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The curse words in this message have
been approved by 50 Cent.
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00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:05,160
Itch.
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00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:07,920
We're taking a really big step, babe.
Deep breath.
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00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:12,380
Hi. Hi. Do you guys have shared phone
plans with two lines?
5
00:00:13,020 --> 00:00:14,880
Great question. You came to the right
place.
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00:00:15,100 --> 00:00:19,040
Not only do all of our plans have two
lines, but PayCNT and Mobile have the
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00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:20,700
largest 4G network in America.
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00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:26,440
And, unlike our competitors, we're the
first to offer a new shared player plan.
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00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:30,560
where our male customers, who are
already in a shared plan with a
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00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:34,260
other, receive access to a third secret
line.
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At no additional cost.
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00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:39,740
Okay, we're in a committed relationship.
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Oh. And we just need one plan with two
lines.
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00:00:43,900 --> 00:00:44,900
You guys have that, right?
15
00:00:45,220 --> 00:00:50,220
Great question. Yes, we do. All PayTNT
mobile plans come with two smartphones
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00:00:50,220 --> 00:00:54,280
and free upgrades after a year. Okay,
that's more along the lines of what I
17
00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:55,960
thinking about. Thank you. You're
welcome.
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00:00:56,800 --> 00:01:00,800
And your discreet third line comes with
a flip phone that's small enough to fit
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in your sock, but cheap enough to easily
get rid of if you need to quickly
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destroy it. Is this bitch Percy?
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00:01:06,620 --> 00:01:09,360
Babe, I have no idea what you're talking
about. Ma 'am, I have absolutely no
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00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:12,400
idea what you're talking about. Why
would I need a second secret phone?
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00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:15,160
Great question.
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Each line comes with 15 gigs of data.
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00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:21,960
And we recently partnered with Pandora,
so you get free, unlimited streaming to
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00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:23,760
today's... Please stop.
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...hottest speeds.
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And we've also partnered with all the
most titillating dating apps. So you
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have to dip into your data when you just
want to dip. Enough of this!
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Look, you're clearly not trying to help
us figure out a family plan. Can we
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speak to your manager?
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00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:43,870
Great question.
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AT &T Mobile knows that a modern family
needs a modern family plan. That's why
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we offer the first ever secret family
plan.
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See, our customers kept asking us.
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00:01:54,110 --> 00:01:57,610
Can you take our side chick's names off
the contract? So, eventually, we just
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got rid of the contracts altogether.
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Don't breathe! Would you stop?
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00:02:01,310 --> 00:02:04,850
Look, miss, I'm not that kind of man.
Not every dude that walks in here is a
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00:02:04,850 --> 00:02:08,630
dog. I'm here with a woman that I love,
and we just want two lines.
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That's it.
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When'd you get that phone?
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I'll take that line, too.
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The PayTNT player plan for a side piece.
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All right,
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all right.
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Okay.
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20 minutes, 30 minutes. That bag coming.
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10 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes. You
know what's up.
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10 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes.
Yeah, trick him up. Yeah, yeah.
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Yeah, trick him up. Yeah, yeah.
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Yeah, trick him up.
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He's the most fed person in this part.
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Now he's the most fed person on late
night.
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The host of 50 Central!
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50 Cent!
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Hey, you say New York City.
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Give it up for please New York's very
own world famous DJ Envy.
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We got a great show for you. Let's get
into it.
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Hey, Tristan.
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Kia.
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No.
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You consider yourself to be a jealous
boyfriend. You don't realize it, but
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jealous. I believe I handle myself in
every situation appropriately.
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That's code for I act a fool. I'm a
jealous boyfriend.
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No, I didn't say that.
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If your girl, if she had a very, very,
very attractive male best friend. Yeah,
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best friends are good for the soul.
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Lies. Lies you tell. Okay, one more.
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I'm ready. What if you found out that
that friend...
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00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,620
You said date your girl back in the
past. That changes things. Now it's
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different. Things are different. Things
are different now.
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That's no big deal.
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It's all cool in theory, but let's check
in with my homegirl, Jasmine, to see
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what happens in real life when you and
your bae run into the ex.
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Not a damn thing. All right.
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Want to stop Trump from destroying
Central Park?
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Stop Trump!
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State Central Park.
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Stop Trump.
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00:04:45,580 --> 00:04:48,420
Hello. How you doing? I'm actually
collecting signatures today.
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My boy Mark is really not collecting
signatures.
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How long has he been in?
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Like three years.
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Okay. Three years is pretty long. He's
really collecting Mark.
