Original subtitles

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Scheme Singh.

He is our Master Sandeep Singh.

With love or hatgreen people call him Master Scheme Singh also.

Because this person thinks of schemes to become rich overnight.

Though he is my tenant but has not given me rent even for a month.

Whatever money I have saved by not getting trapped in any of his schemes.

I think that as my rent.

I cannot remove them because his wife and mine are very good friends.

On some days he throws two newspapers but today he has not even thrown one.

Dear, did you see today's newspaper?

Dear!

First send the girl here and then I shall give you bag full of newspapers.

Nowadays children watch so many films

that though it is morning but their climax does not get over.

Barkat, the goons have opened the hands of the girl.

Open your eyes now.

Where is today's newspaper? Did you see it?

What is it, father? What has happened to newspaper?

Will newspaper get corona? I am finding to read it.

Why are you finding it early in the morning?

Newspaper is to be read in the morning. By evening it is a waste.

I could not find it outside. So, I came in to ask you.

Father, you had asked me to focus on studies.

I focus only on that.

I do not look at newspaper.

I change channel even if news is being shown on TV.

It is useless talking to you.

Money, dear, did you see today's newspaper?

I do not know. mother must be aware.

What will mother do of newspaper?

Father, mother was supposed to put mango pickle and that too on newspaper.

Your mother is uneducated.

She does not which newspaper is old or new.

I am not that uneducated. I know everything.

The newspaper

that is crumpled is old and the one that is folded and ironed properly is new.

Give me the newspaper.

What are you saying?

As if it is not a newspaper but a Sherwani.

889

13514...

the last number is 8 but we have 7

Because of one number we missed winning the lottery.

Our luck is bad. Nothing can happen of us.

I have lost lakhs of rupees today.

My mind is not working.

Father, will you tell me one thing?

No, I will not tell. Never.

Do you know how much loss have I suffegreen?

It is related to loss.

Didn't you a buy lottery ticket for Gill uncle as well?

-Yes. -Yes.

The ticket next to this one is with Gill.

If I have last number as 7 then the ticket with last number 8 is with Gill.

Yes.

Educated children are helpful. They remember things well.

Hold the newspaper.

I will try to trap Gill in my talks and get ticket from him.

If he gets trapped we will be lucky.

Listen, if he gives his lottery ticket it us, we will win lakhs of rupees.

What will they get?

Of course they will get.

We will gift them a beautiful crockery set.

I will be back.

Yes, Mr. Gill.

-Welcome. Greetings. -Greetings.

I was about to come and meet you. Have a seat.

Thank you.

Here is a small gift for you.

What was the need for such a small gift?

What do you mean?

I meant to say what was the need for a gift?

We are family and close to each other.

Gifts are for strangers.

You are right.

Keep this, dear. we will give it to a stranger.

What was there in this?

A fantastic, expensive crockery set. We will give it to someone else.

Mr. Gill, I had come to say...

I had given you lottery ticket the other day.

Yes, I won that.

You came to know.

Yes, yes...

I mean to say that you have come to know that you have won a lottery.

I am so happy that

-henceforth instead of 5 the monthly rental would be... -3

You must give Rs. 5,000

but instead of 5th of every month you can give on 10th.

We will not mind at all.

How are you feeling.

The only difference is that earlier I felt that 5th was too early

and now I would feel that 10th is too early.

Master ji, you did not tell why had you come?

I came here to tell you that if you need any help in counting the lottery money,

then I will help you.

They are not going to give cash but will transfer directly into account.

I can count money kept in account.

If you make me stand outside the bank, I can tell you how much cash is kept inside.

Master ji, money is not going to remain in bank.

My son has already booked a car.

Okay.

Uncle, I have booked a family tour as well.

Okay.

Mr. Gill, you must be remembering

that I gave you Rs. 100 to buy the lottery ticket that you have won.

How can I forget this?

Let me get the lottery money and I will return your Rs. 100

Very nice. Only Rs. 100.

Yes.

Okay, I will take your leave.

Okay, fine.

Give it to a stranger.

-Master ji. -Yes.

Henceforth whenever you buy lottery ticket,

buy one for me as well.

Okay.

Your hands are very lucky.

Yes, for others.

-Good-bye. -Good-bye.

Couldn't you keep the ticket that you gave them?

You should have given yours to them.

Did I know which ticket is going to win a lottery?

If the one I had won when given to him, even then I would be thrashed.

Lotteries are not won by tickets but by luck.

It is the woman of the house that brings in good luck.

Mine one did not bring.

I was very lucky.

But became unlucky when I got married to you.

I wish I had committed suicide rather marrying you.

This was not possible

because it is in your destiny that you will die after killing a person.

My mood is off.

We bought lottery ticket but they won.

All this is because of the game...

What does that mean?

I kept lottery tickets here and played this game...

That way I decided which ticket I will keep and which one will I give him.

That game cheated me.

Dare not play that game again.

It always causes problems.

What do you mean?

When we were going to get engaged, I received two photographs.

One of yours and one of another boy.

That time even I played the game keeping those two photos in front of me.

And your photo was finalized.

Now in the morning I see the wedding photo in front of me.

I curse that game every day.

Don't worry, Gogi.

You may have married a poor boy but will die as a wife of a rich man.

To hell with you.

Will I have to get married again in this age?

No, I will become rich.

We are fighting and arguing, do not make me laugh with this joke.

Laugh. No problem.

Everyone laughs at poor person. You may also laugh.

I am not in pain because I married a poor man.

But I am in pain because I married a very strange person.

Father...

Yes, dear. Come.

I want some money.

Talk about something else other than this.

Dear, I have taken cheque. You too get Google pay.

Money dear, there is some financial problem going on as of now.

Why do you say as of now.

Say that there is financial problem every time.

Father, if that is the problem every time then why did you name me Money?

You should have named me Tangi.

I named you Money to increase the money flow in the house.

But it did not happen that way.

I named elder one Barkat but there was no prosperity.

There is nothing in names.

Your grandfather's name was Khazaan Singh.

He had a tea stall outside the bank but did not have an account in the bank.

Father, I need Rs. 1000 means I need it.

I want to join dance classes.

What will you do by joining dance classes?

You will dance on head only.

So what? Children dance on father's head only.

Father, increase my pocket money as well.

The pocket money that you give is not enough for my pocket.

Dear, do not increase pocket money but greenuce the size of your pocket.

It is increasing day by day.

Father, I have started going to college now.

How long will I eat from others?

Eat till they give.

When they don't have problem. Why should you have?

You must be asking money for eating chow Mein.

I do not get money to eat poison.

Just say yes. I shall borrow money for you.

Father, increase my pocket money.

Do not complain later that I was found stealing somewhere.

Dare not get caught.

Yes.

You should not do stealing.

And if you do it then you should not be caught.

What will remain with you?

Hello, my dear father.

I am not talking about stealing in other people's house.

I would be stealing from your pocket.

Sister, steal Rs. 1000 for me as well.

Dear, which is the pocket that has so much money.

Dare not anyone touch my pocket.

Let my plan succeed and then dear,

the teacher will come home to teach you dance.

You are fond of Chow Mein? I will hire a chef for you who will cook it.

Gogi, I will open a shop of suits for you.

Don't sell any suit.

But get them stitched for yourself.

There will be no poverty. Enjoy life.

There is one good quality of your father.

Which one, mother?

he cooks up his talks very well.

Barkat.

Arsh, you?

Tell me.

Father told me to ask if water supply is proper in the house.

Go home and ask my mother about this.

Why do you ask me this in the middle of the road?

I thought your mother should not feel that I came home to collect rent.

No, your father has made it very clear

not to give rent to Arsh if he comes to ask for it.

Listen to me. Why are you calling me publicly.

If anyone sees then they become courageous.

No, I know your level.

Don't worry.

Don't follow me.

How many times have I told you to come early?

I go late so that your family does not have doubt on you.

I feel because of all this my family will start having doubt on me.

Sorry. I promise I will help when you have a boyfriend.

Looking at me, do you feel I will waste my time on boyfriends.

I don't understand why do people call it wasting time.

This is investment that would be of use in future.

Greetings, Aunty.

Greetings.

Again, you are late from college.

Aunty, economics class went on for long.

Madam was telling about future investments.

I am going.

Bye.

-Father. -Yes, dear.

Did you fall in love with mother first and then got married?

Or you married first and then fell in love?

Dear, love does not happen after marriage.

Then what happens?

Only children are born.

And once children are born, there is no scope for love.

So, you never fell in love with anyone.

He only loves himself and no one else.

Yesterday, you were saying that I only love food and nothing else.

It is not called love for food but lust.

Father, leave it. I don't think you can help me in any way in this matter.

A lion may grow old, but it is he who teaches his puppy how to roar.

A young one of a lion is called a cub and not a puppy.

Tell me

what will you do if you come to know

that the girl whom you love also loves someone else.

It is very straight. There is one jalebi in the plate.

Two hands are trying to reach it.

What will you do if you wish to eat Jalebi?

You will increase your speed.

What if the other hand is of MLA's son?

Okay.

Look around, there would be Gualb Jamun kept in some other plate.

Eat Gulab Jamun and get satisfied.

Or convince MLA's son that he should be eating

Gulab Jamun today and not Jalebi.

Father, can't we convince the jalebi

that she should not be eaten by MLA's son.

To convince Jalebi I must do friendship with Gulab Jamun.

What do you think?

I am thinking

whether I should order Jalebis or Gulab Jamun from Manchanda sweets?

-Mr. Gupta. -Yes.

Be careful when you sell scheme.

Because the other name of client is Scheme Singh.

Don't take tension.

-Come on. -Let's go.

Greetings sir.

Sir, we have a scheme.

I have more than you.

Sir, we have one but it is amazing.

With whomsoever we have talked in the colony,

they have suggested that there is only one person in this colony

who can understand our scheme.

-Did they call me intelligent? -Yes.

Bring the bed and sit.

Sit.

-Yes. -Sit.

Sir, tell me what is the biggest desire of a person once he crosses 45 years of age?

-You are thinking right. -You are thinking right.

The biggest desire of a person once he crosses 45 years of age is that

his stomach should not be seen.

You are right, sir. Insurance.

When did he say insurance?

That a person's stomach should remain inside.

Sir, think of something else.

Think, think... you are thinking right.

The biggest desire of a person once he crosses 45 years of age is

that when a man uploads his photo on Instagram,

women should send heart and appreciate.

Looking too young.

Very funny...

You are right, sir.

-But, we are talking about money. -Yes.

Regarding money everyone wishes

that the person whom you owe money should not come to ask.

You are right but I will explain.

Every person has a desire. I too have.

Every person who turns 45 desires of having a bungalow,

-car and 1crore in my bank balance. -Exactly.

And the biggest thing is that one of my desires is being fulfilled in November.

Which one?

I am getting 45 years old.

Good job.

Stop talking nonsense.

Tell me if you have a scheme to become rich overnight.

Sir, you need to loot a bank to become rich overnight.

Obviously, a bank has to be looted quietly.

