Original subtitles

Hey, everyone.

I just want to make a quick toast

to thank you guys for coming

to our final social justice social.

I mean, you came to every car wash,

every canned food drive, bake sale,

- that Greenpeace kegger, what? - That was awesome!

And I've had a blast this year

raising our glasses and our consciousnesses together.

So, cheers!

They don't even care if I get straight a's.

They just care that I look good.

I mean, they're Texas ladies.

They've got the big nails, and the big boobs, and the big hair.

And when I go home, I've got to become one with them,

because the humidity.

No, listen.

Ruby hill is where brain cells go to die.

Aunties, all they do is sit around and gossip

about who's getting married, who's getting fat,

who's flunkin' out of med school.

Alia, you don't understand how big my hair gets in Texas.

Like...

I think I need bigger scissors.

Can somebody get me some bigger scissors?

Wow!

You are so talented.

You should give everybody haircuts.

Yes! Haircuts all around!

Yo.

Why aren't you answering my texts?

Uh, what time is it?

Dude, are you still in bed?

Shit! Shit, shit, shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

You better not miss your flight. I need you here, like, yesterday.

Oh, my god! You cut your hair.

Oh, my god.

Oh, my god, I cut my hair.

It looks a little lopsided.

I think I did it myself.

Oh! Your mom is gonna love that.

She's already texted me, like, a thousand times.

Can I please just enjoy one last minute of freedom?

No, beta. It's time to get your ass home. Fly safe. Eat something.

Bring compression socks for the plane.

And, you know,

rahul's back in town.

Wear something pretty tonight, na?

Okay, aunty. Why don't you tell him to wear something pretty, hmm?

Bye!

Hey, Alia. Welcome home.

- You look good. - Thanks, dad.

So, I could still use some help at the clinic.

Dad, stop.

I took o-chem. I got straight a's.

I made the Dean's list.

I just want to relax.

Doesn't anyone relax over the summer anymore?

Okay, baba.

Glad you're home.

Saahil! Jiya! I'm home.

Woo-hoo.

You're back!

Are you posing?

Ah!

- Hmm! - Oh! Mom, bangles.

- Did you cut your hair? - Yes.

Well, it'll grow back.

I'm so happy you're home, Alia!

Everyone's so excited to see you tonight!

What? Everyone? What's happening tonight?

There's a party at neerja aunty's home tonight.

Didn't neha tell you?

I don't have to go to that, do I?

Honey, everyone's been asking to see you.

It'll be very rude not to go.

I'm taking you to the salon.

Those are veg only, na?

I missed you.

Oh, I missed you, too.

This is gorge, by the way!

Thanks! It's my mom.

She bought herself a new sari for tonight, too.

My mom bought herself a new sari for tonight.

Ugh. It's just such a waste.

Especially when there are so many ways to upcycle fabric.

Wow. You really went full Berkeley on me.

Peace and love, baby.

- You hiding out in here? - I wish.

Better get back in there before she freaks.

- Solidarity. - Solidarity.

- You ready? - Ready.

Ugh, wow. Someone drowned in drakkar noir tonight.

Tonight and every night.

Oh, goody. Reema and roma are here.

- Hi! - Hey, girl!

So good to see you!

- How's school? - School is amazing.

Loving it!

So I put a stent in there,

it took less than an hour,

and he was back to running marathons, you know?

Business as usual.

There she is. The queen of Ruby hill.

Ew, look at my idiot little brother.

Jerkoff. Why doesn't he get stuck serving everyone samosas?

Hey, you. You do this.

Samosas?

Terrible score on his mcat.

Stealing money outright.

That is how he bought his yacht!

- Hmm. - Samosa? Hi.

That's what I heard.

The way he's holding his drink.

Ah!

Rahul, you're here!

Why are we here?

Ease your pain.

Man!

Ah!

You know, at least our generation

allows men and women to get equally shit-faced.

That's progress.

Ugh. It took my mom an hour and a half to get ready.

Well, she looks hot as shit.

Gross.

New sari. Again.

Quick, here they come.

So, you two!

When should we start our wedding shopping, eh?

Only teasing!

That's so annoying.

What do they get out of all this gossip, anyway?

Power. Words are powerful.

Also, they're assholes.

They're not wrong, though.

I know you didn't find even one guy at ucla

who's as good as me.

No. No, I found, like, 20.

Twenty! Did you even have time to study?

Eh, in between.

How's Jessica?

Wait, no. Um, what was her name? What was the last girl's name again?

Meghan. We only hung out a few times.

That was enough, let me tell you.

Duke girls are weird.

Good to be home.

Okay, I'm off to the driving range.

Ranjit, we're out of biscuits again.

I asked you to bring more last weekend, didn't I?

Do you want us to get embarrassed like the bhatias,

running out of them in front of everyone?

Oh, bab so some people didn't have biscuits. Who cares?

Indians eat way too much sugar as it is.

That's not the point, ranjit. Just get them for the party, na?

Okay, I'll pick some up,

and then all our troubles will be over. No?

