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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,048 --> 00:00:08,049 Hmm. 2 00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:11,302 Pointing a gun at a customer? 3 00:00:13,972 --> 00:00:14,973 Will! 4 00:00:17,308 --> 00:00:20,311 What kind of unprofessional shop are you running over there, buddy? 5 00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:23,064 Okay, the gun was for shop security, 6 00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:25,608 and it wasn't loaded, you pussy. 7 00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:28,069 And you're having sex with Lisa, so shut up! 8 00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:30,488 -Yeah, that's cool. What's your point? -It's not cool. 9 00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:33,491 I know you think you're cool 'cause you're wearing a leather jacket. 10 00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:35,660 Come on, pussy and leather? 11 00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:37,412 What's cooler? 12 00:00:37,912 --> 00:00:40,540 Pussy? What's cooler than pussy and leather? 13 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,209 Professionalism and khakis. 14 00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:46,379 Oh, and doing your homework and wearing condoms. 15 00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:47,797 Oh my goodness. 16 00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:50,967 Hey, Jon. 17 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,635 -Hey. -Hey, Dad. 18 00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:56,389 How'd your meeting at the bank go, Will? 19 00:00:58,933 --> 00:00:59,976 Good. 20 00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:03,063 Except that, while you were there, 21 00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,732 one of your techs pulled a gun on a customer. 22 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:07,734 Is that true? 23 00:01:07,817 --> 00:01:12,781 It… it… it was my understanding that Cal was trying to pull the gun on Shane. 24 00:01:13,364 --> 00:01:16,242 You know, Cal didn't know that the customer was there. 25 00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:18,119 So… Actually, you know what? 26 00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:20,789 Select all, drag to trash. Let's just… 27 00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:21,873 The bank went great. 28 00:01:21,956 --> 00:01:23,875 So unprofessional. 29 00:01:26,002 --> 00:01:28,379 Hey, Dad, I got a question. 30 00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:32,467 Um, would it be okay if I had sex with an employee? 31 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:40,683 Kilah? 32 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,227 No, no. No, no, no, no. 33 00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:45,438 -Oh, great question. Jeez. -No, no! It was just a hypothetical. 34 00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,649 Will, listen to me. 35 00:01:47,732 --> 00:01:52,654 We need employment practices liability insurance, 36 00:01:52,737 --> 00:01:55,281 and to get that, we have to do HR training. 37 00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:57,617 -Right. -Great. I can run a training. 38 00:01:57,700 --> 00:02:01,079 -No, I'll run it, not him. -Neither of you are doing HR training. 39 00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:04,833 I am bringing a company in here to do a seminar. 40 00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:06,584 It had better run smoothly. 41 00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:09,587 Mandatory attendance, all managers, including the two of you. 42 00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:13,216 If we do decide to move forward with this expansion, 43 00:02:13,883 --> 00:02:15,426 we need to have our ducks in a row. 44 00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:18,680 All right? If we don't get this insurance, 45 00:02:18,763 --> 00:02:22,058 I'm calling up the bank and telling 'em to shred the application. 46 00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:27,647 I'm gonna ruin this. 47 00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:28,565 Shane! 48 00:02:58,469 --> 00:03:00,805 You got a woman to do HR training to mechanics? 49 00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:02,390 That's so fucking smart of you. 50 00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:04,809 Shane, the training is for managers only. 51 00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:07,395 You are welcome to attend if it's something you wanna-- 52 00:03:07,478 --> 00:03:08,813 No, I don't wanna do that. 53 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:09,898 Okay. 54 00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:11,608 It's just, you know, 55 00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:16,196 if I end up moving up to general manager, it would be nice if you took my place. 56 00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:18,615 Yeah, yeah. Sure. 57 00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:19,782 Okay. 58 00:03:20,491 --> 00:03:21,326 Dropped. 59 00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:25,830 Oh, and I assume the gun is no longer in the shop. Correct? 60 00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:29,459 -Yeah, I got rid of it. -What does that mean? 61 00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:32,128 I filed the serial numbers off and gave it to a Black teenager. 62 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,504 Shane! 63 00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:38,760 -Valley Forge Auto Center. This is Kilah. -Who is this? 64 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:40,178 Who's this? 65 00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:42,222 Oh, you know who this is. 66 00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:44,682 I'm gonna come down there and beat the shit out of you! 67 00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:47,227 -Fuck you, bitch. Go ahead. -Kilah! 