Original subtitles

Come get us ya old geezer

Here he comes, run!

Charlie, it was probably those kids.

You know they play in your graveyard.

Yes but I don't see how those kids could...

But I know the location of every stone out there

And in that row,

Baker...

Each stone has been moved over one plot

Charlie this isn't the first time you've called me with

this nonsense.

Now I understand you retire this month.

That's right, I retire this week, Friday.

Your replacement with handle it. This ts all in your head.

Okay. We'll I'll leave him a detailed account.

No you best focus on packing up your things, you understand?

But he's not going to know where those things belong.

No, this is all in your head.

He's going to think everything is honkey dorey.

Charlie you need to leave this one alone.

Well my question is, Should we call the police?

Call the police about what?

About the heads stones.

Enough about the head stones!

Look my wife is heading up to bed now, I'm done here Baker.

Okay, I'm going to leave him a note though.

You take care of yourself chuck!

Charlie Baker.

Fred Whinny

Ah it was those kids that moved them.

I'm sorry kids? What kids, Charlie?

Well I spoke to your assistant and I'm real sorry

they made you come out here.

No I'm not here for that, Charlie.

No, the reason I'm here is to give you this.

You can open it now or later, at your leisure.

It's to mark the occasion of your retirement.

Have a seat, Charlie.

You don't get many people up here do you, Baker?

You like the isolated life, something you got used to.

But other people, that's something

you never got used to, was it, Baker?

You going to Miami Beach, Baker?

Yeah, Miami beach is a fine place.

You've been here a long time. I can't imagine.

Work on your first tan in decades, huh?

I gotta hand it to ya, Baker. You're a real dreamer.

Now I'm just going to lay my cards on the table.

We don't want you to retire just yet.

What?

No, oh.

But, oh, uh?

Florida ain't going anywhere.

But, uh...

I'm dying.

It's true, Mr. Whinny. Look.

Look.

There's nothing I can do about it.

I see. I'm sorry to hear about that, Baker.

What are you dying of?

It's very rare to get it

but it's called Episodic Pran Disorder.

See what it is, is my spinal fluid is drying up

and my brain is moving in my head.

Some call it brain clunk.

Listen.

Do ya hear that?

No?

Well I certainly did.

See if I move my head over to the side like that

my brain sloshes over here.

And if I was to move my head back, uh,

my brain clunks against the back of my skull.

Same to the other side.

If I was to move my head back and forth

it would sound like you knocking on the door just now.

So.

They tell me I got two years left.

Two years.

Then my brain will be so dry and brittle, it will break.

I'll turn to look at something and it'll crack, lights out.

So I want to go to Florida.

I'm tired of being surrounded by all these damn dead people.

I'll be coming home soon in a box, anyway.

I wanna meet someone, I wanna talk to people.

I'm tired of kids making fun of me all day.

I'm tired of my brain bouncing around in my head,

making me think someone's knocking at the door.

That's no way to spend the last two years of your life. No sir.

So with all due respect, Mr. Whinny,

I have to decline your offer.

You believe in ghosts, Baker?

No Mr. Whinny, I don't.

They're cold in the ground out there. I should know.

Here's the thing, Charlie.

We got a guy up at Forks of Heaven,

who's gone AWOL on us. No one knows where he is,

and there's nobody waiting in the wings

So it has to be you. It's just a six month stint.

No, no, uh...

We're willing to triple your pension.

I don't need more pension, I need more time.

Pension is good as it is.

Well I am sorry to hear about your episodic disease.

Sounds made up to me.

I would get a second opinion if I were you.

Baker, you will take this post.

Or we fire you today, and you lose the whole kit and caboodle.

No, , Mr. Whinny. No.

I wanna go to Florida, please.

It's just six months.

Then you'll have so much money.

You can go to Disney World every goddamn day 'til you die.

You're not giving me much choice here, are you Mr. Whinny?

I'm not giving you any choice at all, Charlie.

Well it's not like I'm going to miss anyone.

I got no one to miss.

Hey buzzard balls, come get us.

Come get us, asshole.

Hey. Hey!

Hey. Hey, kids!

Hey, kids, wait.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

I got a long drive.

