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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,103 --> 00:00:04,736 ♪ Just between you and me ♪ 2 00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:07,339 ♪ Baby, I know ♪ - Hey. 3 00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:10,575 You know, you could just try talking to her if you want. 4 00:00:10,644 --> 00:00:12,677 Unless you're just trying to stare at her 5 00:00:12,746 --> 00:00:15,848 until she, I don't know, caves under the weight of your creepy glare. 6 00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:18,283 - Not staring at her. I wasn't-- - Not staring at her? 7 00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:21,086 - I wasn't staring. I was just-- - What are you doing? - There's something on her-- 8 00:00:21,154 --> 00:00:23,588 - I don't care, man. What are we doing this weekend? 9 00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:25,590 - I don't... Well, I mean-- 10 00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:28,193 - Wrong answer, because we, you and I, 11 00:00:28,261 --> 00:00:30,295 are going to Charlottetown to see... 12 00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:33,932 Laverne! - What the hell is Laverne?! 13 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,901 - Laverne the Incredibilist! The greatest hypnotist 14 00:00:35,969 --> 00:00:37,836 in the history of the Maritimes? Remember, 15 00:00:37,904 --> 00:00:41,873 ♪ You seldom forget Laverne ♪ - "Seldom"? 16 00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:43,809 - Yeah, wasn't the most confident slogan. 17 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:46,745 - Mark, I don't want to go to Charlottetown and see some weird hypnotist 18 00:00:46,813 --> 00:00:48,747 make people think they're chickens or whatever. 19 00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:50,882 - He doesn't make people think they're chickens, Andy. 20 00:00:50,951 --> 00:00:53,352 He makes them think they crapped their pants. 21 00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:56,321 - Is that it? That's the only thing he does? - He doesn't need to do 22 00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:58,390 anything else. - I'm gonna take 23 00:00:58,458 --> 00:01:01,259 a hard pass on that. I'm-- - You are insane, man. 24 00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:04,429 We will make a whole day of this. Do you hear what I'm saying? 25 00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:06,598 - Yeah... - Get to Charlottetown, we go eat COWS ice cream, 26 00:01:06,666 --> 00:01:08,767 best in the Maritimes, then we go to Charlottetown's 27 00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:11,870 Empire State Building, now eight stories high! 28 00:01:11,938 --> 00:01:14,005 And then if there's time before Laverne, we go watch 29 00:01:14,008 --> 00:01:15,640 Confederation Times. You heard of this? 30 00:01:15,643 --> 00:01:17,275 - No. - It's a live show 31 00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:19,945 where the original fathers of Confederation duke it out 32 00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:22,047 with old-timey weapons while you and I eat 33 00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:24,116 big ol' turkey legs. 34 00:01:24,184 --> 00:01:26,751 - OK, fellas... Whoa, 35 00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:29,621 is that Laverne? - Oh yeah, yeah! You know him? 36 00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:32,991 - AAAH! He is like my favourite hypnotist of all time. 37 00:01:33,059 --> 00:01:35,327 - You like multiple hypnotists?! - I always wanted to see him, 38 00:01:35,395 --> 00:01:38,230 but he never came to Cavendish. 39 00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:41,300 - Well, we are going to see him in Charlottetown this weekend. 40 00:01:41,368 --> 00:01:43,135 If you want to join us... - Mark-- 41 00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:45,570 - Shush , shut up! - Oh! Oh! Well, 42 00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:48,373 Jacob's with his dad this weekend. But I was gonna build a little hunting blind, 43 00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:50,375 see if I can't finally take down that squirrel 44 00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:52,277 that's been ransacking my bird feeder. 45 00:01:52,345 --> 00:01:55,013 I'm gonna take his eyes when I get him. - What? Why his eyes? 46 00:01:55,081 --> 00:01:56,715 - Then again, this does sound more fun, so I'm in. 47 00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,550 - Great news! 48 00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:01,753 Great! Great. 49 00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:04,623 - ♪ Di-da di-da di-da di-da di-da di-da ♪ 50 00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:10,061 - Mark, can we just not do this? I'm not going. 51 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,131 - Come on, Andy, we are going to see 52 00:02:12,199 --> 00:02:14,433 the best hypnotist in the history of the Maritimes, 53 00:02:14,501 --> 00:02:16,635 and you're gonna have a whole day to spend time 54 00:02:16,703 --> 00:02:18,703 getting to know Molly. - I already know Molly doesn't 55 00:02:18,706 --> 00:02:21,440 like me, I don't want to be any more humiliated, so no. 56 00:02:21,508 --> 00:02:23,775 - Hey, where's this negativity coming from? 57 00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:25,644 - Me! That's who I am. 58 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:28,213 - Well, not today, it's not, OK? Today, you're New Andy, 59 00:02:28,281 --> 00:02:30,715 Confident Andy, Good Andy, the kind of Andy 60 00:02:30,718 --> 00:02:32,851 with all those special talents I know about 61 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:34,886 that any woman would love. 62 00:02:34,955 --> 00:02:37,222 Talents that include writing... 