Or we go to bank and ask people to dare not speak.

Sir, go to jail for 7-8 years and then come back home.

Yes.

Are you scaring me?

No, sir. We are not scaring you but explaining it to you.

The best way to become rich is insurance.

Insurance.

Do you think I am a fool?

Has anyone become rich by selling insurance?

For how many years have you been selling insurance?

8? years.

Am I blind? Didn't I see that you both came on one scooter.

How much rich have you become?

Exactly. We are trying to explain this.

You said the right thing, sir.

A person can get only commission by selling insurance.

But a person can become rich by buying insurance.

How?

But Life Insurance is beneficial.

After your death,

your family will get all the money.

My family is not ready to serve water to me now.

What will they do after my death?

If you have any scheme that is beneficial when I am alive.

Otherwise, put the bed where it was and go.

-We have one more scheme. -Sit on the bed. I can hear.

I mean we have some schemes of cash back.

If you are alive till 65 years of age,

then you will get all the money while you are alive.

Then you can enjoy life.

Do you think I would want to get golden teeth after 65 years of age?

There is only thing a person needs in old age. And that too costs Rs. 30

Tell me if you have a scheme for present time. Or get lost.

Listen to me.

-Sister-in-law? -Yes.

Call her.

We have few schemes for sisters-in-laws as well.

Keep quiet. If she comes to know that she will get money after my death.

Then tonight she will add poison to my food.

Is there petrol in the scooter?

-We got it full today. -Yes.

Start it and get lost.

Come again only if you have a good scheme otherwise don't show me your face.

Get lost.

Just think about it.

Yes, I will think.

I think a lot and will keep thinking after you leave.

Get lost.

-Shall we go? -Yes.

I shall put back the bed myself. You may go.

-Shall we go? -Let's go.

Let's go.

Come again if you have a good scheme or don't enter the colony.

I am the only one intelligent in this colony.

Who were these people?

These people were known to me.

They had come from work and wanted to stay here tonight.

I asked them to leave. I told then there is no place to stay here.

Get ready.

Your uncle is ready to come.

Ask him to leave in this way.

No, everyone cannot be asked to leave.

the one who was supposed to go have been asked to leave.

Those who wish to stay can stay.

Am I scagreen of uncle?

How can he stay?

You did not allow me to keep a puppy saying the house is small.

And now you will let a monkey like uncle stay.

Don't call uncle a monkey.

I know uncle looks different but...

Not because of his looks but because of his actions.

Gogi, he is old. How long will he live?

You can tie him with a chain at the door but should not enter the house.

I request you not to throw out uncle from house directly.

I will somehow ask him to leave.

I know about all your tricks and plans.

Uncle has created a new problem.

Greetings, uncle.

Greetings.

is your family fine, Master?

They are always fine. Nothing happens to them.

Why have you come?

I came by rickshaw till the turning and then walked ahead.

I did not ask the means but the reason of your coming.

Dear, I have very less time.

Okay, then you will not even have tea.

No dear, my life is less.

Now I will have tea in this house as well as breathe my last in this house.

Talk softly.

If your voice goes till kitchen

then the sound from kitchen will be like bursting of cylinder.

Doctor has told me that I will survive for few days.

That is about your life.

Tell me how long will you stay in our house.

Dear, I thought of spending last few days of my life with some near and dear one.

Okay. Good that you came uncle.

Tell me to whom shall I go and drop you?

-Only you are my near and dear one. -Greetings, uncle.

Greetings, dear.

Blessings can be given from far only like this.

Near and dear ones are your sons and daughters and not nephews.

Should I download children now?

You are my near and dear ones.

You know about us being dear, but don't you know about our poverty?

How can you stay here, uncle? You have a very bad habit of drinking.

You know that alcohol is not allowed in our house.

I have stopped drinking.

That is very good.

One ailment is over. You stopped drinking.

No. I have kept 3-4 bottles in village.

Get whenever you go.

That will be my support for remaining days of my life.

Uncle, that means you are going to stay here forever.

Yes dear, I sold everything and came here.

You have wasted your money from land and property in drinking.

There is nothing in the bank.

What was left to sell?

You stay in a rented house.

Dear, I had 250 empty bottles.

Selling those I earned Rs. 850.

Okay, Rs. 850.

You were carrying so much cash, so should have a gunman with you.

Dear, do not tease me but serve the old man.

Uncle, there is a big difference in our age

otherwise I would have served you well.

Our age is same so, be ready to be served.

Gogi, listen to me.

Sir, sir...

Sir, sir... Here he is.

-Sir. -Hello, sir.

Didn't you leave or have come again?

Sir, we had left but as promised brought another scheme.

Go away. I have another scheme at home.

My uncle has forcibly come home.

Sir, listen to my scheme.

Shouldn't I listen to him? Get lost.

Throw those people out of the house who are troubling you.

Why are you throwing us out?

A guest cannot be thrown out but this uncle of mine has few days of life left.

How can I throw him out?

When I came, he was searching on the mobile for a crematorium near me.

Are you going there walking on with GPS on?

We shall lift you and take you there.

What does that mean?

I mean that he is a sick man. He is about to die, so has come to us.

He was telling me that when he dies, will I serve Jalebis to people.

I assugreen him.

He asked me to order jalebis to taste and know which one will you serve.

One minute.

Is it sure that he will die in 10 days?

Maybe even before that.

This is what medical reports are saying.

-Mr. Gupta. -Mr. Handa.

Are you thinking the same as me.

I am thinking worse than you.

No, no, let us tell him.

Okay.

Sir, why don't you take insurance policy in uncle's name?

Once he dies,

before his prayer meeting the entire amount would be in your account.

No, I cannot think so cheap.

Even if I feel so cheap, how much money will I get?

Sir, you get insurance for one lakh and claim 1crore.

-What? -Yes.

Oh shit, dude.

Last month my aunt died for free.

Oh shit.

Before getting insurance of 1lakh, I will uncle's check-up done by doctor.

What if I get insurance and uncle starts recovering.

No, uncle, we must not show him to a doctor.

What if with doctor's medicine uncle starts recovering?

We shall get fake reports made for uncle's insurance.

he will not recover.

We will show him to our neighbourhood doctor, Sharma.

With his medicine no one has recovegreen.

He cannot eat food at night till he does not kill a person in a day.

If he comes out from someone's house

then people automatically go and start mourning in that house.

That someone must have expigreen here.

We convinced him.

Shall we make uncle's papers?

How long will it take to make uncle's papers?

In just one hour. We do not have to worship uncle.

-Thank you, uncle. -Congratulations.

It is only because of you brothers otherwise what can a person do alone.

I am so happy to meet you all.

We will do.

Speak, why don't you speak now?

So, your result is out.

-Yes. -What is it?

I have got 35 marks in Punjabi.

No problem, usually one gets less marks in 1-2 subjects.

He has scogreen the best marks in Punjabi.

Of course, he would get as Punjabi is his mother tongue.

If mother has spoken earlier, he would have scogreen good marks in all subjects.

Ask him that how much did he score in Math?

How much did you score?

No score in math.

Didn't you get result of math?

The result has come but I did not get marks.

How many times I have told you

that why don't you take tuition from your math professor?

-He will not teach me. -Why?

He got a minor attack, so doctor has asked him not to take any stress.

You tell me, from whom should he take tuition?

-Our Master's daughter? -Barkat?

Yes, she is very good in math.

Talk about this and let him take tuition from her.

I will talk to her.

His tuition fees can be deducted from rent.

Very good.

Father earns money and makes houses.

And son gets rent deducted in tuition fees.

Even a stingy father sells of his property to make his duffer child educated.

For you, only the rent is getting deducted.

Dear, did you notice that you called yourself duffer.

I called you stingy as well. Did you notice?

Barkat.

-Greetings, aunty. -Greetings.

Mother, aunty is here.

I am coming.

-How are you? -I am fine.

-Come and sit. -How are you?

You both sit and I shall get tea for you.

Today, I have not come alone.

I know along with my friend a land lady has also come.

But we refuse to give rent on 1st.

Along with being your friend, and a land lady, a mother has also come.

No problem aunty, I shall make 4 cups of tea, you both have a chit chat.

Make 2 cups of tea. This is just a way of saying.

Okay.

My son's math is weak.

Weak is not the word but he is too weak in it.

I want someone close to him teaches him.

But Master Ji teaches Punjabi.

I know that.

I am talking about Barkat.

Okay. Barkat.

Yes.

Dear, your aunty has come to talk about Arsh.

Are you ready with Arsh?

Mother, I am not of marriageable age yet.

I am not talking about marriage.

I am asking that are you ready to give tuition to Arsh?

Tuition?

What do you say, dear?

What will she say? It is yes from our side.

Go and get sweetmeat for aunty.

Aunty wants me to teach you math.

Yes.

-What do you want? -Whatever mother wants.

But I don't want to teach you math.

Teach me whatever you wish to. I am weak in all subjects.

Hello, I am not a teacher.

Why did you agree to teach me?

Because our mothers are good friends and my father pays rent late.

If you will not teach me then what will we do sitting for an hour here.

Do whatever you wish to.

Be on phone. Be on Instagram, Facebook and what's app.

Do whatever you wish to.

If nothing else, talk to your girlfriend.

I do not have a girlfriend.

Then why are you laughing. Sit and cry.

For this reason, I have come to you.

What do you mean?

Is Gagan your friend?

Yes.

Can she become my girlfriend?

Not at all.

If you help me, she can become.

Why should I help you?

Just think about it. Because of you a poor person will settle in life.

You and poor?

I am not poor.

I was talking about Gagan.

You are not decent as you look.

This is your greatness.

No, that time I was re-instated.

Last month I got freshly suspended.

Yes.

-Master Ji. -Doctor is here. I will call you later.

-Greetings. -Greetings.

Doctor, my uncle is very serious.

Very good. I don't like non-serious people.

Not that way. His health is serious. He is nearing death.

Then show him to a good doctor.

We consider you as a good doctor.

I forget that I am a good doctor.

Call the patient.

He is sleeping as of now.

Should I meet him in his dreams?

Wake him up.

Let's go and meet him.

-Let's go. -Come.

Show me your tongue.

Put it in.

Do you drink?

Call for it.

I understood.

His liver is not in a good condition.

What does it say?

It is in bad condition.

I kept liver in my stomach for 60 years and it is now in bad condition.

It was better to be without liver.

Master ji,

if his treatment does not start then he will not survive more than 8-10 days.

What if my treatment starts?

Then you can survive for 14-15 days.

Amazing.

By studying for 6 years, you have just increased 5 days.

Doctor, you may leave. You must be getting late.

No, I am not in a hurry.

I receive phone of 1-2 patients in 10-15 days.

Signal is weak here, may be that one patient is calling you.

I suggest you leave on time.

Okay.

Come, sir. Is the bag yours?

-Take it with you. -Yes.

It can be of use ahead. Come.

Come.

Okay, sir.

Master Ji, when do you want his treatment to start?