Hey, Alia, your mom needs you to go to the Indian store

to buy some biscuits for the party.

What? Why can't you go?

I'm golfing, see?

I'm relaxing, see?

Cannonball!

Whoa.

- Shit. - Excuse me?

Hello, there. Can we help you find something?

I'm looking for some biscuits... For my mom.

Mom, uh, where are the biscuits?

You're restocking them, varun.

Right. Um...

Yeah. Here you go.

Thanks.

So, do you work here? Often?

Yeah. I'm just helping my parents out until school starts.

Where do you go to school?

I was at east river community college. But I'm transferring to ucla for fall.

No way!

That's crazy. I go to ucla.

No way! What's your major?

Oh, bio. Typical, you know.

What about you? Doctor, lawyer, engineer?

No, actually, I'm thinking history or poli sci.

I like current events and past events. I like reading a lot.

But I... I do other stuff, too. Like, I go to the gym.

Yeah. Uh, it's good to have hobbies.

All set.

So, are you guys the new owners? What happened to the guptas?

The guptas, they retired back to India.

We owned a store in east river as well, but we like this area better.

Yeah, Ruby hill's pretty nice.

Oh, we're actually just over the hill in Miller park.

Oh.

My, this is a lot of biscuits.

Yeah, we're throwing this dinner thing next Saturday,

and we just simply can't run out of biscuits.

My mom would be mortified.

Oh, I see.

You guys should come!

You're new in town. You can meet everyone,

have a few drinks, see where the night takes you.

What?

I'm Alia, by the way.

I'm kamlesh. This is bhairavi, varun, and puja.

Nice to meet you all.

All right, so I will write down our phone number and our address.

You know what, I'm just gonna

put my cell phone number, too, just in case.

Hope to see you next Saturday.

And feel free to call me whenever.

Anytime.

- Uh, very nice of you, beta. - Are you sure your parents won't mind?

No, not at all.

You invited who?

Uh...

Are you crazy? Who said you could invite them?

Itne saare biscuits?

How will it look if a local shopkeeper shows up for our dinner party?

I haven't even met these people yet!

And leave that aside,

did you ever see the guptas in our party ever?

Of course not!

What will people say? How could you do this, Alia?

I don't know. They're new in town, they don't know anyone.

I thought it would be nice.

So now we are running a charity service, huh?

Sure. Aunties without borders.

Seems that you've

become very smart in college, Alia.

Maybe next year, you can do a course called "your mother deserves respect"!

Do you know if they grade on a curve in that class?

Because I hear the professor is a real...

Okay. It's time for our run, Alia. Come, let's go.

Can you stop picking fights with your mom, baba?

You know how serious she is about all this.

You didn't think about how she would react when you invited the shopkeepers?

No, I was not thinking about her when I invited him.

Them.

Anyways, couldn't these parties

use a little excitement?

Some fresh meat for the aunties to devour.

You have to ask yourself if the excitement is worth it.

Your mom is clearly not happy.

- Yeah, I got that. - Yeah, I get it, too,

miss liberal progressive green party!

You're trying to make a point to your backward old parents,

and that's what this inviting people is all about.

Isn't it? So, who's next? Our dry cleaner or gardener?

I mean, I'd rather talk to Miguel than swati aunty!

Miguel's got jokes!

Here, aunty. Eat, eat.

You're looking too thin these days.

Excuse me.

You guys came!

Your house is beautiful. You look so beautiful as well.

Thanks.

Oh, no, keep your shoes on, please.

Come. Jiya, this is puja.

Why don't you take puja downstairs to play with you guys?

We don't play.

Dad! Dad.

- Hey, Alia. - Hi.

Uh, this is kamlesh uncle, and bhairavi aunty, and varun.

They took over the Indian store from the guptas.

Oh.

- Yeah. Yeah. - Right.

- Yeah. Hi. - Hello.

Welcome.

Um, come on, aunty. Let's go find my mom.

Oh, there she is. Mom.

This is bhairavi aunty, and varun. This is my mom, Sheila.

Sheila?

Arey!

Oh, my god!

Is this really you?

I can't believe it. Is this where you've been all this time?

Uh, pardon me?

Sheila, it's me, bhairavi.

Bhairavi saxena, Miranda house, Delhi university.

Everyone called me bhairu?

You called me bhairu.

You guys went to college together?

Of course.

Um, certainly... um...

We were classmates.

My apologies, bhairavi.

It's just been such a long time since college, hai na?

And, uh, how things have changed since then.

Indeed. Things have certainly changed.

Well, do make yourself feel comfortable, and help yourself to the snacks and all.

And if you'll just excuse me, I'll go check on dinner. Okay?

Two minutes. Excuse me.

- Well, that was weird, right? - Yeah.

What are the chances?

Your mom didn't seem too thrilled to see my mom.

Yeah. I'm sorry. My mom's kind of a snob.

I swear, if you're not wearing designer, she basically can't see you.

- Hey. - Hey.

Rahul, meet varun.

Oh. Hey, man.

- Hey. - You look familiar.

