unless you take that risk.

Thanks, Mom.

I'll think about it.

Hey, honey, does Johnny have a single
father?

An uncle?

An aunt with a mustache?

We were all on the debate team.

Now, here, look.

There's Darla.

There's Stacy.

There's me.

And look, they even signed it together.

Dear Ira, it was wonderful having you in
homeroom. Love, Darla and Stacy.

See?

Having? This really is Bobby Ray, right?

Bobby Ray Weeks?

Okay, I have one more thing to ask you.

Was that your first time?

Really? How about first blonde?

First one in a Pontiac?

First one that day?