All language subtitles for Toxic.Tutu.2017.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

- This toxic refinery
will never get big.

They say this site
is cursed by demons.

Can you believe that?

Everything has been cursed

from this site by
the Toxic Avenger.

- In the beginning,
it was just Mitch and Mark,

completely exposed to
all that toxic waste.

- In 1984,
Troma Entertainment

did the unthinkable.

Lloyd Kaufman peed into the
marshlands of New Jersey,

and the Toxic Avenger was born.

This gave rise to the
legendary, if not mythic,

Melvin the Mop Boy, Mark Torgl,

who came into contact

with contaminants
that transformed him

into a superhuman hero.

At the peak of the success
of the cult classic movie,

the Mop Boy disappeared.

30 years later,
he made this call.

- Call
from Torgl, Mark.

- Joe.

It's Torgl.

I know you weren't
expecting to hear from me,

maybe ever again,

but I have something
I need to tell you.

It's something I need
to tell a lot of people.

Can you call me?

- Mark!

- Oh my God.

- I was on that set.

- It's like somebody knew

something was about to happen.

- Where have you been?

- It's a long story.

- Jeez,
Mark, are you okay?

- Yeah, sort of.

I need your help.

- For what?
- I was invited

to a horror convention
in this house,

called the Mad Monster Party.

- A horror convention?
- Organizers tracked me down,

asked if I would appear

as their celebrity
guest for a weekend.

- Mark, why would
you call me about this?

- You're the
only one I can trust.

- Are you in
some kind of trouble?

- It may be the only
chance I get to explain

what really happened--
- Huh?

- ...On the set
of The Toxic Avenger.

- On set,
what do you mean?

- I want you to be
there to videotape everything.

Something I didn't understand
was happening to me.

- What?
- I needed to be somewhere

alone to figure this out.

- For 30 years?

Mark, what's this have to
do with The Toxic Avenger?

- Joe, I
can't go into it now,

but I have something very
important to tell my fans,

and I want you to be
there when I tell them.

- Mark--
- Please, just be there.

Melvin's entire life,

in fact, entire being,

was changed by toxic
chemical waste.

- There's been
whispers that he's coming out.

- I mean, no one's seen
this guy for, like, forever!

I'm on the hunt.

I'm on the hunt for Melvin.

- I heard this
guy was fucking dead!

- He's always got that
shit-eating grin on his face.

- He's stressing me,
truly, he is stressing me!

- I'd really like to get
my hands on that tutu.

- I remember those days.

- The Mop Boy.

- I always thought
that he was, like,

hideously scarred from it.

- God knows what Lloyd
Kaufman did to him.

- Well, we've seen
the documentaries

about how Troma has
made their movies,

but I've never gotten to see
how Toxic Avenger was made.

- Mark Torgl helped me
overcome all my fears.

- Probably would've
ended up being

our generation's Hamlet.

- And he was an
inspiration to me.

- But, the fool
kept talking about,

"The Toxic Avenger is here.

"The Toxic Avenger is here."

- Melvin the Mop Boy.
- Did you get that?

- I just ran into the guy
who did The Toxic Avenger!

- You look great.

- Melvin the Mop
Boy changed my life.

- Melvin's here, dude.

- It's almost like that
Holy Grail kinda thing.

- There was a lot of
that Melvin inside me.

- He was sorta, like, my hero
when I was in high school.

- That, like, totally
became this Toxic Avenger.

- We need you, Melvin.

We need you.

- You were a big part
of my growing up.

- Well, good.
- I probably watched

Toxic Avenger about
a million times.

- That's how you
became the bad guy.

- Probably.

- The Toxic Avenger,

it's the only movie
that has a young boy's

head being squashed by the
wheel of an automobile,

that was then made
into a children's

environmentally-correct
television cartoon show.

Convention News Source

is the pulse of everything dead.

- Some of the
emails I'm getting,

it's really interesting
what they think.

I mean, they equate him with
being, like, a rock star,

or even like a Kennedy,
like the new Camelot.

- Especially when you haven't
seen somebody for so long

and then, all of a sudden,
they make a resurgence,

I know on the convention set,

like here at the
Mad Monster Party,

I mean, people are gonna
go nuts when they see him.

- It's almost like
Elvis came back to life.

- Exactly.
- You know,

in the horror community.
- Unlike Elvis,

he hasn't really changed a day.

When you look at him, it's
like, wow, there's Melvin.

- Please welcome...

Mark Torgl.

- You'll have the
fans out here, man!

We still love you!

We'll support you forever!

- Unexpected
appearance of Mark Torgl

from Toxic Avenger.

- He's gonna be making some
big announcement or something.

I'm really excited.

Like, he's Melvin Junko,
Melvin fucking Junko.

- I defy you, in the
history of cinema, to

identify a funnier scene,

and he made it happen.

Mark Torgl made it happen.

How did you get that
part, Mark Torgl?

- If you remember,

I was going to NYU film
school at the time,

and you guys put up a notice
on our job board, saying,

"Come and work on a real film.

"We won't pay you like
you would on a real film,

"but you'll get
great experience,"

so I came down.

Lloyd, I interviewed with
you and Michael Herz,

and you said, "Okay,
you go to NYU.

"What do you wanna
do on this film?"

And I said, "Well,

"I'd like to be the
script supervisor,

"'cause I get to work
with the director,"

and Lloyd was like, "Yes, done.

What else do you wanna
do on this film?"

I said, "Well, I enjoy writing."

"Great, you can write
some additional scenes.

"What else do you wanna do?"

And I was like...

I should have said,
"Oh, can I direct?"

- Hi, I'm Cheyenne.

I heard that there's
this urban rumor

that is going around that
some actual toxic waste

was used on The Toxic Avenger?

Is that true?

- I'm not sure
I can answer that properly,

because it's...

I don't know
what else I can tell you.

- Toxic waste on set?

I mean, what is
this, I mean come on.

- Maybe he has some problems

with his health that he
doesn't wanna reveal.

- Lloyd Kaufman
hasn't talked, much,

about what happened
to Mark Torgl, but

something happened.

- He can't tell us.

There's a reason
he can't tell us.

- There's a danger

involved

in the glory.

- Hm.

Glory of celebrity?

- Not the glory of celebrity.

- People ask, why has
Troma been able to prosper,

or at least survive, as an
independent movie studio

for 40 years, making
movies that nobody sees.

How is that possible?

The secret weapon
we have is our fans.

Our fans are incredibly loyal.

- Thank you very much.

I can't believe this is
your first convention.

- Yeah.
- What got you out to a

convention?
- They really

sold it to me.

