Original subtitles

It'll only take a second.

Okay. Here, hold this.

So, how's married life?

Oh, it's nice.

It's kind of like living with your best friend.

Janet's your best friend?

But she's your wife.

Well, that's part of what a wife should be.

I thought they'd just clean the house and stuff.

Nicholas Bradford! That is very chauvinistic thinking.

Marriage happens to be a partnership.

A man and wife should share in everything, Nicholas, including the

Everything?

Everything.

Good. Share in this.

I've got a game.

A little higher, please.

When the sun.

We spend our days like bright and shiny new dawn

If we're ever puzzled by the

changing time There's a plate of

homemade wishes On the kitchen window sill

And it is enough to fill our

missing. Tom, I had no idea it was this serious.

Oh, that's very funny. I happen to have a tennis match this morning with Greg

Maxwell. If I show up with my ankles hanging out, he's going to make fun of

for the entire match, and that's a definite psychological disadvantage.

Oh, I guess I just didn't appreciate the intricate nuances of the game.

That's right. There's a lot more to tennis, you know, than just hitting a

back and forth.

I'm beginning to understand that now. Well, then, if you understand, would you

please tell me where are my white tennis socks?

Does anybody have anything to say?

We're sorry, Dad.

Sorry does not excuse the fact that my only pair of tennis socks have been

sitting in the dirty clothes hampers since the last time I played tennis,

weeks ago.

Yeah, can't you just wear another kind?

No, one does not play tennis in argyle support hose.

Look, the point is, not only has the laundry been neglected, but so has every

other household duty that prevents this house from becoming a pigsty.

Dad, this house is not a pigsty. It's a little messy, maybe, but we've all been

very busy. Yeah, Joanie's right.

We've all been busy, Dad, and I think you're overreacting. Don't say it. I am

not overreacting. The dust on the coffee table is a quarter of an inch thick. I

measured it. The windows are dirty, the floors are spotted, and I don't

particularly enjoy drinking my coffee out of a Winnie the Pooh mug.

It's the only one that was clean.

You really measured?

Look, I know you kids are under a tight schedule, you understand, but that's no

excuse for abdicating your responsibilities.

Am I making myself clear? Yes.

All right, I am going out now to play a tennis match. A tennis match that I will

probably lose because of these socks. While I am gone, I strongly urge you to

change your cleaning schedule and put it into practice.

Wish me luck.

That's it.

Okay,

guys, take it easy. And don't be late. These gigs aren't easy to come by. We

wouldn't miss it for the world. All right.

Catch you later, huh? Okay.

Debbie Ellman's party. I can't believe it. Yeah, just remember, we're there to

play, not to party. Well, we have to take breaks, don't we?

Yeah.

Close, Bradford. It could have broken.

I thought it already was.

Well, just on the inside.

I mean, it still looks good. You know, Ernie, you're probably the only kid in

America that actually carries a pocket watch.

It gives me character.

Girls like character.

Especially the kind of girls that Debbie Ellman hangs out with. The kind that

grow up to do toothpaste commercials.

Hey, you want a beer? That stuff your old man buys tastes like tree bark.

He gets it on sale.

I think it's brewed somewhere in Oklahoma.

Yeah, well, if he catches on, he's gonna brew you.

I don't think he'd even say anything.

Only because I'm not totally sure he knows exactly who I am.

Come on, Ernie, don't be stupid.

Well, I think he has a pretty good idea.

After all, I am around the house a lot, but we never speak.

Well, that's not completely true. Once in a while, I call him Mr. Fields and

him if Ernie's home.

Gets him real confused.

You moron. Give me a beer. All right.

Now that's my man.

Hey, here's to rock and roll music. And Debbie Elman. I hear ya.

So you really think we can break the world's record?

Sure, lots of people do.

Yeah, but we're just kids.

Kids are people too, aren't they? That depends on who you're asking and what

kind of mood they're in.

Well, everyone will want to talk to us because we'll be famous.

So what are we going to try?

I made a list.

Let's see.

Here's some of the stuff I think we have a chance at.

I didn't bother with stuff like the pole vaulting and race car driving.

Good thinking.

And paddle ball.

There's one we can do.

A maid? Once a week. If we all chip in five bucks. Including you. And Tom.

