All language subtitles for 50 Central s01e09 Amistad Travel Agency

The curse words in this message have
been approved by 50 Cent.

Bitch. What's up everybody, it's your
boy Justin Hires for 50 Central.

And right now we're about to play The
Price is High.

Where you from?

Trinidad.

Do you know what BET stands for?

Uh, nope.

What you do for a living?

I model and dance.

You know what they say about short men.

No, I don't.

BET stands for Black Entertainment
Television.

Okay.

You don't seem impressed.

Do you know how long it took Negroes to
get our own network?

So what you're going to do is spin the
wheel and guess the prices of these hood

products. All right.

So are you ready, Sean?

Uh -uh, wait a minute. Yes, I'm ready.
Trying to get a hosted job? Trying to

take my job?

Well, you know what they say about tall
people.

Go for it.

Hey, man.

A pack of three.

Condoms.

How much you pay for that haircut?

That's a real question.

What's wrong with my hair? Your hairdo
and your sweater said you don't date

Keisha. You're protected. Do you use
condoms?

Yes. You hesitated.

That was a pregnant pause.

And I do mean pregnant.

Well, I know you know all about these
condoms with them white women, don't

boy? What is this?

I thought this was a game show.

My rib cage is hurting.

I need to stretch.

So we got one person who uses condoms
and another person that doesn't. It's a

walking STD right here.

But you get a good pair for like $15.

What kind do you use?

The Magnums or the Ice and Fire. Oh, you
use the Magnums? Yeah.

He's looking at our black producer.

You trying to let him know that you got
that heat down there?

Like $4?

$4 .99.

You're pretty close. You're nice.

Yeah, girl.

I would think it's like $5 or $6.

Oh, someone's doing a lot of out here.

You said $15?

Yeah. This dude's a raw dog.

He has no idea.

$4 .99.

Where, where?

Everywhere. Protect yourself, guys.
Protect yourself. Protect yourself.

I'm from Trinidad, not Jamaica. Okay, I
don't know the difference.

Spin that wheel.

Scented oil in candles, how much you
think that costs? It should be a good

Do you use scented oils?

Yeah. Can you give me some tips?

I can't help you with that. What do you
mean you can't help me? If I give it to

you, you're going to steal my move. It
should be like $3.

$5. Oh, wow.

But you knew the price of them candles,
though. Yeah.

That's what's most important.

It's very important.

$5. You were incorrect.

And that's what you get for not giving
me your cigarette.

Let's spin this wheel.

This is the church candy that, like,
your grandma had in her purse. So it's

free. You steal, don't you? You're a
thief.

$3. $3? Yeah. And you're going to go
with?

A round two.

A round two? Yeah, yeah. The 3Z?

Yeah. The 2Z? Yeah. You got a 1Z on.
What is that?

Shout out to that camel toe.

The price of church candy, 99 cents.

Oh. God.

Can I please have the mic? I think I'll
take it from here. Did you have a good

time playing the Price is I?

It's I. It's aight. It's aight. So I'm
Sean, and we've been playing The Price

Aight. Where?

Justin Hires. I will not take any
offense that you didn't know my name.

going to watch BET now?

Yeah. We should.

Black people are great.

Jim, hurry in. I can't. We'll tow a job.

Oh, my God.

All right, all right.

OK.

These be on some.

Around it and tow some.

These dirt's broken and stowed some. She
twerk.

I'm on something.

That bag coming.

You know what's up.

Yeah, it's been coming up. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's been coming up. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's Rick. I'm up.

Y 'all give it up for the host of 50
Central, 50 Cent.

Hey, you say New York City.

Welcome to another episode of 50
Central.

Give it up for DJ JQ.

Houston's on, baby.

We got music, comedy.

Give me some life advice.

Tristan and Vince, come out here.

Yo, you was talking about this earlier.
You mentioned sailing.

Yo, I can't wait to sail the high seas.

I'm going to get me a yacht someday.

Swim, too. Nah, not me, man. I don't
f*** with the ocean.

I ain't a great swimmer either.

Yeah, I don't... Because, man, an ocean
has too much power, man. It ain't doing

all that.