63 00:02:40,393 --> 00:02:42,827 - Trying to think of a second compliment for me, aren't you? 64 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:44,996 - Wrong. I'm actually rethinking the first one 65 00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:47,532 because I said you could write, but then I was like, 66 00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:50,669 "Can he write?" Never actually seen any evidence of that. 67 00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:53,305 - That's great. Thank you so much, Mark. - Anyway. 68 00:02:53,373 --> 00:02:56,041 - Why are you bringing so much stuff? Charlottetown is like 69 00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:58,243 30 minutes away. This is supposed to be like a day trip. 70 00:02:58,311 --> 00:03:00,111 - Hey, it's a road trip, Andy. 71 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,180 And besides, you'll be thanking me when you get hungry 72 00:03:02,249 --> 00:03:04,683 at minute 10, and I just so happen to have a cooler full of 73 00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:06,618 deviled eggs. 74 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,587 Haha! Oh, one sec. 75 00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:10,556 - Where are you going? - I gotta get my passport 76 00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:13,692 and my travel pillow. - It's 30 minutes away! 77 00:03:19,065 --> 00:03:22,034 - Oh, my gosh, guys, I cannot tell you how exciting this is. 78 00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:24,436 Anyone want an egg? Molly, nice egg? 79 00:03:24,504 --> 00:03:27,205 - Molly? Everything OK, Molly? 80 00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:29,775 - Yeah! Yeah, I guess I'm just a little nervous. 81 00:03:29,843 --> 00:03:32,911 Never been to the big city before. 82 00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:35,614 Oh, uh... technically, I-I-I went to Moncton 83 00:03:35,682 --> 00:03:37,916 with my uncle, but we didn't make it out of the bus station. 84 00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:39,751 - What happened? - He died. 85 00:03:39,819 --> 00:03:41,786 Got hit by a couple of buses. 86 00:03:41,789 --> 00:03:44,223 - Sorry, "a couple of buses"? - First bus knocked him 87 00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:46,725 into the second bus. Third bus finished him off. 88 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:49,694 - So three buses, OK. Well, if that's what you're worried about, Molly-- 89 00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:52,130 - That is not all that I am worried about. 90 00:03:52,198 --> 00:03:54,132 - What else are you worried about? 91 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:57,135 - The muggings, the murders, the roving gangs! 92 00:03:57,203 --> 00:03:58,803 - There's no roving gangs in Charlottetown 93 00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:01,306 because Charlottetown is not "the big city," alright? 94 00:04:01,374 --> 00:04:03,475 It's got an entire population of... 95 00:04:03,543 --> 00:04:05,243 What's the population, Andy? - 36 000. 96 00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:08,280 - 36 000, Molly! That's it, 36 000 people! 97 00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:11,817 - Christ! Imagine the sound of all those mouths chewing 98 00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:14,119 and swallowing at the same time. - Yeah, imagining 99 00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:16,221 one mouth doing that would be horrifying, 100 00:04:16,290 --> 00:04:18,957 so instead let's imagine all the fun we're gonna have 101 00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:23,662 and then stop imagining that because... we are here. 102 00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:25,631 - ♪♪ Good friend ♪ 103 00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:30,268 ♪ It's been a long time ♪ 104 00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:33,839 ♪ Since I've seen you ♪ 105 00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:36,074 ♪ Oooh ooh ooooh ♪ 106 00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:41,179 ♪ These days ♪ 107 00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:44,949 ♪ We know nothin' ♪ 108 00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:48,287 ♪ Just a memory ♪ 109 00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:51,123 ♪ Of youthful days ♪ 110 00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:55,860 ♪ Ooooh ♪ 111 00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:59,164 ♪ Oooh oooh oooh oooooh ♪ 112 00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:03,735 ♪ Oooh ooooooh ♪ 113 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,804 ♪ Oooh ooh oooh oooh ♪ 114 00:05:07,407 --> 00:05:09,274 ♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪♪ 115 00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:11,877 - Crazy! When John A. McDonald smoked Joseph Howe 116 00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,912 with that mace, I was like, "What?!" 117 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:16,514 - Ohhh! And then, when Thomas D'Arcy McGee 118 00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:19,150 cut off Ambrose Shea's arm with that broadsword, 119 00:05:19,153 --> 00:05:21,153 I thought my head was gonna explode. 