Original subtitles

At least Jared could have led us to a place near the strip. Then I could have

hit the craft table.

This is dead single mold, like you asked.

And you're forgetting something.

Jared didn't lead us here. His friend told him to stay here in an email I

intercepted. We've been compromised this time, and he's going to walk right into

our hands.

My hands.

Now go to your room.

Well, this is my room.

Our room.

This is the honeymoon suite.

Not even after four of these.

Oh, no, no. Miss Parker was perfect.

Why do you think Sidney and Lyle are coming tomorrow?

If Jared came here and he saw a woman and three men on the register, well,

know we're here.

This way, if you and I pretend to be the honeymoon couple, well, he'd be none

the wiser.

This was your idea.

Yeah.

I mean, it's a good one, isn't it?

Nobody believe you and Sid. He's middle -aged and he's Flemish. And you, you're

young, unless you think that you'd rather room with Lyle.

Center's a sick place, but your own brother?

Relax, Romeo. That's as far as I go.

Take first watch. Anybody pulls into that parking lot, send a flare.

Okay.

Bruce, fall asleep. It'll be a hell of a wedding.

Welcome to Sin City, Las Vegas, Nevada.

A pretender could win big here.

Some other pretender.

I've been told nothing but snake eyes.

I should be having some fun in the sun, and all I got is frostbite.

They say luck is a lady.

That must be good luck.

Bad luck is definitely a man.

And he dresses funny.

Argyle tried to sell me to the center a couple years back.

Last year, he almost got me killed.

Why should this year be any different?

Some days it doesn't pay to answer your email.

There are pretenders among us.

I was taken from my family. 36 ,000. He's already demonstrating more talent

any of our others.

How many people died because of what I thought up? Since I broke out, I've

every moment searching for my path. He's a pretender.

A genius who can become anyone that he wants to be.

But since I want him alive... Preferably, he defends the weak and

Life's a gift.

You a doctor? I am today.

Look at me.

Some genius.

I wish I could pretend myself into some long johns. But in my own defense, this

all started when Argyle decided to become a pretender.

While his mouth was writing checks, his brain couldn't cash.

Hello?

J -Man, you made it. Argyle, what are you doing? I'm sorry, J -Dog. You saw

door. This is a dangerous business.

And when you're the mac daddy of private dicks, the flying monkeys, all they

want to do is put you on the night train to Amarillo City. Well, lucky you

didn't get your ticket punched.

Richard Dixon, private investigator.

Oh, no, I ain't Dick Dixon.

I'm his partner. So why did you email me? Why don't you get him to help you?

well, you see, this ain't Double D's kind of gig. This is what we in the

industry call a multifaceted type thing. See, there's a lot of cross -purposing

entities, multicultural purposes, you know, all of that and whatnot.

Goodbye, Argyle. No, no, no. Wait, Jay, Jay, you can't leave me. You can't

leave. You're all I got, man. I'm in trouble, Jared.

Please.

Raymond Chandler had a secret for writing detective stories.

When in doubt, he said, have somebody enter the room with a gun.

Okay, it's an ice cream cone.

But it was pistachio. And I'm allergic to pistachios.

You Dick Dixon? Me? No, I'm his partner.

That's Dick Dixon.

Ow! Ow!

Think that hurt? Take this!

Let's call this story Death by Double Dip. Now our pistachio -packing friend

will have to wait, since the pretender is now Dick Dixon, private eye.

Let me give you the skinny.

Argyle's new job was another epic work of fiction.

Dick Dixon isn't even around anymore.

He skipped town last year, buried in debt.

Argyle had only become his partner a week earlier.

He was working the building as a hospitality technician.

That's what he called it.

I call it janitor. He happened to be scrubbing Dick Dixon's abandoned office

when she walked in.

I'm looking for Dick.

Excuse me?

You know, Dick.

Dick?

Dick Dixon.

Oh. Oh, Dick Dixon.

Uh, yeah.

Um, no.

He's gone.

Gone? Yeah, he took the slow boat to China. He's wasting away in

that kind of a thing.

Do you work for him? Do I work for him? Yeah.

Do I work for him? I am his nom de plume. I'm his crudograph. I am his

in arms, you know what I'm saying? I am his partner, for Pete's sake.

Um, you do his dirty work?

That's funny.

This mop, you see, I'm undercover.

I'm what we in the industry call the clandestinal partner.

Whatever Dick wants, Argyle gets Dick.

Argyle. Interesting name.

