Original subtitles

Hey, Nicholas, what are you doing?

Well, I'm building an addition to my playhouse. You're building a hole?

It's not just a hole. It's going to be a hot tub.

A hot tub?

Now, whatever gave you that idea?

Kenny P. Lander's older brother has one at his house. He said it's great for

parties.

Nicholas, you're not old enough for those kind of parties.

Why not? It's just like a pool party, except the water moves instead of the

people. I don't know if this hot tub thing is such a good idea.

Why? It's not just for parties.

Oh, it's good for other things, like what?

Well, it's great for relaxing, and it gets the blood going, and it's excellent

for sore muscles.

Oh, come on, Nicholas. Who are you kidding? You don't have sore muscles.

Oh, yeah? Try building yourself a hot tub.

There's a magic in the early morning we found.

When the sunrise smiles on everything around.

It's a portrait of the happiness that we feel and

always will.

The way it is enough to fill our...

and shiny new dime if we're ever puzzled

by the changing time there's a

plate of homemade wishes on the kitchen window sill

and it is enough to fill

happened to me on the way to the classroom. A guy comes up to me and

can you help me out? I haven't had a bite in a week. So I... I'm sorry,

Nicholas. I just, well, I heard you talking and the door was open and I

control myself.

That's okay. I was just practicing for this dumb speech I have to give in

school. Oh, yeah?

What's it about?

Well, nothing yet, but it's gonna be about Dad.

How could it be about your father? I happen to know he ate breakfast this

morning. No, Tommy said I should start off with a couple of jokes. You know, to

loosen up the audience.

Oh. My experience with fifth grade audiences is that they're pretty loose

already. Yeah, well, I figured if the speech stinks, I can get a few laughs.

How could the speech stink if it's about your father?

Easy. I'm writing it. Well, he's a writer. Why don't you get him to help

No, I don't want to put him through it. You know how much he hates speeches.

No, Nicholas, he hates giving speeches. I'm sure he'd love being the subject of

one. Well, he's not only my business partner. This is my dad, Tom Bradford.

and Craig. Nice to meet you, Mr. Bradford. Ditto here?

Yeah, this is some nice work you've done here.

Yeah, well, you raised yourself one heck of a contractor.

I know. We're proud of you.

Take care, Mr. Bradford. Okay. See you, fellas.

Boy, David, this is an impressive achievement for a man your age. I really

proud of you. Aw, thanks, Dad.

Oh, that reminds me. Let's head over to my office. I have something I've got to

show you.

Oh, yeah?

You know, Dad, we showed a pretty healthy profit last quarter. Really? How

Well, here's your share.

Oh, my gosh, that's wonderful.

You know, when I gave you this money, I never expected to be seeing a profit.

Well, you had a lot of confidence in me, didn't you? Of course I did. It's just

that the father gets used to giving his children money.

He's not used to getting it back.

Well, Dad, this isn't a family. It's a business. A money -making business.

And as my partner, you can expect more of the same. Much more.

Big plans, huh?

Well, there's a possibility I can get a shot at converting a five -story

apartment building over on Euclid Avenue.

Wow. What's stopping you? Well, even if they accept my bid, I'll need new

equipment, a larger crew.

An influx of capital, huh?

It's not uncommon for an astute businessman to reinvent his process.

Right. Would this help?

Dad, you're my kind of businessman.

Yeah. And I assure you that next quarter's check will be much bigger.

I hope it lasts longer than this one did.

Hey, couldn't you have waited until you got to work to put on that stupid

uniform? And change in the two -by -two broom closet?

Forget it.

Yeah, well, you smell like dead chickens. Didn't you wash that thing

I was too tired.

Anyway, after five minutes in the Cluckin' Chuck, everybody smells like

chickens. I don't see how you can stand it. Hey, it's the only place around that

hires high school kids.

Yeah, but only nerds work at Cluckin' Chuck.

That hurt, Bradford. That really hurt.

I'm sorry.