- Was Lloyd Kaufman

as crazy and manic and...

- Oh, yeah.
- Stuff as he seems

in the most recent
film documentaries?

- Oh, yeah, he never changes.

- One, two, three.

- There's nothing about toxic
substances in this book.

Gangs of New Dork.

Why hasn't Mark done a
convention with Lloyd

after all these years?

He'd have a blast
doing this stuff.

- Will
the convention world

deal its blows to
the infamous Mop Boy?

- It was Lloyd Kaufman.

I was afraid of him.

He was...

I mean, I'd never
made a movie before,

and when he said close up,

I didn't know you
weren't supposed to move.

Is anything the matter?

But the lunches were nice

if you could eat at
the Jersey city dump.

I felt sorry for that
young production assistant

who had the thankless
job of bringing that

smelly stuff from New Jersey.

Her name was Nicki or
Mikki or something.

- That can't be her.
- You know, I remember,

she said she climbed through
some barbed wire fence

to get to the river that was

off-limits because that
water was so disgusting.

- This girl was in
the airport with Mark.

- Do I know you?

- What?
- You look familiar.

- No, I don't think you know me.

- You know, some years later,

that same area in New Jersey

became a remediation
site for toxic chemicals.

- This is a
production still.

How could she be in this?

- Shh!

- This photo
is over 30 years old.

It actually is her.

- Just when you contacted me

to do this interview...

- Get him, get him!

- Slug told me Bozo just
called him out of the blue.

- Hm,
Slug was supposed to

meet Mark at the convention.

Do you have idea why
he never showed up?

- Slug was upset
about something.

I could tell in his voice.

- Mark told me
Slug had something to give him.

- He didn't tell me what it was.

All I know is

Slug told me

Bozo had anger issues.

- Next time you fuck with me,

I'm gonna take this mop and
shove it down your throat!

He's stressin' me, Julie,
he is stressin' me!

- Stupid me, like,

swallowed a huge
amount of this stuff.

I don't know, you know.

I don't know where they got it,

but

I swallowed it.

I came out choking,

thought I was gonna die.

- I heard Mark's back.

That's interesting.

He disappears for 30 years,

and now, out of the blue,

he's making convention
appearances?

- Oh, fuck!

- Get outta here, ya pervert!

- It's a setup.

- I had, like, excuse me, hey.

You know, I just
wanna come say hello

to Mark and all of them.

Just a huge fan,
he was so gracious

and all this other stuff, man.

I really wanted to
give him this book,

but I want to send it to
him so I have his address.

Appreciate that.

Thanks for comin'

- Yeah, yeah.

I grew up in New Jersey,
in Bergen County,

and I went to school

at what we called
Tromaville High School,

which was really

Northern Valley Regional
High School of Old Tappan,

and Sarabel Levinson,
Toxic's mom,

was my

teacher.

So, I'm not kiddin' around, man.

I wrote...

- Wow!

- Oh Sarabel Levinson
and Other Toxic Love Poems.

- Did you have, like,
a love affair with her?

- A love affair?
- Yeah.

- Is it
true that she has...

- Sorry.

- ...One of the
original tutus from the set?

I've heard that somewhere.

Just meeting Mark
before was amazing.

Toxic!

Woo!

- I was never able to
find that original tutu,

which meant a lot to me.

In fact, it was one
of the only things

that gave me the comfort

of feeling connected.

The tutu actually became
part of my identity,

and then, suddenly,
it went missing.

- We have,
like, releases to sign,

if you're into it.

I don't know if you
would be, but...

And then, we could
stay in touch with you

and tell you, like,
what's happening--

- So...
- If you wanna know

when things are--
- My name, Ginger Lafferty,

will be in this
production you're doing?

- Yeah.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Yeah, of course.

I mean, we'd be
happy to do that.

It's the least we could do
if you let us, you know,

put this information
in our film.

- I mean, it'll be

in this documentary
you're doing for Mark.

It'll be in the same...

- Yeah.

I mean, we're cool with
that, if you are, I mean.

- Mark
Torgl, Melvin the Mop Boy

from The Toxic Avenger...

- Yeah.

- You look really upset.
- Thank you.

No, I'm happy.

- Okay.
- I'm very happy.

- ...Will be signing
photos for the first time.

- I took my grandson, Jonny,

who loves the movie

to a monster
convention in Florida.

- Hey, Grandma, are you okay?

Hey, it's Jonny.

- Never been to one before.

There I am, telling
him how famous I am,

and how the people
who made the movie

would be so delighted to see me.

- Grandma Fairplay, you okay?

- But, no,

didn't happen that way.

They couldn't have cared less.

- Jonny.

Jonny Fairplay.

- I am Jonny Fairplay.

- I heard
you know Mark Torgl.

- See ya, Angel.

- Mark Torgl, sure,
yeah, I know him.

- So, you're friends.

- He's, like, my
best friend, yeah.

- I have an offer for you.

- An offer?
- Let's talk.

- I love offers, hmm.

- I worked with Lloyd on
Return to Nuke 'Em High,

volumes one and two,

and you know, he's like your

psychotic grandfather
on dopamine.

Yeah, 'cause he's driven

and scary, at times,

very scary,

and quite the storyteller.

You never know what's
real and what's fiction.

One thing I heard, you know, as

you are immersed in the
cloak and dagger politics

in the Troma office--

- Look at this,
look at these balls!

- Okay, quiet, quiet!

- You start to hear
crazier things,

and one thing I heard was that,

on the set of the
original Toxic Avenger,

guy who supplied
the toxic waste,

apparently, he'd show up
with his two daughters and

he'd have the older one

drink this substance,

and

he'd kinda say, "All
right," you know,

"Show 'em what you got."

- Jonny.

I will get what I need.

- Who is this woman?

Does Mark know her?

- It's Jonny.

- Are we ready, Jonny?

- Hey, I just wanted to
let you know I'm here and

just settling in.

- You'll do your very best
for me, won't you, Jonny?

- No, you have my
full attention.

- Once you have the
jar in your hands,

you'll call me, okay?

- Hey, are you sure
this Mecca girl's gonna show up?

- Where're you going?

- Shh!

- She'll be there, I promise.

Just turn on the charm.

- Let's see if
Jonny comes through.

I gotta go.

- Mark was lucky enough
to land the role of Melvin

in the original Toxic Avenger.

- I saw him

as an underdog,

very socially awkward,

nerdy,

kid that, you know,
was happy-go-lucky,

but got picked on and bullied.

- They always made jokes

about conditions on the set.