120 00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:23,355 - Hell yeah, you guys. Well, if you thought that was good, 121 00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:26,891 just wait until we take in the hypnotic stylings 122 00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,893 of Eastern Canada's favourite 123 00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:31,162 aging hypnotist. - I honestly can't wait. 124 00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:33,398 - Aaah! - Hahaha! 125 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,834 - Um, what's wrong? - Oh, nothing. Just thought 126 00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:38,236 that the Playhouse was supposed to be around here, 127 00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:43,141 but can't seem to get a signal anymore, so... 128 00:05:43,209 --> 00:05:45,143 - Are you sure this is the right area? 129 00:05:45,211 --> 00:05:47,646 It seems a bit rough. - Nah, 130 00:05:47,714 --> 00:05:49,981 I think we're probably close. Let's keep going. 131 00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:53,518 Let's just keep... keep going. 132 00:05:56,523 --> 00:06:00,058 - Alright, we definitely have to turn around, this is not the way to the Playhouse. 133 00:06:00,127 --> 00:06:02,127 - Relax, we still got plenty of time 'til the show. 134 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,162 Besides, we did turn around 10 minutes ago. 135 00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:06,398 - What?! - Yeah, OK, we're quite lost. 136 00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:08,400 I don't know what you want me to say. But it's gonna be fine. 137 00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:12,070 - It's not fine! - What is fine about this? - It's going to be fine. 138 00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:14,038 - Sorry, it's going to be fine. - It will be fine. 139 00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:16,941 - Where are we? Where are we, Mark? - I don't know that! 140 00:06:16,944 --> 00:06:19,177 - Dear God, this is exactly what I knew would happen. 141 00:06:19,245 --> 00:06:22,280 Now I'm gonna get kidnapped by a drug dealer and forced to steal cars. 142 00:06:22,348 --> 00:06:24,616 - I don't even know what you're referencing anymore, Molly. 143 00:06:24,684 --> 00:06:27,386 - Come on, Mark! - Oh, you get that?! 144 00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:29,454 - Yes. City Fears! City Fears! - City Fears, Mark. 145 00:06:29,456 --> 00:06:32,190 - City Fears?! - Don't be dumb! - Don't be dumb, Mark! 146 00:06:32,258 --> 00:06:34,893 - "Don't be dumb"? You say that I'm being dumb?! "Shayyshhh! 147 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,695 Shayyyshhh!" 148 00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:39,330 Both of you, "shaysh!" - "Shaysh"? 149 00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:42,834 - Now you leave this to me, and I will find a way to... 150 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:45,570 There we go. Look at that. Look at that. 151 00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,439 - What? - Ask and ye shall receive. 152 00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:49,741 A fellow man. - No. 153 00:06:49,809 --> 00:06:51,643 - A man who I'm going to ask for directions. 154 00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:54,412 - Mark... Mark, no, no, no. Don't, don't, don't. - Oh no! 155 00:06:54,415 --> 00:06:57,215 - I'm pretty sure he's not a drug dealer who's gonna force me to steal cars, 156 00:06:57,283 --> 00:06:59,484 if that's what you're afraid of. Leave it to me. 157 00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:02,187 Uh, excuse me, sir. 158 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,222 I was hoping you could give me some directions. 159 00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:08,993 - Oh, dear God! - Oh, no, no, no, no, no! 160 00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:10,796 - That's the face of a demon. That's a demon, man, 161 00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:14,266 and he's reaching for something. Let's go! Pick it up! Let's go! 162 00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:24,509 Just calm down and forget all about that guy 163 00:07:24,577 --> 00:07:26,578 and the way that he sounded. - You still hear his breathing? 164 00:07:26,646 --> 00:07:28,413 - I'm gonna forget it. - Yeah, yeah, we're all gonna 165 00:07:28,482 --> 00:07:30,415 be hearing that breathing for a long time. 166 00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:32,650 But that's fine because he's not there, and we're in here, 167 00:07:32,719 --> 00:07:36,054 so we're good. We're more 168 00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,789 or less good. 169 00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:41,459 Alright, come on, come on. 170 00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:43,528 Hi, everyone! 171 00:07:43,596 --> 00:07:45,964 Nice place. 172 00:07:46,032 --> 00:07:47,599 Hi there. 173 00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,434 Got a quick question for you. 174 00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:52,437 - Order first, then ask questions. 