Not treatment, doctor. In just wanted to get his check-up done.

We will avoid treatment.

What do you mean?

I mean to say prayers work more than medicine.

We will offer prayers for a month and then see.

Master ji, have you ever thought of getting your treatment done?

No, I will take my own name in prayers as well.

Okay. I thought only I am a fool.

But there are more foolish than me.

Great. You are giving good service to uncle.

Doctor is being called home for check-up.

Will anyone tell me what is happening here?

Not check-up.

I just called doctor to get confirmed that uncle has only 8-10 days of life.

What do you mean?

I mean that uncle said his doctors saw reports and said

that he has only 8-10 days of his life left.

Why?

I am going to take an insurance policy in the name of uncle.

That of 1crore.

We must pay a premium of 1lakh and in 8-10 days uncle is going to die.

As soon as uncle dies, we will get 1crore.

As soon as uncle dies, we will get 1crore.

Here sir, your uncle's insurance policy papers are ready.

Make uncle realize that he is going to die.

He might get well after being emotionally strong.

No!

I would sit near him and sing a song...no one is going to stay forever.

It is just a life of few moments.

Then consider that uncle is gone.

That is the case. Before giving bath to uncle, I should get the claim.

I have taken loan from bank to get uncle's insurance.

Otherwise the soap I would apply on dead body would pinch me.

Don't worry sir.

As soon as uncle dies we will start the process.

This is about uncle.

We have an old gardener who smokes a lot and is old.

I stop him a lot not to smoke. I want to get his insurance done.

Just as he smokes, it would be great if he dies soon.

Sir, you can only claim for your relatives.

That too is a problem.

My father-in-law is also unwell but my brothers-in-law are very clever.

My investment in insurance would go waste if they do not give me share in claim.

Listen, I have another uncle...

Sir, go slow.

the way you are trying to finish your family, our company will become bankrupt.

Let the relatives die slowly, slowly.

Okay, let us begin from uncle and then slowly work will increase

Congratulations.

Congratulations.

Congratulations.

Congratulations.

"People say you are a cheater. And follow others."

"You feel you are different from others in the world."

"The dreams that you see will not be fulfilled by talks."

"Scheme Singh, none of your schemes work."

"Scheme Singh, none of your schemes work."

"All people are waiting in this dreamland."

"They are waiting as to when will good days come."

"All people are waiting in this dreamland."

"They are waiting as to when will good days come."

"An accountant must be higreen to count your excuses."

"Scheme Singh, none of your schemes work."

"Scheme Singh, none of your schemes work."

-Hi. -Hi.

You have helped me a lot.

If I had a younger brother, I would have set your life.

No problem. Let me break-up with Gagan.

Next number is yours.

Why? Can't you handle two girls at one time?

Two are better than one.

You are right. Your friend is saying right.

She gets pimples on her face in summer and also vomits in car.

Go now. I shall meet you again.

-Bye. -Bye.

Sorry, dear. If I did not say bad things about you,

he would have got more impressed by you.

He keeps on asking about you.

No problem. Tell me that will you take math tuition from me?

I have started new tuitions.

This is great.

Under this excuse, I will be able to meet Jassi.

I will ask him to join too.

No. you must study seriously. You must come alone.

You know that I have no interest in studies.

Okay, then tell your family that why do you come late from college every day.

Okay, I will come.

Yes, dear. how is your tuition going on?

I am learning algebra.

This is the answer you should give to your mother.

Tell me about what I am asking.

Father, I am not comfortable in making you my Love Guru.

I will take guidance from someone else.

This is like you doing my personal insult.

Have you ever heard that Sachin Tendulkar's son

is learning batting from Rahul Dravid?

It is better if parents stay away from their children's love life.

I used to think the same, that is why till now I was away.

Tell me, how is your love life going on?

You talk to a girl only when girl calls a wrong number.

When a child turns out to be useless,

then people say that his parents did not teach him anything.

Now I will teach you everything.

You have turned out to be useless, dear.

Give me one chance to rectify my mistake.

Okay.

According to your example I asked Barkat to tell her friend to join tuition.

Let us see what happens.

She must have told her, so now go and create confusion.

I don't think Gagan will come.

How do you know?

Because you are doing the same thing that I am doing for last two years.

Waiting for her. But I know Gagan is not going to come.

Do you think there is no difference between you and me?

the only difference is that you are intelligent and I am duffer.

Very good. Now look behind.

Hi.

Will there be only people in the class?

Yes. The less the students the more the privacy.

What is the need for privacy?

Are we going to study here or have a bath?

He meant I will be able to give more attention to both of you.

Me too.

Let me tell you that I am very weak in math.

Because of me your time is going to get wasted.

no problem. Two years have already been waste, two more months are fine.

I am not able to understand what you are saying.

Not in math but you seem to be duffer in general understanding as well.

What did you say?

Start the studies. Come on start studying.

Sir.

Hello, sir.

Sir.

-Mr. Gupta. -Mr. Handa.

Is there a confusion to the Lord Of Death?

Instead of uncle, did he take him?

Look, the stomach is moving.

Shake him completely.

Sir.

Greetings, sir.

Sir, you are sleeping and called us urgently.

Be seated.

Obviously I would be sleeping as I do not get to sleep at night.

Why sir?

All night I keep a watch on uncle, feeling that he would die anytime.

Sometimes he does not breathe for more than a minute.

We heave a sigh of relief.

And after a minute he snores loudly.

He snores loudly like a horse and would kill Yamdoot if standing close.

He makes terrible sounds.

Sir, have faith in God. Anyone who has come in this world is sure to die.

Brother, it is beneficial if he goes on time.

Sir, calm down. One day death will surely knock at the door.

Yes, it will. But I hope it does not take me being an easy target.

Our address is the same.

You must have noticed. He must have become weak.

No. every day he asks us to make new dish to taste.

And ask us what will we make on his prayer meet.

The way uncle's demands are increasing I think I must hire a chef for him.

It has just been a week he is here but his weight has increased by 3kgs.

Exactly. You keep a watch.

Does he have problem in walking?

-Who? -That of uncle.

No. yesterday a dog came to our house and uncle ran behind him with a stick.

He ran with such a great speed that uncle went out and the dog remained inside.

Even the dog was surprised.

Don't worry, sir.

Why shouldn't I worry? What is the reason?

The reason being that when the lamp is about to extinguish it flutters.

Same are the symptoms of uncle.

I feel someone is putting oil in this lamp.

This is not going to extinguish.

Do one thing. Cancel the policy and I shall return money of the bank.

No, sir. You still have 10 days margin.

You can change policy whenever you wish to.

Either cancel the policy or put my name in the policy.

I think not he but I will die now.

Sir, even Dr. Sharma is at fault.

He had said that he wouldn't survive more than 10 days.

And because of that we increased the amount of policy.

Will you have tea?

Yes, we will have.

Do one thing. Just to the right-hand side corner there is a tea stall.

You have tea and I shall call Dr. Sharma.

Should we go there and drink?

Yes, and come back on time.

Let's go.

This is a miracle. Your prayers have worked.

Uncle's liver is improving and better now.

Liver is better. What do you mean?

Did you plant a peach plant that has grown?

Strange. How can liver improve like this? Strange.

What can I do? It has improved.

I haven't put a new one in the body.

I request you to check carefully.

Maybe there is some misunderstanding.

I have checked it properly with hands and my eyes.

Close your eyes and check. May be there is some change in program.

What is this? It is like hold the knee and say that ear is fine.

How can you come to know by eyes that liver is fine?

Master Ji, the yield can be known from far.

This you are saying now.

Last time after seeing reports you had said that he is going to die in 8-10 days.

Cancel all the previous reports.

Okay.

If reports are cancelled then, so is policy.

Which policy?

It is our family policy.

Why are you interfering?

I had told you that network is slow in our house.

You could miss your emergency call. You may leave.

Master ji, I am receiving full signal.

Do we know more of our house or you?

There are some fake towers also around.

You may miss anyone's call. You can leave.

Does that mean I go?

Is there any other meaning to what I said?

-It means that I leave. -You may go.

Go. He is not going anywhere but you go wherever you wish to go.

What are you looking at? Haven't you ever seen me before?

I don't know which prayers of mine have been heard.

Sir.

Sir, you are sitting inside?

Did the doctor come?

What did he say?

the news is very inauspicious.

Congratulations.

Not this kind of news. It is inauspicious for us.

Doctor said that uncle's health is much better and he is improving.

From talking for about 10 days he is now saying 10 years.

Uncle will not go anywhere for 10 years.

-Mr. Gupta. -Mr. Handa.

How did this happen?

A person has control over birth...can get caesarean done.

But there is no control on death.

I got hold of multi vitamins bottle from under his pillow.

I don't know when did he go and buy it.

Secretly he is getting healthy.

I have taken the policy and he is playing policies with me.

There is another option for this. Murder.

But maybe you wouldn't like to go towards that side.

Maybe? How could you say that?

Do I look like a murderer from face?

Cancel the policy. I do not need it. Take away your policy. Cancel it.

Sir, we too have targets.

I do not know about your targets

but I sure you both will become my target.

Sir, policy cannot be cancelled like this.

Can't it get cancelled like this?

-It cannot. -Wait.

Whom are you calling sir? Whom are you calling?

Police.

Sir, what will police do in work of policy?

I will not talk about policy.

I will tell them that two goons entegreen my house and tried to touch my wife.

Sir, when did we touch your wife?

Brother, she does not let me touch her either.

But such allegations need to be put if a honest person has to be trapped.

One minute wait sir. One second.

Hurry up.

Here sir, your policy is cancelled.

I have cancelled the call as well.

Sir, you applied scheme to us.

You were applying a scheme to get policy done

and I applied scheme to get it cancelled.

I had told you that I have more schemes than you.

Congratulations....

-For what? -Uncle is dead.

After twelve years he came back with Taadi, we got policy done and uncle died.

Uncle is dead and we will get 1crore.

Uncle is dead.

Uncle is dead and we will get 1crore.

Uncle is dead and we will get 1crore.

One minute.

Let us also sing a song on uncle's death.

Yes.

After twelve years he came back with a pencil

After twelve years he came back with a pencil

Don't be so happy, the policy has been cancelled.

Don't be so happy, the policy has been cancelled.

Are you sleeping?

A person can have a sound sleep only in class and not with sleeping pills.

What happened, Gagan?

What did you do to her?

Before putting allegations on me for Me Too, ask her first.

I did not do anything.

He has not done anything. I am crying for some other reason.

What happened? Did your parents say something?

No, my parents did not say anything.

Jassi said something. He loves you.

I don't think you love him truly.

If you loved him truly then he wouldn't have loved anyone.

You are so nice.

If Jassi was not in my life, I would have hugged you now.

Consider Jassi out of your life.

You can hug me from one side. Hug me.

Hey, control your emotions.

You go and tell Jassi that forget about true love, you do not even love him fake.

Have some self-respect.

Father, what are you looking at so carefully?

Nothing, dear. I was finding horoscope.

Yes, find horoscope. One cannot find fruits in this house.

