All language subtitles for Cavendish.S01E08.Its.an.Andyful.Life.1080p.CBC.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-DJSF_track3_[eng]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,437 --> 00:00:06,638 - Happy birthday, Andy! Go on, make a wish. 2 00:00:06,773 --> 00:00:08,774 - I wish to write 3 00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:12,644 a great Canadian novel by the time I am 35. 4 00:00:12,779 --> 00:00:15,280 - And you will, but don't say it out loud 5 00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:17,849 or it might not come true. Where's your mother? 6 00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:20,852 Andrea! Boy's just about to blow his candles! 7 00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:25,457 - Rollie! - You alright? 8 00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:27,859 - It's time! - It's happening, is it? 9 00:00:27,895 --> 00:00:29,861 OK, I'm coming! 10 00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:31,863 I can't believe it! I'm gonna have a new son! 11 00:00:31,998 --> 00:00:36,401 - Wait, Daddy! What about my party? And opening my presents? 12 00:00:36,404 --> 00:00:38,670 - Andy, you are just about to get a new baby brother. 13 00:00:38,739 --> 00:00:41,707 Can't ask for a better present than that! Dear God! 14 00:00:47,048 --> 00:00:50,883 For the new baby boy. 15 00:00:59,025 --> 00:01:01,426 And for the record... 16 00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:06,131 Woah! Fifteen! 17 00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:09,034 - Dear God, Dad! - Ah! 18 00:01:09,169 --> 00:01:11,303 - You guys eat breakfast without me? 19 00:01:11,438 --> 00:01:13,638 - I knew I was forgetting something. 20 00:01:13,773 --> 00:01:16,441 Go and have a seat, Andy! It's your brother's birthday! 21 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,844 - Finally, my boyhood is behind me. 22 00:01:18,979 --> 00:01:21,046 - Yeah, well, you're still a boy in my book. 23 00:01:21,048 --> 00:01:23,114 I mean, you do cry while you're having your hair cut. 24 00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,383 - Well, they cut too much. It's not what I asked for. 25 00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:29,721 It's never what I asked for. - Are we forgetting anything? 26 00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:31,656 - Um... - Uh... 27 00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:33,992 - Family gathering, pancakes... Uh... 28 00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:36,394 Mark's birthday's stocking's up. I don't think so. 29 00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:39,931 - It's my birthday too. - Oh? 30 00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:42,234 - It's my birthday too. Mark and I were born 31 00:01:42,369 --> 00:01:45,537 on the same day. - No. You... You sure? 32 00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:47,539 Cause you seem more like a... 33 00:01:47,575 --> 00:01:49,607 winter birthday boy to me. - I think I know 34 00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:52,677 when my birthday is, Dad. - I just think this is terrific 35 00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:55,481 Andy, would you like some birthday pancakes? 36 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,951 They're chocolate chip. - I'm allergic to chocolate. 37 00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:00,619 - Really? - What? 38 00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:02,488 - Like you're some king of dog. - That's OK. 39 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:04,556 I'll just take out the chocolate pieces. 40 00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:06,425 It'll look like a hungry little mouse got at them! 41 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,527 - There you go! Problem solved. 42 00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:11,162 Right! We got to party to crack on! 43 00:02:11,198 --> 00:02:13,765 Obviously, it was designed just for Mark, 44 00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:17,102 but now it can be for the both of you. So that's alright, isn't it? 45 00:02:17,237 --> 00:02:19,838 - Yeah. That's... I guess. - There's that joyless 46 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,440 submission to fate we've all grown to love 47 00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:25,677 and cherish. Good lad! Right! Come on! 48 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:28,313 Fifteen pancakes! - Yeah, that was a lot! 49 00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:34,986 - Surprise! - Oh, my goodness! 50 00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:37,756 - See? It's a surprise party! - How long have you guys been waiting out here? 51 00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:40,058 Cause we just had like a full breakfast. 52 00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:42,461 - A very long time. - You see, 53 00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:44,463 I missed so many of your birthdays 54 00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:46,531 when you were growing up, I just wanted to make up 55 00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:48,667 for some lost time. Go and have a seat. 56 00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:51,002 Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention! 57 00:02:51,138 --> 00:02:55,073 You can all take a seat, please. Thank you for being here today 58 00:02:55,075 --> 00:02:57,142 to celebrate Mark's birthday. 