Original subtitles

Nicholas, you're writing Valentine's. Only because my teacher says I have to.

think it's nice. It'll make all your friends feel good.

Swell. Let's see what you're writing there. To Cindy, sincerely, Nicholas

Bradford, sincerely.

What's wrong with that?

Nicholas, Valentine's Day is a day when we express our affection to others.

It's a day when we share our most intimate feelings with the people that

really care about.

Sincerely is much too formal. Put something else.

Okay.

Nicholas, you can't put this.

Why not?

You told me to share my most intimate feeling.

You were right.

Sincerely was just fine.

That's what I thought.

There's a plate of homemade wishes on the kitchen

windowsill.

And it is enough to fill our lives with love.

Tom, do you know what I've been thinking?

No, Elliot, but I'm sure that you'll tell me.

I have been thinking...

that it is far too long since I've expressed to you how important you are

register. I don't think you know how much I, and indeed the rest of the staff

the paper here, appreciate you.

We here at the paper feel that you... All right, I'll give.

What is it you need from me this time?

Whatever do you mean, Tom? Well, I mean, the last time you told me how important

I was to the register, you needed help writing your son's fourth grade play.

But you know, as a matter of fact, there is one little thing.

My niece Katie is in town visiting. Of course, she used to live here, but that

was years ago, and now she's back east at college, and she's on her winter

break, and, well, she doesn't know anyone in town, and I thought that,

Yes? Well, I just thought that it would be so nice to be able to introduce her

to someone her own age.

Oh, and you felt that Tommy is just around her age, right?

Tom, you are so perceptive. I'm afraid not, Elliot. I always make it a policy

never to interfere in my children's social lives.

Tom, I'm not asking for a big romantic date. I'm asking for a friendly,

little evening to help make the poor kid's vacation a little nicer.

I'm afraid not, Elliot.

If not, she'll be stuck around the house watching reruns of Gilligan's Island.

I'll see what I can do.

Sure you won't come with us, Abby? No, thanks. It's going to be your loss. Hi,

Dad. Bye, Dad.

They're going on a date.

Oh. Is Tommy home yet? I think so.

Well, Elliot Randolph wants me to set Tommy up with his niece.

Oh, Tommy will love that.

Yeah, she's in town for winter break.

Oh, no.

The girls.

Winter break.

Calm down, Tom.

Why didn't I realize it was that time of year?

You think it's going to be just like last year, don't you? It's the same

year. That's not necessarily so. The girls go crazy. They meet a bunch of

guys, and they proceed to drive me crazy.

First of all, most of the girls are out of school, except for Susan, who's

married, and Elizabeth, who's going to study with Jack, and Mary, who's much

level -headed for that kind of thing. Winter break is a state of mind.

Circumstances are irrelevant.

The girls are older now. They're more mature. They're much too smart to get

mixed up like that again.

I wish I could share your optimism.

I can't help it. I feel sorry for Elizabeth.

I think you're crazy. Jack's great.

Well, I know, but it's her first winter break.

Oh, come on, Nan. Do you remember when we were in college? We loved to have a

boyfriend when winter break started.

Yeah, I know, but somehow she'll be missing the challenge of finding

Panic is something one doesn't miss, Nan.

Oh, I sure don't.

Boy, if there's one thing I don't miss about college, it's the whole adolescent

approach to love.

Lily, falling in love with love is just immature.

I guess so.

But it got to be such a habit, especially this time of year.

Oh, really?

You know, we ought to do something to break the pattern of time, huh?

Like what?

How about the buddy hunt?

Sure, that'd work if we all stick together.

Keep an eye on each other? Yeah.

Seven days, winter break will be over, tatter will be broken.

Sounds okay.

I guess.

Great. Let's escape.

All right. Together.

I'll join you in a second.

Oh, Joanie. I won't even look at a guy.

All right, but hurry. You're a sucker for the first weirdo that comes along.

Now, how do you feel about that?

You know, this is like the blind leaving the blind. Oh, gosh.

Wait,

wait, Mary, hold up.

You're laughing.

Not at you. I'm laughing at my sister.

She fell, right?

And that made you laugh, right?

Right.

I'd love to laugh.

You'll find it's more fun from this position.

Thanks, I wouldn't know yet.

You care for a steady arm while you get the hang of it? No, that's okay. But

thanks anyway.