Have some patience. We have planted guava tree outside.

After three years it will bear fruits. Enjoy as much as you want.

Father, I learnt A for Apple in Nursery. That was the time I ate it last.

Relatives of people get fruits but we do not have any such relative.

Didn't your uncle get fruit the other day?

Yes, half kg Ber fruit and everyone ate two pieces.

One of them was rotten.

Dear, there is delay but not denial in our house.

One day this house will become prosperous.

Father, when I was of her age

I believed when you said that there would be prosperity here.

Enough.

Look, dear. it is clearly written in horoscope.

Good news can come from south.

-South? -South.

Today, you both will remain out and focus on south.

You must tell me if there is good news. Okay.

Father, slippers are kept on south, mosquitoes come that side.

-Dear, I have received message from South. -What?

I had received a fake TADA, that of 7,000/-

Disha madam called that 7,000/- has been passed.

Yes, but messages do not have any direction.

That it came from South. It has come from satellite, father.

Our Disha madam's direction is South.

She is Disha Subramaniam. She has come from South.

Father, buy me cycle with this money.

No, father. I want coaching for physics. I need money.

Neither will I buy cycle nor give you money for physics coaching.

I will invest 7,000/- in some business.

We will earn some profit...and more profit from that.

We shall earn more profit.

Father, do not speak more or otherwise I will start laughing.

7,000/- is like a small boy. We will nurture this child.

One day it will be converted in crores.

Don't just say anything.

Dear, don't laugh in serious matters. Understood.

We must save this child from evil eye.

That comes and picks up this innocent child.

Which evil ill, father?

Ther is one such in our house.

It even pecks in my pocket.

Father, look carefully, is that evil on your head?

No, dear.

What is going on?

I was telling children history of evil.

Mother, father had filled a fake TADA of 7,000/- and it has passed.

Yes.

I was praying to God yesterday.

And today He heard my prayers.

Not yours but God listened to my prayers.

Yesterday a salesman came to sell juicer for 6,800/-

I am surely going to buy that.

Have you gone crazy? What will you do of juicer in our house?

6800/- is its market price.

But to me he will give it for 6750/-

Strange.

Today you want a juicer and tomorrow you will ask me to get sweet lime.

-I will not tell you that. -Whom will you tell that?

That is the scheme. Buy juicer and you get sweet limes free for a year.

Have you gone mad?

Such people take advantage of people's innocence through sweet lime.

Don't be a fool.

You too do not try to smart.

Withdraw your Tada money and I want juicer at any cost.

Remove juice with your feet. What is she saying?

Forget about juicer but my procession will be out now.

I think you haven't read the horoscope properly.

Was it written there that good news will come for sure but will not stay for long.

Father, Jassi hurt Gagan. She was crying a lot.

People like you cry more than their wives during farewell in marriage.

-But. -No ifs and buts.

Whether cry or laugh but propose the girl tomorrow.

Do you think she likes me so much that she would say yes immediately.

She may like you or not but hates Jassi.

-She will surely say yes. -This would be cheating.

Dear, when you know that you cannot score marks with honesty.

Then it is better to do cheating than to fail.

Very good. Proud of you, Mr. Gill.

If you wanted you son to pass by doing cheating

then what was the need to keep tuition.

No, mother. He was not talking about cheating in exam.

He was...

Think before you speak.

Don't say anything that will make you repent later.

One minute. You tell me what you were saying.

Father was giving me tips to make a girlfriend.

Don't you feel ashamed?

No, I have become shameless.

And now shamelessly I will give tips to my son to set girls.

If you were so capable then would you beg in front of the middleman.

And now you are trying to be love guru.

I am scagreen that with so much belly fat, you may become fitness trainer in future.

Daljeet, the boy needs to be guided who does not understand the signals of girls.

Guide reminds me. Arsh, look around.

You will see an expert of girls in this house.

Your mother was pointing towards herself.

Didn't I say he does not understand signals given by girls?

You do not have any experience?

I may or may not have experience.

But I know the likes and dislikes of girls.

Mother, will you guide me?

-Of course. -Aren't you ashamed now?

If you can become shameless then why can't I?

Brother Tittu, brother Tittu...

Coming.

-Greetings, brother. -Greetings.

I am Master Sandeep Singh.

My wife must have told you about juicer.

Greetings. So, you are here?

I came to know that you sell juicer as well, brother Tittu.

I deal with everything.

Two hours ago, I sold two rabbits.

-Really? -I show what the customer wants.

-What is the rate? -That of rabbits?

No, that of juicer. What am I going to do of rabbits?

7000/- with box.

Without box?

For 7000/-

What is the point of box?

Nothing much. It looks good to say. It gives a good impression.

What have we to do of box?

Don't you have a cheap juicer?

Do you want the old fashioned one?

In which a woman rotates it for one and half hour for one glass of juice.

Are you extracting juice or my procession?

I have got 7000/- as bonus and if I buy juicer for same amount then...

I wished you greenuced the money and I could invest in some business.

Amazing. I like people who think about future.

Did you like me?

Yes, I liked you a lot.

-Let's sit inside and do the deal. -Come.

-Brother Tittu... -Yes.

I wanted eggs.

Come after half an hour.

Hens are resting now.

Close the door while leaving.

-Do you sell eggs as well? -Yes,

I sold a box of candles in the morning.

-Okay. -Come in.

Welcome, Master ji.

Have a seat.

How can you do so much work alone?

Do you think I was named Tittu just like that?

Actually my name is with single T but

I do so much work so people call me Tittu.

Tell me, are you wearing washed clothes?

What is the matter? Are they smelling?

That is coming but my subject is something else, Master Ji.

You must have worn it yesterday and day before yesterday.

Yes.

You will wear it once or twice more.

I wouldn't lie to you. I will wear it once or twice.

-But you must wash them. -Yes, they must be washed.

There must be other clothes to wear in the house.

Yes.

Brother, I have come to buy juicer.

Are you planning to sell washing machine to me?

Look, I am very much against washing machines.

If you wish to wash clothes in washing machine

then what is the point of marrying a woman.

That is why she ordegreen a juicer. She must have told you.

Master Ji, your juicer has come. It is in the kitchen.

The point is that you may not wash clothes for 2-3 days or for a week.

You can manage.

But Master ji, you need to wash utensils every day.

Yes, utensils need to be washed every day.

If a woman washes utensils with bad quality soap,

then that will damage utensils as well as woman's hands.

That will spoil her mood.

And if mood is bad that will cause bad environment.

Master Ji, 90% of divorce in the world are happening because of utensils.

What are you saying? How can utensils be linked with divorce?

Have you heard that two utensils in the house often bang against each other?

Two utensils in the house often bang against each other?

When do utensils bang against each other?

When they are washed?

This is the benefit of talking with an educated person.

Our company makes organic cow dung cakes with 7 qualities.

And a detergent powder made with ash.

Shall I write it somewhere?

Do not write it anywhere. Just learn it as I have done.

Washing utensils with this detergent and washing powder, your wife will dance.

She would fight with you that why don't you use the utensils.

Sometimes she would get up at night and say shall I go and wash two utensils.

You must sell this powder.

Where do I have to open the shop?

You need not open the shop. I will give you kit worth 7,000/-

You must make 4 members.

2 left and 2 right.

Further they must make 4 members.

In coming year, you will have a bungalow in Model Town.

Mr. Tittu, you are still in this colony.

This is nothing. I have prepagreen a plan of 2 canal of bungalow.

Okay.

I just need to buy a plot and construct a bungalow.

And in the centre, I would park an Audi car.

Amazing.

Mr. Tittu, can I also buy an Audi in future?

Audi is not a big thing. You must know how to talk and trap people.

I can talk and trap people.

I shall pay you 7,000/- online. Get my work started.

Come on scan the bar code.

Done.

-Payment received. -Madam has messaged.

Your money is received. Your work is done.

You sit here and I shall get kit for you.

The actual fun will begin now. To hell with juicer.

I will make my wife roam in Audi.

I shall pass through the colony honking.

Congratulations. You are very lucky.

-Really? -This was the last kit.

Here is your kit.

Thank you so much.

All the best.

You take rest and I will do work.

Gogi...hello, Gogi.

Yes.

Oh God.

Money and Barkat, come here.

Your father has brought juicer.

Now you need not drink juice at the juice stalls.

Now juice will be extracted at home.

Gogi, do not call children. I will be insulted.

What do you mean?

If I had brought a juicer it would not be in my pocket but kept somewhere here.

That means you did not get the juicer.

How did you come home?

I came on scooter and not on juicer.

I had brought fruits to extract juice.

And you brought dry fruit like face.

I have invited neighbours to serve them juice.

Call the neighbours, they might eat dry fruits.

Give me 10 days' time and juicer will come.

I have booked the juicer.

Don't fool me. Is it a juicer or thar that needs to be booked first?

Give me 10 days' time.

Maybe every member of the house has individual juicer.

What are you saying? Is the machine going to deliver small juicers?

Consider it that way.

I will not spare you.

Do not threaten me.

I shall give you 10 days' time.

After that either juicer will come home or you will leave home.

He insults me every time.

Don't worry, Gogi.

By grace of God

in ten days our entire family would be sitting on Goa beach drinking juice.

Thank you, father, and mother.

Today because of you I could become someone's boyfriend.

There is no need to give so much cgreenit to your father.

You were successful only when I intervened.

Do not get trapped in your mother's talks.

On your birth when people came to congratulate her,

she would say what is my husband's contribution in this?

Tell me. were you born without my contribution?

You did not bear the weight of child in womb for 9 months.

You bore for 9 months. But thanks to me for bearing it always.

You are just talking about 2.5kg and here I am bearing 2.5 quintals.

What are you saying?

Please, do not fight today. Today is a happy day.

But how will I sell Swaha Detergent?

You need to sell once in life and that to two customers.

Look out for a shy person who feels shy in refusing.

And look out for a relative

who cannot refuse you because of his relation with you.

Just sell to two members.

They will sell to two more and so on.

Relatives might say forget about detergent, you have washed me off.

In 7000/- you are getting two big boxes of Swaha Detergent powder.

You cannot get two big boxes of regular detergent in 7000/- Strange.

-Understood. -I did not understand anything.

Nothing? You may go.

Okay.

Oh God. I swear if I had taught children in school with so much hard work,

no child would have failed.

Nothing will happen of this nation.

Where people do not value Swaha, what else will they know.

What are you doing?

I was checking your pulse.

I thought you were holding my hand.

We are girlfriend and boyfriend. I can hold your hand.

Okay, if you are so stubborn then you can hold it.

Otherwise I am very shy.

Feeling shy will not work. We will do romantic talks as well today.

Okay, let's do.

Romance.

Break up.

You may do break up but don't let me hold your hand.

Can't we remain as good friends?

Why? What is lacking in Jatt?

There is nothing lacking in Jatt but I want more.

Do you understand what I mean by more?

Leave it. How will you understand?

I have money, bike, respect, dignity in college.

If I propose any girl, no one will refuse.

