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The curse words in this message have
been approved by 50 Cent.
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Bitch.
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Yo, man, where did you make that food
at, man? I ordered it, man. Yo, who had
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go? I stink in this mall.
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Yo,
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what y 'all doing to my trailer?
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What you mean, your trailer?
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What's going on with this shit?
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Trailer seat Wu -Tang like five trailers
down, man. This is our trailer right
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here. Go outside and say Wu -Tang right
on the motherfucking thing, man.
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00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:53,620
Don't say Wu -Tang on the trail. It's
like five times.
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00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:58,460
It's like six times, man. We got vitamin
water, baby. Ain't no vegan shit in
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here, is it?
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I need 10 minutes. I got to pee like a
racehorse.
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What are you guys doing? What are you
guys doing on the trail?
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It's not your trail. It's my trail. I
just think of dumping it.
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It's my show.
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50 Central.
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All right, all right.
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Okay. These be awesome.
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Yeah,
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yeah.
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Yeah, trick -em -up. Yeah,
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trick -em -up.
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Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for 50
Cent.
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Hey, you say New York City.
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Give it up for DJ Spinkin'.
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Welcome to 50 Centures.
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We got another dope show for you. And we
are straight up starship. Yo, Tristan,
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Mark, come out here.
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What are we
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doing this weekend?
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Sunday, unfortunately, I got to go to a
funeral.
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Oh, shit, I'm so sorry. I didn't hear
about who passed away. My centipede
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away.
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So I just got his ashes, like, in my
room now, and I can't quite... Shut up.
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No, no, no, no. A centipede is a
legitimate pet. It's just... Some people
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cats, other people have dogs.
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I like a little more legs.
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Black people don't cremate.
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That's some white people shit. Roll the
tape.
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What up? everybody i'm back at it again
out here in newark new jersey this time
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seeing how strangers on the street react
when i spread a little love all over
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their clothing
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mark
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i want you to talk to yourself oh
grandpa i told you to keep your hearing
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you would have heard that bus coming
Why? Why didn't you look both ways?
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How you doing? I just lost my granddad.
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Who you talking on the phone with?
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I like those pink pants.
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Get this guy a suitcase.
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I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, my God. I'm
sorry.
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I'm sorry. My granddad. Oh, shit. I was
supposed to spread his ashes in the
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street. I'm sorry.
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Could you help me get my granddad off
your suitcase?
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There might be a little bit of my
granddad on your suitcase.
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I'm sorry.
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Oh, no.
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Oh, no. Oh, come on.
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If it was your grandpa, I'd help you.
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Mark, I want you to talk to yourself,
and then right when you see him, run
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into him.
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Oh! Oh, shit! My grandpa just hit my...
Oh, shit! Oh, shit! I'm so sorry!
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Stop!
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Oh, grandpa!
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Throw it on his feet. Throw it on his
feet.
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Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
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Oh, my dad!
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My dad!
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It's just ashes.
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It's just a dead body.
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It's just a dead body. It's not even
living anymore.
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Obviously. Can you help me? Can you help
me? Can you please pick it back up? I'm
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supposed to die right there. You got hit
by a bus. I'm supposed to... Why?
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Why would you spill water?
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You're going to be on the cement.
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Can anyone help me come pick up my dad?
Can anyone help me pick up my dad?
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He voted for Obama. Could you help me?
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I'll help you.
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I'll help you, too.
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Are you trying to put it back in here?
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This is your dad. You're not being
careful.
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Dad, if you can hear me right now,
there's a beautiful black woman helping
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He was married to a white woman, but he
had a lot of black mistresses, so I know
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about the culture.
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This is like the weirdest first date
ever, right? Well, we're not married.
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Technically.
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No, we're not. Ma 'am, you would have
loved my grandpa.
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He used to play get rich or die trying
before I went to bed just to make sure I
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slept all right.
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My grandpa was a cool dude.
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He loved black women.
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Tell him to kneel down with you.
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Get down here with me. Could you get
that? Can we just take a moment to kneel
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real quick?
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I don't know about kneeling down.
Please.
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Thank you.
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Tell him to pray for your granddad.
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Can you talk to my grandpa real quick
and just say some kind words?
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Oh, Grandpa, we miss you and everything,
Grandpa.
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Oh, that was really good.
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Can I have a hug before you go, man? All
right, man.
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Can I have a hug, please? Can I have a
hug?
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All right, man.
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00:06:34,820 --> 00:06:36,220
Keep hugging the target, all right?
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Just a little bit longer.
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Hey, how you doing?
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Oh, my God!
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Oh, no!
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Shut up!
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You are 50 Central! B -E -T! Boom!
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I completely understand, but you have to
stop calling here. It's just getting a
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little bit too much. I'm on vacation
with Michelle and the kids.
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There's no easy way for me to say this,
but it's over.
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I can't do it anymore.
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00:07:43,590 --> 00:07:45,590
It's over. You have to stop calling
here.