Right, then we can afford it.

No sweat.

What do you think?

I don't know. Please, Abby, we spent the last hour trying to figure out a

cleaning schedule that we could live with, but our weekdays are full.

And who wants to spend weekends doing housework?

Yeah, and it'll mean less work for you, too.

Maybe it's not such a bad idea.

Great, we'll get started right away with the interviews. Yeah. All right.

Oh,

one more thing. The sooner you talk Dad into it, the better.

Where did I go wrong, Bradford? I thought she liked me.

She did, Ernie, until you slobbered all over her.

Those things shouldn't matter when you're crazy about someone.

I don't think she was crazy about you, Ernie. Oh, yeah? Did you see the way she

looked at me when I told her I never felt like this before?

Yeah, she thought you were going to be sick all over. What went wrong,

A couple of things, Ernie.

Number one, you couldn't remember her name.

And number two, you kept picking the lint off of her sweater.

Oh. Hey, at least you could help a little. Help what?

Walk. I told her she was a ten, didn't I?

Yeah.

But that was before you discovered the dandruff. Sit down for a second.

Too bad.

Shot her down to a six and a half. You told her that, too.

I could have sworn it was lint.

Okay, now, Ernie, we have to try and be really, really quiet, okay?

Okay. My dad is a sound sleeper, but if you knock over the refrigerator or

something, he's liable to wake up. Hey, Bradford. Thanks for...

You know.

Yeah, I know, Ernie. My dad never sleeps.

He would have killed me if he could have figured out who I was.

Shh.

Oh, no.

Dad, it's not like you think.

It's 2 o 'clock in the morning. Ernie has passed out on the couch. I can smell

your breath from here. What am I supposed to think?

Okay, so I had a couple beers. So what?

That's two more than the law allows at your age. That's what. How about Ernie?

How many did he have?

He had a couple more.

A couple?

Okay, so he got wasted. But everybody does that every once in a while. Let me

tell you something. Once in a while is once too often. Now, do you read me?

Loud and clear.

Do Ernie's parents know that he's here?

I already called him. I told him he was asleep.

What are you going to do?

This time, nothing.

But it better not happen again.

It won't.

And that goes for you as well.

I'll put up with a lot of things, but drinking while driving is not one of

I really called her at six and a half?

Twice. You didn't think she heard you the first time.

Wow, I was really out of it.

Your dad pretty sore?

Oh, boy, was he.

Probably didn't play too swift, either.

Are the guys mad?

Well, they said something about burning your piano, but other than that, nothing

too serious.

Oh, well.

I'll just have to wow them next time.

Way to go, Nicholas. You're doing great. But I've only gone ten feet.

Yeah, but you haven't tripped or nothing.

Hey, Bradford, I got a great idea.

Let's roll to the liquor store and get a six -pack. I got an I .D.

You want beer?

After the way you felt this morning?

It's the best thing for a hangover.

Boy, Bradford, you sure are ignorant in the natural sciences.

Forget it, Ernie.

If my old man catches me with booze anywhere near this van, he's gonna blow

up.

Just keep your eyes open, Marvin. I don't want to bash into anything and hit

head and get amnesia.

I think I just found a place that delivers.

See this dollar, Nicholas?

It could be yours.

Sometimes, after a long, hard day, nothing quite hits the spot like a cold

Right, Nicholas?

Start talking.

ever steal another beer, you'll set the record for standing up because it'll

hurt too much to sit down.

You said that this wouldn't happen again.

No one's been drinking.

Oh, I suppose this was going to be a new hood ornament, right? I wasn't going to

drink it. Well, someone was and you stood by while Ernie conned Nicholas.

I didn't even know what he was doing. I already told you I thought it was a dumb

move. That's right, Tommy. It was a very dumb move.

I happen to be fond of Ernie, but I'm anything but fond of the stunts he's

pulled around here lately.

I'll tell him to knock it off. You're both too young to drink, and I want it

stopped. Wait a minute. How did I get dragged into this? It's Ernie we're

talking about. Because he's your friend. As long as he's around this house, it's

your responsibility.

Well, you make it sound as though I did something wrong.

