Original subtitles

You want my advice?

Yeah. This is great.

Can I sit in your chair?

Oh,

yeah, sure.

Go right ahead.

Now, what seems to be your problem?

Well,

you see, I've got to tell somebody something, and I don't know quite how

going to take it.

It might be pretty rough.

Well, you always said to be honest. Give it to them straight, and they won't get

upset. Oh, yeah? You think so?

Okay, here goes.

You know, the way I've always told you not to leave your bicycle out in the

driveway, but sometimes you forget.

Yeah?

Well, I... I... This morning, I ran over

the bike.

You... Ran it over? It was an accident. Now, you said that you would understand

if I were honest.

But my bike.

All right, okay.

Look, now, I told you for months not to leave that bike in the driveway, and you

keep forgetting. I mean, it's irresponsible. Now it's gone.

You can't expect me to buy you a new bike.

My only bike.

Look, now, this has got to be a lesson to you, and so I have to be very firm.

Maybe Christmas.

That was the first two -wheeler I ever had.

All right, if you're good, your birthday.

Tommy sold me that bike, Dad.

Look, if there's some money left over at the end of the month, we'll talk about

it.

I loved it.

I really loved it.

You know, if we hurry, we might get to the bike shop before it closes.

See, Dad?

I'm not upset at all.

I always told you honesty is the best policy.

It's a portrait of the happiness that we feel and always

will. We wait enough to fill our lives with love.

Oh, we spend our days like bright and shiny new dimes.

If we're ever puzzled by the change.

Are there any leftovers, Abby?

Nicholas, with all you ate, you're still hungry?

It's not for me, Dad. It's for the dogs.

The leftovers are in the fridge. Dogs? What dogs?

It's his latest business venture. Another one? We've still got a bathroom

full of guacadu.

When Vincent had started a dog -sitting service.

What? Oh, no, no, Nicholas. You're not going to turn this house into a kennel.

I know.

That's why we're keeping the dogs at Vincent's house. I'm just in charge of

feeding them. You don't care, do you?

No, as long as they stay at Vincent's.

Don't worry, Dad.

I've been around you long enough to know better.

Have you picked out my corsage yet?

Are you kidding? I haven't even decided on a tux yet.

Don't wait till the last minute.

so don't eat anything that would clash, okay?

You're really stoked about this, aren't you? Of course I am.

Being your prom, it's a big deal.

It's a night we'll remember all our lives.

Oh, come on. It's just a stupid dance.

You get conned into dressing like a doorman, spend a lot of cash, and you

up bored still.

She said no, huh?

Oh, come on, Ernie. You're not going to let Sue Swanson get you down?

I mean, there are plenty of other girls to ask.

I was dumb.

I should have started looking midway through my junior year.

I think you're letting the pressure get to you.

Well, what about Stephanie Spratt? Weren't you going to ask her?

She's going with Curt Jenkins.

You know something, Ernie?

Maybe you should consider lowering your standards.

I mean, let's face it, you can't go through your entire life looking for a

Bradford, right now a ten is a four who go to the prom with me.

Well, that stunk.

Oh, come on. It wasn't that bad. I laughed.

Mm -hmm. In all the wrong places.

Well, so I have a weird sense of humor. Okay, weirdo. How about if I open a

bottle of wine, listen to a Sinatra record, and dance the night away?

Hmm.

I'm not sure I can get into that. Well, how about Led Zeppelin in a six -pack?

You're making too much noise.

Wendy?

You woke me up.

Honey, why don't you come over and join us on the couch for a while, okay?

No, it's late.

She should be in her own house.

Wendy, go back into your room. I will be there in a minute, all right?

I don't think she likes me. No, no, no, no.

It's just that she's been that way with every girl I've dated since her mother

died.

Oh.

You know, uh...

It is getting kind of late. I think I'd better go.

Nancy, I don't want you to leave.

Yeah, well, I think the better.

Call

me tomorrow?

Sure. I'm sorry.

What about Shelly Connell?

Bradford, she's a foot taller than me.

Besides, I've quit trying to fool myself.

No girl is going to go to the prom with me.

Ernie. But it's okay.

You see, I've accepted reality.

It doesn't bother me. Really.

I've got it all together.

I found my place in the universe.

I know what I am.

I'm a loser.

Ernie, why don't you just try on a tux, okay?