Wait, what do you mean it's got too much
power? That's too much power. All them

sharks and stuff in there, that's
somebody else's habitat. What do I look

swimming in?

I just know that I'm going to be
powerful and I'm going to have a yacht

okay? You should have a yacht and power.

Oh, just like you? Yeah, yeah.

Check out what happens when we let
someone with too much power get to their

head. That's right.

But not like you. Yeah.

Yes, I want to take my wife on a
vacation.

Well, you've certainly come to the right
place. Please, do sit down. Thank you.

So, what kind of trip were you looking
to take? I'm never really sure. Do you

have any recommendations? I do. I've
sent thousands of folks just like you on

vacations to the new world and haven't
heard a single complaint yet.

Take a look at just last month's cargo
loan. I mean, customers.

Customers, not cargo. There's the lift.

Yeah. I'm married.

Hey! I know him.

Crazy. Hey!

I know him. Do you?

Yes. Kofi.

Uh -huh, fellow tribesman. Hey, guess
what?

I know him.

Oh, I should have guessed. Yes, Kofi
owes me money.

Well, now you can get it back if you
take a trip to the new world.

Goodness, you can go for a very long
time. Oh, yes, it feels like forever, I

know. My wife is going to be so
surprised.

Oh, you don't know the half of it. So,
can I book you and your wife on the next

cruise to the new world? It's a cruise?

Mm -hmm.

I've never been on a big boat in the
middle of the ocean before.

Is it dangerous?

Absolutely not. In fact, we consider our
customers precious cargo. So precious,

in fact, we keep you safe and secure
underneath the boat for the whole ride.

Underneath the boat? Of course, yes. In
fact, you barely want to come up to the

deck. You'll feel chained to your
quarters.

There to die for.

Literally. It's so expensive.

Oh, not for you. We're running a special
for first -time travelers like

yourself. It won't cost you an ounce of
ivory.

That's right.

Free.

Wait a minute.

This sounds too good to be true. I'm
sorry.

No, no, no, no, no. It's really not.
Really, really. Stay, stay, stay, stay,

stay. You see, we work on an incentive
-based sales system here. We don't get

paid until you arrive safely in the new
world. Make sense?

I guess it's a good way to get repeat
business.

Exactly. What?

Yeah.

But I'm still not sold.

Oh, well, not yet you're not.

But you will be.

How are you so sure?

Because I will literally force you and
your family onto that boat if I have to.

Kidding, kidding, kidding. Look, trust
me. This trip will change your life.

You understand?

You really learn to appreciate all your
freedom.

All your friends did it. My African
friends.

Your African friends? A boat. They're
all taking trips. A white man.

Uh -huh. Three great signs.

Let's do it. All right, so that's two
tickets for you and your wife.

I can't go nowhere without my own ball
and chain.

True words have never been spoken.

This one is just getting started. See
you when we come back.

I ain't never heard a black parent count
up.

But they will count down on your ass.

You got five seconds before I come in
and I'm looking at everybody else.

30 minutes, 30 minutes.

Next up is a special segment where I
give up -and -coming

artists a platform to showcase their
talent.

I'm out.

Give it up for Leonard Hoops.

Yeah.

I'm from Virginia.

I grew up in a diverse neighborhood. My
dad was in the Navy.

I had black friends, white friends, you
know, Asians.

That's why I don't really get racism. I
don't like it. I don't understand it.

Like, it's stupid. I got to grow up
doing my favorite activities with

One of my favorite things to do growing
up was sleepovers. Remember sleepovers?

Man, you got to go over to somebody
else's house, mess their crib up, then

home.

I remember the first time I ever spent
the night over somebody's white house.

That shit was amazing.

They introduced me to Juicy Juice.

Look at black people. We ain't never had
Juicy Juice.

We had everything else. Capri Suns, Kool
-Aid, Hi -C.

We even did Tang with the monkey on the
bottle.

It was a little racist, but it was some
good juice.

They make Juicy Juice with real fruit. I
didn't know that.

I was shitting out seeds for a week. I
didn't know what was going on.

That's how you learn about people
hanging with them. I learned at white

house, you can make noise all night and
don't nobody get mad.