I'm saying that you share the blame. I'm saying that I want this behavior

stopped, because if it doesn't, Ernie isn't going to be allowed around this

house anymore.

handles like a truck bradford you really need a tune -up where have you been i

figured i'd better get out of here until things cooled off oh that's great i get

the heat while you take a joyride your dad was mad at me not you then why did i

get yelled at should i know he's your father it was your stupid can of beer

pal if i want to get yelled at i can go home then go i will goodbye friend

interviews tomorrow morning at 8 o 'clock. Who is it? Miss Kilpatrick? She

seemed pretty nice on the phone.

Abby, have you talked to Dad yet?

No, not yet.

Abby, you're kidding. The first interview's tomorrow.

Well, I just haven't found the appropriate time to talk to him.

He hasn't been in the best of moods lately, you know.

I'll talk to him tonight. I promise.

Is it good?

What?

What's ever playing on the ceiling.

Must be better than what's on this thing.

Ernie and I just had a fight.

You know, right after we had our fight.

I see.

I know you were probably right, Dad.

You don't understand. Ernie has a lot of family problems.

Oh, I didn't realize it was that bad.

It's just that he and his dad don't talk.

I don't understand it.

Mr. Field seems to be an okay guy to me, but to listen to Ernie talk, you'd

think he was Frankenstein.

Well, all fathers seem like monsters to their kids at one time or another.

Yeah, but his seems that way all the time.

To tell you the truth, I think Ernie wishes that you were his father and he

a part of this family.

He's been around this house enough to qualify.

He's always telling me how great you are.

Oh, of course you set him straight, right?

Of course.

Oh, thanks a lot.

Tommy, why don't you invite Ernie over here tomorrow night for dinner?

I could talk to him.

Give him some of my corny advice.

I don't think he'd come, Dad.

I mean, he knows you were pretty down on him.

Oh.

Well, you could tell him that David and Janet will be here.

And Susan and Merle.

Tell them I was counting on the whole family.

I can hardly keep my eyes open.

Well, I think I'll stay up a little longer, okay?

Okay.

Good night, son.

Oh, sleep tight, Frankenstein.

Listen, there's something I have to talk to you about. It's the tie, isn't it?

It's too loud. Actually, it's... Well, it'll just have to do because I'm late.

Oh, I wonder who that could be. It's, um... Miss Kilpatrick.

Kilpatrick, miss.

Oh, Bradford, mister.

Forty dollars a day is my rate.

I think that's reasonable, don't you? Oh, well, I... what?

I know most people charge by the hour, but...

I hate living by the clock.

I won't disappoint you, Mr. Bradford.

I'm very good at what I do, and I always give my customers their money's worth.

I never heard of door -to -door.

Look, miss, this is a nice neighborhood.

Just what are you trying to say? I'm not good enough for you? Look, I've had

plenty of other offers. Now, do you want me or not?

Hey, I thought you had geography this period.

You can never find the room.

You know, you ought to get that fixed.

I tried.

Keep stopping.

Man.

The courage to be is the courage to accept yourself in spite of being

unacceptable.

You really liked your grandfather, huh?

Yeah.

He talked.

I remember he used to use it to crack walnuts.

That's probably why it doesn't work, huh?

Probably.

My dad would really like you to come by the house for dinner.

No, I don't think so, Bradford.

Oh, no, it was all his idea, really.

And if you don't come, he said something about disinheriting you from the

family.

Your dad's so corny, Bradford.

That's true, Ernie. Very true. But he doesn't use his watch to crack walnuts.

Finally did happen with Miss Kilpatrick. You know, she left before we even had a

chance to interview her. Yeah, she told Dad that he was just too weird to work

for. So did Abby straighten things out with him? Eventually.

And? And we can hire a maid on a strictly trial basis.

That's great.

Well, providing, of course, that Dad gets the final approval. Well, that's

fair. And that he doesn't ever have to answer a door by himself again.

Who's waiting, boys?

You know something, Bradford?

You got a great doorbell.

Oh, no.

Honey, drinking.

Bradford, don't you know anything about the social graces?

After five, you don't drink. You have cocktails. I don't believe this. You're

not even going to make it through dinner.

Fellas, come on in. You're missing a terrific game. Thanks, Dad.

And Abby says to tell you dinner will be ready in 20 minutes. Right, Dad.