Bradford, look at me.

Now, what comes to mind?

That's right.

When they put the word nerd in the dictionary, there's gonna be a little

of me right next to it.

Ernie, you're not a nerd.

Now, you're not gonna spoil the prom for us. You're gonna get a date, and we're

gonna have fun.

I wonder what's gonna be on TV that night.

Nerds watch a lot of TV, you know.

Nancy, it sounds like Wendy's jealous of you.

She probably resents you coming between her and Gary.

How long has it been since your mother died?

I think about eight months.

Well, see, that's it. Since her mother died, she probably wants all of her

father's attention. Really?

Are you still going to see him? I'd like to.

Well, don't worry.

I mean, Wendy will warm up to you. Give her time.

Johnny, I don't know.

Hello? Yeah, she is. Just a second. It's Gary.

Thank you.

Hi. What's up?

Oh, that's okay.

No, I understand.

Really.

Right now?

Nothing? No, I just got home from work. Why?

Uh, no, Gary, I don't think so.

Well, not after the way she acted last night.

Are you sure you can't do it?

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, I realize it's an emergency.

Yeah, I know where the school is.

Okay. Well, I'll see you tonight.

Bye.

Well, Wendy's going to get her chance to warm up to me.

Daddy. Well, he had to go on business, so he asked me to pick you up.

I'm not going.

Well, I'm the only one who's come to take you home.

Of course, you have a choice.

You can come with me, or you can stay here by yourself.

Vincent. My dad would drown me for life.

Well, maybe she's got a cold or something.

I never heard of anybody's sister being allergic to a dog.

Well, why don't you put him outside?

It's not that cold.

Listen, I gotta go. I'll call you back in a half hour. Just don't panic, okay?

Oh yeah, bye.

Nicholas. You said I could watch.

I did not. Get out of here.

He's approaching that age.

So, any luck with Ernie?

Nah.

You should see him. The poor guy. He's so depressed.

It's sad.

Does it really mean a lot to you that Ernie goes to the prom?

Oh, yeah. I mean, Ernie and I have been talking about this all year. It wouldn't

be the same without Ernie.

Well... If it's that important, I know this girl.

She lives next door to my cousin.

And she's... Perfect.

What do you mean? You don't even know if she's Ernie's type.

Well, she's female. That's Ernie's type.

Anyway, I think she'll go with him, but I can't guarantee anything.

But there is hope.

And right now, Ernie needs all the hope he can get.

You sure you don't want one?

No, I want to go home.

All right.

Pretty good, though.

You don't like me much, do you? No, I don't. Why?

I just don't. Well,

I don't think you're giving me a chance.

I'm a pretty nice person.

You're not as nice as my mommy was.

Well, nobody can be quite like your mother, but, Wendy, I'm not trying to

Then how come you kiss Daddy?

Because I like him.

You know, your daddy loves you very much.

It's just that he needs to be with other grown -ups sometimes.

He told me that, too.

He did?

Well, I'll tell you something.

We have a lot in common, you and I.

We do?

Yep.

My mother died, too.

She did?

Mm -hmm.

Sometimes I miss her so much, Wendy, I just want to scream.

Me, too.

Yeah, but I never do.

You know, when that feeling happens, what I usually do is I talk to somebody

instead.

Somebody who understands how I feel.

Somebody like you.

Me? Yep.

Because you know how I feel, don't you?

Sad. That's right.

Real lonely.

But I'll tell you something.

You won't feel so lonely if you talk to somebody who understands.

Somebody like you?

Yeah.

Somebody like me.

Come on. You want a lick of this? It's pretty good.

Wendy, I'm starving.

Let's go see what's in here.

Looks pretty barren. We eat out a lot.

Yeah, I can tell.

I'll tell you what.

Why don't you go change your clothes, and we'll go shopping, and we'll

your dad with a big meal. How's that sound? Okay. Be right back. Hurry up.

Gary. Hi.

When did I do to deserve that?

You won't believe what happened. Well, calm down and tell me what happened.

It was fantastic.

It was amazing. What? Which outfit should I wear?

Oh. Hi, Daddy. We're going out shopping. You want to come?

Yeah, I'd love to come.

Which outfit do you like, Nancy?

Well, I like the green one.

Me, too. Be right back.

Okay.

What happened?

She's like a different girl.

