All language subtitles for 13 Nights of Elvira s01e02 Puppetmaster

the dark.

Sorry if I seem a little strung out. I
got tangled up with a string quartet

night.

So, I think I'd like to just lay down
for a while without somebody laying down

on top of me.

Let me just get comfortable.

Oh, just a sec. Oh, I got a cramp in my
leg.

There. Okay.

Now I'm comfortable.

Whoa!

Oh,

hello, darling. I was just playing with
myself until you got here.

Yes, it's me in the flesh and not much
else. E -M -O -T -D.

Oh, you're some piece of work.

Well, I have had little body work done.

On my car.

Speaking of little bodies, in addition
to doing puppet shows for kids, I also

bachelor parties for 21 and over.

So let's get this party started up in
here. This is a timeless classic that

never fails to make me sick. It's a
puppet masterpiece called Puppet Master.

What's it about?

It's about an hour and 20 minutes, but
it's packed with more punchlines than

Punch and Judy.

It's really a knockout. So everyone,
please give the puppets a big hand.

And the man who brought them to life was
an ancient Egyptian scroll, Monsieur

André Toulon, a .k .a. the puppet
master.

Huh?

You!

So beautiful.

I know.

They're coming.

Don't worry, don't worry.

I'll take care of you.

Think about it.

Do you

understand

everything, my lord?

It is very important.

Yes?

Then we go.

But I'm coming.

Now don't be frightened.

I'm not going to let anything happen to
you.

I'm going to hide you in a safe place.

What a shame we did not have more time.

Andre too long?

Hair too long?

Yep, that's what happens when you try to
take your tonsils out with a 45.

Clean up on floor six.

I went to Yale's undergraduate school.

I was always under some graduate, but I
under graduated with honors.

They even asked me to join the faculty,
but I didn't want to get a staph

infection.

My agent.

Oh, yes.

I've seen many great things for you.

Yeah?

You have a wonderful life ahead of you,
young lady.

Do you see marriage, maybe?

Most definitely.

In a very short period of time, you two
are going to be happily married.

Oh. And you are going to have a little
boy.

No. Yes, you are. He's a rambunctious
little boy, but he's going to be a good

little boy. And then you're going to
have a little girl.

That's really great. I like that. But do
you think Buddy here is ever going to

get a real job?

I see retail sales.

What?

Retail sales? No, ma 'am. I'm sorry. You
better look again because Buddy here,

he flunked out of the 10th grade. I
don't see how he can be in retail sales.

Well, you see here, I see construction.

I see.

You're working as a foreman of a
construction company in a retail store,

like an enormous shopping mall.

You are going to be a rich man. You are
going to build a shopping mall.

Wow. Yes, sir, you are going to be a
rich man.

Well, maybe I will marry him then.

I sit next to a very rich man. I'm a
goldmine.

Well, what else do you see, ma 'am?

Only thing I see is your grandmother.

She isn't going to be around very long.

My grandmother's already dead, ma 'am.

Well, it's... It's really your
grandmother.

Oh, buddy, I'm sorry.

Ma 'am?

I think something's wrong with her.

Ready, Carissa? Yeah.

Now commencing real -time thought
transmission experiment, RT -638.

It should read pervert researching.

Active subject, Carissa Stamford.

All right, Andrea, I want you to
recreate in your mind your wildest

fantasy, paying particular attention to
the details, all right?

Good.

All right, Carissa?

Again, sequence now.

Are you getting anything about a man on
a horse in the rain?

No.

Interesting.

Now she's...

She's running down the beach and she's
naked.

It's getting very close to her. You're
not getting any of this.

No. Why am I getting this and you're
not?

Because you haven't been laid in months.

This little girl has a very vivid
imagination.

Alex. We were expecting your call.

You've had contact, too, then?

Yes, last night while we were
experimenting.

It was very, very strong.

What does it mean?

Why all of us at once?

It means Gallagher located the old
puppet master's hiding place.

And he's calling for some kind of a
meeting.

We also received...

There's an old hotel on the California
coast called the Bodega Bay Inn.

I want you to come along, Alex.

We'll need all our collective powers.

Dana feels that this is not going to be
a friendly meeting.

Well, I don't know who they think they
are just barging in here out of the

They're probably the friends Neil said
would come.

They don't look like friends to me. They
look more like trouble. That's what

they look like. Shh, Teresa, don't be
rude.

Hello, I'm Megan Gallagher.

Somebody married, Neil?

Hi, I'm Alex Whitaker.

I'm Frank Forrester.

This is Dana Hadley and Carissa
Stemford.

Hello.

I hope this visit wasn't entirely
unexpected.

No, no, Neil told me you'd be coming.

And where might old Neil be?

I thought you knew.

Knew what?