Look, I'm going to have to tell him a story. Tell him you had to cancel or

something. Cancel?

It's not polite to cancel. Hurry.

Oh, wait.

Okay, Ernie, open up.

Who is it? Me.

You hanging in there?

Yeah. Good boy.

Here, I brought him another cup of coffee. All right.

Everyone downstairs is beginning to think I'm a caffeine freak.

Hey, you guys, I really appreciate this.

How's he doing?

Well, from his standpoint, he couldn't be better. No pain, believe me.

You know, a cold shower might help.

You gotta get out.

Don't try to break the shower record.

I need to use it. Move.

He's only got 14 more days to go. What are you doing?

The water has to be cold.

Dinner.

Oh, great.

You know, the irony was that the guy settled out of court for more than he

suing. Oh, wow, he must have been a pretty smart attorney. Really, or the

guy had a pretty...

Either that or a dumb pretty one.

Hey, who cooked dinner? Elizabeth, you?

Mary, green macaroni and cheese.

Thank you.

You always work good with macaroni and cheese. That's right.

So, Mary, how's school going?

School's going great. You know, we're just starting to get... You know what

problem with school is?

Mr. B, who do you pick for the pennant next year?

Yeah, yeah, American or national?

Both. You know what I think about baseball?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Everything's wet.

I'll clean it up.

Ernie, it's okay.

I didn't mean to, honest. Ernie, stop.

I think you better leave the table.

But why? I didn't do it on purpose.

I know. We'll talk about it later.

But why?

Ernie, you're excused.

Just like that, I'm excused. Well, what the hell is that supposed to mean?

Ernie, shut up. No, you shut up, Bradford.

Oh, you shut up. You don't want me here to say so. Don't blame me on a little

milk. Ernie, get out right now. Get out of this house. I'll get out of your

house. You bet I will.

Tommy, he may be your best friend and all that, but I think Ernie has a

Dad, you're being melodramatic.

Ernie's got it rough at home, I told you that.

I'm sure that's why he's been drinking too much.

Is it? Or is that just some kind of an excuse?

You yourself said that Mr. Fields wasn't so bad.

But that's different.

I mean, I don't have to live with him.

With the way you're talking...

Ernie needs a shrink.

Maybe he does. That's no disgrace. He needs help, some kind of help, and his

parents should know about it.

But that's the worst thing you could do.

I mean, you can't tell his parents.

Tommy, this is not some adolescent school stunt. This has happened once too

often. Now either you tell his parents, or I will.

I think it's important to get in touch with the real world.

That's why I applied for this job.

Do you have a garbage compactor?

Uh, no, I'm afraid we don't. Oh.

Then what do you do with the garbage?

It goes in the garbage can.

Oh. And then what happens?

Someone takes it outside.

By hand?

By hand.

Wow, that's radical.

Audrey, even with a compactor...

The garbage eventually goes outside.

It does?

How old are you?

Sixteen.

Audrey, have you ever cleaned a house before?

Sure.

Audrey.

Well, I know how to do it. I watch our maid all the time.

Row, row, row your boat, get me down the stream.

gently down the stream.

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.

Would you stop, boy? You were going great. How am I going to sing this dumb

for 105 hours?

What are you worried about? You know all the words.

Well, what about school? I can't sing in class.

Sure you can. Just keep your teeth closed.

You know, sing real quiet. If the teacher calls on you, sing out the

I sing the answer?

Yeah, like if she asked you what the pilgrims did when they invented

Thanksgiving, you could say, I think that the guys who lived at Plymouth Rock

ate a lot of turkey and took off all their socks.

Marvin, you're a nerd.

Well?

Hi, Bradford.

Is that it? Just hi, Bradford?

What can I say?

Well, how about starting with something like, uh, I really made a jackass out of

myself last night, and I think you have the right to know why.

I really blew it, huh? Yeah, you really blew it.

Well, these guys I know from shop dropped by, and we went out.

They had a bottle, and... Well, I thought it'd take the edge off before I

over. It took the edge off, all right.

Yeah, well, I guess I got a little carried away.

A little?

Ernie, you were bombed.

How could you do that when you knew my dad was touchy about the situation

anyway?

Sometimes I just don't understand you.

You don't have to rub it in, okay? I feel crummy enough about it.

He hates me, huh?