Were you state lacrosse a couple years ago?

No. Uh, maybe you've seen me at the Indian store?

I work there with my parents.

Oh, right. Are you guys catering tonight or something?

Nope. Alia invited us.

Oh!

Cool.

Cool.

Smile!

This is some party.

Yeah, same shit, different aunty.

They all take turns hosting every weekend

so they can show off their new chandelier or whatever.

It's insane.

Maybe you guys can host the next one.

Yeah. Maybe we'll have a party at my pool.

I'll have my Butler inflate it.

I'd come to a party at your place.

Well, I'll put you on the guest list, then.

So, kamlesh, you've taken over the grocery.

- You're a businessman? - Yes, also an engineer.

Oh, really? Which firm are you with?

Well, I'm a water maintenance supervisor with the city.

Oh...

Yeah, she said something about college.

I didn't...

So, you say you knew Sheila?

Yes.

You must have some good stories about her from your college days?

Anything juicy?

Yes.

- Nitin. It's about that time. - I'll go.

Watch this. The drunkles can't resist.

Wake up! Mom wants you!

Get out of here, shitface!

Ow! My arm! Mom!

Alia! Breakfast!

Come down now!

Alia, did you hear me?

Saahil, can you just stop chewing so loudly?

I am not chewing so loudly.

You're...

Close your mouth when you eat, too.

- Jiya, eat something. - All of this food is so high-carb.

- Have this. - No.

With avocado. It's very good for your body.

Ew, gross, dad.

- Good morning. - No way.

Wah, wah, wah. So gross.

Alia, what are you doing?

Come sit down at the table like a normal person, beta.

Come on.

I'm sure bina is on the phone right now talking about the shopkeepers.

Oh, it was an overall success, na?

No major drama. Everybody behaved themselves.

So what's the problem?

- Alia! What are you doing? - Is something wrong, beta?

No. Nothing.

I've got to go.

What? Go where?

I'm meeting neha.

Now? No. This is family time. Neha can wait.

Come have breakfast. Come on.

I can't. I've got to get out of here.

- Alia! - You're still in your pajamas!

It's just so...

Gross.

How could he do this to us?

Maybe it was just a mistake. Maybe he just drank too much scotch,

and got caught up in the party vibe or something.

Do I tell my mom?

What if she finds out, and they have to get a divorce,

and my dad is forced to live in some sad apartment,

and saahil and jiya have to come visit him

a couple times a week and eat spaghettios?

And my mom is so humiliated that she doesn't even leave the house,

she becomes addicted to online gambling, and has to go to rehab?

Well, rehab's not all bad.

It's like a spa you can cry at.

Here, have some jerky.

What the hell is this? I asked if you had weed.

Well, I didn't, so eat up.

Nourish yourself. It's vegan.

It tastes vegan.

What's rahul say?

If rahul would ever get back to me, then I'd ask him.

Listen, don't say anything to anyone about my parents.

I know you wouldn't.

Of course not. I'm not bina aunty.

Oh, my god. Can you imagine if bina aunty knew?

I heard she's actually going through with it.

Well, asha didn't have a choice, na?

He was going to leave her anyway.

And they were married just as long as any of us.

Speaking of, Sheila, who did you decide on for your anniversary party?

Oh. We're going with tejal's.

They did such a fantastic job at shivani's sweet 16, na?

- Right. - But nothing over-the-top.

This is not one of our big anniversaries, you know, so...

At our age, they're all big ones.

Well, asha won't be there, that's for sure.

What a scandal.

I suppose that's it for her dinner parties.

No more homemade gulab jamun, ladies.

Thank goodness!

Poor asha.

- Poor asha. - Poor asha.

Poor asha.

Oh, let me take that.

You're so quick.

I'll take it next time.

Hey, Alia.

Hey!

What's wrong?

Where's mom?

Mom, she's out all day. Lunch and shopping,

running around with saahil and jiya, soccer practice and dance and all that.

Did you and your mom have another fight?

No. Actually, this is about you.

And uma aunty.

I saw you.

Saw me what?

I saw you upstairs at the party with uma aunty.

I don't know what you're talking about.

You don't know?

So you weren't making out with uma aunty at our party?

- Hey! Watch your tone! - You watch your tone!

How could you do something like this?

Alia, stop.

Stop it right now.

This is between your father and me, so butt out.

You know about this?

Oh, my god.

How long has this been going on?

Not a word more, Alia.

Now go upstairs and do your homework!

- It's summer! - Then just go upstairs.

This is so messed up.

Oh, now this asshole wants to talk?

Just give me a sec, okay?

Okay.

Hey. How's it going?

"How's it going?"

You've been avoiding me for days, and now you text me six times in a row?

Where have you been? We need to talk.

I know.

We should get there around 8:00.

Uh, do you want to uber with me, Caitlin, and Josh?

What the hell are you talking about?

Uh, hello? Nitin's birthday?

That's what you're calling me about?

Don't you wanna discuss our parents? Uh, it's all I've been thinking about.

Ew. Perv.

Do you think this is funny?

