Original subtitles

Last on part one of this special episode of Eight is Enough.

Everybody should hear the good news.

Susan and I are going to Puerto Rico.

Puerto Rico?

To pitch in the Winter League. We'll be taking off tomorrow.

Not we, Merle.

If you want to go to Puerto Rico, you can go by yourself.

Joni, I only have a semester and a half till I graduate.

What about my career?

Okay, say you don't go with him. Where does that leave you?

Look, Tony, it hasn't been all champagne and roses with Merle and me. Maybe this

is what we needed.

What?

What? A separation?

If you change your mind, there's plenty of money in the checking account for a

plane ticket. Merle, I don't think I'll be changing my mind.

I hope you're not giving up completely. I mean,

I hope there's still a chance.

I still love Merle, Dad.

Just, I don't know.

I don't know right now.

Okay.

Let's go home.

My home or your home?

Our home.

And now, tonight's conclusion.

When the sunrise smiles on everything around.

It's a portrait of the happiness that we feel and

always will.

Waited enough to fill our lives with love.

Always spend our days like bright and shining.

The changing time There's a plate of

homemade wishes On the kitchen window sill

And it is enough to fill our lives with

You're wrong, Bradford.

Juicy Harvey's Fish and Chips beats El Taco Terrific any time. I hate fish.

We're not talking fish. We're talking women.

I heard Harvey's is currently the best hit -on place in Sacramento.

Even college girls go there.

Even secretaries.

Secretaries? Yeah, after a lonely day at the typewriter.

So they're starved for companionship.

Okay, let's throw the old latch. We'll check it out. All right.

Secretaries, huh? Sounds like a lot of fun.

I thought you were supposed to be at the TV station instead of here stealing TV

sets. I thought Susan ought to have something to stare at besides the

You mean she's hiding out in bed again?

Yeah. I can't really blame her. How would you feel if your husband preferred

winter baseball to your marriage?

Now, wait a second, Joanie.

That's not exactly being fair to Merle.

I mean, he had a right to take that Puerto Rico contract.

If Susan can have a career, well, then why can't he?

Look, Mary, I don't know why they split up.

All I know is Susan's in a really bad way.

If I had to do a role calling for mental depression, I'd play it just how she

looks. That's hardly a medical opinion.

True.

So, look, if you don't believe me, why don't you go try to get her back into

world, okay?

With the television?

Yeah, whatever it takes.

Listen, you going downtown?

Yeah. I could really use a lift to work. I missed one bus already.

I suppose we can drop you off. Get in. Thanks.

Come on.

All right.

Tommy, hold it!

Tommy, wait!

Hey, Tommy, if you're going downtown, I need a ride.

Sorry, sport, but there's no room.

Tommy, what do you mean? There's plenty of room.

Yeah, but Ernie and I have an appointment some other time.

Well, I need it right now.

That's right, Tommy. I promised Nicholas that when we were finished at the

dentist, he could buy a brand -new basketball at Martinson's Clearance

Well, can't you take him? Why?

And waste all that gasoline when you're practically going to the same place?

Climb in there, little Nicholas, and Tommy will take good care of you. But

real close to him. Come on, Nicholas. Let's go, Tommy. I'm late.

For crying out loud, Nicholas.

This is what I have always worked for, an efficient carpool.

Toodle -oo.

Well, if you don't want to watch TV, you could always get up.

Look, we could go to the Green Mandarin to get some Chinese food, then take in a

movie. Your choice, my treat. I don't think so.

Well, then how about the basketball game? Look, I heard Sac State has one of

cutest dribblers in 20 years.

Now, I know how much you like dribbling. Forget it, Mary.

Susan, listen to me. When someone has surgery, we encourage them to get up and

start moving as soon as possible.

Well, you've had an emotional kind of surgery, and you need the same kind of

therapy. Mary, did Joanie put you up to this?

It's just that we're both really worried about you.

Well, then I'll tell you the same thing I told her.

Please, just leave me alone.

This isn't Martinson's. We'll get to Martinson's later, Sport.

Right now, Ernie and I got to check this place out.

Well, let's check it out. Not you, Nicholas. You'll scare them off.

Scare who off? Never mind. Just wait here.

