All language subtitles for 50_central_s01e10_ballin_on_a_budget

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,640 The curse words in this message have been approved by 50 Cent. 2 00:00:03,060 --> 00:00:04,060 Bitch. 3 00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:08,700 Hey, here's a favorite rapper, Deposit, out here. Living life lavish as usual. 4 00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:10,740 Ballin' on your fools like LeBron. 5 00:00:11,020 --> 00:00:12,220 Cause I ballin' like that. 6 00:00:14,020 --> 00:00:16,540 Ballin' like that. Hey, hey, hey. I ballin' like that. 7 00:00:17,940 --> 00:00:18,940 What? 8 00:00:19,740 --> 00:00:23,680 You see, every day is a day off when you're living your life like a movie. 9 00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:27,360 I saw this fly -ass pool here from when I'm not recording. 10 00:00:27,580 --> 00:00:28,980 Here I got something to lay on. 11 00:00:29,450 --> 00:00:32,229 Something to sip on. And later, something to poke on. 12 00:00:32,590 --> 00:00:33,990 Hey! Who the hell are you? 13 00:00:34,610 --> 00:00:36,030 Get in the pool before I call the cops! 14 00:00:41,310 --> 00:00:43,550 Damn kid. 15 00:00:46,610 --> 00:00:48,510 Hey, man. It's your boy D -Positor here. 16 00:00:48,710 --> 00:00:51,330 Pull -up game strong as shit. You see what I got behind me? 17 00:00:51,530 --> 00:00:54,550 See, when you pull up in one of these, you know you set the spot off right. 18 00:00:54,850 --> 00:00:57,270 Hey, what should I take? The BMO or the band? 19 00:00:57,869 --> 00:00:59,430 The beamer or the beans. 20 00:00:59,670 --> 00:01:02,290 You're not going to be taking either, buddy. You need to get your buns off 21 00:01:02,290 --> 00:01:03,810 car right now before I call the authorities. 22 00:01:05,290 --> 00:01:06,290 Hello, 911. 23 00:01:06,490 --> 00:01:07,550 I'd like to report an assault. 24 00:01:07,910 --> 00:01:10,530 No, not on a person, on a luxury automobile. 25 00:01:11,250 --> 00:01:12,850 A black man just sat on it. 26 00:01:13,750 --> 00:01:15,470 It's ruined. It's ruined. 27 00:01:16,390 --> 00:01:17,550 Every day like a lottery. 28 00:01:17,750 --> 00:01:19,470 Every day like a lottery. 29 00:01:19,730 --> 00:01:21,490 Every day like a lottery. 30 00:01:22,350 --> 00:01:24,690 Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's coming off my new mixtape. 31 00:01:24,990 --> 00:01:27,410 Big dreams in small places. Every day like a lottery. 32 00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:31,430 You see, the thing that I did was... Yo, can we go? I put the address in the app 33 00:01:31,430 --> 00:01:32,309 ten minutes ago. 34 00:01:32,310 --> 00:01:34,810 Oh, yes, ma 'am. What's the holdup? I'm sorry. 35 00:01:40,270 --> 00:01:41,270 What? 36 00:01:41,930 --> 00:01:42,930 What? 37 00:01:43,750 --> 00:01:44,750 What? 38 00:01:47,790 --> 00:01:48,790 Stimulate your mind. 39 00:01:50,090 --> 00:01:53,230 Stimulate your mind. Oh, man, it's my voice. Be positive right now. 40 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:54,440 Yo, he's a hot young rapper. 41 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:55,920 Killing it in the game, baby. 42 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:59,720 Deposit? Please, you need to deposit that track into the garbage because that 43 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:00,720 shit is trash. 44 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:04,020 Okay, you know what? You're being mad disrespectful right now. I'm going to 45 00:02:04,020 --> 00:02:05,020 to ask you to leave. No! 46 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:07,260 You're going to take me to Brooklyn because I'm late for happy hour. 47 00:02:07,540 --> 00:02:08,540 Okay, okay. 48 00:02:08,660 --> 00:02:10,960 And put your damn phone down before you kill us both. 49 00:02:14,140 --> 00:02:15,380 All right, all right. 50 00:02:16,140 --> 00:02:17,140 Okay. 51 00:02:24,510 --> 00:02:25,790 I don't know. 52 00:02:28,030 --> 00:02:31,370 I'm the one these pros want. I've been keeping that dough. 53 00:02:33,890 --> 00:02:34,950 I'm on something. 54 00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:38,510 That's not coming. 55 00:02:41,090 --> 00:02:42,330 You know what's up. 56 00:02:44,830 --> 00:02:45,830 Yeah, yeah. 57 00:02:48,739 --> 00:02:49,980 Yeah, it's Rick. I'm up. Yeah. 58 00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:53,400 Yeah, it's Rick. I'm up. 59 00:02:56,780 --> 00:02:58,260 Give it up for 50 Cent. 60 00:03:01,380 --> 00:03:08,380 Welcome to another episode of 50 61 00:03:08,380 --> 00:03:11,920 Central. Give it up for Houston's own DJ JQ. 62 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:17,500 From fresh stand -up to a fun -looking political correctness. 