I just need a girl to do romance.

Okay, give me some time.

But why?

What do you mean by why?

Just think that I had just had tea and you are asking it to me again.

I still have the taste of first tea in my mouth.

My Lipton tea did not work

Dear, I had thought that when you have a girlfriend,

you face will be beaming with joy.

But you don't seem to. What is the matter, dear?

Father, what does more mean?

It means peacock.

Father, not this one.

But what the girls want.

the way they say, I want more. That one.

This more is something that makes a man's life difficult.

What do you mean?

This is that more which no girl has got yet.

And every girl wants it.

Boys think that why don't girls tell what is more that they want?

Maybe any boy gets it.

I understand you. They do not give any clear instructions.

One day they will say that boy should be simple.

Next day they would say that boy should be naughty.

One day they will say that the boy should earn a lot but gives full time to family.

Whatever the boy says should be stern but also know how to talk nonsense.

Boy should be solid but flexible.

He should be practical but adventurous.

He should confident but not egoistic.

He should take care like a father but should be careless like a child.

He should make one laugh all day but should not be a joker.

They do not need a boy but Shah Rukh Khan.

That too not in one role. They need all his roles in one life.

This is what they mean by more.

Master ji, tell me what is this?

According to me it is an umbrella.

It is just a point of view, Master ji, point of view.

You think it is umbrella and I feel it is an arrow.

An arrow always go upwards.

Why always upwards? If you aim it downwards, it goes downwards.

That is the difference between you and me.

Always aim it upwards and not downwards.

Do you know Avtaar Singh Cheema?

I think I have heard about him.

Avtar Singh Cheema was the first Indian to climb Mount Everest.

What connection does he have with this?

What is the first thing needed to be successful?

Mount Everest.

Not Mount Everest, Master ji.

Courage is the first thing needed to be successful.

You seem to have lost courage before time.

Shouldn't I lose?

The eye liner seller does not shout so much in buses as I have done.

Buy this Swaha detergent.

People shout at me.

They say that they would get free it free from the sweetmeat makes

rather than spending 7,000/- on a kit from me.

Master ji, there is a rule in business that never let your emotions die.

And the family may die of hunger?

How can they die?

I am giving you in writing that on 3rd November,

2025, I am buying a Ferrari.

What happened about the Audi that you were supposed to buy in January?

Master ji, always dream big.

And the previous ones might not get fulfilled.

To hell with previous ones.

When you came to me for the first time, I was dreaming of buying Audi.

Today my dream is to buy Ferrari.

Shall I ask you something? You seem to be fond of cars.

Yes.

From which model did you start your fondness?

Maruti 800

You have progressed amazingly.

Only two cars are left above this.

Don't talk much but make members.

The more members you make, the more your business will flourish.

I will not let my business drown.

I have already had many businesses that did not flourish.

I am suffering.

I will make sure this business flourishes.

Even if I have to go in lanes shouting for sale.

Buy amazing Swaha.

Wash utensils. But amazing Swaha.

-Fine. -Done.

I will go and make members.

-Keep motivating me. -All the best, brother.

Thank you.

He has irritated me a lot.

Hello, why are you so quiet?

You've had friendship with whom you wanted.

Yes, may be.

May be?

I don't understand whether she has become my girlfriend

or Sarpanch of the village.

She has put restrictions as soon we met.

What happened?

She said not to talk anything romantic with her.

Don't hold her hand. Am I sitting desperate here?

Become desperate.

If you will not romance with your girlfriend then with whom will you do?

No, that is not the case. Maybe she wants to become close slowly.

Why slowly? With Jassi she was very fast.

Please, do not share details with me.

Why can I change the girl, is she feels shy?

If you cannot change the girl. Then it is better you change the girl.

Listen to me. Gagan is a nice girl but do not dance to her tunes.

I can never dance to her dirty signals. Never.

Why?

Because I do not know how to dance.

it is better you study.

Tell me.

Nothing. I just wanted to ask why are you eating groundnuts?

Because I brought groundnuts.

No, you are not eating because you brought it.

You are eating groundnuts because you did not get almonds.

You cannot buy almonds.

How can a poor person buy almonds?

A poor person can only look at a rich person eating almonds.

Tell me one thing.

Till when will a poor person look at the rich one eating almonds.

Till when will he eat and enjoy eating groundnuts?

A rich person forgets where he kept 2kg almonds?

For a poor person if his groundnut falls,

he will come out of quilt in winter to find it among the skis.

Just as a mother finds her child in a fair.

He may get Pneumonia but will not let go of groundnut?

Till when will you follow peanut money?

Think big.

Master ji, my groundnuts are getting over.

When will you finish your talk?

Buy more groundnuts. Our conversation will go on for long.

I want you to become rich.

I too want that but only wishing for it is not enough.

Don't worry, brother. I have come and will make sure to make you rich.

How?

-Actually our company makes... -Other's fool.

No, not fool. Listen to me carefully.

Our company makes pure detergent

powder made from organic cow dung.

Which is unorganic cow dung? Will you tell me that?

Our company serves that fodder to animals which is chemical free.

The organic cow dung that is made is handled by thousand workers of our company

after washing hands with sandalwood soap.

In this way pious cow dung cakes are made.

Then these pious cow dung cakes are burnt in furnace.

Then from that silky ash a detergent powder is made.

You may not use this detergent powder.

You just have to make members to sell it.

You become a member, then two on this side and two on the other side.

In the same way they too will make two members and so on...

Brother, has company explained you all this?

What do you mean?

You have been asked to say all these things.

Yes, how did you come to know?

I have been talking this nonsense to people.

The same company.

Look at the plot behind. I used to have a house there.

The people whom I asked to invest in this company by becoming member,

They even removed the bricks.

Only this ash remains.

Master ji, I will give you an advice.

Forget this business and pay attention to teaching.

Otherwise, you will lose teaching as well as your wife.

Should I consider it a no?

It is better if you understand it as early as possible.

Okay. Shall I take some groundnuts? Okay.

"People say you are a cheater. And follow others."

"You feel you are different from others in the world."

"The dreams that you see will not be fulfilled by talks."

I had given you ten days' time and today is the 12th day.

Has anything happened?

Yes, no...I don't know what has happened?

What are you whispering? What happened of the juicer?

Yes, no...I mean I don't know.

-What do you mean? -I mean juicer is getting ready.

Has it gone to beauty parlor to get ready?

It comes packed in boxes from the factory.

I told Tittu to give juicer.

He isn't giving.

Is there a strike in the market?

You could have bought from somewhere else.

Yes, you can get from market.

But the shopkeepers said

that if we wish to buy a good juicer then that should be bought from Tittu.

Really?

If something happens to Tittu in future, then will people stop drinking juice?

Don't worry. If I do not get from Tittu then I will get from Bittu.

-Who is Bittu? -He is Tittu's brother.

People buy juicer from Bittu if they do not get from Tittu.

And vice a versa. Consider Bittu and Tittu to the same.

Come with me to Shekha Bazar. We will get from Nittu.

And he is not their brother.

We can buy from Nittu as well.

But Tittu and Bittu are better than Nittu.

You stammer when you have wasted the money.

Tell me where have you spent money?

-Believe me... -Don't say lies.

I have invested money somewhere.

What does that mean?

I have become member somewhere.

Just as I have become member, I must make 4 members more.

And they further must make 4 members each and so on...

Stop talking nonsense.

Gogi, the day there are 80 members, we will get a cheque of 10,000/-

And then we will get it continuously.

I will call up my brother.

No, your brother will not become a member.

He is very stingy.

Not to become a member.

But to tell him to take me from here with children.

No Gogi. I have already made 2 members and now only 78 remain.

I will get that made as well. What is the emergency of a juicer?

Day after tomorrow, I have arranged kitty party of ladies

and have asked which juice they like.

These ladies do not drink juice.

Get two packets of Rasna. Mix and serve them.

Get out. Come on get out.

Do not enter house without a juicer.

"Your scheme is good but none works."

"Your scheme is good but none works."

What is the matter? Why is there crowd here?

We have come to meet Tittu.

Tittu is very busy.

You wish to become member. I shall make you one for that Swaha detergent.

The silky Swaha of sacgreen ash.

The one that is made from organic cow dung.

Pious cow dung cakes.

How do you know all this?

He has cheated us.

Swaha worth 20/-, he sold to me for 3000/-

he cheated me for 4,000/-

He sold the same Sw1aha to me for 7000/-

What is the matter? Isn't Tittu coming out?

He is not inside.

We all standing here so that he does not go inside.

Okay.

"People say you are a cheater. And follow others."

"You feel you are different from others in the world."

"the dreams that you see will not be fulfilled by talks."

"Scheme Singh, none of your schemes work."

"Scheme Singh, none of your schemes work."

"All people are waiting in this dreamland."

"They are waiting as to when will good days come."

"All people are waiting in this dreamland."

"They are waiting as to when will good days come."

"An accountant must be higreen to count your excuses."

"Scheme Singh, none of your schemes work."

"Scheme Singh, none of your schemes work."

Mother, father, I have decided that henceforth you both are not needed.

Does that mean, we will no longer be your parents?

No. you will remain my parents.

That means we will be your parents,

take care of expenditure and food, but we are not needed in your love life?

Yes.

Tell me that will you able to understand more that Gagan wants?

What I have to do with her more when I do not love her anymore?

Idiot, learn from your father.

I at least loved your mother till marriage.

After marriage he fell in love with potato Paratha, and became co-wife of paratha.

You are always behind my potato paratha but will never ask your brinjal like son.

Tell us what the matter is.

the matter is that if Gagan wants more then I want some else.

What do you mean?

I mean that if the tuition teacher is so beautiful

then why should I love the other student.

Very good. If I tell your mother on Tuesday

that I don't want to eat Khichdi on Thursday...

She says plan cannot be changed so quickly.

And you have planned to change the girl.

Just think that Gagan did not like you then how will Barkat do.

Does that mean now you are in love with Barkat?

-Yes. -I feel like giving you a tight slap.

Being a tenant Master ji does not give rent

then why would he give after being our relatives.

I do not know that but my plan has changed now.

Just think about this. If Master ji comes to know

that you are trying to woo his daughter.

He will stop the tuition.

Amazing. You said that your mother cannot give a good advice.

I did not understand.

If a family knows that their daughter is having an affair at the tuition.

They will stop the tuition.

I heard this before but still did not understand.

My son is very slow.

If Gagan's family comes to know

that she is having an affair with a boy in tuition classes.

Then they will stop sending her.

Here, drink this as well.

No, no...I drink less tea.

I have seen how less tea you drink.

Master ji, for you, tea is enough but my children eat food as well.

What do you mean?

I mean to say that shall we talk if there is something important.

Do you think I came here just to have tea?

The thing is that presently the condition of the house is very bad.

You will not believe that lunch and dinner in my house comes from Gurdwara.

I can believe that by your actions.

You get food from Gurdwara and tea you have from here and there.

-What do you want in life? -You seem to be joking, Mr. Saini.