He shot himself.

But why?

That's the hard part. I don't know why.

He left a note.

But all he said was he didn't want to be
buried until you all arrived.

So now that you're here, we'll bury him
tomorrow.

You can stay.

Of course.

No problem.

Well, I'll show you to your rooms and
then we'll see about some dinner.

Excuse me, Mrs. Gallagher.

Would you mind if we stayed behind a
while to pay our respects?

No, not at all.

I think Neil would appreciate that.

Thank you. Thank you.

Don't touch the body.

was going on around here?

And how is it that we didn't pick up on
the fact that he was dead?

I don't know.

Somehow he was able to block the image
when he sent that signal to us.

What are you doing?

Just making sure he is what he appears
to be.

Be sure to check if they're dead with a
meat thermometer.

Yep, he's done.

Dead in a door, Neil.

How did you know Neil?

Oh, he and I worked together on a
project.

I'm a professor of anthropology at Yale
University.

You're staring at me.

I'm sorry.

Shit that Neil subsets with his work.

It's hard to imagine him taking time out
to get married.

These rooms, they haven't been used in
quite a long time.

You know, people used to come here just
to see this place all over.

The Queen of England came here once.

I took care of her myself.

Such an interesting aroma. What is it?

Hickory and dragon's blood.

What are you doing?

I'm cleaning your etheric body.

What? This will protect you.

Listen to me.

You are in great danger. Do not go near
the fireplace, whatever you do.

Why?

Don't go near the fireplace.

I have to go. I have work to do.

This isn't going to be easy.

There's my little darling.

Hello, sweetheart.

I bet you're starving to death.

Oh.

Got your body, dog.

You can't save her.

Right this way.

Pity about dear Neil.

Were you friendly with him?

Oh, not very.

Sorry to hear that.

Something happened in this elevator.

Something. What?

A man forcing a woman to have sex.

What man?

What man?

Calder. But the woman wasn't his wife.

What are you talking about?

Please don't interfere.

What is it?

She's experiencing the past.

Tell me.

It was horrible what he did to her.

Oh, God.

Please don't bring up any of this around
Mrs. Gallagher. She's upset enough as

it is.

You wouldn't want to disturb Mrs.
Gallagher.

Oh, my God, Frankie.

What?

This is a movie star bed.

Not now, Carissa.

No, really.

Two famous movie stars had a wild night
in this bed.

Come feel it. Stop it.

This is business.

We're focusing on Gallagher, remember?

You know I can't help it, Frankie.

I know, baby. It's just that I don't...
What's becoming distracted?

We have to use your gifts to find out
what Gallagher was doing here.

Oh, my God.

They did it right in this bed.

Who?

Clark Gable and Carol Lombard.

Clark Gable and Carol Lombard. Hmm.

Did everybody get settled in all right?
Yes, thank you.

This hotel seems to have quite a
history, Mrs. Gallagher. Yes, it does.

It's been in my family since the turn of
the century. My parents operated it

until they died a few years ago. Thank
you, Teresa.

Miss Megan, we are just so curious to
hear about you and your dear Gallagher.

Well, I met Neil when he was...

staying here working on a project.

We became friends.

And when my parents died, he helped me
through some rough times.

Now, that doesn't sound like the
Gallagher we all know.

Anyway, it was something that surprised
me when he asked me to marry him.

I mean, I liked him a lot.

He said he loved me.

And he offered to help me run this
hotel.

Now, that sounds like Gallagher. He
wanted something.

So we got married.

Three years ago, next Friday.

He had so many ideas for the hotel.

He wanted to renovate it completely.

So we shut it down.

Well, what about his work?

He didn't really tell me much about it.

I knew it was important to him.

I didn't want him to stop.

It was like the first year of our
marriage, he spent most of his time

supervising construction all over the
place, and I really tore it apart.

Then, one day, he just stopped
everything.

And for the next year, he spent almost
every day locked up with his work.

I really didn't know what to do.

I would have kicked that bastard out on
his ass.

Dana.

If you have something to say, I wish you
would say it to me.

She likes to stir things up.

Don't let her bother you.

Now, Alex.

A lady has invited me to speak.

Now, I have a wealth of information for
her.

Dear, beloved Neil, what I would love to
share with her.

Sit down and shut up.

Well, aren't we the excitable one this
evening?

Miss Megan.

There's a question that's been burning
inside of me.

Did it ever...

Pass through your sweet, innocent little
mind.

Did your husband possibly marry you for
your money?

A little bit of sauce and Dana becomes
quite cynic, doesn't she?

I'm not a cynic, Frank.

I prefer to think of myself as a nasty
bitch.

That's enough, Dana.

Fuck you, you Ivy League cunt -ass.

But who's kidding who?

We all know why we're here.

