Original subtitles

Nicholas, what are you doing up? You should have been about a half an hour

Dad, I don't think I can go to bed until I figure something out.

Why?

Well... What's an old wife's tale?

Oh, it's a misconception, Nicholas. It's a story or a saying that's taken as

truth but has no basis in actual fact.

I don't want a definition.

I want an example.

Well...

Can't this wait until morning?

Dad, I don't think I can fall asleep until I figure this out.

All right.

Let's see.

An old wives' tale.

An old wives' tale would... Well, use my definition and you think of one,

too. Okay.

I've got it.

Eat a lot of spinach and get real strong.

No, no, no. That's from Popeye.

Uh, oh, I've got one. An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

No, actually, that's an adage. An adage is different.

I've got it.

Starve a fever, feed a cold.

No, because I read once that there's some truth to that one.

Well, looks like I'm just gonna have to stay up and watch TV till we think of

one.

I've got one, Nicholas.

It just came to me the second.

A little boy that doesn't get to bed on time wakes up in the morning with a very

sore behind.

That's an old wife's tale?

It's an old dad's tale.

Get to bed, Nicholas.

There's a magic in the early morning we found.

When the sunrise smiles on everything around.

It's a portrait of the happiness that we feel and

always will.

We spend our days like bright and shiny new dimes

If we're ever puzzled by the changing times

There's a plate of homemade wishes

On the kitchen window sill And it

is enough to fill our

This was your dress.

Oh, yes, back in the good old days when I wore a size minus thing. Uh -huh.

I found these up in the attic, and I thought maybe Susan could use them.

Dad, aren't they a little old? Yes, I don't think Susan wants her baby

like mothballs, Dad. No, they can be washed. You kids don't realize it's very

expensive to have a baby.

Meryl and Susan are just starting out. They need all the help they can get.

Maybe you're right, Dad. I am right.

And I want you to do me a favor.

The next time you throw a load in the wash, throw these in with them, okay?

Sure. Okay.

Guys, we can't let Dad give Susan these old hand -me -downs. Oh, they're not

that old.

Oh, yeah?

When's the last time you saw a little kid wearing an I Like Ike T -shirt?

No, that's all right.

Come on, Marvin. You've been acting weird all day.

Nicholas, if I told you something, you promise you'd keep it a secret?

Sure. What?

I think I'm... I think I'm in love with Darla Weinberg.

Darla Weinberg?

Come off it.

No, this is serious.

I think I'm really in love with her, but I don't know what to do about it.

Well, why don't you just tell her?

I can't do that. Why not?

I'm too shy.

Well, you can write her a note. Girls love to get notes.

They do?

Sure. Take my word for it.

How come you're such an expert on girls all of a sudden? When you live with a

house beloved, you pick up a few things. Now let's get out of here.

Well, well, what's been taking you so long?

I've been waiting to do that since homeroom. Well, you should have stopped

the hall.

Well, what do you want to do? You hungry?

No, I don't think I can do anything right now.

I'll come.

I promise Liz I'll go shopping with her.

Aren't you forgetting something?

What? Today's our anniversary.

Oh, no.

How could you forget? It was two months ago today we had our first date.

I thought women were supposed to remember things like that. I know.

That's why I planned something very special for tonight.

Yeah, what?

I'm cooking you dinner at my house.

Great, just the way I wanted to celebrate with your parents.

That's what's special.

My parents are going out. We'll have a whole house to ourselves.

How's that sound? Sounds like I'll be there. Okay, good. Around seven?

Yeah, see you then.

Bye, Liz.

in a long time.

Yeah, we saw you out there in the parking lot exercising our senior

with the numero una of the junior class.

Yeah, well, when you got it, you got it.

Yeah, she was a nice girl. Oh, thanks.

Of course, I haven't got time to mess with nice girls.

What's that supposed to mean?

Hey, don't get me wrong. I think girls like that are great for walks in the

and holding hands in the movies.

But when it comes down to real action, they are strictly off limits.

What makes you so sure? Oh, you got something to tell us that'll prove me

Well... Yeah, I didn't think so.

Hey, look, man, I know what's happening.

That's why I don't mess with high school chicks anymore.

You don't? No.

I've moved up to college women.

College women?