59 00:02:57,277 --> 00:03:01,079 Oh, and as some of us have recently discovered, Andy's. 60 00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:05,483 Now, the one thing that these two boys 61 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,619 had in common when they were kids 62 00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:10,021 was their love of magic. Isn't that true? 63 00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:13,892 - Actually, yes. Yes, it was. - And so, with that in mind, 64 00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:17,495 I have hired a local magician to astound us all. 65 00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:21,700 Please welcome Quantum the Unyielding! 66 00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:25,237 - Thank you! Thank you! Hello, friends. 67 00:03:25,239 --> 00:03:27,505 I am Quantum the Unyielding, 68 00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:29,708 formally Quantum the Spectacular, 69 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:33,311 but recently changed due to the darkest spell of them all: 70 00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:36,514 copyright infringement. Ha! Ha! - It's a good joke. 71 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:39,517 - Look at our two birthday boys surrounded by their friends. 72 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:42,120 You know, they say friendship is the most valuable thing. 73 00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:45,857 But I think it's actually gold! 74 00:03:45,992 --> 00:03:49,394 - Oh, my goodness! - Magic is real. 75 00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:52,531 - You know, if you clean behind your ears, 76 00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:54,666 you could get rich! - I will keep that in mind. 77 00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:58,403 - Your ears also look a bit dirty, but it's not gold back there. 78 00:03:58,538 --> 00:04:01,273 Hang on. What? 79 00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:04,476 How did that get back there? 80 00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:07,546 - Oh, my goodness! Andy! 81 00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:10,082 - You were probably saving it for later. 82 00:04:10,217 --> 00:04:13,018 - Aren't you a kids' magician? - Oh, yes. I should clarify 83 00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:15,487 that I did select the Quantum adult option. 84 00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:17,789 I think we're seeing what that means! 85 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:21,192 - You're God damn right. - For my next trick, 86 00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:24,029 a classic with a deck of cards. Please, sir, 87 00:04:24,031 --> 00:04:26,798 select a card. - Um... There we go. 88 00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:29,268 - Memorise it, show it to the gathered crowd. 89 00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:33,438 Replace it in the deck. I shall shuffle the cards, 90 00:04:33,573 --> 00:04:36,108 place them here on this table 91 00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:39,911 and with but a snap... Sir, check inside 92 00:04:40,046 --> 00:04:42,214 your jacket pocket and reveal the chosen card. 93 00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:48,286 - What the...? - Oh, my God! Ha! Ha! Ha! 94 00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:50,188 - How did that get in there? - It's another dildo! 95 00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:51,989 - Yeah. This isn't mine. This isn't mine. 96 00:04:52,126 --> 00:04:54,159 - No judgement, sir. Nobody's kink shaming anybody. 97 00:04:54,228 --> 00:04:57,229 To each his own. Right, everyone? - To each his own. 98 00:04:57,231 --> 00:04:59,664 - It's not my kink, though. I mean, it's not... It's... 99 00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:02,734 I mean, it's fine if... - Now... for my final, most spectacular effect, 100 00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:05,804 I will reveal that at this very moment, 101 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,939 this man has hidden about this person 102 00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:10,275 an unfathomable number of dildos! 103 00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:12,310 OK. I'm done! I'm good. 104 00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:15,213 Excuse me, excuse me. - Come on, Andy! It's funny. Where are you going? 105 00:05:15,348 --> 00:05:18,116 - For a walk. - Oh, Andy, come on, man! 106 00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:20,952 Don't do that! Oh, my goodness, would you look at this? 107 00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:23,155 There's a dildo right on his chair! 108 00:05:23,157 --> 00:05:25,624 Where he was sitting! How did you do that? 109 00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:29,895 - Magic, dear friends, magic. - What a triumph! 110 00:05:36,102 --> 00:05:40,638 - You look like a fellow with a lot on his mind. 111 00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:43,442 - Oh, I didn't see you there. - Yeah, it happens sometimes 112 00:05:43,577 --> 00:05:46,177 Gotta work on my signage. So what's wrong, friend? 113 00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:48,380 You've got a face longer than an Austrian crescent. 114 00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:50,381 That's a type of potato. 115 00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:52,951 - It's my birthday today. - Oh! Happy birthday! 