I don't want to just wait here.

Well, you're not just waiting. You're guarding the van.

I am?

Well, yeah.

We can't risk leaving this here alone. It's a very rough neighborhood.

I don't know, Bradford.

It's a pretty big job.

You think Nicholas can handle it?

I can handle it. You said yourself I'd scare them off.

You're right, Ernie. You said it yourself.

Let's go.

We have met before.

I beg your pardon?

I mean, we may appear to be strangers, but we once lived in the same village on

an island in the Aegean Sea.

Ah, no, I'm afraid there must be some mistake. I've always lived in

Oh, this was thousands of years ago, before Sacramento.

Oh, right, this is some kind of prank, right?

Hey, who put him up to this? Come on.

I see you walking on a steep hillside.

And you're gathering herbs. You're some kind of a priestess. And I'm a humble

shepherd.

And the vision fades.

You really believe that?

Who are you? Andre.

Andre Jerome.

And this will explain what I believe in.

Psychic breakthrough in contemporary California. You'll find my thoughts on

reincarnation in chapter seven.

Telekinesis.

Telepathy, premonition.

You wrote this?

Except for three chapters transmitted to me while I was serving as a medium.

It was in that state that I was directed to you.

To me?

Well, actually, to the station.

You see, I believe my studies need a wider audience.

And I was told at the reception desk that you were in charge of interviewing

prospective guests for Jeffrey Trout's talk show.

Oh, I see.

Well, uh... We're pretty booked up right now, Mr. Jerome, but thank you very

much. But, Andre, call me Andre. We have known one another for thousands of

years. And before you give me a complete no, can we try an experiment?

I sense that you're very worried about someone.

Ah, well, everybody's worried about somebody.

I sense that you're very worried about...

Your sister.

That's the best hit -on spot in Sacramento?

I don't understand it. I hear guys have to fight them off in there.

Yeah, you must have heard backwards, because they kept treating me like I was

the invisible man.

I'll tell you one thing, Bradford.

I wouldn't go out with any of those four and a half. Then why did you keep

asking those four and a half?

Uh, just to test the law of averages.

Yeah, well, it doesn't work for us.

Hey, would you look at that?

Isn't that precious? He's on guard duty.

What's your name?

Good morning.

Did you hear that?

Isn't he the cutest? I could take you home just to come.

Did you see that?

We strike out and your little brother gets the chicks.

It's not fair.

Don't think about justice, Ernie. Think about opportunity.

Who's your friends?

Hi. Hi, I'm Tommy, and this is Ernie. I'm his older brother. I'm sure you can

see the resemblance.

I want you to know, Mr. Jerome, that I do not believe very much in ESP or any

that. I'm sure there's a very reasonable explanation as to how you knew about

Susan. Susan?

Yes, my sister.

That might prove something. You didn't even know her name, did you?

Well, I do now.

Susan is very interesting from a numerological standpoint.

You do numerology?

When the vibrations are right.

How are the vibrations now?

Propitious.

Susan recently suffered a loss.

You can see that?

I can see many things with my eyes closed.

Well, like what?

Is Susan going to be all right?

I see a stranger entering her life.

Stranger?

Someone new.

Someone important.

No, no, no, no. You can't see that. See, Susan's married.

Well, I mean, she's separated, and her husband's in Puerto Rico, but it's only

been a few weeks, and you can't see a stranger.

I'm sorry.

I only see what I see.

It's a definite stranger.

Susan, are you sure you won't come down to dinner?

I don't feel up to it, Dad.

Look. I know it seems like a terrible effort, but believe me, once you get out

of bed and see the beautiful carrot cake that Abby bought, I tell you, you'll

feel like a million dollars.

I'll be fine right here, Dad, really. I wish I could believe that.

Well, believe what?

Susan, we're all very concerned about you. We know what an ordeal you've been

through, and we want to help.

Oh, thanks, Abby, but I'm afraid this is one I'll have to work out myself.

Well, maybe you could work it out faster if you'd see somebody who, well, who

knew how to handle the kind of feelings that you're having, someone

professional.

Are you saying I should see a shrink?

A psychologist. And I can recommend this Dr. Koenig very highly. She's a lovely

woman. You'll like her very much.