Yeah, see, they're a little more, uh, experienced.

Well, all I know is, uh, Jill invited me over for dinner tonight, and she made a

special point of getting rid of her parents.

All right, Bradford.

Well, I better be getting ready.

Catch you later. Have a good time. Hey, Bradford, good luck.

Only if I were you, I wouldn't get my hopes up too high.

I'll never forget him.

How's that orthopedist you were now with? Bob Tackett? Yeah, are you still

seeing him? Oh, off and on.

Actually, I'm thinking about giving up on doctors altogether.

As soon as they find out you're as smart as they are, they get intimidated.

I know what you mean.

And the ones that don't want to talk about medicine all night long.

So I decided to spend all my spare time playing tennis.

That hopeless, huh?

It's about... Now, we won't make a big production out of this. Just us and a

close friends.

About 25 or so.

25 is a big production.

Well, Susan has a lot of friends.

Besides... More guests, more gifts.

True, true.

I think we can handle that in 25.

Oh, hi, Mary. Hi.

Carrie Duran, this is my family. This is Elizabeth.

Hi, Carrie. Nice to meet you. This is Joey.

Hi. And this is Nancy. Hi, Nancy.

Mary, I'm glad you're here. We were just planning a baby shower for Susan.

Yeah, what do you think? Well, it sounds like a great idea, except none of us

know the first thing about having one.

Well, I gave a shower for my sister last year. It's really easy. You know, you

just make a little food and get something to drink and play a lot of

games. We can do that.

What's going on here? An ERA convention?

Tommy,

this is my girlfriend. This is Carrie. Carrie, this is my brother Tommy. Hi,

Tommy. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, Carrie.

You're beautiful.

Oh, thank you.

What are you doing hanging out with Mary?

Cute.

Oh, you must be the brother that breaks all the hearts at Central High.

Well...

Oh, is that our little brother blushing?

Grow up, Elizabeth. If you'll excuse me, I have to get ready for a date.

Jill? Yep, Jill.

She's a lucky girl.

Oh, I'll tell you you said so.

You know, it was nice celebrating this way.

Lucky your parents got those tickets.

It wasn't all luck.

Those tickets took a nice chunk out of my savings account, but it was worth it.

You know, the past couple of months have been pretty nice for me.

Me too.

And I just thought we should make it official.

Oh, Tommy.

Nothing but the best for my woman.

Oh, Tommy.

I love you.

if she doesn't know. Well, now, listen, if it's going to be a surprise baby

shower, we've got to figure out how to get Susan over here. Maybe we could give

Merle to help with that. Oh, yeah, good idea.

Right, I'll call him tomorrow.

Well, is the father supposed to come to the baby shower?

No, traditionally, it's women only.

That feels kind of sexy.

Maybe we should buck tradition and let the men come.

Yeah. I think there's a couple of reasons why it's women only.

Like what?

Men would hate it.

And besides, it would double the gap.

Uh, let's keep it traditional.

Tommy, no.

Why not?

Because I don't want to.

Well, that says a lot for our relationship.

What do you mean?

I mean that when two people are seriously involved in a relationship,

part of it. We're the only couple I know that hasn't gotten past necking. That's

not true.

And besides, I don't care what other people are doing.

We're talking about you and me.

I'm not ready.

Well, I am.

Tommy, I'm only 16.

My parents had started letting me date a year and a half ago.

They tell me I should wait until I get married, and at this point, I'm not so

sure they're wrong.

Are you kidding? This is 1980.

Nobody waits until they get married anymore.

Some people do.

Now, look, maybe someday I'll change my mind, but right now, I'm afraid and I'm

confused. And the least you could do is try to understand that.

All I understand is that it's getting mighty tough to be understanding.

Hi, Tommy.

Hi. How was your date?

Not terrific.

Oh, well, we all have a bad night now and then. Yeah.

Where's Mary?

Oh, she's upstairs getting a book I lent her.

Why don't you keep me company till she comes down?

Sure.

So, Mary tells me you're in a rock band.

Oh, we're just starting. You know, playing some local spots.

I've always found rock musicians irresistible.

Really?

Yeah. As a matter of fact, I made a fool of myself at a Jackson Browne concert

last month.

