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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,420 Previously on Bartlett. 2 00:00:02,100 --> 00:00:03,039 Where's Roger? 3 00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:05,020 It looks like a bodega blew up in here. 4 00:00:05,220 --> 00:00:06,320 He's sleeping here every night. 5 00:00:06,620 --> 00:00:09,280 No. What the hell are you doing behind the sofa? 6 00:00:09,580 --> 00:00:12,960 Sofa fort. You promised to take care of our clients. Cross your heart and hope 7 00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:13,559 to die. 8 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:16,379 We got blankets, pillows, half a box of Malamar. 9 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:19,760 What happened, Roger? I can't figure it out. Talk to Maggie. 10 00:00:20,380 --> 00:00:23,340 Sometimes I just need to mobilize my passion. 11 00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:25,000 Are these all your clients? 12 00:00:25,700 --> 00:00:28,200 Yeah. They must be really good. They look so happy. 13 00:00:28,670 --> 00:00:30,410 I only take pictures of the happy ones. 14 00:00:37,690 --> 00:00:39,410 What the hell is that? 15 00:00:40,710 --> 00:00:41,710 Someone's outside. 16 00:00:43,690 --> 00:00:48,090 So, last night... I hope I didn't disappoint. 17 00:00:49,130 --> 00:00:54,970 No, but when you invited me to see your million -dollar car collection, I didn't 18 00:00:54,970 --> 00:00:55,970 think you were the mechanic. 19 00:00:57,420 --> 00:00:58,460 Sorry for the confusion. 20 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,120 This is Hans talking. 21 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:09,500 I know it's early, but I need the blue badge. 22 00:01:10,220 --> 00:01:11,400 Yeah, yeah, Roger. 23 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,100 Please, one moment. 24 00:01:15,180 --> 00:01:16,920 Why are you talking like that? 25 00:01:18,100 --> 00:01:19,640 I'm selling a dream, baby. 26 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:22,560 You know, the reliable yet exotic German mechanic. 27 00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:29,680 I like you too. 28 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:43,420 Raja, my friend. 29 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:46,800 Hans, um... Come in, yeah. 30 00:01:47,060 --> 00:01:49,960 Are you sure I can... Yeah, this is good. 31 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:51,800 Is it? Because you're naked. 32 00:01:52,100 --> 00:01:54,980 I am assuming this is about a lady? 33 00:01:55,460 --> 00:01:56,460 Yeah. 34 00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:59,840 Met her a few weeks ago at work, and I think there's something happening 35 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:00,840 us. You think? 36 00:02:01,020 --> 00:02:04,040 There's maybe another guy or guys I asked around. 37 00:02:04,620 --> 00:02:06,820 No one in this league. 38 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:09,160 Do not worry. 39 00:02:09,300 --> 00:02:12,780 These men will cry like babies when they see the Blue Banshee. 40 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:16,160 Your father was a great man. To leave you his honor. 41 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:21,860 Not really a great man, but he died. 42 00:02:23,300 --> 00:02:24,300 Yeah. 43 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:27,800 Good for you. Yeah. 44 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,680 Oh, so this is where you're all hiding. 45 00:02:37,980 --> 00:02:40,340 Hey, you can't just barge in here, Maggie. 46 00:02:40,620 --> 00:02:44,660 Never leave the reception desk unattended, Caitlin. Surely that rules 47 00:02:44,660 --> 00:02:45,539 top ten. 48 00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:46,540 I'm a seven, actually. 49 00:02:47,140 --> 00:02:48,460 How did you get past security? 50 00:02:49,540 --> 00:02:50,540 I walked. 51 00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:52,580 I thought she was on the list. 52 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:53,659 What list? 53 00:02:53,660 --> 00:02:55,580 The persons of interest list. 54 00:02:56,030 --> 00:02:57,030 Oh, how notorious. 55 00:02:57,390 --> 00:03:01,490 There isn't really a persons of interest list I made that up to make you feel 56 00:03:01,490 --> 00:03:02,930 better. It worked. 57 00:03:03,210 --> 00:03:05,370 Bob, I thought you said I wouldn't be seeing Roger today. 