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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,440 Previously on Bartlett. 2 00:00:01,700 --> 00:00:02,700 He is risen. 3 00:00:03,020 --> 00:00:04,380 I don't think chickens are funny. 4 00:00:04,580 --> 00:00:05,620 It doesn't have to be a chicken. 5 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:07,280 I think chickens are hilarious. 6 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:14,140 The ladies of Khan and Partners call you the swinging dick. And I kind of like 7 00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:16,120 that. I know you're angry. I quit. 8 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:20,000 Khan, I need the Porsche. You have not seen her for a year and you think you 9 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:23,700 just bossing her? I think she can help me smooth over a problem. Why would you 10 00:00:23,700 --> 00:00:27,900 want to thank me? I hired you. Best thing that ever happened to me. 11 00:00:28,580 --> 00:00:29,580 Surprised? 12 00:00:29,839 --> 00:00:30,839 Not really. 13 00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:34,900 Now turn your head and look at the order menu. 14 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:36,740 Now reach out and touch it. 15 00:00:42,820 --> 00:00:44,000 Now I feel stupid. 16 00:00:44,220 --> 00:00:48,700 All right. The future always feels stupid at first. Oh, shit. I just 17 00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:49,700 thousand mouse pads. 18 00:00:49,780 --> 00:00:53,020 We still sell mouse pads? Okay, it's still being tweaked. It's in beta. But 19 00:00:53,020 --> 00:00:55,380 are inside of your brand, right? 20 00:00:55,930 --> 00:00:57,150 now. Isn't that amazing? 21 00:00:57,710 --> 00:00:58,970 This is too tech for us. 22 00:00:59,230 --> 00:01:00,230 Too tech. 23 00:01:00,290 --> 00:01:02,930 You're still called Computer City, right? 24 00:01:03,470 --> 00:01:05,050 Alright, has Maggie seen this? 25 00:01:05,830 --> 00:01:09,810 Maggie? Has she seen... It's a good question. Is it? 26 00:01:10,230 --> 00:01:13,750 Because Sanjay Khan was in here and he gave the distinct impression that she 27 00:01:13,750 --> 00:01:14,750 working for him now. 28 00:01:15,470 --> 00:01:17,510 Alright, have you been lying to us? 29 00:01:18,030 --> 00:01:22,250 Maggie has virtually been a part of every... We're going to need to have an 30 00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:23,250 internal discussion for this. 31 00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:26,060 Okay, just make sure you include Ted, because he loves this. 32 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:28,440 I love this. 33 00:01:28,580 --> 00:01:29,580 Oh, wait, you don't want to stand up. 34 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:31,520 Ted? 35 00:01:34,540 --> 00:01:35,540 You okay? 36 00:01:37,780 --> 00:01:38,780 We'll be in touch. 37 00:01:46,060 --> 00:01:47,060 Can I come in? 38 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:51,400 Yeah, Roger's here. I gotta go. 39 00:01:53,180 --> 00:01:57,080 Yeah. Okay. I love you, too. Is that Sanjay? Hey, buddy, it's Raj. 40 00:01:57,420 --> 00:01:59,080 Hope it's cool I'm here with you to love her. 41 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:00,440 Okay, okay. 42 00:02:00,460 --> 00:02:01,460 Bye, Mom. 43 00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:05,620 Sorry, the I love you part threw me off. 44 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:07,820 Love always throws you off. 45 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:11,020 Marianne will appreciate my fighting spirit. 46 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:14,600 Why does every relationship have to be an epic struggle for you? 47 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:17,340 Because I'm a lover and a fighter. 48 00:02:17,740 --> 00:02:19,000 And not very good at either. 49 00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:24,420 It says a focus group of one. Which is still statistically relevant. 