This has nothing to do with my psychology.

Of course it does. The reason that you're physically exhausted is because

suffering from a severe case of mental and emotional stress. And it's about

we deal with it. I could see 40 psychologists and none of them would

I guess I just can't lie around here anymore hiding, pretending it'll go

Pretending what will go away?

You might as well know.

I'm afraid I'm pregnant.

Remember now, there are such things as false pregnancies.

I had all the same symptoms that you do. But you weren't this sure.

Yes, I was.

Well, here we go.

Every test in the book.

Hold my hand.

So what's the official verdict, Dr. Max?

Do I have to be official?

Can't your old Uncle Max tell you that you're going to make a wonderful mother?

Then I am?

If anyone ever was.

I knew it.

He's right. You know, you'll make a wonderful mother.

When, Dr. Max?

In about 230 days.

Give or take a few anxious nights. But you'll be fine. Everything is normal.

You're quite healthy, you know.

Must have an outstanding family doctor.

Personally, I wouldn't blame you if he decided to name a boy Maxwell or a girl

Maxine.

Pay attention, Susan.

Laughing mothers make laughing babies.

And those were the jokes.

Sorry, Dr. Max, I just don't feel like laughing.

Susan,

are you considering, under the circumstances with your husband, are you

considering... Not having this child? I wouldn't do that. I couldn't.

Then cheer up.

It's not the end of the world. It's a new beginning. But why now?

I know. Mothers with lousy timing make babies with lousy timing.

I'm going to give you your first prescription, Susan.

No resentments.

You will welcome this child.

And you'll make the best home you can.

Starting right now.

I'll love my baby, Dr. Max.

Really, I will.

Thanks for calling, Abby.

Have you told Dad yet?

Yeah, don't blame me. It'll take me a while to get up the nerve, too.

Bye -bye.

It's true?

Susan is... In about two months, is.

You mean it wasn't psychosomatic?

Oh, poor Susan.

What did we say to her? Yeah, really.

Hey, Susan, we heard the great news. You lost a husband, but you gained a baby.

How could Merle do a thing like that? You want the whole medical lecture?

You know what I mean. How could Merle desert a wife who was pregnant?

Merle doesn't know.

He doesn't?

Well, I didn't even suspect it myself before he left.

You know how tense things were the last few weeks we were together.

When I went off schedule, I just figured it was emotional strain.

When I moved back home and it happened again, that's when I knew for sure. I

couldn't face it.

Had you been in touch with Merle? Of course not.

So he has no idea?

No, we hardly even talked about children. They were just something we

someday when we were good and ready.

That's a laugh.

But if Merle wanted children, then he should be real happy to hear this. Why?

He'll just see there's one more weight dragging him away from the major

How do you know if you haven't told him? I know him. I know him better now than

when I married him, which was my first mistake.

I was lecturing Susan. There was a baby. That's right.

How could I have been so wrong?

Relax, Joanie. None of us guessed it.

I know, but none of you share your room and your lives with Susan. I should have

been able to sense something this momentous.

Joanie, come on. You're not a mind reader.

No, I'm not a... Andre.

He was right.

He said there would be someone new in Susan's life. That's it.

Who's Andre?

He's somebody I met at the station. He's a psychic.

Uh -huh.

Come on, Joanie, you don't believe that kind of mumbo -jumbo, do you?

He did say that Susan would suffer a loss, which was moral, right? And then

predicted Susan's baby before even she knew for sure.

Well, maybe he's a good guesser.

Maybe we should all read his book. It might be kind of interesting.

Does he make any predictions about the stock market?

Only that it goes up and that it goes down.

Cynic. Patsy. All right, if you don't want to read Andre's book, how about a

little Shakespeare?

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in

philosophy. Shakespeare said that? He did?

Sounds kind of cliche. I think I'd rather read Andre.

Yeah, Andre.

I wonder what else he knows about Susan's future.

Lots of ways of helping people.

Tony, you're not.

I predict she is.

Nicholas, make a left.

Yeah, I like this spot. We can, uh, we can hide around that thing over there.

Yeah, this spot will be perfect.

Okay, Nicholas, sit down and take off your skates.

But I just got them on.

Take them off.