Do you think it's funny that my dad grabbed a handful of your mom's...

Dude! All right. Uh...

Look, um...

I just wanna forget about the whole thing.

I don't want to think about it. I don't want to talk about it.

I'm definitely not talking to my parents about it.

You talked to your parents, right?

- Did it help? - No.

So, then, just forget it.

There's no point.

Seriously? That's it?

Seriously.

So, uber?

Mmm, I'm not feeling it. I'm going to hang out with varun.

Varun?

Well, you want to invite varun to tag along?

Sure.

Varun, wanna come to nitin's birthday party with us?

I can't. I have to work.

Varun has to work.

Oh.

So, I guess I'll meet you guys there.

Okay.

- Bye. - Bye.

- Yum. - You like this?

I got a guy.

Mango juice for days.

Did your parents have an arranged marriage?

Uh, no.

They met in college, fell in love.

All that.

- Did yours? - Pretty much.

Well, their parents introduced them, and then they agreed to get married.

They've never dated or anything.

I wonder if they ever loved each other.

Your mom said my mom changed since college.

I wonder what she was like.

Did you talk to your mom at all after the party?

No. I asked, but she said what your mom said.

That they were just classmates.

You guys have a lot of books.

- You guys do, too. - Yeah, but they're all fake.

- They're fake? - Yeah.

My parents bought all these sets from the interior designer.

They're in Swedish or something.

Most of the pages aren't even cut.

They just... match the rug.

- I didn't even know that was a thing. - Oh, it's a thing.

Rahul's family has the same ones in blue.

You live in a strange world.

Yup.

- Hey, girl! How are you? - Hey!

I love your top!

Oh, thanks, twindians.

- Twindians? - Yeah.

You're so funny.

So, when did you and varun start hanging out?

I don't know. When do you think our parents started screwing each other?

- What? - I said, "I don't know."

"When do you think our parents started screwing each other?"

- I was just asking. - So was I.

Look. It's messed up.

But we can't do anything about it.

We'll be back at school before you know it.

Let's at least try to enjoy our summer.

Ugh! You're all sweaty.

- Classy. - You know it.

Saahil, can I just have my phone back?

No.

I don't have any games on there.

You can literally check, there's nothing on there.

- No. - Just give it back.

Just go get your dumb video games and go sit over there.

Get away from me.

Hmm.

For god's sake, mom.

Shit.

What?

Mom?

What on earth are you doing wearing my shoes?

Don't get them all stretched out.

I want to wear them to the varmas' party, which we all are going to, by the way.

And I'm telling you, Alia, I don't want any attitude from you.

I don't want you to fight with jiya, no smart comments, no rolling your eyes,

not a word, nothing.

And I think you should wear your new blue anarkali,

so make sure it's ironed.

Did you hear me?

Yeah.

Good.

Now put the shoes back.

Hello, Alia beti!

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Hi, aunty!

Picking something up for your mother?

No. No, actually I'm picking something up for myself.

Hello, good sir! Can you help me find some tomatoes?

I'm looking for some firm, ripe, juicy ones.

My pleasure, ma'am.

On second thought, wow!

That is some gigantic cucumber!

I'll take five.

Isn't this insane?

I mean, what the hell is this?

- Have you seen this picture before? - Never.

I know my parents were big

into protests and stuff in college, but no.

Do you think your mom will talk to me?

Probably.

I mean, my mom is way cooler than your mom.

So true. Can we trade?

Does your son still go to that community college?

Our housekeeper's son was thinking of going there.

She's also from east river.

Varun has already finished his two years there, with top grades.

He's actually starting at ucla this fall. Isn't that where your son also goes?

Usc. Pre-med.

$38.49.

You know, I may not have the latest saris or the newest French perfume,

but my family works really hard,

and we don't allow anyone to make us feel ashamed of that.

Of course, dear.

Hard work always pays off.

For some, sooner than others.

What can you do?

Ta-ta, beti.

Ta-ta.

Can you take over?

That sucked.

Yeah.

Uh, dude, you know I'm not actually buying any of that, right?

Hundreds of women have been demonstrating

in the Indian capital in memory of the victim of a brutal attack.

The march was one of several protests that have taken place in New Delhi.

This man hasn't even lost his membership.

He's still an honorable member of parliament.

I am ashamed to be a part of this system.

Ashok swung his nine-iron like tendulkar

and the damn thing went flying.

It was hilarious.

How many rotis do you want? One or two?

And he got so angry,

he jumped in the golf cart and drove away.

Jiya's dentist called.

He thinks she might need braces.

Damn near killed a caddy.

Did you even hear what I said?

Braces.

Yes.

I heard you.

The varmas' party is coming up.

God.

We'll have to hear all about their great fancy trip to Luxembourg.

As if none of us have gone to Luxembourg before.

Everyone knows they're boring.

So what? Shall we not go?

Of course we'll go. How can we not go?

People will think something is wrong if we don't go.

They'll think something is wrong.

Yeah.

We'll go. No problem.

Business as usual.

My surgery patient.

I have to run.