58 00:03:05,650 --> 00:03:08,850 Oh, out by 10 and by 11. Was that your plan? 59 00:03:09,210 --> 00:03:10,990 Who else am I going to replace him with? 60 00:03:11,570 --> 00:03:13,810 Maggie is the right man for the job. 61 00:03:14,030 --> 00:03:16,930 I'm not replacing anybody. I said I'd come in and talk. 62 00:03:17,210 --> 00:03:20,550 It's a formality. If Maggie wants to talk, we should. You stay out of this. 63 00:03:20,550 --> 00:03:21,550 in the middle of this. 64 00:03:21,650 --> 00:03:23,250 And you need to go. 65 00:03:23,910 --> 00:03:28,070 really have to put my foot down as the only account executive in this office. I 66 00:03:28,070 --> 00:03:31,190 just feel like... Maybe it'd be easier. 67 00:03:33,910 --> 00:03:35,170 Okay. I'm going. 68 00:03:39,590 --> 00:03:42,890 You see, Bob, this firing people thing isn't so easy. Shut up. 69 00:03:44,350 --> 00:03:45,970 Maggie, I thought you wanted this. 70 00:03:46,670 --> 00:03:48,570 I don't even know what this is, Bob. 71 00:03:48,930 --> 00:03:51,810 People say you don't even have clients anymore, which can't be true. 72 00:03:53,630 --> 00:03:54,630 Oh, my God. 73 00:03:54,970 --> 00:03:56,830 But the bones. The bones are good. 74 00:03:57,170 --> 00:04:00,330 What bones? The carpeting? The brand, the network. 75 00:04:00,550 --> 00:04:04,170 I'll give you everything you need to reboot this entire agent. 76 00:04:04,430 --> 00:04:07,030 Actually, I'm already working on that. Oh, really? 77 00:04:07,590 --> 00:04:11,490 Unless you plan on building a fucking time machine to go back and fix this, 78 00:04:11,610 --> 00:04:15,430 there's... Time is all I need. No, no, no, no, no. This is not a wonderful 79 00:04:15,510 --> 00:04:18,810 The building alone is foreclosed. Clarence isn't getting his wings, and 80 00:04:18,970 --> 00:04:20,450 George Bailey... 81 00:04:23,340 --> 00:04:24,340 Remind me later. 82 00:04:24,780 --> 00:04:28,460 No, you said you'd call him in ten minutes. Scout's bleeping on us. 83 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:31,200 Fuck! 84 00:04:31,660 --> 00:04:32,800 I need some privacy. 85 00:04:33,820 --> 00:04:35,820 Hey, Andy, how are you? 86 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,540 So you finally made it to Cali? I finally made it. 87 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:44,820 We lost a few good men to typhoid and cannibalism. Shut up, Bob. 88 00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:46,780 Has Newhouse been eliminated? 89 00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:50,380 It really creeps me out when you talk like that. Is the deed done? 90 00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:51,980 No, I've only been here an hour. 91 00:04:54,090 --> 00:04:57,350 I guess I'm just not the professional hitman you thought I was. 92 00:04:58,790 --> 00:05:02,650 Roger, this is really tacky. There was a Christmas fire sale at Fisherman's 93 00:05:02,650 --> 00:05:04,990 Wharf. They were practically giving them away. Poor tree. 94 00:05:05,370 --> 00:05:06,690 Well, we lost the plant guy. 95 00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:09,090 Mike? 96 00:05:09,630 --> 00:05:11,950 Mike was the plant guy. Mike, right. 97 00:05:12,210 --> 00:05:13,650 Yeah, Ken was the IT guy. 98 00:05:13,990 --> 00:05:15,490 Wendell was the security guy. 99 00:05:15,730 --> 00:05:17,270 Okay, I'm not good with names. 100 00:05:17,770 --> 00:05:19,090 Oh, is that your problem? 101 00:05:20,010 --> 00:05:22,430 I'm the first to admit, you were better than me. 102 00:05:22,860 --> 00:05:25,720 Our star. Our bright, shining star. 103 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:31,960 Lighting the way forward. And then one day... No star. I knew it. 104 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:35,740 You blame this whole mess on me. No, it's a compliment. 105 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:40,820 Okay. So if we're trading compliments, then you were my anchor. 106 00:05:41,580 --> 00:05:43,080 Always weighing me down. 107 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:45,420 Hey, I closed those deals. 108 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,860 Yeah. And you took all the credit. 109 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:50,660 Not exactly a fair distribution of wealth. 110 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:52,460 I'm sorry you were so disappointed. 111 00:05:52,740 --> 00:05:55,700 Maybe if there were three of me, you would have been satisfied. 