How? Well, I was sitting in the balcony, getting into his music, you know.

and all of a sudden I had this irresistible urge to go up on the stage

him.

So I went down to the front seats, and I fought my way through the crowd, and

the next thing I know I'm standing on the stage next to his piano.

You're kidding. No, really.

I was two feet away from him when the bouncer threw me off the stage. He

broke a rib.

Well, I'll tell you what.

Whenever we have our first big concert, I'll make sure you get front row seats.

Okay. But would you do me a favor? Would you promise me that if I lose control

and go up on stage, you'll let me touch you before the bouncer drags me off,

okay? Cross my heart.

Cross your heart what?

Nothing, Mary.

Carrie, it was really nice talking to you. I have to go to bed. Good night,

Bye.

That is one cute brother.

Yeah, no one was to love him.

Bet it is.

Oh, hi.

If your heart's set on a shower, you're in for a letdown.

I just used up all the hot water.

That's okay.

Hey, what's the matter?

I'm not too sure I can tell my older sister about this.

Come on.

I can take it.

Step into my arm.

What is it?

Well, I have to make a decision on whether I'm going to see Jill anymore or

Well, why? I thought you guys got along real well.

We do.

So what's the problem?

You know, Jill's kind of straight.

You mean she doesn't fool around?

Right.

And you're thinking about not seeing her because of that?

Tommy, maybe Jill doesn't believe in casual sex.

Well, it's not casual. I really like her.

Then you should be more understanding.

Look, whatever you do, don't push her into it.

You'll lose her for sure.

Maybe that's not such a bad idea.

I mean, there are other girls, you know.

Wouldn't you care about as much as you care about Jill?

Guess I'll never know until I find out, will I?

I still don't know why you can't write this.

You're the one who said he knew so much about girls.

Just don't make it too mushy.

Don't worry, I'm not the mushy type.

Just wanted to make sure.

All right.

How about this?

Dear Darla, I have liked you from the first day of school. I would like to

you sometime after class.

If you want to meet me, leave a note in the cloakroom.

Marvin Harris.

You signed my name.

How else is she going to know who it's from?

I don't want her to know who it's from. At least not yet.

Why not?

She might not show up.

Listen, just sign it. You're a secret admirer.

I'll stick it in her desk before she gets to school.

Me and Darlo Weinberg.

Nicholas, this could be the real thing.

Now, in order for it to be a surprise, you'll have to get her here at 2 o

on the dot.

Susan's gonna love it. But are you sure she's not busy tomorrow?

Don't worry.

Even if she is, I'll make sure she's here at 2.

Great. Well, I think everything's set.

Oh, yeah, except for buying the gifts and the food and the drinks and inviting

everybody.

Well, I forgot a few things.

Hey, you think I can get in here a minute, Rapunzel? I'm in a hurry, huh?

Where are you going?

To meet Jill.

Oh, how are you two doing?

Huh? Not bad.

Thought I'd give her another chance.

Oh, well, in that case, the mirror's all yours. I wouldn't dream of letting Jill

see you with the crow out of plan.

Came by to see if your sister wanted to play a little tennis.

Oh, well, she's still at the hospital.

Oh, I really felt like playing a few sets.

I don't think she'll be home for a while. Hi.

Hey, Tom, will you play tennis?

Well, yeah, I'm not too bad.

Feel up for a little workout?

Sure. Hey, but I thought you were going to go... Elizabeth, why don't you run

along upstairs?

Yeah, okay, I guess I'll run along.

Bye, Carrie. Bye, Elizabeth.

Just give me a minute to change. Yeah, okay.

Got another set in you?

I just went easy on you with Alan.

You're ready to lose big.

I think so, huh?

We'll see about that.

So you're going away for a few days?

Yeah, we reserved a cabin up at Yosemite for next weekend. Oh, it should be

beautiful up there this time of the year. Yeah. Are you sure the army

are down here?

Everything is down here. Why don't you move some of that stuff there? It might

be harder.

Nope.

Hey, is this what I think it is? Uh -huh.

Oh, my gosh.

You know, I moved this down here around ten years ago when Nicholas outgrew it.

Oh, suddenly I feel very old. I mean, I slept in this crib, too.

All eight of you slept in this crib.

Must have been crowded.