Talk Dorothy Hamill. Everything she knows.

Okay.

I never said specifically I thought her out as gay.

And the best part is they'll be here for the whole break.

I can't believe these guys drove all the way from home just to surprise me.

I can't either.

Now, tonight we're going to hit Old Town, and then tomorrow we'll do the

tour stuff, go by the Capitol and all that.

Hey, what about us?

Well, you can come along, Elizabeth.

Oh, gee, thanks.

I didn't mean it like that.

I just assumed you'd want to, that's all.

Well, you can just stop assuming.

I thought we were supposed to spend the break together, remember?

We will.

Yeah, with your friends.

That's not my idea of a romantic week.

What am I supposed to do? Tell the guys to leave?

What am I supposed to do?

Come with us.

Forget it, Jack.

You're being selfish, Elizabeth.

And you're being a jerk.

Look, if you don't want to spend the week with me alone, then maybe I better

find someone who does.

Good night, Jack.

Dad, I heard you wanted to talk to me. Oh, Tommy, hi.

Yes, as a matter of fact, I wanted to ask you, how did band practice go

Fine.

Tommy, if I asked you a question, would you be totally honest with me?

Yeah, okay.

All right.

Do you think that I'm a good father?

Yeah, I guess so.

I mean, you know that you can come to me any time you have a problem or any time

you need advice.

Well, of course you do know that because you have come to me many times.

Whatever it is, Dad, forget it. I don't want to do it. But Elliot Randolph says

she's a nice girl.

Who's a nice girl?

Elliot Randolph's niece, Katie.

Now, you remember who Elliot Randolph is. He's the man who signs my paycheck

every week.

You know, the paycheck that allows me to afford the...

Clothes on your back and the food in your mouth.

I just lost my appetite.

Oh, come on, Tommy. It's just for one night, one friendly little night. You

don't have to marry the girl. You don't even have to get engaged.

What does she look like?

Elliot Randolph says she looks fine.

She's ugly. Forget it. No way.

You're right, Tommy.

I shouldn't interfere.

Forget I said anything.

Thanks, Ted.

Tommy.

About that money that you wanted me to loan you for your amp.

What time do I pick her up?

Eight o 'clock.

When you're able to respect my space, well, then I'm able to respect your

which makes our meeting so much more significant.

And the amazing thing about it, Joanie, that it is totally irrespective of their

space.

See?

I tell you, Joanie, since I took the program, I've really been able to let go

my old stuff. I feel so clear now on so many things.

Really? Like what?

Oh, like space.

I'm really clear on space.

Oh.

So? After high school, I went to college in Italy and then did graduate work in

Greece and wrote my archaeological dissertation in France.

So what brings you back to the States?

Well, I thought it might be interesting to visit a foreign country.

No, actually, I'm just visiting my folks.

I have one whole week to get back in touch with the good old U .S. of A

head back out again.

Where to this time?

What's one on?

It's my first important date.

How great.

Yeah, I'm very excited.

Say, you don't happen to know where Botswana is by any chance, do you?

Sorry.

That's all right. When I get on the plane, I'll just do it.

Good idea, Greg.

Would you like a napkin?

Welcome.

Welcome.

Hiya.

Great, so...

I never even wanted to be a doctor. My family wanted it, but it just doesn't

fulfill me.

Wow, that's too bad.

I love medicine.

If I could find the courage, I'd give it up right now.

You mean you quit to do what?

To fulfill my destiny.

Use the natural talents I've been suppressing for all these years.

Capital building hasn't changed much since I lived here.

I could take you to see the governor's mansion. That hasn't changed much

No, that's all right.

It's still early yet.

How about some tunes?

Mervyn Lee.

Boy, you don't hear his kind of music on the radio much.

Yeah, I know.

The station only plays jazz for a couple hours on Friday nights.

listen to when you study?

I do the same thing.

I don't think anybody our age except for me listen to this kind of music.

Really like Mervyn Lee?

You guys, I've got something to tell you. You find out sooner or later.

She made a date.

You didn't. I think she did. I couldn't help it.

I'm glad she did.

You are?

So did I. Sorry, Tony.

Don't be.

You didn't.

You know what?

I knew we would.

Oh, Tommy.

How was your date?

Oh, great.

You liked her?

So much I asked her to the Valentine's dance next week.

