All language subtitles for Cybill s01e05 starting on the wrong foot
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1
00:00:04,380 --> 00:00:05,380
Ironic, isn't it?
2
00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:08,620
I've traveled halfway across the galaxy
to find my one true love.
3
00:00:08,940 --> 00:00:09,940
Just a loser.
4
00:00:10,120 --> 00:00:10,879
But why?
5
00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:11,880
Why must you leave?
6
00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:13,560
We both know it would never work.
7
00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:16,300
It's my parents, isn't it?
8
00:00:18,340 --> 00:00:20,840
No. Was I too clingy? No.
9
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,140
It's the cold -blooded thing!
10
00:00:24,420 --> 00:00:26,060
Don't torture yourself, not you.
11
00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:29,920
Our planets are warring. Millions on
both sides are dying.
12
00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:31,640
Remember me.
13
00:00:52,430 --> 00:00:53,430
Thank God.
14
00:00:55,310 --> 00:00:56,490
Simple. Wonderful.
15
00:00:57,710 --> 00:01:01,110
Thanks. I do my best, even though I am
working for scale.
16
00:01:02,130 --> 00:01:03,130
Get it?
17
00:01:03,170 --> 00:01:04,170
Scale?
18
00:01:04,709 --> 00:01:05,890
No, okay, that's funny.
19
00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:07,730
Do you have plans for dinner?
20
00:01:08,210 --> 00:01:12,370
Dinner? Well, thanks for asking, but I'm
a little tired. I think I'll just go
21
00:01:12,370 --> 00:01:14,510
home and, ugh, molt.
22
00:01:14,790 --> 00:01:18,330
You know, I'm the guest of honor at a
Star Trek convention this weekend.
23
00:01:19,130 --> 00:01:22,280
Anaheim. Fancy hotel, big suite, honor
bar.
24
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:26,460
Maybe you'd like to beam down there with
me. Beam down there with you?
25
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:27,720
That's really cute.
26
00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:28,920
I don't think so.
27
00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:31,900
Come on, babe, lower your shields. Let
me in.
28
00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:33,500
You're serious.
29
00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:36,240
We could boldly go where no one has gone
before.
30
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:39,020
Jonathan, snap out of it.
31
00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:42,380
You're not a Starfleet commander, you're
an actor. If you want to ask me out,
32
00:01:42,420 --> 00:01:43,960
just ask me out in plain, simple
English.
33
00:01:44,260 --> 00:01:45,079
Do you want to go out?
34
00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:46,340
Sorry, I don't date actors.
35
00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:16,700
the earthquake was a mistake, but I was
wrong.
36
00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:18,420
It's a lot of fun to have around.
37
00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:21,540
I can stop that.
38
00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:26,500
I am a freeloader. I don't belong here.
When I wake up, I'll move out and never
39
00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:27,560
bother my ex -wife again.
40
00:02:27,860 --> 00:02:29,620
Unless she wants me to move furniture.
41
00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:31,440
Okay, go ahead.
42
00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:35,960
I say we stuff him full of candy and
beat him like a piñata.
43
00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:39,360
Hello?
44
00:02:40,220 --> 00:02:41,320
Oh, hi, Jonathan.
45
00:02:42,420 --> 00:02:43,640
How did you get my number?
46
00:02:44,590 --> 00:02:45,710
A Romulan spy?
47
00:02:46,650 --> 00:02:48,030
Ha ha, good one.
48
00:02:48,550 --> 00:02:52,310
No, I haven't changed my mind about
Anaheim. I promised my daughter I'd take
49
00:02:52,310 --> 00:02:53,930
to, uh, the circus.
50
00:02:56,870 --> 00:02:59,470
Okay, you live long and prosper, too.
51
00:03:00,090 --> 00:03:01,090
Bye.
52
00:03:01,830 --> 00:03:02,830
Ech, poo.
53
00:03:02,930 --> 00:03:04,570
What are you talking about? He's
gorgeous.
54
00:03:04,870 --> 00:03:07,590
Well, then you go out with him. He
didn't ask me. You wouldn't go out with
55
00:03:07,590 --> 00:03:08,590
even if he did.
56
00:03:08,610 --> 00:03:10,270
That's because I'm still healing.
57
00:03:10,770 --> 00:03:13,930
You've been separated a year. You're
hiding. I am not.
58
00:03:14,570 --> 00:03:16,650
I'm just waiting for the right young
fuck to come along.
59
00:03:17,910 --> 00:03:19,350
You know what your problem is?
60
00:03:19,970 --> 00:03:21,890
You're both addicted to orgasms.