116 00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:55,186 - Thank you! Thank you. Actually, 117 00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:57,989 no one really remembered, so... - Oh! 118 00:05:58,058 --> 00:05:59,991 - Yeah. Just once, I'd like to be the center 119 00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:02,193 of attention in a good way, you know, not the bad way. 120 00:06:02,328 --> 00:06:04,396 - Right, right. Well, what's the bad way? 121 00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:07,065 - I don't know, people pointing at me... laughing at me... 122 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,668 - Laughing at you, sure. - Pulling dildos from my ear. 123 00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:12,437 - Yeah, alright. Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. Is that... OK. 124 00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:15,473 Well, listen, man. If, uh... if you want to talk, 125 00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:17,809 I'm here for you. But... 126 00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:20,512 Looks like someone else might want to have a chat too. 127 00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:24,682 - What up? What up? 128 00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:27,519 Hey, man! You took off. What are you doing? 129 00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:29,621 Buying some... potatoes? - What are you doing here? 130 00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:33,391 - I brought you some cake. - Is that chocolate? 131 00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:36,527 - Yeah, why? Oh, right. You don't like chocolate. 132 00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:38,663 - I'm allergic! - You're allergic. 133 00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:40,699 You're allergic, that's right. Check out my new shirt! 134 00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:42,634 Dad got it for me. Also, the scooter. 135 00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:45,637 I'm already learning how to do tail whips. You want to try it out? 136 00:06:45,772 --> 00:06:47,872 - I don't care about your stupid scooter. 137 00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:50,174 Just leave me alone, OK? - OK. Me thinks we're talking 138 00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:52,310 about more than just the scooter here. 139 00:06:52,445 --> 00:06:55,580 - Yeah, maybe. Uh, I don't know. - You don't get it! 140 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,916 Up until I was four, my birthday was just about me 141 00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,851 and then you come along and all of the sudden, 142 00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:02,053 I have to play second fiddle to Markie boy and I am tired of it! 143 00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:04,990 - That's not fair. - No! I am tired of it, Mark. 144 00:07:04,992 --> 00:07:07,859 I mean, maybe if I hadn't been shat on for 30 years, 145 00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:10,862 I could've mounted to something. - Maybe you could've been a contender! 146 00:07:10,997 --> 00:07:13,398 - You know what the truth is? The truth is 147 00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:15,533 my life would've been better if you'd never been born. 148 00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:20,004 - What did you just say to me? - I said I wish you were never born! 149 00:07:20,139 --> 00:07:22,139 - Wow! OK. 150 00:07:22,176 --> 00:07:25,744 Well, someone just talked his way out of the cake. 151 00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:27,879 Ah, who am I kidding? You can have the cake. 152 00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:29,914 - I'm allergic to the cake! - Oh! 153 00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:32,149 Thanks, Andy! Really nice. - Ooooh! 154 00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:35,554 Well, it's alright, son. 155 00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:38,089 Take it easy. Take it easy. 156 00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:41,759 - Dad? How did I get here? Where's Mark? 157 00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:43,828 - It's good to see you awake, Mr. Tennesen. 158 00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,764 How are you feeling? - Where is my brother 159 00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:48,766 Where's Mark? - Uh...Andy... 160 00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:51,136 You haven't got a brother 161 00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:54,139 Uh... What's a "mark"? 162 00:08:02,048 --> 00:08:04,916 with some dildos, please just tell me. - Andy, 163 00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:08,686 who are you talking about? - Mark! You know, Mark. Everybody loves him, 164 00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:12,123 he... doesn't have a job, he just kind of floats through life. 165 00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:13,525 - Andrew, please, would you listen to what you're saying? 166 00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:16,528 How would this Mark even sustain a living? 167 00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:19,397 What's more likely is you really hit your head hard 168 00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:21,800 in that accident and you're confused. Alright? 169 00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:23,802 Now, fortunately, I have the cure right here. 170 00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,870 A loving father. 171 00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:27,806 Plus some pills which I'll prescribe. 172 00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:32,244 - I'm glad you're alright. I'll see you soon. 173 00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:36,715 Hey! You got me worried. 