Oh, that's terrific.

Good night, Dad.

I can't believe it. He liked her.

Tommy actually liked Elliot's niece.

See, Tom, things don't always have to turn out the way you assume they will.

Do you think he could stop worrying about the girls, too?

Yeah. Maybe you're right.

Maybe this will be the first February with no chaos, no craziness, no

and no goofy guys.

It'll be just another normal week.

Nice and normal.

No crazy girls, no crazy guys.

Katie Felcher.

It couldn't be Fang Felcher, could it? Who?

She was in my sixth grade class.

We used to call her Fang because she had these two huge teeth.

Well, she said she used to live here. It has to be the same one.

She's still a four.

She was all right.

She was fine.

I'll bet.

Look, Ernie...

Drop it, okay? We went out and we had a nice time.

Sure. Bet you pulled the Tour of Capital trick, huh?

Come on. We're going to be late for school.

Hey, your secret's safe with me. I won't tell anybody.

Thanks, Ernie. And don't worry. Candy will never have to know.

Candy? Yeah, you remember Candy.

The ten you've wanted to take out all year. You and every other guy at school.

Yeah, what about her? I just found out she's waiting for you to ask her to the

Valentine's dance.

Me?

But she's going with Mark Donahue.

The key word here is was.

They broke up.

Are you sure she wants me? She told June Saxon. Hey, she must have wanted it to

get back to you.

Everyone knows June can't keep a secret.

I don't know, Ernie. Bradford, don't be a nerd. This is too good to pass up.

She's a ten.

Tony. Hi, Elizabeth Bradford.

Yeah, yeah, long time no see.

I guess it's been longer than I thought.

Um, oh, well, so, what's new?

No kidding.

Out on probation, huh?

Well,

that's great, Tony.

Wait till you get to know him.

He's so...

It's clear.

Hey, do any of you guys know where Botswana is? It's in Africa. But,

could you give me a little space?

I know it's in Africa, but where in Africa? Mary, you know, you're going to

to learn to respect my space, too.

It's clear to me that you're hogging it all. Hello, Botswana. Yeah, it's in

Africa. I know. How come that guy you're with never smiles, Mary?

Psychiatrist says that it all stems from his childhood.

Psychiatrist? Half psychiatrist?

Sure. Really?

I wonder how he... feels about that.

I saw them in the bathroom, Abby. I know they're talking about those boys that

they met.

Tommy being paranoid.

I can tell. I can also tell that those boys that they met are weird.

They're weird boys.

How do you know they're weird? I know, I know, because they've been weird for

the last six years. They've always been weird. I know.

Tom, you keep forgetting that your daughters are young adults.

They're not going to go out with just anybody.

And if they do go out with somebody new, I'm sure you'll find that they'll be

quite normal.

But you don't really know me, Mr.

Bradford. What you think you know is what you see. But what you see is not

really me, but what you perceive me to be. All I said is it was nice to know

you.

That's just the point.

Ken, good.

Dad, you're getting to know each other. Great.

Well, you ready to go? Yep.

See you later.

It's a surprise for Nancy. It'll help her better understand what I do for her.

You scare people.

No, no, no. It's... Greg, hi.

Hi. Hi.

Here. It's for you.

Oh, wow. That's beautiful.

Look, Dad. Isn't this beautiful?

Wow. Thanks.

Here. Take care of it for me, okay?

You better get going. Yeah. Bye, Dad.

Night.

Are you okay?

They're weird again.

I'm going to bed.

Time at the door.

Good night, Abby.

Good night, son.

You're not Mary.

A movie?

Yeah, I'd love to, Buck. What time?

Great.

Jim, too?

Well, I was kind of hoping to see you alone. I mean, we haven't talked in

Tell Jim to get his own date.

You are Jim's date?

Oh, well, we really should talk more often.

Bye, Buck.

Don't you have anything better to do?

Are you kidding? I must be watching a world's record.

Fourteen calls.

And you haven't even got a day yet.

Thanks a lot. Well, I'll tell you one thing. I am not sitting home alone

tomorrow, no matter what.

I have still got one more chance.

To feed the mind.

Starve the ego.

Ergo ego death.

Excellent.

Okay, I've got one.

You're at a party.

You're sharing a communication with another human being.

Somebody violates your space.

How do you deal with it?

