All language subtitles for 13_nights_of_elvira_s01e12_trancers

Oh, hello there, darling.

Yeah, it's me again, that gal with the
show who can't say no.

Well, actually, I did say no once, but
that was only when I was asked if I'd

ever said no before.

El Tyra, Mistress of the Dark.

Oh, that's my password, so don't tell
nobody, okay?

I was just checking my facey, hype -me
-ego, self -centered book tweet trending

status. Thanks to Taylor Swift, I am
very aware of how important social media

in the prevention of social diseases.

Whoa, looks like my tag has been hashed
quite a bit lately.

I am right up there behind Demi Lovato,
Ice Buckets, and Chris Pratt.

Ooh, I wish I was behind Chris Pratt.

You know, I've always considered myself
to be a social lubricant. I like my

conversations like I like my clothes.

Short and easy to get out of.

But now I'm cutting to the chatter and
getting down to the matter.

Today, or tonight, depending on the
shift you're working, I have dug through

anals of Cinema Schlock and found a real
loser, er, winner.

And I've got two big reasons why you
should watch.

One, two.

People are always telling me, Elvira, it
is wrong for you to exploit your body.

And I always say, hey, I mean,
opportunity only gives you knockers

Or twice if you can afford it.

Anyway, I like the dress to impress. And
trust me, this dress definitely leaves

an impression on everybody.

Especially me.

Owie. Ouch.

I think my bra's really alive.

Down, girl. Down.

Whoa. Okay, back in the movie.

Tonight's sixth flick is called... seed
people.

But it ain't about some guy named Johnny
Apple and it's not an ad for this.

Thank you for national health care.

It's science fiction.

Now you know science fiction is just
another way of saying it don't have to

sense because we was just making it up
as we go along.

So let's sow our wild oats and get
plowed because it's time to spread some

people.

Bye.

You've got to let me go.

Come on.

You've injured your head, Mr. Bates.

Stop struggling.

I'll help you.

You have to listen to me.

I've got to talk to the authorities.
There's not much time. We have to hurry.

I can't go anywhere in your condition.

So help me.

Special Agent Weems, FBI.

You're going to suffer a mysterious
concussion.

Will you get out of this room at once?

Landon, would you help me, please?

Help me?

You're Tom Baines, a geologist with the
State Geodetic Survey Office.

I am, and please help me. You're
interfering with a medical emergency.

I'm a federal law enforcement officer.
This man is under my care. I have to

to him right now. This is a matter of
national security. If you interrupt

Doctor, I'll place you under arrest.

So, you know, what did you give him?

He's a mild sedative. He's all right.

So you know about them?

That's why I'm here, Tom.

You've got to make sure that I destroyed
all of them.

Okay, just start from the beginning and
tell me everything you remember

happening from the time you got to Comet
Valley.

It's all right, Mr. Bates.

You see, there was... There was only one
way in or out of Comet Valley.

Comet Valley Bridge.

When I arrived, they were closing it
three days for repairs.

I remember thinking, here I am again in
Comet Valley with no way out.

Same way I felt growing up before I left
for graduate school.

I didn't mind it.

This time my old girlfriend Heidi had
turned her family's home into a bed and

breakfast.

It was the only place on that side of
the bridge where I could rent a room.

Jeez, cut to the chase already. You
really think the FBI gives a rat's ass

who you used to date?

Hi, Tom.

I never would have dreamed that the next
time you and I would see each other

that you would be the innkeeper and I
would be the paying guest.

If you feel uncomfortable about it, you
can always stay at Frank's.

He's got a place near the orchard.

It's fine by me.

I mean, if it's okay with you.

Yeah. I think we're both adults enough
to handle it.

Good.

Really.

Oh, yeah, sure.

Thanks. You're our only customer while
the bridge is out, so you pretty much

the run of the place.

Good for Kim.

Very nice. The place looks good.

You've changed the place a lot.

But you haven't changed.

That's supposed to be a compliment.

You missed by a mile.

Well, it is, and you look great.