68 00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:49,938 -Are you sleeping with my husband? -What's your husband's name? 69 00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:51,689 You know who the fuck my husband is! 70 00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:54,150 You're sucking his little fucking shrimp cock! 71 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,193 -All right. -Well… 72 00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:57,737 You should take it. 73 00:03:57,820 --> 00:03:58,655 Hello? 74 00:03:58,738 --> 00:03:59,906 Who's this? 75 00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:02,200 -This is Will. -Do you work with Dave? 76 00:04:02,283 --> 00:04:04,035 -Yeah, I'm his boss. -Jon? 77 00:04:04,118 --> 00:04:06,663 No, I'm Jon's son, Will, Dave's new boss. 78 00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:08,248 Dave said he was your boss. 79 00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:10,959 Well, he's not. W… whatever. 80 00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:14,170 -Who is… What's… Uh… -This is Barb. 81 00:04:15,129 --> 00:04:16,089 Okay? 82 00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:17,382 His wife. 83 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,718 Oh, yes. Barb! 84 00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:22,470 Hi, how are you? 85 00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:23,930 That woman behind your counter 86 00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:25,223 has been fucking my husband! 87 00:04:25,306 --> 00:04:26,933 Kilah? It's impossible. 88 00:04:27,016 --> 00:04:29,310 She's currently in a relationship with two gay men. 89 00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:31,020 So, bad facts. 90 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,439 No, I know he's sleeping with somebody at Valley Forge. 91 00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:36,067 Well, he's not sleeping with anybody at this branch. 92 00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:38,611 Where is Dave? Is he there? 93 00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:41,823 I don't see him. Have you checked his office? 94 00:04:41,906 --> 00:04:44,742 You tell him if I find him, 95 00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:46,286 I'm gonna rip his dick off! 96 00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:57,547 Yeah, I see it. I'm looking at it right now. 97 00:04:58,214 --> 00:05:00,425 It's nice. It looks a little beat-up. 98 00:05:00,508 --> 00:05:01,426 Come on, Cal. 99 00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:03,303 Look, it's only seven Gs, okay? 100 00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:07,223 You know how rare these cars are. You love it. What's the problem here? 101 00:05:07,932 --> 00:05:09,726 -Yeah. -Listen. 102 00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:12,103 Do you want me to sell it to some douchebag 103 00:05:12,186 --> 00:05:14,480 who's not gonna truly appreciate it? 104 00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:16,065 You appreciate this car. 105 00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:20,153 It'd be like… like a blind guy fucking a chick with a perfect ass. 106 00:05:20,236 --> 00:05:22,947 I'd argue it'd be better. You wouldn't have to look at her butthole. 107 00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:24,574 Don't be gross, okay? 108 00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:26,367 All right. Well, I'll think about it. 109 00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:30,538 Okay. Okay. 110 00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:33,499 Listen, somebody walks on this lot, buys that car, 111 00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:35,543 there's nothing I can do anymore, okay? 112 00:05:35,626 --> 00:05:36,711 Tommy, I'm hungry. 113 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,424 What the fuck am I doing? 114 00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:44,344 -She said she's gonna rip your dick off. -She said that? 115 00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:46,763 Yes. So you gotta handle that. 116 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,348 How does she know? 117 00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:49,265 I don't know. 118 00:05:50,558 --> 00:05:51,559 Did you tell her? 119 00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:52,769 No! 120 00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:55,438 Nice, dude. Listen, I gotta get the fuck out of here though. 121 00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:58,483 -No, no, no! You can't leave, you moron. -What? 122 00:05:58,566 --> 00:06:01,194 Every manager has to take and pass this test. 123 00:06:01,277 --> 00:06:03,654 Don't come at me 'cause you don't get pussy, okay? 124 00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:07,116 You're just jealous that you're not in the situation I'm in. 125 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,911 You wanna be me so fucking bad, Will, it's so pathetic. 126 00:06:09,994 --> 00:06:11,662 Don't try and sabotage me. I'm going. 127 00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:15,625 Okay, that is the worst possible read of my reaction. 128 00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:18,753 You don't get it. I'm like that dickhead from The Beautiful Mind. 129 00:06:18,836 --> 00:06:21,130 Pussy equations just running through my head constantly. 