See you in a bit.

- Subtle. - My parents redecorated.

So, do Indians live here, or...?

So, where is your other half tonight?

When should I start my wedding shopping, eh?

You're sweet.

Lata, we need some more tikkis.

And go tell the cooks to hurry up with the dinner!

Everyone is starving.

Uncle, can you tell me where the kitchen is?

Kya, beta? The kitchen? It's right over here.

I was just making sure you knew.

Oh.

I'll get the tikkis.

I want samosa.

Ranjit has never been able to keep it in his pants.

Typical.

What about uma? So disgraceful.

So disgusting.

What kind of a woman behaves this way?

Well, looks like Alia is following in her father's footsteps.

Have you seen her carrying on with all these boys?

Poor Sheila. She must know that everybody knows about this.

Poor Sheila.

Poor Sheila.

Your kid got caught having a three-way in the school gym.

Yours failed his physics final and cried in front of the entire class.

Yours... is actually just a pothead.

We all think she's pretty cool.

- Hey, girl. - I need to talk to you.

What's going on? Are you okay?

Why the hell did you tell?

What? I didn't say anything.

Why is the whole party talking about it?

I don't know. Maybe someone else told.

Well, you're the only person that I told. And rahul won't talk about it.

So, someone else?

Varun? I mean, he doesn't even know these people.

What if he told his mom, and she said something?

Everyone goes to their store.

I'm sorry.

This stuff blows over. You know that.

My parents are planning this stupid anniversary party.

To honor their marriage.

People will find something new to gossip about by then.

You know the 24-hour Ruby hill news cycle.

Don't worry. Nothing's going to change.

That's the problem!

Look at this.

What is this?

- It's a picture of my mom. - What? No way.

Why do you have a picture of angry Indian marines?

That's Sheila aunty, moron.

What?

- No way. - Exactly.

Why would this woman spend all of the goddamn time

cleaning stains out of the rug and reading gossip magazines?

Why would this woman let her husband cheat on her?

What, now neha knows?

Your parents are full of surprises.

Our parents are full of shit.

I gotta get out of here.

Where are you going?

- Are you going to walk? - No.

Run.

Do you need a ride or something?

I'm good! All good!

What are you doing here?

Is everything okay?

Yeah. I just... I need to ask your mom something.

Um, she is known to answer the front door on occasion.

Jesus. Did you walk here?

Hey.

Did you tell anyone about my dad and rahul's mom?

Of course not. Who would I even tell?

Your mom?

And then maybe she told because my mom was so cold to her?

I didn't tell my mom,

and either way, she would never do something like that.

Come on.

Alia?

What are you doing here?

Did you ring the doorbell?

No, I came in through the window.

Aunty, can you tell me about the society for women's equality?

Beta, why don't you make us some chai?

So, what was this? Like a feminist club or something?

Or something.

She actually came to protests with you?

Came with us?

No. Your mother organized them.

What?

To put it mildly, Delhi wasn't a good place for women back then.

Still isn't.

We never felt safe.

And we decided we had to do something

to get organized and fight back.

So, we started the society, and Sheila was our president.

- That's kind of a big deal. - Yeah.

Imagine your mother, if you can,

back then, young and angry.

So... what's with this shaved-head photo?

People were spreading vicious lies,

attacking our characters.

We were out there, fighting as equals,

but the police only saw us as weak women,

easily intimidated.

They told us we'd never find husbands if we kept it up.

So Sheila got this idea

as a way to fight against the patriarchy.

It was our way of showing them

that we were committed to fighting for what was right.

Husbands be damned.

Your mother was incredibly brave.

She seemed unstoppable.

But then she stopped.

There was a woman, rupa,

who had been brutally attacked

by a high-up government official.

And he claimed she was lying to blackmail him.

So they put her in jail instead of him.

It was an outrage.

We protested, did sit-ins at the jail,

but it didn't matter. They wouldn't let her out.

So we decided to break her out.

That night,

Sheila led the group to rupa's cell,

but the police were waiting. Sheila was arrested.

And then they threw her in jail too.

I think she spent four, five nights in there

before her uncle arrived.

It was a very serious situation.

They were going to file charges against her

and put her on trial.

And then...

Suddenly, she was gone.

There were all sorts of rumors flying about,

but no one really knew what had happened.

And that was the last we had heard of her.

So imagine my surprise

when we came to your house

and I saw her in that fancy sari and jewels,

handing out paneer tikka

as if she had never marched a day in her life.

Are you okay, beta?

Yeah. It's just a lot to take in.

Look,

Ruby hill isn't exactly a hotbed of liberal activism.

Maybe it was just easier for your mother

to compromise a little bit.

You don't know the half of it.

Here. Neha found this.

What on earth were you thinking, running away from the party like that?

And where have you been?

I was with bhairavi aunty.

Talking about you.

Come inside. It's getting late.

Did you shave your head in college

because you were standing up for women's rights?

Yes.

Did you go to jail because you were helping a woman escape?

Yes.

Do you know what the word "patriarchy" means?

And you kept it a secret?