174 00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:39,884 Oh, pardon me. 175 00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:42,554 How are we feeling here? Um? 176 00:08:42,556 --> 00:08:44,489 Better? - I'm fine. I just... 177 00:08:44,624 --> 00:08:47,158 You're that potato salesman. 178 00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:49,694 - Hey. - What's going on here? 179 00:08:49,829 --> 00:08:53,098 - Well, you made a wish, Andy. Remember? 180 00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:55,033 - A wish? When... when did I make a wish? 181 00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:58,570 - You wished that Mark had never been born. 182 00:08:58,572 --> 00:09:00,772 And here we are, in a Mark-free world. 183 00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:03,641 Literally. The name Mark doesn't even exist. 184 00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:06,011 You know who invented Facebook in this world? 185 00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:08,513 - No. - Huey Zuckerberg. 186 00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:10,648 - Huey? - He looks the exact same. 187 00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:12,650 He looks... still looks like a... kind of like a deer 188 00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:15,720 that wants to take your soul. You know, with his eyes way over here. 189 00:09:15,855 --> 00:09:17,689 - I don't understand. Wishes don't come true. 190 00:09:17,824 --> 00:09:20,392 - Oh, they do on your birthday. - No, they don't. 191 00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:24,195 - They don't. I'm just messing with you. I'm an angel. - Yeah. You're an angel? 192 00:09:24,330 --> 00:09:28,132 - And I am here to show you what life would've been like had your brother 193 00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:31,469 never been born. So let's just pop those slippies on... 194 00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:35,006 and go on a little adventure. But I should warn you, Andy. 195 00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:37,208 You may not like what you see. - Hold on a second. 196 00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:40,145 So... God is real? - Oh. Uh... 197 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,881 Yeah, we're not gonna... We're not gonna get into all of that. 198 00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:45,884 Let's just say that I'm an angel and we will leave it at that. 199 00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:50,722 - OK. Yeah. - OK? Cool? Yeah. Here we go! 200 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:58,162 - Is this my home? - Sure is. 201 00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:01,099 - Ha! Ha! This is literally out of my dreams. 202 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,835 This is my dream home! - Yeah, well, you designed it. 203 00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:07,705 But look closer and you... you may start to see cracks 204 00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:10,642 in this perfect façade. 205 00:10:10,644 --> 00:10:13,044 - What are these? - Um? 206 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:16,114 - Are these literally awards? - Oh, yeah. 207 00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:18,650 - Oh, my God, is this a Coastie? The award for the best Canadian novel 208 00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,852 from the east or west coast but not the middle? 209 00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:23,187 - Uh... Sure. Man, I don't know. Is that a real thing? 210 00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:26,191 Yeah, I guess that's... Seems to be what it is. 211 00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:29,728 - That must mean I'm a... published author. 212 00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:31,930 The husks of harvests past, 213 00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:34,532 by Andrew C. Tennesen. I did it! 214 00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:37,135 I actually published a novel! Ha! Ha! 215 00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:40,205 What a title! - Yeah. Yeah. You wrote a best-selling novel and yes, 216 00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:43,274 it's been optioned for a movie. - Directed by Tobey Maguire? 217 00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:45,777 I didn't even know he directed. - Yeah, in this reality, 218 00:10:45,912 --> 00:10:47,679 he got into directing instead of acting, 219 00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:50,949 something about Mark being born and the butterfly effect. - Hold on a second. 220 00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:53,818 Molly and I are married? - Yes. 221 00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:56,688 And that's actually a great place to start, because where is she? 222 00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:59,257 You know, why didn't she visit you at the hospital? Um? 223 00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:01,625 Trouble in paradise, that's why. And notice anything 224 00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:04,028 missing here? In this little photo? 225 00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:06,297 Um? - No Mark? 226 00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:08,699 - No Mark. 227 00:11:08,735 --> 00:11:11,569 Just to reiterate, in this reality, 228 00:11:11,605 --> 00:11:14,639 your dear brother Mark does not exist. 229 00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:17,976 This probably seems cool, right? All of this? - Yes! It does! 230 00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:20,411 - Well, think again. I'll show you 231 00:11:20,414 --> 00:11:22,379 how uncool it is 232 00:11:22,416 --> 00:11:24,849 by taking you to your party. 