No, Ernie, he doesn't hate you.

He ought to.

He thinks you have a problem.

He said I should tell your parents or he would.

Bradford, you wouldn't.

No, but I'm not big on lying either, which is what I'm going to have to do if

calls me on it.

I don't have a problem and you know it. I don't have to drink.

Then prove it.

I don't have to prove it. Why should I? Because I'm asking you to.

Okay, I will.

When? Is now soon enough?

Can you make it any sooner?

Look, don't forget about band practice tonight. It's not the same without

keyboards. I know.

I'm the only one who plays loud enough to drown out your crummy voice.

I'll be there. Don't worry.

Mrs. Waterman, how long has it been since you've done this type of work?

Well, the last family I worked for was the Bensons.

That was right before little Huey went off to the war.

I see.

Said he was personally going to kick the Kaiser in the pants.

And I expect to be treated like a human being.

For too many years, the domestic has been the stepchild of the American

workforce. We have been deprived, repressed.

Humiliated and manipulated.

And I, for one, will no longer put up with it.

Do I make myself clear?

Like I said, the only thing that doesn't sit well is having a young child around

the house.

They're so irritating at that age.

My nerves just can't take it. Oh, well, Mrs. Shelley, Nicholas isn't like that

at all. Most of the time you don't even know he's around, right?

He's very mature for his age, really.

Speak of the devil. Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream.

Nicholas. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.

Does he ever stop? Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream. Nope,

He's been singing for six hours and 23 minutes.

Pretty neat, huh?

Yep, somebody named Jean Ruggles.

Nicholas took the call last night. Well, for our sake, let's hope Jean is our

girl. I'll get it.

Hi. Hi. Is this the Bradford house?

Yes, it is.

I'm Jean Ruggles.

Oh, hi.

Wasn't exactly an inspiring session, was it? How great could it be without

keyboards? I thought you said he was coming. He said he was going to be here.

Well, you know what? Ernie's starting to be a pain.

How's he ever going to learn the new stuff by Saturday night?

He'll learn it, don't worry. He better.

Hey, don't go away.

Bradford, Bradford, Bradford.

Oops, wrong guy.

You know, you look a lot like a guy named Bradford.

Of course, he has a better disposition.

Wait a minute, you are Bradford.

Ernie, your breath stinks.

How many did you have?

Who's counting?

You were, remember?

Oh, come on, Bradford. Don't be a drag.

I already had one fight with my old man tonight.

Those your shop buddies?

You're sore about practice, huh?

Well, I'll have you know I had a very good excuse.

My watch broke.

I hear you got a new maid.

Yeah. And don't forget your five dollars, either.

Yeah.

You want to talk about it?

Today, Ernie promised me that he wouldn't drink again.

Now, he just left plastered.

So much for words, huh?

It's like he's a totally different person.

When he drinks, maybe he is.

That's what alcohol does to some people. Well, then why doesn't he stop?

There's a chance that he may not know how.

What are you saying, Ernie's an alky? I mean, he's only 17.

Tommy, the term is alcoholic.

And it doesn't matter if you're 17 or you're 70.

Look, in medical school, we deal in facts, not in myths.

Now, alcoholism is a disease, just like diabetes is a disease.

And it's diagnosed by the inability to stop drinking. It's as simple as that.

Ernie cannot stop drinking.

He could always stop before. But he can't now.

Look, his condition's changed. No one knows why or how it happens, Tommy, but

does.

Ernie needs help.

And he's not going to get it if everyone's walking around blind to his

Have you ever mentioned anything to his folks?

Mary, I can't tell his parents. Don't you understand that? He'd hate me. Do

want to help him?

Of course.

And you've got to care for him enough to let him hate you.

Tommy.

Mr. Fields.

I don't think Ernie's here right now.

I know. I came to talk to you.

Just remember that this was not my idea. I was outvoted, remember?

What a chauvinist.

It has nothing to do with him. Look, he has no authority. That's all himself.

Well, at least he's honest.

I'm just going to do a little vacuuming.

Good. Okay.

There's more to consider than just his honesty, Nancy.

I know. He's cute, too.

He didn't have a choice, remember? There was no one else.

Mary, the guy is a graduate student. He'll learn.

I've known a lot of dumb graduate students.