130 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,340 I can't get them to stop, 131 00:06:22,423 --> 00:06:25,218 and I'm just trying to move the pussy numbers from here to there, 132 00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:28,596 balance out the pussy denominators, but sometimes the math doesn't work. 133 00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:29,972 -Ready, Will? -Yes! 134 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,974 -Okay. -All right. Let's do it. 135 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:35,061 Hey, I love that blazer. Oops. Should I not have said that? 136 00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:41,651 Ooh, you gonna buy that thing? 137 00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:43,194 No. 138 00:06:43,277 --> 00:06:45,696 You'd look real gay in that. You should do it. 139 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:47,532 No, I'm just looking at it. 140 00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:53,079 -I don't know if I can trust these guys. -The wops? Of course you can. 141 00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:55,873 Italians, they never turn on each other in every single movie. 142 00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:00,753 Why don't you join Will's meeting? 143 00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,589 The manager shit? I'm not doing it. You… 144 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:07,218 You do not want me to be a manager. I'd grind you into dust. 145 00:07:07,301 --> 00:07:08,970 Yeah, right. 146 00:07:09,053 --> 00:07:11,472 We'd get nothing done. We'd be drunk in here by noon. 147 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,350 Not you. You wouldn't be allowed to drink. 148 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:17,186 I'd build one of these. A little stock… What are those? 149 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,564 -Stockades. -I'd get a stockade back there. 150 00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:22,400 We'd all drink in front of you and throw vegetables at you. 151 00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:25,236 Well, thank God you've got no ambition. 152 00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:29,782 You do that all the time. 153 00:07:30,491 --> 00:07:34,495 Mine was fun. I was joking around. Then you say a real personal fucking… 154 00:07:35,037 --> 00:07:37,957 No, I wasn't… I was kidding too. What, do you have ambition? 155 00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:40,001 Yeah, I have… 156 00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:41,836 I have a ton of ambition. 157 00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:44,172 All right, well… 158 00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:45,465 Clean that up. 159 00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:58,436 Okay. Well, thank you, everybody, for showing up. 160 00:07:58,519 --> 00:08:00,062 You forced us to. 161 00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:03,316 Okay. Well, thank you for choosing not to quit over this. 162 00:08:03,399 --> 00:08:05,067 I promise it won't take long. 163 00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:08,029 As we continue to grow as a company, 164 00:08:08,112 --> 00:08:09,906 which benefits us all, 165 00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:14,160 it's important to do, uh, stuff… like this. 166 00:08:14,243 --> 00:08:15,286 Be respectful! 167 00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:17,079 Okay? 168 00:08:17,788 --> 00:08:21,542 And without further ado, let's please welcome Carmen Vela… Vela… 169 00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:22,752 Velazquez. 170 00:08:23,377 --> 00:08:24,253 Velazquez. 171 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:27,465 -Yes. -Thank you, Will, very much. 172 00:08:27,548 --> 00:08:29,550 How did everyone's weekend go? 173 00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:31,135 Did anyone do anything fun? 174 00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:36,599 Okay. Well, uh, 175 00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:39,727 I… I had a really nice day at the beach with my husband. 176 00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:42,563 -Fuck. -Yeah, we went to the boardwalk. 177 00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:45,149 It was, like, a beautiful sunset. 178 00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:48,986 We had those little martinis with the umbrellas in them. 179 00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:52,823 There were some sand dunes. We got to ride those little buggies… 180 00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:54,992 Dave's wife called. She's looking for him. 181 00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:56,452 -What? -Jesus, Shane! 182 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:57,620 And… 183 00:08:57,703 --> 00:09:00,456 Can you keep it down so she can get this underway, please? 184 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:04,669 -Thank you… -Dave. Uh, I'm the general manager. 185 00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:07,213 Dave. Well, I can see why. 186 00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:11,425 Uh, I'm… I'm actually, not in title yet, but I am the general man-- 187 00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:13,219 Will is our boss's son. 188 00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:18,099 Uh, great. And listen, I know it's almost the end of everyone's workday, 189 00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:22,478 and we're all itching to go home, but I need your full attention because… 190 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,439 …there will be a test at the end. 191 00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:29,694 Okay? And when I can certify that all managers of Valley Forge Auto 192 00:09:29,777 --> 00:09:32,655 have passed that test, well, I approve for insurance. 193 00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:35,950 Sound good? Okay, let's get started. 