Girls with big tits.

I was kind of embarrassed.

I never told anybody this,

but I lost my virginity on set.

You did?

- Slug got one of the

PAs to do it with me.

- Wooey!

- Hey, Mark Torgl,
it's Jonny Fairplay!

- Jonny, I remember you.

- Catch up on old times.

- See you, I got a
line of people here.

- Anyway--
- Good to see ya.

I'd like to see 'em lose it.

- Okay, all right, cool.

Well, I'll just be around.

- Yeah, see ya later.

- Hi, Mark.
- Hi there.

- It's a pleasure to meet you.

- Would you like a picture--
- You don't know me,

but I don't know if
you remember Mikki?

- Mikki?

- Anyway, she left
something for you,

and it's really important

and I need to give it to you.

- All right.

What is it?
- So...

Well, it needs to be in private.

- Oh.
- So if you can

meet me in my room later?

- Meet you in your room?

- It's room 1102.

Will you meet me?
- 1102?

- 1102, thank you.
- I'll be there.

1102?

- Thanks.

- Hey.

Yeah.

Gotta go.

Hey.

Mecca?

You're friends with Mikki?

- Yeah.

- I knew Mikki.

- Oh.

- She's a really cool chick.

- Uh-huh.
- Like,

we hung out here last year.

- Yeah.

That's cool.

- Wanna chat?

- Sure, come on,
let's talk about it.

- Nice room.

- Thanks.

- You have anything to drink?

- Beer?

- Love one.

Thanks.

- You're welcome.

- So...

Yeah, I was here...

Last year, with Mikki,

and it was a pretty fun time.

I mean, you know, we were
hanging out with Mark, you know?

I mean, like,

what happened?

- No one really knows
what happened to her.

When they found
her, it was just...

- I can make things better.

I mean, Mikki and I were...

Friends.

You wanna be friends?

Me and Mikki, we had
a lot of fun here.

A lot of fun.

- I'm really
uncomfortable right now.

- Mikki wasn't.

- Look, I have to tell you,

Mikki and I were lovers.

Yeah.

- That's really too bad.

Yeah.

I think you like that.

I think you like that a lot.

Yeah, yeah.

You're into that, aren't you?

Why don't you join Mikki?

Join Mikki.

Finally.

- Mecca?

Are you in there?

- Oh
my God, it's Melvin!

- No, not you guys again!
- I love you!

- I need to be moved
to another room,

on a different floor.

- Mark Torgl.

You know, the star
of The Toxic Avenger,

was asked some weird
questions today.

- I have, you
know, spent my life

being known for being
a Toxic Avenger star.

- Yeah, except where was he?

- One was regarding

the toxic waste
that was on the set.

- What's all this
about toxic waste?

- All I know is

I wanna get my hands on some.

- You'd love to get your
hands on a lot of things.

- Well, that just made
me a little wetter.

- I'll make you wetter!

♪ Toxic substance

♪ This is so magical

- With Melvin, anything
could happen at any moment.

That excites me.

- May I say hello?

I'm Ginger.

What do you have here?

- Whoa, whoa.

No, no, no.

No!
- What is he doing?

- You can share a little bit.

- Hey, no, no, no, no!

That's not--
- Just let it be shared.

- That's not really for...

You don't want...

No, that's mine, I need that.

You don't...

- Woo!

- It's gone.

The jar is gone!

She told me that the toxic waste

is spreading into the
rivers of New Jersey

and that we have to do something

before it contaminates
the water supply.

What is this stuff?

- The fuck?

- Do you know, Mark?

Do you know?

- My name's Mikki.

Nice to meet you.

- Someone is trying to kill me.

Call from Torgl, Mark.

I've been livin' a lie.

If people found out

about this stuff,

our world as we know it
would cease to exist.

- You got people sorta,
like, freaked out here.

- And that's why
I've been hiding.

Joe, you're my best friend,

and I've been meaning
to tell you this

for a really long
time, and I haven't,

and I wanna show you something.

- I heard rumors that
something from that toxic waste

is thick with him.

- But the camera can't see it,

so take the camera away.

- No, I think--
- Yeah, Joe,

take the camera away.

- Wait a minute!

Look who's in the back.

It's Mark Torgl,
ladies and gentlemen!

Little Melvin,
original Toxic Avenger!

Come on up, Mark.

What a surprise, who knew?

- Mark?

- Sorry, Joe.
- Mark, what is going on?

- That's what's going on.
- What is that, Mark?

Mark what are you drinking?

- I'm sorry.

- Well hey, this is big.

This is big, it's the first
time it's even happened.

Mark will be at the
booth tomorrow, signing.

- He's got fans who
want his autograph.

- I was so excited.

Mark Torgl was coming,
they put up the posters.

- Ask if you would sign my body.

- There you go.

- I like that.

Melvin lives, dude!

Fuckin' Melvin lives, he's back!

- To me, it was like
another Spiderman story.

You know how Spiderman
came from nothing,

became this dude--
- Yeah.

- You know, Melvin--
- Basically.

- Came from nothing,
became The Toxic Avenger.

- And people are
lining up, over here,

to see Mark Torgl, and--
- Lloyd!

Lloyd!

- Yay, it's Mark Torgl!

Mark Torgl, everybody!
- The dark era of him not

appearing in person is over.

He's obviously here to stay now,

and I think it's fantastic.

- Bystanders think, you
know, stuff happens.

They think it's, like, an event.

I felt like that was happening.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

great news at the Troma booth.

- We were just kinda
lookin' from afar,

and it was just
causing this commotion.

It was just this

toxic thing, you could even say.

- Mark Torgl, the original
Melvin from The Toxic Avenger.

- You have the original Toxie,

ready to meet everyone,

with the creator
right next to him.

This is like a reunion.

- Thank you, Lloyd.

It's been 30 years.

I have something so important
that I need to tell you.

That--
- We know who you are!

- No, wait, wait.
- You need to come with us!

- No, wait!

Wait, why...
- Turn the camera off!

Turn the camera off!

- One minute, we're
sittin' there,

watching this thing go down,

and we're thinkin', "Oh, okay,

"it's just a big gag,
you know, ha ha ha,"

and then it turns out
to be frickin' real.

- Just the idea of somebody

taking someone so famous or...

Or so, so close to you.

- We've learned that Mark Torgl,

the star of The Toxic Avenger,

has been abducted
from a convention.

- We want Mark!

We want Mark!

- Where
are you taking me?

What're you gonna do with me?

- Get in and shut up.

- Everyone loves
superhero movies,

and you know, Toxic
Avenger's about a regular,

you know, skinny guy
who becomes a superhero,

and that's what people like.