So I continue this pitiful charade for
the grave and widow.

The truth is, honey, your husband was a
despicable, greedy bastard.

He screwed us, and we mean the evil of
God.

I'll make myself clear.

some people work.

Did I say something?

I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong
with her. She usually isn't like this.

I'm so confused.

Who are you people?

Well, Some would call us magicians.

To some degree, we all have unusual
psychic powers.

Your husband brought us together several
years ago to try to help in his

research.

He and Frank began studying the ancient
Egyptian methods of the occult, and they

found evidence that the Egyptians had
developed the secret method of giving

to inanimate figurines.

Then these secrets were passed on to
select few who knew and practiced magic.

Dana there makes her living telling
fortunes. She used her powers to help

husband locate the last true alchemist
of modern times, a famous puppet master

of the 20th.

What about Carissa? Well, your husband
brought her in because of her skills in

psychometry. Which means?

I mean, she can reconstruct the
emotional history of an object by touch

feeling. Like what?

She can sit in a car, tell you who owns
it, sit on a bed and tell you the entire

history. Oh, I see.

What about you? What do you do?

I dream.

Everybody dreams.

Sure, but not about things to come.

Somebody there?

Okay.

Hey, want to play poker?

She fainted. Look.

Is he alive?

No, he's dead.

Believe me, he's dead.

Starting tomorrow, we are going to tear
this place apart.

I think Andre Toulon's secret is right
here.

Doesn't make sense.

If he found it, why kill himself?

Who's fooling around with his body?

I never did trust this son of a bitch.

What is he up to?

Maybe it's Mrs. Gallagher.

That wasn't a dream I had, was it?

I don't understand.

Who would do that?

Well, we think it was Teresa.

Teresa?

Where is Teresa?

We can't find her. We've looked all
over.

Hey, hey, take it easy.

Why did you come here?

I had to.

Why?

I had this dream, and I came here to
make sure it didn't come true.

What's wrong?

Two women.

Navy.

Second World War.

And details.

They spent their entire leave in this
tub.

Listen, darling, as long as you're going
to be fooling around in there, see if

you can pick up on Neil Gallagher.

And that young wife of his, of course.

No, honey. It's pronounced unpleasant
dreams.

What are you doing, Frank?

I'm preparing for tonight's experiment.

Suppose we found it, Frank.

What Andre Toulon's discovered, I mean.

What would you do with the power?

If you had it, I mean.

Well, that's easy.

I'd rule the world.

I think she's pretty.

Gulliver's wife, I mean.

Yes. Get the hell out of me, you jerk.

Come on, darling. I just wanted to get
you into that haunted house mood for

tonight's work.

What are you doing?

They're all in danger.

He means to kill us all.

Who does?

Gallagher.

Honey, even the dead have their ways.

Protection. More like infection.

Thanks.

December 8th.

1 .46 a .m.

Researcher and principal psychometric
subject are about to embark on sexual

experiment number 517A.

Hopefully we'll be opening up a channel
to Neil Gallagher.

Experiment will utilize various sexual
aids and certain assorted apparatus.

Descriptions to follow.

Sidebar note to transcriber. File under
personal documentation.

And be sure to annotate location.

Are you ready?

Ready and willing.

I promise you'll be gentle.

I love it when you do that.

God, I like this.

No, no.

Not this time.

You don't get to do anything but what I
want you to do.

Oh, great.

Uh, he can't come to the phone right
now. He got tied up at work.

Yeah.

Oh.

Oh. I think I'm going to like this.

Perfect.

A little life insurance from the White
Witch.

Leroy, Leroy, there's going to be a lot
of changes in the next 24 hours.

It's not going to be promising for you
-know -who.

Hey, lady, your dog is smoking.

It's going to be a long and lonely
night, sugar.

I never did get used to love, too.

Thank you.

Chris. Chris.

Shh.

Quiet, Frank.

Whoa,

sounds like she's having some dental
work done.

Okay, now just rinse this bit.

Chrissy, you know I have no sense of
humor.

And they call it puppet love.

You know, you really have me going
there.

You connected with Gallagher, didn't
you?

Oh, fool.

I'm ready for you.

Must be one of those undisclosed sexual
aids, huh? What is that?

Trying to rearrange the walls in the
room makes it hard to sleep.

I know what you mean.

Would you like to come in for a little
nightcap?

Thanks, but... He's allergic to dogs,
especially blonde.

I was hoping we could do a little
rearranging of the walls ourselves.

I don't think that would be a good idea,
Dana.

I tried.

Good night.

Sweet dreams.

It's unpleasant dreams, okay?

It's just me and you.

Well, I guess we'll just have to
entertain each other like we always do,

I know you don't like Alex very much,
but he's all right.

