All language subtitles for Cybill s02e01 cybill discovers the meaning of life
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1
00:00:00,940 --> 00:00:04,980
I could sure go for a beer right about
now. Oh, yeah, a couple of cold frow
2
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-mices.
3
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Grandma would be really something if she
let her hair down. You're telling me.
4
00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:16,000
What's the next chapter?
5
00:00:16,940 --> 00:00:18,180
Boston Tea Party.
6
00:00:18,780 --> 00:00:21,420
Did somebody say party?
7
00:00:21,860 --> 00:00:22,860
Yes.
8
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Sit to the library.
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Have a frownmeister.
10
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Frownmeister? Why didn't you say so?
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Frownmeister, a party in every can.
12
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And cut.
13
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That's great, everybody.
14
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All right, let's reset and try it again.
15
00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:54,880
Excuse me, Winnie.
16
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Can I talk to you a minute? Yeah, sure,
Seb. What's up? I don't mean to be a
17
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stick in the mud. This is not the
commercial I agreed to do. Yeah, I know.
18
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punched it up. Boy, did you ever. Now
it's really degrading to women.
19
00:01:06,050 --> 00:01:07,870
Degrading to women? What do you mean,
babe?
20
00:01:08,690 --> 00:01:11,050
A party in every can and then we shake
our butt?
21
00:01:12,250 --> 00:01:13,250
Uh -huh.
22
00:01:14,850 --> 00:01:18,210
That implies this beer makes women
sexually available.
23
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I sure hope so.
24
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I think a lot of women are going to have
a problem with that.
25
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I know it makes me very uncomfortable.
26
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I understand completely.
27
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Hey, Ingrid, you want to be the
librarian?
28
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Wait, wait. I want this job. I need this
job.
29
00:01:35,140 --> 00:01:38,460
But don't you think the audience
realizes you're trying to manipulate
30
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images of young, perky breasts?
31
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Not that I'm jealous.
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Okay, I'm a little jealous.
33
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Let me hear you say, shh.
34
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Shh.
35
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How about when I'm dancing, I whip this
open and wink at the camera?
36
00:02:01,710 --> 00:02:04,610
If God is a woman, I'm going to hell.
37
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I have a mortgage and a daughter who's
going to college soon.
38
00:02:30,990 --> 00:02:32,710
I guess this means I'm buying lunch
again.
39
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I'm a whore.
40
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You are not.
41
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Mary Ann, that commercial was offensive
to everything I believe in, but I did it
42
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anyway for the money.
43
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Oh, my, you are a whore.
44
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With a capital HO.
45
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Don't we all prostitute ourselves?
46
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I'm no different than anybody else who
has to get up in the morning and work at
47
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a job that robs them of their self
-esteem.
48
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that treats them like a soulless robot
with no value, no worth.
49
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Could I possibly get a fork that doesn't
have dried egg on it?
50
00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:03,650
Oh, God.
51
00:03:05,170 --> 00:03:06,690
Mary Ann, I used to have the dream.
52
00:03:07,010 --> 00:03:10,070
I was going to be a great actor, make
people laugh, make people cry.
53
00:03:10,410 --> 00:03:11,510
You made our waiter cry?
54
00:03:12,330 --> 00:03:15,090
I was going to be a great mother,
someone my daughters could trust.
55
00:03:15,810 --> 00:03:16,810
Ha!
56
00:03:17,830 --> 00:03:21,350
I was going to grow old with a
sensitive, loving man by my side. Ha!
57
00:03:23,710 --> 00:03:24,710
I wouldn't.
58
00:03:25,540 --> 00:03:26,540
I'd sage.
59
00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:33,520
I'd be able to look in the mirror and
say, wrinkling, sagging, pooching skin,
60
00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:34,520
love you.
61
00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:36,300
Ha, hey.
62
00:03:37,580 --> 00:03:39,260
Sorry, I thought we were on a roll.
63
00:03:40,540 --> 00:03:42,980
I'm a big old sloppy, sloppy failure.
64
00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:45,160
And a whore.
65
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:47,880
Use your fork.
66
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,350
I used to know who I was, where my life
was going. Now I just feel lost.