Hey, how does it feel knowing that in a few months you're going to be a

grandfather?

Oh, it feels nice.

You know something? If we sanded this down and gave it a coat of paint, it

be as good as new. We could give it to Susan and Merrill on number nine.

Hey, yeah, and if we work on it tonight and tomorrow morning, we could get it

done in time for Susan's shower.

Don't say anything.

I want it to be a surprise for everybody.

Okay, okay.

Let me help you.

Gramps.

Boy, when you get your second wind, you don't mess around, do you?

Well, I try and stay in shape.

I'll say.

I'm used to playing with guys who start feeling their age in the middle of the

second set.

You look terrific out there.

Oh, yeah, I'm a natural -born athlete.

Yeah, well, you look like one.

Thanks.

You know, I really had fun.

It's so hard just to have fun when you're in medical school.

I had a good time, too.

Maybe we could play again tomorrow.

I'd love to, but I got a class till eight.

Oh, how about tomorrow night?

The high school courts are lit.

Well... If you're busy, I... No, it's just that there's this Woody Allen movie

on TV tomorrow night.

Oh, he's terrific.

Yeah. Well, why don't you come over? I'll fix a little dinner. We can watch

together. Well, that sounds decent.

You sure you wouldn't be too bored hanging around with an old woman like

Are you kidding?

I think you're great.

Oh, Tommy, thanks.

How did it go with Jill last night?

Oh, forget Jill.

Oh, you struck out, huh?

No. Just decided to take your advice, Brandon.

I've decided not to mess around with high school girls anymore.

You have?

Yep. Found myself an older woman.

A 25 -year -old older woman.

She's crazy about me.

And she invited me over to her house tomorrow night.

Way to go, Bradford. All right.

Good morning, everybody.

My, don't you look nice today.

As a matter of fact, you all look exceptionally beautiful today.

What's gotten into you?

Gotten into me?

Is there something wrong with showing your appreciation for the women in your

family? Considering that you've never shown it before, yes.

Tommy, would you like some breakfast?

Oh, no, Abby, I really can't. I have to run along to school now. But thank you,

and you all have a nice day, okay?

Oh, yeah.

I guess things are getting better with Jill. Or Carrie.

Carrie?

Carrie?

Tommy.

Oh, Jill, hi.

How you doing? I've been trying to get a hold of you. You have?

Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about yesterday.

What about yesterday? Didn't we have a date?

Yeah, but something kind of came up. What kind of came up?

Well, I had to help my sister's friend, and by the time I got back, it was just

too late.

You could have had the decency to call.

Yeah, I know, and I'm sorry. It won't happen again, okay?

Okay. Well, what about tonight?

Well, tonight's kind of a bad night.

Oh. It's not that I don't want to see you or anything. It's just that I'm kind

of busy.

Okay. Well, we'll make it some other night, then.

Yeah, sure, I'll call you.

Hey, listen, I'll catch you later. I've got to run, okay?

I felt him kick.

Really? Yep.

It felt like paleo was in there. Oh, I don't know, Merle. That might just be my

stomach kicking. I just ate an avocado and chocolate syrup.

Oh.

Well, you know, when you're pregnant, your body craves what it needs.

Your body needed chocolate sauce and avocado?

Yes, and right now it needs french fries and maple syrup.

Oh, wait a minute, honey. Can I ask you something?

Do you have anything planned for tomorrow afternoon?

Not that I know of. What do you have in mind?

Nothing special.

Just thought we could sit in front of the fire. You know, spend some time

together, just the two of us. That sounds real nice.

Promise you'll be here all afternoon.

Oh, I don't know why I wouldn't be.

Great. Could you promise me one more thing? Sure.

Promise you won't eat where I can see you.

I tell you, David, it was like a real

live fantasy.

She came over to the house to see Mary.

I didn't even have to make a move.

I looked at her and she looked at me.

bang, the sparks started flying.

Really?

Sparks in broad daylight?

Wow. David, I'm serious.

Man, you should have seen the way she was coming on to me at the tennis

And then she invited me over for dinner tonight.

Kind of hard to misread those signs, huh?

Sounds great.

Except I thought you were going with a girl at school.

Yeah, well, I don't have time to play footsies with her anymore.

Carrie's got a lot more to offer.