I'm not the complacent little butterfly
I was when you and I were an item.

Complacent? When Sally died, I not only
lost my sister -in -law, I lost my best

friend.

Yeah, I know. It must have been hard.

Yeah, it still is.

I mean, I'm the designated mother for
Kim now.

She's going through a difficult age, and
I just take it one day at a time.

So what's it like changing your home
into a bed and breakfast?

What's it like being divorced but still
living with your ex -wife?

Heidi, I don't live there. I just
haven't moved my stuff out.

It's nothing personal.

I'm just telling you what it's like to
turn your home into a B &B.

We do our late dinner early at 6.

Well, thanks, but Thurman and I will be
tied up. We have a lot of catching up to

do.

Okay. Tell Thurman to send him home.

You betcha.

An old friend had asked me back to give
a talk about meteorites.

He hadn't warned me that they had become
such a controversial subject.

Somebody's fooling around in that
orchard at night, Thurman.

Hell, Ed, I'm a county agent, not the
sheriff.

Look, I got a crop I gotta get in. Now,
something's gotta be done about this.

All right, but even if there are people
out there, what harm can they be doing?

What harm can they be doing? I can't
believe you're saying this to me.

Hi, Thurman. I was worried you weren't
going to get here before the bridge

closed. You're looking good. Looking
good, Ed. How are you?

I was just trying to tell Thurman here,
you fellas ought to stop stirring up

these meteorite nuts.

All we're doing is asking people to keep
a lookout for any unusual stones, Ed.

Yeah, and three nights in a row, I got
lights out in one of my orchards.

Damn bunch of rock collectors.

What's the problem with that, Ed?

Ever since Thurman found this little old
rock who claims it's a meteorite, I got

people tramping around my orchard.

All right, Ed, you're just drinking too
much of that homemade hard cider.

You just imagine things.

I'm going to be laying for him till I
catch one.

He was mad.

It had surprised me when Ed didn't shake
hands.

The only person that I'd expected that
from was Brad Yates.

We'd always been competitors.

He was the deputy sheriff now.

I'm still chasing Heidi.

What's the matter? This isn't like you,
Kim.

There's nothing wrong with me. It's not
Santiago who's weird.

Please make her go away.

Kimmy. I can't stand to be around her.

That's enough, Kim. She's going to hear
you. She doesn't have to. She reads my

mind.

I'll videotape her when she doesn't know
it. You'll see.

Just let her know I'm a feminist friend.

Maybe she's finally dealing with Sally's
death.

After five years?

She's a child, Frank.

Sheriff Yates is here.

No, no, not yet.

Still just a deputy.

Hey, Frank. Hello, Brad.

Well, I got an orchard to irrigate.

And don't worry about Kim, Frank. I'll
help her work it out. All right.

Dependent on you, sis.

As always.

See you later, Brad.

Take care, Frank.

Kim got some kind of problem?

Yeah, just once for a difficult day.

How's it going with the bridge?

Okay.

I ran into Tom Baines out there today.

I told you he was coming in for a couple
days to hunt meteorites with Thurman.

Yeah, but you didn't tell me you were
staying here.

You can always tell me you're about
ready to take a stupid pill.

Have I said anything?

What's the big deal about Tom staying
here?

This is a bed and breakfast. That's what
I do. I rent rooms and I provide meals.

Look, what am I supposed to do? Am I
supposed to be tickled pink? Well, if

insist. My boyfriend's going to be
running around here in his shorts.

Uh -oh.

Something bad's going to happen because
the music's telling my brain something

bad's going to happen.

You know something bad's going to happen
when you hear that rattling sound and

then you hear birds chirping, but there
ain't no birds.

And then you go poking a stick into a
corsage filled with 2 % milk.

Ew. That's the way my dog cleaned his
butt on my carpet.

Hello? This is Frank.

Frank? This is Thurman. Got a minute?

Hello, Frank?

Frank, you hear me?

Can't believe it.

Frank's pissed at me, too.