194 00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:38,536 Protected classes. 195 00:09:38,619 --> 00:09:40,413 What are some protected classes? 196 00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:42,123 Gay and lesbian. 197 00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:43,833 -Handicaps. -Cross-eyed girls. 198 00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:45,167 -No-- -Cross-eyed girls? 199 00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,836 -They should be protected. -Okay. 200 00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:49,380 -I'll protect them. -Let's take this seriously, you guys. 201 00:09:49,463 --> 00:09:50,590 Black. 202 00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:53,884 I'm actually not protected at all. I'm too straight and jacked. 203 00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:55,177 You're fat. You're protected. 204 00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:58,806 Is no-shoulders, shrimp-body, cocaine addict up there? 205 00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:01,892 Dude, I do coke three times a week. You act like it's like a crime. 206 00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:03,769 -It's not. -You think I'm protected? 207 00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:07,857 You… you think I'm so fat that, if I got fired, I could sue the company? 208 00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:10,651 Absolutely. If I was your lawyer, I would pursue it. 209 00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:13,696 Fellas, we really need to stay on track here, okay? 210 00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:17,116 Thank you again, Dave. Please, let's not just call out. 211 00:10:17,199 --> 00:10:21,829 Okay? Let's raise our hands if we have a question and be respectful. 212 00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:24,790 I'm hearing a lot of microaggressions, which we'll get to in a second. 213 00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,167 Midgets. 214 00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:30,129 Hey, hey. No more contributions from you. 215 00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:31,213 What? I… 216 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:32,548 -Midgets. -No! 217 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,675 Will, Dave's wife is on two. 218 00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:39,764 Oh, good. Kilah's here. Kilah, can you give us an example of a microaggression? 219 00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:43,100 Rape. 220 00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:45,019 -Oh. -Oh my God, Kilah! 221 00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:47,021 Micro. Micro! 222 00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:47,938 Fingering. 223 00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:51,734 Uh, okay. Thank you, Kilah. You can go back to the counter now. 224 00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:53,819 -I'll be up in a second. -What was the right answer? 225 00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:57,073 There's no… Just go back to the counter. Thank you. 226 00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:59,408 -I actually have a question. -No, he doesn't. 227 00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:00,993 You know my shoulder gets stuck here. 228 00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:03,120 -Shane! Shane! -Ow! 229 00:11:03,204 --> 00:11:05,456 -Okay. Okay. All right! -Ow! 230 00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:09,126 I got kicked out. 231 00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:12,254 Hello, Barb. 232 00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:14,799 I'm at his shop, Will. Guess what? 233 00:11:14,882 --> 00:11:16,384 He's not here. 234 00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:19,845 Okay. Well, did you check his office? 235 00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:22,807 Of course I checked his office, soft jaw! 236 00:11:22,890 --> 00:11:25,226 Jared here said he was going to your shop today. 237 00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:28,562 Said he was going to some kind of teaching thing. 238 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,690 Jesus fucking Christ! 239 00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:33,234 I can barely get a cohesive sentence out of this mute! 240 00:11:33,317 --> 00:11:35,236 Is there a gas leak in all these places? 241 00:11:35,319 --> 00:11:37,905 Uh… Have you checked the Outback? 242 00:11:37,988 --> 00:11:39,323 He goes there a lot. 243 00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:41,951 If he shows up, I'll let you know. 244 00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:45,705 If he shows up there today and you don't fucking tell me, 245 00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:47,707 I'm gonna rip your dick off too! 246 00:11:52,294 --> 00:11:53,129 Fuck you! 247 00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:57,091 What did I do? 248 00:11:57,174 --> 00:11:58,342 Oh, she's gone. 249 00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:01,178 …discrimination, protection… 250 00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:02,722 Holy Toledo. 251 00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:06,851 …an employee must be a member of a class of individuals… 252 00:12:06,934 --> 00:12:09,478 Now she's talking about ripping my dick off too! 253 00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:11,564 Will, please. 254 00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:12,481 Oh, I'm sorry. 255 00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:15,025 I'm sorry. Can we… Can we… 256 00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:17,987 Can we just circle back to the fact 257 00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:20,865 that it's not that big of a deal to do coke once in a while? 