Yeah. Bradford, this is an exercise in futility.

Ernie, would you quit being so negative? Maybe she'll want to go out with you. I

don't need this.

I've got some pride.

I refuse to take a mercy date. Ernie, Tammy's a nice girl. I've known her for

long time.

Does that mean you can't lie about me?

I don't have to lie about you. She'll like you just the way you are.

Okay, but at least tell her I had a date for the prom, but she was killed in a

skiing accident.

I'm not going to tell her that.

She'll think I'm desperate.

Ernie, you are desperate. She doesn't have to know that.

Hi, Tammy.

This is Jill, Cassidy.

Yeah, it hasn't been a long time.

Um, yeah, me too.

Me too.

Listen, Tammy, the reason I called...

is that I told a friend, a guy friend about you, and he was wondering if you'd

like to go to the Central High Prom with him.

Yeah, that is a little unusual.

But he's really a nice guy. He really is.

What does he look like?

Oh, he's cute.

I think you'll like him.

He's really got a great personality.

Great. Now she knows I'm a nerd.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, I think we can arrange that.

Um, how about tomorrow?

What tomorrow?

Okay. Okay, I'll see you then. Bye -bye.

Well?

She said she wants to meet you first.

That's it.

I'm finished.

Confidence, Ernie.

Confidence. Oh, yeah, I'm confident, all right.

Confident I'll be shot down again.

How many toys? My dad made me bring them over and my sister couldn't bring them.

We can't keep them here.

There's nothing else we can do.

Want to bet?

Then you think of some way to give a whole bunch of dogbacks to some people

aren't even home.

Get upstairs in my room and shut the door.

He's the worst. He took out my mother's flowers and he keeps on tripping and

rolling down the stairs.

Really? He's the dumbest dog I've ever seen.

He doesn't look very dumb to me. Watch this.

Come on, Rex. Come on, Rascal. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Guess I got him.

Oh, boy.

Gee!

What's the matter with you?

I got a problem. Really? What is it? Ernie.

Ernie? I thought you all got him today.

Well, she did, but the girl wants to meet Ernie first, which should

eliminate any chance of her going to the prom with him.

Why? I don't understand it.

Ernie's just been a complete washout with girls lately.

Well, why don't you help him, for heaven's sakes? Gee, you're his friend.

How? The guy's lost all confidence.

He's practically nominated himself for senior class member most likely to fail.

Well, then he needs some positive reinforcement.

Really, he's not such a bad guy.

I mean, he just needs a rough edge to smooth out a little.

Absolutely.

With the proper coaching, there is no reason why he can't make himself

attractive to women.

In 24 hours.

Gary, Wendy, I want you to meet my dad, and this is my stepmother, Abby. How are

you? How are you doing? Good.

Hi there, cutie. Nice to meet you. Oh, thanks.

Come on, let's go upstairs and meet Elizabeth.

Okay, come on.

Well, Gary, we'll show you the house, okay? Thanks, I'd like that. Good.

Hey, handsome.

Can we join you?

What are you two doing?

Tommy said you'd be here. He wanted to talk to you. Yes. What about?

Can we sit down?

It's your reputation.

Oh, Ernie.

You know, this trouble you're having with girls, it is all in your head.

Boy, does Tommy have a big mouth.

He wants to help. And so do we.

I'm unhelpful.

Ernie, do you know what separates winners from losers?

Self -confidence.

Right. Now, if you project self -confidence, women will be attracted to

That's just the point. I don't have self -confidence. But you can get it.

I mean, you just have to think positive, Ernie. You are only a loser if you

think you're a loser.

Right.

Nancy tells me you're a photographer.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Freelance.

That's nice.

Oh, uh, Nancy?

Listen, I think it's time I take Wendy home. Oh, just a second. Well, just a...

Well, she wants to see our old doll collection.

Dad, is that still down in the basement?

Oh, uh, yes, but, uh, Nancy... I'll be right back.

I'm going to be going out with you. It works.

I feel like a new man. Well, you are.

Well, I must.

Well, you just need a little work with your outfit. Right. And, you know,

just with your hair. Oh, yeah, that's good. And a little splash of cologne.

Now,

just remember.

Confront. You are in total control. You are a man of action. Suave, dashing, and

debonair. Right.

Well, I'll be seeing you ladies.