50 00:02:31,660 --> 00:02:33,480 What happened out here? 51 00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:36,500 Wow. 52 00:02:37,580 --> 00:02:40,740 Oh. You still have the glockenspiel I gave you. 53 00:02:40,980 --> 00:02:41,978 Oh, yeah. 54 00:02:41,980 --> 00:02:43,000 Do you want that back? 55 00:02:43,420 --> 00:02:44,640 No, I gave it to you. 56 00:02:45,460 --> 00:02:47,240 Oh, I thought you might want to give it to Caitlin. 57 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:49,400 Caitlin? 58 00:02:49,630 --> 00:02:51,310 Why would I want to give it to Caitlin? 59 00:02:53,190 --> 00:02:54,230 Must be Wednesday. 60 00:02:54,630 --> 00:02:55,630 Put the bear down. 61 00:02:56,330 --> 00:02:57,330 Oh. 62 00:03:01,650 --> 00:03:05,690 There's a guy downstairs getting acupuncture on his labradoodle and 63 00:03:05,690 --> 00:03:06,668 doing your laundry? 64 00:03:06,670 --> 00:03:10,290 I could have the Blanche -A -Seuss do it. Did you just say Blanche -A -Seuss? 65 00:03:10,450 --> 00:03:12,670 But I need some authenticity in my life. 66 00:03:13,550 --> 00:03:17,270 Well, maybe start by not saying Blanche -A -Seuss and... 67 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:20,370 Don't live in a building that's basically a millennial theme park. 68 00:03:20,590 --> 00:03:24,770 If I get invited to one more fucking UX design meetup, I'm moving to Portland. 69 00:03:28,530 --> 00:03:29,530 Bob? 70 00:03:33,690 --> 00:03:34,690 Roger? 71 00:03:50,540 --> 00:03:54,660 across that wasteland of mobile signals, fibre optics and digital switches to 72 00:03:54,660 --> 00:03:57,540 reach award -winning creative director Roger Newhouse. 73 00:03:57,780 --> 00:04:02,740 For a decade, he's been helping brands find their true voice. At The Tone, tell 74 00:04:02,740 --> 00:04:04,360 him how he can help you find yours. 75 00:04:06,460 --> 00:04:10,600 Roger, where are you? We're running out of time and you need to call me. 76 00:04:12,060 --> 00:04:14,800 And change your voicemail. You sound like a twat. 77 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:18,160 Oh, God. 78 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:19,560 Where am I? 79 00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:26,450 What? I cannot believe how comfortable this sofa fort is. 80 00:04:27,750 --> 00:04:28,750 Where's Roger? 81 00:04:28,850 --> 00:04:30,390 I thought he'd be back by now. 82 00:04:30,630 --> 00:04:31,630 Well, he's not back here. 83 00:04:33,030 --> 00:04:35,170 Why are you behind the couch? 84 00:04:35,410 --> 00:04:36,410 I needed a nap. 85 00:04:37,550 --> 00:04:39,370 This sofa fort is incredible. 86 00:04:39,830 --> 00:04:40,910 I was out in seconds. 87 00:04:41,650 --> 00:04:44,410 Oh, and a dream I had. 88 00:04:46,450 --> 00:04:48,210 Here's your coffee and your sandwich. 89 00:04:48,570 --> 00:04:50,430 A tall African thingy? Yeah. 90 00:04:58,720 --> 00:04:59,720 Excellent day. 91 00:05:01,060 --> 00:05:06,580 It was chicken this, chicken that. Praise be the Lord. You asked for meat 92 00:05:06,580 --> 00:05:08,820 they gave you chicken. You're not taking this seriously. 93 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:12,360 Well, we were young and stupid once, right? It's all part of the cycle. 94 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:16,940 Are you staring at my underwear? 95 00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:20,880 They're right in front of me. They're very late. I'm not going to stop doing 96 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:24,920 laundry because you showed up. Okay, fine. I'll close my eyes and pretend 97 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:28,380 you're wearing... Fuck it. How does Bob deal with you? That poor man. 98 00:05:28,740 --> 00:05:31,400 I'm the one on the chopping block. Because you lost four clients. 99 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:36,440 Those clients were either too scared, too blind, or too cheap. Do not blame 100 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:41,140 clients. That is so tacky. It is every creative director's God -given right to 101 00:05:41,140 --> 00:05:42,140 blame the clients. 102 00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:45,670 Well, it doesn't get you any jobs back, does it? I will get all of those jobs 103 00:05:45,670 --> 00:05:47,210 back when we win Pear. 104 00:05:48,990 --> 00:05:49,990 We? 105 00:05:50,770 --> 00:05:52,130 It's just you, Roger. 