258 00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:23,409 -Absolutely not! -Everybody, stop interrupting the seminar. 259 00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:26,412 Thank you, Dave. I really appreciate your leadership 260 00:12:26,495 --> 00:12:28,706 and trying to keep everyone on track. 261 00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:31,417 Okay. Carmen, what he's doing isn't leadership. 262 00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:34,128 Really? Because you said you were a general manager also, 263 00:12:34,211 --> 00:12:36,130 but you've been disruptive multiple times. 264 00:12:36,213 --> 00:12:38,257 -Yeah, but-- -You left the seminar to take calls. 265 00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:40,301 -Yeah. -You're yelling at your staff. 266 00:12:40,384 --> 00:12:42,470 -Wanna know what call I left to take? -Don't. 267 00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:44,889 I'm not being disruptive. He is! 268 00:12:44,972 --> 00:12:46,557 Dave's having an affair with Lisa. 269 00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:51,729 Fuck! 270 00:12:51,812 --> 00:12:54,273 His wife found out this morning, and now she's looking for him. 271 00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:57,234 That's why he's trying to "keep everybody on track." Your words. 272 00:12:57,902 --> 00:12:58,944 Isn't Lisa hot? 273 00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:01,322 Oh my God. 274 00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:03,199 Where are you going? 275 00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:06,619 Carmen? What are you doing? 276 00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:10,873 Carmen? Is this part of the presentation? We can't see the screen. 277 00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:12,500 What? Carmen! 278 00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:15,044 -I got a question. Is this over? -No, it's not over. 279 00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:18,339 Actually, yes, it's over. This is a total waste of my time. 280 00:13:18,422 --> 00:13:21,759 -We didn't get past the first slide. -How many goddamn slides are there? 281 00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:23,928 …and you're doing nothing to facilitate that, 282 00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:25,846 so let your dad know that I'm leaving. 283 00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:29,141 What? No, Carmen. Hold on a second. Let's talk about this. 284 00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:30,768 Flawless victory. 285 00:13:31,268 --> 00:13:32,853 I fucked that whole thing up. 286 00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:35,731 I don't know. I feel bad for him. 287 00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:40,110 Don't feel bad for him. He wanted this. He called this meeting. He wants power. 288 00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:41,904 He's a greedy little pig. 289 00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:45,574 He just wants the place to be successful. 290 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,993 It seems like he wants you to be a big part of it. 291 00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:50,579 You just gotta stop fucking with him and help. 292 00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:05,052 Shut the fuck up, Cal. 293 00:14:05,135 --> 00:14:07,513 -You can't leave! -I can, I will, and I am. 294 00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:10,766 -We're not gonna get the insurance. -Hey. Hey. 295 00:14:11,475 --> 00:14:13,978 Sorry about that. I was just messing around out there. 296 00:14:17,439 --> 00:14:21,944 Also, sorry about the Hitler salute. That was also… I was messing around. 297 00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:24,822 Will's Jewish, too, so it was… I didn't mean anything. 298 00:14:24,905 --> 00:14:27,324 All the more reason to not joke about that. 299 00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:29,118 Exactly. More reason to joke about it. 300 00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:32,538 Come on. Let's get back out there. I'll help you through it. 301 00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:34,290 I'll make sure they stay on track. 302 00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:38,294 -Come on. HR's important to us. -Shane. 303 00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:41,005 That was the last one. I'm fucking around. That was the last. 304 00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:42,923 It's fine. I don't even care. 305 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,427 I think you do care. 306 00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:48,929 Yeah? And how would you know that? 307 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:52,016 'Cause I do the exact same thing. 308 00:14:52,516 --> 00:14:56,562 Every time something doesn't go well, I go, "I don't even care. That was dumb." 309 00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:59,023 Then usually, I get in my car and drive home 310 00:14:59,106 --> 00:15:01,942 and… go fucking, "I wish I didn't…" 311 00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:04,653 "I wish I applied myself and tried for once." 312 00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:06,614 You've done that. 313 00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:10,242 Oh, there it is. Is that a little smile? 314 00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:13,704 -I think that was a little smile. -Shut the fuck up, Will. I had it. 315 00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:15,539 -Well… -Come on. 316 00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:16,832 I'll help. 317 00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:20,085 It could be fun. I'll be your dickhead translator. 