Just do me a favor, will ya?

What? If we run across any girls we know, duh.

Well, what's the matter, Bradford? I don't know. Maybe I blew something.

Well, hey, how am I going to get to work?

Walk?

In this?

Hi,

Liz. How was school?

Boring as...

You were smart to get out when you did.

Why are you so down about?

Oh, I'm not down. I'm just frustrated.

Yeah. I know.

It's culture shock going from a small, secure high school to a large and

personal campus, right?

Yeah. You'd think with 10 ,000 students, half of which are men, I'd meet at

least one who didn't have the personality of a tree stump.

Well, if that's your problem, let me warn you. The world is full of tree

I know.

I just thought college would be different.

Well, on a campus you do have certain advantages.

Like what?

Have you ever thought about joining a sorority?

Oh, come on, Nancy. No Bradford girl has ever been in a sorority.

So what?

You want to meet men, right?

Yeah. Well, where there are sororities, there also happen to be fraternities.

And where there are fraternities, there are... Jerks. Oh, just what I need.

Oh, come on, Mary. You can't make generalizations like that.

Nancy, every frat guy that I knew was shallow, vacuous, and barely literate,

those were upperclassmen. Well, I've met a lot of frat guys who weren't like

that at all.

Well, actually, you're right.

Once at a football game, I did meet a couple of kappa ebbs who were kind of

interesting. Of course, we didn't have too much time to talk before they took

their clothes off and streaked across the field.

Hiya, Tommy.

What, are you having a problem with your van?

Yeah, I'm afraid so. This time I think it's the big kahuna. I threw a rod.

Oh, well, what does that mean?

It means I'm going to have to replace the whole engine.

What? If I'm lucky, I can probably pick one up at the junkyard for about $300.

Come on, where are you going to get that kind of money?

Well, I was kind of hoping that you would... Oh, no, no, nothing doing. When

bought this clunker, I told you it's your responsibility. I'm sorry.

Yeah, but I just spent my last 20 bucks on having it towed here.

Well, I guess you'll have to get yourself a job, that's all.

Now, what kind of a job can I get that won't interfere with school and the

Oh, you know what? Your brother David told me that he needed extra men. Maybe

you could work for David.

Hey, that'd be excellent.

I could put in a few extra hours after school and work full -time on the

weekends.

Heck, I could have the bread for the van in less than a month.

Think he'd hire me?

I don't know why not.

He's the one who sold you this pineapple.

The least he could do is give you a job.

Yeah.

After all, he is the one that sold me this pineapple.

Pineapple.

Good afternoon, Mr. Bradford.

Yeah, it's a pleasure to be home, Mrs. Bradford.

When you have a chance, Nicholas would like to see you in the living room. He

has something very important to ask you. Oh, well, then I'd better see him right

away.

Hi, Nicholas.

What are you reading, the funnies?

The sports page?

Nah, I'm reading your column.

Oh, really?

Oh, well, I didn't know that you read my column.

It's my first time.

Well?

What do you think about it?

Not bad, but it's kind of long.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'll try to watch the length the next time.

Now, I hear that you have something very important that you want to talk to me

about. Yeah.

I have to write a speech about you.

Really? Uh -huh. And I figure I should ask you some questions.

Oh, okay. Shoot.

What do you do?

Oh, what do you mean? What do I do with the register?

I write that column.

That's all?

Well, yes and no.

It's complicated.

It's not something that you can tell someone. You have to show them.

Well, then I guess I'll have to make it up.

Well, you could come to work with me tomorrow and I could show you what I do.

You mean skip school?

Well, this would be like going to school because, uh, you would be like a

reporter recording everything that I do all day long.

Okay. And then you'll have plenty to write about me for your speech.

Great. Will you take me out to lunch, too?

Sure. Where would you like to go?

Clock and Chalk.

And I'll never forget Rod Thiel.

He was a pie caponoo. All I had to do was just see him cross campus and cold

chills would run through my body. He was good -looking.

strong, bright, earthy, and very spiritual. And he had one of those

hairlines that drives me crazy.