I got it. You call him on his stuff and ask him to get off it. Wrong.

You share with him your annoyance. You ask him how he feels about it.

Then you tell him to get off of it. That's right.

Otherwise, he wouldn't know where you were coming from. Of course. Got it.

See, Joanie?

Well, you know, not really, Ken.

It's, uh, the logic is sort of convoluted, don't you think?

Well, that's because you haven't done the program, Joanie. You really should

take the program.

They just don't make shows like Green Acres anymore.

No.

I have every episode on tape.

Lucky you.

People just didn't understand that show, Mary.

The timing, the rhythm, the symbolism of the material.

It was a classic.

Wayne, I thought that we came over here to talk about psychiatry. We'll get to

that later, Mary.

But... Mary.

I'm trying to give you a lesson in what good comedy is all about.

Wait till you see this one.

Another Greenacres?

Uh -uh.

Mr. Ed.

You know, in primitive cultures, there's no such thing as dating.

Well, then how do people get together?

Well, their parents arranged it. Don't mention that to my father. He might get

ideas. Now, wait a minute. There are some advantages.

Such as? Well, for one, it cuts rejection way down.

And you never have to worry about a date for New Year's Eve.

Yeah, but chances are we might never have gotten together.

Nancy. Yeah? I would have left the truck for you.

You know what else?

I sure am glad you're a lousy roller skater.

Do you like her or don't you like her?

Oh, yeah, I do.

And I don't.

Ah, forget it. It's too complicated. You wouldn't understand anyway.

That's what Ken means.

I mean, our life is so complicated that everybody's afraid to express themselves

for fear of not being understood.

Ah, he may just have something after all.

Maybe I will take that program.

What program?

SAP.

What?

Self -analysis program.

What's so funny?

Oh, I'm sorry, Joanie. It's just that I have this picture of Mr.

Ed taking the program and everyone trying to get clear on why he's a horse,

know?

I don't get the humor.

Well, I'll have Wayne explain it to you.

I'd rather you explain what you see in Wayne anyway.

Yeah, what's this about him being a comedian?

Okay, guys, look, I know that he's not Bob Hope, but at least I realize that I

made a mistake.

I think you're jealous, that's why.

Me, jealous? Yeah, I mean, we all met guys at the same time, and yours was the

only one that didn't turn out to be a happy experience.

Hi, Nick.

What's the matter with you?

Is it Craig?

He doesn't like you.

He thinks he loves me.

Oh, how wonderful.

You don't like him?

I think I love him. Oh, Nancy, how wonderful.

Nancy, what's the matter?

What have you been doing in here all day?

Shh. I'm hiding.

Hiding? From them.

Them?

I'll join you.

Oh, Abby.

What? I don't think I can take any of this much longer.

Well, it has been pretty different around here the past few days.

That's just the point. It hasn't been different at all. It's the same way

February. Just look at the last three days.

First Nancy goes out with her new boyfriend. She comes home and she cries

eyes out for two hours.

And Joanie's boyfriend, it's bad enough I can't understand her, Looney. Now I

can't understand her.

Tom. And Mary.

He's the weirdest of all.

I can almost understand Joanie and Nancy, but what can Mary possibly see in

guy?

Tom, her friend may not be at all the same around you as he is around Mary.

she looks at him, she might see a totally different person.

See what I mean about the humor, Mary?

How obvious the comedy image is?

Nothing subtle, nothing sophisticated, but nonetheless hysterical.

Wayne, I have to study now.

I told you that when you phoned.

I know, but I couldn't help myself.

See, I was depressed, and being with you makes me so happy.

Wayne, I think that it's time that we had a talk about us. Say no more, Mary,

you see.

I feel the same way.

Could I be serious for a moment?

You're the first person who's ever accepted me for what I really am.

The total Wayne Maglia.

Not... Just a doctor. Not just an intellect.

But as a funny person as well.

Thank you, Mary.

You're welcome, Wade.

Get up at eight.

Bradford, you've only got three more days.

Ernie, I haven't even seen her this week. You ever heard of a thing called a

telephone? I've been busy.

Besides, why are you so interested in my social life?

Because I'm your best friend.

Who wants to take Candy's best friend to the dance who also doesn't have his own

wheels? Just think about it, Bradford. You and me, driving up with the two best

-looking girls in school.

