All language subtitles for Cybill s04e08 wheres a harpoon when you need one

I'm Sybil Sheridan. Why am I smiling?
Because I'm having the time of my life

a carousel cruise.

Can't you just smell that ocean breeze?

There's only one thing missing.

You. So come on, put on your sailing
shoes.

You've paid your dues, so kick the blues
on a world -class cruise. What have you

got to lose?

this crap.

Loving one who loves you and then taking
that vow.

Nice work if you can get it and if you
get it won't you tell me

how.

Champagne. What are we celebrating?

It's the anniversary of Marianne's
divorce from Dr. Dick.

Four years filled with senseless acts of
violence, revenge, bitterness and rage.

Where did the time go?

I just want to remind you, the last time
you had champagne for lunch, you ended

up playing strip poker with the busboys.

Oh, like you never do that.

Congratulations on four years of
glorious dicklessness.

I shouldn't have.

A cruise ship brochure. Oh, Sybil.

Champagne and pictures of fat people
playing shuffleboard.

I'm overwhelmed.

I need to do some exterior shots on that
commercial I'm doing.

And you're going with me.

I'm so touched. Thank you.

Well, I told them I wouldn't go unless
my best friend went along.

Oh. By the way, if anyone asks, You're
Francine from housekeeping.

You know, I haven't been on a cruise
since Dr. Dick and I went to Cabo San

with the Robert Stacks.

Marianne, you know the rule.

You are not allowed to remember the good
times with Dr. Dick. It just confuses

you. Like cash.

But when you get divorced, you don't see
any of your coupled friends.

And I miss the Robert Stacks.

Ah, here we go again.

Nobody throws a party like the Robert
Stacks.

Nobody plays Pictionary like the Robert
Stacks.

Nobody is so interesting or so wonderful
or so perfect as the Robert Stacks,

Robert Stacks, Robert Stacks.

You're just mad that I never introduced
you. Yeah, and why not?

I'm fun.

Hey, is that new?

What? Show me. No.

Marianne, I can take you. You know I
can.

Did you get that?

I don't remember.

Wait a minute.

It's from Dick, isn't it? No.

No.

Oh, I found it.

I did. I was checking for change in the
coin return of a pay phone.

And there it was.

This is from Dick.

See? The little hand is on the three,
and the big hand is on his

ass.

It's just another of his empty attempts
to win me back by buying me something

exclusively beautiful, but it means
absolutely nothing to me. It's just a...

Watch!

Tick -tock, tick -tock, tick -tock, tick
-tock, tick -tock, tick -tock, tick

-tock, tick -tock.

Give this to your mother.

My God.

She has never had anything this
beautiful.

And she never will.

Zoe, come on.

What the hell are you wearing?

I said let's go to the beach. Now let's
go beekeeping.

I have fair skin.

Of course, I could wear sunscreen, but
someone refused to buy it because the

bottle wasn't recycleable.

So now I have to go outside looking like
a floor lamp.

Surprise!

I have declared today everyone's
birthday.

Zoe?

Happy birthday!

Here's something to change into right
away.

for my beautiful, wonderful, perfect
baby boy.

Mom, according to you, yesterday was my
birthday, too.

And the day before that.

At the rate I'm aging, I should be
dating Anna Nicole Smith by the end of

week.

All right, darling. Return it and donate
the refund to save that planet you're

always going on about.

Okay, she's psycho shopping.

Or she just freaked out over my dad
trying to get her back.

It has nothing to do with Dick.

I told you I'm over him.

It's Dick. Can't you receive a gift
without making it a Freudian field trip?

Oh, it's Dick with a shoe compartment.

Happy birthday.

I just wanted to tell you that if you
want to talk about this thing with

Justin, I will not put you in the middle
of this.

But thank you for offering.

Well, Zoe made me.

You've become such a fine young man who
I'm sure will soon outgrow this

disturbing pirate phase.

Now stop worrying about me.

Just because I'm shopping doesn't mean
I'm out of control.

By the way, that's yours.

Remember, the chip leaves at six. And
Marianne, pack light.

No, I ask. They will not tow a separate
barge for your shoes.

Oh, no, it's... Doctor.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa.

Sybil, I know it's you.

All right, I'll let him in.

Then I'll pee on his leg.

So all he wanted was to give you a
letter from Marianne? Shh, I'm reading.

He told me to.

He put me right in the middle, Ira.

He said I can give it to her or not. I
decide.

Ah, so if you don't and she finds out
about it, it's your fault.

If you do and she decides to see him
again, should have kept barking.

Should have kept barking.

Should have kept barking.

When did you hear this crap?

I've enclosed a picture of you that I
took the morning after we were married.

You were still asleep, Marianne.

I'd never seen anyone so beautiful, and
I still think that.

If you decide not to see me, keep it.

I can't bear to have that picture if I
can't have you.

Are you crying?

Yes, but not because of this.

Because they're making another Brady
Bunch movie.

You know, maybe Dick has changed.

Maybe he does care about her. Shut up,
shut up, shut up. You know nothing.

Well, that was loud.