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Barry, who are you talking to on the
phone at 3 o 'clock in the morning?
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Michelle.
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It's America, sweetheart.
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Give me the phone.
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Please be easy with America, please.
Didn't I tell you to stop calling us?
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00:08:06,020 --> 00:08:08,740
We can't help you anymore.
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No, we can't. No, we had a good run with
you. We did. We gave you eight strong
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years. Eight strong years.
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And we looked good doing it, too. That's
right, babe. We did. But so many of you
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didn't appreciate that.
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It's a little harsh.
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Because you made a mistake.
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Messed it all the way up. And now the
future is in the baby hands of Donnie
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the bad hair. Those disgusting little
hands.
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00:08:33,900 --> 00:08:38,559
So the next time you've got a problem at
3 a .m., tweet it to 45.
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That's right.
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Obama's out.
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Good work, babe.
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So, um, you want to...
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Try a little something now that we ended
those calls.
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All right, here we go.
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Here we go. We're blitzing.
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Oh, yeah, we're blitzing.
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00:09:00,950 --> 00:09:01,950
Oh, yes.
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00:09:02,370 --> 00:09:04,630
Call me Santa Claus because I got a
present for you.
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00:09:15,010 --> 00:09:18,890
Next up is a special segment where I
give up and coming artists a platform to
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showcase their talents.
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00:09:20,250 --> 00:09:21,250
I'm I.
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Today, we got an internet sensation.
I've been keeping up with him. He owns
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00:09:24,980 --> 00:09:27,540
own brand, My Money Makers. Please
welcome Gary Dixon.
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00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:37,380
So, Gary, what got you into your own
brand, developing your brand and stuff?
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00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:40,440
Oh, man, because we do a lot of funny
barbershop videos.
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What goes on in the barbershop every
day, we make fun of. Well, you know, the
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00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:46,480
barbershop is the therapist you don't
have to pay for.
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00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:49,750
Oh, yeah. Well, a lot of dudes tell the
truth in the barbershop. I don't know
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what it is about that cape, but it's
like Wonder Woman's lasso of truth.
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00:09:52,430 --> 00:09:55,570
You know, dude come in the barbershop
like, hey, man, my family's good. I love
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my family. So he put the cape on. I got
a side piece.
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Yeah, I think I might be burning right
now.
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00:10:01,510 --> 00:10:03,610
Take the cape off. Tell me how many
numbers.
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00:10:03,850 --> 00:10:07,050
Oh, 500 million views worldwide.
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00:10:09,310 --> 00:10:12,070
It's a real deal. Tested and proven
already, baby. We're just showing them
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00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:14,610
something new. Yeah, man. That's what we
do. Check this out.
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The aggressive baba.
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The seductive
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baba.
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The clumsy baba.
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Talking and listening.
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Babas. Just cut my hair.
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D, I don't want to get my shoes dirty.
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Baba.
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D, I'm 30.
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00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,960
Baba. For you, I'll do it for 15.
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00:11:05,900 --> 00:11:07,100
D, late.
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00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:12,860
Baba. I'm going to call you back. My
bad, play, I'm late.
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00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:14,260
But I got to cut.
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All of them people first.
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Quick.
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Me.
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00:11:21,650 --> 00:11:22,650
Daddy.
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00:11:24,130 --> 00:11:25,130
Baba.
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The Arguing Man.
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Yo,
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this is why I love this guy. Great
stuff. We'll be right back after this.
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00:12:45,740 --> 00:12:49,640
Did you just notice? I mean, you look
expensive, girl. Listen, I'm trying to
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00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:52,200
that rapper money, especially when they
start branching off into other
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00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:55,560
businesses and maybe even start a
clothing line. Right, right, right. Or,
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start a sketch comedy show on BET.
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That's right!
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00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:00,320
Yeah, look at that.
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00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:04,300
Yo, you know what show I love? That
cooking show with Martha Stewart and
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00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:06,840
Dogg? Yes, yes. I've seen that. And I
just read, I've seen Variety.
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00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:08,820
They're bringing out a new guest host.
Really?
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00:13:09,100 --> 00:13:10,100
Yeah. Check it out.
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00:13:20,330 --> 00:13:21,790
Hey, what's cooking, my niggles?
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00:13:21,990 --> 00:13:26,450
It's your boy Snoop Dio Double Jizzle.
And today I'm in the kitchen solo
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00:13:26,450 --> 00:13:28,830
my girl Martha had to meet with her
parole officer.
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00:13:29,510 --> 00:13:34,490
So today I got a celebrity guest for y
'all. You know him from his famous work
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00:13:34,490 --> 00:13:36,090
as the Donkey Voice.
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00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:38,850
So go ahead, nephews and nephews.
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00:13:39,070 --> 00:13:44,610
Put your hands together for E to the
double E -I -E. Put your hands together
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00:13:44,610 --> 00:13:46,410
my man Eddie Murphy. That's right.
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00:13:46,670 --> 00:13:48,610
That's right. Let's put our hands
together for Ed.