67
00:03:54,570 --> 00:03:55,570
Maybe I need to shrink.
68
00:03:56,310 --> 00:03:59,090
Dr. Gold has always worked wonders for
me.
69
00:03:59,350 --> 00:04:00,350
You have a therapist?
70
00:04:00,670 --> 00:04:02,290
The best. Let me introduce you.
71
00:04:02,870 --> 00:04:05,090
Sybil, meet Dr.
72
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:06,370
Gold.
73
00:05:46,700 --> 00:05:47,700
Dr. Gold.
74
00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:51,180
Do you know how long I've wanted one of
these purses? Oh, I love this little
75
00:05:51,180 --> 00:05:52,139
piggy purse.
76
00:05:52,140 --> 00:05:54,280
It's so perfectly useless.
77
00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:58,080
Should we take along some beer? What
have you got?
78
00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:00,040
Fraumeister. Sure.
79
00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,060
A party in every can.
80
00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:05,160
That's really scary.
81
00:06:06,380 --> 00:06:09,540
No, Zoe, I can't. Why not? It'll be fun.
82
00:06:09,900 --> 00:06:12,220
Hi, Zoe. Rach, how you feeling? Fine,
Mother, fine.
83
00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:16,210
I don't think Kevin would like me going
to a party at Tori Spelling's house
84
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:19,550
while he's out of town. Tori Spelling?
Come on. Well, tell everybody I'm a post
85
00:06:19,550 --> 00:06:22,950
-op transsexual and you're my unfaithful
lover. We'll be the most interesting
86
00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:23,950
couple there.
87
00:06:24,850 --> 00:06:27,830
What kind of party? And how do you know
Tori Spelling? So, I'll meet you at the
88
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boat and we'll unload everything. Sounds
like a plan.
89
00:06:29,530 --> 00:06:30,530
What boat? Hello.
90
00:06:30,750 --> 00:06:31,709
Hi, Thad. Hey, pumpkin.
91
00:06:31,710 --> 00:06:35,770
So, you're okay about the saddle? No
problem. What party? What boat? What
92
00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:39,110
saddle? I think someone's going to ride
Tori Spelling through the marina.
93
00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:47,760
I was invited to a party at Aaron's
Spellings. I'm taking Zoe with me. Oh,
94
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Kevin. I'll go, too.
95
00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:52,500
I found this great houseboat to rent.
Ira's helping me move.
96
00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:53,860
You're finally moving out?
97
00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,100
Jeff, don't toy with me. I'm not.
98
00:06:56,580 --> 00:06:59,940
I did an informal survey, and a majority
of the women I'm dating think it's
99
00:06:59,940 --> 00:07:02,460
pathetic for a man my age to be living
over at his ex -wife's garage.
100
00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:05,960
I don't believe it. No, it's true. Four
out of five.
101
00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:08,880
You've been great, Thibble. Thanks a
lot.
102
00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:10,620
Let's roll. Come on, Duke.
103
00:07:12,940 --> 00:07:13,940
Rachel, wait.
104
00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:16,340
Since Kevin's out of town, why don't you
come over here for a few nights?
105
00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:19,180
That's okay, Mom. I'm fine. Well,
listen, if you get lonely, feel free to
106
00:07:19,180 --> 00:07:23,220
over. Hey, I have a new video on
alternative birthing techniques. We
107
00:07:23,220 --> 00:07:23,999
it together.
108
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,820
Mother, give it a rest.
109
00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:29,220
You're not going to try talking me into
some kind of medieval underwater midwife
110
00:07:29,220 --> 00:07:31,540
birth. It doesn't have to be underwater.
111
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:36,380
For the last time, it's my baby, and I'm
going to have it the way God intended,
112
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in a hospital with doctors and drugs.
113
00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:42,950
I was just trying to be helpful. If you
want to be helpful, try knitting baby
114
00:07:42,950 --> 00:07:44,130
blankets like other grandmothers.
115
00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:46,650
Okay. Hey, I know.
116
00:07:47,330 --> 00:07:51,030
I could use a sacred Navajo pattern that
would bring the baby wisdom and good
117
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fortune. Oh, great, a sacred Navajo
pattern. That should go well with the
118
00:07:54,910 --> 00:07:55,910
wallpaper.