Okay, but just remember, you only paid me for an hour. I know, I know. Now, as

soon as you get them all unlaced, just sit there and look helpless.

Why should I look helpless?

I've been lacing shoes since I was three.

The chicks won't know that.

Exactly. So just sit there and look helpless.

Oh, and precious.

Precious. You guys want your money back?

Careful, Ernie. You're going to blow the deal.

Let's get out of here before any chicks come.

Don't you think it's time you tell Merle? Forget it, Dad. I'm not going to

Merle just yet. Susan, I can't believe that.

I've got a lot of things to figure out. I'm not ready for Merle. But he's the

father of your child.

He doesn't have to know that right now.

Abby, do you hear what I'm hearing?

Yes, and I think we should just listen to him. Well, I will, I will. It's just

that I should think you'd be very eager to tell Merle about it. Why? Because

this changes the whole complexion of the separation.

Everything is different now. Is it?

Well, yes.

I mean, in case you haven't been listening to what you came here to tell

there's a child to be considered.

Dad, that's exactly what I am telling you.

There is a child now, and I'm not going to risk the future happiness of that

child. You're not?

Well, then how come you're overlooking the fact that children need fathers?

Children need love, and Mo and I didn't have enough of that to keep us together.

A child might give you a new reason to find that love.

No, Dad.

A child is the wrong reason.

Bradford, some chicks finally stopped.

Come on.

Nicola? Do people ever call you Nikki?

Not if I can help it.

Darling, would you like to skate with us?

Hello, ladies.

Can we be of any assistance?

Yeah, any assistance?

Can't you see we're busy?

No, we just want to help.

Can you get lost?

We're talking to this nice young man.

That's okay. Talk to Tommy. That's the whole idea.

What?

Well, why else would I let you tie my dumb skin?

You mean you need to use him to get girl?

Creep.

Nicholas, we're going to have to make a few improvements.

I mean, that's the way it had to be.

Mary has a career.

Nancy wouldn't want to complicate her wardrobe.

Elizabeth's too young.

I kind of look at myself as the indulgent aunt who sweeps in from Paris

like any bee.

I mean, there's no doubt about it. You're the perfect and inevitable mother

this family.

Yeah, but you expect me to be happy about it.

Well, I am happy about it.

Susan, I... I mean, I will be happy about it.

But so it's complicated right now.

I know you'll work it out.

Starting where?

Doing what?

Well, Joanie, I'm so confused, and the advice I get just makes me more

Oh, from Dad, right? From everybody.

Well, we're just trying to help you.

I need more than help.

I need a miracle.

Oh, I know.

I know.

Well, frankly, I'm becoming a little less skeptical. Oh, I could have

that. Oh, good.

Here, take a seat.

Thank you.

But, of course, I'm going to need something a little more convincing if

going to recommend that you be on Mr. Trout's talk show. Oh, well, I can bend

few spoons, I think.

Well, that's nice and visual, but I was thinking of something with a little more

human interest.

I'm trying to read your mind, but these fluorescent lights cause a lot of

static. Oh.

I'm thinking about my sister.

Ah, Susan.

Yes. What about her?

Well, you see, I'm very concerned about her, and I thought that since you picked

up on her problems quickly, well, it would make an interesting scientific

experiment if... If I examined her future.

Yes, now you're reading my thoughts.

Well, you know, no one understands static. It comes, it goes.

Susan, that's an interesting challenge.

Well, I thought as long as you wanted to do something psychic and I wanted to

help my sister Susan, that maybe we could work together.

I'll have to get back to you.

Why? Is this some kind of a stall?

Oh, no, no. No, why should I stall?

I mean, you know how much I want to get my message across to Sacramento on Mr.

Trout's talk show.

No, the problem is I have to check this out.

Oh, you mean with... With...

You're both talking like this is only Susan's concern.

Merle is a fine boy. He shares in this. He should know about it. Well, of course

he does.

Look, Tom, Susan is very confused, and she's frightened.

Well, I just think that we should give her a day or two before we cause her any

more pain.

Oh, it might not be pain.

Something like this could bring them both to their senses.

It could make them see what marriage is all about. That it's not just some

casual arrangement, some modern dance where you leave your partner the first

time your toes get stepped on.