233 00:11:24,984 --> 00:11:28,186 - What party? - Your first birthday party 234 00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:32,390 without your brother. Yes, my friend. 235 00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:34,659 Yes, 236 00:11:34,794 --> 00:11:38,530 I'm referring to a party... 237 00:11:38,665 --> 00:11:41,999 ...without Mark. 238 00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:44,469 F---, dude, I was supposed to do like a... 239 00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:46,805 - You... OK. - One sec. Why the hell 240 00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:49,406 did I do that? I'm trying to do like a magic thing. 241 00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:52,210 Without Mark. Goddamn! One second. Once second. 242 00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:55,613 What did I do wrong? And... Ah! - OK. 243 00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:58,082 - Angel power. Alright. Alright. 244 00:11:58,217 --> 00:12:00,351 - Is it the turn? Are you turning the right way? 245 00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:03,020 - Tut-tut. A party... 246 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,690 I feel good about this one. 247 00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:08,426 ...without Mark. 248 00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:11,629 - Wow! Magic! 249 00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:13,964 OK. 250 00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:16,700 - Enjoy your party, Andy! - Hey, can I get a drink? 251 00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:19,904 - Not a waiter. Not a waiter. 252 00:12:20,039 --> 00:12:22,907 - Andy! How's my favorite client? 253 00:12:23,042 --> 00:12:26,644 Hey, Ruth! Client? 254 00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:29,581 - Good one! Ha! Ha! Ha! But seriously, 255 00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:31,715 if I find out you're looking at other agents, 256 00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:34,118 I will sue you for all you're worth. 257 00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:36,687 This is a great party, by the way. Hey, did you know 258 00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:38,923 that the mayor's here? - Travis? 259 00:12:39,058 --> 00:12:41,960 Butterfly effect. 260 00:12:41,962 --> 00:12:43,995 - ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 261 00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:47,198 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 262 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,868 ♪ Happy birthday ♪ 263 00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:52,270 - To the best damn writer in history! 264 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,672 Eat your heart out, Clark Twain! 265 00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:57,809 - ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 266 00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:01,946 - Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen! 267 00:13:02,081 --> 00:13:05,617 I should like to propose a toast to my one and only son. 268 00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:08,386 There comes a time in every parent's life 269 00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:11,956 when their child must pull away and focus on his own life 270 00:13:12,091 --> 00:13:15,627 and his own career. It can be humbling, 271 00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:18,963 it can be very sad, or so I've heard, 272 00:13:19,098 --> 00:13:21,966 because Andy and I have never been closer. 273 00:13:22,101 --> 00:13:27,037 You are my best friend. I love you, son. And... 274 00:13:27,173 --> 00:13:29,106 to quote a great author... 275 00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,175 "As the husks dry 276 00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:34,178 "and the seeds are scattered by the wind, 277 00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:38,048 "another harvest gives way to the winter. 278 00:13:38,084 --> 00:13:41,185 "But take comfort, friends, 279 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:43,387 for spring is coming." 280 00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:47,458 "The turning of the Earth is all." 281 00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:50,895 - To Andy! - Did I write that? 282 00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:53,831 It's beautiful. - And now, ladies and gentlemen, 283 00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:56,334 we have a rather large carrot cake here, 284 00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:59,670 the best cake in the world. Much better than chocolate! 285 00:13:59,805 --> 00:14:01,739 - Hey, birthday boy! Let's get the party started 286 00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:03,775 if you know what I mean. 287 00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:22,093 - Here you are. 288 00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:28,900 Oh! Gee! Oh! God! - Hey there, Andy. 289 00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:31,169 How's it going? You... You looking for someone else? 290 00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:34,072 - Yeah. I was just... coming out to see this woman that I... - Oh, yeah, yeah. 291 00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:38,376 The woman who isn't your wife? - It's not like I was gonna hook up with her. 292 00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:41,045 - Oh, come on! Yes, you were! I'm an angel! 293 00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:43,982 I know what you were gonna do. So how's the party going? 