119
00:07:56,670 --> 00:07:59,790
Oh, and by the way, Mom, you know, I
might have a boy. Do you consider that
120
00:07:59,790 --> 00:08:00,790
before you bought the toy purse?
121
00:08:02,030 --> 00:08:04,330
It's not a toy. It's very chic and
fashionable.
122
00:08:05,650 --> 00:08:07,990
And empty and useless like my life.
123
00:08:09,660 --> 00:08:11,860
Did I mention your cuticles have never
looked better?
124
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,500
Marianne, do you see what's going on
here?
125
00:08:15,860 --> 00:08:19,260
All the people in my life have lives of
their own that don't include me. I
126
00:08:19,260 --> 00:08:20,260
don't.
127
00:08:21,380 --> 00:08:25,740
I'm an asterisk, a footnote, a blonde
afterthought. Oh, poor baby.
128
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:27,040
Here, drink this.
129
00:08:27,380 --> 00:08:28,580
It's called alcohol.
130
00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:31,180
And it'll make you not care.
131
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,520
No, no more drinking, no more eating, no
more shopping.
132
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All that does is fill up your closet and
your stomach.
133
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Not your soul.
134
00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:42,260
Oh, dear. Have you been listening to
those self -help tapes again?
135
00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:46,560
Marianne, I feel empty inside.
136
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,020
Family doesn't fill the void.
137
00:08:49,340 --> 00:08:50,660
Work doesn't fill the void.
138
00:08:50,900 --> 00:08:57,660
It's been over a year since a man filled
a... Well, you know what I mean.
139
00:08:58,640 --> 00:08:59,640
A year?
140
00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:01,580
I'm thinking of having it bronzed.
141
00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:05,640
I know what I have to do.
142
00:09:06,010 --> 00:09:09,070
I should think so. Should we head for a
singles bar or do you want to order in?
143
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:11,510
I've got to get out of here.
144
00:09:12,050 --> 00:09:14,770
I've got to go somewhere where there's
no distractions, where there's some
145
00:09:14,770 --> 00:09:17,470
answers, where I can be totally alone.
Oh, goody, where are we going?
146
00:09:18,450 --> 00:09:19,590
A spiritual retreat.
147
00:09:20,470 --> 00:09:21,470
To the desert!
148
00:09:21,570 --> 00:09:22,409
Palm Springs!
149
00:09:22,410 --> 00:09:23,690
Oh, I love Palm Springs.
150
00:09:26,010 --> 00:09:27,730
This isn't Palm Springs.
151
00:09:28,590 --> 00:09:30,110
Where are all the pretty hotels?
152
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:51,660
I knew you'd like it.
153
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:54,340
Come on, open yourself up.
154
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Feel the energy. The desert is a power
place.
155
00:09:58,460 --> 00:09:59,840
Spago's is a power place.
156
00:10:00,460 --> 00:10:02,600
This is hell, only with bigger bugs.
157
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:07,880
You'll thank me. You'll see. We're going
to meditate. We're going to fast.
158
00:10:08,340 --> 00:10:09,340
What do you mean fast?
159
00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:18,120
have been having profound experiences in
the desert for thousands of years. Name
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00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:19,380
three. Well, Jesus.
161
00:10:20,340 --> 00:10:21,340
And Moses.
162
00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:24,920
And, uh, Bugsy Siegel.
163
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Bugsy Siegel?
164
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He counts.
165
00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:30,280
Come on, let's meditate.
166
00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:36,760
Focus on your breathing.
167
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When your mind wanders, just bring it
back to the breath.
168
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fast on an empty stomach.
169
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:04,590
Well, at least give me a bite. Ha, you
big hypocrite.
170
00:11:06,430 --> 00:11:09,870
I cannot believe you did that.
171
00:11:10,250 --> 00:11:12,970
You can't have a spiritual experience
with a mouthful of chocolate.
172
00:11:13,230 --> 00:11:15,090
You can if there's a creamy nougat
center.
173
00:12:09,260 --> 00:12:10,260
It's working.
174
00:12:10,380 --> 00:12:11,740
It's been my job. It's done.