Always keep the contents of this box

within ten feet of your personage.

Well.

1, 2, 3, 8,9,6,7

I gotta hand it to you, Baker. You're a real dreamer.

You will take this post.

If we fire you today, you lose the whole kit and caboodle.

What the hell?

I wanna go home.

What?

We've been waiting for you.

I need a rest.

Excuse me. I'm sorry. Um, I'm lost.

You from around here?

Do I have to stand out here?

Oh, no.

Oh!

What did you say?

What?

Well are we just going to sit here in the middle of the road?

Sorry.

It's a bad night.

It's dreadful. I should thank you for picking me up.

Oh.

So. Thank you.

Where are you going?

Well that depends. Where are you going?

Well to tell you the truth, I'm a little lost.

There's a map here.

If you know the area, maybe it makes sense to you.

Oh, thanks.

What's wrong?

What's your name?

Charlie Baker.

What's yours?

It's Fay.

Wher'd you get this map?

Oh, I knew it. It's no good right?

No! No, it's good. Well, it just, um.

It just doesn't have any of the road names on it.

Gosh, I can fix that.

Wow!

What?

Ha! I don't need my glasses anymore.

Wow!

Oh. Oh, my.

Well, now.

Where did you say you were going?

Forks of Heaven cemetery.

Look, I marked the route for you see, right here.

Huh!

What? What's wrong, Fay? What?

Charlie, could you just, could you hold me Charlie?

Oh, sure.

I can't go back there Charlie, I can't go back there.

Go back where Fay?

He hits me, Charlie.

Who? Who hits you, Fay?

No. No, I'm already too close. I have to get out.

Charlie, I have to go.

Charlie, just, um. Just keep that key close, ok?

Just promise me.

Fay! Fay!

Fay! Wait!

Harry, what is this place?

You mean the place with all the tombstones?

The graveyard.

We're gonna have to be real little for a while, tips.

Until the coppers move on.

Is it day or is it night?

Charlie!

Charlie, I told you you have to keep it close.

Run, Charlie!

Run, Charlie!

Uh!

Charlie.

What the hell is happening? This can't be happening.

I must be dreaming.

I'm home. I'm home.

Soon those kids from the graveyard are going to come.

But when I went through those trees.

Everything is different.

I don't believe this is happening.

I don't believe I'm here, Fay.

Are you here, Fay?

I'm here Charlie.

Harry, I've heard about this place.

It's the kind of place you want to avoid.

Then maybe it's the perfect place to hide out.

What do you feel Charlie.

I don't Know.

Do you hear voices?

Only yours.

Do you feel strong?

I don't know. Yeah. I think I do.

I love you, Charlie.

I think I love you, too.

That's why we can never be together.

Fay?

Ahh!

Ahh!

Fay? Is that you?

It's Sheriff Cliff Ryan. Open the door, Jasper.

Just open the goddamn door.

Who are you?

My name's Charlie Baker.

Where is Jasper?

He must be the guy I'm replacing.

He went AWOL.

You ok, Charlie Baker?

No, Sheriff. I'm not.

Two men have escaped from Forks pen.

They'll be looking for somewhere to lie low.

These are bad, bad men, Charlie Baker.

You keep things locked up.

They could be the least of your troubles.

Now you just let me know if you see

anything out of the ordinary.

I did.

You did, what?

I saw something out of the ordinary.

Well?

This particular cemetery has a lot of story attached to it.

Now I've been here for most of it.

You see, Charlie Baker, when you're a cop

you have access to those parts of the story that

the public would find, now how do I say this?

Indigestible.

Hard to swallow.

Would you say that's true to your story?

Hard to swallow?

I'd say that's it exactly.

Have a seat, Charlie.

What are we going to do, Harry?

Don't be a character, Tips.

Copper left the crib tight.

Let's split, Harry. We gotta dangle!

Nah! Let's lay low.

Then when the Sheamus comes out we dry gulch him.

Run the dump, see if the gink's got any bread.

Then we fade in his whip.

I think that sounds hinky, Harry.

Oh yeah?

Yeah.

You sound hinky, now button up.

Of course, they always keep our door open.