294 00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:47,852 Um? Having a good time, Andy? - Honestly, it is like the best night of my life. 295 00:14:47,987 --> 00:14:50,821 It's incredible! - Oh, it is? Yeah, what's been your favorite part so far? 296 00:14:50,957 --> 00:14:53,758 Is it almost cheating on your wife? Or maybe hanging out with all those fake friends 297 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,727 who only like you for your fame and your money? 298 00:14:55,862 --> 00:14:58,262 - OK, sure. Fine. Maybe it's not the best behaviour, 299 00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:01,399 but did you see my other life? I mean, that's a requirement-- 300 00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:03,801 - Man, listen to yourself! You wished your brother 301 00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:06,537 out of existence! - Alright, fine! 302 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:10,040 It's not like I killed him, OK? Just... He never existed. 303 00:15:10,176 --> 00:15:12,910 I mean, you could argue that this is just an extension of Kant's categorical imperative. 304 00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:15,980 You know what I mean? Like, if you actually think about it-- 305 00:15:16,115 --> 00:15:18,049 - Shut the f--- up! Shut up! - What? 306 00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:20,084 - Shut your fu----- mouth right now. 307 00:15:20,219 --> 00:15:22,019 - An angel can swear? You're an angel! 308 00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:24,322 - An angel can do whatever the f--- he wants always! 309 00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:26,724 I could kick your dick across the moon, man. 310 00:15:26,860 --> 00:15:29,827 I'm an angel! I do whatever I want! - Fine, you can swear! OK! 311 00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:32,029 Congrats! - And what I want 312 00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:34,966 is to teach you a lesson about how much 313 00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:37,501 you love your brother deep down and somehow, 314 00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:39,670 with all my power, I haven't managed 315 00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:42,707 to get that through your thick, thick skull. Pig! 316 00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:45,510 So, too bad, so sad. We're going back. 317 00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:47,145 - No! - Man, tbh, 318 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,647 I haven't had a lesson go this south on me since Dahmer. 319 00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:52,049 You give a guy one taste of human flesh just to show him 320 00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:54,285 how bad it is... - I am not going back, OK? 321 00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:58,456 - Why would I let you stay here? So you can have sex 322 00:15:58,591 --> 00:16:01,559 with everything that mo... 323 00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:05,763 - You're choking. 324 00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:10,034 Angels can choke? 325 00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:18,042 ♪♪♪Oh, s---. 326 00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:29,253 Just let him die. 327 00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:32,290 - Mr. Tennesen! - It was an accident! It was an accident! 328 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:41,165 Happy birthday! 329 00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,500 Hope I'm not too late for the party? 330 00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:46,170 - You're here for the party? - Yeah. Oh! 331 00:16:46,305 --> 00:16:49,240 Oh, sorry about the cherries. I mean, they just help me 332 00:16:49,375 --> 00:16:52,443 get places fast. - Uh... Come on in! - Alright, alright. 333 00:16:52,578 --> 00:16:55,113 Hold on a minute. 334 00:16:57,884 --> 00:17:00,017 I'll get you your birthday gift. Ha! Ha! You hold right there! 335 00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:01,886 I'll turn these cherries off, get them out of your face. 336 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:05,623 Ho! Ho! Ho! 337 00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:14,632 It's a shovel! - Yeah... 338 00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:17,468 - I mean, now you never know when something like this is gonna come in handy, right? 339 00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:20,071 - It's perfect. - I keep one in my trunk all the time. 340 00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:23,006 Now... Looks to me like you got yourself a big trunk right there, 341 00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:25,676 so why don't you just put it... I mean, you could just put it-- - That's alright. Please. 342 00:17:25,811 --> 00:17:29,447 - I'll just... Why don't we ju-- - You know, I'll... I'll... I'll just... 343 00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:32,950 I'll just put it in, it's OK. - OK! 344 00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:36,254 That's a dead body in your trunk! 345 00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:39,957 It's not real. It's... uh... 346 00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:42,226 I'm sorry! I couldn't come up with a plausible excuse. 347 00:17:42,361 --> 00:17:45,629 Oh, God! I'm sorry! 348 00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:48,833 Hey, buddy, what's up? 349 00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:51,169 - Ruth! Ruth! You gotta help me! The police are after me 350 00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:53,237 and there's a dead body in my trunk. 