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You guys in love?
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Yeah.
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We have a cat and everything.
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A cat and everything. Well, that's a
universal sign.
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00:05:02,220 --> 00:05:05,260
With each of these couples, the guy
knows that Jasmine is his plan.
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00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:07,240
But let's see how that girl responds.
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Oh, right, right, right. Right, right.
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How's Grace?
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Your mom didn't forget my name because
she still calls me.
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She's good?
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Well, I can't wait to tell my son that
you're here because he's going to flip.
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Like, out of all the guys I've ever had
in my life, like, you were the only one
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that he really took to.
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Yeah.
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00:05:50,290 --> 00:05:53,510
It's just really good to see you. I just
remember you were just, you were such a
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joy. He's like the Kobe Bryant of one
-eyed fans.
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Yeah. Do you talk?
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00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:03,560
Yeah. Yeah?
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00:06:04,020 --> 00:06:06,040
But I'm just not talking to him. Oh,
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00:06:06,940 --> 00:06:07,940
okay. Yeah.
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I was like, oh, my gosh, I thought he
was with his aunt or something.
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Do you get that at all?
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No. First time.
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Well, first time for everything.
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All right. Let's raise the stakes.
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How long you been together?
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About seven years.
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Whoa, that's a long time. You guys in
love?
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I am.
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Let's see how these guys react when the
ex that shows up is me.
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Oh, shit.
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Sherelle, how you doing?
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What?
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How you doing? What up, man?
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00:06:38,860 --> 00:06:39,860
Good to see you, man.
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Oh, my God.
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00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:44,880
What's going on?
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Shit, how you doing? Hey.
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How you doing?
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Damn. What's up, man? How you doing?
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00:06:52,940 --> 00:06:53,960
What's up, man? How you doing, man?
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Your gay best friend or something like
that?
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00:07:00,900 --> 00:07:01,900
No.
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00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:04,700
No, that's my boo. I don't know. That's
my boo.
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00:07:05,140 --> 00:07:09,800
I see you got to keep yourself in shape.
I remember you coming backstage and
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00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:11,660
your personality was so vibrant. Thank
you.
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00:07:12,260 --> 00:07:13,500
You got a birthday coming up, right?
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00:07:14,060 --> 00:07:19,720
Yeah. Yeah, it's the only secret, you
know. You love her?
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00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:22,400
Oh, yeah. I understand why you love her.
I understand.
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00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:25,520
Good girl, man. You know, if I had the
opportunity, I'd go back in seconds, but
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00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:26,520
y 'all get the thing.
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00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:29,820
Third, fourth, fifth, and everything,
but you know, I know why you love it.
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00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:38,400
I don't care about girls I sleep with,
but you know, she's a little different.
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00:07:40,860 --> 00:07:43,640
I miss that move she did. I never had
that done before.
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00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:49,640
No disrespect, you know, I mean, she's
just talented.
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Her makeup?
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Talented with her makeup?
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00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:55,020
No, no, no, I'm talking about sexually.
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Have you never ran into a guy that you
had amazing sex with and just had to say
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00:08:02,450 --> 00:08:04,690
hi? Even if he was with his, you know.
146
00:08:05,730 --> 00:08:06,730
No.
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00:08:07,190 --> 00:08:11,790
Are you mad at me? No, I'm not mad. It's
just, you're from the past, so let's
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just keep it there.
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I don't know what else is there to
elaborate on.
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00:08:18,510 --> 00:08:20,450
Throw on a scale from 1 to 10, how would
you rate this?
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00:08:22,950 --> 00:08:24,610
I give him a 12. I don't talk about
that.
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00:08:25,110 --> 00:08:26,110
Oh, you ain't even never.
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00:08:26,430 --> 00:08:27,550
I gotta skate, bro.
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00:08:38,130 --> 00:08:39,130
Let's take this picture.
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00:08:39,650 --> 00:08:42,850
By the way, you're on my new show.
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00:08:47,450 --> 00:08:51,710
You have just got pranked on 50
Centurion.
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00:09:00,490 --> 00:09:02,010
Let me just get a picture of you before
you go.
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00:09:02,950 --> 00:09:06,350
Nah. I know how you be doing. Nah, I
ain't doing nothing. Nah.
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00:09:06,830 --> 00:09:08,550
You're not about to. Can I get a
picture?
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00:09:08,790 --> 00:09:10,090
I just want to take a picture with you.
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00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:13,370
You want to take a picture? No, come
here, come here, come here.
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00:09:13,730 --> 00:09:15,110
There's a camera right here, look.