Whatever happened to him? Well, I think he dropped out of school to become a

lifeguard. That's spiritual.

Well, I'm sure he's not doing that now. Besides, there's a lot more to sorority

life than just meeting guys. I'm still very close to a few of my sorority

sisters. Well, that does sound like fun. Yeah, it almost makes me wish I was

still in college.

Well, hey, it's never too late.

Have you been talking to Dad?

Really, Elizabeth, you should go by my old house and check it out.

Do they still take pledges in the middle of the semester? Sure, it's not like it

used to be. They take a new gold all the time. I think you'd like it. It's worth

a try. Well, if you want to meet a lot of guys, what have you got to lose?

At this point, anything's worth a try.

Oh, come in.

Hi, Dad. Hi.

I forgot to get you to sign this at the construction site. Oh, yes.

Now, is this going to cost me? No.

By the way, have you seen Tommy?

No, but I saw the van. What happened?

I don't know. I'm not quite sure, but I'll tell you, the damage is pretty

extensive. He's going to need a part -time job to pay for the repairs.

And then I remembered that you said that you might need some extra help.

Forget it, Dad.

Why? Look, I feel badly for him, but I don't think it's a good idea that Tommy

work for me.

Why not?

Because I don't feel right about it. But he needs the money.

Then I'll lend him the money. Dad, I'm a contractor now.

I have to look after a whole crew. I don't have time to look after my little

brother. Boy, oh, boy, I don't understand your attitude.

It's simple.

Family working with family is not good business.

Oh, now, just a second. Suppose I had taken that attitude with you when you

needed help.

And let me remind you that the business is family -owned. And as the major

shareholder and as your father, I'm telling you to hire Tommy.

Now, Nicholas, this is my office.

Pretty neat, Dad.

Oh, yeah, it sure is. Every morning I come in here, there's always a newspaper

waiting on my desk.

You know what I do?

I take the paper, and I open it up to my column, and I check for mistakes.

Shouldn't you check for mistakes before you turn it in?

Oh, no, no, no. I'm not looking for my mistakes. I'm looking for the

proofreader's. Oh.

And if I find a mistake, I quickly put the paper down, pick up the phone, and

tell him about it.

And then does he have to do it over?

Oh, no, no. It's too late. The paper's already printed.

Then what's the use of telling him?

So he won't do it again.

Does he do it on purpose?

No.

But you call him up and yell at him anyway.

Nicholas, I don't yell at him. It's just a system of balancing and checking. If

I don't check on the proofreader, he'll become careless and he'll make the

mistake over and over again.

Well, who checks up on you?

Listen, this isn't that important.

Why don't we skip to the next thing I do?

Sure, Dad, I'm ready.

All right, let's see now.

The next thing I do is make myself some coffee, I guess.

Make some coffee.

the sitting room.

It's where we're supposed to entertain our gentleman callers.

Of course, these days, most houses are pretty loose about those kinds of

Not my house.

Well, anyway, I've showed you just about everything.

Sure is nice.

If there's more to sorority life than just this house, you'll get a real sense

of camaraderie here.

You'll form relationships that will last a lifetime, not to mention the

educational benefits of group study and intellectual interaction.

And, of course, a social life that if you choose to take part in, will have

dragging yourself to class most mornings.

A lot of guys, huh? More than you'll need.

Hey, there's a big bash tonight at Gamma Psi. You should come and take a look.

Tonight? Yes, it's the annual Bowser Bacchanal.

What's that?

Well, Bowser's the frat's mascot, and every year they have this big party

celebrating his birthday.

I met my boyfriend at the last one.

Well, it sounds like a lot of fun. Are you sure no one will mind me coming? Are

you kidding?

This is a frat party. All women are welcome, regardless of race, creed, or

marital status.

You'll do fine.

I can't believe your luck, Bradford.