Yeah, my parents gave it to me on account of my birthmark.

Hey, would you like to see my birthmark?

No! Oh, no, I'm sorry. I get that a lot. Please don't cry. I hate to see a girl

cry. Here, take this.

There you go. That's all right.

Say, what's your name?

Mona. Like the Lisa?

Yeah. That's very beautiful.

Listen, Mona, I can help.

Talk to me.

I'm a showgirl. Down at the club alley bar.

And my boss is in trouble.

Trouble? What's your boss's name?

Dirty Willie.

He doesn't bathe? No, people call him that.

The good man takes care of us, and all the girls have comprehensive dental.

Wow, that's key.

And this bucket of quarters is all he's got left.

And he told me to give this to Mr.

Dixon. Okay.

I will get this to Mr.

Dixon. Willie knows things, Mr. Argyle.

Oh, yeah?

Things that he shouldn't know.

He needs protection. Consider it done, Miss Lisa.

Argyle is on the case.

Argyle is on the case.

Five words to send a chill down your spine.

Argyle embraced the cliché, casting himself in the starring role of a big

private eye extraordinaire.

Determined to help Mona, he made his way back into the club alley bar.

And like a true detective, was looking for clues.

Anything he could find that would lead him to where or what happened to Dirty

Willie.

But he wasn't ready to be a star.

As soon as things got real, Argyle wished he'd taken a bit part.

Dirty Willie.

He'd done the job. Solved the case. He had the killer cornered. So Argyle did

what Argyle does best.

He never saw the hitman.

Who could at that speed?

He was pretty sure the killer didn't see him.

Pretty sure.

Which brings us back to our pistachio packet porker.

He was wondering the same thing as me.

Where the hell is Mona? I don't know. She told me she was coming to see you,

Dixon. And now she's gone?

Did she say where she was going? She hasn't told me anything.

Did she leave anything?

Look, normally I don't talk to gun -wielding thugs.

Yeah, your mama must be real proud of you now, eh, big boy?

No, she'd probably give me a licking.

My mama's dead.

The truth is, I'm not a thug. My name's Mike. I'm Mona's brother.

Oh, hi, Mike.

Hi.

It just ain't like her not to check in. Our parents died when we were real

little, and I made a promise to Mom that I'd take care of Mona.

I just gotta know she's okay.

You will.

Just as soon as we find out anything, you'll be the first to know, I promise.

Right, partner?

Yeah.

Dick Dixon is on the case.

Kicking tail and taking names, you are Mr.

Positivity, the shy of I can.

Hey now, it's well right.

Like I always say, private dick's gotta have a ragtime.

You are not going.

What are you talking about? I'm not a detective and you are not my partner. If

I'm going to help you, you stay out of my way.

That was extremely hostile. You know, I can't keep saving your life if you keep

lying yourself into a corner you have to think.

Hey, I've been thinking.

I was upside inside out living la vida loca till I met you.

After you helped me and Pop last year, I'm mending my wicked ways, you know.

I ain't had nothing but honest jobs since.

Only thing missing is the love of my life.

And I met her last week.

Mona's the one.

You spent six minutes with her.

360 glorious seconds, J -Man.

Something happened between us, I'm telling you. It was like electronical

chemicals or something.

Pheromones, baby, I'm telling you.

Now my future brother -in -law is weeping in his pistachio. You gotta let

come with you, Jayster. You gotta let me help her.

Jayman, Jaydog, please, I'm begging you. Please, please, please, please, please.

There are certain times in life when you need to think with your heart, not your

head. This wasn't one of those times.

But I thought it was, so I made the following mistake.

Please.

Get in.

Oh,

golly, it's on the case.

Come on.

How did I get in this nightmare?

Well, I remember I was watching out for Jared, and you looked at me with bedroom

eyes like you wanted to do the late -night creep.

I did not.

We did not.

Well, how can you be sure, Miss Parker? For starters, pigs aren't flying.

Hell hasn't frozen over, and you're not the last man on Earth.

What? How's the takeout going?

Hi, how are you?

I am fine.

Sweeper team says you haven't reported in.

Something came up. I overslept.

But I'll jump from head and drop.

I'll be there tomorrow with Lyle and Raines.

Okay, is everything all right?

I am rolling nothing but seven.

You so much as hint at this. When they arrive, I will amputate your head.

What about this?

There is no...

Nothing happened, Bruce.

Like I said, it was a nightmare, and I'm glad I woke up.

When you say things like that, do you even consider my feelings?