112 00:06:19,500 --> 00:06:25,700 Don't you want to be with me? Cause I want to be with you. 113 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:32,480 I want to be the one. Don't you want to be with me? 114 00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:39,240 Cause I want to be one of the, one of the, 115 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:41,240 one of the one. 116 00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:45,460 You got the man. I got the man. 117 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:48,880 Don't you understand? We could be more than. 118 00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:00,900 Bye. 119 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,000 Bye. 120 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:18,960 Bye. 121 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,000 Society drains all the... 122 00:08:24,940 --> 00:08:27,700 Or in Andy Baker's case, the doughy, balding psychopath. 123 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:35,980 That's your severance packet. If you have any questions, talk to your HR 124 00:08:35,980 --> 00:08:38,340 manager. Would that be Caitlin? 125 00:08:39,380 --> 00:08:40,380 Yeah. 126 00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:43,700 You have five minutes to clear out your stuff. 127 00:08:44,660 --> 00:08:45,800 There goes the family. 128 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:47,160 What family? 129 00:08:47,220 --> 00:08:48,920 He's right. You always said we were family. 130 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:50,039 I lied. 131 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:51,560 No, I think you believed it. 132 00:08:52,540 --> 00:08:55,720 Advertising isn't about treasuring what you have. It's about coveting what you 133 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:58,520 don't. That's not family. That's anti -family. 134 00:08:58,860 --> 00:08:59,860 Well, I'm not leaving. 135 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:01,520 It's not a negotiation. 136 00:09:02,580 --> 00:09:05,640 I have a job to do. Cross my heart and hope to die, remember? 137 00:09:06,180 --> 00:09:08,220 I absolve you of all your promises. 138 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:09,520 Just go, please. 139 00:09:09,780 --> 00:09:12,200 There's something you don't know. I know everything. 140 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:14,000 Au contraire, mon frere. 141 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:17,400 Rod, for fuck's sake, tell him about the pitch. 142 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:19,439 What pitch? 143 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:20,660 The Pi computer pitch. 144 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:25,840 For the new top secret tablet thingamajiggy? Tablets are for Moses. 145 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:29,120 paradigm shift. Or should I say paradigm shift. 146 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:30,500 He's fucking with you, Bob. 147 00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:32,680 I am not. This is a fuck -free zone. 148 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:34,840 Just ask Caitlin. That's rule number three. 149 00:09:36,260 --> 00:09:37,620 Pear is a closed pitch. 150 00:09:37,820 --> 00:09:38,699 Invite only. 151 00:09:38,700 --> 00:09:40,840 I just so happen to know the new head of marketing. 152 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:45,920 Pete and I went to Davis together. We were roommates and co -chaired the D &D 153 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:46,920 club. 154 00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:49,060 32 hit points, gelatinous cube. 155 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:50,860 Pete Wong is Stinky Pete. 156 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:54,360 All I had to do was call up Stinky, remind him I still had the photos of 157 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:56,280 the goat, the salami. We were in like Flynn. 158 00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:58,220 Why didn't you tell me about the pitch? 159 00:09:58,460 --> 00:10:02,140 Because Roger can do it on his own. Boom. How much Kool -Aid are you 160 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:04,080 Caitlin? He's going up against premier agencies. 161 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:08,960 Oh, premier agencies like Khan and Partners. You invited a double agent 162 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:12,240 midst, Bob. I'm not working on that pitch. I haven't even seen it. 163 00:10:12,580 --> 00:10:14,060 Bullshit. You are their best creative. 164 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:15,420 It's Sanjay's pitch. 165 00:10:15,980 --> 00:10:17,380 We don't work on the same project. 