175 00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:54,839 - Makes sense. OK, you guys know what you want? 176 00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:57,242 - What's your house red? - What?! 177 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:58,943 - Jesus, Andy! We'll just get three beers, please. 178 00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:01,813 So now that we have ordered, here's my little query-- 179 00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:04,148 - How the hell do we get out of Charlottetown? 180 00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:06,551 - Not what I was gonna ask. We're going to the Playhouse; 181 00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:08,953 do you know how to get to the Playhouse? - The Playhouse, eh? 182 00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:12,190 You wouldn't happen to be seeing... 183 00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:14,192 Laverne, would you? 184 00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:15,894 - Yes. 185 00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:18,663 - I knew it! Yes! 186 00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:21,132 He is terrific, isn't he? 187 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:22,967 The way that he makes people think 188 00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:25,837 that they crapped their pants? Mwah! 189 00:08:25,905 --> 00:08:27,672 - Yeah, we like him a lot. - Big fans. 190 00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:30,241 - The Playhouse is real close. 191 00:08:30,244 --> 00:08:32,677 I've got a map, I'll show it to you. 192 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,313 - OK, sounds great. Mmm! Mmm! 193 00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,183 - Mark, don't leave us here. - What's the problem? 194 00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:41,152 I'm gonna be right over there. Just talk 195 00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:43,187 to Molly. Don't be a coward, come on. 196 00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,897 Ooh. 197 00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:55,000 Scary place, huh? 198 00:08:56,503 --> 00:09:00,204 - So, we're here. - OK. 199 00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:03,008 - And the Playhouse is there. Pretty close! 200 00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:05,710 - So we must have taken the wrong turn going up there. 201 00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,913 And what's this area we're in right now called? 202 00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:10,915 - Old Charlottetown. - Old Charlottetown. 203 00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:13,251 - It's mostly pretty nice people around here, except for the gangs. 204 00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:16,487 - Oh, there are gangs? There are gangs around... gangs around here? 205 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,356 - Oh yeah. Swarms of 'em. 206 00:09:18,424 --> 00:09:21,359 - "Swarms." - And all with their own esthetic theme. 207 00:09:21,427 --> 00:09:23,428 Trashies, Dirtrags, 208 00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:25,797 Scarlet Letters. Technically, 209 00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:29,701 they all have their own turf, but they tend to rove. 210 00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:34,673 - Roving gangs, great. OK, well, I am gonna keep 211 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:37,275 that information from those two over there 'cause 212 00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:39,877 they might freak out. - Ah, don't be afraid. 213 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,847 They won't hurt you unless you cross 'em or they feel like it. 214 00:09:51,691 --> 00:09:54,092 - Hey, do you know what I was thinking of the other day? 215 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,194 Mrs. Finley. Remember her? 216 00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,663 - No. - Our third-grade teacher, 217 00:09:58,731 --> 00:10:00,765 remember her? She always used to say, uh, 218 00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,767 "Pencils down." Remember that? 219 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:05,203 - Every teacher says that. 220 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,405 - Yeah, but she would kind of like emphasize 221 00:10:07,473 --> 00:10:10,008 the "down" part. "Pencils down!" 222 00:10:10,076 --> 00:10:12,677 - No. No, I don't remember. 223 00:10:12,745 --> 00:10:15,780 - Maybe it was the "pencils" part that she hit. 224 00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,615 It's hard to... I can't do it like her, 225 00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:20,352 but it was pretty... pretty weird. 226 00:10:22,321 --> 00:10:24,889 Anyway, she's probably dead now. - Hey, guys! 227 00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:26,924 So I just spoke with, as it turns out, 228 00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:29,360 very weird bartender, and she said that the Playhouse 229 00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:31,463 is like five minutes away, so let's go. Let's go now. 230 00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:33,798 - Actually, we're probably gonna finish our drinks because-- 231 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,034 - No, we gotta move now. - I'm working things out with Molly. 