63 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:20,480 We got another wild one for you. Vince, Tristan, come out here. 64 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:27,440 What's up, y 'all? 65 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:32,480 I ain't bringing nothing until I get paid. 66 00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:36,320 Come on, chill out, bro. Come on. No, no, no, not you, Phil. I mean, I've seen 67 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:37,420 your work on power, so you good. 68 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:40,600 What I mean is Tristan owes me money. 69 00:03:41,050 --> 00:03:41,689 Oh, Pam. 70 00:03:41,690 --> 00:03:44,050 Yo, yo, yo, wait, hold on, hold on. I told you I got you on my check, Claire. 71 00:03:44,110 --> 00:03:46,930 Come on. Man, your check's been clear for three months, man. 72 00:03:47,590 --> 00:03:49,790 It's clear to see you ain't trying to pay me. Yo! 73 00:03:50,450 --> 00:03:52,810 All right, man, that's everything I've done for you? Come on. All right, yeah, 74 00:03:52,870 --> 00:03:53,689 that's true. 75 00:03:53,690 --> 00:03:56,810 Okay, I'll give you that. Thank you. Like the time I lent you $50 for that 76 00:03:56,810 --> 00:04:00,830 B pill. Yo, yo, yo, okay, roll the tape. Roll the tape, bro. You still owe me 77 00:04:00,830 --> 00:04:02,870 $50. Yeah, all right, I'll write you a check, man. 78 00:04:03,170 --> 00:04:04,170 Two checks, man. 79 00:04:06,050 --> 00:04:10,190 We're going to bring unsuspecting customers who are upset over fake 80 00:04:10,190 --> 00:04:10,999 their account. 81 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:14,340 We've asked comedian D .C. Irvin to help us out with this one. He's going to 82 00:04:14,340 --> 00:04:16,260 play the customer service agent from hell. 83 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:17,600 Let's see what happens. 84 00:04:20,100 --> 00:04:21,100 Yo, 85 00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:31,680 what's 86 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:33,600 up? It's your boy, D .C. Irvin. 87 00:04:33,820 --> 00:04:36,940 My goal today is to make somebody slap me. 88 00:04:37,300 --> 00:04:38,300 Let's go. 89 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:42,180 It's time to get evil. 90 00:04:45,020 --> 00:04:46,980 Thank you for calling T -Mobile. My name is DC. 91 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:48,320 How may I help you today? 92 00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:52,380 I'm calling to discuss a phone bill for my daughter. 93 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:56,480 That's usually not the amount of money she spends on her phone bill. Mama might 94 00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:59,260 let me have it. And it's $1 ,022. 95 00:04:59,780 --> 00:05:01,140 How would you like to pay that today? 96 00:05:01,460 --> 00:05:03,600 I'm not going to be paying it, and neither is she. 97 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:05,280 Well, someone's going to be paying it today. 98 00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:07,640 Are you calling to make a payment today? 99 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,660 No. I'm calling to find out why is the bill so high? 100 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:12,860 Because the gas is so high. 101 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:15,700 We don't cook all day, so how did it go all the way up to $1 ,000? 102 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:17,380 Somebody cooking all day. 103 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:20,600 How would you like to make that payment today? 104 00:05:20,940 --> 00:05:25,120 That's an issue, man. I don't understand how it's summed up to $1 ,025 .50. I 105 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:26,460 don't understand how you don't understand. 106 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,900 I don't have unlimited taxes. Excuse me, I mean, I'm the one asking you the 107 00:05:29,900 --> 00:05:31,840 question. You want me to tell you where the charges are from? 108 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:33,080 Yeah, please. 109 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:35,940 Universalpornhub .com, that's one. 110 00:05:36,260 --> 00:05:37,260 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 111 00:05:37,890 --> 00:05:39,370 There's a porn charge on here. 112 00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:41,630 Duels on dual love. 113 00:05:43,230 --> 00:05:44,230 That's for three hours. 