Give me a way that will make me rich overnight.

Change your name from Sandeep Singh to Ameer Singh.

You will become rich overnight.

What are you talking? By changing my name, I will not become rich.

It doesn't look good if my name is Ameer Sigh and my motorcycle is broken.

Tell me some other way.

Show some courage.

-Do you have an ATM close by? -Yes.

Break through the ATM and loot money and you become rich.

As and when I open the ATM, the police is going to thrash me.

Tell me a simple and sober way to become rich.

Sober scheme? I have that as well.

Buy a disputed land at lower rate, take control of it.

Sell it at higher rate and become rich.

This is great and to the point. You have given me a good suggestion.

For how much can I buy a disputed land?

I have a disputed land in mind.

It is worth 2crore and can be sold for 1.25crore.

1,25crore?

Don't you know of a property which is of lesser amount? Less disputed.

I understood, Master ji. You came here to have tea.

I beg of you to leave from here.

Before we start fighting.

No, no...fight...

-Drink this as well. -No, no...

To hell with him.

Where is today's horoscope?

Here it is.

Disharmony in the house can increase.

What is new in this? It never greenuced.

Expenses will increase.

From where? Only if I have money, it will increase.

Do not travel.

As we had prepagreen already.

Your planetary condition can worsen.

Here it is.

Here comes the bad planetary condition.

Tea for you.

You only brought tea? You should have brought biscuit with it.

Thank God that you are getting tea.

I have kept biscuits for guests.

Stupid, we never have guests.

Consider me as your guest.

Consider me as your aunt's son.

Gogi, get biscuits with tea.

Have some shame. Just for a biscuit you are ready to become my brother.

Tell me one thing. Did you give the rent?

Yes, I had given rent. Consider it that way.

What do you mean by consider it that way?

Have you given or not.

I had almost given.

I was ready to go and pay the rent when Bunty came.

He started crying that his daughter is unwell.

So, I gave the money to him.

-Bunty has a son. -I forgot, his son is serious.

Bunty's son was playing marbles in the lane.

They must have been to a good hospital that he recovegreen so soon.

If this was your behaviour then why did you marry me.

If you are talking of marriage then remember the teaching given by the man

who performed marriage rituals.

Dear, you must support your husband all the time.

You must support him in bad times.

If need be you must stay in a small house with me.

Whatever he said is not far. That condition is also going to come soon.

I don't know when will our good times come.

They will come. Don't lose hope. They will surely come.

I do not know about good times

but if Gill comes to get rent I will not be able to give excuses.

Why should you give excuses to Gill? I will give.

Has it ever happened that I haven't trapped Gill in my talks?

I can easily trap you in my talks.

Really?

That day is not far when he will throw our things out.

Which one? There is nothing that belongs to us here.

We brought our things in a rickshaw and will take it back on cycle.

Our things have greenuced and not increased.

Otherwise why would Master Scheme Singh take this well-furnished house on rent.

I feel bad for him.

Neither do you give rent nor another tenant who is a lawyer gives him rent.

Nor does he leave the house.

Whenever he goes to ask him for rent, he leaves his dog open.

Forget about the rent.

The scheme of dog did not come in my mind.

We should also keep a dog.

Don't take tension.

I have another scheme in m y head.

Which one?

I will tell you.

Mrs. Master Scheme Singh, you will be proud of me.

Mr. Gill, we have tradition to make a guest seated.

We have a different tradition.

We first look at the person and then ask him to sit.

Master ji, be seated if you have come to give rent.

If you have come to give an excuse, then give one and leave.

Why do you always talk about rent? Where will you take so much money?

The shroud does not have pockets. You will not take anything with you.

Master ji, the amount of rent that is due will not be fitted in pockets.

Give rent. I shall take bags with me.

Forget about rent. I will tell you a scheme.

Master ji, schemes are not enough to live a life.

It cannot be lived without schemes as well.

I will tell you.

You made this office around 2 years ago.

You still have no idea what to do in this office.

This is the first office

in the world whose 2nd anniversary has been celebrated

but no one knows what is done in this office.

You are right.

While decorating with balloons on

anniversary I feel why am I putting them.

I do nothing.

Now, I am here. I will tell you a scheme.

I will help you earn profit.

Mr. Gill, sell you Deep Nagar house.

How can I sell that house?

The lawyer has control over it.

We can sell only if he leaves the house.

This is the business that I have started.

I buy the disputed houses and sell them further.

Tell me, at what amount would you want to sell the house.

the price of that house is around 2.5crore.

I shall sell it in 2crore.

Amazing.

Believe it or not I brought the cheque of the same amount.

Here is post-dated cheque. Okay.

I have a customer.

You do the registry in the name of the customer.

The day I ask you to deposit the cheque, the money is yours.

Master ji, I will get the registry done but the law is very strict.

If this cheque fails, the registry stands cancelled.

You will go behind bars and the customer will lose the registry money.

I will not let the customer pay anything.

I am spending on the registry amount.

Investment.

The customer will take over the house.

And the money would be yours.

Commission?

-Belongs to you. -No.

In the hands of my wife.

Pick up the phone. It must be Gagan's.

Hello.

Barkat. Mother is asking me not to continue with tuition.

-Why? -She has received a letter saying

that your daughter will be kidnapped from tuition today.

Who can it be?

Who else but Jassi.

Barkat, I may be able to learn Math or not but Jassi should come back in my life.

Call me once Jassi comes.

I will lock mother in her room and come.

Apologize to Arsh.

Tell him that the true lover took away the bride.

Okay.

What happened?

It was Gagan's call.

She said that she will not be coming for tuition anymore.

From today, your romance is over.

Let's se.

You teach me math and leave romance on me.

May I come in, mam?

Gagan does not study here anymore.

Forget about here, she does not study anywhere.

But I have come to learn math from you.

I will not teach you.

Studies will continue...

I want to inform you

that I have given advanced fees to Master Ji

and have also taken his blessings.

He has told me to be successful in my purpose.

Okay. No problem.

I will teach you math in such a way that you will forget about romance.

Just teach math and leave romance to me.

Do you know Jassi has joined Barkat's tuition class?

No problem, dear.

Maybe he is really interested in tuition.

He had said long back that his interest was in Barkat.

How cheap are those people

who try to woo a girl under the pretext of tuition?

Why are you making your son ashamed?

Our son was also trying to woo a girl under the pretext of tuition.

This fool does not know whom to fall in love with.

Every other day he is in true love.

Mother, tell me what should I do.

Dear, are you sure Gagan is not your true love?

Yes, I am sure. Now Barkat is my true love.

Why are you scagreen?

My son, go to Jassi with full confidence and courageously request

that you cannot live without Barkat.

Jassi belongs to a rich family.

Yes, he is MLA's son.

Forget Barkat.

Let us take marriage proposal to Gagan's house.

What kind of parents are you?

Rather than giving me confidence, you are demotivating me.

We are not demotivating you

but preventing you from getting thrashed.

What do you mean?

This is not called demotivation but being practical.

When you both decided to help me,

I thought I would be successful in my purpose.

But we are coward Gills.

Whom have you called coward?

To all of us.

Why did you feel bad alone?

In the time you could not propose two girls, I had proposed 35 girls.

And then the 36th one that is your mother agreed.

And you say I am coward.

Master ji, tell me why do you talk about work after drinking 3 cups of tea.

The boy that you have higreen makes the third cup delicious.

The first two cups are tasteless.

Tell me what should I do?

The first advice is to stop drinking tea.

It gives acidity.

This suggestion of yours is very good.

Ask the boy to serve hot milk.

The entire milk got finished in making your tea.

Where will he get milk from now?

-Can we talk about work now? -Yes.

First get registry done in your name.

Okay.

What is the procedure of getting registry done?

The cost of the house is around 2crore.

If we show it ruins on paper, the registry would be worth 25lakhs.

-Okay. -10% of 25 lakhs is around 2lakhs.

We need to spend 2 Lakhs for getting registry done.

Yes.

2 lakh is too much.

I had told you that you come here for drinking tea and not to do any work.

No. I want to don this deal.

I have given the advance for the house. I would lose that.

-Have you given the advance? -Yes.

-How much? -I have given Rs. 1.25

Have you given advance or just touched the house?

I have just given the auspicious amount otherwise my word has a lot of value.

That is why I tell you not to drink tea. Your tongue will burn.

Put it to use.

Okay, I will go and do something.

I have sent you a number and get the registry done.

Okay. Have you sent the number?

-Yes, I have. -I will do it.

What will he do?

Daddy, I feel I will top in next exams.

Really, dear. are your studies going on so well?

No. even Barkat seems to be slipping from my hands.

What do you mean?

I will tell you.

He means to say that if a person does not have a girlfriend,

then he has nothing else to do but to study.

Ask him what has happened.

Can't you ask.

Why are you forcing me to ask?

As if I am his secretary.

Dear, what has happened?

Jassi said something and Barkat smiled.

He must have cracked a good joke.

I think that wasn't a joke.

So what?

The girl just smiled but hasn't agreed for marriage.

Don't listen to your mother.

Ladies do not know about girls.

You cannot take the smile of a girl lightly.

It took me one and half year from liking her to making her smile.

And from smile to marriage, it took only two months.

Don't worry.

Now I must jump into the field.

Don't jump, step in slowly or the field might get shaken up.

Forget about shaking up.

I guarantee that Arsh will get Barkat.

People do not unnecessarily call up expert for vacating disputed properties.

Of course.

Hey...

Nothing, dear. yesterday a person was asking me to get a parking area vacated.

I got a case filed under section 302.

Excuse me.

There was a blind murder.

That too in Sri Lanka.

That man did not go to Sri Lanka.

This is the respect of your brother.

Brother, I wanted to talk to you.

Don't take tension. We will not spare him.

I will wait till you get free. No problem.

Okay, I will clear his misunderstanding as well.

Tell me, what is the matter?

Nothing.

I was passing by so thought of seeing the house.

Seeing the house?

Has this been made by Shah Jahan?

Even Shah Jahan wouldn't have been able to make such a house.

You have made an altogether different thing.

I think you haven't recognized me.

Are you a dead body that I must recognize?

Dead body? What does it mean?

There are some unidentified dead bodies as well.

You must be joking.

You are cracking a joke.

I too am Mr. Gill's tenant.

I just came here to tell you if could do anything for you.

My name is Sandeep Singh.

You could have a better name than this.

No problem, now that you have this name.

I just wanted to get checked if the name is proper.

This area is not good.

I came to know after coming here.

Henceforth, never come here.

Why would I come here. I would go straight on my path.

-I am leaving. -Listen.

I know that Gill has sent you here.

Tell him that I will not vacate the house.

It is just between us. What is so special about this house?

I suggest you leave this house.

And in this much rent I shall find a better house for you.

What if I make arrangement for your safe stay?

Which is that place?

Jail.

I am getting late. Shall I leave?

Just go away.

I will.

Go with the doubles speed with which you came.

"And follow others."

"You feel you are different from others in the world."