First groundsman I met was Paul.

Paul Kemp. Yeah.

Now Paul was transferred here from somewhere else.

He was a normal guy, lived alone.

Obsessive about the lawn.

Now most groundsman, they rotate sections,

but Paul, he cut the whole goddamn thing.

Hell, he enjoyed grooming the grounds.

But soon, Charlie, he started slipping up.

He went three days, no breaks, just pushing that damn cutter.

Day and night. Rain or shine.

Alison, this is the last time that we have this opportunity!

Ready? Yes.

Amos and Betty. You get along!

He started interacting with the headstones.

And I saw him one day, tearing a Strip off one of them graves.

I'm America! I'm a melting pot! These people won't listen.

I'm the voice of these people.

Full on lecture.

The fear of death!

I thought maybe, maybe they were taking to him.

Sure as hell looked that way.

It's a pink mist coming down on all of you!

Don't you run from that.

This behaviour completely took him over, Charlie.

Stop it! Stop it! Alexander! I Know you're here!

Those graves kept getting pissed right off.

Shaking with rage.

I'm coming, I'm coming for you. I'm coming home!

Now you see, to Paul Kemp, I wasn't even there.

Where is he now?

Oh, he's out there. Oh yeah.

Now, Charlie, it wasn't enough just to talk them, no.

He needed to be with them.

And right up til the end, Charlie, he was doing his job.

So they sent me this couple to take his place.

Now what were their names?

Praut. Mr. and Mrs. Praut.

And they were a nice couple, I do remember that, Charlie Baker.

Now flowers were his thing. Roses. He had them everywhere.

Now each grave keeper likes to freshen up the place, Charlie.

Add their own, touch.

Maybe that it. That's how it gets to them all.

The things they see, dwell on Charlie.

The fever in a drop of blood.

I went out to see them.

My first thought of course was her.

Lucie!

You see Mr. Praut, he had in his head

that she had dug up their unborn son.

Lucie! I'm coming for ya!

Turns out, Charlie, she was caught up in the nightmare

just as much as he was.

Digging up the graves of children.

They're out there, too. Oh yeah.

She's wrapped around the casket of a child she never met.

And they dumped him in a hole, top of a hill. No stone.

Do you believe in ghosts, Charlie Baker?

Uh uh.

Freddy T. Neville.

It was all that damn smiling.

Put you on edge.

Turns out Freddy T. had a very active mind, a gifted mind,

One of those artist types.

He was preparing for something. Something big, Charlie.

Then, bang!

Freddy had a plan.

I figured it was only a matter of time, but maybe, just maybe

I could pull this poor bastard back before he went over.

The last one is actually Jasper.

The guy I...

The guy you're replacing.

Charlie, it's me. It's me.

Save me Charlie.

What?

Save me. Save me, Charlie.

I love you, Charlie.

Now listen to me Charlie, and listen careful.

I'm not alone in here, and there's not a lot of time.

The key fits the trunk beside the bed.

The key you hold.

Inside, you'll find a map. It will tell you where I am.

Once the trunk is open, Charlie, it will start a war.

What about the Sheriff?

Take his gun and shoot him.

He's not who he appears to be anymore.

One last thing, Charlie.

What?

What you think is real is slipping into hell.

Everything is.

Everything is slipping into hell.

Keep the key with you.

You have to hurry!

Do it now!

Bang!

Harry, there's something screwy going on in that place.

I'm going to see if I can find a gat.

Go keep six.

Do!

All right.

Holy molly.

What the hell we got here?

Tips, grab the piece quick.

I am speechless.

Can you tell me what I'm looking at here?

Well there's a dead cop sitting right there

and I think this fairy iced him.

You think I'm a fairy?

No, I don't think you're a fairy, Harry.

Who the hell are you guys?

Okay, tough guy, huh? Cop killer, eh?

Sir, I owe you a solid for this.

I'm gonna clock him.

I don't like the look in this squirrels eyes, Harry.

Go sit down.

Sit in the chair.

Sit down!

I don't know about this, man, why is this guy icing a cop?

We walked into a situation, we don't need to be here.

Stop gooning over yourself Harry, you even listening to me?