114 00:05:46,890 --> 00:05:47,890 Okay, 115 00:05:49,030 --> 00:05:50,030 I'm not here to judge you, brother. 116 00:05:50,270 --> 00:05:52,190 That's what Jesus is doing. I'm not here to judge you. 117 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:54,490 So how do you want to pay for it? 118 00:05:54,930 --> 00:05:56,310 Obviously, you made some sort of mistake. 119 00:05:56,730 --> 00:05:59,590 I don't think we made a $1 ,025 .50 mistake. 120 00:06:00,170 --> 00:06:01,970 Check your records, baby. That's a definite mistake. 121 00:06:02,450 --> 00:06:03,450 Well, check your bank account. 122 00:06:03,820 --> 00:06:07,040 I don't need to check my bank account because my bank account is loaded with 123 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:10,200 money that you will not be getting for this full charge on her phone. 124 00:06:10,660 --> 00:06:12,180 She's about to be Superman. 125 00:06:13,420 --> 00:06:16,340 Okay, how about an extra $25 for your tone of voice? 126 00:06:17,020 --> 00:06:18,240 How about that? 127 00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:19,500 Okay, 128 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:22,680 now I'm a bitch. 129 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:25,520 Whoa, okay. Well, your bitch needs his money. 130 00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:28,700 Are you just a cheap dude? 131 00:06:30,380 --> 00:06:32,340 Where are you from? 132 00:06:34,090 --> 00:06:39,230 i'm from compton you heard there all right what does that mean in compton we 133 00:06:39,230 --> 00:06:44,890 our bills in brooklyn you don't that's what it means are you on welfare oh 134 00:06:44,890 --> 00:06:50,270 you got a temper okay he was in my face 135 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:54,220 You would see my temper, but you are over the phone, so of course you're 136 00:06:54,220 --> 00:06:57,680 to have a lot of stuff to say that you probably wouldn't normally say if you 137 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:00,500 were standing in my face. And you have a great day, sir. 138 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,040 Hello. Bet I'll call right back. 139 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,000 Is they calling back? 140 00:07:06,060 --> 00:07:07,060 You hear? 141 00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:07,859 It's them. 142 00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:08,539 It's them. 143 00:07:08,540 --> 00:07:12,980 Hello? You welfare -ass piece of shit. Don't you ever hang up the phone. 144 00:07:13,620 --> 00:07:16,920 I'm on the way. I'm going to find you. You ain't on the way. On the way where, 145 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:17,619 you ho? 146 00:07:17,620 --> 00:07:18,539 On the way. 147 00:07:18,540 --> 00:07:19,660 Did you call me a ho? 148 00:07:26,470 --> 00:07:28,190 Oh, okay. Now it just got real. 149 00:07:28,510 --> 00:07:29,510 Now it just got real. 150 00:07:30,470 --> 00:07:31,810 I'm going to have someone come get the money. 151 00:07:32,550 --> 00:07:33,550 Oh, 152 00:07:33,830 --> 00:07:34,830 this dude right here? 153 00:07:34,930 --> 00:07:36,470 I can tell I'm going to piss him off. 154 00:07:37,670 --> 00:07:41,830 If you paid for it, we wouldn't be on the phone right now. 155 00:07:42,890 --> 00:07:46,390 What number did you give me? Because I'm about to beat the shit out of this guy, 156 00:07:46,470 --> 00:07:47,470 for real. 157 00:07:48,430 --> 00:07:51,390 I'm sorry I'm being rude to you, but it's like a big shock. 158 00:07:51,630 --> 00:07:54,830 No, you're not being rude. You're not being rude one bit. How about this? If 159 00:07:54,830 --> 00:07:57,050 send me some nudes, 100 bucks. 160 00:07:57,990 --> 00:08:01,110 You do not talk to customers like that. Who the fuck do you think you're talking 161 00:08:01,110 --> 00:08:03,210 to, dude? Do not contact this number again. 162 00:08:04,270 --> 00:08:07,930 Holy... Hello? 163 00:08:08,410 --> 00:08:11,170 I need my money. You called this number again? 164 00:08:11,390 --> 00:08:14,710 I will come down there and I will give you a new one and I will shove your dick 165 00:08:14,710 --> 00:08:15,710 down your throat. 166 00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:17,340 I'll make you shit for breakfast. 167 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:19,160 No, call this number again. 