Yeah, Mary, but this one has a degree in system analysis.

He's working on one in aeronautical engineering.

I'm sure he'll be able to figure out a simple vacuum cleaner.

You little creep.

Ernie. You went to my parents. You actually told them I was an alcoholic. I

them you had a drinking problem.

Oh, you're beautiful.

Just beautiful.

Ernie, let me explain.

I talked to... Cram it, Bradford.

I mean, who do you think you are, Billy Graham?

You're supposed to be my friend, my best friend. That's why I did it.

Oh, yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

What are you going to do for me next, call the cops?

Or how about something really nice, like have me committed? Ernie, listen to me.

No, Bradford, you listen. Can you guess what my dad did when I came home?

I'll give you a clue.

This, and this, and this.

You got it.

Hey, I'm sorry.

Yeah.

He hit him?

That's what Ernie told Tommy.

Oh, I shouldn't have made Tommy tell him.

Mr. Fields is Ernie's father. He has a right to know. So he could hit him?

You couldn't have known that he'd do that?

Well, I feel like I should do something.

I just don't know what.

Why don't you go talk to him? To Mr. Fields?

Dad, look, what if someone came to you and told you that Tommy was an

What would you do?

I don't know.

But I wouldn't hit him.

No, you wouldn't. But Mr. Fields did.

Maybe he did it out of ignorance.

Hitting Ernie may be the only way he can deal with a situation that he doesn't

understand.

Maybe Battle Ball isn't such a bad idea after all.

I don't know what to do. We almost had the singing record until you blew it.

Hey, I hadn't eaten all day. I was starving.

Well, I give up.

I guess we're just not going to set a world's record.

Now we'll have to be like everybody else, unfamous.

What's so big about being famous anyway?

Are you kidding?

When you're famous, you get to drive great cars.

But we're too young to drive.

Well, you always get the best -looking girls.

Marvin, aren't you forgetting? We don't like girls.

Oh, I know. When you go to restaurants, you always get the best tables.

Who cares?

You sure take the fun out of being famous, Nicholas.

Tell you one thing, though.

When you're famous, nobody tells you what to do.

Nobody? Nobody.

to sit there? Do you want to be famous or not?

Hey, we hired a man for that, remember?

I know, but he has to come back tomorrow as it is. If we don't help the poor guy

out, he'll be here all week.

Yeah. Is he still downstairs?

Well, the last time I looked, he was having trouble with the... Stupid

machine. What's wrong with you? You can send a man to the moon, but they can't

build a crummy little... All right.

Wash function cycle, check.

Automatic temperature control.

Check.

Disengage manual override for automatic operation. Check. Detergent. Check.

I can't believe it. I just can't believe this.

One small step for man.

I had a feeling you'd be over here sooner or later.

Ernie's always talking about what a great father you are. Oh, yeah, well, I

So do I, Mr. Bradford.

Look, I know this must be uncomfortable for you, so let me see if I can make it

a little easier.

Ernie is an alcoholic, Mr. Bradford.

He's been an alcoholic for a while now.

But... And it took a lot of guts for Tommy to come over here and tell me

You knew?

Oh, I've known for quite a while.

I guess it just took someone to say it out loud for me to

actually admit it to myself.

I see.

Father was an alcoholic, Mr. Bradford. I'm not unfamiliar with the territory.

But when I saw it in Ernie, I just... closed my eyes.

The irony is that he always had this wonderful image of his granddad, and I

never had the heart to tell him the truth.

I'm sorry.

I love my son, Mr. Bradford.

I want to help him.

But... Ernie told Tommy that... you hit him.

I suppose that... should surprise me, but it doesn't.

Ernie needs a justification for his drinking.

My father did the same thing.

Mr. Bradford, I never hit Ernie.

I just happened to be in the neighborhood and got the worst cramp in

So I saw the van and... Get out of the van, Ernie.

Come on, Bradford.

Out.

I was thinking about what happened and, well, I know you were just trying to

help. So why don't we forget it, okay?

Why don't you just get out of the van?

Hey, listen, I said everything's cool.

For how long, Ernie?

Until you get drunk again?

Okay, okay. I won't drink anymore.

We've been through this before.

I know, but... No buts. I've had it.

And do me a favor.