- There's really nothing
to compare it to,

I mean, not since the
Lindbergh baby, really,

has a kidnapping story
captured the nation's

imagination like this one.

- It's become like a
movement with people,

and it's snowballing and

it's just rolling--
- It strikes a chord,

that film.

It is a, you know,

a maniacally farcical
vision of America.

- Everyone's talking about it.

I mean, there's people out there

that I think have just
discovered Mark, you know,

because of this
happening to him.

You know, that may not
have known about him.

- I see you're
taking direct action.

- Yes.

- Joe, have you heard from Mark?

- They said it's looking shaky.

- Can I ask you something?

- Yeah, what?

- I know you knew
Mark for a long time.

Who's trying to get this stuff?

- Carrie, I don't know
anything about this stuff.

I can't even believe
you asked me that.

- Here he comes!

- There are rumors
spreading through Tinseltown

that the toxic wastes used on
the set of The Toxic Avenger

were real and
contained contaminants.

- That was not toxic waste.

That was the lunch
served to the crew.

- So, you're saying
they're not rumors.

- Now, leave me alone!

- Do you know where the
toxic waste came from?

- People are asking
why you didn't

mobilize fans to help Mark.

- Mr. Kaufman.

There's at least one
death in connection

with Mark's rescue.
- It's the death of my career.

- Mr. Kaufman,

we understand that you're
finally being considered

for a Lifetime
Achievement Award.

If you're nominated,
will you accept?

- Now, get me to my car.

Come on, ladies, come on--

- So, Mark and I knew each for,

you know, quite a few years.

I shot his films at NYU, and

there were a couple of
movies that were very dark,

very cerebral.

You know, I often wondered

what was going on, in his head,

and this was around
the time that he,

you know, took this
work with Troma

and was working on
The Toxic Avenger.

- I found

a prop girl

after The Toxic Avenger was done

and I was like, "What was that

"that you guys used?"

And she said, "I'm really
embarrassed to tell you.

"It was just something we found

"in a rotting can

"in Bayonne, by the waste site."

It was really waste.

I hope it wasn't toxic,

but it was perfect
for what we needed.

We were kinda drugged.

It's almost like
something that I crave,

and she said,

"Well,

"that's weird,

"but, if you want it,

"I know where to get it."

It's you!

- You can tell me, can't you?

Tell me what's in that drink.

- Why do you want this so bad?

- If you tell me
what's in this drink,

I can make you a very happy man.

- I don't know what
you're talking about.

- Tell me what's in this drink!

- I don't know
what's in the drink.

- Everything all right?

- Yes.
- No, it's not.

Let me outta here.

- Then, what's the
significance of this?

- Oh, my magic tutu.

If you put it on,
you could float away.

- Don't play games with me.

I'll deal with you later.

- Okay, folks.

So, you can see the
crowd is gathering.

Tutu Solidarity Movement
has just launched.

- We interviewed Slug for
the Toxic Avenger Blu-ray.

He told me that there was
some sort of animosity

between the two sisters, that

the younger one grew up
resenting the older one

for allowing the father
to have done all this.

Lloyd got quite a few
laughs out of that,

but he got a little
nervous when Mark said

there was something he
wanted to tell his fans.

I wonder if Mark
knows about all this.

It wouldn't surprise me

if his abduction was linked
to those two sisters.

- You abducted Melvin?

- Yes, I did.

- And the toxic substance?

- I don't know yet.

- That shit is dangerous.

- Have you tried it yet?

- It's toxic waste that
daddy dredged from a river

and took to some set
of a horror movie--

- Some horror movie?

The Toxic Avenger isn't
some horror movie,

it's a cult classic film!

I've waited all
my life for this,

and I'm not gonna let
you stand between me

and a fucking gold mine.

- That shit killed daddy.

- Yeah, but it gave me orgasms.

But then, what would you know
about orgasms, little sister?

- You're the reason
he drank this stuff!

- Yeah, but it made
his member swell,

and he let me
drink all I wanted,

because he knew it
made my pussy throb!

That was invigorating, huh sis?

- You're a slut.

- Yeah.

First come, first served.

Aren't you glad Melvin is
back after all these years?

- Get out of here.

- Sure, little sister.

- Get out of here!

- This isn't the last of me.

- Row, dance!
- Honey?

- Do you think

you can remember that?
- Sweet heart!

Daddy's back.
- Let's rap, Picasso.

- Little girlie!

There's something
new I wanna show you.

It's about time you
graduated to the real McCoy,

learn something in life
that can actually help you.

'Cause I don't want you to
end up like your mama did.

Are you listenin' to me?

Huh, are you listening?

Are you listenin', are
you listenin' to me?

Huh?

That stuff's no good for you.

They're brainwashing you!

They're ruining your mind.

Hey.

I'm gonna change this DVD.

You watching this stuff.

Too old for that other stuff.

This is what you need.

This is what you outta watch.

This is gonna help you.

- Oops!

Oops.

Sorry.

- Mark.

We want you back, man.

We need you.

- I'm taking up
for the little man,

just as he took up
for the little man.

He got up there with his mop

and just cleaned up.

- We came all this way
just to see Mark Torgl.

- And the Toxic Avenger--
- This is like

the first appearance
he's ever made.

- My favorite part of the film

is where he just
changes his voice.

He's just this wimpy guy.

- I can't let you in here!
- Jonny, come on!

- Open up!

- Jonny Fairplay was

holed up up here, and...

You know, supposedly he
killed his grandmother.

- Why'd you kill her?

- He beat up on
Mecca, my friend,

and, basically, I've came
down here to see if he knows

what's the connection
with this toxic substance.

- No, no, no, no, no!

I need that!

They can't take that!

They can't take that!

I need that!

I need that!
- Okay, stop it!

- I need that!

- Just get in there,
it'll be all right.

- And to have a
few words with him.

There's something
in this toxic waste.

We don't know what
it is, do you?

- I'm not sayin' anything.

- You really messed up, Jonny.

This ain't no reality TV show.

- What's gonna happen to me?

- Conditionally,

seeing as the murder

of your grandma
wasn't intentional--

- What do you mean, murder?

I mean, I didn't
murder my grandma.

I fuckin' tried to save her!

- So, to get you off the hook,

I'm gonna arrange some
local community service.

- I'm not doing
community service.

- You ever feel 500 volts

running across your
nervous system?

Your tongue swells
up like a balloon.

You start to burn, real hot,

and then your dick
gets hard and explodes!

- What kind of
community service?