You see, I didn't know it yet, but they
were already there.

I mean, did I get them all?

I mean, what about Heidi and Brad and
Kim?

I mean, what are you doing to make sure
that I got all of them?

Here, let me make you more comfortable.

Lift your head.

Good. Now just try to remember.

Oh, I remember. I remember everything.

What about Doc Roller?

Did Thurman take you to field?

No, I didn't know about Doc then.

Listen, I wanted to talk to you about
Doc Rowland.

Oh, yeah? About what?

Well, he tried to buy a case of whiskey
for me last night. Now, I wouldn't sell

him but two -fifths, and he gave me
quite an earful.

You did the right thing.

I'll keep an eye out for him.

Thanks, Brad.

You keep an eye on my liquor store.

You bet.

All right. You have a good time. Bye
-bye.

Substation 14, 8 a .m. Com, check over.

Substation 14, this is Central.

Is that you, Brad?

Nope, this is Fraser.

Deputy Yates just arrived, if you'd like
to speak with him.

Negative. Tell him just because the
bridge is closed, it doesn't mean he's

authorized to stay shacked up with his
girlfriend.

That's a big Roger, and Deputy Yates
sends his respects to you, too.

Roger that, Central out.

So you came up here when you were a kid?

Yeah, whenever I could get some pretty
little senior reader to come up here

me.

Wow, what memories.

Did he say memories?

Wow.

Five or six hundred years ago, some
Indian stood right here with a stick, a

of... Iron oxide and pitch and drew the
damnedest thing that he ever saw in his

life. Do you think that Indian saw a
comet sailing somewhere out in space?

Well, I think what we're looking at here
is a... is an eyewitness drawing of

some major, major meteor fault.

Almost everybody in Comet Valley was
acting a bit weird.

I didn't think that much about it until
the incident with Kim.

I was in my room putting together some
slides for a talk I was giving to the

fireball club that night.

GOOOO -

Can I be of any help?

A couple of days ago, Kim starts this
thing about Mr. Santiago being

Possessed? Possessed by what? I mean,
what are we dealing with here? Devils?

exorcist? I don't know.

I told her to go back home with Frank
this morning, but no, she can't do that

because he's not really her father
anymore.

He's one of them, too.

Heidi.

They're paying guests, remember?

You know, I went up to Indian Canyon
today.

Reminded me of when we used to go back
there.

It's all over now, Tom.

Okay.

And if we're going to clear the air, why
don't you tell me something?

Why haven't you and Brad gotten married?

Because I'm still waiting for him to get
his head out of his ass.

Frank left the irrigation system off.

What the heck is that?

What in the ding -dong -heck -a -ma
-doodle -hell is that?

Looks like these two blossoms have
already gone to seed.

Not this one, Ed.

All of them, Ed.

Look out! The tree's gone! Catch!

See, I still didn't know what was going
on.

I didn't have a clue.

Nobody did.

It wouldn't have mattered much anyhow,
though, because the bridge closed at

sundown.

We were trapped.

What about Doc Roller, Tom?

Did you see him at the fireball club
when you were giving your talk?

No.

No, Thurman hadn't invited Doc.

He felt there was too much skepticism
about the meteorites anyhow.

And if people thought that Doc was
involved with us, it would be even

get their cooperation.

Doc had the reputation of being a town
nut.

Nobody considered him dangerous.

Everyone figured he was just a harmless
old oddball.

Hi, everybody.

I think I've had a chance to say hello
to everybody, but if not, I'm Tom

and thank you very much for having me.

It's always been assumed that this local
rock drawing depicts a comet, which is,

of course, how we got our name here,
Comet Valley.

When a meteoroid comes into Earth's
gravity field, it's usually destroyed by

atmosphere. Those who survived the
plunge to Earth are called meteorites.

This is a picture of the meteorite
Thurman found about a mile from here.

You know, he could have run into a tree,
but he didn't want to ruin his paint

job, so he ran over his friend.