This can't just be what Susan wants or what Merle wants. There's a child now.

Don't you think Susan knows that?

And this child is also Merle's. That's true.

And it's my first grandchild.

I know. If she won't tell him, I'll have to tell him.

That's blackmail.

Well, Susan, he's worried about his grandchild.

He thinks that this is a way to bring you and Merle back together and give

baby a happy home.

Didn't he hear anything I said?

Merle and I stopped being happy.

We couldn't agree on anything.

Abby, I'm not going to raise my child on some battleground.

I've seen kids from homes like that at the daycare center.

They're in shock, like refugees.

Believe me, Dad wouldn't want his own grandchild raised like that.

Well, regardless, he thinks that Merle should be told as soon as possible.

No, Dad's not going to push us back together for the wrong reasons.

I've made up my mind. My baby's not going to be some baseball gypsy.

She'll have a stable home and all the love that I can give her.

Oh, yes, and all the love that you can give her. But what about Merle?

I'm not going to raise my child in an unhappy home.

I've decided to get a divorce.

Susan.

Susan.

It wasn't the shrimp's fault. We just didn't coach him enough.

What's this we stuff?

He's your brother, Bradford.

Just straighten him out.

If he doesn't do what you tell him, just pound his head.

Ernie, you're obviously ignorant to the ways of a little brother and a big

father. I just don't want to miss out on any more opportunities.

I think one of those girls was probably a divorcee. Nah, they were too young.

Not the one with the green eyes.

She looked divorced.

I can tell. How?

Well, the way she came on to me.

She didn't come on. She cut out.

It was the way she cut out.

Experienced.

Provocative.

If I'd only had another ten seconds with her.

You know something, Ernie?

You are weird, man. You are really weird.

But you are right. We do have to straighten Nicholas out and try again.

So you wait here. I'll get the kid.

Okay, you guys, here's Mary.

Hang on.

You've got to be kidding me. You call yourself a scientist. Where's your open

mind? Joanie, I don't want my mind so open that it just falls out.

She has a point.

See, the word seance is a bit passe.

It would be more accurate to describe what we will attempt this evening as an

exploratory analysis of multi -spectrum communication.

Well, call it anything you like, as long as it helps Susan.

Oh, you mean you two are going to go along with this?

Well... There's nothing on the tube but re -rinse, so it's either seance or

homework. If Elizabeth and Nancy can do it, so can you, right, Mayor?

Oh, come on, please.

Andre says that we need lots of bodies to generate lots of vibrations.

Yeah, well, I'm really sorry, Andre and you guys, but my vibrations have a

previous commitment.

Hi.

That's too bad.

It's going to leave us with a pretty weak signal.

Is there anyone else available?

Well, there's Susan. We could ask her. That's who we're trying to help.

Forget Susan.

Why? Well, Dad had to see her for some reason. He looked real grim, and he

locked the door.

Really? Yeah.

So what do you say we get started?

She can use all the help she can get.

Yes, Dad, a divorce.

Oh, you can't be serious.

Call Janet. She's coming over here tonight with David. I'm going to ask her

be my lawyer. Wait a minute, Susan, please. Now, just slow down.

You haven't even told Merle that he's going to have a baby. When he hears

everything might change.

But, Dad, you know Merle.

His ideas on marriage are right out of the last century.

When I do tell him, he'll just order me to be a dutiful wife and a housebound

mother. I don't even want to argue it with him. He'll just have to know right

off that it can't happen. Susan, you don't understand.

A man feels very differently about a woman that's going to have his child.

Merle might change.

Dad, it doesn't work like that.

Babies don't change a bad relationship. They just add more strain.

No, it's better to face the inevitable right now.

Susan.

I walked with you down the winning aisle. I saw the way you looked at Merle

the way he looked at you.

Now, come on. I can't believe that that love between you two could vanish so

fast. But you're the one who told me I was wrong to rush into marriage.

I didn't listen to you then, but I agree with you now.

But you did get married, and now you're having a child. You can't change that.

So don't rush out of it.

Back off from what you want.

Think about Merle. Tell him about his child.

It's no use, Dad.

Then I'll tell him. No.

Not till I talk to Janet. Not till I'm ready.