175
00:12:15,700 --> 00:12:17,300
Damn. What?
176
00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:19,960
This isn't the right spot.
177
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:22,200
The energy isn't converging. How's your
spot?
178
00:12:22,420 --> 00:12:23,980
Great. Very spiritual.
179
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Converging like old ghetto.
180
00:12:28,300 --> 00:12:30,220
Really? Can I try it?
181
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Maybe later.
182
00:12:31,780 --> 00:12:33,480
I think I may be starting to levitate.
183
00:12:49,589 --> 00:12:52,270
Oh, wonderful. I'm sitting on a big
pointy rock.
184
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Now my job is done.
185
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lot more progress if you weren't here.
Fine. Give me the keys to the car and I
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won't be.
187
00:14:43,410 --> 00:14:45,130
You'd leave me out here all by myself?
188
00:14:45,430 --> 00:14:47,310
Look, this wasn't my idea.
189
00:14:48,010 --> 00:14:51,150
I'm not the one looking for answers to
her empty life.
190
00:14:51,630 --> 00:14:52,630
Maybe you should be.
191
00:14:53,650 --> 00:14:54,730
What's that supposed to mean?
192
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Well, what do you do all day?
193
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Shop? Get your hair done? Bitch about
your ex? That's not empty.
194
00:15:01,350 --> 00:15:02,350
That's busy.
195
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Busy, busy, busy.
196
00:15:06,220 --> 00:15:11,040
it full of it full of it the truth is
you can't sit still because if you did
197
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:14,960
you'd have to take a good hard look at
who you really are i know who i really
198
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:19,420
are you're the one who got screwed up
with this self -indulgent new age yuppie
199
00:15:19,420 --> 00:15:21,660
crap meditating fasting raising the
200
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,000
your negative energy.
201
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:46,940
I am going to achieve oneness with the
universe and then you're gonna get it!
202
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frustrated, tired, and really hungry.
203
00:16:30,380 --> 00:16:31,460
Oh, all right.
204
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:38,720
Thanks.
205
00:16:42,060 --> 00:16:47,540
You know, you were right.
206
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,580
What do you expect to find out here?
Some blinding insight?
207
00:16:51,820 --> 00:16:55,440
Some ancient spirit is going to rise up
out of the ground and tell me the
208
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:56,440
meaning of it? life?
209
00:16:56,850 --> 00:17:02,210
Hibble, life is a party in every can.
210
00:17:05,510 --> 00:17:07,030
You were right about one thing.
211
00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:09,470
My life is sad and empty, too.
212
00:17:10,210 --> 00:17:16,250
All I do is shop for fabulous clothes,
eat in posh restaurants, get pampered in
213
00:17:16,250 --> 00:17:17,290
the finest salons.
214
00:17:18,569 --> 00:17:19,589
Why me, God?
215
00:17:23,390 --> 00:17:26,970
No one needs us anymore, Marianne.
Husbands are gone, kids are grown.
216
00:17:28,830 --> 00:17:31,390
I remember teaching them how to dress
themselves.
217
00:17:32,150 --> 00:17:34,430
Yeah, kissing their boo -boos when they
fell down.
218
00:17:35,050 --> 00:17:36,930
Cutting their meat into little chunks.
219
00:17:38,190 --> 00:17:40,710
Ira wouldn't eat it unless I did it just
so.
220
00:17:45,650 --> 00:17:48,750
I guess I just miss being needed.
221
00:17:51,450 --> 00:17:52,450
I need you.
222
00:17:55,980 --> 00:17:56,980
I need you too.
223
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:02,740
Maybe that's the answer.
224
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:07,260
Maybe that's all any of us can ever
expect out of life.
225
00:18:07,940 --> 00:18:08,980
One good friend.
226
00:18:10,620 --> 00:18:11,620
Boy, that's depressing.
227
00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:15,540
Tell me about it.
228
00:18:21,020 --> 00:18:22,080
Did you hear that?
229
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:23,280
Hear what?
230
00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:01,040
Rachel, honey, you want some ice to chew
on? Yeah, have some ice, sweetheart.
231
00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:03,020
Ice is good. Get the hell away from me!