61
00:03:23,510 --> 00:03:25,030
Did I black out and miss something?
62
00:03:25,650 --> 00:03:29,470
No, I just think you're both pathetic.
All you ever talk about is men and sex.
63
00:03:29,550 --> 00:03:31,230
Men and sex. It's so boring.
64
00:03:31,810 --> 00:03:32,850
What's the big prize?
65
00:03:33,310 --> 00:03:37,030
A few seconds of involuntary muscular
contractions.
66
00:03:39,030 --> 00:03:40,990
Well, sometimes you also get car fare.
67
00:03:44,430 --> 00:03:46,290
talking about meaningful relationships.
68
00:03:46,710 --> 00:03:51,630
And yes, orgasms can be a part of that.
A wonderful part where two people
69
00:03:51,630 --> 00:03:54,790
connect on a very intimate and spiritual
level.
70
00:03:54,990 --> 00:03:56,170
Even if you're faking it.
71
00:03:57,250 --> 00:03:58,250
Here he is.
72
00:03:58,630 --> 00:04:00,790
Like I ever gave him that satisfaction.
73
00:04:02,510 --> 00:04:05,850
Well, I've chosen chastity.
74
00:04:06,350 --> 00:04:07,350
Good.
75
00:04:07,710 --> 00:04:09,830
That's a wonderful choice for a woman
your age.
76
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:12,710
Oh, this has nothing to do with my age.
I've chosen it forever.
77
00:04:13,290 --> 00:04:14,290
Oh, really?
78
00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:17,769
Well, I don't want to invalidate your
feelings, but I've made that choice
79
00:04:17,769 --> 00:04:19,329
50 times in my life.
80
00:04:20,470 --> 00:04:23,110
After this one, I swore on a stack of
Bibles.
81
00:04:23,670 --> 00:04:28,210
Yes, well, I'm serious. I don't want to
wind up a bitter, middle -aged, divorced
82
00:04:28,210 --> 00:04:30,730
woman who's obsessed with her erogenous
zone.
83
00:04:32,970 --> 00:04:33,970
Am I bitter?
84
00:04:35,290 --> 00:04:37,090
I thought she was talking about me.
85
00:04:38,660 --> 00:04:42,740
This is a phase, right? Oh, yeah. All
girls go through that chastity stage,
86
00:04:42,940 --> 00:04:43,679
didn't you?
87
00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:47,140
Well, I did dress up as a nun once, but
it was an anniversary present for my
88
00:04:47,140 --> 00:04:48,140
husband.
89
00:04:48,180 --> 00:04:50,420
That one? No. Hello, anybody home?
90
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:52,040
That one.
91
00:04:52,420 --> 00:04:53,500
Come in, Your Holiness.
92
00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:54,880
Hello, ladies.
93
00:04:55,060 --> 00:04:56,460
Jeff, don't get up.
94
00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:59,660
I bought this for Zoe. She keeps
forgetting it at my house.
95
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:01,760
I can't imagine why.
96
00:05:02,540 --> 00:05:06,520
I never guess who I ran into this
morning. Phil Asher. Oh, yeah? How is
97
00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:07,520
and his wife broke up.
98
00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:08,760
Oh.
99
00:05:09,230 --> 00:05:13,710
Too bad. They were a great couple. Is he
dating yet? Don't even think about it.
100
00:05:14,050 --> 00:05:17,910
Come on. Phil is a good guy. He's down
-to -earth, kind, hard -working.
101
00:05:18,190 --> 00:05:21,050
So were the Amish, darling, but I don't
want to date them either.
102
00:05:22,130 --> 00:05:25,250
You know what your problem is? You would
rather sit at home and make Haagen
103
00:05:25,250 --> 00:05:27,670
-Dazs and Stolichnaya floats than get
out there and meet somebody.
104
00:05:28,150 --> 00:05:31,930
First of all, I would never defile good
vodka with a dairy product.
105
00:05:32,730 --> 00:05:36,730
And secondly, I have no desire to sit
here and be called a coward.
106
00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:41,680
Simply because I don't want to date a
bland little man named Phil.
107
00:05:43,620 --> 00:05:44,620
Think you had a nerve?
108
00:05:44,980 --> 00:05:46,320
She knows I'm right.
109
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:50,220
Hey, what do you think about inviting
Phil tonight to forensic and we'll
110
00:05:50,220 --> 00:05:51,720
accidentally bump them into one another?
111
00:05:51,940 --> 00:05:54,360
So, I would be like your date.
112
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,180
Only in the sense that you pick up the
check.