Pick up your keyboards.

You're out of the band.

You don't mean that.

I said it, and I mean it.

I can't deal with you anymore, Ernie. You've lied about everything.

Your drinking, band practice.

Even your father.

Wait a minute, okay?

Just wait.

I'm not going to wait for you anymore, Ernie.

No more.

You guys better slow down or you're going to wear yourselves out before you

to the kitchen.

The kitchen?

Well, I thought he already cleaned the kitchen.

Oh, he did.

Oh, no.

Okay, you're right.

This Mr. Ruggles guy is not working out, and we all know it. Yeah, we're doing

more work now than we did before.

Yeah, and it's only costing us 30 bucks.

What are we going to do?

Well, I hate to sound like your father, but the danger in hiring someone is that

someday you might have to fire him.

work out, Mr. Ruggles, but... Oh, no, girls, don't be sorry. It's all right. I

completely understand.

And believe me, I knew from the start I was out of my element. I guess I'm just

not mechanically inclined around the house.

Oh, well, it was a good lesson for us, too.

Yeah. We found out that we really did have time to clean the house if we had

Well, goodbye, girls. Bye.

Here, let me... I can do it.

You can do it.

Um, listen... No, no!

Just kidding.

I just came out to get my electric piano.

Oh, sure.

Sure. I was just trying to find an old column.

Listen, I'll get rid of this box and I'll give you a hand. No, that's okay.

I brought a couple of friends.

They have a truck.

I see.

Yeah.

Well, I'll just tell them to back it up here if that's okay.

We won't be long. Sure, that's fine.

Ernie.

You know...

admitting that you need help is nothing to be ashamed of.

Really.

Well, I guess it isn't.

If you need help.

May I tell you a story?

I really have to go, Mr. Bradford.

No, it's a short story. It'll just take a second.

Okay.

I had an uncle.

He was a great guy. He was a lot of laughs. He had a lot of friends.

And he'd go out sometimes and do things.

Things he never remembered until the next day his friends would tell him

them, and he thought it was funny for a while.

Until one day he woke up from one of his blackouts, and he had lost his friends,

his job, and his family.

He didn't think it was funny anymore.

Ernie, he never did admit that he had a problem.

That's not a very nice story, Mr. Bradford.

I know. It's just that I wanted you to know that if you ever do have a problem,

that is, you can always come to me.

I'd better go get the guys.

I didn't mean to interrupt.

I mean, if this is a bad time... No, no, Ernie.

No, I was just about finished. Come on in, please.

I was just about to pour myself a cup of lukewarm coffee. How about you?

Oh, no thanks.

Really, I'm fine.

Sit down.

It's a nice office, Mr. Bradford. Oh, yeah? Thanks.

It's a typical writer's office. Everything looks lived in, right?

Right.

So, how's it going?

Okay.

You know, pretty good.

Good.

Look, I'd better be going. I thought I'd... You know, just say hi.

So... See you around, Mr. Bradford.

I... I... I lost it, Mr. Bradford. I lost it.

Lost what?

The watch.

The watch?

My grandfather's watch.

Oh, Ernie, I'm sorry.

Well, maybe if you retraced your steps.

That's just it.

I can't even remember where I was.

I can't remember anything.

I mean, maybe I didn't even lose it.

Maybe it was stolen.

How could I not know anything?

Did you drink a lot?

Bradford.

Will you help me?

All right, honey.

I'll help you.

Found a new keyboard man yet? No.

Of course, I really haven't been looking that hard.

Really? Sounds like you're hoping Ernie will come back.

Something like that.

You think he'll get better, Dad?

Mr. Field says he's giving it a shot.

You know, I always thought A .A. was just a place for skid row bums. I didn't

realize they had a teenage group.

I know.

We've all been dealing in myths of one kind or another.

Why don't you go and see him?

Dad, he doesn't want to see me. You know that.

I think he's just afraid to make the first move.

I'm afraid the things won't be the same now that he's an official alcoholic.

Well, they won't be. I mean, they'd be better.

So?

Tell him.

Yeah, but I wouldn't know what to say, you know.

How about... Hi, Ernie.

But then what?

And then... Give him this.

I found it over there just a little while ago.

You know something dad?

Sometimes you sure do have a way with words.