232
00:19:04,140 --> 00:19:05,680
Great. You want to talk to her?
233
00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:07,360
It's your husband.
234
00:19:08,220 --> 00:19:09,220
Hi, honey.
235
00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:10,360
Where are you?
236
00:19:10,580 --> 00:19:11,419
Oh, Minneapolis.
237
00:19:11,420 --> 00:19:12,700
That's nice. How's the conference?
238
00:19:13,260 --> 00:19:14,099
Uh -huh.
239
00:19:14,100 --> 00:19:15,100
Oh, that's great.
240
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:17,660
Get your scrawny ass back to L .A. now!
241
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:23,260
You know, this could just be a false
alarm.
242
00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:26,120
After all, I am three weeks early.
243
00:19:26,410 --> 00:19:27,410
Yeah, it could be.
244
00:19:28,170 --> 00:19:29,390
Liars, you're all liars.
245
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,690
Hey, Rachel. I'm here.
246
00:19:32,970 --> 00:19:35,450
Mommy. Don't get too close since she
bites.
247
00:19:35,850 --> 00:19:38,030
Okay, sweetheart, I want you to sit up.
You'll be more comfortable.
248
00:19:38,330 --> 00:19:41,150
Where were you? Your nose said you went
to the desert. Mommy, mommy, mommy.
249
00:19:41,590 --> 00:19:43,290
We called every hotel in Palm Springs.
250
00:19:43,590 --> 00:19:47,490
We weren't at a hotel. We went to a
power place in the desert where we
251
00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:50,470
our bodies and souls and then raised the
cone of silence.
252
00:19:50,870 --> 00:19:52,610
Power, cone of power.
253
00:19:53,310 --> 00:19:54,590
I told you they were out drinking.
254
00:20:19,850 --> 00:20:20,870
to dare to say no.
255
00:20:21,650 --> 00:20:22,810
Get the doctor.
256
00:20:23,030 --> 00:20:24,030
Go.
257
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,530
And see if you can find a bagel or
something.
258
00:20:27,510 --> 00:20:28,510
Hi, Rach.
259
00:20:28,710 --> 00:20:29,710
Hi, Rach.
260
00:20:29,990 --> 00:20:31,030
Can we do anything?
261
00:20:31,290 --> 00:20:32,290
Buy her magazine.
262
00:20:32,410 --> 00:20:33,870
Good idea. She looks a little bored.
263
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:36,650
Hey, Rach, have you seen the new Vanity
Fair?
264
00:20:37,130 --> 00:20:41,450
Ow, ow, ow. We'll just pick something
out. Ow, ow, ow.
265
00:20:41,710 --> 00:20:46,170
Mom, when's it going to be over? Soon,
honey, soon. I know it hurts a lot.
266
00:20:46,430 --> 00:20:51,110
But you'll see, it's worth it. It's a
beautiful experience. It's like pushing
267
00:20:51,110 --> 00:20:52,230
turkey out through your nose.
268
00:21:32,780 --> 00:21:33,780
count finger and toes?
269
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:34,960
Mm -hmm.
270
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,220
They're all there. Even got a couple of
the bear.
271
00:21:38,660 --> 00:21:39,660
What?
272
00:21:40,460 --> 00:21:41,460
I'm kidding.
273
00:21:42,060 --> 00:21:43,060
Everything's fine.
274
00:21:43,380 --> 00:21:45,440
You have a beautiful, perfect baby.
275
00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:48,160
Yeah, I do, don't I?
276
00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:51,120
It's a miracle.
277
00:21:53,180 --> 00:21:56,520
Mom, thank you so much for being here.
278
00:21:57,740 --> 00:21:59,160
Where else would I be, honey?
279
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,020
What was all that about?
280
00:22:01,230 --> 00:22:03,030
Desert? What were you doing in the
desert?
281
00:22:03,310 --> 00:22:04,310
Looking for answers.
282
00:22:04,870 --> 00:22:06,590
Answers to what? I forget.
283
00:22:08,910 --> 00:22:14,150
Well, I'm just glad Dad managed to find
you.
284
00:22:16,410 --> 00:22:17,970
Your dad didn't find me.
285
00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:20,250
My grandson did.
20571
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