232 00:10:36,102 --> 00:10:37,969 - That's great, but we should get going for reasons 233 00:10:38,037 --> 00:10:40,071 that I'm gonna explain later. - Pardon me, gentlemen. 234 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,607 - Oh! OK, well, hmmm... that's one of them. 235 00:10:42,675 --> 00:10:45,276 - Don't let us interrupt the good times. 236 00:10:45,344 --> 00:10:48,813 - A roving gang. - Yes, it turns out there are roving gangs. I am so sorry. 237 00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,815 - Looks like you guys are having fun, eh, Nitro? 238 00:10:50,883 --> 00:10:52,684 - Oh yeah, Doyt. 239 00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:55,853 Looks like everyone's blowing off some steam. 240 00:10:55,922 --> 00:10:59,424 - Yeah. Uh, well, the three of us were actually just on our way out, so-- 241 00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,359 - Oh yeah? Yeah, you got plans with friends? 242 00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:04,295 That's nice. You're gonna go goof around, have a laugh? 243 00:11:04,363 --> 00:11:06,130 - Something like that. - Yes, sort of. 244 00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:07,965 - Well, that's nice. I like that. 245 00:11:08,034 --> 00:11:10,301 Love to laugh. - Hmm! 246 00:11:10,369 --> 00:11:12,837 - Nitro, tell 'em a joke. 247 00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:15,539 - Just so happens I have a joke here in my pocket. 248 00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:21,379 - you! - OK. 249 00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:23,815 - I got a joke too. Knock, knock. 250 00:11:23,883 --> 00:11:26,284 - Who's there? - Boom. 251 00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:30,488 It's the middle finger again. Boom, it's gone. 252 00:11:30,556 --> 00:11:32,423 - OK. 253 00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:35,426 - Obviously, it's very clear that we all love jokes. 254 00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:39,297 Except for when those jokes 255 00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:42,667 happen to be at the expense... 256 00:11:42,736 --> 00:11:46,137 of my good friend Douglas. 257 00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:48,673 - Oh, hell... 258 00:11:48,741 --> 00:11:51,009 You see, 259 00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:53,745 Douglas has a condition. He's asthmatic, 260 00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:55,747 and he's also got some throat things that makes it 261 00:11:55,815 --> 00:11:58,916 very noisy when he breathes. It's no biggie, 262 00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:01,786 but he's just very self-conscious about it. 263 00:12:01,854 --> 00:12:04,255 Which is why it pained me to learn 264 00:12:04,323 --> 00:12:07,158 that some out-of-towners were making little comments. 265 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:10,562 Douglas, are these the people that mocked you? 266 00:12:12,466 --> 00:12:15,533 Yeah. 267 00:12:15,601 --> 00:12:17,368 - It's just his voice. 268 00:12:17,437 --> 00:12:20,071 - That's how he talks. Listen, Douglas, 269 00:12:20,139 --> 00:12:24,242 we are so, so sorry for any hurt we caused you. 270 00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:26,644 Maybe we could buy you a drink-- - A drink?! 271 00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:29,247 You think you can come into our territory, 272 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,249 Vesties territory, 273 00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:34,452 and buy your way out of this with a drink? 274 00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:36,420 - You want me to waste these guys, Doyt? 275 00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:39,023 - Wait, wait, wait, wait. Doyt, please, the three of us 276 00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:40,992 are actually quite nice if you just get to know us. 277 00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:44,129 - What did you just call me? - I called you Doyt. Is Doyt... 278 00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:47,165 Is your name not Doyt? - My name is Dirt. 279 00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:50,902 Are you making fun 280 00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:53,605 of my friend Nitro's speech impediment now? 281 00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:56,407 - Nooo. No. 282 00:12:56,475 --> 00:12:58,476 - Mark is not. - Oh, boy, 283 00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:01,946 you really like making fun of other people's problems, don't you? 284 00:13:02,014 --> 00:13:05,150 - That is not true at all. That's two coincidences in quick succession. 285 00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:07,285 - Maybe I can give you a little condition 286 00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:11,556 that we can all laugh at. A little knife-itis. 287 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,825 Wait. Wait. 288 00:13:13,893 --> 00:13:16,594 - Whoa! Whoa! - Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa! 289 00:13:16,662 --> 00:13:20,431 - Let him go now! Nobody hurts my friends in my bar! 290 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,767 - Oh, my God! She's lifting him by his goddamn neck! 291 00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:25,670 - Let's go, guys! Thank you, scary lady! 292 00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:30,675 - Standing up for your friends, that something I can respect. 