"The dreams that you see will not be fulfilled by talks."

What will you do of the lawyer now?

Even I am thinking what to do of that lawyer.

Listen to me and do one thing.

Don't say it again. I am not going to do any work.

Not any work. Listen to what I am saying.

The dirty waterfront on the other side of the market.

-Yes. -Go and drown all your schemes in that.

Okay, now you feel my schemes are cheap.

Don't forget we got married because of my schemes.

Only this scheme of yours was successful that you got married to me.

By telling that the land on which crematorium is built is yours.

I did not say anything wrong.

It is rightly said that this is our real house.

Our real land and property is in crematorium.

Everyone's 2gaz land is there.

Our 2gaz each must be there.

Together we will have 4.

How much nonsense can you talk?

The condition of the house is bad and you couldn't get reinstated in your job.

To which minister should I go?

Does anyone listen to me?

Climb the tank just like masters do.

I tried thrice. But I get into depression as soon as climb the first step.

I feel I am fine suspended.

You know that I have height phobia.

Then sit on hunger strike.

You know that I cannot stay hungry for two and half hours.

And you are talking of hunger strike.

In the middle of the night,

I open refrigerator to find what is there to eat.

You are good for nothing.

Don't say anything.

Let my scheme work.

The new one that I have started.

Buy disputed properties at less rate and sell it at a higher rate.

To hell with your schemes.

Let me just remove this lawyer from the house.

But how?

-Hello Barkat. -Hello, uncle.

How are you, dear?

I am fine, uncle.

I wanted to give Arsh's tuition fees to you.

You never asked for it. So, I thought I would give it to you.

No, uncle. I know my father gives rent very late.

You keep it.

My dealing with your father is different and with you it is different.

Tell me whether my son is intelligent or not.

Yes, uncle he has a bright future.

He is a very sensitive and a shy boy.

I believe if you say but one knows the capability of their child.

Does any other boy also come for tuition?

Yes uncle, he is MLA's son Jassi.

Very good. This is so snice.

Being a politician's son, he is interested in studies.

He is not interested in studies.

He does not come here to study but to waste time.

I am thinking that I will stop taking tuitions.

No dear, if you stop taking tuitions then where will my son go?

Tell me one thing. Do you like that boy?

Not at all.

I wanted to know that.

What do you mean?

I mean I just wanted to settle account of your tuition.

Thank you.

-Okay dear. -Okay uncle.

Tell me what did you want to talk?

Do you still love Jassi?

I don't know from where do people come to know?

Is it written on my forehead?

You had put a reel on Instagram saying, I still love you, Jassi.

Okay, people must have judged from that.

It has been two years and you still love him.

Two years?

We just had a break up recently.

Jassi told me it has been two years.

He is saying lies.

I feel you are saying lies.

Why would I say lies? I have photographs.

Look at this. This photograph is just 3 seconds before the break-up.

Look at the date. It is of last month.

That is fine.

I do not have any proof against you.

I must believe what Jassi told me.

Why should you believe?

I will send you all pics on what's app.

If he talks nonsense then show him.

Greetings, Mr. Saini.

Amazing, you have already got tea made for me today.

My boy starts making tea as soon as he hears your motorcycle.

Listen. We bought the house and the registry is done.

Shouldn't we remove the lawyer who stays there on rent?

Yes.

Why did he throw me out when I went there?

-He threw you out? The tenant? -Yes.

It is written in the registry

that henceforth the buyer will have all the rights.

How will that happen?

We will get rights of ownership only when he leaves his.

That means he is a clever person.

We must use some other way to make him vacate the house.

Okay. Whenever I go to his house should I go...

Not like this but use this.

What does that mean?

Till we do not use gun, he is not going to leave the house.

This is hooliganism.

How can we mess up with law?

Forget about that house.

How can I forget about it?

Mr. Saini, I will go against the law. Tell me how to do that.

Simple. Haven't you seen in movies?

Just as a hero sends goons to trap the girl, we will do the same.

Mr. Saini, I think you are mistaken.

He is a lawyer and not my lover.

My dear, why don't you understand what I am saying?

Here we must send goons not to trap the lover but to threaten the lawyer.

You are right.

But where will get trustworthy goons from?

Do you trust me?

I trust you fully but you do not look like a goon.

I am not a goon.

You must trust me that I will find trustworthy goons for you.

Amazing. Very good.

Done, sir.

Greetings, Mr. Gill.

Greetings.

Welcome, Mr. Harjinder.

How are you?

Very well.

I am not asking about your well-being

but about the matter for which you called me here.

Do you know MLA's son Jassi?

I know Jassi who is my son.

But my newspaper does not let me cover politics.

By mistake I congratulated a defeated MLA.

Congratulations.

That MLA was congratulated after losing.

But this MLA will lose after this news in printed.

I did not understand.

I have MLA's son Jasi's few photographs with his girlfriend.

Jassi roamed around with that girl for 5 years and then left her.

She is now very sad.

Mr. Gill, will MLA trouble me if I publish this news?

Why should that journalist be scagreen who has back of area's MLA?

I must agree Mr. Gill, your brain is just the opposite of your body.

Healthy and slim.

Because I may not walk but make my brain run every day.

Consider that this news will hit MLA like a bullet.

There is no license for a pen.

This seems to be the house.

Dear, do goons stay here?

Yes. Father, customers are here.

Come.

Greetings.

Dear, you go and play.

You are a goon.

Yes, I am a goon.

How can we believe that you are a goon?

Can we see an Id proof?

Is it written on our Aadhaar card that we are a goon?

We can show you a sample if you wish.

Let's see a sample.

Come on.

Stay away.

He is a very weak man. Show someone else.

He is a new person we have higreen.

We have more people as well. I will call them.

Jeetu, Mani...

We do not wish to see that sample. It is fine.

They are fine.

How must money will you take?

Tell me what is the work?

The rates are different from slapping to murder.

We do not wish to get anyone murdegreen but just vacate a house.

We supply goons and not workers.

No, not that we have to get sofas out...

We want someone to leave the ownership of the house.

Rs. 30,000 plus gst.

Why are you charging GST? Do you file GST?

Not that GST. GST means Goonda society tax.

This money goes to our organization.

Okay.

Look what to do.

Just greenuce some amount.

Is it a shop where bargaining takes place?

They do not do bargaining. I had told you.

No problem, that is fine. No problem.

We will give.

I was suggesting if you greenuced some money,

we will give all further assignments to you.

We have lots of work in future. If we could finalize it at Rs. 25,000...

Okay, we finalize at Rs. 25,000 but Rs. 2,000 separately for our alcohol.

Okay fine but that is not right.

I will do Paytm.

Take it.

Payment received.

Done.

What about GST?

Raise a bill and I will deposit GST.

Okay, you may go.

We will give your message to our boss.

Boss?

Boss?

Aren't you the boss?

I am an additional boss. Our boss stays somewhere else.

Okay, you are not the boss.

Where does the boss stay?

Boss fears ghosts.

One day he saw some playing so, he stays somewhere else.

Okay, I thought al fear goons.

But are goons scagreen of ghosts as well.

No, we are not scagreen of anyone but all are scagreen of ghosts.

-Yes, that is fine. -We fear.

Mr. Lawyer, forgive us.

If we knew you were the boss of these goons, why would we bring them.

We would have brought some other goons.

I did not understand. You are lawyer as well boss of goons? How is this possible?

Mr. Saini, the thing is that...

Why are you sitting on the floor?

Sit on a chair.

Yes, why am I sitting here?

There were so many fights happening every day.

It was difficult to hire a lawyer.

Okay.

-That is why I studied law. -Okay.

I do something wrong and then win the case.

-Amazing... this is intelligence. -Amazing.

You wanted to vacate the house of our boss.

Just wait and watch what we do with you.

Brother, do not thrash us. We are already dead.

Say something, Mr. Saini.

What should I say? I can only apologize to him.

Forgive me, sir.

I will forgive you.

We did not have an office.

Today, we will take over your office.

What?

-Boys, henceforth his office is ours. -Yes.

No, sir. What is my fault in this? Why do you do like this?

I am a poor person. Do not do that.

I am poorer than him. You know it.

Sir, what is to be done of them?

Leave them.

Listen to him. He is saying to spare us.

He is dumb.

He is not saying to spare you but kill you.

Let us go, please.

If something happens to me, my wife will be in trouble.

I am already suspended and get only half salary.

After my death, my wife will get half pension.

-Forgive us. -Okay.

In will count till 5.

Leave.

My feet have become numb because of sitting.

How will I run?

Nothing will happen. You will be able to run.

-Oh God. -What kind of feet you have?

They sleep even in tension.

Get your feet changed.

Jassi, Jassi...

come here.

What is the matter, father?

Your grandfather's photo was published

because he taught the British government a lesson.

My photo was published

because for last 5 years I am making Punjab government dance to my tunes.

Your photo got published because

you are roaming around with a girl for last 5 years.

Father, this is not me.

Is it Brother Pammi?

You have brought disgrace to me.

Father, I am sure this is someone's conspiracy.

This is your character.

-Go. -I mean to say we have an enemy.

We are a politician.

All are our enemies and no one is our friend.

I will find out which journalist has published this. I will not...

Listen.

It is election time. Don't create problems.

Daddy, not even one slap.

I will slap you.

Jassi.

One thing is there.

Looking at you it feels MLA sir is proud of you.

Why? Do you have it on Arsh?

Not at all.

But Arsh has not done anything special like you.

What have I done? Have I bent iron rods with my chest?

Uncle, I feel a person likes others' wives and children after some time.

Unmarried men know more about wives than married men.

I feel that is why they are unmarried.

What is the matter? MLA's son does not seem to be in a good mood.

I am MLA's son for others but for my father I am a bad son.

What is the matter?

Did MLA sir say something?

What will he say? He showed the real form of being a father.

-He scolded me. -Why?

A journalist published my photo with Gagan along with an article.

Okay.

My father asked me not to say anything to that journalist.

Why is MLA sir angry?

Loving someone is not a crime.

But for MLA's son everything is a crime.

MLA's son should be kind and honest.

This is old thinking.

Nowadays people like these things.

I feel after this thing got revealed that you love a girl for last 5 years,

your father will get youngster votes.

-Really? -Of course.

It can be bad for people of our age

but for your generation it is a matter of feeling proud.

I feel you should project yourself as Lady's man.

Honestly speaking uncle, I am a Lady's man.

It is quite evident by your looks, but others should also know.

I will get it published in newspaper that I never had a break up with Gagan.

I will be celebrating 6th Anniversary in September.

9041410043.

What?

This is the number of that journalist who published this article.

How did you get his number?

This is the problem of your generation.

Enjoy the life that you have got.

What is the need to know who is the father?

Think of more schemes.

The first one is not successful, how do I think of more.

I am saying it out of frustration.

Okay. I thought you were giving suggestion.

2 lakh, you spent on registry.

Rs. 1,90,000.

It is almost 2.

Rs. 25,000 for goons.

Rs. 27,000, I gave them Rs. 2000 for alcohol.