I think I have to tell him. Don't. Dad, I'll tell him. And if you or anybody

else in this family interferes in this, I'll use blackmail, too.

Blackmail?

I'll go away.

You'll never see your grandchild.

Ever.

Okay, Nicholas, we'll rehearse it once more.

Now stand there.

and pretend I'm a girl.

If you were a girl, I wouldn't stand. I'd run.

Nicholas, just do what he says.

If you blow it again, we don't pay you.

All right, I'm standing.

Now, when I walk up and start telling you you're cute, you just smile.

Keep your mouth shut.

Would you tell him to make up his mind?

How can chicks say this kid is precious?

Tommy, Nicholas, Susan wants to see you in her room. Susan, why?

Just talk to her.

Is there anything wrong?

You look pale.

You heard me.

Concentrate.

We're pushing beyond the barrier.

Focus.

Now focus.

I see a strong light.

It's coming nearer.

Don't be disturbed if you feel a sudden chill.

Don't worry if the table begins to shake.

Or if you hear a sudden noise.

Who is that?

It's us. Why is the door locked?

Tell me. Come on in quick. What is going on?

It's a sale. No, it's not a sale.

What kind of a sale?

We're doing it for Susan.

Somebody better do something for Susan.

She just laid this whole guilt trip on us about not telling Merle about her

condition. Us too.

I keep asking everybody.

What condition?

Are these constant interruptions necessary?

I am trying to find guidance for your sister.

I know, Andrew. We'll get right back to it.

We could really use some help, you guys. Could you sit down and join us?

It'll be great. Come on, move over here. Here, Nicholas, here.

Where's the cards and chips?

Nicholas, this isn't poker.

Didn't you hear, sport? We're having a seance.

I've never played seance.

What do you do?

Well, if we were smart, we'd get up and go play poker.

No, you'd shut up and hold hands.

Hold hands!

What a great gimmick, Bradford.

If we ever meet any girls, we've got to try this.

Shh! Please be quiet and listen to Andre.

Everyone, close your eyes.

Be absolutely quiet and concentrate.

Concentrate.

Concentrate.

Of course, Susan, if that's the way you want it. All right, now, are you

satisfied? Everybody has agreed there will be no family meddling between you

Merle. We're all going to stay neutral.

Well, I'm sorry, Dad, but you left me no choice.

Oh, Susan, believe me, you haven't even begun to count your choices.

Hello, everybody. I'll be right with you, Janet. Janet, come on in. See if

can talk some sense into her, because I can't. Well, I hate to be rude, Dad, but

I'd really like to talk to my attorney alone.

Come on, Janet. All right, and I'm going to stay neutral now. Don't forget.

Janet, didn't David come with you? Oh, yes, Dad. He's down in the living room

helping Johnny with something.

Excuse me.

David?

Boy, oh, boy.

I mean, do I deserve this? In an upstairs bedroom, I have a pregnant

here discussing divorce, and downstairs in my living room, the rest of my

children are conducting a seance.

Maybe it's to test your sense of humor.

Well, then I just flunked.

They didn't give their marriage a chance.

What do they expect? A few minutes of romantic fever earns them happiness

forever? Nobody has to change? Everybody gets exactly what they want?

You don't sound very neutral.

Wasn't she watching?

Didn't she see how fragile any marriage can be?

Abby, how could I turn to you now if we hadn't had to survive all those fights

and compromises?

You mean your fights and my compromises?

And your teasing.

I couldn't face all this right now if you weren't right here to tease me.

That's one of the sweetest things you've ever said to me.

It is.

It is?

I was talking about Susan.

Oh, yes, Susan. She's barely 21 years old.

And we'd each had a chance to learn something about marriage.

And about being alone.

And about being alone.

I'm glad I found you.

I'm glad I found you.

And that we can disagree and come back from more disagreement.

Yeah.

There ought to be some way you can pass that on to your children.

They should invent a way so that Susan's baby doesn't make the same mistakes.

Don't worry. You're going to get a shot at your grandchild's education.

You think so?

I think so.

Susan's being so hard.

So tough.

Because she's so scared.

Okay, Susan, I've said all I'm going to say to you as your sister -in -law. Now

I'll speak to you as your attorney.

don't even think about divorce.