Um, Tommy, how old is Carrie?

Pretty old.

I'd say around your age.

What are you after, social security?

What was that supposed to mean? I can remember you going out with a lot of

chicks. She digs me.

Besides, we have a lot of the same interests. Music, sports.

We relate on a lot of levels.

Tommy, it's a fine line that separates fantasy from reality.

David, this chick means business.

Yeah, whatever.

I gotta split.

Uh, David, could I sort of borrow this?

I don't want to show up empty -handed.

Nicholas, are you sure the flowers and candy aren't too corny?

Don't worry. Girls are suckers for it. I see it on TV all the time.

What if she wants to kiss me or something?

Will you relax?

There's nothing... Nothing to it.

What do I tell her?

Well, just tell her that she's real pretty.

As she starts to talk about her grandparents, just tell her that they

neat. What if she wants to go steady?

Marvin, I wouldn't expect too much on the first date.

Hey, here she comes. Now, you're on your own. Good luck.

You do?

Oh, hi.

Hey, what's that?

What's what?

That. Oh, this is the mattress.

Yeah, well, we can see that, but isn't it a little bit small?

Yes, I'm glad you noticed.

It's for my back exercises.

Back exercises?

Then how come there's monkeys and elephants all over it?

Oh, well, that's because circus performers use them.

Oh, heavy date tonight, huh? Yep.

Let's see, Jill?

Nope.

Carrie.

Carrie?

My friend, Carrie?

That's right.

Tommy, you have no business going out with Carrie.

What's the matter? Don't you think I'm good enough for your friend?

I don't think you're old enough.

Well, she does, and that's all that matters.

You see, Mary...

Some women can recognize the fact that my maturity goes way beyond my years,

Carrie happens to be one of them.

Tommy, don't be naive.

Look, Mary, why don't you knock off the mother hen routine, okay?

I'm a big boy perfectly capable of handling my own love life without any

from you. Tommy, there's someone here to see you. I'll be right down.

Tommy, please will you wait a minute?

Mary, I don't want to have to tell you again. Keep your nose out of my

Hi, Tommy.

So, uh, what's happening?

That's what I wanted to know this morning.

But that was before I went to Benny's and heard all about your latest

Oh, I don't know what you're talking about.

Look, Tommy, I don't like being strung along.

Now, apparently this doesn't mean anything to you. So why don't you just

back? Slow down. Give me a chance to explain.

You know, if you really cared about me, the least you could have done is kept it

a secret.

Jill wait a minute.

I just hope you get what you want

You know, wait a minute. Let me help you with that. This is going to be tricky.

Sorry. Oh, no. Of course. Just add a little flavor. Whoops.

Hey, thanks for bringing wine. That was real nice. Sure. Just a second.

Okay.

There you go.

Well, here's looking at you, kid.

Thank you.

You know, we've only been friends for a couple of days, but I feel really close.

Oh, that's nice. I feel close to you, too.

Maybe it's because of your eyes.

I never realized they were so deep.

You have beautiful hair. Tommy, what are you doing?

You know what I'm doing. No, I don't. You know me.

Tommy, I don't know what you expected tonight, but... Wait a minute. You were

all over me at the tennis court.

Tommy, I think you should leave.

She really threw you out?

Are you kidding? I thought she was going to call the vice squad.

Well, look at the bright side.

At least you still have Jill.

No, I don't.

She heard about Carrie and she gave me my ring back.

What a mess.

How do these things happen?

Hey, Bradford.

You don't look any different.

What's that supposed to mean?

Yeah, I don't know.

I just figured after your date with the older woman, you'd look a little

different, that's all.

Lay off, Brandon.

Oh, don't tell me you blew it.

You know, I had hopes for you, Bradford.

Brandon, why don't you shut up?

Don't tell me to shut up. Somebody should have told you to shut up a long

ago if it weren't for you and your big mouth. Hold it. Who's got a big mouth?

You do. Because of you, Jill found out about Carrie.

Hey, you weren't exactly keeping it a secret, you know.

Listen, Bradford.

You want to stop people from talking, you begin by keeping your own mouth

huh?

What are

you

doing up so late?

I had so much on my mind about the shower, I couldn't sleep.

You're home kind of late from your date, aren't you?

My date ended about nine o 'clock.