106 00:05:55,890 --> 00:05:56,890 Fuck, 107 00:05:58,510 --> 00:05:59,510 this sandwich is good. 108 00:06:00,290 --> 00:06:01,550 Oh, you better give me your shirt. 109 00:06:02,450 --> 00:06:06,170 What, did I get something? No, it's just properly wrinkled, and there's a place 110 00:06:06,170 --> 00:06:07,930 on the corner that will clean it while I wait. 111 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:14,420 You should come to New York with me. 112 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:17,700 Are you joking? 113 00:06:18,660 --> 00:06:19,660 You've got guts. 114 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:21,780 I need people like you. 115 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:25,740 I don't have guts. I'm just trying to survive. 116 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:27,720 Sure. 117 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:33,380 Oh, we should have your trousers, too. 118 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:35,800 You want me to take my pants off? 119 00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:38,000 I'm sure you get asked that all the time. 120 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,000 The dream I had. 121 00:06:41,390 --> 00:06:42,390 In a sofa fort. 122 00:06:43,550 --> 00:06:46,850 A vision of a new kind of ad agency. 123 00:06:47,650 --> 00:06:48,650 Clean. 124 00:06:49,530 --> 00:06:51,510 Efficient. Transparent. 125 00:06:52,230 --> 00:06:55,450 As everything you care about in Andy Baker doesn't. 126 00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:57,550 Pants. 127 00:06:58,710 --> 00:06:59,710 I don't know. 128 00:07:00,950 --> 00:07:02,690 Tell me this isn't about loyalty. 129 00:07:03,230 --> 00:07:05,170 Loyalty? To Roger. 130 00:07:05,710 --> 00:07:09,650 What about your loyalty to Roger? That man has tried everything to live up to 131 00:07:09,650 --> 00:07:10,730 that stupid promise. 132 00:07:11,310 --> 00:07:12,850 Let me show you something. 133 00:07:17,650 --> 00:07:21,230 I've been carrying this around for a very long time. 134 00:07:25,670 --> 00:07:26,670 That's you. 135 00:07:26,770 --> 00:07:27,770 And Thomas. 136 00:07:27,970 --> 00:07:30,550 Meet advertising's first gay power couple. 137 00:07:31,330 --> 00:07:35,930 After that issue came out, people started telling Thomas it was okay to be 138 00:07:35,930 --> 00:07:37,530 in this business, but not black. 139 00:07:38,170 --> 00:07:39,310 He left me. 140 00:07:40,490 --> 00:07:41,670 Before the year was out. 141 00:07:42,450 --> 00:07:44,870 That's what I think of loyalty. 142 00:07:46,070 --> 00:07:47,090 I'm so sorry. 143 00:07:48,470 --> 00:07:49,510 But you know what? 144 00:07:54,930 --> 00:07:56,170 What are you doing? 145 00:07:56,550 --> 00:07:57,550 Just a second. 146 00:08:01,530 --> 00:08:02,710 A fresh start. 147 00:08:02,990 --> 00:08:03,990 Hip hip. 148 00:08:08,350 --> 00:08:11,480 Um. That should really go in the recycling, though. 149 00:08:16,140 --> 00:08:19,280 Ooh, bubbly water. Can I actually have... So in the last ten minutes, 150 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:23,300 confused my mother, mentally fondled my intimates, and insulted all of her 151 00:08:23,300 --> 00:08:24,300 former clients. 152 00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:28,280 Can we just deal with the elephant in the room? More like an albatross around 153 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:29,280 neck. 154 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:30,920 The answer is still no. 155 00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:34,980 Maggie, please. You're not good for me. I have changed. 156 00:08:35,299 --> 00:08:39,820 No, you haven't. In fact, I cannot believe how much... You haven't changed. 157 00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:43,840 still have my Pilates balls, my book, my desk. 158 00:08:44,220 --> 00:08:45,960 Surface. I needed surfaces. 159 00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:47,680 Wait, what's happening? 