Then what kind of attorney says that?

A good attorney is supposed to urge both parties to consider every possibility

of reconciliation.

Oh, I see. Just like a sister -in -law.

Susan, I don't think you really want to do this.

Do you know how painful divorce can be? When you have to face pain, the best way

is to get it over with as fast as you can.

Now, what do you recommend for making sure Merle provides child support?

I don't think there'll be any problem.

Merle will want to take care of you in every way that he can.

I can remember hearing Merle talk about that.

He did?

When?

A few months ago.

In your backyard.

I was standing next to David.

And you were right over there.

And Merle was right over there.

And up there was the minister.

And I heard him say it very distinctly.

I'm Merle Stockwell.

Take Susan Bradford to love and to cherish from this day forward till

death do us part. Stop, Janet. Stop.

Please.

Veil is lifting.

I feel a presence approaching. Concentrate, everyone.

There. Now I see our guide.

Where?

Shh, Nicholas. It's an invisible spirit.

You mean a ghost?

According to Andre.

You didn't tell me this was going to be spooky.

Concentrate, everyone.

The entity is about to enter our vibrational field.

Help me, everyone.

Send your energies.

He's approaching.

I can see him clearly.

You're kidding.

No, I saw him. No, it's your imagination.

Hey, come on in. What are you doing here?

Let me have your bag. Go on in.

Did I hear somebody scream?

Hey, I'm real sorry. I didn't mean

to scare anybody.

Why did you peek through the window like that?

I just wanted to see if I could find Susan alone.

I should have known better.

Well, Merle, who called you in Puerto Rico and who told you to come home?

That's what I'd like to know.

Merle, what are you doing here?

Susan, I've got to talk to you. Yeah, and I've got to talk to you, too.

What are we talking about?

Well, I didn't want to be like this, but since it is, let's talk in here.

Well, why not?

Whoever you are, I want you to know that I think it's pretty sneaky promising me

not to tell Merle when you already had.

Hey. Merle.

What is going on? Well, whoever told Merle, I'm glad you did. Yeah, whoever

was, you might as well confess so we can give you a round of applause.

Yeah, come on, fess up, Nicholas.

Wait a minute.

I promised Susan I wouldn't tell Merle. And how can I find Puerto Rico in the

first place? It's not in the yellow or the white pages.

I bet it wasn't a Bradford.

How could it not be a Bradford?

I bet it was Andre.

Andre? By telepathy.

I'd like to take credit for it.

But I can't.

Well, then who told Merle?

Told me what?

Come on, Merle, you know. The reason you came back.

I came back because I couldn't stand being away from you another day.

Don't lie to me, Merle.

Lie about what?

Stop playing games. You know we're going to have a baby.

A baby?

That's the best news I ever heard.

We're having a baby.

They're having a baby.

They're having a baby.

That's right, Nicholas.

That means there's going to be an uncle. All right.

Just hold on, Nicholas.

Meryl looked too happy.

I have a feeling that she didn't tell him everything.

What's everything?

Divorce, Nicholas.

the craziest thing I ever heard of. We end our marriage now when we're having a

baby? That's right. Before it gets too complicated.

Think about it, Merle. What do you want for your baby? A home where its mother

and father are always fighting?

We're not always fighting. We just fought too much.

But we can change that.

And who gets hurt if we don't? The baby.

I just wish I had a curveball that could twist like your ideas.

Well, at least I have ideas.

And I don't?

Well, right now, I'm thinking about my baby. It is mine, too, you know. Yes, it

is, so take responsibility for it. Now, think, Merle. Do you want your child

around this fighting every day?

Do you? Do you want that?

Andre would like to continue the seance. Are you sure you won't join us? No, I'm

not sure. I'm positive.

Well, David, does that mean you're thinking out on us, too?

Sorry, my horoscope says it's a bad day for seances.

Well, perhaps I should join them. I mean, I bombed out of Susan's legal

Maybe it's time for desperate measures. Not that desperate.

Well, at least Merle's here.

Now they'll get everything out in the open and they'll fight it out.

And they'll fight, believe me.

It's what you said you wanted.

It may be what I wanted, but it's also a way they can lose it all.

I don't know if I should tell you this.