If you need my number.

It's in the book.

Oh.

Bye.

Bye.

Well, it was really nice meeting you, Mr. Bradford. Right, right.

Bye -bye, Wendy. Bye. Yeah, come on. Let's go, honey. See you. Bye. Have a

time. Right. Bye -bye.

Boy, now, Wendy sure is cute.

Kind of like me when I was her age, right, Dad? Sure.

Exactly.

What did you think?

I think Nancy's in love.

I don't know.

Gary didn't really strike me as a type.

Maybe, but his daughter is.

That's for sure. I've never seen Nancy so animated around a child before.

Did you hear that? What?

I'm not sure.

Before I go to sleep, I'm going to make a wish on a lucky star.

What are you going to wish, honey?

That you become my new mommy.

Oh, Wendy, that's sweet.

Good night.

Sleep tight.

And don't let those bedbugs bite.

I'm going to wish on that same star.

Wish what?

That Wendy's wish comes true.

Oh, Gary. No, I don't say anything yet.

Just think about it, okay?

But Wendy wants you.

Liz?

Liz,

he asked me to marry him.

More people.

Elizabeth, wake up.

Where are they?

He asked me to marry him.

Who did?

Gary.

I don't know what

to do.

I mean, I'm so happy when I'm with Gary and Wendy.

She was so cute.

She asked me to be her mommy.

That's real cute.

You know, I bet I could be a good mother to Wendy.

And of course, Gary's great.

You saw the way he is with her.

He's a good father.

Good father.

What do you think?

I think the three of you will make a very nice couple.

Ernie, what are you doing here so early? We're not supposed to pick the girls up

until 11.

I thought we'd go and have a big breakfast first.

But we're meeting the girls for brunch.

I figured it'd be better if I didn't eat with them. I don't want to look hungry.

Would you relax? This is supposed to be a casual date.

Which brings me to my next question. Why are you dressed that way? It looks like

your mother dressed you.

She did.

Well, she didn't really. She just sort of supervised.

Anyway, your sister said that women like a well -dressed man.

But we're going roller skating afterwards.

So I'll just try not to fall.

What's this?

It's a gold chain, Bradford.

Everybody in Hollywood wears them. Yeah, about ten years ago. And isn't it

supposed to be worn on the inside of the shirt?

Well, then nobody can see them. But in the top of your shirt.

And let Tammy see I don't have any hair on my chest?

Ernie, you're going about this all wrong.

You're way too uptight. You've got to relax. Take it easy.

Right.

Easy.

Gotta be loose.

Very cool.

I've got to take a shower.

A complete master.

Come on, boy. Sit.

Sit. No, it would have been a lot easier if we could do this in your bathroom.

Are you kidding? We're lucky we get to keep him out here.

After you left last night, my dad yelled for a whole hour nonstop.

and then he mumbled to himself about some obedience school, and not for the

dogs. Yeah, he's like my dad, except my dad threatens me with military school.

Oh, Santa!

You know, sometimes it's hard work washing a dog that doesn't want to be

You know what I like about all this?

What?

The way the dead fleas float to the top of the water.

You're weird.

Hey, you, stop it!

One more, one more. She's a natural.

Put a little rouge on her face. Come on, look at me, Wendy. That's it.

Good. Oh, so pretty.

One more.

All right, I'm going to go over here to another angle. So why do you want a

duck? Because they're my favorite thing.

Really?

Yes. Well, they eat out of your hand. It tickles. And I like their feathers.

They're soft and they're always combed nice.

Okay, now keep combing her hair. That looks really good.

There, terrific.

But you know what I like best about ducks?

Know what?

The way they look.

Wendy, hold it, hold it. Terrific, terrific.

I can't. It hurts my neck.

Okay.

That's enough for now. So why don't you go in the bathroom and wash up, okay?

Hey, I'll come help you, okay?

Nancy? Yeah.

When you get done with her, can I talk to you for a minute alone?

Sure, Gary. I'll be back in a second. All right.

Howdy, everybody. My name's Bobby, and I'll be your waiter this afternoon.

Today we have three specials. How's it going, Bobby?

Fine. There's three different specials... I think we know what we

Sure, go ahead.

Ernie, I'd kind of like to know what the specials are.

Jill, sweetheart, I've been here before.

Believe me, you're going to love what I'm ordering.