Well, that does sound pretty nice.

Nice? It's heaven.

Bradford, this may be your last chance.

Now, remember, it's just a pre -orientation lecture, but it'll give you

of what it's all about.

Good. I hope so.

Oh, SAP is a great group of people, Joni. They're friendly and open, and

really sensitive about each other's feelings.

Hello, I'm Ron Cooper.

And I couldn't care less about you.

And frankly, I don't want to care about you.

I don't even care if you care about me.

Because you know what?

I don't care about me.

You see, that's what SAP is all about.

Caring.

I bet you're pretty confused about now, aren't you?

Well, I know how you feel.

Because you know what?

That's right.

I don't care.

Because I don't need to.

The funny thing happens when you no longer need to care.

You do.

I don't believe we're doing this.

Well, you're the one that wanted to know where Botswana was, remember?

I was talking continents, not longitude and latitude.

You know I was kidding.

Well, just think how well informed you'll be now, Greg.

Are you kidding? We have taken out every book that's ever been published on

Botswana. I could run the Chamber of Commerce.

Will you wait?

Someday when you're digging those little holes, somebody's going to ask you

about Botswana and you're going to thank me.

My little holes?

Mm -hmm.

And don't forget, the books are due in five days, so... Don't be late.

That, Miss Bradford, is a virtual impossibility.

One, I'm a speed reader. Taught Evelyn Wood everything she knows.

And two, I'm leaving in three days, remember?

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

We weren't going to bring that up, were we?

That's okay.

I guess I just lost track of time.

Yeah, I've had to stop and figure it out myself.

Greg, you haven't even left yet.

I miss you already.

Nancy.

How do you like the album?

Oh, it's pretty good. Who is it? Book Adelson.

Think they'll play any jazz at the Valentine's Day dance?

Nah. They give the school thing jazz as just a four -letter word.

Listen, Katie...

It's about the dance.

Yeah?

You see, something happened.

I forgot that the dance was, you know, one of those Sadie Hawkins type things.

You know, if a girl asks you, you have to go. And I didn't think anybody would

ask me. But somebody did.

Yeah.

It's a stupid tradition.

I forgot. I'm sorry.

That's okay. Really.

Well, listen.

I won't go. We can do something else that night.

No, you should go.

I understand.

I really do.

It's no big deal.

Well, it's just that... I said I understand.

So what do you want to do now?

I don't know.

We could get some ice cream, maybe.

Yeah, I could use a double.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Jack.

No, Elizabeth's not home. She went to matinee.

Crest, I think.

Alone?

No, she's, um... Hello, Jack?

Well, I hope he's worth it. Jack?

Because you realize this is it.

We're through, Elizabeth.

Finished. The end. Just fade out, all right?

Would you just calm down?

Yeah.

Is he a hunk?

Huh? Is he?

Yeah, yeah. He's pretty cute.

Well, good.

Because you know what?

It doesn't matter to me.

I can tell. Yeah, I found out something about you tonight, Elizabeth.

Hi, Jack. Hi, Nicholas. And that's all I needed to know.

I'm making a fool out of myself, aren't I?

You're kind of quiet.

So are you.

Well, look, I can still... No, it's okay. Remember.

Yeah, I think they're honking at you.

No, I don't think so.

No, I think they are.

Hey, are you deaf?

Bradford, I asked her to the dance.

Candy's friend.

She said yes.

You and I are going to have the best looking girls in school.

I think I'd like to go home now, Tommy.

Yeah, just a minute.

Tom, it's Elliot. Is something about that girl you forced Tommy to go out

Forced? Abby, I never believed me. It was completely his. Here, let me talk to

Elliot.

Yes, Elliot.

He what?

She is.

Oh, well, I'm sure you are.

Well, yes, I will, Elliot. I certainly will.

Dad, Abby, I'm going to give it a try. Try what? The program.

I know it sounds a little strange at first, but I'm sure... I can't talk

it right now. Dad, I need $300 right away. I can talk about it right now.

yes. It's no.

Dad. It's definitely no. I will not do it.

Yes, Elliot, of course I will do it.

I'll get it.

Is Mary home?

Tell him to go away.

Tom. Dad.

Yes, Elliot.

Guess what, everybody?

I'm going to Botswana.

Elliot, I can't talk now. I'll call you back later.