Why?

Why? Why would you hide it from me?

Why would you act like it's something embarrassing?

Because I am embarrassed, Alia!

It's not who I am anymore.

It was too hard to keep on fighting.

Look,

back then, my life was complicated.

I want your life to be simple, easy.

That's what I want for you.

But that's not what I want.

You do these things when you're young,

and stupid, and reckless.

And then you get tired.

And then you grow up.

Grow up, Alia.

Mom, I can't find my ghungroos!

Mom! Saahil just broke my chair!

I'm bleeding so much!

I'm coming.

Hey, girl!

I love your... sneakers!

You know what?

You've never liked me, and I've never liked you.

So why don't we stop bullshitting and just say what we really mean.

Okay, I'll go first. Um...

You two are the most boring, petty

and, frankly, interchangeable girls I've ever met.

I've known you my whole life, and I still can't tell you apart.

Well, you're a bitch!

Yeah, you're, like, a total slut!

Feels good, doesn't it?

Sheila, do we have any beer?

I don't know, ranjit.

Why don't you take a look, hmm?

- Arey, you're right there, na, baba. - I'm busy!

Fine, fine.

No problem. I can get my own beer, you know.

I do know.

What's with this sudden attitude?

No attitude.

And it's not sudden.

Sheila?

Hmm?

What is this?

Where did this come from?

Alia.

She must have found it in my things.

You kept it all this time?

Why?

Did you tell her anything?

No.

She found out on her own.

- How? - Bhairavi.

Ah...

Do you still want this?

"All Indian, all spice, baby!"

Hi, ladies. Just these?

Hi, varun. Yeah. Gotta hydrate.

Yeah.

You're all set.

Oh, could you open these for us?

Sure.

They're so going to get married.

Kind of a shame, though. Rahul could do so much better.

Rich, handsome, and going to be a doctor.

No wonder Alia's not letting him get away.

I'll bet his dad will get him an elephant for the wedding,

just like vikram's, remember?

No, I heard his dad knows some tiger guy in India,

and that's what he's gonna ride on.

Can you imagine,

rahul riding into the baraat on a tiger?

So hot!

You can't ride a tiger!

Maybe you can't.

Ah, I'm so glad you live on the first floor.

I missed you.

You're such a hypocrite.

What?

You act like you're not part of the same bullshit,

that somehow because you roll your eyes at it,

you're not just the same as everyone else here.

What the hell are you talking about?

Everywhere I go in Ruby hill, people have something to say.

People are talking shit about my family, or community college, or whatever!

And you're just as superficial as everyone else here.

I'm not superficial!

I watch documentaries, and I go to spoken word,

and I...

Wear organic chapstick!

I'm nothing like these people!

No, no, no. You're exactly like these people!

And I'll bet your organic chapstick costs, like, $12,

but no worries, you're probably still on your dad's credit card!

- I have my own credit card. - Yeah, well, who pays the bill?

They want me to focus on school and not have to worry about money.

How nice for you.

How nice for all of you to not have to worry about money.

I mean, do you think I didn't notice

everyone laughing at my parents that night at your party?

Why... why did you even invite us?

Because I wanted to get to know you.

What for? You already have your groom-to-be waiting in the wings.

Excuse me?

It just seems like I'm your easy Miller park hookup,

and rahul's the one you're gonna end up with.

Everyone seems to think you two should just rent a big fancy hall,

and a big fancy elephant,

or bengal tiger or whatever, and get married.

I mean, reema and roma said you and rahul are basically engaged.

Varun!

Reema and roma?

Are you seriously gonna believe two gossiping girls

before even checking with me?

Man, I thought the aunties were bad.

Are you calling me an aunty?

I'm calling you a goddamn aunty!

- Is there something you want to say? - No. Is there something you want to say?

Nope.

So, um...

I guess that's it.

Fine.

Well, thanks for the mango juice, and the sex,

and the history lesson about my mom.

Oh, you're welcome.

Quit splashing me, you turd!

You're the turd!

Wow, I didn't know a turd could wear makeup.

Stop splashing me.

Out of the pool, kids. Chop, chop.

Alia?

People will talk if you don't come.

People will talk either way.

What's going on?

I'm not going.

Oh, baba, enough with this nonsense.

The party's at rahul's house tonight, right?

Do you really want me to go? Because I can.

Pretty gutsy to ditch your own party.

- Your parents are going to freak. - I don't give a shit.

I just...

I couldn't handle it tonight.

Especially without you there.

People still whispering about it?

- Yeah. - Are you okay?

No.

What?

Are you and varun getting serious or something?

I don't know. I mean...

That's not it.

This is too easy.

I mean...

Our lives are too easy.

We can't do this just because it's the easy thing to do.

I don't wanna make the same mistakes my parents did

and end up in this bullshit world of lies like they did!

I don't want to live in a house

full of fake Swedish books!

Wait, what? They're fake?

Huh.

Who knew?

What if we are who we are, and then everything changes,

and we don't recognize ourselves anymore?

Look...

People change when they get older.