166 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,600 Why? Do you threaten him, too? 167 00:10:20,540 --> 00:10:23,820 She does not threaten me. I want to see your pitch. 168 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:25,740 What about Benedict Arnold here? 169 00:10:26,020 --> 00:10:27,420 She's not a double agent. 170 00:10:28,180 --> 00:10:29,280 Go on, my son. 171 00:10:29,540 --> 00:10:30,540 Show him what we did. 172 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:35,120 You might want to take a seat. 173 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:38,380 Things are about to get bumpy. 174 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,380 St. Bernardine, patron of advertising. 175 00:10:42,830 --> 00:10:48,070 Do not call upon you often, but please bestow upon Roger the wisdom to be pure 176 00:10:48,070 --> 00:10:50,110 of message and true of target audience. 177 00:10:51,870 --> 00:10:54,910 There's any number of ways we can go with the narration, but I'm thinking, 178 00:10:54,910 --> 00:10:58,270 know, it kind of builds with internet stars, music stars, and just movie 179 00:10:58,370 --> 00:11:01,250 It goes all over the place. Matthew McConaughey starts it out, you know, 180 00:11:01,250 --> 00:11:06,210 like... All right, this is the freedom to live your dream. And then, boom, we 181 00:11:06,210 --> 00:11:09,810 bring it in with a little bit like Snoop Dogg. Yeah, for cheesy player and 182 00:11:09,810 --> 00:11:13,470 fulfill your destiny. And then, bam, we bring it in with a little bit of like 183 00:11:13,470 --> 00:11:17,590 gravitas, like maybe more like a James Earl Jones kind of thing. This is 184 00:11:17,590 --> 00:11:20,770 Bartlett. And then we stitch together Alan Rickman's, all of his past 185 00:11:20,770 --> 00:11:23,770 recordings, and we get mobilize your passion. 186 00:11:27,030 --> 00:11:28,030 Okay. 187 00:11:28,610 --> 00:11:29,610 Okay. 188 00:11:30,470 --> 00:11:31,570 I like it. 189 00:11:32,140 --> 00:11:33,420 You like it? 190 00:11:33,680 --> 00:11:34,700 It's a start. 191 00:11:35,060 --> 00:11:36,060 A start? 192 00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:39,580 It's bleeding edge. It's hemorrhaging all over the place. 193 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:41,240 What do you think? 194 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:44,620 Someone likes drop shadows. 195 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:45,980 They add depth. 196 00:11:46,260 --> 00:11:47,800 And I counted like six different fonts. 197 00:11:48,060 --> 00:11:49,900 Two, and they're in the same family. 198 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:53,180 But mobile is your passion, Roger. 199 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:55,220 Very clever. 200 00:11:56,260 --> 00:11:58,120 Okay, so where's the rest of it? 201 00:11:58,620 --> 00:12:00,360 The... What? 202 00:12:00,810 --> 00:12:02,190 The meat. He wants to see the meat. 203 00:12:02,710 --> 00:12:06,030 Yeah, this is meat. The appetizer. 204 00:12:06,410 --> 00:12:10,710 But the main course sells it. And you know that, Roger. We need spec scripts 205 00:12:10,710 --> 00:12:12,010 storyboards and ad lobs. 206 00:12:12,250 --> 00:12:14,230 I've got plenty of meat. I'm grilling. 207 00:12:14,470 --> 00:12:16,710 I'm roasting. I'm deep fat frying. 208 00:12:16,950 --> 00:12:20,270 It's going to be an ambrosial smorgasbord of meats. 209 00:12:20,570 --> 00:12:23,890 A charcuterie of deep fat... You're not ready. 210 00:12:25,430 --> 00:12:28,290 You know what? 211 00:12:28,670 --> 00:12:30,870 The pitch is in two hours, so it doesn't even matter. 212 00:12:31,730 --> 00:12:32,730 Two hours? 213 00:12:33,150 --> 00:12:36,250 Yeah. So back off, Bob. I've got this. 214 00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:39,490 Roger. Pete Wong is on line one. 215 00:12:40,150 --> 00:12:42,910 Fuck. It's never good when the client calls. 216 00:12:43,170 --> 00:12:44,170 Relax. 217 00:12:44,350 --> 00:12:45,350 I'll handle it. 218 00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:53,410 Stinky. What? I told you, Roger. Stinky is dead to me. It's Pete. Just Pete. 219 00:12:53,730 --> 00:12:56,330 Good old days die hard. Listen up, brother. 220 00:12:56,730 --> 00:12:57,730 Execute a U -turn. 221 00:12:59,449 --> 00:13:02,650 Seriously? I went to the LA office holiday bash last night and it must have 222 00:13:02,650 --> 00:13:04,030 a good one because I missed my flight. 223 00:13:04,370 --> 00:13:05,370 Sorry to hear that. 224 00:13:05,510 --> 00:13:08,070 It gets better because I totally got lost on my way to Burbank. 225 00:13:08,690 --> 00:13:09,690 Execute a U -turn. 226 00:13:10,030 --> 00:13:12,690 You know what the problem with LA is? There's no fucking landmark. 