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00:09:15,730 --> 00:09:16,730
There's a camera.
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00:09:18,130 --> 00:09:19,130
You're on the show.
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00:09:20,890 --> 00:09:22,010
It's a TV show.
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00:09:24,110 --> 00:09:25,450
Come on. You're on the show.
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00:09:26,290 --> 00:09:27,590
You're on the show on TV.
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00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,110
He was like.
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00:09:31,010 --> 00:09:32,010
I'm out of here.
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00:09:33,230 --> 00:09:35,630
Yeah, this show is just getting started,
so don't go anywhere.
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00:09:44,270 --> 00:09:48,130
Next up is a special segment where I
give up -and -coming artists a platform
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00:09:48,130 --> 00:09:49,130
showcase their talents.
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00:09:49,470 --> 00:09:50,470
I'm out.
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00:09:50,550 --> 00:09:52,150
Please welcome Kevin T.
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00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:04,860
My name Kevin Tate, straight up. Listen,
I know, listen, it's the 017 fellas.
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00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:07,880
I'm going to talk to y 'all since y 'all
ain't here. If y 'all really want y
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00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:11,680
'all relationship to last in the 017,
dawg, it come down to real shit. You got
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00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:14,060
to step up, dawg. You got to lock your
phone, fam.
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00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:19,060
Lock your shit, dawg.
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00:10:20,230 --> 00:10:23,930
Straight up, man. It's the old 17. Lock
your shit, man. And see, the women that
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00:10:23,930 --> 00:10:26,970
get you every time this time, they get
you every time. Why you locking your
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00:10:26,970 --> 00:10:28,330
phone if you ain't got nothing to hide?
183
00:10:28,610 --> 00:10:31,030
Why you locking your phone if you ain't
got nothing to hide?
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00:10:31,770 --> 00:10:34,310
I lock my front door. That don't mean
I'm hiding my couch.
185
00:10:37,590 --> 00:10:38,830
Lock your phone, bro.
186
00:10:39,590 --> 00:10:42,550
You want to mess the night up, straight
up. Try to snatch your girlfriend. I
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00:10:42,550 --> 00:10:45,870
know you think you know her strength.
Try to snatch her cell phone from her.
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00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:54,160
You see a real strength like let me go
Really you ripping really let me go you
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00:10:54,160 --> 00:11:00,020
are choking me really you are to let me
go. Let me go I'm gonna call my brother.
190
00:11:00,180 --> 00:11:03,420
I'm about to call my brother if you
don't let me go. I'm gonna call my
191
00:11:03,420 --> 00:11:08,120
if you don't Look she looking like he
still didn't get it though
192
00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:14,380
Straighter, you know you could tell who
you are in a relationship I would your
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00:11:14,380 --> 00:11:16,800
girl save your name as and her cell
phone and shit
194
00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:21,160
I get to the house. I call my girl
phone. I pick it up and look at it. It
195
00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:22,240
it say this.
196
00:11:29,500 --> 00:11:31,720
I'm telling you, anybody single, clap if
you single. Make some noise.
197
00:11:32,140 --> 00:11:33,280
Really? Really? Really?
198
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:38,580
You got to have your stuff together to
be single, man. It's the 017. The women
199
00:11:38,580 --> 00:11:41,680
going to tell you these days, I don't
need a man for nothing. I'm good. I
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00:11:41,680 --> 00:11:42,680
need a man for shit.
201
00:11:42,860 --> 00:11:43,940
Thank you. No, thank you.
202
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:50,840
Until you go visit they house and start
looking around like, yeah, you do need a
203
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,100
man for some shit around here.
204
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,680
Like you go in they bedroom and the damn
ceiling fan going crazy and shit.
205
00:12:00,140 --> 00:12:03,380
Like, oh, you need to get a man to come
tighten up the ceiling fan.
206
00:12:04,620 --> 00:12:06,280
Like we supposed to do it up under that.
207
00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:10,640
And you can't turn it off because the
string too short. You like, God damn it.
208
00:12:17,019 --> 00:12:18,020
Like, get somebody.
209
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:20,280
Two B's left, bro.
210
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:24,000
I'm going to turn this crazy ass ceiling
fan off with two B's, dog.
211
00:12:25,980 --> 00:12:28,840
You need, what happened to the
shoestring I tied up?
212
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:33,780
Go get your, why would your son take the
shoe? Go get your son there.
213
00:12:35,020 --> 00:12:37,540
I finally grabbed it, thought I was
going to turn it off, messed around,
214
00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:38,800
it on high. The shit went crazy.