And it's possible that what we've always
assumed was a comet, and the pictograph

is actually a meteorite, and that it may
be out there for one of us to find.

I'm Bert Mosley.

I didn't want to say anything in there.
I don't want people to think I've gone

crackpot. I've already got one crackpot.

About what, Bert?

I got a funny rock I want you to take a
look at.

I was digging a trench with a backhoe
the other day, getting ready to lay some

irrigation pipe, and the blade hit
something hard.

And I climbed down to take a look, and
here's what I found.

What do you think?

Well, I have never seen anything like
this, my friend.

Never. What do you say we pull her out
of here and take her over to Thurman's

warehouse so I can run some tests on her
and get a little better look at it?

Sure, whatever you want to do.

You think it looks like a meteorite?

Yes, sir, I sure do.

I sure do. And even better than that,
you see the sediment that she's stuck in

here, I can pull this and do a carbon
date on it.

Yeah. Then I'll be able to tell when she
fell to Earth.

If it was about 400 or 500 years ago.

You may have the rock in the pictograph
there, my friend.

This might be the Comet Valley
meteorite.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Come, Jay.

Come, Jay.

Substation again.

Great.

So, uh, how about I just go into the
house after I'm done?

Yeah, that'll be all right.

You haven't seen Thurman anywhere, have
you?

No.

Why, you need a check on his house?

No, I just came from there.

Well, I'll patrol around a little before
I hit the sack. Yeah, fine. I think

I'll just stretch out here for a minute.

Give me a call when you get home, will
you? Okay.

You crazy old fool. What are you doing?

You don't understand.

I've got to stop them.

Give me the hatchet, Doc. Now stay back.

You may be one of them.

A giant rolling turd. Could be Gary
Busey. Request hazmat unit.

So what do you think?

It looks like a peach pit.

It does, doesn't it?

Thurman is going to be surprised.

When he finally shows up.

Mrs. Santiago killed him.

Kim. She hypnotized Dad, too.

You promised that if I made Mrs.
Santiago take a week off, you'd stop

nonsense. She hasn't left yet.

Tom's gonna think that everybody in
Comet Valley's crazy.

Well, not Kim.

Here, look after this.

You're a pretty good guy, Tom.

Pretty cool yourself, too, you know?

The smile of yours lights up the whole
room like your Aunt Heidi.

I'm going to get going.

Thanks for letting me see it. You bet.

See you.

I meant it when I said that your smile
lights up the room.

Tom, I know that...

He's PO'd.

Brad, what's wrong?

Thurman's dead.

Hit and run.

And I know the son of a bitch that did
it, too.

There's only one vehicle in Comet Valley
with hubcaps like these.

And it belongs to Doc Roller.

Oh, my God.

I've got big problems. I sent Frazier
over to check the relay switches.

I don't know where the hell the guy is.
He said he'd call me.

I'll run over to the substation and
check on it, Brad.

That's all right, Tom.

I can handle it by myself.

I was just about to say how handy I am
with electrical stuff. No, Tom, I can

handle it.

My sister!

Tom? Are you all right?

Tom? Are you hurt?

No.

I'm okay.

Something strange.

Mr. Santiago.

What's the matter, Mr. Banks?

Tom, what happened?

I don't know.

I'll have to let you know when I figure
it out.

It's not what you thought it would be,
is it?

Oh, you can't imagine.

You can't begin to imagine.

Okay, take it easy.

Just take it. Come on.

I'm bulletproof.

They can't get me. None of them can get
at me.

You're one of them, I bet.

Whose side are you on? Are you on the
side of science?

Why don't you just put the gun down and
we'll talk about it, okay?

It's dark, isn't it?

J. Bell Roller, Ph .D.

Propagator emeritus of planet Earth.

The question is, are you one of them or
one of us?

I suppose you don't know that what you
are examining is not mineral.

So why don't you tell me what it is
then, Doc?

This was the goal of the leaf and the
root.

This little grain is the ultimate fruit.

For this did the blossom burn its hour.

This is the awesome vessel of power.