You need a job, and the next day you're working construction, earning the big

bucks. Well, you make your own destiny, Ernie. You live a good life, and good

things will come to you. It doesn't hurt having a brother who owns a

construction company.

That, too. Man, you've got it made.

You can goof off all day and you can't get fired.

Oh, I won't be goofing off. I'm going to take this job very seriously.

Of course, David will probably make me his assistant. You know, follow him

around, learn the business. Something nice and easy.

While I slave away at the cluck and chuck.

Yeah, well, maybe I could put in a good word for you. You could work for him,

too. Nah, I just got promoted to head fry cook.

I'm starting to build a real future there.

Yeah.

Before you know it...

Maybe you could become head clerk.

Did I show you the teletype?

Yep. Oh, yeah, right.

And I showed you the city desk, the composing room, the secretarial pool.

And the printing press and the lunchroom and Mr.

Randolph's polo trophies. Oh, yeah. Well, very good. We did that.

Now, let's see. The next thing that I do is... Well, I

usually just sit here and try to think of an idea for my column.

Oh. I suppose you could sit here and watch me do that if you want.

I guess.

All right.

Nicholas, what do you say we have an early dinner?

Well, we just ate lunch.

Oh, yeah, that's right, we did.

Well, we've accomplished enough.

What do you say we call it a day?

Now you're talking!

Let's get out of here.

All right.

Hey, now, remember, being a laborer is not an easy job. You've got to do

everything and take orders from everybody.

Oh, I can handle it. Yeah.

And on this job, I'm your boss. Remember that. I know, David. I'm not going to

let you down.

I know. I know.

That kid, the new laborer? Yeah.

Great. We can use another one around here.

You don't know who he is?

No. Who?

The boss's brother.

Not a relative.

I haven't met one yet that could put in a day's work.

This one will.

You think so?

I know so.

Hey, Gene!

Yeah.

Put this guy to work, okay? Good thing, Dave.

Good luck, Tommy. Thanks.

Come on in here.

Okay, Bradford, you see that truck down there?

Yeah. Unload it.

The whole truck?

The whole truck.

Thanks for taking me to work with you today.

Oh, that's okay.

Are you sure you weren't too bored?

Nah. Now when I wonder what you're doing at work, I'll know.

And you think you got enough information for your speech?

I think so. But it sure would be a lot easier if you were a fireman. All right.

Now, if you need any help, don't hesitate to call.

Okay.

Oh, I made it.

I can't believe that I made it.

Tommy, what's the matter?

I'm dying, that's all.

Why? Did something happen at work?

Yeah, today I did the work of four men and a mule.

Oh, well, don't worry. I mean, the first day is usually the toughest.

Tough?

My hair is the only thing on my body that doesn't ache.

You know what you need? A bath with Epsom salts.

Tommy?

Where are you going?

To a Bowser Bacchanal. A Bowser Bacchanal? What's that?

Well, Bowser is a fraternity's mascot.

And in the dictionary, a Bacchanal means a drunken feast.

Oh, it sounds disgusting. How come you want to go to that?

Because I haven't been to a drunken feast in months.

Bye. Bye.

Gabe, you look great in this.

Greg Mitchell, class of 81.

Elizabeth Bradford, I guess. Class of 83.

Geez, I haven't seen you around here before.

Well, Kathy invited me. She wanted me to see what fraternity and sorority life

is really like. Well, come on in. Let me show you around.

Okay.

See, this here's the vice president of our little fraternity.

Hi. You've got to watch your step with him. He's got a reputation of being a

real ladies' man.

Over here, the man in the chair, is our trusted treasurer, Tom Viro.

Tom had a four -point grade average last semester.

Tom, you'll be okay, really.

How many fingers do I have left?

Six.

Okay, Thomas, way to go, way to go.

Elizabeth, hi.

Hi there.

This is my boyfriend, Gilmer.

Hi, Gilmer.

Well, um, we'll see you later, okay?

Okay.

And this, of course, over here is Bowser.