What is it about me that you find so repulsive?

You really want to know?

Yes, I really want to know.

What I find so... Utterly

uninspiring about you is your idea of risk is to go without deodorant.

When the bullets stop flying, you're always the one shaking in the corner.

That, in the game of life, is second string.

And I don't want those scrubs.

Hey, stop.

And let me tell you something, and you, you shut up and listen.

You're right.

I've never taken a risk.

Because the whole time I've known you, I've only wanted to take just one.

Which one would that be?

You're in your office.

It's late, and I sneak in.

In one hand, I have gardenias, and in the other, I have a bottle of single

malts, two of your favorite things in the world.

And I find that little spot on the nape of your neck.

And I just rub it the right way to get rid of that migraine you always get

6 .20 every night.

The one you never tell anyone about.

The truth is, if I had just one shot, you know what I'd do?

I would take your pain away.

The truth is, you'd be lucky to get a scramble at me.

Do you hear that, Bert?

What?

Pigs are flying.

Life

is

strange. One hour in the Nevada Sun, and I had more unanswered questions than

the Warren Commission.

It was Dirty Willie's murder to solve, and Mona the missing showgirl to track

down. But Argyle had to see his father, Benny. The old man used to be obsessed

with the Pope.

I was about to find out.

Wayne Newton is more than a holy man.

He is the shaman of the strip. He is the duke of downtown.

Wayne Newton is Las Vegas.

If you say so. You know, I met him once.

Sort of. Maya Della and I saw him in Vegas long ago.

Who would have thought I'd be back here in Vegas with Argyle, living in this

exquisite gold villa?

Driving range is open.

Yeah. The only one missing is Maya Della.

This week would have been our 50th anniversary.

She was my inspiration, Jared. She's the reason I'm writing a song for Wayne.

Hey, Pop, we don't have time for that. Oh, sure we do. The big W, he changed

lives, so Maya Della suggested that I should write him a song, sort of a

companion piece to Don Cushane.

She said, call it Auf Wiedersehen, and here goes nothing.

Where's the song?

Also a work in progress. It'll be ready by tomorrow.

What's happening tomorrow?

Uh, Wayne is playing in a charity tournament, and he will be right there

putting, and I will be right here standing when I hit him with the

You know, I've never actually played golf, but, um, won't that disturb his

Oh, yeah.

Well, yeah, I bet it's worth it for my Adela's last wish, isn't it?

It's more than worth it. Yeah.

And the Big W will love it, Pop. But we've got to get out of here. We've got

catch ourselves a killer.

I've got me a song to write.

Catch you later, Pop.

It was nice to see Benjamin tonight.

But Argyle was right.

We did have a killer to catch.

So we'll get back to him soon.

Okay.

Dirty Willie brought her right about here. And I saw the killer standing

over there.

Hey, funny face.

This area's off limits, all right? I got top -notch talent making their way

through here to the most glorious stage in Las Vegas, and I can't have you or

that thing you call a suit in the way.

Let me explain. No, there's no explaining that. And who the hell are

name is Dick Dixon.

You're Dick Dixon?

Oh! You slept with my wife, you scumbag! I don't even know your wife. Thrifty

Sweets, number 38. Ring a bell, pumpkin?

Hey, hey, hey, have fun. This ain't about your old lady giving room service,

right? We're trying to find Mona Jeffries. Yeah, well, I ain't keen on

what are you gonna do about it, fuck guy?

You see that? There goes my shivers.

Where'd you learn how to do that? I ran a dojo once. Now tell us what you know.

Okay, I'll tell you what I told the cops, all right? Mona ain't your typical

showgirl, all right? She won't show her cones and she saves her dough.

She bought a condo outside of town.

Where?

Oh, gee, God, I'll tell you, geez.

I got your back, J -Man.

Oh, that's very comforting.

Either my Mona's real messy, J -Man, or something real bad happened to her.

You can stop right there.

Let's see some ID.

The ID's on the car.

My name is Dick Dixon.

You're Dick Dixon?

Yeah. You slept with one of our deputies.

She left the force because of you.

I seem to have that effect on people.

What happened here? It's been a while since you cracked your detective

huh, Dixon?

We got a report of a disturbance.

Door was jimmied, place has been trashed, but her car keys, purse, and

are still here.

Mona was leaving?

No, she was kidnapped.

You gonna get that?

It is the honeymoon, Dwight.

Oh, it's dead.

Barely. Something is wrong.

Oh, no.