It's not always a tragic thing, is it?

I mean, my dad used to be an army medic,

and now he's building a koi pond in our backyard.

And you don't think that's tragic?

Just forget all that stuff for a second.

I am sick of people telling me to forget about stuff!

Stop telling me to forget about stuff!

Fine! Jesus!

So, we cool?

I'm cool. Are you cool?

Super cool.

- So, fine. We're cool. - Cool.

Divya said that they moved out last week

and now asha's in some two-room nothing in Miller.

Can you imagine?

Terrible schools in that area.

Her kids will never get into a good college.

It's a hard situation.

I feel for the family.

Of course.

- Of course. - We all do!

It is terrible. Such a shame.

So, Sheila, I ran into Alia the other day at India sweets.

She was talking to that boy, varun.

Probably about school.

Probably.

You know, that bhairavi

has gotten downright unfriendly.

I do miss the guptas.

They were always so...

Oh, I don't know. Quiet.

Excuse me.

Can I get a separate check, please?

Motherfu... what the hell, mom!

I'm going to the Indian store.

- Okay? - Come on. Hop in.

But I'm all sweaty and gross, and...

Just get in. Come on.

Oh! Sorry.

Are we here to buy more biscuits?

Hello, Alia.

- Sheila. - Hi, aunty.

Hi, bhairu.

Uh, we'll take a pound of laddoos.

Sure.

You used to make them for our meetings.

You remember.

I remember.

Yes! Yes! You guys had meetings!

Uh, bhairu, do you have a place we can talk?

Come.

The last time we saw each other

was at the jailhouse that night.

Morning, Sheila.

Get up.

After my uncle came,

everything happened so quickly.

He didn't let me pack or say goodbye.

We went straight home to rampur.

My mother had had a heart attack, and they all blamed me for it.

The terrible rumors about me had reached them.

I tried to tell them that it was all lies...

and what I was actually fighting for, but they didn't believe me.

They didn't care.

All that mattered was that I had disgraced them.

I knew that if my mom didn't survive,

it would be on my head.

And then they showed me a young man

who wanted to go to america.

Who needed money and papers.

And my family wanted me as far away from them as possible.

That's how I married ranjit.

That was that.

Before I knew it, we were on the plane to New Jersey.

Ranjit was on his way to becoming a doctor,

and I became what everyone wanted me to be:

A wife, a mother,

quiet.

I thought about you so much, bhairu,

and all our friends.

But I couldn't bring myself to call you.

My life was already so different.

I had compromised so much.

I had to start again.

It feels like another lifetime.

It wasn't so long ago.

I had no idea.

How could you, beta?

No one did.

We should head back.

Bhairu,

it'll mean a lot to me

if you came to our party on Saturday night.

I will be there.

So, I'll go to the hospital first and then I might go for a golf game.

Is it really golf you're going to?

Yes, of course. What do you mean?

Her blouse was inside out.

Did you really think that no one noticed it?

And that you'd be so arrogant to do it in a party,

in our own home!

It was a mistake, Sheila. Just let it go.

I didn't agree to be made a fool of, ranjit.

I didn't agree for you to be having affairs all over town!

I deserve respect.

This has to stop, or else...

Or else, what, Sheila?

You want a divorce?

You think people talk now, just wait.

They'll say, "oh, my goodness, Sheila didn't have any problem"

"shopping at neiman Marcus all these years,"

"driving her fancy cars all these years."

You... have known all along...

So why suddenly put everything we have worked so hard for at risk?

We both knew what this was from the beginning.

I had... no illusions about it.

You have put yourself above your family once, Sheila,

and you saw what happened.

Don't make the same mistake again.

What do we really mean to each other, ranjit,

after all these years?

You are a good wife.

You are a good mother.

And we have a good life.

Let's keep our family together, Sheila.

Hmm?

Now, I have a golf game on Saturday,

and I need to make sure I keep up.

So, I'll see you in a few hours.

Our anniversary is on Saturday.

Yeah, of course it is.

We'll be hosting the dinner and we'll celebrate. Right?

Ranjit, we...

It is a special day,

and it's important to celebrate these things with the community.

I'll be back in a few hours.

Hmm, you did learn something in college after all.

- Ha-ha. What's all that? - Something for the party.

We're still... we're still doing that?

- Hey. - Hey.

Hey.

- So... - Don't!

No.

Sick outfit.

Thanks.

Do you know who the caterer is?

No, but I think yours was better.

I know, right?

Can I do anything to help?

Um, no, just enjoy yourself.

Come on, mom. I know you're in there.

How long now have you been married?

Tell us. How old were you, Sheila?

Nineteen.

Aw.

Everyone. Please, come eat.

Business as usual, huh?

Not tonight.

- What's going on? - I don't know.

We had planned this wonderful vacation to Maui,

but then her husband got indicted for embezzling.

We had already put in the deposit for the hotel

and... and...

And... uh...

Whoa.

Let them talk.

You look just like your mother.

You've really done it, Alia.

Let's go. Come. Now.

No, ranjit. That's enough.

