All language subtitles for Cybill s01e06 call me irresponsible

Ready to go, Sybil?

All set.

Okay, any questions?

No, but I would like to say how pleased
I am to be working with a woman.

It's a whole different kind of energy.
It's so much more nurturing.

Then you don't have any questions.

When you're hungry for a snack, don't
know what you're picking.

Try some toasted oats with just a hint
of chicken.

Toasted chickies eaten by the...

Okay, I know that look.

You're going to hurt him, aren't you?

Vengeance. Thy name is Mastercard.

Oh, pretty.

Ah, Zippy forgot to cancel it.

What are you going to buy yourself?

Nothing. The fund's not spending his
money. It's wasting his money.

Observe. Excuse me. Do you see Mr. Young
Buns over there?

Send him a dozen silk boxers on me.

The real challenge is to max out the
card and have nothing to show for it.

I love you, you thick, dark work of art.
Oh, Pierce, I'm just a simple woman

with a dream.

Hey, Bill.

What? Look, it's your ex -husband.

Ooh, that's too good.

Come on, let's play.

Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh,
boy.

Fabulous color on you, Ira. Perfect for
showing off the hair on your back.

Terrific. Hello, ladies. It's not for
me.

That's not what Sybil told me.

Marianne, I told you that was
confidential.

By the way, you can keep the black lace
panties, but I would like the black

wonder bra back.

Thank you. Well, if this concludes the
emasculation portion of the program,

see you later. Come on, Ira. You're
trying to obligerate. You're looking for

respect? Give me a break. It's a
Valentine's present.

Oh, excuse me, miss. Is this machine
washable?

Valentine's? I didn't even know it was
Valentine's Day. I had no idea it was

February.

Alone on Valentine's Day.

What could be more depressing?

Watching your ex -husband buy lingerie
for his new girlfriend.

You asked.

Thank you very much.

But, you know, we're really not alone.

We're on our own. Self -sufficient.
Independent.

Liberated. Full of crap. Completely.

Uh, Thibault, I hate to ask you this,
but I left my wallet at home, and, well,

they already rang it up.

You want me to buy lingerie for your
girlfriend?

No, it's just that... Well, yeah.

I've got a better idea. Why don't you
just shoot me in the face?

I'll owe you big time.

How big?

Anything, anytime, anywhere.

Put it in writing.

Anything, anytime, anywhere.

Sign it! It's no good unless you sign
it!

and he moved back to Italy.

Come on. I gotta get out of here before
she gets home. I can't listen to another

one of her earth goddess pregnancy's
beautiful speeches.

Did she ever give you the don't be
embarrassed about masturbation chat?

Oh, yeah.

The long walk on the beach. She took you
to the beach? I got her the dry

cleaner. Oh, you poor thing.

Rachel, I'm suffocating. She keeps
trying to be my best friend.

Well, I had to live through it. Now it's
your turn.

I'm out of here. Please, Rach, take me
with you. Dream on.

Mom, guess who's here? Your old pal,
Rachel.

Rachel's here?

Zoe, what was the point of that? Oh, my
babies are here. Both of my babies are

here. I'm so happy to see you. I'm so
happy to see you, too. Look, I gotta go.

Wait, wait, I've got presents.

First, Zoe.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Oh, boy, a hunchback cookie.

No, it's Cupid. That's a wing.

And he's fructose sweetened.

Thanks, Mom.

I got a cookie.

And for my other valentine, slippers.

Slippers? Yeah, they got elastic for
when your feet swell.

And believe me, they're gonna.

Around month six, you're gonna turn into
a big old balloon girl.

How thoughtful. Well, I better go, Mom.
I'm making a special dinner for Kevin

tonight. Oh, um, before I forget.

There's a new mother's class down at the
Women's Center on Friday. I thought

maybe you and I could go together.

Mother, I'm not going to squat in a
gymnasium and look at my cervix. Once

enough.

It's not like that. It's nutrition and
exercise, breastfeeding.

That sounds like fun, but I'd really
rather spend Friday night with Kevin.

I get it.

You've hit the horny part of your
pregnancy, haven't you?

Mom.