Now, you just sit down and you stay like
a good boy.

Yeah.

Well, look who's here.

If it isn't my dear old friend,
Gallagher.

Did not see her in a local production of
A Streetcar Named Desire.

And you don't fool me.

At least she's not blowing it up your
ass like I would have.

We put the dead to rest.

He won't be bothering us anymore, Leroy.

He must be a sock puppet, get it?

I want you to come with me.

I have something I want to show you.

Just, uh, let me get my shoes.

And don't forget your rubbers.

Something about Neil's death kept on
bothering me.

It never occurred to me before that
there was a connection between the old

puppet master's death and my husband,
but after dinner, it began to make

Neil used to spend hours up here.

I don't know what he was doing exactly,
but he never let me come up.

I thought it was strange.

I didn't really mind it.

I came up here earlier, and I found
something in here. Could you hold that,

please?

Told you I want to show you something

Now promenade, now alleman left, no,
your other left. Now spin your corpses,

-si -do, ladies on your tippy -toes.

You can't save her, Alex.

Alex.

I want you to come with me.

What for?

I have something to show you.

Uh, yeah.

Let me get my shoes.

Okay, wait a minute. Didn't she just,
uh... I mean, this looks like a room

a deja vu.

Something about Neil's death is really
bothering me.

It never occurred to me that there was a
connection between the old puppet

master's death and my husband's. But
after dinner, it started to make sense.

Neil used to spend hours up here.

I don't know what he was doing exactly,
but he never let me come. He never let

you come up.

He thought it was strange, but he didn't
really mind.

How did you know?

Well, I'm kind of a magician, remember?

I came up here earlier tonight, and I
found something in

here.

I was looking for Neil's books up here,
and I started reading this one.

This is Andre Toulon's diary.

Listen to this.

Today I gave them life using the ancient
Egyptian rites of afterlife.

I love them like all my other children,
like my other puppets. They mirror the

soul of their master, and with me they
are harmless, but...

I fear what they are capable of is
placed in the wrong hands.

Alex.

Alex, what is it? What's wrong?

Alex.

Alex, what is it?

Hello, Alex.

Are you okay?

Alex.

Come on.

Let's go.

What is it?

Alex.

They're in the dining room.

Oh, my God.

We need to get out of here.

You're not leaving on my account, are
you?

You're dead.

Yes, I am.

I put a gun in my mouth and blew away my
vast knowledge.

And here I am.

Dead.

Ah.

Megan doesn't understand the metaphysics
of it, Alex. Will you explain it to

her, please?

What's the matter, Alex?

You're not getting slow on me, are you?

Let me explain.

Metaphysically speaking, I killed
myself.

And using the techniques of the old
puppet master, I brought myself back to

life.

Why?

That's easy.

I want to live forever.

All life eventually ends in death, but
for me, there is no end now.

You mean no natural end?

Alex, don't even entertain the thought.

It would take the total destruction of
this body, something that you are not

capable of.

I'm much stronger now than I ever was in
life.

Why did you kill him?

Because we are all joined by our
thoughts.

And sooner or later, one of you would
have learned that I had discovered

Toulon's secrets.

I have to bring you here.

Besides,

I'm tired of experimenting with silly
little wooden puppets.

I wasn't the first human experiment.

The first experiment was on her parents.

It was a stroke of luck, actually.

I followed the trail of the old puppet
master to this hotel.

And I was always quick with the women.

Right, Alex?

Hmm?

And Megan, ah, she was so young.

So easy to win over.

Parents. That's another story.

I had no choice but to kill them.

It was a small price to pay to live
forever.

Bastards!

Thank you.

So you can live forever.

you fucking little cretin, or I'll chop
you into firewood.

You brainless little pinhead. Get out of
my way.

Oh, I like to do the same thing with my
Barbies.

No.

That took so long.

Things will be different.

My cab's waiting.

You take care of yourself.

Yeah, I will. You too.

Take care of that too.

And if you ever get to the east, let me
call.

Good dog, Leroy. You don't suppose she's
gonna... Ah!

Boy, never saw that coming.

Well,

I guess that was a happy ending.

At least till they made nine more
sequels.

Puppet Master 2, Puppet Master 3, Puppet
Master 4, Two Wands Revenge, Puppet

Master 5, The Final Chapter, Puppet
Master 6, Curse of the Puppet Master.

Let me go! Ah!

Come back here, you little perv.

Whoa, let go of me.

Jeez, those puppets are still pissed off
because they were only paid one

-sixteenth Yale.

Oh, man,

that was so weird. I just had this dream
within a dream.

What the?

Hello? Oh, where did I put my keys?

Oh, dude, that was really weird. I just
had this dream within a dream within a

dream.

But fortunately, they were all
unpleasant dreams.