168 00:08:21,260 --> 00:08:24,680 People always talk crazy to customer service. Let's see what happens when I 169 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:25,680 up. 170 00:08:28,140 --> 00:08:29,400 Hey, which one of y 'all is Holly? 171 00:08:30,780 --> 00:08:32,000 I need my money. 172 00:08:33,940 --> 00:08:34,940 Hey, money. 173 00:08:36,380 --> 00:08:38,400 What you mean, want to touch her? I need that money. I'm about to be part of 174 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:39,399 that. 175 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:40,500 No, we can handle it right here. 176 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:41,960 Excuse me, what were you saying? 177 00:08:43,140 --> 00:08:44,500 You going to pay your bill today? 178 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:47,620 The Con Edison bill. 179 00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:49,160 Hey, what you was talking about, playboy? 180 00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:51,540 I'm the dude you was on the phone with. What you was talking about? 181 00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:53,780 Yeah, this is me. What you was talking about? 182 00:08:56,060 --> 00:08:57,700 What you want to do, bro? 183 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:00,080 Hey, it's a prank comedy. It's a prank show. 184 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:01,600 50 Central. 185 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,560 It's a prank show. It's a prank show. 186 00:09:09,580 --> 00:09:10,580 What? 187 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:14,160 What you mean? 188 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:17,520 It's a prank show, bro. It's a prank show. 189 00:09:19,900 --> 00:09:22,500 It's a prank show. 190 00:09:22,940 --> 00:09:24,120 Everybody in on it. 191 00:09:31,260 --> 00:09:32,360 I'm about to take you out. 192 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:43,760 50 Cent, you got me. You got me good. 193 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,900 We'll be right back after these messages. Keep it locked right here on 194 00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:50,900 Central. 195 00:09:54,820 --> 00:09:55,820 Crack cocaine. 196 00:09:56,580 --> 00:09:59,120 Make you break it to your mama house and steal all her shit. 197 00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:03,140 And you live there. You got the key in your pocket, but you climbing through 198 00:10:03,140 --> 00:10:04,140 window. 199 00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:06,560 What do you say? 200 00:10:07,020 --> 00:10:08,180 Excuse me, where are my manners? 201 00:10:08,700 --> 00:10:09,840 Put the cash in the bag, please. 202 00:10:10,260 --> 00:10:10,660 Next 203 00:10:10,660 --> 00:10:19,600 up 204 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,980 is a special segment where I give up -and -coming artists a platform to 205 00:10:22,980 --> 00:10:23,980 their talent. 206 00:10:24,020 --> 00:10:26,660 I might give it up for Mario Toro. 207 00:10:36,130 --> 00:10:39,950 One thing about being a comic, people don't even know my lifestyle. I drove 208 00:10:39,950 --> 00:10:42,190 the way up here from Atlanta. Drove. No license. 209 00:10:42,470 --> 00:10:43,470 What? 210 00:10:43,850 --> 00:10:45,750 Yes. I am a superhero. 211 00:10:46,770 --> 00:10:50,890 I don't care what nobody say. I think people who drive on suspended license 212 00:10:50,890 --> 00:10:55,390 over two years and don't get caught, they should just give your shit back. 213 00:10:58,270 --> 00:11:01,510 They should send you your shit in the mail like a Marriott Rewards car. 214 00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:05,010 I love smoking weed. I'm the only one that smokes weed in here. 215 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:06,360 Huh? 216 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:08,000 Damn right. What? 217 00:11:08,620 --> 00:11:10,160 Best shit ever. I know I ain't alone. 218 00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:15,120 Crazy thing about weed, though. Safest drug on earth. Too many side effects of 219 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:16,120 other drugs. What? 220 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:17,700 Huh? Other drugs have too many. 221 00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:19,260 Crack cocaine. 222 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,500 Make you break it to your mama's house and steal all her shit. 223 00:11:23,260 --> 00:11:26,540 And you live there. You got the key in your pocket, but you climb through the 224 00:11:26,540 --> 00:11:27,540 window. 