Okay.

I think we're all going to go with the Fiesta Omelette.

That's easy enough.

Menus?

He's a good waiter.

I eat here all the time. I guess you could say I'm sort of a regular.

Well then, Ernie, why don't you tell us what's in this fiesta omelet?

Oh, I forgot to order orange juice.

Don't worry, you'll have it in a minute.

Bobby! Bobby!

That's okay, Ernie. I think I can wait till he comes back. Oh, no problem.

Bobby! Hey, Bobby, over here!

I think he's ignoring you.

Hey, Bobby!

Ernie, would you cool it? The entire restaurant's looking at us.

Hey, Bobby!

When are you still in the bathroom?

It has been taking forever to get that junk off your face. Oh, yeah? Come here.

Wait. Ooh.

I have been waiting all day to do that. You have? Uh -huh.

You're not supposed to influence your decision.

Gary, I told you I haven't made a decision. Yeah, but you're leaning

I can tell.

You can?

Uh -huh.

It's a small wing, but it's a wing.

Oh, come on.

All right, all right.

Maybe I can influence you by dinner tonight.

The restaurant of your choice.

Well, I don't know. I mean, I think Wendy's a little too tired.

Who's talking about Wendy? I meant a nice, quiet, romantic dinner just for

two of us. You know, we haven't been alone that much.

Yeah, but...

We spent the whole day together. I mean, I don't think we should bring over a

sitter.

She has had sitters before.

Believe me, she will live through it.

Listen, I'm very happy that you love Wendy this much.

But we have a life of our own, too, you know?

Huh?

I know.

All right, all right. Then we're going to have dinner alone tonight, all right?

Why don't you guys skate ahead for a while? I've got to rest a second. Yeah,

could use a break, too.

Hey, we'll see you later, ladies.

I can read women, Bradford. She's crazy about me. Oh, you're sure about that,

huh? It's in the bag.

Ernie, try not to come on too strong too soon, okay? You're scaring her off.

Are you kidding?

Didn't you see the way she grabbed me back there? She was falling down. She'd

have grabbed anything.

That's what she wanted you to think. She planned the whole thing.

You know, I was thinking, maybe I should get my own place right after

graduation. Ernie, let's not hope for too much too soon, all right?

Bradford, the girl's in love.

This guy's a creep.

Really, Tammy, I would not have set you up with a creep.

Ernie's a warm and sensitive guy.

Usually.

Oh, I'm sorry, Joe.

I mean, you know I really like you, and I like Tommy.

But I just can't go out with him again.

Well, don't jump to any hasty conclusions. Think about it.

Every time I think about it, I get nauseous.

It's not entirely from that fiesta omelette.

How's the hen?

Very good.

Good. Good.

You feel?

It's good. It's good.

Good.

How did Doc Martin look?

Good for an upswing?

Yeah. It's looking very...

Foolish. Good.

Good.

You know, Wendy said the funniest thing to me.

We weren't going to talk about Wendy, remember?

Yeah.

Sorry. It's okay.

Wendy's a part of our lives, so of course we want to talk about her.

But it's time that we talked about ourselves.

Well, I mean, there's certain times we have to talk about Wendy because

Gary, you're talking about talking about Wendy.

Wendy, I'm sorry.

So, Nancy?

Have your vegetables.

How was your date?

Horrible. Why? What happened?

Nothing happened.

That's what was so horrible.

Do you know, we spent four hours sitting across from each other talking about

our food.

Well, every couple has a bad night every now and then. I thought you really

enjoyed spending time with Gary.

Well, that's when Wendy's with us.

Oh. Yeah.

Tonight it was just the two of us.

You know, our lack of conversation gave me plenty of time to think.

I think it hit me right before dessert.

What?

Abby, I was never serious.

I mean, really serious about Gary.

Not until I got involved with Wendy.

And now, we're talking about marriage.

I think you should stop thinking about you and Wendy and start thinking about

you and Gary.

I can't think about Gary without thinking about Wendy.

And I can't think about Gary.

without wondering whether I really love him.

Rex! Chimba!

Here, Rex! Come here, Rex! Come here, Chimba!

What do we do if we don't find him? Oh, we'll find him, don't worry.

Remember, Merle, you're not dealing with your average dog here. This one has

brain damage.

Maybe he got dogmapped.