If Marianne reads this, she'll melt
down. How can I keep it from her? Ira,

me. Are you sure? Because I don't want
to violate the shut -up -know -nothing

law.

I'm so sorry I'm late.

If we hurry, we can just make the shift.

No, I knew you'd be late, so I told you
to be here an hour earlier than you

needed to be. Yes, but I know you do
that, so I got a facial.

Now we are, in fact, late.

But I dare you to find a pour.

I can't believe it! We spent all this
time talking about the...

Thing? I lost track.

What thing?

Uh, Ira's thing.

Hey, it's not my thing. Don't put the
thing on me.

He doesn't want to talk about the thing.

It's personal.

Why? What is it? Does he have a fungus
or something?

Exactly. Sybil. Please have this fungus,
Ira, please.

Wait a minute.

I'd know that cologne anywhere.

It's owed to Dick.

I'm out of here.

No, stay!

I can't. Tonight's my fungus support
group.

It's my turn to bring the snack.

Well, let's get the bags in the car.

Dick.

interested, so he left. You know, your
skin does look positively dewy.

I want to know what he said, word for
word.

I didn't understand at all. I'm not
fluent in rat bastard.

Tell me, why do you care? Do you have
feelings for him?

Marianne, you've got to stay away from
him. You've got to stay strong.

You know, Sybil, I am getting tired of
this. Who are you to decide what I

or shouldn't do?

He brought you a letter.

Were you going to tell me about it?

Well, I feel pretty sure I was going to
tell you about it.

Let go.

I can't. It's my letter.

But it's bad for you.

So are ringdings, but do I yank them out
of your mouth?

I see you down here.

How are you?

How's Mrs. Robert Stack?

Mrs. Robert Stack and I are just fine.

Mary Ann, I'll make this brief.

Dick wants you back. You won't speak to
him. Now, I don't want to butt in,

but... God, I love your voice.

I'm sorry. Go on.

But he gave me a copy of a letter that
he gave you.

He even told me to read it first.

I don't read other people's letters.
That's a federal offense.

But I didn't feel anything at all for
Dick.

And I think you owe it to yourself to
read the letter.

Wait a minute.

In the other jacket.

Doggone it.

That's all right. I have the original.

Here.

If you think he's sincere, I'll talk to
him.

Not everyone would show to that
responsibility, but since you're my

Touching. Moving.

Here, you read it. I'm tearing up.

Stop. This picture isn't you.

What? Are you sure?

It's a long time ago and my face is
blurry, but that's definitely my Marlo

Thomas helmet hair.

Notice the pattern on the sheets.

It's floral rhapsody.

Long Sutter didn't introduce that
pattern until spring of 1995.

Picture is a fake, the man is a fraud.

Why would he do this?

I don't know. I don't know.

Wait, I know.

Those 15 eggs at Lake Tahoe you got in
the divorce settlement.

Donald Trump is planning a casino there.

Is that why Donald keeps calling?

I thought it was because I taught Marla
how to throw a rattlesnake into a moving

limo.

The property's going to be worth a
fortune.

So if Dick and I were to remarry...
Well, the puzzle's complete.

Case is closed.

Come, Marianne, I'll walk you to the
car. No.

Thank you, Robert.

I have work to do.

Tell another mystery song.

I'm good.

I know you're there.

Dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick,
dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick,

dick.

Dick.

Darling.

Didn't you want to talk?

Okay, maybe now is not a good time, but
that's not a problem because I'll always

be there for you.

Dick.

Whenever there's acid rain coming from
your sprinklers, I'll be there.

Whenever there are fire ants in your
tanning booths, I'll be there.

When you've deluded yet another poor,
unsuspecting x -ray technician into

accepting your loathsome advances,

and a pack of rabid Dobermans jumps into
your jacuzzi and rips the very soul

from your body, I'll be there.

Still don't feel like a chat,
sweetheart.

I can wait.

But what will I do while I'm waiting?

Isn't that your brand new Bentley?

tomorrow. Go ahead, say it.

Say what?

I told you so?

Don't be silly.

I'd never say I told you so.

What kind of friend would I be if...

What kind of

friend would I be if I just kept
repeating, I told you so, I told you so?

No, you won't see me look you right in
the face and say I told you so?

Are you through?

Yeah, I'm done.

If you really wanted to thank me, you'd
introduce me to Robert Stack.

Maybe you are ready.

Maybe I will introduce you.

Really?

What do I call him?

Robert? Bob?

Bobby? Robbie?

Bert? Robbo?

If I heard you correctly on the pier,
we're going to need a couple of rabid

Dobermans. Were you happy with the guy
we got them from before?

Because I liked him.

I know what I said, Sybil, but honestly,
we're two world -class women with so

much to give.

Why waste any more energy on Dick?

I'll tell you one thing.

Dick's not a challenge anymore.

It's like we've turned the page and
gotten to the end of the chapter.

Look at me.

I'm getting all weepy.

Me too.

And I'm having trouble breathing.

This is war!

And God help me, I do love it so.

Look out, Dick! She's back!

Come on, we got work to do. We gotta
find a bag of killer bees and some

barbecue.