293 00:13:30,743 --> 00:13:34,178 Alright, gang... let's get 'em outside! 294 00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:36,314 She doesn't have jurisdiction over the streets. 295 00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:38,016 Let's go, whoo! - Let's go! 296 00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:50,261 - OK. OK. Slow down for a second. I feel like I'm gonna... 297 00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:52,196 - Did we lose 'em? - Hello? 298 00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,766 - No. - OK, over here. 299 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,868 Over here. Over here. 300 00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:59,070 - Hey! - I can see you over there! 301 00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:04,408 Oh, I'm a police officer by the way. 302 00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:06,611 - Sir, you are a real lifesaver. 303 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,613 I mean, I knew we were gonna be OK, but you are 304 00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:11,282 concrete evidence of that. - Oh, no sweat. 305 00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:14,318 You know, I'm mostly here just to stop people from breaking into parked cars. 306 00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:17,755 So I had my eye on you. But, well, then you guys looked 307 00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:20,525 like you needed some help, so I thought, you know, help you. 308 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,293 - Yeah, we were tracking all that, thanks. 309 00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,395 - So where are you all headed? - Back to the tourist zone 310 00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:26,797 and then as far away from the town as possible. - Or, or... 311 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:29,767 how far are we from the Playhouse, sir? 312 00:14:29,769 --> 00:14:32,503 - Mark, if we don't head back to the tourist zone right now, 313 00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:35,806 I will murder you myself. - Molly, you might want to think 314 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,109 twice about threatening me in front of an officer of the law. 315 00:14:38,177 --> 00:14:40,311 - Oh, I don't mind, I'm pretty easygoing. 316 00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:42,246 But, you know, if you're looking for the Playhouse, 317 00:14:42,315 --> 00:14:44,248 I have some great news for you. You're already there. 318 00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:46,150 - What? What do you mean? 319 00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:48,319 - This is the Playhouse's parking garage. 320 00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:50,288 Look, there's an elevator right over there. 321 00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:52,256 It takes you up to the foyer. 322 00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:54,792 - Oh, my goodness! Would you look at that! 323 00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:56,727 I told you this city was alright. 324 00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:58,596 Ohhh... 325 00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:01,666 - Hello again. - OK, never mind. 326 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,668 The city is garbage. Get in the car! Get in the car! 327 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:06,070 - OK! - 0h no! You three pissed off 328 00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:08,139 the Vesties?! - Yes, we did! So get in the car 329 00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:10,841 right now, please! - Oh no. The Vesties run 330 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,743 this area. I'm sorry, but you're on your own. 331 00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:14,946 - What the hell are you talking about?! Get in the car! 332 00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:16,948 - Please don't judge the entire Charlottetown police service 333 00:15:17,016 --> 00:15:19,283 based on my actions. I'm a coward! 334 00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:23,688 Destroy the car! Do what you want to them! Just let me live! 335 00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:26,024 - That is a very bad police officer. 336 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:30,695 - OK. Um, what... what do we do here? 337 00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,697 Do we... do we run? - We're surrounded, 338 00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:35,299 we can't run. - I'm done running. 339 00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:36,901 - What do you mean, you're done running? 340 00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:38,903 We hunters have a saying, 341 00:15:38,971 --> 00:15:41,038 "Hunt or be hunted." 342 00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:44,175 I'm not gonna let this big city hunt me anymore. 343 00:15:44,243 --> 00:15:46,210 It's time to hunt back. 344 00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:48,312 - "It's time to hunt back"? 345 00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:50,247 - Maybe we should talk to them. This is probably 346 00:15:50,316 --> 00:15:52,216 a talking situation. - Guys like that only understand 347 00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:55,787 one language... violence. 