225 00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:30,520 It's the craziest shit ever. You coming through the window, Uncle James. What 226 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:31,399 you doing? 227 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:32,760 The key is in your pocket. 228 00:11:34,939 --> 00:11:36,100 What other shit? Meth. 229 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:37,740 Huh? The new meth. 230 00:11:38,660 --> 00:11:43,960 You lose your teeth and your face. How you lose your face, man? 231 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:47,140 Ain't no side effects of weed. 232 00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:49,660 There's two things you can lose on marijuana. 233 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:52,380 And that's a good conversation and your keys. 234 00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:53,539 That's it. 235 00:11:53,540 --> 00:11:55,840 You could be talking to somebody. Where the f*** are my keys? What you say? 236 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:57,520 Yeah, that's right. But where are my keys? 237 00:11:57,720 --> 00:12:00,620 I don't even understand where the f*** I lost my keys at while we was talking. 238 00:12:03,100 --> 00:12:04,100 Love weed. 239 00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:05,980 Only thing with weed, though, you better not do. 240 00:12:06,260 --> 00:12:10,000 You better not take your ass home and cut that oven on. What? I almost burnt 241 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:13,620 whole apartment complex down the other day trying to make a damn pot pie. I was 242 00:12:13,620 --> 00:12:14,620 already high. 243 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:18,960 And it said pot pie in it. I said, well, it's got pot in it. Let's cook this 244 00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:19,960 shit. 245 00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:24,900 I read the instructions. It say preheat the oven to 375. 246 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:32,840 Then place on the cooking sheet for 30 to 34 minutes. Then upon removal, 247 00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:35,790 Let cool for 79. 248 00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:38,990 I started doing the math. I said, God damn, that's another 48 minutes. Bitch, 249 00:12:38,990 --> 00:12:39,829 I'm hungry. 250 00:12:39,830 --> 00:12:44,410 Today, I did the only thing that any sensible person in here would have did 251 00:12:44,410 --> 00:12:45,410 you was high. What? 252 00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:48,310 I cranked the oven up to 485. 253 00:12:50,130 --> 00:12:51,130 How's this shit go? 254 00:12:52,430 --> 00:12:55,730 Then I started doing math. I knew algebra was going to help me one day. 255 00:12:56,410 --> 00:12:57,690 I broke the shit down. 256 00:12:57,910 --> 00:13:02,630 I said, well, if it's 375 for 24 to 30 -something minutes, if I put it on 485, 257 00:13:03,470 --> 00:13:10,290 Six minutes. My black ass got high. I walked around and dozed off. 258 00:13:11,410 --> 00:13:13,090 I woke up. Smoke was everywhere. 259 00:13:13,330 --> 00:13:14,930 It was like I was cremating a body. 260 00:13:16,750 --> 00:13:21,790 But not only did I do that, but at the end, the pot pot was so burnt, I looked 261 00:13:21,790 --> 00:13:25,370 at the guts in it. The guts wasn't burnt, so I did anything any person 262 00:13:25,370 --> 00:13:26,370 here would have done when he was high. 263 00:13:26,830 --> 00:13:30,710 I took the guts and poured it on some white bread. I had a pot pot. 264 00:13:40,780 --> 00:13:43,680 Hey, security guard, how do you describe yourself? 265 00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:49,320 I'm fat, okay? I'm a fat guy. Look, just because you fat don't mean you're 266 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:51,400 unhealthy. That's what my mama said. I like banana pudding. 267 00:14:03,950 --> 00:14:07,350 You're like lost in thought. I was just thinking about my New Year's resolution 268 00:14:07,350 --> 00:14:08,590 to be more politically correct. 269 00:14:09,330 --> 00:14:13,290 Specifically, like, should I use the word black or African -American in your 270 00:14:13,290 --> 00:14:13,989 opinion? Which do you think? 271 00:14:13,990 --> 00:14:17,810 Black or African -American? Black? Black? Anyone? African -American? I 272 00:14:17,810 --> 00:14:20,910 cool with either one. Do you ever wonder why, though, there isn't two terms for 273 00:14:20,910 --> 00:14:24,270 Caucasian, like white and something more PC, like rhythmically deficient 274 00:14:24,270 --> 00:14:25,270 Americans? 