318 00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:21,211 I'll do it with you. 319 00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:25,716 Please? 320 00:15:27,134 --> 00:15:30,012 You gotta come by and buy this car before somebody steals it! 321 00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:34,224 -This car's hotter than your sister's ass! -It's hotter than your mom's meatballs! 322 00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:36,602 -It's hotter than your nonna's diaper. -Oh! 323 00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:37,937 Oh! 324 00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:39,730 -All sales final. -Oh! 325 00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:47,321 All right, dickheads, listen up. I know this sucks. We're all dumbasses. 326 00:15:47,404 --> 00:15:49,657 But if we just fucking lock in and plow through this, 327 00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:51,116 we can get it over with, all right? 328 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,618 Carmen, next slide, please. 329 00:15:53,243 --> 00:15:55,829 Okay, sexual harassment. 330 00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:58,624 Ooh, look at that. Goddamn! Look at the ripples on that ass. 331 00:15:58,707 --> 00:16:00,042 That's assault for sure. 332 00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,418 Some girls like that. 333 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,464 I mean, you can't go smacking any girl's ass like that. 334 00:16:05,547 --> 00:16:08,092 Exactly. You can't just go around smacking asses, 335 00:16:08,175 --> 00:16:11,470 even if they're perfectly sculpted cartoon asses like this. 336 00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:15,683 Okay, well, it's important to note that sexual harassment can be nonverbal. 337 00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:20,187 Um, can anyone give me an example of nonverbal sexual harassment? 338 00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:31,573 -Kind of walked right into that one, huh? -Yeah. 339 00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,409 We can all agree those are hilarious. 340 00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:35,285 No. No. 341 00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:37,246 -All right, next slide. -Okay. 342 00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:40,791 We can cover that later. Next. 343 00:16:40,874 --> 00:16:43,419 Great pace, Shane. Let's keep it moving. Excellent. 344 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:44,962 Ableism. 345 00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:47,673 -Whatever the fuck… Oh. -Uh… 346 00:16:47,756 --> 00:16:48,966 Wheelchair people. 347 00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:51,427 That's a potato chip in a wheelchair. 348 00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:54,346 I don't think potato chips in wheelchairs are funny at all anymore. 349 00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:56,181 A person in a wheelchair is not funny. 350 00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,808 It depends on how they got there, 351 00:16:57,891 --> 00:17:01,020 but for the most part, wheelchair people are not funny. 352 00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:03,605 I've seen hot chicks in wheelchairs. Ever see one on a street, 353 00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:06,734 little Hot Wheels coming at you? You don't laugh at them, do you? 354 00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:08,068 You go, 355 00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:10,362 "Goddamn, I wish I had her 356 00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:12,823 instead of my disgusting pig standing wife." 357 00:17:12,906 --> 00:17:16,410 You kidding me? Wheelchair wife? That's a dream wife. 358 00:17:16,493 --> 00:17:18,871 She starts yapping a little. You go, "You know what?" 359 00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:20,914 "I am gonna watch the end of the baseball game." 360 00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:22,750 "Let's get you back to the guest room." 361 00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:25,461 "Put you on ice for ten minutes, let you think about this." 362 00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:29,173 You fall asleep around the seventh inning, and you go… 363 00:17:29,798 --> 00:17:31,759 "Oh fuck. I forgot her back there." 364 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,182 That's what ableism is. 365 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:42,019 -No, it's not. -It was close. It was close enough. Next. 366 00:17:42,102 --> 00:17:43,145 2,000! 367 00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:44,188 5,000, Cal. 368 00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:48,567 3,000. 369 00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:49,568 5,000. 370 00:17:49,651 --> 00:17:52,905 I got a guy here who's willing to pay six. I'm staring at him in the face. 371 00:17:53,989 --> 00:17:56,075 -What guy? -Can't do that. Against the rules. 372 00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:57,409 Client confidentiality. 373 00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:04,041 4,000. 374 00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:06,460 4,700. 375 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,128 4,000. 376 00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:10,839 4,200. 377 00:18:12,299 --> 00:18:14,009 No, 3,700. 