160 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:52,400 Could it be that folding laundry is more compelling than your bullshit? 161 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:55,020 Okay, all right. I'm sorry. 162 00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:59,200 My therapist says I'm holding you hostage. 163 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:03,840 In my head. I'm not... I wasn't here to... Wait, you have a therapist? 164 00:09:04,620 --> 00:09:05,620 Yeah. 165 00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:07,240 Since when? 166 00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:08,580 For about a year now. 167 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,200 Like since I left the agency? 168 00:09:11,820 --> 00:09:12,820 Since you left me. 169 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:19,280 She's good. She says, Roger, you've got to find ways to give Maggie rooms to 170 00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:22,880 escape. Build doors, windows, staircases. 171 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,360 Your therapist sounds like a contractor. 172 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:27,300 She charges like one, too. 173 00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:31,820 So how do you feel right now? 174 00:09:33,820 --> 00:09:34,820 Honestly? 175 00:09:36,330 --> 00:09:37,330 A little vulnerable. 176 00:09:38,930 --> 00:09:39,930 Good. 177 00:09:41,390 --> 00:09:42,390 Good. 178 00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,250 Good. 179 00:09:44,630 --> 00:09:45,630 Okay. 180 00:09:48,610 --> 00:09:49,670 Andy Baker speaking. 181 00:09:49,950 --> 00:09:51,130 Bob Freeman here. 182 00:09:51,570 --> 00:09:56,990 Bob, you better be calling to tell me you've impaled Roger's head on a fucking 183 00:09:56,990 --> 00:09:59,430 spike outside the office. Shut up, Andy. 184 00:09:59,790 --> 00:10:00,790 Excuse me? 185 00:10:01,030 --> 00:10:05,570 I've had a vision of a harmonious ad agency. 186 00:10:06,270 --> 00:10:09,650 The free flow of performance centers. Transparent promotion schedules. 187 00:10:10,750 --> 00:10:14,210 Daily calisthenics and hot yoga. 188 00:10:14,650 --> 00:10:17,630 You're describing a Japanese car factory. 189 00:10:18,110 --> 00:10:23,030 Then call me Fremont -san. Because I'm going to make Agency NYC purr. 190 00:10:24,510 --> 00:10:26,410 Like a fucking Honda Civic. 191 00:10:26,770 --> 00:10:27,870 If you still have a job. 192 00:10:28,430 --> 00:10:29,750 Oh, I have a job. 193 00:10:30,670 --> 00:10:31,710 Your job. 194 00:10:37,130 --> 00:10:38,390 Do you keep it in a box? 195 00:10:38,690 --> 00:10:39,690 Fuck you, Bob. 196 00:10:41,370 --> 00:10:42,830 Change is coming, Andy. 197 00:10:43,190 --> 00:10:46,050 Fast and deadly. Like a freight train in the night. 198 00:10:46,390 --> 00:10:47,870 Choo -choo, trick bitch. 199 00:10:48,450 --> 00:10:49,449 Choo -choo. 200 00:10:49,450 --> 00:10:52,610 Okay, great. I really think this could work. Okay, right. Sit down. 201 00:10:53,850 --> 00:10:54,850 Okay. 202 00:10:55,610 --> 00:10:56,610 I need to think. 203 00:11:03,690 --> 00:11:05,290 You know what used to help you think? 204 00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:08,910 Jam out. 205 00:11:45,870 --> 00:11:51,270 I was one of the ones You 206 00:11:51,270 --> 00:11:57,650 were Not that endless one 207 00:11:57,650 --> 00:12:03,930 That's alright I still believe 208 00:12:07,210 --> 00:12:10,050 And you're brilliant. 209 00:12:11,170 --> 00:12:12,510 And you're brilliant. 210 00:12:13,050 --> 00:12:14,050 I'll work on it. 211 00:12:14,090 --> 00:12:15,090 Stop. 212 00:12:17,630 --> 00:12:18,730 Raise your right hand. 213 00:12:20,470 --> 00:12:21,730 Why? Just do it. 214 00:12:24,530 --> 00:12:25,530 Okay. 215 00:12:27,150 --> 00:12:33,650 Do you, Roger Mallory Newhouse, promise to honor, 216 00:12:33,850 --> 00:12:36,110 respect, and especially obey me? 217 00:12:36,810 --> 00:12:39,310 For the next five hours. 218 00:12:39,530 --> 00:12:40,990 I do. I really do. 219 00:12:43,790 --> 00:12:44,790 Fine. 220 00:12:45,310 --> 00:12:47,410 I'll do it. Seriously. Really? 