Don't you think that you're being a little irrational?

Love is irrational, Dad.

You've known him for less than a week. It's long enough.

Look, I can't let him go. I've never met anyone like Greg before.

They're around.

Not like him. I'll help you look. We'll hire a service.

Sacramento is a big city. We're bound to find another one.

Don't be ridiculous.

Why not? You are. Do you realize what this could do? I mean, do you have any

idea of the living conditions in Botswana? No, but... You could be living

thatched hut.

I could?

Never mind. My mind's made up. Well, mine is not.

I hardly know this Greg guy. I can't allow you to run off with somebody I

even know. And to Botswana?

You don't have to allow me, Dad.

I'm all grown up, remember?

Well, maybe you're right. You should get to know Greg better.

He can come over tonight.

Well, Abby did want me to take her to a romantic dinner for Valentine's Day.

But under the circumstances, I guess we can eat together.

Oh, great.

Then it's a date.

Oh. Dad, he won't be disappointed. I know it. You'll love him.

Dad, about the program.

Olivia, Liberia.

Dad. Tangier, Kenya. It's got to be here.

You don't even care.

See how easy it is? And I didn't even take the program.

Ken said you'd react like that.

Ken is a smart guy. That's why he wanted to see you, Dad, with me tonight, okay?

To explain the philosophy.

Sorry. Oh, Dad, please, the deadline's tomorrow. Won't you at least listen to

him, please?

I guess it'll be dinner for six.

Hi.

Boy, you look snazzy.

Thanks. So she must be pretty hot.

Yeah.

Your dad told me about Katie.

Yeah, and then after Mr.

Randolph called, he told me a few things.

Abby, can I ask you kind of a personal question?

Sure.

Do you think Dad's good -looking?

Why do you ask that?

I don't know. Do you?

I think your father's a beautiful person.

But is he good -looking?

I don't think I think any more about good -looking or bad -looking.

When I look at your father, I see a whole person.

And to me, he's beautiful.

I can't go out, Wayne.

Yes, I know that it's Valentine's Day, but I have to babysit Nicholas.

Well, they're going out.

Yeah, Elizabeth, too.

Jack told his friends to leave.

Me too, Wayne. I hope that Jack did it with a sense of humor, too.

No, Wayne, you cannot come over tonight.

Wayne, look, I said no, that you can't, okay? If that's it... Wayne?

He thinks I'm joking. I mean, he's actually coming over.

Dad, please help me. I can't spend another night alone with him.

Well, you've got Nicholas.

But you don't understand.

Nicholas thinks he's funny.

Dad, let us go with you.

But, Mary... Dad, please. You've practically got the entire family going

already. What's three more?

I don't know.

Dad, I'm desperate. Please don't let me down.

All right. On one condition.

Anything. He doesn't wear that arrow.

Nicholas, David.

David, you coming with us?

Where?

and the weirdos.

Wait till you see them. They're great.

Well, I'm sure Dad won't mind.

You sure?

You're part of the family, aren't you?

Yeah, it'll be lots of fun.

So you see, David, that's the measure of good comedy.

Whether or not the material can stand up, regardless of the era.

Let's be honest.

Gomer Pyle could work today.

May I share a communication with you, Mr. Bradford?

Oh, sure.

May I call you Tom?

Oh, yes.

Thank you.

You see, Tom, a lot of people go through life thinking that they know what is

and thinking that that isn't.

What they refuse to accept is...

That what is, is.

Uh -huh.

If they just accept what is, then they'd block out all that negative space that

would have been filled up with thinking about all that isn't.

Oh.

Well, yes, that is something to consider.

So Nancy tells me that you're an archaeologist.

That's right.

Botswana's my first major dig.

You see, Tom, what Zap taught me is that you can accept people the way they are,

or you can choose to be unhappy because they aren't the way you wished they

were.

And let's face it, people are the way they are, aren't they?

Unfortunately, yes.

You look so nice.

You look terrific. Ready? Oh, am I ever.

Here, help me out with my coat.

Don't you just love it?

Mark Donahue used to tell me it felt like his father's tiger head rug.

Feels like fur to me.

That's what tiger head is, silly.

But it's really not tiger head. It's really only rabbit.

But I bought it because it looks like mink.

Don't you think so?

Don't you think it looks like mink?

Yeah, I guess so.