Are you kidding?

That dog is such a pain.

We checked the dog pound and the park.

What we have to do now is think, where would we go if we were a dog?

A fire hydrant. Come on, Vincy, get serious.

Hey, the secret is, it's not think like a dog. I mean, just think like Rex.

Okay, then. Where would we go if we were stupid?

Thank you this morning.

Oh.

Hey, do you have your lunch?

Yeah, in my bag.

Daddy said it's my favorite, peanut butter and jelly. He said there was a

surprise inside, but I can't look at your lunchtime.

You think your daddy's pretty wonderful, don't you? Sure I do. I love you, too.

Well, give me a hug.

Good girl. Now, you hurry up. I don't want you to be late. Okay.

Hi. Where's Tommy?

He's upstairs changing.

Oh. It's nice to see you again.

Thanks.

Listen, Ernie, um... Tommy told me that you're having a little trouble getting a

date for the prom. I told him not to tell you.

It's nothing to be ashamed of. I just don't understand why you can't find

someone. Well, let me spell it out for you.

I'm a nerd.

That isn't true.

When we went out, I had a great time.

Listen, I've been out with a lot of nerds in my life, and you haven't come

close. Sure, it was easy with you.

You already knew me.

I didn't have to try and impress you.

Why should you have to impress anyone?

Just be yourself.

Show them the real Ernie Fields, because you know what?

He's a pretty terrific guy.

You think so?

Yes, I do. And apparently, Jack does too, because all I have to do is mention

your name, and he gets real jealous.

Really? He actually gets jealous?

Yeah.

I like that.

But I have to get back to work. Come on, I've already taken an hour for lunch.

This will only take a minute.

Are you sure you can't wait? Nope.

Besides, we are already here.

What?

There it is.

Right.

Of course, I'll probably have to mortgage the house to pay for it, but...

I think you're worth it.

Gary, you're pushing me.

Look, I told you, I need more time to think about this. I'm not pushing.

I'm just trying to motivate you a little.

You're pushing.

Okay, I'm sorry.

It's just that I want to get Wendy's life and my life back in order.

I think the three of us are the real thing.

I've got to get back to work.

We'll talk about this tonight, okay?

Okay.

Bye.

See, Tammy?

This is it.

This is the way I really dress.

The sports jacket was my mother's idea.

You're kidding.

And the restaurant?

I never talk to waiters like that.

I'm a fry cook at the Cluck and Chuck.

The Cluck and Chuck?

To sum it all up, nothing I did or said the other day was really me.

I was putting on an act.

Why?

Well, I figured you wouldn't like me the way I really am.

Which is the way you are now?

Right. I just wanted to make sure.

I mean, it's been months since I went out with a girl.

I had date fear.

That can be pretty deadly.

Well, I just wanted to tell you and to say I'm sorry you had a rotten time.

It's okay.

Well, I hope I see you around.

Ernie?

Yeah?

Um, if you still need a date for the prom...

Can I come in? Sure.

We missed your dinner.

I'm sorry, Dad.

I've just got too much on my mind to think about eating.

Would you care to talk about it?

You know what it is.

Gary.

Dad, I've tried and tried to convince myself I'm in love with him.

I'm just not sure.

If you were in love, you'd be sure.

Yeah, maybe.

It's just that since I've been with Gary and Wendy, well, all sorts of new

feelings are coming out in me.

Like what?

Well, like maybe I am ready to settle down and start a family.

Well, that's a nice feeling, but I mean, are you sure Gary is the man you want

to do it with?

I guess not.

You can't consider marrying someone that you don't love.

Well, I love Wendy.

I've grown so close to that little girl that giving her up would be like giving

up my own child.

Believe me, I know how strong the love for a child can be.

But that's no reason to get married.

After your mother died, I started seeing different women.

And I was looking for a woman that could be a mother to my children.

I remember, Daddy.

You dated quite a few.

Right.

But that was the wrong approach.

I had to find a woman that I was in love with, a woman that loved me.

And a mother for the children.

You see, if a man and a woman don't love each other, the children sense it.

And eventually they get hurt.

I guess that wouldn't really be the best thing for Wendy, would it?

Or for you and Gary.

Thanks, Dad.

I wonder where Ernie is. He should be here by now.

He's probably being grilled by Tammy's parents. They're very protective.