You wasted Rs. 2,17,000

Where did you get so much money from?

I don't know whether you remember it or not

but your sister Rani had gifted you a necklace.

Yes.

Consider that we have lost that necklace of sister Rani.

To hell with you.

You sold such a big necklace for Rs. 2,17,000

No, for Rs. 2,21,000

Rs. 4,000 is there for you.

What should I do of this man, God?

Why are you worrying? I am also very worried.

I spent Rs. 25,000 on goons and Rs. 2,000 on their alcohol.

Thinking that they would threaten the lawyer,

but they turned out to be his men.

They are his goons.

I spent money and made me run as well.

These schemes of yours will ruin us.

Shall I give you one scheme?

God will surely give us food to eat.

You just stay in bed as if in coma.

What answer will I give Rani?

There is nothing great in this.

Call her up.

Fight on some matter and then say at last

that Rani we are dead for you and you are dead for us.

I have done like this with many people.

Oh God, Mungeri Lal kike you were in my destiny.

Don't worry, my dear.

let any of my scheme work.

I will solve all your problems.

I will talk to Gill today.

Master ji, Rs. 1.25 that you had paid through Paytm

is kept safe in my locker.

If you wish, shall I return the money.

The money would be of use to you.

No problem, Mr. Gill. You may tease and taunt me as well.

My name is Master Scheme Singh.

I have not spagreen any student who will not take tuition from me.

How will I spare the lawyer and the house?

Just wait and watch.

Great, Master Ji.

I salute your passion.

This is called that though you have suffegreen so many losses

but still you are doing the same thing.

Mr. Gill, I will make sure

that I will get the lawyer hanged

or make his face black with black ash.

How will you do that?

Just as evil spirits danced in his old house,

-ghosts will dance in his new house. -How?

I will tell you that.

I want your cries in this.

This is not called cries but support.

Your cries is my support.

What you must do is go to the lawyer and cry, wail...

Tell him that you had threatened Master Sandeep Singh.

As soon as he left he committed suicide by consuming poison.

That's it.

Master ji, it is fine about your death.

But I can't cry fake.

No problem.

You simply go and tell him

that I have consumed poison and have committed suicide.

You are blessed.

Looking at your face it seems you are crying.

Thank you.

You must go.

Tell...

What is this scheme?

What is this?

What?

You have got it published in newspaper that Gagan is still your girlfriend.

I have done all this for votes.

Do you have any shame or not?

Whenever you feel, you start using Gagan.

You never respected her.

A person gives respect to parents and not to girlfriend.

What if your father says this for your mother.

How can he say that?

My mother is not my father's girlfriend.

A girlfriend only gets promoted to become a wife.

It is not necessary.

Some get suspended as well.

What if your mother was his girlfriend?

Not possible. My mother cannot do such cheap deeds.

Very good.

Tell me why do come for tuition every day?

Because I love you.

If I say yes...

Then my life would be made.

And I would become your girlfriend, right?

Being a girlfriend means doing cheap deeds.

Why do I do these cheap deeds?

You are very clever.

You are trapping me in my own talks.

If not girlfriend, should I send marriage proposal to your house.

Tell me clearly, what do you wish to say.

Listen clearly.

There is no need to come for tuition from tomorrow.

I am going to stop taking tuitions.

Sorry, if you felt bad.

Apologize to Gagan if you wish to.

My affair with Jassi is still on. Amazing, I don't know.

Why? Don't you read newspaper?

You know I am not good at reading.

In an interview to newspaper, he has said that he loves Gagan

and cannot leave her.

I am going to celebrate 6th anniversary with her.

I have no idea.

Just think that if I knew I would get a new suit stitched and embroidegreen.

You keep getting suits stitched

and he insulted you publicly.

What is wrong in it if he loves me so much?

Just think.

When you love him, he considegreen you as his servant.

What do you mean?

This is the chance to keep him under your control forever.

You are right. Just wait and watch what I do.

What will I do?

What you will do is that one article he got published,

one you get published.

I do not like Jassi at all.

Then he will fall at your feet.

This is an opportunity to prove.

If girls wish

then they can make boys dance to their tunes before marriage.

I will give an interview.

But who will do so much work.

First find newspaper,

read the news

and find the number of the journalist.

I cannot do all this.

Leave all this on me.

Okay. But why would you do all this for me?

You leave it. I have understood it all.

Anyone who falls in love with me cannot ever forget me.

My love for you is forcing you to do all this.

Isn't it?

Yes, Gagan. Tell me what do wish to say about Jassi.

Jassi...

Gagan.

Jassi, what are you doing here?

First you tell me, what are you doing here?

I had come here to give interview.

And I have come to stop that interview.

I came to know that you are giving interview against me.

That's it. If you would have called, I would have stopped it.

I wanted to talk something else with you.

What? Tell me.

I...

still live you.

Leave it. You are a liar.

You loved Barkat.

No, I want to get elections done again.

And this time you will be the only candidate of my heart.

There would be no one in the opposition.

And you will form a government with majority.

The chair of my heart is vacant.

Come and sit on it.

I love you, Gagan.

Love you too, Jassi.

It is a very political love story.

But it is very cute.

-Shall we go? -Yes.

Mr. Lawyer, are you at home?

Mr. Lawyer...

If you have come for rent, then go back.

Why would I come to ask for rent?

I know you never give that.

You must have come to ask for a bowl of lentil.

Tell me one thing.

Is one bowl of lentil enough for you?

You need a big bowl.

Thank you for the compliment.

But I have come with a very bad news.

Bad news?

My tenant Master Sandeep Singh died last night.

Died? How?

A goon threatened him.

He was soft at heart

and while sleeping his heart left him.

And master died.

Died? How?

This depends on person to person.

Some do not leave house and some leave their body.

Why are you telling me all this.

Mr. Lawyer, I have heard that you are a goon as well.

What do you mean by that?

I mean you are a lawyer so must be in contact with goons.

Pass this message to him if you find that goon who threatened him.

What?

A person who dies like this, his soul is never at peace.

Ask that goon to be beware.

What can a soul do?

I do not know much.

But neither bullet nor a door can stop the ghost.

The ghost does not let the person go to bathroom.

I do not know what will the ghost do to that goon.

How is that possible?

Ghost can do anything, Mr. Lawyer.

It is not that you will file a case against the ghost.

Only God can save him now.

"People say you are a cheater."

"And follow others."

"You feel you are different from others in the world."

"You are a big cheater."

"People say you are a cheater."

"And follow others."

"You feel you are different from others in the world."

"God knows what will happen with him."

"Blindly he aims the arrow, and for once it hits the aim."

"God knows what will happen with him."

"Blindly he aims the arrow, and for once it hits the aim."

"God heard our prayers."

"So, now you can dream." -Who is there?

It's me.

Master,

I did not recognize you.

You have recognized me but is not accepting it.

This is not your court, where you would escape after saying lies.

Master ji, why have you come here?

-You. -What do you mean?

I mean,

revenge for a murder is murder.

Master ji, I did not kill you. I gave you a sweet threat.

It is said that if one can be killed with sweet,

why to give poison.

I died because of your sweet threat.

Forgive me, Master ji.

I had said in the same way

to forgive me, Mr. Lawyer.

Did you forgive?

Now I will take you with me.

No, Master Ji.

Why would you take me?

One needs to fight one's own case there.

There is no lawyer there.

Proof is needed.

I must tell

why I committed suicide when Dharamraj will ask me.

Because of him.

Even dogs do not accept the fact when they die early.

Shall I give you one idea, Master ji?

Don't go above. Stay here.

Good idea.

You mean to say in this house.

No,

I have one other flat. You can stay there.

Shut up.

Often it is said haunted bungalow

or house.

Have you ever heard haunted flat?

You are insulting me.

Ghosts do not stay in flats but in houses.

If I stay back, I will stay in this house.

I can keep few other ghosts also with me in this big house.

Master ji, that is fully furnished.

Stop talking nonsense.

Will you leave this house or come with me?

You stay here. I will go.

My feet do not get numb.

Okay, I will count till 10.

Leave till I count 10.

No, do not count till 10,

-counting till 5 is enough. -Get lost...

Get lost!

Get lost!

Daddy... Yes.

You have brought me till here being my Love Guru.

Now what next.

Dear, what we did behind will decide what will happen in future.

Whatever will happen next is not in hands of love Guru

but in the hands of Waheguru.

Father, understand one thing.

It takes a lot of hard work in passing paper of love.

Arsh dear, you understand two things of mine.

You gave this paper of love by studying through this guide of love.

Secondly, whether you have passed in these papers

or not will not be decided by you but by your madam.

If your madam gets angry then you are a failure.

If he feels pity on you,

she will be calling your name Arsh, Arsh here.

Our hard work paid off.

Madam passed my son in paper of love.

Great, Master ji. What kind of ghost you would be that you scagreen the lawyer.

Show us as well.

Leave it, Mr. Gill. You will the house and run.

You will not be able to run.

He ran away till I counted 5

but for you I must count till 500.

The one who bought the house will come tomorrow

and give you 2crore cash and take cheque from you.

Great, Master ji.

Did you earn anything?

Why do you ask such things?

Okay, let me tell you.

You got 2crore for the house.

I received a cheque of 40 lakh.

Amazing, Master ji, amazing.

-Shall I make a request? -Yes, please.

Give me my rent now.

From where do I give? My financial condition is so tight.

What are you saying?

Open your eyes.

What is this?

Check it, this is a cheque.

That of Rs. 4,000.

Isn't the zeros more?

Read the amount carefully.

Rs. 40,000.

Only Rs. 40,000.

Increase the amount.

Don't say that it is 4lakh.

Why would I say it is of 4lakh?

When it is of 40lkah.

-Don't talk nonsense. -Read it carefully.

How many zeros are there?

Read in whose name the cheque is.

Sandeep Singh.

Is this really yours? Will it get deposited in bank?

Of course. Are they deposited in tea stalls?

Strange. This is the first income of Scheme Singh's scheme.

Forgive me.

Unnecessarily I shouted at you.

What you were doing is not shouting but treating like a dog.

No one feels bad if a wife treats like a dog.

It is a tradition nowadays.

-Wait, I will get tea for you. -Wait.

Get tea with biscuits that you had saved for guests.

Not only biscuit, but I will get Pinni for you.

Which one?

That of gram flour or thickened milk?

-That of flaxseeds. -Great.

If a person's one scheme falls straight,

then his wife makes Pinni's' with flaxseed rather than calling him lazy.

"All people are waiting in this dreamland."

"They are waiting as to when will good days come."

"An accountant must be higreen to count your excuses."

"Scheme Singh, your scheme worked today."

"Scheme Singh, your scheme worked today."

"God knows what will happen with him."

"Blindly he aims the arrow, and for once it hits the aim."

"God knows what will happen with him."

"Blindly he aims the arrow, and for once it hits the aim."

"God heard our prayers. So, now you can dream."

"Scheme Singh, your scheme worked today."

"Scheme Singh, your scheme worked today."