As a matter of fact, things are going to be different from now.

Bruce, you are going to pay for using all the hot water, you moron.

You are saying, Bruce?

Sid. Please tell me you're here to relieve me. Being cooped up with Felix

here makes me glad it's your sorry mug.

Lyle and I registered at Caesars.

Separate rooms?

Separate suites.

I will be here later.

Perhaps we can take over.

Hopefully I won't have plugged Brunt's before then. Call me when he gets here.

I thought things were going to be different between us.

Where is my wife?

This... Not that they know of.

Could you imagine what they would do if they knew?

Right, right. We don't want to give them any ammunition now, do we?

Speaking of which, my clip is empty.

Oh, yeah. I get it, baby.

What if we're going to do this?

I've always had a little fantasy. I want to live out with you.

But first, I want you to call me.

Puff Daddy.

Say it.

Say it.

Puff.

Daddy.

Welcome to station W -E -F -U -N -K, better known as Wee Punk, or, different

still, the Mothership Connection.

home of the extraterrestrial brothers, viewers of the funky music, P -Funk,

Uncut Funk, The Bomb.

They say that life is stranger than fiction.

Mine certainly has been. And this was no exception.

Mona was kidnapped.

But by whom?

Whatever trouble her boss, Dirty Willie, found, it certainly found her.

And it was only a matter of time before it found us.

I did what Sidney always taught me. When in doubt, go back to the evidence. A

couple of things just don't make any sense.

According to the autopsy report, what killed Dirty Willie was low levels of

oxygen in his tissues due to hypothermia.

Extreme cold. He froze to death.

In Vegas?

And he had several ice pick holes in his hands.

I'm thinking torture.

Wait a second, J -Man.

You don't think who's ever doing this might, you know, poke Mona like that.

Let's hope not.

According to this file, he's the number one suspect.

Constantine Valzone.

An extortionist for the Pozovac crime family.

What other party of two plus two case don't add up to four?

Dirty Willie weighed over 300 pounds.

Frozen or not, that's a lot of Willie for one man to carry around. Wait, what

are you saying, Jay? There were two killers who tortured Dirty Willie and

him to death.

Question is, what do they want out of him?

That's easy, baby.

Cash. Do -re -mi, Jay, man.

Everybody knows Falzon collects around town.

So maybe Dirty Willie couldn't come up with the green, and the twins get P

with him.

Twins? Falzone's got these Frigidares that work for him. Calls them his

Caddies? Why?

Falzone, Sin City old -timer.

Doesn't care about shopping malls, pirate ships, or the Eiffel Tower in the

desert. He's only interested in cash and a three -handed cat. J -Bot, those two

goons killed Dirty Willie and kidnapped my Mona. I say we waste them and snag

Falzone. No.

We meet Falzone out there on his own turf.

But you don't know how to play.

It's all geometry and physics.

How hard could that be?

Sidney always taught me the most difficult pretends have an inner secret.

Once you reveal that secret, it comes naturally.

In 56 minutes, I found the secret to a perfect golf game. I'll share it with

sometime.

The twins were impressed, just like I said.

Pelzone wanted to take me on.

Then I told them I was Dick Dixon.

Guess which one's married.

The twins promised to get us to Pelzone.

Which they did.

However, in true Chandler -esque fashion, we found out it was with a

Someone else had gotten to him first.

And to think, I wasted 56 minutes.

Raymond Chandler always said the best way to get a reader's attention is with

dead body.

But of course, Chandler wasn't writing this one.

I got balls!

I got balls!

I'm the friggin' leader.

People actually throw these away.

And that makes them yours.

Possession is nine -tenths.

You ought to know, I hear Dick Dixon steals wives.

And I hear you hang dirty willies. And now you kidnap Mona Jeffries.

How come I got the feeling you cheated golf?

You're not cheating.

You're not playing.

Hey, we want Mona back.

Who are you, little Dick?

All right, I'll show you little, you big freak.

Hey, dirty Willie never came up short.

So there's no reason to kill him.

As for Mona...

A Viagra -popping man such as myself can only pray to enjoy a muffin like that

in the morning.

All right, that's it.

You and me are going to throw right now pies on, right now.

I had it with this mook. Hey, I got no beef with Dirty Willie. I got no beef

with you, Dixon.

Mona asked me for help. She said that Dirty Willie was getting squeezed by a

couple of goons by the name of the Frost Brothers.

The Frost Brothers?

The Frost Brothers.

Now, I got my finger in every casino in this whole town. I never heard of these

guys.