I know you're just trying to be helpful,
but I think it may be best if you try

to focus a little more on your life and
a little less on mine.

Right. Right.

I'm sorry.

I don't mean to hurt your feelings,
but... No, no.

I understand.

You sure?

Go! Have a nice dinner. Say hi to Kevin.

Thanks, Mom. Bye, honey. Bye.

I'll just stay here and focus on my
life.

Lots to focus on.

What's new with you?

Who would I rather sleep with? Yeah.

Paul Newman or Robert Redford. Choose.

That's easy. Paul Newman. He brings his
own popcorn.

Come on. Give me something tough.

Okay.

Ross Perot or one of those flying devil
monkeys from The Wizard of Oz.

Is the monkey rich?

Good evening, girls.

Oh, my. He cleans up real good, doesn't
he? Got a date with my valentine.

Hey, Sybil, don't forget to feed the
dukester.

Jeff, remember 20 years ago when our
marriage fell apart?

Yeah. And you moved out and we went on
with our life? Mm -hmm. Let's do that

again.

Sybil, I am looking for another
apartment. I'll be out of here before

it. Jeff, you're a pig.

What?

I don't know. I just felt like saying
that.

Come here and give me a kiss.

Is she kidding? Are you kidding? I don't
know.

Well, good night.

I

love

it when you play with his head like
that. It's almost too easy.

You know, this isn't so bad for
Valentine's Day. Wow, here's to

To Valentine's Day.

This sucks like a Hoover.

Well, there's probably Jeff wanting to
borrow gas money.

You never know.

Could be some swarthy French stud who
wants to use your bathroom.

I beg your pardon, but may I please use
your facilities?

How did you do that?

Who are you?

I am Guy.

Guy is my limo driver. It's upstairs,
first door to the left.

Merci. Oui, Guy.

rented a limousine just to come to my
house?

I've got a credit card to max out,
remember?

I'm disappointed in you, Marianne.

He's just sitting in the driveway.

Couldn't you come up with something a
little more creative?

You want to go down to the marina and
shoot guns at Dr. Dick's boat?

That doesn't require any money.

Oh, really?

Do you have any idea what it costs to
buy an automatic weapon at this time of

night?

Actually, I was thinking of something a
little more life -affirming. Like this

weekend, we could go horseback riding or
hot air ballooning. Or skydiving.

You promised never to bring that up.

Marianne, I'm turning 40.

Let's jump out of a plane. It'll be so
symbolic and meaningful.

Well, it would have been.

Well, if you'd actually jumped.

Hey, you know what?

Shut up.

I know.

Let's have Guy Whiskers off to the
airport and we'll fly to Vegas. Tonight?

If we leave now, we can blow all of Dr.
Dick's money and still catch a show.

Come on, I always wanted to see those
two German guys who make the tigers

disappear. What are they called?

Sauerkraut and Roy?

Well, I'd love to, but, Marianne, I
can't go to Vegas and leave Zoe here by

herself. Why not?

Can I have the mega -tail at her end of
May? May she want to watch Vegas?

Mm -hmm.

He and I are going to go watch videos in
the back of the limo.

That's why not.

Zoe!

You don't even know this guy.

I am Guy.

He is Guy. I get that he's Guy.

Goodbye, Guy.

Au revoir, Zoe.

A bientot.

You know, just because you don't have a
life doesn't mean I can't. Yes, it does.

I can't believe it. She got a D in
French.

I'm telling you.

Vague. I try to be a good mother. I try
to be their friend. And for what?

All... Spend and pay. The only people
who want me around are my ex -husbands,

and that's only to lend them money and
feed their dog.

Dog? Yes. We could board Zoe in a
kennel.

No.

I have a better idea.

Anything, anytime, anywhere.

You want me to come and stay with Zoe
now?

Yes, now.

Ira, who's that?

Not now.

It's an emergency.

Let's roll!

I've got to take Marianne to Betty Ford.

In a limo?

I told her we were going to the opera.

Woo!

Party!

Come on, we'll drop you off.

Ira, the whipped cream is starting to
slide off.

Oh, please, Sybil.