Oh. Hey, Nance.

Oh, don't you two look great? Not bad, huh?

Seems like a million years since my senior prom.

Guess what? It was.

Enjoy yourself.

Good night, Nance. Night.

Oh, hi.

You look great.

Have a good time.

Thanks, Nath.

Bye.

Good evening, Thomas.

Jill, sweetheart.

Don't you think you should get ready? We have to be off.

Cut it out.

I'm only kidding.

Hey, guys, I gotta get a shot of this, okay?

Elizabeth, can I talk to you a minute?

What's up?

Tommy, take a picture of the girls. Okay.

Okay, now get together.

Okay, let's smile.

Here. No, no, no. This is for you.

I thought it'd be nice to wear around the house.

I love it.

Well, I just wanted to say thanks for... Well, you know.

Hey, I didn't tell you anything that you didn't already know.

I just needed to hear it from somebody I care about.

You know, you really are a terrific guy.

Yeah, I think Tammy's starting to think so, too.

I better get back there before she changes her mind.

Listen, will you do me a favor?

Sure. Will you pin this on me?

Give me a break, Elizabeth. I'm nervous enough as it is.

Hi. Hi.

Didn't think you were coming.

I almost didn't.

Come on in.

Where's Wendy?

Oh, I put her to bed.

Oh, good.

I have something to tell you and... It's better that we talk alone.

Yeah, sure.

Gary, I can't marry you.

Well, I had a feeling this was coming.

Oh, I like you.

I like you a lot.

I just don't love you.

But the three of us have had such a great time together.

The three of us?

The only thing we share is our love for Wendy.

It's not enough.

Nancy, Nancy, now give it some time.

No. Look, the more this thing drags out, the more attached to Wendy I'll become,

and the more attached she'll become to me.

Yeah, sure.

Gary, we both painted a pretty picture for ourselves.

Cozy house.

A beautiful child.

But let's face it.

We don't love each other.

Nancy, you can't say I don't love you.

Look, remember at the jewelry store when you said you were in a hurry to marry

me?

I am.

Right.

Except you didn't say it was because you loved me.

You said it was because you wanted to get Wendy's life in order. But that's

important. Sure it is.

That's not what's most important.

I'm not marrying Wendy.

Wendy? Are you awake, honey?

Yeah. I was waiting up for you. I knew you'd come.

Yeah.

I came over tonight.

But I won't be coming over anymore.

Why?

Remember when you asked me to be your mommy?

Yeah.

I'd like that, sweetheart.

More than anything in the world. I really would.

But I can't.

Why?

Because being your mommy means being your daddy's wife, too.

And I can't be that.

I want you to be my mommy.

Don't cry, baby. Don't cry.

Wendy, look at me.

I can't be your mommy.

But I can be like a big sister to you.

We can still go shopping now and then.

And you can come over to my house and visit anytime.

I can?

Yes, you can.

But I want you to promise me something.

What?

Well, when other women come over to visit your daddy, you'll be real nice to

them.

You'll be open like you are with me.

And you'll show them what a nice grown -up girl you really are.

I'll try.

I love you, Wendy.

I love you, too.

That's Rex's owner. We gotta think fast.

I don't think we should have tried washing him in the first place.

Well, it was your idea. I mean, free wash with every sit.

Okay, okay, so I made a mistake, all right?

Listen, we're just going to have to tell him the truth.

Rex is gone, and we lost him. Hey, wait a minute.

How about if we give him one of the smaller dogs and say that he shrunk when

washed him?

Vincent, he would never buy that.

Hi, boys.

Oh, hi.

Fellas, I came by to tell you how sorry I am about what happened with Rex.

Afraid it was my fault.

It is?

Mm -hmm. You see, I should have told you about the problem he has with running

away. We can't keep the old rascal anywhere.

He just keeps sniffing his way back home.

You mean he isn't lost?

Oh, goodness, no. He was sitting on his steps when we got back.

Smart dog, you know.

Well, I have to be on my way, but... Thank you, boys. Thanks a lot.

Yeah, no more Rex to worry about.

I'm afraid one more dog like Rex and we're going to have to quit the sitting

business. I got news for you, Vincent.

I'm getting out.

Now. Maybe you're right.

Nicholas!

What? I think I solved your problem.

What problem?

I found him on somebody's front steps on Elm Street.