348 00:15:57,390 --> 00:16:00,224 Fortunately... 349 00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:03,461 ...I'm bilingual. 350 00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:05,730 - Holy smokes! - That was awesome! 351 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,732 - Yeah, that was really well put. 352 00:16:10,669 --> 00:16:13,671 - Remember us? Dirt, Nitro, 353 00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:16,407 bunch of other gang members who have minor defects 354 00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:18,409 I'm sure you'd love to point out. 355 00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:22,947 - My gosh! - OK. 356 00:16:23,015 --> 00:16:25,216 OK, that's... that's how she's gonna do it. 357 00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:28,019 She's just gonna beat the out of everyone. 358 00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:33,758 - We should probably get out there. - Yeah, yeah. 359 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,760 It's just... I feel like she's got training. 360 00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:37,695 - Absolutely. Yeah, she does. 361 00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:39,597 - She's demonstrating that. - We don't. 362 00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:41,899 - We, a hundred percent, do not. - Definitely do not. 363 00:16:41,901 --> 00:16:43,968 - OK, big guy's coming in! The big boy! 364 00:16:43,970 --> 00:16:47,238 - We're clearly saying she has got a handle on this. 365 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,807 - For her, she's like, "They're not even bothering to 366 00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:52,309 leave the car, that's how much confidence they have in me." 367 00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:55,713 - Yeah. - "And that makes me feel good, and that makes me fight better." 368 00:16:59,251 --> 00:17:01,118 - For some reason, they're attacking her one at a time, 369 00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:03,120 and she seems to be able to handle that. 370 00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:06,590 - Yeah. It's honourable of them, I guess. 371 00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:08,726 - Or they just... they just don't have strategy. 372 00:17:08,794 --> 00:17:10,728 It's their weakness at the top. 373 00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:14,398 - Did I say, "One at a time"? Everybody at once! - Come on! 374 00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:16,467 - I could do it, but I have the neck thing. 375 00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:17,968 Let's go! - Come on! 376 00:17:17,971 --> 00:17:20,271 - Oh, they got her. - Oh, they got her. 377 00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:22,607 - They did get her. - Oh! Ugh! 378 00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:26,777 - Well, that was pretty good, but I'm afraid that you are-- 379 00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:29,313 GODDAMN IT! OUCH! 380 00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:31,148 Oh, my God! Do you have 381 00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:33,784 her yet?! Get her out of here! Hold her 382 00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:35,553 by her fists! 383 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,488 Jeez! 384 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:40,124 Alright, fellas, you can come out now. 385 00:17:40,192 --> 00:17:42,526 - Here they come for us. That's good. 386 00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:44,962 - Should we try and fight them? No. Don't know why I said that. 387 00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:47,298 - Yes, why did you even say that? That's insane. 388 00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:49,233 - We're coming, we're coming. - We're coming, OK. 389 00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:51,135 We're good, we're good, we're good. Or you can grab us. 390 00:17:51,203 --> 00:17:54,505 - You guys were so brave in there. You were brave. 391 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,440 You two were brave. Just equal. 392 00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:58,776 Everybody, so brave. 393 00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:01,212 Haha! But I'm sorry 394 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,214 because this ends right now. 395 00:18:03,282 --> 00:18:06,217 - Wait! Dirt, let her go. 396 00:18:06,285 --> 00:18:07,985 - Andy, what the hell are you doing? 397 00:18:08,053 --> 00:18:10,020 - You're right, Mark, I'm a coward, 398 00:18:10,023 --> 00:18:11,989 but like Molly said, "I'm done running." 399 00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:14,058 It's time to do what's right. 400 00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:16,727 Molly, I love you. 401 00:18:16,795 --> 00:18:18,896 - Oh, my God! - Or I really like you. 402 00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:21,065 Or I would like to get to know you. 403 00:18:21,133 --> 00:18:23,033 We're probably gonna die tonight; 404 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,669 before we do, I wanna show you how I feel. 405 00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:28,272 So, Dirt... 406 00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:33,244 ...let's do this man to man. Throw down your knife 407 00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:35,346 and put up your fists, 408 00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:39,617 so I can suck your ass in front of your friends. 