113
00:05:56,820 --> 00:05:57,779
Sounds fair.
114
00:05:57,780 --> 00:05:58,860
I'm going to take this up to Zoe.
115
00:05:59,180 --> 00:06:00,180
Eight o 'clock, okay?
116
00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:01,500
Perfect. Thanks, Ira.
117
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,340
You never dressed up like a nun for me.
118
00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:22,580
I guess this means the new maid quit.
119
00:06:24,380 --> 00:06:26,540
It's a remarkably good likeness. Yes.
120
00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:27,959
Oh, well.
121
00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:29,420
Another day, another voodoo curse.
122
00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:32,340
Why don't you dress? We have an 8 o
'clock reservation.
123
00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:33,920
We just stay here.
124
00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:35,080
Order out.
125
00:06:35,380 --> 00:06:36,380
Or you could cook.
126
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,420
Come on, I want to take you to dinner.
My treat.
127
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:40,440
You never treat.
128
00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:41,319
What's up?
129
00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:44,140
I thought I might have hurt your
feelings this afternoon. I want to do
130
00:06:44,140 --> 00:06:46,200
nice. Then give me a pedicure.
131
00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:50,660
Marianne, I set you up.
132
00:06:51,580 --> 00:06:52,580
With who?
133
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,040
A bland little man named Phil.
134
00:06:54,420 --> 00:06:58,980
Before you say no, just listen to me. He
doesn't even know it's a date. There's
135
00:06:58,980 --> 00:07:00,220
no pressure, no expectations.
136
00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:01,440
It's totally casual.
137
00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:05,880
Well, if it means that much to you.
138
00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:07,480
Atta girl!
139
00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:10,840
I have nothing to wear!
140
00:07:12,620 --> 00:07:13,620
Calm down!
141
00:07:13,980 --> 00:07:15,500
It's casual, remember?
142
00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:20,040
It'll... I have not been on a date in
twi... 25 years.
143
00:07:20,300 --> 00:07:22,720
So don't talk to me about casual.
144
00:07:23,180 --> 00:07:24,600
Okay. Okay.
145
00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:27,860
This is nice. How about this red one?
He'll think I'm a slut.
146
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:30,840
Purple. Snob.
147
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,640
Blue. Boring. Black.
148
00:07:32,900 --> 00:07:35,060
Death. White. Virgin. Yellow. Chicken.
149
00:07:37,140 --> 00:07:38,039
Okay, okay.
150
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:41,240
I have something new hanging in the
dressing room that might work. I'll get
151
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:45,340
Where is it? I don't see what you're
talking...
152
00:07:55,690 --> 00:07:57,450
If I come out, you're going to make me
go.
153
00:07:58,730 --> 00:08:00,290
Stop being such a baby.
154
00:08:00,590 --> 00:08:02,230
I'm not ready for another relationship.
155
00:08:02,590 --> 00:08:05,750
It's not a relationship. It's a plate of
ravioli.
156
00:08:06,910 --> 00:08:07,910
Oh, yeah?
157
00:08:08,270 --> 00:08:10,190
What if this Phil and I actually like
each other?
158
00:08:10,550 --> 00:08:12,610
What if we start dating, going away on
weekends?
159
00:08:12,870 --> 00:08:13,910
Then I'll want to live together.
160
00:08:14,590 --> 00:08:15,590
Get married.
161
00:08:15,910 --> 00:08:18,050
Next thing you know, we'll get divorced.
162
00:08:18,850 --> 00:08:20,470
And I'll have to start stalking him.
163
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:24,490
Marianne, none of that is going to
happen tonight.
164
00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:28,200
All you have to remember is to be
pleasant and not to drink directly from
165
00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:29,200
wine bottle.
166
00:08:32,059 --> 00:08:33,059
Marianne?
167
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:35,200
Sybil?
168
00:08:37,260 --> 00:08:39,039
I am so scared.
169
00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:41,080
That's normal, sweetheart.
170
00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:43,559
It'll be okay.
171
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:46,580
I'll be by you the whole time. I
promise.
172
00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:57,680
You're not going to wear that, are you?
173
00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:07,940
What about you, sir?
174
00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:09,380
Cappuccino, latte, espresso?
175
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:10,840
You have instant?
176
00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:12,780
Instant. Thank you if you got it.
177
00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,280
I'll try and find a styrofoam cup.
178
00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:17,180
That's okay. I'll drink it here.
179
00:09:19,380 --> 00:09:23,780
So, Marianne, I bet Phil would love to
hear how your house is just across the
180
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:24,960
street from O .J. Simpson's house.