I've been wandering around trying to get things straight in my mind ever since.

What's wrong?

My love life is in ruins, that's all.

What happened?

Jill dumped me because she found out I was seeing Carrie.

And Carrie kicked me out of her apartment because I tried to put the

her. You tried to put the make on Carrie?

I thought she wanted me to.

You mean you wanted her to want you to?

All I know is I've lost them both.

Tommy.

You never had Carrie in the first place. But I had Jill.

Well, then I hope you learned something.

What, I'm a total jerk?

No.

But caring for somebody is a lot more important than just sleeping with them.

Yeah.

I just want to think of Jill and how I feel about her.

that stuff seems important anymore.

It's a tough lesson to learn.

Doesn't do him any good now.

Well, maybe not.

But you'll know the next time.

And you won't make the same mistake.

You gonna go up to bed?

No, I think I'll stay here a bit longer.

Okay.

Good night, Tommy.

Thanks, Nance.

Marvin, I told you I didn't know Darla had a crush on me.

And if I did, would I have written that letter?

Yeah. she asked me to go to the movies.

Well, you know I wouldn't be a rat like that and just go.

I told her I had to ask you first.

Hold it. Mom and... Why are

they so little?

Well, they're finger sandwiches. They're supposed to be little.

Yeah, what's all this green stuff?

Oh, Nicholas, put those down. They're for the baby shower.

Why are they... Why do they call it a baby shower?

Because the baby is showered with gifts.

But it's not even here yet.

Well, it's not really for the baby. It's more for the mother so that she'll have

things when the baby arrives.

Well, why don't they just call it a mother shower?

Nicola, why don't you go over to Marvin's for the afternoon?

I can't. He's mad at me.

Well, you have to go someplace.

No men are allowed at the shower.

Well, then I'll just go to Merle's house.

These tea makes a decent sandwich.

You can't go to Merle's. Merle's bringing Susan over here.

Boy, the kid isn't even born yet, and he's already a pain.

Hi. Merle called you? Yeah, yeah. I talked to him this morning. He said he

going to go jogging, and then he brings Susan over when he got back. Great.

Susan!

Clothes? Oh, heck, Susan.

It's perfect, but... Right, of course.

Hello?

Merle, where are you?

Shopping. Hey, you've got to shake a leg. We've already got guests.

Okay, here. Merle, that's Susan.

What? Look, Merle, you've got to find her quick.

Well, what does she look like?

Well, she's pregnant.

Just about every woman who comes in here is pregnant.

Oh, yeah.

Well,

she has red hair, and she wouldn't buy anything that wasn't natural and

Oh, that was your wife.

Yeah, she was here. She left a little while ago.

Oh, brother.

Thank you.

Of course.

Mary, I don't know if you heard about what happened at my apartment last

Yeah, I got a fourth -hand report.

Look, I'm really sorry.

Tommy's... Ah, it wasn't all Tommy's fault.

Look, is he around?

I'd really like to talk to him.

Yeah, he's in his room. Why don't you go on up?

Come on in.

Tommy?

Got a minute?

Yeah, come on in.

Tommy, I came to apologize for the way I acted with you.

You want to apologize to me?

Don't you think it should be the other way around?

I might have said or done something that made you believe that I was...

Thinking of you as more than a friend, and if I did that, I'm so sorry.

That's okay.

I wanted to believe it.

It's not that I don't find you attractive.

It's just that I think that you need someone your own age.

Yeah.

I had someone, but... I blew it.

Jill?

Yeah.

I guess I really hurt her.

Because of me?

It's not your fault.

It's mine.

I just wish there were some way I could take it all back.

Well, you can't do that.

But, you know, I thought I had hurt you.

And I knew that if I came over here and spoke with you honestly and openly about

it, we'd both go away feeling a whole lot better.

Jill won't even see me.

Well, maybe not, but it's worth a try, isn't it?

Certainly have an interesting family, Mrs. Ruff. Yeah, they sound real funny,

too.

Have I told you about little Bobby?

Yeah, I think he did right after Chubby Kathy.

How about Sarah?

Sarah? Oh, Sarah was my first.

The first is always the roughest, all those false alarms. And my husband, you

should have seen him. Mr. Cool, calm, and collected.