- Any time

that you use this

in a match,

what we are all doing

is honoring

the great Jake "The
Snake" Roberts.

- She didn't know
what she was doing.

- Who are
you talking about?

- Mikki, my little honey
bee, Mikki, the PA.

- You knew her?

- She was bringin' in
vats of toxic waste.

They weren't making that
stuff in the Prop Department.

This was real toxic waste!

It looked great in the
movie, and Mark knew it!

He didn't stay away.

He was playin' with
real toxic waste.

- Wait a minute, Slug.

Are you sure this
is the same girl?

- Could you
help us find someone?

- Who
are you looking for?

- His name is Mark Torgl.

He was abducted
from the convention.

- Hm--
- He isn't dead, is he?

- Shut up, Eve.

- Oh my God.

- These women with
big tits are coming

in and out of this place
all day long.

That doesn't bother me at all.

- Harvey, we can't
give Relativity

the rights to The
Toxic Avenger remake,

because Relativity is bankrupt!

Joe Nardelli, who let you in?

- Hey, Lloyd.

Mark didn't want me to
bring you into this, but

he told me there was something
up with the toxic substance

on the set of The Toxic Avenger.

Do you know anything about that?

- Harvey, hold on, I'm sorry.

What do you want?

What is it?

- Did you ever drink it?

- What are you talkin'
about, it was 30 years ago.

- Come on, Lloyd, you're
not leveling with me.

I mean--
- All right.

That's it, that's it.

Julio, can you show Mr.
Nardelli the door, please?

- Out.
- Hey, no, no!

Lloyd!

You know something--
- And make some,

like, peanut butter and
Nardelli out of him,

if you don't mind.

- Out.
- No, no.

Lloyd!
- Out!

- Listen, Mark's my best friend!

I mean, this isn't something
you're trying to hide, is it?

Come on, tell me!

Lloyd!

- There was a situation
on The Toxic Avenger,

a PA who claimed

to have a source to a
toxic waste that was free.

- My tutu!

- I have to tell you something.

- She drove us out to
this marsh in New Jersey.

We fill up this
barrel, toxic waste,

and then, she tries to get
me to drink this stuff,

and she guzzles it right there,

and she goes berserk,
and she comes at me

and I'm trying to fight her off,

and I'm twice the size of her,

and I can't defend
myself against her.

- Mark Torgl!

Are you out there?

- Carrie, there's a toxic oasis.

- Can you believe
what is going on

over this toxic ooze?

- They took Mark.

They took Mark!

- No, let me get
to my car, please.

- Toxic
waste, was it--

- You're all delusional!

- Toxic waste could cure me.

- Free Mark!

Free Mark!

- Please come through for me.

- And Mark Stanz heard him say

that if he didn't get to it
first, something could happen.

- The
cult classic star

Melvin the Mop Boy...
- Some say could be dangerous.

- Something about
he got abducted

on a convention floor.

Like, who would do that?

- Are you kidding me, dog?

People will be killing
each other all over this.

- And if this toxic substance

proves to be a cure-all potion?

- That's why I come here,

'cause, like, New Yorkers
already found this stuff.

- I hear you got
this toxic substance?

Will it increase my sperm count?

- Yeah, in Russia
are a lot of fans

who are supporting
Melvin's rescue.

- So, there is a global concern.

- Where's Mark?
- We're gonna find you, Mark!

- Gather around, please!

I heard Mark talking
about a toxic oasis.

- For we're being told
that this substance

is spreading in
local communities.

Is that actually happening, Tom?

- Gotta scratch your head.

Why would anyone want this stuff

if people are dying from it?

- This brigade is
forming everywhere.

Some people are
like mercenaries.

- Hope you had a nice
time with your fans.

- Who are you?

- Oh, you don't need
to worry about that.

- What are you doing?

- Now, it's time to go
visit little sister.

- What are you doing?

- Listen to this.

- Hey, that's
my drink, I need that!

- Good time, my little precious.

In good time.
- Give me my drink.

- Why don't you stand up?

- I need my drink.

- We're gonna do just fine.
- Where are you taking me?

- Don't worry about it,
just be a good sport.

- You have
my mop, my mop!

- Fine,
you can have your mop.

Come on, little precious.
- Where are you taking me?

- This is it?

- I appreciate that you
made the arrangements,

with the Snake, to take
care of Jonny for me.

- Wow.

Life...

Can be a nightmare,

but for some darn reason,

we're all obsessed...

With prolonging it.

- When I heard about
Mark being kidnapped,

I knew I had to be a part of it.

- You know, I swallowed
a bunch of that stuff.

Am I gonna be okay?

And they were just kind
of like, "Hope so."

I was like, "Well, what is it?"

They were like,

"Well, it's something...

"We put together.

"I don't think it's anything
to be concerned about."

They didn't seem
to have an answer,

and then I kind of
forgot about it,

but I knew I had that
taste in my mouth.

What are you doing to me?

- Oh boy!

Ready for a dose
of sibling rivalry?

- No.

- Nobody
knows you're here.

Take a step up.

- Where am I?

Get away.

What am I here for?

- If your mopping was half
as good as your whining,

you wouldn't be in this mess!

Tutu go bye-bye!

- Why am I here?
- Whine, whine, whine!

- I wanna know.

I wanna know what's goin' on.

Tell me what's goin' on.

Tell me.

Tell me, tell me, tell me,
tell me, tell me, tell me--

- Shut up!

- Who are you?

And where's my ooze?

- This is who I am.

- I don't even know you.

Why am I here, what did I do?

- You're here because
you ruined my childhood.

- I don't even know you.

I don't know you!

- This is my
father's death veil.

Now it's yours.

- I don't like that.

What are you doing with that?

What're you gonna do with that?

- What's in this?

- I don't know what's in that.

- Where did you get it?

- I had a barrel of it,

but that's all that's left.

I don't have a source.

- When I find the source,
I'm gonna destroy it.

- Give it to me.

Let me have a drink.

- Gonna
end all the pain

and suffering that it causes.

- No.

Let me have a sip, please.

- No.
- Little sip?

- No.

- Please?
- No.

- What are you gonna do with it?

- I'm gonna destroy it.
- No!

- Why is it so important to you?

- It just is.

It just is, I need it.

I need it.

I need--
- Daddy was addicted, too.

- He was?

- He seemed to have
an endless supply.

- Where'd he get it?

- What do you
mean, where'd he get it?

It was your source, your set.

- The movie.

The Toxic Avenger,
yes, you're right.

- It smells disgusting.

- Can I have a sip, please?

A little sip?

- You want some?