Okay? So that's it. That's all I know. All right? Are we done? Are we done?

Let's go.

Let's go.

Give me my balls.

Room service.

I was just talking to the manager. You won't believe what he was telling me.

what would that be, Mr. Brood?

Glad you could join us.

Center employees of opposite genders don't room together.

Just show him.

Taken by a security camera at McCarran International Airport.

It's Jared heading for the runway.

He skipped town.

Your theory isn't holding.

It's time to go home.

No, but the email said that he was going to be here. We have to stay.

Bruce, it's over.

No, I just... Talk to the manager. He took a reservation last night under the

name of Jared Siegel. As in Bugsy Siegel, the man who created Vegas? A

reservation doesn't mean he's going to show.

We're leaving. We're staying.

Did he just ignore us?

You want to barge in here and try and scare me? You go ahead.

But don't question my skills.

I'm not second string anymore.

I do a job, and I do it well. And if your paranoid minds can't take that,

you can go chase that photo.

Miss Parker and I will catch Jared.

You better hope we catch Jared while we're through.

You mean us? I mean our necks.

As Argyle and I drove back to Banny's, we knew that without the mysterious

Brothers, there was no Mona and no dream for Argyle.

But Argyle's dream wasn't the only one in jeopardy.

Bastards! All of them. What happened? There I am. I am standing there in the

bunker. I am halfway into my overture, and they grab me.

Wayne's bodyguards. Oh, bite your tongue. Wayne's people would never do

with a rake. It was those lowlifes that worked for the other half of Wayne's

threesome. Those musicians with the big hair.

It's a good thing they didn't bring their tigers, boy.

Shoot. So Wayne never heard your song?

No. And I know he would have loved it. He would have loved it. Of course he

would have.

What's the matter with him?

We haven't found Mona yet.

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy.

It's always a girl, isn't it?

Let me let you in on a little tiny secret.

He's just exactly like me.

No. Oh, yes.

I was wild. I was unchecked until my Adele attained me.

I still remember that trip to Vegas. We wanted to get away from it all. Dr.

Canepa had told us that we wouldn't be able to have a family, and I know it was

really tough for her.

But Mayadella, God, she looked so beautiful the night we went to see

You never saw a polka dot dress like that in your life.

Well, Big Wayne, he picks her out of the whole crowd.

and he sang Donka Shane right to her.

It was like a dream.

Yeah.

That night, Adela came back to the motor court, all giddy from Wayne's show, you

know, and we drove the cattle across the prairie all night, longing to catch my

meaning, and we were blessed.

You can see Dargyle rolled a hard eight.

So now, when I see him going through all this, I think, where would I be today

if it weren't for my Adela?

She was your Mona.

Jared, you gotta find that girl for my boy.

It seems everybody who met Mona wanted her.

Argyle, her brother, Pelzone.

It got my detective ears spinning.

Look, buddy boy, I followed her home once.

Okay, twice.

Nick had known everything about Mona.

Where she lived, how she saved her money.

Maybe he knew who the Frost Brothers were.

But I swear I never heard of the Frost Brothers.

It was almost a dead end.

Almost.

Takes it. Deputy Wyatt hadn't punched me the first time we met. Guess he figured

I was doomed.

Oh, this is getting really old.

He tried to destroy three months of real police work.

We almost got Falzone for extortion.

So get him. After you talk to him?

You of all people should know there's only one way to do things in this town.

The Vegas way.

What about the Frost Brothers way?

What's that place got to do with anything?

Place? Place?

Place. Place.

There's an abandoned meatpacking plant outside town.

So what?

It's so cold. Let's get you out of here.

Argyle, these two guys, they had masks on. They grabbed me. They've been trying

to get me to tell them what Dirty Willie told me, but I can't tell them the

secret. I can't do that to Willie.

Well, you could tell us the secret, Mom. Tell us later. We have to get out of

here right now.

Yeah, we need to get you back to your brother.

Brother? I don't have a brother.

Turn it up.

Two of them.

Argyle, say hello to the Frost Brothers.

It was a case to make Ray Chandler proud.

Let's review.

Our two sheriff deputies, Wyatt and Mike, they killed Dirty Willie.

Tortured him.

Froze him.

Hung him.

But what do they want out of him?

Money? Do -re -di?

You won't be surprised if I tell you the answer is no.

Dirty Willie had one dirty little secret left.

And these guys were trying to get it out of Mona.

And us.

It's been eight hours.