Oh, nice to meet you, Bowser.

Ghost?

Okay,

everybody gather around, gather around. It's ten o 'clock. You know what that

means?

Hey, Bowser.

It's one o 'clock.

You're a smart dog.

Do you think this is the right life for me?

Well, do you?

Bowser, you don't look so good.

Bowser,

I don't feel so good.

talking for you.

David.

David. Oh, no.

Out late last night, eh, Bradford?

Yeah, working here.

Yeah, well, stop yawning and move this pile of lumber over there.

What are these boards doing here?

I moved them here.

This isn't where they belong. They're supposed to be on the other side of the

house. But Gene told me to put them over here.

Tommy, put them on the other side, okay?

David, do you know how long it took me to move these?

You get paid by the hour.

But David... Tommy, move them.

Forget it. I mean, why should I kill myself because of Gene's mistake?

Tommy, you move those boards or you're fired.

Elizabeth, will you just speak to me?

Elizabeth.

Are you all right?

I don't know. I don't remember. It's all a blur.

How does it feel to be the sweetheart of Sigma Chi?

Wonderful.

Looks like you had a pretty good time.

Did you meet any interesting guys?

No. But I had a very nice chat with a bulldog.

Elizabeth, why are you doing this to yourself?

Look, I know that today's college students aren't concerned with the same

that we were when I went to school, but that doesn't mean that you have to be

that way.

Mary, please, I'm not in the mood for lectures this morning. It happens to be

the afternoon.

Oh.

Elizabeth, I've never tried to tell you how to run your life, and I never will,

but it's obvious that you're associating with the wrong kind of people.

No kidding.

Do me a favor and try it my way.

Sure, Mayor.

Whatever you say.

Elizabeth, your room is this way.

Hi.

How's the speech coming?

It isn't.

Uh -oh.

You're having trouble getting started, huh?

I don't know what to say. I've never written a speech before.

Hmm, sounds like a severe case of writer's block to me.

What's that?

Well, it's the inability to get started, the fear of the empty sheet of paper.

It's not the paper I'm afraid of. It's what I might write on it.

Well, what you need is something to take your mind off this fear so you can

start thinking clearly about what you have to write.

Like what?

Well, there's been a lot of studies done on that. Some writers are into jogging,

and some are into meditation.

Has this ever happened to you?

Oh, yeah, lots of times.

What do you do?

I eat ice cream.

All right!

Hiya,

Tommy. How was work?

Oh, it was great, if you don't mind being the village idiot.

Oh, what's the matter? Something wrong?

I'll tell you what's wrong. David's attitude.

He's bending over backwards to prove that he doesn't favor his little

How? By letting those jerks get their laughs at my expense.

They know they can push me around and David won't do anything about it.

Well, did you talk to him about it? Sure.

What did he say?

Do what they say or you're fired.

Oh, come on. That doesn't sound like David.

Maybe not the old David, but the boss David is on a major ego trip.

Look, Elizabeth, I know that the 60s are over, but there's nothing outdated

about doing something worthwhile.

But I don't even know what SST stands for.

It stands for Students for a Sane Tomorrow.

I was a charter member as an undergraduate.

Well, Mary, I know you're trying to help me and everything, but I really don't

think this is... Elizabeth, look, this is your chance to meet men who care

the world that we live in.

Men who are sensitive, men who are intelligent, men who have more to do

their lives than...

Then guzzle beer and throw food at each other. All right, okay. Just tell me

where the meeting is.

Hayden Lounge.

Second floor of the student building.

It's my feeling we should emulate the Chinese paradigm.

Surround the cities from the countryside.

But the idea of a viable proletarian revolution is dead. That's where you're

wrong, Sheila.

What do you think? Is the revolution dead or merely in a state of dormancy?

I don't know. Maybe it just took a long lunch.

Would the young lady with the disarming wit care to join us? Well, is it

students' first name tomorrow?

One and the same.

Why don't you have a seat?

My name is Herb Dubin.