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00:13:51,620 --> 00:13:56,340
Yeah, now that's that classic donkey
voice we all know and love so much.
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00:13:56,660 --> 00:14:01,820
So since my girl Martha's gone for the
day, got the kitchen to myself, we're
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00:14:01,820 --> 00:14:03,000
going to do things my way.
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00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:04,880
We're going to make brownies.
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00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:07,920
Oh, brownies, brownies, brownies.
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00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:09,180
You're a little hype dog.
206
00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:13,220
No, no, Snoop, that was a joke. That was
from my movie, Nutty Professor. I'm
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00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:14,220
sure you'd see.
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00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:16,940
Nah, I only saw the donkey stuff.
209
00:14:17,450 --> 00:14:22,230
So anyway, we're going to move on. Step
one, two, three, and to the fourth, get
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00:14:22,230 --> 00:14:24,310
the special butter you can't find at the
store.
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00:14:24,810 --> 00:14:28,470
This is Lace with the best THC from the
LBC.
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00:14:28,750 --> 00:14:30,150
Y 'all know how I do it.
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00:14:30,450 --> 00:14:31,450
No.
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00:14:33,450 --> 00:14:34,750
Damn, that's good.
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00:14:35,090 --> 00:14:36,270
Goddamn, that's some good butter.
216
00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:39,190
Butter was the case that they gave me.
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00:14:39,470 --> 00:14:40,470
It's bringing me back in time.
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00:14:41,219 --> 00:14:47,100
I want to eat this butter all the time,
butter all the time, butter all the
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00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:48,100
time.
220
00:14:49,380 --> 00:14:51,320
Did you just make that song up, Eddie?
221
00:14:51,540 --> 00:14:54,860
No, Snoop, that's from my famous song
from the 80s, Party All the Time.
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00:14:55,340 --> 00:14:57,380
I must have missed that one, my missus.
223
00:14:57,790 --> 00:15:01,190
grown -ass man gonna miss Eddie Murphy.
I'd just be on top of the world. Party
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00:15:01,190 --> 00:15:04,230
all the time. 48 hours. I was rolling
delirious, baby.
225
00:15:04,910 --> 00:15:08,750
I don't know none of them titles, but
speaking of toppings, my nizzle, we need
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00:15:08,750 --> 00:15:10,530
some fudge for the drink in my nizzle.
227
00:15:10,770 --> 00:15:12,410
Snoop, you're the highest person I've
ever met.
228
00:15:12,710 --> 00:15:15,810
Now, really, really, Snoop, when are we
gonna make these brownies? Because I've
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00:15:15,810 --> 00:15:19,070
been very excited to come here and learn
how to make brownies from a master.
230
00:15:19,230 --> 00:15:21,370
Eddie, why are you rushing me, man?
231
00:15:22,610 --> 00:15:23,610
Chill, cuz.
232
00:15:23,910 --> 00:15:24,930
Why am I rushing you?
233
00:15:25,790 --> 00:15:27,090
Snoop, I'm high.
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00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:28,900
I'm high hungry, Snoop.
235
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:31,320
And I feel paranoid right now.
236
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:35,780
I feel like the walls are closing in on
me, Snoop. That's that good shit.
237
00:15:36,020 --> 00:15:37,020
This ain't the good shit.
238
00:15:37,260 --> 00:15:38,260
It's just the butter, man.
239
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,140
What you got in this butter, Snoop? I'm
melting.
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00:15:40,620 --> 00:15:41,740
Snoop, I feel like I'm melting.
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00:15:42,060 --> 00:15:43,060
Eddie, chill.
242
00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:47,220
Chill, Eddie. Eddie, my man. You got to
chill.
243
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:48,780
I got to eat something, Snoop.
244
00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:50,440
Snoop, I got to eat.
245
00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:54,740
Okay, we going to get Eddie something to
eat because he can't seem to chill
246
00:15:54,740 --> 00:15:56,420
until the next episode.
247
00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:57,639
That's right.
248
00:15:57,640 --> 00:15:59,880
And next time, we're making waffles.
249
00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:04,340
I got to get some more of these, too.
They got me too high.
250
00:16:08,660 --> 00:16:10,740
We'll be right back. Keep it right here
on 56.
251
00:16:10,940 --> 00:16:11,940
You better not go nowhere.
252
00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:13,380
I'm going to go in these.
253
00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:16,160
I'll be keeping that dough. Good man.
254
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:17,439
Good man.
255
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,060
I'm going to keep it. I don't know.
256
00:16:20,850 --> 00:16:25,630
Tonight we have an exclusive live
concert performance right here, right
257
00:16:25,630 --> 00:16:27,050
5050. Thanks for watching.
258
00:19:08,530 --> 00:19:11,330
I guess that's a job and I'm not
depressed.
259
00:19:11,590 --> 00:19:12,590
I'm still depressed.
260
00:19:12,810 --> 00:19:14,330
So I guess what's the worst?
20435
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