Start talking.

I got nothing to say. You just don't get it, do you, Dixon?

We do things the Vegas way.

Now, Mona's brother here is going to drive her into the desert.

If he isn't here for me in 30, she's gone.

And I ice the two of you.

And I keep the dog.

I don't give him anything, Argyle.

Not one quarter.

Don't put a sock in a dog.

That was a strange thing to say. Yeah, right. Especially since dogs don't wear

socks. Not dog. Mona.

She said not a quarter. Don't give them one quarter. Okay, man.

Mona left a bucket full of quarters in Dick Dixon's office.

Dirty Willie's secret.

Whatever he was trying to protect must have been in that bucket.

Wyatt!

Hey, what the hell are you doing? I'm going to give him what he wants.

Wyatt!

No one wasn't extorting money from Willie and his club. You were. And the

fat boy recorded me doing it. All the time you just wanted that tape and it

right there.

Nice work, detectives. Willie was just trying to get that tape to Dick Dixon.

now you got it. Call your deputy and let Mona go.

Poor Willie didn't even know that Dick Dixon had skipped town.

Wait a second.

You're not Dick Dixon?

No.

Loser.

You know, you could be protecting people, not extorting from them.

But I guess that's what they call the Vegas way, right?

Oh, yeah. Well, we both know that.

Let's try the Jared way.

No, no, no!

It's only whack. You don't know the half of it.

They're going to make a call.

They're going to let Mona go.

I don't think so.

Loser!

Ooh,

that's harder than golf.

You're out of your mind.

Make the call.

No. Oh, loser.

Last chance.

Close that.

Okay.

Four!

Wyatt finally made the call.

And so did I.

To the FBI.

When they arrived at the office, they found a killer waiting for them.

Along with the evidence to convict him. All courtesy of the mysterious Richard

W. Dixon.

But the story isn't over.

I still have one more job to do.

Anything? Nothing.

Which is what we're going to be when we get back to the center.

One more laugh, then.

I'm not a scrub anymore.

I hope you like Renewal Wing, because I'm getting you a gift certificate.

The center re -educators can wipe this entire weekend from your brain.

Well, you'd better tell them that Brutes caught me.

Don't have to.

We're a team, aren't we?

Dr. Funkenstein.

Well, that all depends on one thing, baby.

Am I your pop daddy?

Oh, yeah, baby. And I want to get fucked.

Oh, I have to watch?

You get to watch.

I'll tell you what.

If we're going to do this, let's do it right.

My turn to live out a fantasy.

Bald men have always driven me crazy.

And it takes more than one to really satisfy me.

Mr. Wiggles, get in here.

Jim, I want the ball.

I want the piggy bump, y 'all.

Make my funk the P -Funk.

No.

Miss Parker, what about us? I want to get

funked up.

No. No.

No!

I told you not to fall asleep.

I was asleep?

Yeah.

The whole time?

Yes, Rip Van Winkle. You were making weird noises, too.

By the way, what exactly is a puff daddy?

Like I said, I have one more thing to do.

But it isn't this dream.

It's somebody else's.

Can I help you with that?

Well, I... Oh, God.

Oh, God.

If you knew, sir, how much I want it to me.

This is an honor, sir. This is an honor.

Third row.

polka dot dress.

Sir?

Adela. She was wearing a polka dot dress.

You are a god.

Listen, I understand there's something you'd like me to hear.

Well, as a matter of fact, you probably wouldn't want to.

I'd love to. You would? I would.

Okay, here we go.

Auf Wiedersehen, baby.

Auf Wiedersehen.

It means goodbye, my baby. I don't know why I feel this pain.

It's not my goiter, but let's reconnoiter.

So even though I'm on that far -off desert in Morocco, I'm feeling Rocco,

want...

It was unmistakably you.

That's just the first verse. There's more to come.

I cannot wait.

Listen, I want to see you all tonight at my show. You'll be my guest. I'll leave

your names at the front door.

And by the way, I want you to know that Adela was my inspiration, too. Oh, thank

you, sir.

Thank you. See you. See you later.

What a guy.

Thank you.

Pleasure.

That could be the worst song I've ever heard. I know.

But to him, it was a dream come true.

Guess it mean a lot to you, huh?

He listened. He liked it. Standing room only, Pop.

Speaking of a lot, thank you for that donation.

It was for a good cause.

You know, I don't think I ever got your name.

Well, everyone in town calls me Dick Dixon.

You're Dick Dixon?

Yes.