215
00:12:40,500 --> 00:12:41,720
Like, go get your son.
216
00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:44,560
Okay, my name's Kevin Tate. I got to get
out of here, y 'all.
217
00:12:58,700 --> 00:12:59,279
Good morning, everyone.
218
00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:00,280
Good morning.
219
00:13:00,300 --> 00:13:05,580
I am your human resources rep, Ms.
Dixon, and I'm here to familiarize you
220
00:13:05,580 --> 00:13:07,380
sexual harassment in the workplace.
221
00:13:07,660 --> 00:13:12,020
The plan was to show you guys a DVD, but
it's not working.
222
00:13:12,220 --> 00:13:16,020
So it looks like I will have to describe
everything that's going on in the video
223
00:13:16,020 --> 00:13:21,440
myself. Which is not a problem. Okay, so
they open at the water cooler. Ken and
224
00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:24,820
Dave are talking about the big game when
suddenly their attention is diverted.
225
00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:28,880
It's Samantha from Accounts Receivable.
And no, it's not her personality that
226
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:29,880
catches their attention.
227
00:13:30,260 --> 00:13:31,260
It's her breasts.
228
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:36,240
Um, I'm having a little bit of trouble
following along without the aid of a
229
00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:40,660
video. Do you mind describing how big
exactly her breasts were?
230
00:13:41,390 --> 00:13:44,210
You guys, you know, I'm just trying to
paint a picture for all of us. It's
231
00:13:44,210 --> 00:13:45,750
I don't need it, Janet. It's okay.
232
00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:49,730
I want us to be able to create an open
dialogue, so this is perfectly fine.
233
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:53,690
What are, like, ripe grapefruits? Or,
like, big perky bowling balls resting
234
00:13:53,690 --> 00:13:56,310
underneath her T -shirt? Or, like, two
prize -winning pumpkins from the county
235
00:13:56,310 --> 00:13:59,850
fair? And as far as her cleavage, were
the breasts pushed together, creating,
236
00:13:59,970 --> 00:14:02,810
like, an oversized novelty coin slot in
the middle of her chest? Or are her
237
00:14:02,810 --> 00:14:05,910
breasts more spread apart, as if she's
carrying twin infants under each arm?
238
00:14:06,090 --> 00:14:08,890
Wow. Um, okay.
239
00:14:09,190 --> 00:14:11,960
I would say... She was about a triple G.
240
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:16,500
Nice. So when she bent over to pick
something up, you could see the future.
241
00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:21,300
Jesus. Okay, moving on. Yes, back to
Samantha from Accounts Receivable.
242
00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:25,300
So as she's walking by the water cooler,
a male employee stops her and he says,
243
00:14:25,460 --> 00:14:26,480
Good morning, Samantha.
244
00:14:26,820 --> 00:14:30,120
But his eyes are really saying, I want
to Baywatch them titties.
245
00:14:30,340 --> 00:14:33,540
I have another question. Sorry to keep
asking, but I'm unfamiliar with the term
246
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:35,180
Baywatch them titties.
247
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:39,960
It means he wants to motorboat them till
his Johnson becomes The Rock.
248
00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:43,440
I'm still confused.
249
00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:48,300
I think I get it now. Right.
250
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:51,920
We're going to move on to the next
chapter of this video where we see a
251
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:57,740
employee at his desk on his laptop
looking at some very questionable
252
00:14:57,740 --> 00:14:59,160
plain view of his colleagues.
253
00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:02,620
Tasteful nudes of a swimsuit model who
paints her booty to look like a sexy
254
00:15:02,620 --> 00:15:06,580
tiger? Or is it more like a BuzzFeed
list of the top 31 celebrity nip slips?
255
00:15:06,860 --> 00:15:10,720
It was more like a Reddit thread all
about camel toe. Excuse me, can you care
256
00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:11,720
elaborate on...
257
00:15:12,110 --> 00:15:12,889
Camel toe?
258
00:15:12,890 --> 00:15:15,410
Hold on a second. Excuse me, ma 'am, can
you come up here, please?
259
00:15:15,950 --> 00:15:16,950
Don't be shy.
260
00:15:17,090 --> 00:15:18,210
This is a safe place.
261
00:15:19,130 --> 00:15:22,690
All right. See, this, my friends, is a
camel toe.
262
00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:26,190
You see how everything going on down
there is completely visible?
263
00:15:26,530 --> 00:15:29,890
It's almost as if her labia is flashing
us the Star Trek sign.
264
00:15:30,470 --> 00:15:35,330
Live long and prosper. Say it with me.