I'll tell you what it is.

It is a tether.

And where there is tether, there is a
seed.

He's looking for me, you know.

Yeah, I know.

All he wants to do is talk to you about
Thurman, Doc.

Yes,

yes, of course.

Go and fetch the deputy.

We'll do that.

We will talk about Thurman.

Once again, just take it easy.

Go on, once again.

He's entitled.

What?

Doc Roller.

He's got a gun.

Brad, just give him a chance to come
out. You stay the hell out of this, Tom.

You're on my turf now.

Nice work, Tom.

You let him get away.

He indicated he was giving up, Brad. He
asked me to come get you.

Giving up?

Is that why he completely demolished the
communications gear at the substation?

I don't know what you're talking about.
Found Frazier's patrol car, too.

No, Frazier.

He may have murdered a police officer
and you let him walk out of here.

So what was I supposed to do?

Eat the gun and throw him over my
shoulder?

I don't know, Tom.

You're the guy that went to college. You
should have been smart enough to think

of something.

Yeah, out to beauty college.

Burt Mosley had a big greenhouse
operation near Heidi's place.

I knew that Doc Roller and Burt had
worked together, so I went up there to

if Burt could help me find him.

Hi, Burt.

Got a minute?

Phones are out.

None of my workers showed up.

I'm busy hearing the one -legged man at
an ass -kicking contest.

Yeah, I can see that.

Listen, I was wondering if you could
tell me how to get to Doc Roller's

Yeah, just follow this road on up to the
top of the canyon. You can't miss it.

What about my meteorite?

Well, I'm going to have to do some more
tests on that at the university.

Why are you looking for Doc?

You heard about Thurman, didn't you?

Yeah, I did.

You think Doc could have done that?

Come on inside here. I got to spray
herbicide before it gets dark.

Here's what I think.

Doc didn't do it. Not on purpose,
anyhow.

Well, you know, they say he's been
drinking.

Doc's been drinking a little lately,
it's true, but drunk or not, he wouldn't

leave a little herbicide in the road.

Sounds like you know Doc pretty well,
huh?

Sure.

He and I used to do experiments
propagating stuff under ultraviolet

Watch out around that stuff, Tom.

Stronger than five tons of monkey piss.

You trying to help him catch Doc?

Well... Tell you the truth, I want to
talk to him about your meteorite.

Well, you won't find him up at his lab.

I was up there earlier.

One more thing about Doc Roller.

He may talk crazy, but that don't mean
he doesn't know what he's talking about.

I waited until after dark before I went
to Doc's place.

I didn't find Doc when I found his lab.

The whole place was lit with ultraviolet
light, and that's when I realized Birch

Meteorite wasn't the only one.

Okay, I don't know any girl who can
change her clothes that fast.

Is that a camera or a lunchbox?

Sometimes you feel like a nut.

You know, sometimes you don't.

I just got back from Doc Roller's lab.

What are you doing in here?

I think he's got another meteorite there
exactly like Bert.

Where's Tim?

He's in the den sleeping.

You're going to wake him. I'm listening
to what I've got to say to him.

Is this some elaborate ruse to get into
my bed?

No. I think that I know why Doc killed
Thurman and destroyed the communication

systems.

Just calm down.

All I need right now is Kim waking up
and finding you in here.

The meteorites are seeds.

The meteorites are seeds? Yes.

And there's something terribly wrong
going on here.

Oh, is everyone going crazy?

He's already tried to sprout one in a
hydroponic tank.

It's all here in the book.

He's already sprouted one here. And you
know the piece that I took from Bert's

meteorite? It's not mineral hidey, it's
pesticide.

Tom. You know what Testa is?

Testa's seed covering.

Am I the only sane person left?

Tom?

Heidi, Mrs. Santiago, this is the
creature. This is the creature I saw in

room with her, Heidi.

If you say another word, I'm going to
have a complete mental breakdown and

scream. Heidi, I saw this in the room!

Mom!

Leave! Hey, what happened to the part
about the mental breakdown and the

screaming?