Sheila, come. People are staring.

Let them stare.

Let them see!

How else will they know what to talk about in the next party?

Sheila, please. You need to calm down.

No!

What I need, ranjit, is a good, stiff drink.

Bhairu, won't you join me?

Come on, uma. Share a drink with me.

We are already sharing my husband.

- Sheila. - Savage.

And there was chandrika, eight years ago.

Radhika, three years ago.

And let's not forget the receptionists:

Angelia, Vanessa, Lucia.

I remember the names of all your mistakes.

Stop your nonsense, Sheila, please.

Arey baba, don't worry.

Everyone already knows.

Don't you, bina? Lata?

Don't pretend it's news.

And don't worry, uma.

They've been judging you just as the same they've been judging me.

I'm not a loose woman! And...

Gurvinder visits prostitutes!

- Dad! - Uma!

He spent the money for our koi pond on a pair of Vegas hookers!

Oh, my god.

What do you want me to do, huh?

Uma has not been interested in sex

since my testicle retracted...

I can't help it, it's just so strange!

And who are you all to judge me, anyway?

I know for a fact that shalini and her voice teacher

are having an affair!

Don't drag me into your mess, huh, uma, please.

I knew it, shalini!

All that money and you still sound like a dying cat.

What are you laughing at, ajit, huh?

How many drinks have you already had tonight, huh?

You're going to make your wife drive you home again

so you can vomit out the side window?

Please. Crazy.

Okay, everyone. Maybe we can...

I have a BMW! It's a luxury car, and I paid 100k for it!

Premal just bought us an Audi that is 200k!

Premal can't afford to spend 200k on an Audi!

I most certainly can!

Laxmi spent all our money on plastic surgery.

She can't even move her jaw.

That's not true!

Poonam used fair & lovely so much

that I started to see veins on her face!

It's like living in a horror movie!

Nakul shaves his legs.

My preeti is a gay!

She never lets me buy her saris.

My nitin is a gay!

He's taking salsa dancing classes with his boyfriend.

Mom, I came out, like, two years ago.

You all know I'm gay.

I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay all day.

I'm also a gay!

No, no, no. I'm not a gay.

I just got carried away.

Bina, she is not renovating her game room.

Her son flunked out of usc.

He's living in their basement.

That's why she couldn't throw a party all summer long!

You started all of this, Sheila!

But you have your own secrets, don't you?

Why don't you tell all of us

about your sordid past

with your dear friend, bhairavi!

It's true.

Bhairavi and I do have a past.

What?

We were very close in college.

And we were feminists!

We were brave, honest, and angry!

We were committed to something much larger than ourselves.

We risked everything because

we believed our lives, our words,

were worth something.

We were worth something.

We are worth something.

I'm done with this arrangement, ranjit.

Pack your bags and find a hotel.

Now, enjoy the party, everyone!

There's chai in the kitchen and plenty of biscuits!

You don't look so bad now that your hair is starting to grow out.

Thanks.

You know, you could always wear a hat.

Can I help you?

Would you like to,

I don't know, borrow some eyeliner?

Dad called.

Mom's talking to him right now.

Oh.

Are mom and dad gonna get a divorce?

I don't know.

But whatever happens, we're gonna be okay. Okay?

Yeah.

Okay.

I mean, it's gonna take us all some time

to process everything that's happened.

It's a journey, just like Ariana grande says.

Yeah. Right.

Can I have your headbands?

Hey.

Hey.

So, I wanted to invite you guys

to a dinner party at my parents' place this weekend.

I'm kidding.

I think I effectively killed that scene for a while.

Uh, yeah. I'd say that's accurate.

I'm sorry about...

Everything.

This has been a weird summer.

I'm sorry that I said all those things about your money and stuff.

It's hard being a poor Indian in a place like this.

Well, you'll be at ucla now.

I can show you all the cheap places to eat.

They always have the best food.

Sounds great.

It'll be nice to have a friend there.

A really good friend.

So, you should text me when you're all settled and stuff...

Okay?

I will.

- Hmm. Everything fits? - Yup. Ready to go.

Bye, guys.

Bye, Sonic.

Ha-ha.

Mmm, love ya.

Love you.

Hi.

Hi, kids!

- Hi, dad. - Hi, dad.

So you're off.

Yeah.

We don't want to be late.

Um...

Where are the rest of your bags?

I'm taking her.

Okay.

Uh...

- Shall I stay with the kids? - Sure.

I'll get my purse.

Was it worth the excitement?

Your mom and I,

we started out in the wrong circumstances.

But from that,

we built something wonderful together,

something very important to me.

I don't want to lose that.

I don't want to lose this family.

So, have a safe flight, okay?

And text us when you land.

I will.

I'll drop Alia off

and then run a few errands.

Yeah, I'm here.

Take your time.

You're very quiet.

A wise man once told me that words are powerful.

Sometimes, it's nice to just be quiet.

I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing.

I don't know either.

But I guess we'll figure it out.

We'll figure it out.

Hey, kiddo.

Don't be too quiet.