Zoe's a big girl. She can take care of
herself.

I'll be gone overnight. The last time I
left her alone that long, she put the

house on the market.

She only took one to pot.

Would you like me to go in there and
tell Miss Dairy Queen, who paid for a

Valentine on D's?

Let me just go grab my pants.

It's on fire.

You have 20.

I said hit me.

21. Damn.

You know, Marianne, this is the greatest
Valentine's Day I have ever had. And

you know what the best part of it is?
Yeah. A month from now, Dr. Dick gets

credit card bill.

Three at last. My ass.

Well, there is that. But what I was
thinking was, finally, we're doing

for ourselves.

No children, no men. Just us.

Drinking.

Gambling.

Smoking $10 stogies.

Oh, yeah.

What do you want to do next?

There's only two things left to do in
Vegas.

Buy a hooker or get married.

Will you marry me?

I'm sorry. I can only marry a virgin.

Well, then, our course is clear.

Excuse me, sir.

Where do you keep your hooker?

Maybe it's the police coming to break up
our wild party.

Hey, come on. Somebody let me in.

Jeff? Yeah.

Thank you.

What happened to your hand?

Poisoned oak.

How'd you get poisoned oak on your hand?

I'll tell you later. It's a long story.

Don't worry, Jeff. I'm not interested in
any story that ends with you coming

back.

What happened?

I was out on a date, and we went for a
walk in the woods.

At night? You went in the woods at
night?

Yeah, it's romantic.

If you're a raccoon.

She wanted to look at the stars.

So, you know, one thing led to another.

You did it on the ground?

Isn't that why you people have pickup
trucks?

I don't want to talk about this anymore.

What are you doing here, anyway? Keeping
Zoe company while Sybil takes a dragon

lady back to rehab.

Couldn't get a date on Valentine's Day,
huh? I had a date. A great date.

I didn't have to drag her to the forest,
either. Yeah, yeah.

I'm starving.

Big act of woodsman like you? Of course
you are.

Could you give me a hand?

Oh, geez. What do you want? Cereal.

No, no, no, no. The fruity stuff with
the marshmallows.

Look at me. I'm picking a midnight snack
for my ex -wife's ex -husband on

Valentine's Day. Boy, oh, boy. It's like
a dream come true.

Not exactly how I envisioned my evening
going, either.

Lots of milk. I like it when the
marshmallows float.

You mind?

Boy, you gotta be kidding.

I want you to know, I really, really
hate this.

And you're probably not gonna like
what's coming next.

What?

I gotta pee.

I'm sorry, ma 'am, but your credit card
is over the limit.

Yes!

Here, Conan.

Keep the change.

Yes! Well, Sybil, looks like our work in
this town is done. Not quite, Marianne.

What do you mean?

Well, before I go back to being
unappreciated mother, ex -wife, and

chicken, I'd like to do something really
meaningful, something transforming,

something that makes a lasting impact on
my life.

So you want to go to the Liberace
Museum?

Yes, that's exactly what I want to do.

and protect your reserve chute in case
you need it.

I know I'll never be the same. Oh, you
wimp.

I'm not a wimp.

I'm a wuss.

Move over.

Hi,

Mom. Hi.

Look, Rachel spent the night. Marital
problems. Bet she'd love to talk to you

about it.

to talk about okay not a big deal good i
mean it's not like cheating on me

that's the relief don't you want to know
what the problem is honey you told me

to stop focusing on your life remember
right i did okay kevin fell

asleep at eight o 'clock on valentine's
day and we haven't slept together in

three weeks and maybe it's deeper than
maybe it's him or maybe he just sees me

as an incubator for his baby

I need a little advice here. I don't
know what to do.

Oh.

Withhold sex.

What?

Withhold sex.

Mother, haven't you been listening? He
doesn't want sex.

Honey, he will if you withhold it.

Wait a minute.

What's wrong with you? Where were you
last night anyway?

Well, Marianne and I flew to Vegas,
gambled away... Ken Grand, watched a

man dance, and then I jumped out of an
airplane.

Good night.

I don't know why I even try talking to
her.

If you can't do it right, why don't you
just forget it?