351 00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,706 - OK, woah, woah, woah. Here's what you need to do 352 00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:57,775 Hang up and delete my number. 353 00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,977 Hello? Ruth? 354 00:18:00,013 --> 00:18:02,513 Damn it! Oh, my God! 355 00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:05,382 I wish I'd never jumped in front of that stupid car! 356 00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:08,920 That's it. The car! 357 00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:12,857 I wish I was back home! 358 00:18:23,002 --> 00:18:26,270 Angel? - No. 359 00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:28,806 You're under arrest for murder, Andrew Tennesen. 360 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:32,609 Say goodbye to your perfect life. - What? No, no, I don't know. 361 00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:36,547 It wasn't me. It was an angel. None of this is me! Aaaah! 362 00:18:40,353 --> 00:18:42,620 - You're OK, son. Just keep going. 363 00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,621 Take it easy out there, Mr. Tennesen. 364 00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:46,557 And happy birthday! 365 00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:09,046 - This is where it all went wrong. 366 00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:13,050 I never should've made that stupid wish. 367 00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:16,520 - So you finally learned your lesson, huh? 368 00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:19,157 Only took you fifteen years. - You... 369 00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:22,126 - Yeah, hey, man. - But I... I watched you die. 370 00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:24,128 - Well, angels can't die, you know. 371 00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:26,063 Certainly not from choking on cake. 372 00:19:26,132 --> 00:19:28,065 I could breathe cake if I wanted to. 373 00:19:28,134 --> 00:19:31,602 Don't want to, but could. Guess your life with Mark 374 00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:34,305 seems pretty cool now, huh? You know, I tried to teach you 375 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,608 all of this in a day, but... I guess some people need fifteen years 376 00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:39,710 behind bars before-- - I'm gonna kill you! 377 00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:43,414 Oh! Oh... - Oh, there he is! 378 00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:47,017 - Andy's back in the room! - Oh... Dad? 379 00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:50,955 Ruth? - Bryn. 380 00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:53,824 - Ah, Bryn! Bryn! 381 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:57,328 I'm young again. I'm young again! 382 00:19:57,463 --> 00:19:59,564 I wouldn't say young. 383 00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:03,100 - Mark! 384 00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:06,103 It's you! I'm so, so sorry for all those terrible things 385 00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:07,972 I said to-- - Get your hands off of me, man. 386 00:20:08,107 --> 00:20:11,108 - It's a miracle! - Yeah, it's a miracle 387 00:20:11,177 --> 00:20:13,310 your brother didn't die when you pushed him 388 00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:15,680 in front of that car. - Yeah, but then I pushed him 389 00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:18,182 out of the way of the car. Not that that makes me a hero. 390 00:20:18,317 --> 00:20:21,118 - It doesn't. No one said that. 391 00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:23,320 - The important thing is you didn't kill your brother, 392 00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:27,892 even though you sort of tried. - I'm sorry. I really am sorry. 393 00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:30,628 - You stay here and think about it. 394 00:20:30,697 --> 00:20:33,731 Meanwhile, let's take Markie for some lovely ice cream. 395 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,934 - OK. I earned it by being good. - Mark! Mark! Mark! 396 00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:40,671 - What? - I really am sorry. 397 00:20:40,806 --> 00:20:44,942 Are you? 398 00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,877 - Yeah. 399 00:20:47,012 --> 00:20:50,715 - Alright. Bring it in. 400 00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:55,686 Oh! What the hell was that doing back there? 401 00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:58,689 OK. 402 00:20:58,824 --> 00:21:00,857 Let's go get that ice cream. - Eh boy! 403 00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:02,893 - See you later, Andy! - Have fun. 404 00:21:03,029 --> 00:21:05,296 - What favor you getting, Bryn? - Plain. 405 00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:11,168 - ♪♪ You can make your life a misery if you try ♪ 406 00:21:11,237 --> 00:21:14,972 ♪ You can take a smile and change it to a sigh ♪ 407 00:21:14,974 --> 00:21:17,975 Closed Captioning by SETTE inc 408 00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:20,177 ♪ Then look beyond the cloud ♪ 409 00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,648 ♪ 'Cause there's an awful lot of sunshine in the sky ♪ 410 00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:29,654 ♪ Yes, there's an awful lot ♪ 411 00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:32,790 ♪ Of sunshine in the sky ♪♪ 33700

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.