Yes?

I'm looking at some lights, the trees.

Looks like a bunch of people.

I can't really tell what they're doing,
so I'm going to move closer.

Looks like they're looking for
something.

I can't really tell.

One

of

them just went by.

Here comes another one.

Oh, my God. She's going over me now.

Hey!

What are you doing?

Come here, honey.

Daddy wants to talk to you.

You're not my daddy!

No,

she was gonna have to walk home.

Lucky for her, she ran into some
friends.

Ava tranquilizer. If I had another one,
I'd make you take it.

Why don't you just try to believe in
what she says? I don't want to hear any

more of this, especially from you.

Camera. She incorporates the fact that
the camera was run over into her

What do you mean?

She says that she got everything she saw
on tape.

That worked for her.

Camera's ruined, and I can't prove to
her that she didn't.

Damn it, Tom!

You were the only person having a good
influence on her, and now she thinks you

believe that, too.

Heidi.

I'm sorry.

I don't want to leave her alone.

Ew, I feel itchy just looking at that
quilt.

That wallpaper's so loud, it'd keep
anyone awake.

Heidi, this is the journal that I took
from Doc Roller's lab that I showed you

last night.

Now, I fixed Tim's tape, and I want you
to watch it. It's a little screwed up.

But watch it with an open eye, okay?

Okay, that's what she saw last night.

Tom, this doesn't prove anything. This
is just darkness.

These spots of light could be anything.

Just hold on a second.

That. That's what I saw in the room with
Mr. Santiago.

And that's what's in Doc Roller's
journal, Heidi.

Oh, my God.

That's one of them in, Heidi.

See?

Well, now you know why your cell phone
coverage is so crappy.

Tom, be careful.

Brad, some of this stuff can be fixed.
We're going to have to hike out of here.

That's crazy. It'll take days to hike
around the mountain to get to a road.

What do you want to do? Just wait here
for them to find us? What about Brad and

Frank?

Frank is one of them.

He can't be sure about anyone anymore.

No one's been hurt.

He's dead, but Doc Roller got him.

Why don't you stop pretending that
everything is going to be okay, okay?

got to get out of this valley.

Yeah, go ahead and run away. That's what
you always do, isn't it?

Aunt Heidi!

Is it Brad?

No, it's Frazier.

Jesus Christ.

Why are you going to stop rolling? What
difference does it make?

I'm not going to run away.

Fred!

Fred!

Doc's involved in this. You showed us
the journal.

Heidi, Doc didn't kill Frazier, for
Christ's sake. Nobody human can do

like that.

We don't know what we're dealing with.

Doc knows something, Heidi, and he can
help us. Now, I've got to find him.

You two stay here.

And don't let anybody in here. Do you
understand me? Nobody.

Good luck to you.

Oh, boy.

You're one of them. Just like I figured.

Stay back.

I have my lights.

Haven't I?

My lights will weaken you.

And then I'll chop you to pieces.

I'm not one of them, Doc.

Whatever they are.

I'm here to help you.

You don't fool me.

They got you, just like they got Frank
and Ed.

Now, they ran from the ultraviolet.
Let's see how you light it.

Oh, no, my battery.

So that's what the lights are about.

Let's see if you bleed chlorophyll.

Newman, I don't go without a fight. Put
the hatchet down, Doc.

This one's got bullets in it.

A gun.

And you're not one of them.

Yeah, and I'm asking the questions now.
What'd you run Thurman over for?

They did it for Frank and Ed.

But they deceived people inside them.

I was coming to warn you before it was
too late. Yeah, and I was at your lab

last night, and you're trying to sprout
another one, aren't you?

No.

The tank was full of herbicide.

That one I killed.

There was only one seed as produced.

Yeah, but the stuff I've seen, there's
got to be more than just plants there.

Plants are the most cunning and savage
of all life

forms. Yeah, but they're rooted, Doc.
What can they do?

But seeds, seeds are travelers.

Creepers, hoppers, parachuters,
hitchhikers.