378 00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,639 4,000, you got a deal. 379 00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:22,726 All right, yes. Thank you. Thank you. 380 00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:29,358 Fuck. 381 00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:40,160 -Why don't we wrap this up? Great work. -Implicit bias. 382 00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:42,788 That's basically just, everything you think is wrong, 383 00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:44,248 and it is because of racism, 384 00:18:44,331 --> 00:18:47,501 and whoever wrote this down definitely doesn't have biases of their own. 385 00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:51,380 Racism, only white people can be racist, everybody else cannot be racist, 386 00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:54,049 and Black people definitely love Chinese people. Next slide. 387 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,926 Actually, it's a little more-- 388 00:18:56,009 --> 00:18:58,428 Carmen, can we speak privately for a second, please? 389 00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:01,974 -All right. Let's take five. -Great, great. 390 00:19:02,474 --> 00:19:05,144 -Can we go back to the ass slide? -Great question, Darnell. 391 00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:20,742 That motherfucker! 392 00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:22,202 You're dead, pig! 393 00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,663 Hey, listen. I hate to ask you this, 394 00:19:24,746 --> 00:19:26,999 but do you think you could just fire that test up? 395 00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:29,001 I'll take it fast and be out of your hair. 396 00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:31,628 You got a lot of nerve to ask me to do that. 397 00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:35,591 -I've worked hard on this presentation-- -I get it, but I really need this now. 398 00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:41,680 There's my girl! 399 00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:43,765 What a nice surprise! 400 00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:45,851 Guys, my wife is here. 401 00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:47,728 I looked everywhere for you. 402 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,439 I even went to the Black store, 403 00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:54,276 which is the only place where somebody paid me a compliment. 404 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:55,944 That mean Freddie there. 405 00:19:57,112 --> 00:19:58,572 Somebody needs to call the police. 406 00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:00,449 You. 407 00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:04,244 You dirty little slut. 408 00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:05,662 That's my husband! 409 00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:08,248 -I'm sorry? -Whoa, this is not what it looks like. 410 00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:10,709 Oh, yeah, right. I found your stash. 411 00:20:10,792 --> 00:20:13,337 Apple-flavored condoms? Disgusting. 412 00:20:13,420 --> 00:20:15,756 I didn't know Mexicans had such a sweet tooth. 413 00:20:15,839 --> 00:20:16,924 -Okay… -Whoa! 414 00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:20,594 Now, that is a microaggression, which is something we don't tolerate here. 415 00:20:20,677 --> 00:20:21,511 I would never-- 416 00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:24,264 Oh, don't try to back your way out of this now, 417 00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:26,975 hot girl in a business suit or whatever the fuck this is. 418 00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,894 -Okay, what do you do? -I don't work! 419 00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:31,104 -I do pretty well. -Shut up! 420 00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:33,273 How long has this been going on for? 421 00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:36,318 Don't put your finger in my face, you… frumpy bitch. 422 00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:38,946 Wow. 423 00:20:41,823 --> 00:20:42,908 What are you, Latina? 424 00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:46,745 Yeah, sure. You look good now. Just wait till you hit 40. 425 00:20:46,828 --> 00:20:49,790 You're gonna look like a leftover bowl of guacamole. 426 00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:56,296 That is correct. 427 00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,716 That is correct. 428 00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:02,010 That is correct. 429 00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:06,056 Wait. You're not allowed to accept any pictures of breasts? 430 00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:08,350 No. 431 00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:10,811 That is correct. Test complete. 432 00:21:10,894 --> 00:21:12,187 Congratulations. 433 00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:14,523 All right. 434 00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:18,527 ♪ It's just a ♪ 435 00:21:20,570 --> 00:21:22,489 ♪ Sign of the times ♪ 436 00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,160 ♪ But we all like it a wee bit ♪ 437 00:21:28,745 --> 00:21:30,998 ♪ Let it grow in our cells ♪ 438 00:21:32,165 --> 00:21:35,585 ♪ It takes up so much in our heads ♪ 439 00:21:35,669 --> 00:21:37,254 ♪ It's like a personal hell ♪ 440 00:21:37,337 --> 00:21:39,089 ♪ Whenever you picture that fear ♪ 441 00:21:39,172 --> 00:21:41,300 ♪ No wonder we're all empty ♪ 442 00:21:42,592 --> 00:21:44,511 ♪ We all witnessed a war ♪ 443 00:21:46,013 --> 00:21:50,434 ♪ Most of us are safe As we go off to work ♪ 444 00:21:50,517 --> 00:21:53,312 ♪ Ah, fuck It's just a sign of the times ♪ 445 00:21:56,231 --> 00:21:57,232 ♪ It's ♪ 446 00:21:58,817 --> 00:22:00,027 ♪ Just a ♪ 447 00:22:02,195 --> 00:22:04,031 ♪ Sign of the times ♪ 32371

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