275 00:14:26,550 --> 00:14:29,490 This guy, you are one funny honky, Mark. 276 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:39,000 We've got exactly 10 minutes to pull up the pipe. If you're not out here in 10, 277 00:14:39,140 --> 00:14:39,979 you get left. 278 00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:40,719 Watch it. 279 00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:42,780 3, 2, 1. 280 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:45,080 Do this. 281 00:14:48,980 --> 00:14:50,580 No, wait, no, this is a robbery! 282 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:51,880 Everybody get down! 283 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:53,580 Let's go! Let's go! 284 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:55,380 No, let's move! Come on! Move, move! 285 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:58,560 Hop to it, hop to it! You, what's your preferred pronoun? 286 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:00,900 Oh, please don't shoot! You can say whatever you want! 287 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:03,420 Jesus! Don't use the Lord's name in vain! 288 00:15:03,740 --> 00:15:06,390 I'm not personally related! but there might be folks in here who are. 289 00:15:06,610 --> 00:15:09,610 Amen. I'm not going to shoot you, ma 'am, or you prefer Sarah. 290 00:15:09,870 --> 00:15:11,710 God damn it! What's your pronoun? 291 00:15:12,170 --> 00:15:16,470 She and her! My pronouns are she and her! Put the cash in the bag, lady! What 292 00:15:16,470 --> 00:15:17,209 you say? 293 00:15:17,210 --> 00:15:18,310 Excuse me, where are my manners? 294 00:15:18,530 --> 00:15:20,010 Put the cash in the bag, please. 295 00:15:20,290 --> 00:15:21,290 Rude ass. 296 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:24,590 Five minutes. 297 00:15:28,290 --> 00:15:30,610 Hey, you fat type of lord, don't get us all killed. 298 00:15:31,070 --> 00:15:32,070 I got kids. 299 00:15:32,490 --> 00:15:34,450 Hey! Don't you talk to him like that. 300 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:37,320 Don't you know America has issues with fat shaming? 301 00:15:37,820 --> 00:15:39,360 You talk like that in front of your kids. 302 00:15:40,220 --> 00:15:41,580 I'm sorry. 303 00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:44,220 I love fat people. I love fat people. 304 00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:46,140 Hey, security guard. 305 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:47,800 How do you describe yourself? 306 00:15:48,820 --> 00:15:53,460 I'm fat, okay? I'm a fat guy. Look, just because you're fat don't mean you're 307 00:15:53,460 --> 00:15:55,520 unhealthy. That's what my mama said. I like banana pudding. 308 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:59,620 Yeah, yeah. You hear that? Now stop being an asshole. 309 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:01,680 Hear that out. 310 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:07,220 Oh, there's another person back here. It's a black man. 311 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:11,940 What? I said it's a black man. Oh, God, oh, God, please, don't shoot. 312 00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:13,460 Why did you just say black person? 313 00:16:13,860 --> 00:16:15,140 Why do you always whisper black? 314 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:18,440 Because I'm really not sure what it is anymore. I don't know what the right 315 00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:22,340 answer is. Is it black or African -American? I'm confused. Plus, he 316 00:16:22,340 --> 00:16:25,320 he had an accent, so it threw me off. Okay, let me clarify. 317 00:16:25,540 --> 00:16:27,620 All black people are not from America. 318 00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:29,000 Black is very appropriate. 319 00:16:29,380 --> 00:16:30,379 Wait, what the... 320 00:16:30,380 --> 00:16:33,440 What is going on in here today? We steal money, but we also try to respect 321 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:37,060 people's humanity. Is that so difficult to understand, my big -boned amigo? 322 00:16:37,420 --> 00:16:40,800 Yeah, because being a bank robber doesn't mean you have to be a bad 323 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:42,680 Precisely. All right, my bad. 324 00:16:44,020 --> 00:16:45,020 Sir! 325 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:46,960 All right. 