- Thank you.

Thank you so much.

I really appreciate it.

- Melvin?

Dorky little Melvin.

Do you know how many nights
my father sat watching you?

Screaming, "Julie,
Julie, Julie!"

You and that
lice-infested sheep?

- You're mean.

- You want this stuff?

- I need it.

I told you, I need it.

Where are you going with that?

- This killed my father.

- No, but I've heard, though,

that some of the
toxic waste survived.

You know, I would
think, you know,

Lloyd Kaufman, who directed
the film, might have some of it

and maybe, you know, he thought

that he was gonna
turn his grandma

into a Toxic Avenger.

- I don't see why
you'd even wanna

turn your grandmother
into Toxic--

- If you would just
let me explain...

I know you guys
have heard rumors

about what happened
to my grandmother.

Listen, it's not what you think!

Or the Toxic Avenger?

He drank it!

There's something
different about him.

He knows all about this!

- That was in a
river in New Jersey.

- Hey!

Who the hell do you
fit in with here, huh?

- Listen...
- Hard of hearing?

Oh, I can fix that.

- Hell, yeah!

- Oof!

- Sorry, Jonny.

You got exactly
what you deserved.

- Oh, Jonny, Jonny, Jonny.

Sometimes karma
bites one in the ass.

- Oh no.

- No.

- Kick his ass!

- No.

Sorry, Jonny.

- No!

No, no, no!

- So, which one of you is Doe?

- Who are you?

- Hey!

- I'm really sorry,

but it looks like you guys'll
be on your own tonight.

- Are you guys
the Tutu Brigade?

- Yes!
- We sure are.

- Nice.
- Okay, one more person!

- Hey!
- Yoohoo!

- Where you from?

- I'm from over there.

Where are you guys from?

- From Paris.

- New Orleans.
- Nice.

Well, what you got in there?

- Hm.

This is for you.

Do you want these?

- What is that?
- What is it?

- It's an IVE,

an inter-vaginal explosive.

They come in so handy.

- Yeah.

- Yay.

- Yeah!

Yeah!

- Where you going?

- My work here is done.

- Done?

- You're not coming with us?

- No,

but I will see you
guys in Charlotte.

- All right.

- Okay.
- Bye, good luck.

- Thanks.
- Bye.

- So, what are we gonna do?

We don't have a plan.

- Well, I guess we do
what we have to do.

- We go get Melvin.

Good luck.
- Good luck.

- You know that Troma
introduced Hayao Miyazaki

to the American public
with My Neighbor Totoro,

long before you
had Spirited Away

and got the Oscar for it.

Yes, Fiba?

- Lloyd?

Joe keeps calling.

- What does Joe want?

- Excuse me, gentlemen.

Think you could
maybe help me out?

I might be a little lost.

♪ You pull me down

♪ Have got a lot
to learn about me ♪

- Hi there.

- Where'd you come from?

- I could use a little help...

With these.

- Mm, baby, I think I
can help you with those.

♪ I will help you
feed your madness ♪

- Check out the
chariot back room.

- My pleasure.

- Thanks for
squeezing the pimple, Maco.

You know, whenever peanut
butter and Nardelli

gets under my skin,

things get very
pussy around Troma.

- He is a pesky git.

- Pesky?

He's a canker sore, if
you know what I mean.

- Oh, yes.

- Well, avoid
dark allies, Maco.

- I will, Mr. Kaufman.

See you tomorrow.

- Where did I put that stuff?

Where did I put that damn stuff?

No, no!

- All I get from a
childhood filled with

Melvin-this and Melvin-that is a

daddy who ended up as a
pile of shit and debris

from drinking this stuff,

and a sister who believes
that you're a part of it.

Are you?

- I'm not a
part of anything.

- Why do you want this?

- It makes me feel like me.

- Would you know the difference?

- No.

Did your daddy know
the difference?

- Hey, baby.

These look like
they're gonna be fun.

- You're in for a surprise.

- Mm.

Mm.

- Hey, please
don't do that.

When your daddy drank that, it
did something special to him.

You saw that, right?

- Come on, come on.

Come on, let's go watch
the match, come on!

Look at it, look at it!

- Spend time with me.

- There you go, come
on, you got him.

Come on!

Love you.

Hey.
- Stop it!

- That's what I want.

- Was your
daddy a good person?

- It's none of your business.

- Okay.

Did he ever let you
have a sip of that?

Listen, I never turned into a
pile of shit and debris, so...

Why don't you take a sip
of it and see what happens?

That's all that's left.

It'll be gone after that.

Take a sip, see what happens.

You might like it.

Yes.

Yeah.

There you go.

Yeah.

- Hey, guys.

I'm a little lost.

Can you give me a
little bit of help?

That way?

- Fuck yeah, man.

To protect and serve, right?

- Hey.

She was right.

- Do you not
remember me at all?

- Who's there?

- Just think.

- This is a fucking
haunted basement.

The toxic waste has
to be here somewhere.

Oh my God.

This is a director's cut
of The Toxic Avenger.

Shit!

Well, whatever.

Oh my God.

The toxic substance.

Fuck.

- Toxic waste,
it's retained my youth.

- Huh?

- I was on that set.

I was the PA that was in
charge of the toxic waste.

- What's
wrong with your face?

- What's
happening to me?

What did you do to me?

- I didn't do anything.

- What was that?

- The fuck is that?

- Who are you?

- Are you the villainess?

- What?

- Mark.

He's here, you guys.

I can't believe we found you.

- Mark!

- Oh, can you untie me?
- Let's get you untied.

- Your fans
are going to be so excited.

- Oh my God.

- Are you all right?
- Look at you!

- You guys are human?

- Yes.

- Has anyone seen my ooze?

The green bottle of ooze?
- You're what?

- Oh, the green bot...

Uh oh.

Green ooze
- Oh, oh, mm-mm.

No, that went down the...

Sorry.

- Let's get outta here.
- Okay.

- Okay.
- Oh, my mop!

- Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

- Oh, the mop, okay.
- Here we go.

- Okay.

- I wish I could
be with you in Charlotte.

- Everyone's
gonna wanna see you.

- Come on, let's go.
- Mark,

you gotta stay with us.
- Let's go.

Mark, we gotta go.

We gotta get you out of here.

You can't be here.
- Okay, okay.

- I can't believe it.

I wasn't sure if we
were gonna make it.

Come on, Mark.

Let's get you out of here.

♪ I feel intoxicated

- It started with this
abduction several days ago

at a convention, thought
to be a cosplay event.