Tell us what?

I want you to prepare yourself for some negative vibrations.

Why not? I'm already negative enough.

This has all been pretty boring.

Maybe we can switch to checkers or dominoes.

How about post office?

Will you all be quiet, please?

What's the problem, Andre?

I'm getting definite impressions from the cosmos.

Impressions of what?

Conflict, obstacles, failure.

You mean Susan and Merle might not get back together?

I can only predict what I must predict.

They will go their separate ways.

Listen to me.

I've been on three different airplanes in the last 14 hours. I practically went

AWOL to get here, and I did it because I was ready to make us a new life.

Okay, so there's a baby now. That just means I'm twice as ready.

I'm not just talking, Susan.

Here, I'll read you my list.

What list?

Changes I'm going to make.

You actually made a list?

In Puerto Rico.

Number one, if you come back, I promise I'll never ask you to follow me on my

baseball jobs again.

Let me see that.

Here it is.

So you mean if we stayed married, I could stay in Sacramento and finish my

education? Yeah, and after you finish college, you can live here, too.

And when it's off -season, I'll come join you.

Of course, if I pitch in the World Series someday, I'd like you to be there

watching me from the stands.

Well, if I came back, I think that might be arranged.

Not might. You'd have to be there.

This won't work if we both don't bend.

Well, I'd want to be there, if you'll let me work.

There goes my lid.

can you work with a baby?

When the baby's old enough, I want to work, Merle.

Now, if you really cared about me, you'd let me do it. After all, I know the

best daycare center in Sacramento, and I've got four sisters who are very

experienced babysitters.

Hmm.

Well, if you work, I can have my team friends over any Friday night I

want. Oh, does that mean bingo, bigelow, and a swat of tobacco?

It could include any friend I want.

Here's fair.

But bingo, bigelow.

And I can even barbecue him steaks. Steaks? Which you don't have to eat.

Merle, you might as well know right now I'm planning to raise a child as a

vegetarian. I think he should decide that for himself.

For herself?

Whatever.

Didn't you always say every person should decide their own lives?

Yeah. I guess I should listen to myself.

Well, okay, then. It'll be our baby's decision.

Our baby's?

Do you realize what you just did?

I said our baby.

That's right. You said ours.

But we've just been fighting, and you didn't get your way 100%, and I didn't

mine.

The sky didn't fall on top of us. Well, actually, it feels pretty good.

Actually, it feels beautiful.

Susan, I think we just proved something.

What?

I'm not the same guy who left, and you're not the same girl who stayed

I think it could work.

I think we could make our baby a real happy home.

Real happy.

No argument there.

Oh, Mom, just hold me.

Now kiss me.

God, I've missed you. Oh, me too.

What is it? Well, you're needed in the living room. No, Nicholas, I will have

nothing to do with those goings -on. It's not the sounds. It's Susan. She's

crying.

And we know we love each other enough.

Of course, you'll all be at the christening of Merle Jr.

No, Susan II.

How about twins?

All right.

You scared me. Those are happy tears.

Are yours happy, too?

Yes, Nicholas.

Very happy.

I'm sorry your dire predictions were so wrong for you, but I'm happy for us.

Yeah.

I guess I really blew it.

Well, maybe I'm just fooling myself.

Maybe this isn't my field.

Maybe. Do you think I could get on the show if I knocked out a book about love?

I mean, I could believe in love.

People do, Andre.

People do.

What's so wonderful?

We've got two weeks off for a reunion honeymoon.

Oh, that's great. Where are you going?

Right here.

Exotic Sacramento?

Yep. It's where everybody from Puerto Rico goes for romance.

And we're moving back into our old apartment today.

So let's go, you old Arkansas mule.

Careful, honey. These days you're name -calling for two.

Oh, excuse us. Excuse you for sure.

She actually came to the house?

Yep, and she's waiting in the street porch.

I don't know how you do it. Well, just like you and Ernie taught me. I stood

there, looked a little precious, and then this beautiful older chick walked

and started talking. So I invited her home.

Wow, door -to -door delivery.

Sure makes up for all the times that you blew it. Now, come on, introduce us.

Right. Wait here.

Ginger, I'd like you to meet my brother Tommy.