227 00:13:13,090 --> 00:13:16,770 It's all flat and monochromatic. No wonder this town's obsessed with 3D. 228 00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:19,110 Execute a U -turn. Will you shut up? 229 00:13:20,130 --> 00:13:24,290 Raj, my day is fucked, so we're going to have to reschedule for 6 o 'clock. You 230 00:13:24,290 --> 00:13:25,209 can do that, right? 231 00:13:25,210 --> 00:13:28,370 Yeah, yeah, of course, of course. We'll make it work. Good. 232 00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:31,770 Ciao, muchacho. Remember, Stinky is dead to me. 233 00:13:33,470 --> 00:13:35,490 Jesus Christ, there's a chicken in the road. 234 00:13:38,710 --> 00:13:41,450 Okay, so we've got eight hours. 235 00:13:42,090 --> 00:13:43,090 Ha! 236 00:13:45,570 --> 00:13:48,030 Christmas has come early, Maggie. 237 00:13:48,770 --> 00:13:50,110 I know it makes you tick. 238 00:13:50,410 --> 00:13:52,050 The challenge, the pressure. 239 00:13:52,550 --> 00:13:53,770 Sign this contract. 240 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:55,520 And you get it all. 241 00:13:55,700 --> 00:13:57,720 Okay, but this is my crusade. 242 00:13:58,020 --> 00:13:59,020 Your what? 243 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:00,460 My Charlemagne. 244 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:05,460 Those empty desks out there. Those desks are the gravestones of my fallen 245 00:14:05,460 --> 00:14:09,040 comrades waiting to be... Damn it. 246 00:14:09,260 --> 00:14:14,720 Waiting to be avenged. And I will do the avenging. You develop the pitch on my 247 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:19,000 time. I'll decide who leads it. No, Roger's right. I can't work on it if he 248 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:22,100 doesn't want me to. Of course you can. I can't. Really? 249 00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:28,200 Roger, believe it or not, I am trying to show you some respect. 250 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:30,080 Can I borrow you for a minute? 251 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:32,400 Margaret, 252 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:33,920 no. 253 00:14:34,660 --> 00:14:36,280 Why are you stalling? 254 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:39,460 I'm not stalling. Well, then you're overplaying your hand. 255 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:42,420 No, I'm not. We have one shot at this, Roger. 256 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:48,620 What does Sir Richard Branson say about opportunity? 257 00:14:51,060 --> 00:14:52,060 Opportunity is awesome. 258 00:14:52,620 --> 00:14:53,620 No. 259 00:14:54,350 --> 00:14:57,670 If someone offers you an amazing opportunity and you don't know how to do 260 00:14:57,750 --> 00:15:00,910 you say yes, and then you learn to do it later. 261 00:15:01,530 --> 00:15:04,930 Right. Yeah. You know this one. 262 00:15:05,390 --> 00:15:10,670 Get in here. 263 00:15:11,730 --> 00:15:17,350 We each have something to prove to this shitty, unforgiving, unappreciative 264 00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:18,350 business. 265 00:15:19,150 --> 00:15:21,230 It could be the kismet of faith. 266 00:15:21,900 --> 00:15:25,860 or the folly of coincidence, but whatever the reason, and despite all our 267 00:15:25,860 --> 00:15:31,980 differences, we should grab this opportunity by the feet and milk it. 268 00:15:33,060 --> 00:15:36,040 So, what do you say? 269 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:44,400 No. Next time on Bartlett, we've got to find you a 270 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,040 team and put some meat on this pitch. 271 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:48,500 What? We hope we are the answer to your prayers. 272 00:15:49,980 --> 00:15:51,660 Guys, can we check in real quick? 273 00:15:51,940 --> 00:15:53,760 A pair of computer pictures is a shit show. 274 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:55,080 This is terrible. 275 00:15:55,500 --> 00:15:59,440 I really need your help. We do not work on the same project. That is your rule. 276 00:15:59,700 --> 00:16:00,840 I know you want this. 277 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:03,260 What you're actually saying is you want this. 278 00:16:03,740 --> 00:16:05,800 No, no, our needs are intertwined. 279 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:08,719 Don't you believe? 280 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:09,720 Yes! 281 00:16:24,010 --> 00:16:26,650 I wanna, baby, wanna. 20597