Seeds can chase us. We are being chased
by seeds which were sown on the winds of

the universe.

This is a snapshot of their arrival on
planet Earth.

They were fossilized seeds from giant
prehistoric plants.

I had no idea that they contained
intelligent life forms from another

Or I've taken precautions earlier.

You know, when... When I was sprouting
one,

I discovered that they cannot tolerate

Heavy doses of ultraviolet light.

If you are under UV, they can't enter
your mind.

But why would aliens turn to seeds?

It's the perfect vehicle for space
travel.

Seeds can endure heat and cold and time.

There are lotus plants in the National
Arboretum.

that were sprouted from seeds found in
Inktut's tomb.

No good to be drunk, Doc.

I'm no good either way.

I have unleashed a terrible thing on the
world.

You kill this one, and we can kill the
one Bert found.

Now get over here and help me take these
lights down.

But there are still three seed
creatures.

Radiation may not work. Listen, what is
a living can be killed.

You said that.

Now help me get these down.

Oh, my God.

Doctor, stay put.

It's Frank.

Don't go near him. How do you camera in
there for Christ's sake? Shut up.

Leaving Tom? Way not to come to the
rescue.

There was nothing I could do but follow
them.

You had a gun.

Why didn't you try to stop them?

Because I knew the creature was alive
inside of Frank and it would have done

good.

Don't you understand?

You can't kill a cactus with a bullet.
You have to hack it into thousands of

pieces. That's why you have to get back
up there now. Maybe I didn't get them

all. Maybe there are hundreds more of
them still running around.

Let me go out of this thing. Come on.

Take it easy, Tom.

We will let you up.

I just have to hear the whole story.

You think I am some kind of lunatic or
something? You think I'm hallucinating

here just because I got hit in the head?

Well, I'm not.

This is true. It's real.

I do believe you, Tom.

Now, what about Doc?

Did he go with you when you followed
Brad and Heidi?

Yeah, Doc was with me the whole way.

We followed them out to a place past the
substation.

We followed them to a field near Ed
Buster's orchard.

What the hell are they doing, planting?

No.

Seeds only grow in deep, acid -rich
topsoil, like the orchard.

They're digging up another one.

Seed?

Something huge. Take a look at that.

It's a cone.

A seed cone.

A cone?

Hundreds of seeds.

They didn't travel here as individual
seeds.

They came as components of a larger
body.

Hundreds of seeds?

We can't stop them. There are too many.

You just said that they can only grow in
the orchard, right? They can't grow

anywhere else in this canyon. There's
not enough topsoil.

We'll have to go right by the
substation.

Come on. Where? What do we do? We aren't
thinking big enough, Doc. Come on.

What the hell is going on here?

You need your lights, Bert.

That's why they never got you. The
ultraviolet makes you immune.

What's the difference if you've been
drinking?

Frank Ed and Mrs. Santiago aren't people
anymore.

They've been taken over by some alien
life form. Come from seeds, like the one

you found.

You're talking about my meteorite? Your
meteorite's not a meteorite.

It's a seed, and that's how they got
here.

My meteorite's a seed? You got it.

Okay, that's it.

Both of you out of here before I throw
you out. Get out of here!

No,

I mean business here.

I need your herbicides and I need your
sprayer. Now, you make the choice.

Make yourselves at home.

Mi casa es su casa.

Burt Mosley learned a long time ago
don't argue with crazy people carrying

Get out.

Get out.

We've got to get out of here.

No, I can't.

I've got to have the car. I need those
livestock.

Be careful, he's got a gun.

Where are they, Bert?

I'm going to have to run for the truck.

Stay low and behind me.

And remember kids, eat your vegetables

before they eat you.

Okay, Doc, let's get a move on. I'm
going to need all this wire.

They don't even see us. They see us.

We're just irrelevant.

They see the seed.

They don't like that ultraviolet light.

Don't go, Tom.

I've got to get out of here.

It's the ultraviolet light.

Tom?