Live long and prosper. I can't see.
265
00:15:36,010 --> 00:15:39,530
I'm nearsighted, so... Honey, can you go
back there and give him a visual aid?
266
00:15:39,610 --> 00:15:40,610
Thank you so much.
267
00:15:41,180 --> 00:15:44,420
Very similar to the young lady in the
video, except she was wearing a much
268
00:15:44,420 --> 00:15:45,420
revealing top.
269
00:15:45,460 --> 00:15:48,780
Ms. Dixon, this is messed up. I mean, is
this all just about women's provocative
270
00:15:48,780 --> 00:15:53,040
clothing? No, absolutely not. You know,
in the very next chapter, we see our
271
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:56,460
male employees inappropriately flaunting
their erections.
272
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:59,360
Let me show you what I mean. Can you
come up here, please?
273
00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:04,280
I don't think this is a good time for
me. Well, if you're shy in front of
274
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:06,720
groups, it's okay to just picture
everybody naked. That's what I do.
275
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:09,080
That's the problem.
276
00:16:09,900 --> 00:16:10,900
Okay.
277
00:16:13,110 --> 00:16:17,130
Steve's on some Boogie Nights shit. So
this part of the video is when we show a
278
00:16:17,130 --> 00:16:22,350
variety of male erections as a
suggestion that our male employees
279
00:16:22,350 --> 00:16:26,270
not wear excessively tight pants that
show your breakfast sausage, if you know
280
00:16:26,270 --> 00:16:27,089
what I mean.
281
00:16:27,090 --> 00:16:29,970
I'm sorry, Ms. Dixon. It's one of the
baggiest pants I could find.
282
00:16:30,210 --> 00:16:32,590
And it's also inappropriate to stare.
283
00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:34,230
That's also in the video.
284
00:16:36,450 --> 00:16:38,350
Um, does anyone have any questions?
285
00:16:46,970 --> 00:16:50,170
Whoo! Yeah, it's going down tonight.
It's through the music video premiere.
286
00:16:50,430 --> 00:16:53,330
It's from my boy Ludacris, and here he
is with Vikings.
287
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:11,000
Longest night of life right here, man.
Damn right.
288
00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:14,200
Sun ain't never coming up, you know?
289
00:17:14,940 --> 00:17:17,839
Yeah. Some people like to drink.
290
00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:19,740
Some people like to smoke.
291
00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:21,780
Some people overthink.
292
00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:23,520
Some people overdose.
293
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:25,980
I'm just trying to get the nicest.
294
00:17:26,700 --> 00:17:27,880
Bottles on ice.
295
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:30,300
Pull some all -nighters.
296
00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:33,000
Because everybody got fights.
297
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:51,620
A couple bottles. A couple bottles. Took
a couple shots.
298
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:53,900
Took a couple shots. I don't. A couple
models.
299
00:17:54,220 --> 00:17:57,940
A couple models. I don't. A couple
shots. But from Seattle to Atlanta.
300
00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:02,580
From Philly to the beta. Only loyal. I
know the loyal.
301
00:18:02,780 --> 00:18:05,800
St. Tangeray. He gets me right every
time.
302
00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:10,300
It ain't never no fuss in a fight. And
she says she'll always be mine. That's
303
00:18:10,300 --> 00:18:11,300
why.
304
00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:37,830
Some people like to drink.
305
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:43,520
Some people like to smoke. Some people
overthink. Some people overdose.
306
00:18:43,980 --> 00:18:47,900
I'm just trying to get the nicest
bottles on ice.
307
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:53,020
Pull some all -nighters. Because
everybody got my...
308
00:19:31,550 --> 00:19:34,210
Good sex will just make them holler.
309
00:19:34,450 --> 00:19:36,150
It'll just make it better.
310
00:19:36,510 --> 00:19:40,430
And ease the stress in my mind as I
continue to go in to get this cat up and
311
00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:41,890
roll it. Let's get delighted.
312
00:19:42,230 --> 00:19:46,770
Puff, puff. Pass that thing around every
day. I get excited because this hill
313
00:19:46,770 --> 00:19:51,290
came from the ground and it was put on
the earth to smoke it. I can't think of
314
00:19:51,290 --> 00:19:55,290
better time to light it up and ask if I
want to hit it because I know that I
315
00:19:55,290 --> 00:19:56,209
can't decline.
316
00:19:56,210 --> 00:19:57,870
I know some people like to drink.
317
00:19:58,210 --> 00:19:59,690
Some people like to smoke.
27029
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