It was a miracle I got to the hospital.

Well,

would you excuse us? We have to... Oh, sure.

Hi, there. How many kids do you have? I have four.

Working on the fifth.

You guys are getting restless.

And boring. Where's Susan?

I don't know. Has anybody heard from Merle? No.

Well, what are we going to do? We have 20 women out there that are bored stiff.

Let's not panic or anything like that.

No. Well... I've got an idea.

Okay, everybody.

Now, the game that we're going to play is called How Well Do You Know the

to Be? And it's really simple. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to ask you

question. Everybody listening?

Uh -huh. Good.

And what I'm going to do is ask you the question and you supply the answer that

you think Susan would give. Okay. The first question is, if Susan... As a boy,

what would she want him to grow up to be?

A, a baseball player.

Aww.

B,

an aluminum siding salesman.

C, an organic dirt farmer.

Or D, a beekeeper.

Okay, everybody, you can write it down.

Isn't this fun?

Okay, everybody, since we all had so much fun answering the first

question, we're going to do it again, but we're going to answer a different

question this time.

First,

what we'll do is divide this group into pinks, and then we're going to divide

this group into blues, okay? So if you guys are all ready now, we'll start

away. All right. Get your pencils ready.

Okay. Now, all the pink people, raise your hand.

That's good. Good.

Now, if you were going to have a baby... Well,

your family's waiting for us for lunch.

Oh, what's going on?

Susan. Susan!

Surprise!

Missed a good movie yesterday.

Don't tell me you went with Darla.

No, I went with Kenny P. Landers. He knows a neat way to sneak in all the

You know something?

This is kind of stupid.

I mean, us being mad at each other over a girl.

I know. Six weeks ago, I didn't even like girls.

I don't know what it is.

Sometimes girls can just make you do dumb things.

For sure.

You want to be friends again?

Yeah, us guys need to stick together.

Would you believe she got two of everything?

Okay,

this is for me, Susan. Okay.

David, what are you doing here? Quiet, Counselor. Susan, Dad and I have

something we'd like to show you.

Oh, look!

Susan,

this is for you and my future grandchild. It's the Bradford crib.

Oh, thanks, Dad.

Every Bradford has spent a night in this crib, from David on down.

In fact, I spent many a night sitting next to it when you were sick and I was

trying to sing you to sleep.

It's the most beautiful present I'll get, Dad.

Thank you.

Dad, that's what you've been hiding all these days. Yeah.

David and I refinished it and put in a new mattress.

You know, Susan, it's not totally unselfish. I figure by the time you and

are through with it, Janet and I might have need for it.

Forget it, Tommy. It's over.

I know. Jill, just please listen to me for one minute.

Okay. But only for a minute.

But look, I was a jerk for the way I treated you.

I'm sorry.

I really am.

And I know you don't believe this right now, but I really do care about you.

You're right. I don't believe it.

Okay, so you hate me and you don't want to see me again. I can understand that.

But please believe me.

I really feel bad for what I did.

Nobody deserves to be treated that way.

Especially when you care about somebody as much as I care about you.

I made a mistake, a big mistake.

I hope I didn't hurt you too much.

I'm okay.

Well, that's all I wanted to say.

Don't leave me alone.

Tommy, thanks for telling me that.

I don't deserve thanks.

My thing in school tomorrow?

It just occurs to me, we never gave Susan the old baby clothes.

Well, that's why we gave the baby shower, so Susan could have some new

Oh.

Yeah, but there was a whole box full, whatever became of them.

Oh, I think the girls were talking about donating them to the Smithsonian.

Come on, you guys.

Hi. Hi, where are you guys going? Well, we're going to take back the gifts we

got for Susan. Why isn't Susan helping you? Well, she's taking back all the

stuff Merle bought when he was out looking for her. See you later. Bye.

Bye.

Nicholas! Nicholas, don't you want breakfast?

No, I'm kind of in a hurry. Where are you going?

Well, me and Marvin want to get to know this new girl in the neighborhood.

But, Nicholas, don't you remember the last time you and Marvin got involved

the same girl?

Yeah, but this is different. I mean, we don't even like this girl.

Why do you want to get to know a girl you don't even like?

She's got a ping -pong table.

See ya.

He's your son.