326 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:48,440 Don't follow us out. 327 00:16:48,620 --> 00:16:51,260 Don't call the police. An absolutely no funny business. 328 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:55,560 Understand? But most importantly, above all else, try to respect each other as 329 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:57,580 human beings, because that's most important. 330 00:16:58,640 --> 00:16:59,640 Team, out! 331 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:01,880 Great job, you guys. You mean you all? 332 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:03,960 Excuse me. You all. 333 00:17:05,839 --> 00:17:07,119 This tip shit crazy. 334 00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:10,640 You having fun? Of course. 335 00:17:11,060 --> 00:17:14,599 That's right. I'm chilling with my girl, UT, right here. Don't go nowhere. 336 00:17:14,819 --> 00:17:16,460 50 Central will be right back. 337 00:17:17,140 --> 00:17:18,420 Hey, hey. 338 00:17:19,380 --> 00:17:26,300 Thank you for tuning in to another episode of 50 Central. 339 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:30,220 You know, we're not done yet. We got one last thing for you before we get out of 340 00:17:30,220 --> 00:17:33,800 here. A boy came through and blessed us with another world premiere. 341 00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:35,040 Check it out. 342 00:17:59,210 --> 00:18:02,070 Thought I could come back when that road and I had came back wrong. 343 00:18:02,350 --> 00:18:06,410 Talked a little with Herbie, but it didn't hurt me none at all. Man, I stay 344 00:18:06,410 --> 00:18:08,350 working through a hard rain and thunderstorm. 345 00:18:09,010 --> 00:18:14,270 I'ma stack this paper up again like I never done. I got these rose gold 346 00:18:14,350 --> 00:18:18,730 I feel better now. I put the city on my back and I can't let them down. 347 00:18:18,930 --> 00:18:23,890 Go get that semi -automatic and I'll let you down. I know some days I didn't 348 00:18:23,890 --> 00:18:25,210 have it, I can't play around. 349 00:18:25,950 --> 00:18:28,750 Daylight scooter, where you came from? Got me selling raw. 350 00:18:28,970 --> 00:18:34,090 My VL keep that stick like he playing lacrosse. I lost a million, got it back, 351 00:18:34,230 --> 00:18:35,470 can't take another loss. 352 00:18:35,770 --> 00:18:38,870 All that jigging and finessing made myself a boss. 353 00:18:39,130 --> 00:18:42,030 I got 20 gold chains, I feel better now. 354 00:18:42,230 --> 00:18:47,290 I got three kids, 3 ,000 haters, I can't play around. I know you rap about them, 355 00:18:47,310 --> 00:18:51,590 but can you rap a brick? These really entertaining today, so. 356 00:18:53,390 --> 00:18:55,630 Little Mexico City, we got. 357 00:18:57,120 --> 00:18:59,640 Thunderstorm is raining bricks. We don't get rain. 358 00:19:00,060 --> 00:19:02,960 And I'm going to stack this money like I never done. 359 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,280 I can ride a chopper brick like I'm Daniel Stone. 360 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:10,420 I'm back with that rod and I ain't paying back. Talk a little about Herbie, 361 00:19:10,420 --> 00:19:14,760 it didn't hurt me none at all. Man, I stay working through a hard rain and 362 00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:19,560 thunderstorm. I'm going to stack this paper up again like I never done. I got 363 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:24,860 these rose gold jewels. I feel better now. I put the city on my back and I 364 00:19:24,860 --> 00:19:25,799 let them down. 365 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:30,220 Go get this in your heart. A medic cannot lay you down. I know some things 366 00:19:30,220 --> 00:19:31,920 didn't have and I can play around. 367 00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:36,260 Chug house, number 10's around. 368 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,780 Lay it down, lay it down. 369 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:42,900 Chug house, number 10's around. 370 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,260 If I'm around, they break some piles around. 371 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,680 I got ghosts and they don't make a sound. 372 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:55,580 That chopper sound you on the ground. My diamond's wetter than the ocean. Yours 373 00:19:55,580 --> 00:19:56,580 up and down. 374 00:19:56,980 --> 00:19:59,200 All I do is count, get money and love. 30221

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.