Come on, everybody. Let's head for the
tanning salon.

Now boarding seed, seeded in rows 1
through 7.

Now planting rows seeded in 8 through
15.

8 through 15 only.

I think we made it.

Not yet, Doc. Huh? I want you to hook
these two up here, and I'm going to run

on the hill and pull the electricity
down.

Now boarding all standby seating.

All standby seating, please.

Look at Kim and Frank.

They've got to think that we're still
like they are. Don't show any emotion.

I'm not going by the substation.

Hold on.

I'm going for it!

Stop! Yeah? Grab hold of her.

You ready here?

I appeal to you as a scientist, Tom,
save one of the seeds. We have to

one of them. Don't start with me now,
Doc. I don't want to hear this.

I know how to control it now.

We don't let it pollinate. Don't you
see? It'll be harmless that way. We

let it go to seed.

Just one of them, Tom.

How about enough people have been
killed?

Now, when I throw this switch, you get
your butt over these lights.

Thank you.

Can we ask you just a few more
questions?

And the next thing I knew, I woke up
here in this hospital.

The medication's wearing off.

Listen, I don't need any more of this
medication.

I told you everything that I know.

What are you waiting for? What's
happened to Heidi and the others?

They're okay, Tom.

As a matter of fact, they're waiting in
the other room.

Heidi's here?

I want to figure.

Sure, Tom.

Just one more thing.

What happened to Doc Roller after he
grabbed those power cables?

He was electrocuted.

He was burned so badly he couldn't even
recognize him.

Where's Heidi?

roller is dead.

Then we don't have anyone else to worry
about, do we?

Not anymore.

No. No!

No!

No!

No! No!

You know, If you don't count the
similarities, like

the seed pods coming from outer space,
taking over human bodies, Seed People is

not all like Invasion of the Body
Snatchers.

Not at all.

Except for the rest of the similarities.

But the one thing that really made this
movie stand out was the giant rolling

transforming turd.

Seed People went on to sprout several
sequels, including Seedier People and

clone, Seediest People, starring Gary
Busey as himself.

That sound can only mean one thing.

I've been canceled.

Or it's time for the 489th Elvie Awards.

Yes, it's the Elvie Awards. Much heavier
than the Oscar, harder to clean than an

Emmy, and much easier to buy than the
Golden Globe.

It's the Elvie Awards, brought to you
by...

Insert advertiser here.

And now, here I am, your host and
franchise owner, me, Elvira.

Thank you so much. Thank you so much.
Thank you so much. In

advance, for all the cards and flowers
and text you'll be sending.

Thank you so much for that canned
laughter.

Now, remember... Please participate on
our canned laughter drive for kids with

no sense of humor syndrome.

Okay, next card.

No, next one.

No, no, no, the one after that.

Oh, okay, okay. Now it's time for the
coveted Elvie Award. The Elvie Award

to the actor whose performance made me
gag with emotion and choke on my own

tears like I was being waterboarded. And
the nominees are... Some Old Geezer.

What in the ding -dong heck -a -ma
-doodle -hell is that?

The voiceover guy.

We followed them out to a place past the
substation.

And some guy named Fred.

Well, I got an orchard to irrigate.

And the LV goes to... Envelope, please.

$57 .92.

Hey, wait a minute. This is like half
bills.

Give me the other envelope, please.
Thank you.

The LV goes to...

Well, unfortunately, Fred couldn't be
with us tonight, so we're going to just

have to give him a call and let him know
the good news.

I've got him on speed dial.

Hello. This is Fred.

Fred, it's Elvira.

Yeah, congratulations.

You just won the Elvie.

We must have lost connection with Fred,
but I'm sure if he were here, he would

love to thank all my adopted children,
Loquisha, Davisha, Cuckaroo, and KFC.

Well, now it's time to go to bed. I love
you all so much.

I'll be home soon.

Well, as soon as I get good and drunk.

But if I'm not there to tuck you in and
puke on your pillowcase, I hope you all

have unpleasant dreams.