White parents do the opposite. White
parents will hear you playing and get

you didn't invite them to come play.

It's 3 in the morning. We at Tanner
House playing tag. All you hear is

Dads go, what in tarnations?

I was like, well, first off, what is
tarnations?

What are you two busters in there doing?
He's like, I'm sorry, Father. We're

playing tag. He said, without me?

I said, well, I got something for you
two because I admit you better hide.

One, two.

Not no black parents.

I ain't never heard a black parent count
up.

But they will count down on your ass.

You got five seconds before I come in
there and I'm whooping everybody ass.

One thing I can say about black people,
though, we treat you like family.

You wanted us while you with us.

But that can backfire.

Because if we ain't doing good, neither
are you.

I'm at my best friend Daria's house one
time. I remember we was having dinner.

It's me, him, his dad, his mom, his
sister. His dad decided it's the perfect

time to announce to this family he got
another family they didn't know nothing

about.

Messed the whole sleepover up.

Now they at the table looking at me
talking about something. What we gonna

What we gonna do?

I'm like, what we gonna do?

If y 'all got some aluminum foil, I'm
gonna go ahead and wrap my plate up.

I see y 'all got a little family
situation y 'all trying to work on.

His dad told me, you think you need a
ride in the morning? I said, it look

I need a ride tonight.

Because y 'all about to be on the news.

My little sister in college.

She's 19.

She's dating now.

Met her boyfriend for the first time.

Her boyfriend like 6 '3", 240, all
muscle.

Yeah, that's how quiet I got when he
walked in the house.

She had a nerd that asked me, well, what
would you do if he hit me? I was like,

well, what would you do if he hit you?

I'm going to do whatever you do.

You scream, I'm going to scream. It's
going to sound like a little choir in

here. I ain't no punk. You know, I was
raised right. You know, you don't put

your hands on a woman and you don't
allow nobody to while you're standing

But if I can't change the outcome, I
might not say nothing because it ain't

need for me to add to the body count.

You know what I mean? He wasn't
expecting to hit two people. That's too

work for that man. You know what I mean?

So I went to the club one night.

and this dude just slapped his
girlfriend in front of the whole club.

And I'm thinking, like, I'm going to go
say something, but I'm thinking some

other dude's been raised right too, and
we're going to band together like a

little, like a church gang or something
and go say something as a unit. You ever

try to say something tough to somebody
that's actually tough?

Yeah, it's stupid. You shouldn't even,
you shouldn't do that. But when they

speak to you, it scare you.

I walked up to him. I'm like, hey, dude.

I'm like, you know you ain't supposed to
put your hands on these females like

that. He looked at me. He said, nah, I
hit dudes, too. I said, dang.

I didn't know he was hitting everybody.
They didn't tell me he was hitting

everybody. They said it was ladies'
night. I thought it was only hitting

Nah, I'm scared because I'm a dude, but
I got titties, too, so I don't know if

he's going to hit me twice.

Is it K? He bi -flaps me. I ain't never
seen nobody.

Hey, y 'all been a lot of fun, man. I'm
the other dudes. Thank y 'all.

They're cool.

Be both them bitches. When his eyes are
closed, switch the wigs. And he opened

his eyes, and he's like, damn, baby,
that's you. And you say, no, it's not.

me.

All right, all right.

OK.

Guys,

is it weird if I ask you some sexual
advice?

No, I mean. I mean, if you want. We in
front of the company.

Oh, cool. No.

I met this real freaky chick.

I like where this is going. Okay.

She's agreed to have a threesome with
me, but we had a little disagreement on

how it's going to go down.

Okay. My idea is the third person should
be some hot chick we meet off the

Internet. Her idea is the third person
should be one of my friends.

Well, how cute is the friend?

Oh, no, no, like a guy friend.

Yeah, I'm not really an expert in this
field. I mean, you want to help me? Like

a cute one.

I'm not an expert either, but... Our
girl Toya is an expert, so why don't we

check out her. Let's hear some advice
from her, from Toya. Yeah.

So many beautiful people.

Yeah.