It turns out, a toxic
substance now linked to Torgl

comes from somewhere
in New Jersey,

and is either killing
people or causing them,

and I know this is going to
sound like science fiction,

to gain unusual strength.

Authorities have confirmed this
toxic substance is linked to

unusual behaviors,
and possibly deaths

that are still
being investigated.

- If the source
is in New Jersey,

then all eyes are on us,

which could lead to
the kind of chaos

we're already seeing
reported in the south.

- Yes!

I'm so happy Mark's back!

I could kiss you.

- What
we're hearing at this
hour, and I quote,

"The scene is a bloodbath."
- Toxic substances have been

found by Hazmat officials.
- Authorities can't determine

if the substances
found are linked

to the classic film--
- Oh my God!

- Tutus found on the scene--
- Tutus found on the scene

suggest a larger network

of fans...
- There is widespread concern

that tutus found on the scene

suggest a larger network of fans

who may be organizing
for similar attacks.

- Hey.

Hey, look at what I found.

I don't know what it is.

- Where we found the body?

- Yeah.

- It had pubic hair in its teeth

and choked down his throat?

- Yeah.

This was next to it.

I don't...

- Whoa, whoa, what the
hell you got there?

- I have no clue what it is.

I found it back there.
- Where'd you get that?

- I found it lying over there.

- Man, get that
shit away from me.

You shouldn't be touching that.

Get that to the Hazmat crew.

- Hey guys, look what I found.

- Don't touch it like that!

- Where's your
gloves, you jackass?

- What's going on here?

- Well, we are in the process
of an active crime scene.

We have Hazmat crew dealing with

some type of unusual
substance, so

right now, it's just
all about containment.

- Cool.
- We got Hazmat crew,

there is a fluid
substance that...

Whoa, whoa, wait a minute.

You can't do that.

- I have to get in
somehow, don't I?

- Okay, fine.

You've got a point.

- Oh God!

What is that smell?

It smells like...

Vaginal secretions.

- So, you were walking
this morning, 7 AM?

Why would you do that?

Why would a young, very
pretty girl like you

be walking by herself
at 7 in the morning?

- Jesus.

What is this?

Hazmat!

What is this?

- Don't touch that.

You shouldn't be
touching anything.

That's why we're here.

- Where the hell
are your gloves?

- I don't know, I
left 'em in the truck, Jesus.

- Ah, you jackass.

- What are you doing
this Friday night?

Everything all right--

- We're good, we're good.

Everything's fine.

Making a little progress
with the lady, here,

so I'm good.

We're almost done here.

So, back to Friday night.

- Hey, can I get a few
questions real quick?

CNS.

- Yeah, sure.

- What are we looking at here?

- Looks like a murder.

- Yeah, okay.

What's that, right there?

- What?
- That stuff, right there?

The red stuff?

- Blood.

What do you think?

- Oh, okay.

- You were
alone, is that right?

I mean, was your
boyfriend with you?

Your husband, was
your husband with you?

Are you single?

You're single?

- Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Back off, back off!
- I'm not done

questioning the lady here.

- Can't you see she's
been traumatized?

You can ask her later.

Back off, you jackass.

- Today, a search begins
for Melvin the Mop Boy,

Mark Torgl, best known for
his role in The Toxic Avenger.

Sources say that his rescue
has caused an unusual reaction

of fan chaos in the streets,

and the search for a toxic oasis

somewhere in the
marshlands of New Jersey.

- We're reporting live from
the gruesome crime scene...

- Jogger found a
dead body in the car,

and another thing that was
found was a pink fiber.

- It's under investigation.
- People gotta know!

- It's under investigation.

We got a public
information office

that're behind the scenes--
- There's some type of

toxic goo--
- We can't say nothin'

right now--
- I think the people

in our community--
- We can't say anything.

need to know what's going
on their neighborhood.

- At the scene, we
found evidence of

some kind of toxic substance.

We're not sure what it is,

but officials have collected it

and they are running
tests to find out

what the substance could be.

So, should neighbors be worried?

- We think it's more like

an act of violence.

- CNS has learned Mark Torgl,

Melvin the Mop Boy,

is expected to--
- Shut up, will you!

This is the guy
that got abducted!

- Who is he?

- Are you kidding me?

That's the Toxic Avenger!

- What's with all the tutus?

- And just judging by the way
the fans have been here today,

waiting, yeah, I'm sure
there's an audience for it.

- There's a lot of
people here, so,

this is definitely a whole
group, it looks like,

a tutu brigade out
there, or something.

- Melvin the Mop
Boy is here today.

- I love you!
- Please make room, everybody,

for Mark Torgl!

- That 98 pound weakling?

- Yeah, that guy.

- What, dude, he's
smaller than I am!

- I know, right?

- Fandom is strong
for Troma and Melvin.

Here we go!

- Thank you, Tutu
Brigade, I love you.

You brought me to my people!

- Love you, Melvin!

- You ever come to
the Mad Monster Party?

- Where is he?

Where is he?

- People tell me stories
about how you were bullied,

and how you were
taken advantage of

and how people beat you
up and humiliated you,

and I'm here to say
today is a new day.

Today the humiliation stops!

Well, I'm saying today
ends all of that.

Today is the day that we
are together in solidarity.

Are you with me?

Today is a new day, but
I'm just passing through.

I'm not...

I am the Melvin you know, but
I'm not the Melvin you know.

I know

you think I'm Melvin,
and I am Melvin,

but I'm not really Melvin.

I mean, I am Melvin...

I didn't want to say it.

I...

- We know who you are.

- We love you, Melvin.

- Say it, man.

- What is that?

- No, no, no, no!

- Who killed my mommy?

Oh!

- Oh!

Get out of the way!

Look out, look out!

- Mm!

- Guys, wrong movie.

- We're on the first floor.

- Oh!

Bye, Mark!

- Hey, Mark.

- Mark.
- Mark.

- What?

Guys.

Thank you so much.

- We got you.

- You got your mop.
- Yeah.

- We got something
else for you, too.

Your tutu.

I've been holding
onto it all this time.

- Oh my God.
- It's for you.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

Good to have you back.

- All right, man, take care.

- Thanks, guys.

Thanks so much for everything.

- You bet.

- I wonder what Mark
wanted to tell his fans.

- Julie.

Julie, where are you going?

You can't leave me, too.

- Well,

it's gonna be okay.

- Okay, but, first of all,

I want to show you
something, okay?

Here, would you
hold my hat, please?

- Okay.

- Okay.

What do you think now?

- That is frickin' amazing.

- I'm embarrassed.

Do you like me now?