Elizabeth Bradford.

Glad you could come, Elizabeth.

Now, what were we talking about before we digressed into polemics?

We were discussing the disco fundraiser. Oh, yes, yes, yes. And whether or not

the proceeds should go to saving the whales or aiding the Kurdish rebels,

Elizabeth, what's your opinion on the subject?

The Kurdish rebels?

Yeah.

Where's Kurt?

Come here to talk to me about Tommy. Get ready for me to change the subject.

Now, wait a minute. Look, David, I've never interfered in your business,

Yes, you did when you told me to hire Tommy. Oh. Oh, okay, okay.

But, I mean, aren't you the least bit concerned that your brother is miserable

on the job?

Either he can cut it or he can't, Dad. I can't hold his hand.

Yeah, but the other men... Are giving him the business. I know that.

I don't know.

What can I do about it?

Well, can't you talk to them?

And make it look like I'm protecting my little brother?

I'd alienate my entire crew.

Look, Dad, I didn't like hiring Tommy for this very reason.

If he doesn't like the way he's being treated, he has to handle it himself or

leave.

But we're talking about your brother.

My grown brother, who has to learn to stand up for himself.

And he has to learn that by himself.

Yeah.

Maybe you're right.

If I'm not, why are you here instead of Tommy?

Okay, everybody, that's it. See you next week.

Keep the faith.

I thought you might want to read this.

What is it?

The SST Manifesto.

I wrote it with your sister and another member the night we occupied the

administration building.

Oh, I bet it's really radical.

Yeah, for an ideological tract, it has its share of high points.

Here, you can have this copy.

Thanks.

Uh, listen, if you went to school with my sister, then how come you still

haven't graduated?

You think I'm just one of those professional students, don't you?

No, I was just wondering. Look, I just switched majors, that's all. I started

out in political science, and then the war ended, so I got into ceramics, of

course. And then when everybody was getting back to the land, I switched to

agriculture.

I even grew my own food in the dorm.

Well, what are you majoring in now?

Business. I think it's the only way to truly understand the bourgeois

Of course.

Well, thanks for the book.

Say, Elizabeth, there's an East Indian movie playing at the Biograph tonight.

Would you like to come with me?

I don't think so, Herb. Thanks.

You must have other plans.

No. I just don't think that that movie is quite relevant enough.

What do you mean?

It has to be relevant.

It's in subtitles.

Hey, little brother, did you pull the nails out of that panel like I asked

No, I haven't had a chance. I'll get to it after the break.

Hey, man, you got a job to do. You break after you do it.

Is, uh... Anybody seen my hammer around?

It should be in your tool belt.

I know.

Has anyone seen it lying around?

Now, a worker's never supposed to lose sight of his tools.

That must have been the first thing your brother told you.

Thanks for the tip.

Oh, wait a minute.

Is that your tool belt?

You're pretty funny.

Okay, boys, break's over.

David, I can't take any more of this. Calm down. It's just hard hat humor.

Look, I didn't come here for a hard time. I came here to work and earn some

money. Then do it.

Now, how can I if they won't let me?

I can't fight your battles for you. But does it take a battle to get treated

equally? Come on, stop acting like a martyr, huh?

Oh, come on, man. I'm your brother.

Everywhere but here. Here, I'm your boss.

Okay. Okay, boss.

You can start looking for a new lackey, because I quit.

Look, you need that van to operate Bradford.

How else are you going to get the bucks?

Besides, this place kind of grows on you. Yeah, like fungus.

Well, at least you don't have to put up with any construction workers.

The Cluckin' Chuck gets a very chick clientele.

Hey, look, all you got to do is to take this bus cart around, clean off the

dirty tables.

It's a cinch once you get it down.

And if anyone from school shows up, you can hide in the back room.

Oh, that's just what I need.

Good luck. Hey, where are you going?

Bradford, you're forgetting.

I got promoted to head cluck.

This is your turf now.

You mean I actually have to wear this thing?