221 00:12:49,650 --> 00:12:52,470 I don't know how much we can get done in five hours. Sure, sure. 222 00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:55,530 Maybe some ad -libs, style guide. 223 00:12:55,750 --> 00:12:56,529 Style guide. 224 00:12:56,530 --> 00:12:57,429 TV script. 225 00:12:57,430 --> 00:12:58,430 Yeah. 226 00:12:58,590 --> 00:13:00,010 Script. Two. 227 00:13:06,430 --> 00:13:07,430 Yeah. 228 00:13:07,590 --> 00:13:09,090 Let's do it. 229 00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:12,570 The thing, the... Should I bring my guitar? 230 00:13:12,850 --> 00:13:13,829 No, you can't. 231 00:13:13,830 --> 00:13:14,830 Okay. 232 00:13:15,030 --> 00:13:16,550 I can just do acapella. 233 00:13:22,730 --> 00:13:24,450 Really bought more coffee? 234 00:13:25,050 --> 00:13:27,030 Yeah. How do you work this day? 235 00:13:27,270 --> 00:13:29,650 Oh, that stuff's rubbish. Anyway, we really should be getting you dressed. 236 00:13:32,370 --> 00:13:33,990 Where is Roger? 237 00:13:34,590 --> 00:13:35,930 I don't know, but we've got hours. 238 00:13:36,490 --> 00:13:39,330 What happens after we run out of hours? 239 00:13:39,990 --> 00:13:42,950 Rule number five, Bob. Make everything look deliberate. 240 00:13:43,330 --> 00:13:47,330 What? Okay. So, we go down to Per Computer. 241 00:13:47,890 --> 00:13:50,050 We do the pitch, as is, together. 242 00:13:51,050 --> 00:13:52,270 It's a Bob and Caitlin show. 243 00:13:53,470 --> 00:13:57,890 That is simultaneously inspired and insane. 244 00:14:02,150 --> 00:14:03,350 This is... 245 00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:08,060 Amazing? I was going to say inspired, but yes, amazing too. 246 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,000 Of course, because it was my idea. 247 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:13,700 Sometimes I just need to mobilize my passion. 248 00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:16,560 You are a very clever man. 249 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:17,800 I'd hope you'd remember. 250 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:20,800 And we still have 90 minutes to spare. 251 00:14:21,740 --> 00:14:22,740 Hmm. 252 00:14:24,860 --> 00:14:25,860 Hmm. 253 00:14:26,420 --> 00:14:27,420 Hmm. 254 00:14:29,020 --> 00:14:32,220 We... We should celebrate, don't you think? 255 00:14:33,100 --> 00:14:36,500 I probably shouldn't have a drink, especially when I beat traffic on 101. 256 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:37,920 No, we shouldn't have a drink. 257 00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:40,920 It's not Tuesday or Thursday. 258 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:42,200 Okay. 259 00:14:45,420 --> 00:14:48,000 Um, I don't... Okay. 260 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:49,880 Sure. 261 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:51,960 Mm -hmm. Okay. 262 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:56,820 It's time for the Bob and Caitlin show. 263 00:15:15,939 --> 00:15:17,380 Next time on Bartlett. 264 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,460 My stuff is right here. Sorry, hon. This is kidnapping. 265 00:15:20,780 --> 00:15:22,520 No, this is the express to pair computer. 266 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:24,200 Aha! 267 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:25,319 Ha what? 268 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,900 Try and blackmail me again until David wrote it. 269 00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:29,260 I'll have it killed. 270 00:15:29,420 --> 00:15:31,620 Roger, this is your severance package. 271 00:15:31,980 --> 00:15:34,820 What is this, by the way? Is this like a new lesbian romance? No! 272 00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:37,420 God, you're in Enoch Bartlett too. 273 00:15:37,700 --> 00:15:38,700 Enoch not. 274 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:40,080 They all cried. 275 00:15:40,420 --> 00:15:42,620 Enoch Bartlett would a great big liar. 276 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:46,320 Southern Wilson's game, hella brass and then fire. Tickle Williams, make it 277 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:47,820 yours, and then call you style. 18900