I don't like that guy.

Let's see what we can grab here.

Harry!

No, no, no!

I got a key.

Don't mess with that. It will mess with you.

I'm warning you.

Warning, eh?

You got some big warning you want to share?

Okay pops we can swap warnings, how about that?

I'll go first.

My warning to you is, that I hold the power

of life and death in my hands.

I am god to you right now, and if you make me wrathful

I will smite you right here in that chair.

You got anything better than that?

No?

This is it!

What do we got, Tips?

Hang on.

A map.

A map?

Yeah, I think it's a map.

Sounds interesting, pass it over.

Harry, I got a bad feeling.

Harry I'm not kidding, I feel sick now!

Ahh! Ahh!

Ahhhh!

Ahhhhhhhhh!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Honey, please.

Please, Charlie.

Fay?

You have to lock the key in the trunk.

If you lock the key in the trunk I can come back.

Put the fucking key in the trunk!

You're gonna die, Charlie.

Hell is coming for you!

Fuck you, fuck you fuck my ass, Charlie!

Fuck my ass!

You're a weak, pathetic old man!

Ahhhh!

Who the hell are you?

Where are you? Florida?

Disneyland?

I need some choices here.

8, 9, 10.

One thing I can say for sure

is that I, Charlie Baker, do not accept that

any of this is happening. Not a thing!

Another thing I can say for sure is it doesn't really matter much

what I accept.

Yeah. Yeah.

As a sane man who finds himself in this predicament

I've concluded that

I have no choice.

I sure hope there's nobody looking in on this.

Cause I bet they'd think I'm nuts.

Fay

Charlie Baker

Come on, Charlie.

I'm dying to see you, Charlie.

You're in for a big surprise.

Come on, Charlie.

Sit down, Charlie. Sit down.

Sit down!

I am known as The Barda.

Do you know what people are, Charlie?

They are things stuck in a place.

Do you know what people do?

They make noises.

You should drink, Charlie, it's delicious

and it will pick up your spirits.

You met my whore.

You and her have been up to no good.

Sit down!

She wants to belong to the future.

But that's not for me.

No, not anymore.

Do you know what I am, Charlie?

You're disgusting.

I am a plug in the bottom of a bathtub.

That was a little water escaping down the drain.

Do you know why I'm here, Charlie?

I am here because I don't really believe I'm here.

It's a paradox.

Kind of a game that's played on us, perhaps.

The man of many smiles.

Fellow who laid down in a grave.

Now why do you think that they didn't make it here.

Because they believed

the things that were happening to them.

Do you believe that you are here, Charlie.

I don't believe in you, Barda.

But, I do believe in me.

And I am going to take Fay and I am going to go home.

You are home, Charlie! You have to plug the hole!

Or everything will get sucked down the hole!

The ground, everywhere is getting closer to me, Charlie.

The dead are piled up under me!

They are licking my feet! And it drives me mad!

I am sick of the living!

The whole world is going home.

Charlie.

He's gone.

He's gone, Charlie.

You're the first person who he's spoken to in,

in a very long time.

Since the beginning.

He believed what was happening to him.

And now, Charlie, so do you.

We got to get out of here, now!

No, Charlie!

What?

I can't go on!

He's gone! Let's go!

Charlie, no!

What's wrong?

Oh, Charlie.

It's a, a technicality.

Do you feel strong, Charlie?

Yeah, I think I do.

What technicality?

I love you!

I'm dead, Charlie.

No, no.

I don't believe you.

Now go. Go.

And thank you.

I'm free.

I've been a terrified man. Alone, afraid,

that anything I did, or you did, would hurt.

Every act, every word, each one a Stitch,

sewing me into the ground.

It's funny, but when you step back to see yourself,

you can't see anything. I stepped too far back.

Fear is out there now.

Loose in the woods, on the road, looking for someone else.

I am on the beach where she left me.

You see, I have made it here.

Am I a man? A monster? Am I an angel?

I can see myself saying this, saying whatever I want.

It's OK, I am going to live forever.

My name is Charlie Baker, hear that?

And I was here just now.

Closed captioning by MOUNTAIN GOAT FILM