Bradford, you represent the cluck and tuck now. You have an image to uphold.

Elizabeth, you're starting to get me depressed.

Oh, come on.

Every freshman goes through a rough time.

I would have, too, if I'd lasted through a semester.

Come on, cutie. Snap out of it.

Please.

I just don't know what I'm going to do, Nancy.

Well, I thought you were going to join a sorority.

No, Mary's right. Greek life is just an escape.

Yeah, but Elizabeth, if that's what you really want to do, then you should...

Elizabeth, how did it go with the SST?

Oh, it was a riot.

Oh, I guess things haven't changed.

What do you think? Are you going to join? I don't know, Mary.

What's SST?

Oh, it's a student activist group on campus.

Why would you want to belong to something like that?

Well, maybe because she's interested in raising her consciousness.

Look, Mary, why don't you let Elizabeth decide what she wants to do instead of

you telling her? All right. Look, why don't you two just give me a break and

shut up?

I'm tired of everyone trying to run my life for me, and I've had all the frat

rats and intellectual hypocrites I can handle. So just leave me alone.

Hey, Nicholas.

How's your speech coming along?

Am I proving to be an entertaining subject?

Not really.

Oh.

Well,

that's nice. May I see what you've written so far? You don't mind if I take

little peek, do you?

My father sits all day long at a big desk.

Is that all you've written?

That's all, because that's all you do.

Oh, you mean just like what you're doing right now.

It's not so easy, is it?

Especially when you've got writer's block.

Now, that's no excuse, Nicholas. I mean, there are ways to become unblocked. You

have to utilize your imagination.

Concentrate on what you saw at the office and on your writing.

and what you've learned about writing, trying to write about a writer.

Now, you do this for a while, give your mind a rest, and all of a sudden, things

will clear up.

Okay, but I sure did think it'd be a lot easier if you were a fireman.

Oh, well, I don't know about that.

In the meantime, I'm going to leave you alone with your thoughts, and I promise

you, nobody's going to bother you, okay?

Dad. Oh, David.

Hi.

Is Tommy around? I brought him his wages for the two days he worked. No, no,

he's found himself another job.

Well, uh, will you give this to him, then?

Oh, yeah, sure. Of course I will.

Look, Dad, I'm sorry about what happened with Tommy. I tried to be fair. He just

couldn't cut it.

Yeah, well, he said that you didn't give him much of a chance.

I told you I wasn't going to hold his hand.

Is it my fault that he couldn't get along in the job?

No, of course not, but you could have made it a little easier for him to try.

That's what every man on the crew was waiting for, for the boss to treat his

little brother like a prince.

So you overcompensated. You leaned over backwards to prove that you weren't

showing any favoritism, and all the while, Tommy was getting more than he

bargained for.

He also expected me to fight his battles for him. Oh, come on. Is that too much

to expect from your own brother? From his boss, yes. Dad, I have ten men to

think about. I can't lose them or their respect.

You see, you're so worried about losing the respect of those ten men, and in the

meantime, you're losing the respect of your own brother.

Excuse me.

Oh, hi.

This may sound stupid, but I just wanted to meet somebody who I wanted to meet.

Oh.

I guess you just look like someone I'd like to meet.

Look, is this some sort of sorority initiation?

No. I was just trying to be assertive.

Really?

Why don't you sit down?

Thanks.

This has never happened to me before.

I mean, a girl coming over and... It's my first time, too.

Really?

You know, you look pretty familiar.

Have we met before?

I don't think so.

No, I recognize your face from somewhere.

Wait a minute.

Were you at a frat party the other night?

Uh, you mean the Bowser Bacchanal? Yeah.

Yeah, I was there, but I don't remember much.

I was the guy who was passed out on the floor, right next to the empty keg. That

was you? Yeah. I think I tripped over your head. That was you?

Maybe that's why my head still hurts.

Uh, so are you in that frat?

Uh, no.

I really haven't made up my mind. I was kind of thinking of joining Delta Lambda

Chi.