409 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,890 - I'm sorry, did you just say 410 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,826 you were gonna suck my ass? 411 00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:51,829 - What? No. What? When? 412 00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:55,399 - You just said you were gonna suck my ass in front of my friends. 413 00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:57,034 - No, I didn't, I didn't. I said kick. 414 00:18:57,103 --> 00:18:59,970 - You definitely just said suck. "I'm gonna suck your ass 415 00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:01,939 in front of your friends." 416 00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:04,642 Who heard that? - That's what I heard. 417 00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:06,277 - Did I... did I say that? - Yeah. 418 00:19:06,345 --> 00:19:08,646 - You misspoke. You misspoke, 419 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,648 - and you're a loser. - Enough! 420 00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:15,219 - Laverne! 421 00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:18,055 - You will leave these three alone. 422 00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:21,192 You will return to the place from whence you came 423 00:19:21,194 --> 00:19:23,661 and bother strangers no more. 424 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,863 From this day forward, 425 00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:30,067 compassion, not violence, shall guide you. 426 00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:34,872 - Well, I don't know what that was, but... 427 00:19:34,941 --> 00:19:37,541 you're Laverne, the Incredibilist, 428 00:19:37,610 --> 00:19:39,410 right? Are you not him? You're him. 429 00:19:39,478 --> 00:19:41,612 - Oh, my God! One time, I saw you 430 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:43,814 hypnotize these two strangers into thinking they crapped 431 00:19:43,882 --> 00:19:45,983 each other's pants. 432 00:19:46,051 --> 00:19:48,886 - Thank you. I like that bit a lot. - I may be out of line 433 00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:50,955 in asking this, Mr. Laverne, but, ahem, 434 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,990 I would very much like your autograph. 435 00:19:53,058 --> 00:19:55,893 - Of course. Do you have a pen? - Ooh, um-- 436 00:19:55,962 --> 00:19:58,329 - Uh-oh! Yes, it appears... 437 00:20:00,566 --> 00:20:02,166 ...you do. 438 00:20:02,234 --> 00:20:03,801 - Whaa... 439 00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:07,271 - There you go. One for you. 440 00:20:07,339 --> 00:20:10,474 And one for you! 441 00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:12,977 - Thank you, Laverne. - Always happy to meet the fans. 442 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:16,580 - I feel like a little kid again, I really do. Thank you! - Bye, Laverne! 443 00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:19,617 Now, may I 444 00:20:19,685 --> 00:20:21,318 interest you three in a performance 445 00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:23,187 that audiences seldom forget? 446 00:20:25,090 --> 00:20:27,124 - Oh! Oh! And then when Andy was on stage, 447 00:20:27,193 --> 00:20:29,593 and he kept saying, "I made a stinky." 448 00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:32,330 I thought I was gonna die. 449 00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:35,699 - That was amazing! - You know, it is not funny 450 00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:37,668 to make people do things against their will. 451 00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:39,136 And you know what? If I see Laverne again-- 452 00:20:39,204 --> 00:20:41,872 - What? You'll threaten to suck his ass? 453 00:20:41,874 --> 00:20:44,408 - Oh, my God! I forgot that was tonight too. 454 00:20:44,476 --> 00:20:46,677 "Put up your fists or 455 00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:48,712 I'll suck your ass in front of your friends!" 456 00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:51,182 - It's right! That's right! - OK, new rule: 457 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,417 no talking 'til we get home. 458 00:20:53,485 --> 00:20:57,288 - Oh, my God! Oh, you have had quite a night, Andy. 459 00:20:57,290 --> 00:21:00,291 Hey, Molly, remember when Andy said he loved you? 460 00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:02,493 - Yeah. What do you love about me, Andy? 461 00:21:02,495 --> 00:21:04,428 You barely know me. 462 00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:08,966 - ♪♪ You can make your life a misery if you try ♪ 463 00:21:09,034 --> 00:21:12,703 ♪ You can take a smile and change it to a sigh ♪ 464 00:21:12,705 --> 00:21:15,706 Closed Captioning by SETTE inc 465 00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:17,875 ♪ Then look beyond the cloud ♪ 466 00:21:19,578 --> 00:21:21,445 ♪ 'Cause there's an awful lot of sunshine in the sky ♪ 467 00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:27,451 ♪ Yes, there's an awful lot ♪ 468 00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:30,521 ♪ Of sunshine in the sky ♪♪ 37862

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