Well, of course it does, silly.

They dyed the rabbit so it would look that way.

Now, don't you tell me it doesn't or you'll spoil my whole evening.

It looks like mink.

Thank you.

I think so, too.

Oh, Tommy, we're going to have so much fun.

I have so much to tell you. You have no idea.

And get what you take because you can't take something you didn't get.

I have a communication I'd like to share with you, Ken.

Excellent.

Cram it.

What?

Find a big vacant area somewhere, like between your ears.

All right!

Nicholas.

You can't talk to me like that. You're just a stupid archaeologist.

Ken, you're violating his space. Yeah, I'd like to bust his head. This guy's a

moron. Imbecile would have been a funnier choice of words here, Ken.

Who are you, one of the Three Stooges?

I'm afraid not.

Actually, the Three Stooges were a unique comedy trio.

Oh, shut up! Ken!

I'm sorry, Johnny.

I've had it with this group. I am tired of dealing with closed minds. Let's go.

Uh, no, I don't think so.

You're kidding.

Uh, Ken, what is, is.

And this is good night.

Idiot.

Idiot would have been even funnier.

Idiot. David,

I think it's time.

Yeah, we've got to leave. It's late. I'm going to be going too, Nicholas.

But Mary.

But Mary.

Wait, Mary.

This isn't funny.

See you. Bye.

So, Nancy tells me that you're an archaeologist.

Yes.

Mr. Bradford, I know how sudden all this is with Nancy and me.

But I love your daughter, and she loves me.

Are you sure?

Well, I'm sure about myself.

And Nancy must love me. Otherwise, why would she be willing to give up so much?

What am I giving up? Well, think about it, Mr. Bradford.

I'm going to be working at the dig site at all hours. We won't have much time to

spend together. Living conditions are going to be very primitive.

Primitive? I don't know if we'll even have hot water.

No hot water?

That is primitive.

Who knows when I'm going to get the money together to get us back here.

That's love.

Craig, I think we should talk.

I said those things to your father for a purpose.

Look, we had a wonderful week.

We both got caught up in the excitement.

But now it's over.

I'd hate to end up in Botswana and find out we really didn't know each other.

You know something, you're right.

But I want you to know something.

What?

At the end of one year, there's going to be an archaeologist knocking at your

door.

Well, good, because I'll be there to answer it.

Happy Valentine's Day, Nancy.

Happy Valentine's Day, Greg.

You know, when tonight started, I thought it was going to be a real drag,

turned out to be great.

You sure Candy didn't mind going home so early?

No, no. I think I convinced her that she and the rabbit would be better off back

with Mark Donahue.

Well, you've made this one of the best Valentine's Days I've ever had.

Valentine's Day is over.

So is winter break.

Yeah, I know.

I'm going to miss you, Katie.

Me too.

I'm glad you didn't disappoint me.

I think a lot of you, Tommy.

I'm beginning to think a little more of myself, too.

You guys ready to go?

Yeah, we'll meet you at the banner.

Okay.

You ready?

I guess.

You know something?

You really are a beautiful person.

Hey, thanks.

Don't worry. You'll get better looking with age.

That hurt.

It's all over.

I know.

You made it through another winter break.

Yay.

There were... Be another one until next February.

But let's don't talk about it.

Because I have something to tell you that's very, very, very important.

Oh, no. What?

Happy Valentine's Day.

I thought you guys were finished.

You know, the end, fade out.

It started again.

Sure did.

Oh, great. What am I going to tell those guys who keep calling?

Guys? We're going to be late, Jack. We've got to get going. What guys?

You know, the guys she couldn't get a date with.

He's just kidding.

Nick, Gil, Buck, David, John. Doesn't sound like he's kidding to me.

Jim, Norman, Henry, Hank.

Nicholas.

Bernie. Teddy, Derek.

So I called a couple of old friends.

Walter, Boris, Alan.

A couple?

Peter, Joey.

A few.

Jaime, Lloyd, Buddy, Sam.

It's a new census report.

Greg, Earl, Rusty.

Nicholas, enough!

Would you care to explain?

Well, Jack, we're supposed to spend the vacation together, isn't it? Jack, I'm

going to share a communication with you.

See?

to worry about those guys?

I don't.

Nah, they're what was. You guys are what is.

Is is is and was was was.

Yeah? And is is now.