Oh. Are you in the house?

No, I was thinking about joining him, but I don't know. Look, don't let the

Bowser back and I'll give you the wrong idea.

It really doesn't happen that often.

Still a pretty decent way to meet people, though.

Yeah, I guess so.

I mean, it's where we first got together, so to speak.

By the way, my name's Jack. Jack Binder?

Elizabeth Bradford.

Nice to know you, Elizabeth.

Same here.

Hi. Hi.

I know it's impossible to drag you away from your work, but I thought it would

be nice if we had dinner together.

Sure.

Very subtle.

Why, David, I do not know what you're talking about. Oh, sure you don't. You

just happened to get our dinner at Cluck and Chuck.

Well, I was trying to be economical. I mean, with Tommy working there, we did

get the 20 % family discount.

Does he look miserable?

I really didn't see him. Ernie said he was hiding in the back room.

I'll be back.

How's the food here?

I wouldn't know. I only see it after it's been eaten.

Tell me I didn't come here because I was hungry.

No. I guess you're a little smarter than I thought.

I came here to admit that I made a mistake.

Well, that doesn't do much good now.

Maybe not, but I wanted you to know where I stood.

As I recall, that was pretty far away.

Listen, coming between you and Gene would have done more harm than good.

If you don't want to get hassled by those guys, you've got to get their

And if I had intervened, you never would have.

Now, what was I supposed to do with those guys?

Stand up for yourself.

Show them that they can't push you around.

Not because you're the boss's brother, but because you're not afraid of them.

Look, I went down there to work. I didn't go down there to put up with

jerks' games.

Well, part of work is learning how to handle those games.

Listen, Tommy, I know you need money.

And I know I could have given you more help than I did.

What I'm saying is...

I think you should come back and give it another try.

So, how's dorm life?

It's okay.

The real downer about living in the dorms is the food.

That bad, huh? You know why most freshmen drop out?

It's not the workload. It's the meal plan.

Well, listen, if you need a home -cooked meal, you know who to call.

Really? Mm -hmm.

Can I call even if I don't want a home -cooked meal?

Sure.

Elizabeth, thanks for being so assertive.

Thank you for being such a nice guy.

You think this was nice? Wait till you see me on a date. I'm downright

You better be.

I don't suppose you've seen my tool belt?

Oh, what does it look like?

Hey, don't try to be funny, pal.

I'm just trying to help.

Yeah, well, if you see it, let me know.

Oh!

Could that be your tool belt?

Is that your idea of a joke?

No, I just thought I'd give you a taste of your own medicine and see how you

like them.

Well, we don't like it much, pal.

Now, why don't you do yourself a favor and climb up there and get it before

What? Huh?

You want to see what I'm made of? Come on, one at a time.

Oh, boy, look at this.

Little brother's a tough customer these days.

You first.

Don't you think they're a little out of your league?

Maybe. Maybe I'll end up in the hospital, but at least I'll get in a few

before I go.

I'm through putting up with you guys.

Okay, you've made your point.

We're here to do a job, not fight.

It's fine with me.

Now, what do you say we get to work?

P -E -L -A -G -E.

Ta -da!

Pellage? It's a fur coat of an animal. Sure it is. Look it up. She's bluffing.

See everybody later.

Oh, you're going out with Jack again?

Another frat party?

Oh, no, Mary. Something much more worthwhile.

We're going to an SST disco fundraiser. You should go.

Herb Dubin will be there.

Maybe another time, Elizabeth.

Okay. Bye -bye. Goodbye.

Uh -oh.

Pellage. The furry, hairy coat of an animal.

And don't forget, G is a triple letter score. Nicholas,

oh, you never told us how your speech went.

Better than I thought it would.

See, I told you. See, I was kind of scared at first that the kids in the

classroom would think that your job was nothing special, but after I heard their

speeches, I knew not to worry.

Why? Because their dad's jobs are just as boring as yours is.

Ha ha.