- I like you an awful lot,

but my name's not Julie.

- Everyone was
gettin' older, but I wasn't.

- I think I need to go now.

- Julie, wait.

- I think you're just a
little bit too young for me.

- My hat.

I just had to tell somebody.

- I know you did.

But now you need to go.

You've got legions of fans
out there, waiting for you.

Go be with them.

- You're sweet.

Will I see you again?

- Absolutely.

- Maybe in another 30 years.

- We can only hope.

- Bye, Julie.

- Bye.

But I'm not Julie.

We do know this.

The producer of The Toxic
Avenger is reported missing.

The parallels to this abduction

are causing unrest in the south.

- Governor.

I need your help, sir.

The local authorities can no
longer handle this situation.

- Today, CNS has learned
that Lloyd Kaufman,

creator of cult classic
film The Toxic Avenger,

is reported missing.

- You don't just make
great movies for 40 years

and then up and disappear.

- Today, I feel devastated.

A great man has departed.

- Fans, as you can see,
are starting to gather.

Some believe it's
not looking good.

- And this is just
heartbreaking for me.

I mean, if there is a Heaven...

- He's been a good neighbor

for years.
- Grandpa, come on, it's okay.

- He's done nothing wrong
as far as I'm concerned.

- They're doing their job,
they're doing their job--

- You should just leave
well enough alone!

- Grandpa, it's okay.

- Obviously, people
loved this man.

- Hello?

- Mark!

- Who is this?

- Do you remember me?

It's Skippy.

- Skippy?
- Yeah.

- Oh my God.

- What's all this
talk about the toxic waste--

- Are you meeting me?

- Yeah.

I have something to give you.

- I don't know how
much longer I can last.

- I steered clear,

but Rob didn't.

He got sucked into
the high in this goo,

and then it ended.

- I can't take it, I
cannot take this, Slug!

She's not even with the car,
and I gotta--

- All right, all right
already, will you chill out?

- She stopped taking
him down to the river,

and didn't tell him why.

It drove him crazy.

- What happened to you?

This is what's killed ya.

This is what's killing everyone.

- Skippy.

- Melvin!

- I made it.

Oh my God.

- Oh, wow.
- 30 years, man!

- Oh my God.
- 30 years.

- It's Slug.
- What?

- Slug, it's Slug.

- Slug?
- What is this

toxic waste?

- Oh my God.

- Oh my God.
- The jar is broken.

What am I gonna do?

Skippy, is that the last of it?

- I loved you, man.

You saved me on my track, man--

- Oh God.
- Oh God.

- Slug must've known

the whole time.

- Slug.

Oh my God!

- Oh, this is it!

This is it!

Oh, that smell.

This is really it.

I found it.

- You messed up, Melvin.

You shied away from
your true destiny.

- Lloyd.

I found it.

It's the oasis.

- It's time you
joined the others

who have taken of
the toxic substance.

- No.

- The essence of toxicity.

It's time to remove the mask.

No need to beguile
the masses any longer.

- But, Lloyd,

what about our fans?

We've gotta warn them.

- Nonsense.

We just have to fix
everything that's wrong

with this big blue
marble we call Earth.

Our fans will
understand, Melvin.

You remember Harry
Balls, doncha,

from Tromeo and Juliet,
and Poultrygeist?

Well, he's back.

- Is that it?

Is that...

Is that--
- Yes, my dear Melvin.

- Oh!

The deity.

It's the source!

- Congratulations, Melvin.

You are now immortal.

Yes, yes, and you,
Melvin, have been chosen

to lead the legions of Tromites

who have been created

by this special

penis substance.

- What do you mean?

Me, with my mop?

Your leader?

- Melvin, Melvin, Boogala.

You are a product of my loins!
- Yay!

- Rise up, Melvin.

Rise up.

Slug and so many others
have already arisen.

Come to Deity Lloyd.

No more masks.

I'll be waiting for you.

I'll be waiting for you.

- Where are you, Mark?

Mark!

Mark.

Mark.

Oh my God.

- The hell
did you do with Mark?

What did you do with him?

- What
about the toxic waste?

- Let me get
to my car, please.

Toxic waste?

There's plenty of toxic waste.

- The
toxic waste, was it real?

- I'm glad we're doing
this, Joe, because...

If something happens to me,

I want them to know.

I want my fans to know.

- And I never did hear
from my good buddy,

Mark Torgl, again.

- Hey, bad boy.

I won't be late for the
ground-breaking ceremony.

- But he did find
the toxic oasis.

♪ Though socially departed

♪ Not socially retarded

♪ I'm back again to prove
I am worth the time ♪

♪ I'm socially departed

♪ Not socially retarded

♪ I'm back again

♪ Intoxify

♪ We're toxic

- No, no, no, no!

Put it in the bag.

Now bring me the mop!

♪ Intoxify

♪ I'm toxic

♪ I'm toxic

♪ I'm toxic

♪ I'm toxic

- Now what'd you
do with my Mark?

What'd you do with him?

Forgive me.

Is there anything else
we could've forgotten?

No demon can intoxify the future

without Melvin.

Sarabel, Sarabel.

Wherefore art Melv?

Does his soul

hang in limbo

in the debris

of this water?

Melvin.

Melvin!

- Oh, look.

Oh, look, oh!

That'll make me all
together, finally.

Let's drink up!

- The older he gets,
the more you learn.

The more you appreciate things,

the more you
appreciate your life.

'Cause I realized,
walkin' in here today,

to the Boogie Woogie Man's camp.

Seein' all of this has
made it all worth it.

- Hey!
- Hey, it's--

- The Toxic Avenger!

- Wait!

I don't wanna hurt you.

You can't hit a
little girl, can you?

- You're a cute little girl.

- Aw, thanks.

- Whore!

- Get her!

- Well, I guess it would be

okay to introduce yourself.

- I'm Gary Schneider,

Bozo, from Toxic Avenger.

No way, huh?

No way?

I'll fucking show you no way!

- Okay, I'll be right there!

- Let me tell you
who holds the roads!

- Oh, whaddaya mean, I
mean it's just a mop.

It doesn't stink or anything--
- Oh my God,

it's the same voice.

- So, it's true.

They set you free?

- Hey.

- How about some
ego-healing special attention?

- Sure.

- Glad
your back, Jonny.

- You're the
cream in my donut.

- Can I have
a nibble?

- Get your own!

- Ooh, what's this?

- You found it.

What are you doing?

Penis!

- Hello?

Hello?

- I'm the kind of girl

who gets whatever she wants.

- All right, now.

- Did you get what I wanted?

- Nice.