What's up, y 'all? Thanks for tuning in
for this week of Toya Teaches. Now, this

letter comes from Mercedes from Las
Vegas, Nevada.

See, look.

Last time I went to Vegas, I got to tell
you, I was with this dude. He was a big

drug dealer. And he had lost $10 ,000
playing blackjack. And I told him, next

time you want to throw $10 ,000 in a
black hole, you could pay a big rent for

years.

Anyhoo, so Mercedes said, dear Toya, my
man is a real freak.

He wants to have a threesome. Should I
do it?

Hell no.

First of all, this what happened to my
cousin's best friend's homeboy's

girlfriend, that she had a threesome
with her man.

When she had went to the bathroom and
came back, they was looking each other

the eye.

So this is what you do.

Your man want to have a threesome?
That's cool.

Be both them bitches.

Just switch it up. Have you a wig next
to the nightstand.

And when y 'all change positions and he
closing his eyes because it's real good.

And when his eyes are closed, switch the
wig. You could be a white bitch. And he

open his eyes and he's like, damn bae,
that's you. And you say, no, it's not.

It's me.

I've never had black before.

I've never had white. chicken oh i've
never had collard greens oh i've never

been to a black thanksgiving just start
saying all kind of wild shit like that

bitch you gonna rock his mother world
when you do that and then when it's

getting real good again

And then you're going to switch to
another way that's on the nightstand.

could turn into a Spanish girl right on
his ass. You put that little wet curly

wig on. He's going to be like, babe, is
that you? You're going to be like, hola,

como esta? No, cara tita o puletita.

Uno,

dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, seis, nueve,
ocho. Ay, papi, papi. And he's going to

be like, damn, that shit sexy.

And then, if you really, really want to
spite. it up you could be the british

girl oh yes i've never been to america
before i want tea and crumpets please

give me my green card my green card and
say green car about 10 times while you

look at him in the eye he gonna climax
so the answer is if you want to have a

threesome be both of them bitches wigs
on a nice thing and tell me what

tune in next week for toy teachers where
i get your life

all the way together. It may say your
hashtag, so you sign up, hashtag rent

dude, hashtag real talk, hashtag black
girl magic, hashtag melanin AF, and

hashtag I kill you if you leave me.

Tune in next time.

All right, all right.

That's it for tonight's show, but we got
something a little extra for you.

Another music video world premiere right
here. Enjoy.

I do this for all of my haters. All of
my haters is family.

I just go off of my haters. All of my
haters is family.

Homies, you see me around.

I call them haters, my family.

I just go off of my haters. All of my
haters is family.

All of my haters is family.

All of my haters is family. All of my
haters is family.

Homies, you see me around.

I call them haters, my family.

Now I just blow up my head. Now I just
blow up my head.

It's always a go on my head. Never say
no to my head. Nah, nah. Most of this

talking about it. I'd rather show you my
head. Look how we made it. We come from

the bottom. Miss all my homies. Them
still got them. I won't revenge on them.

Let's shout them. Break to the heavens.
Gonna hope that you got them. Only

family. I don't fuck with hitters.

Only depend on a couple hitters. Hitters
stay firm and they won't budge. Don't

need the same blood to be rubbing
hitters.

I do this for all of my head. All of my
head is a family.

I just blow up my head.

All of my haters is family.

All of my haters is family.

All of my haters is family.

All of my haters is family. All of my
haters is family. All of my haters is

family. All of my haters is

family.

Yeah, I keep killers around.

That's just my family now. My family
now. Love all my hitters, they know it.

Love all my hitters, they know it. Love
all my hitters, they know it. Never too

proud to show it. Pop like a bottle of
Moet. Pop like a bottle of Moet. We were

just trying to school.

We ain't have nothing to lose. What I
want, I want for you too. Put down this

cat in a pencil.

Quickly, you grab me a pencil.

I don't think you understand me.

All of these is my family.

I do this for all of my hitters. All of
my hitters is family.

I just go off of my head, all of my head
is this family.

The moment you see me around, I call
them in as my family.

I just go off of my head, all of my head
is this family.

All of my head is this family.

All of my head is this family.

The moment you see me around, I call
them in as my family.