181
00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:28,280
My house is just across the street from
Mochi Simpson's house.
182
00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:30,880
Tell them about the helicopter at the
night of the chase.
183
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:32,380
They were very loud.
184
00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:39,240
Yeah, that's a nice neighborhood that
Brentwood, my ex -wife, lives up there
185
00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,320
with her new husband. You and Stephanie
getting along okay?
186
00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,600
Oh, sure. Why not? Life's too short.
187
00:09:44,460 --> 00:09:46,680
What about you, Marianne? You get along
with your ex?
188
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:48,740
I hope his colon explodes.
189
00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:54,000
Sybil and I got along great after we
split up. Even made love one.
190
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:55,299
We did not.
191
00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:56,239
Did who?
192
00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:59,820
You didn't tell me that. He's lying. I
am not. You had three white Russians and
193
00:09:59,820 --> 00:10:00,960
threw yourself at me.
194
00:10:01,380 --> 00:10:03,940
Hey, Phil, that's some beautiful watch
you have there.
195
00:10:04,180 --> 00:10:08,020
Oh, what, $24 .95. Can you believe it?
Here, look at this darn thing. It's
196
00:10:08,020 --> 00:10:09,020
indestructible.
197
00:10:09,420 --> 00:10:11,680
I can't believe you're denying it. Watch
this.
198
00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:15,380
Now, that is value and quality.
199
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:17,720
Even spent most of the night.
200
00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:20,660
Excuse me, ladies' room. Marianne? Oh,
yes, me too.
201
00:10:21,780 --> 00:10:24,380
You don't buy a... fine 84 Beau Chalet.
202
00:10:24,700 --> 00:10:25,700
You rented.
203
00:10:26,180 --> 00:10:27,180
Good one.
204
00:10:28,620 --> 00:10:32,320
I am really upset with you. I know, I
know. Phil's not your type. I'm sorry I
205
00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:35,740
pushed you into this. Yo, how could you
do Ira without telling me about it?
206
00:10:35,860 --> 00:10:37,180
Forget that, did you?
207
00:10:37,580 --> 00:10:38,780
No, and I was drunk.
208
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:42,880
Now back to Phil. If you want to leave
any time, I understand.
209
00:10:43,420 --> 00:10:45,100
Why would I want to leave? I think he's
fascinating.
210
00:10:45,660 --> 00:10:46,820
I said I was sorry.
211
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:50,800
No, I really like him. I think he's sort
of cute and cuddly and a...
212
00:10:51,310 --> 00:10:52,530
Sloppy Joe kind of way.
213
00:10:52,770 --> 00:10:54,810
All righty. Do you think he likes me?
214
00:10:55,390 --> 00:10:56,510
Was I talking too much?
215
00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:59,390
Marianne, you hardly said a word. Oh,
should I talk more?
216
00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:03,190
Do you realize this is my first date
with a man other than my husband since
217
00:11:03,190 --> 00:11:04,670
Jerry Pinkus in the 11th grade?
218
00:11:05,210 --> 00:11:07,630
I'll tell you what. If you ask, I would
ask Phil if he likes me.
219
00:11:09,250 --> 00:11:11,110
How about I pass him a note in study
hall?
220
00:11:11,790 --> 00:11:12,790
Come on.
221
00:11:12,850 --> 00:11:14,730
But if he doesn't like me, I'll just
die.
222
00:11:21,450 --> 00:11:24,870
I'll push away for you, Marianne. Are
you okay? Fine, fine. I'm fine.
223
00:11:25,170 --> 00:11:27,630
Miss Sheridan? Yes? There's a call for
you. Oh, thank you.
224
00:11:27,910 --> 00:11:28,910
Hello?
225
00:11:29,430 --> 00:11:30,530
Oh, hi, Jonathan.
226
00:11:31,510 --> 00:11:32,810
How did you find me?
227
00:11:33,050 --> 00:11:34,050
My roommate?
228
00:11:34,170 --> 00:11:36,250
No, that's my daughter. My celibate
daughter.
229
00:11:37,470 --> 00:11:39,350
Listen, I can't talk now. I'm on a date.
230
00:11:39,930 --> 00:11:40,930
I am, too.
231
00:11:41,330 --> 00:11:43,790
Ira. Look, he wants to talk to you.
232
00:11:44,910 --> 00:11:46,710
Tell this man we slept together.
233
00:11:47,450 --> 00:11:48,450
I'm confused.
234
00:11:48,630 --> 00:11:51,030
Just do it. I'll tell him if you'll tell
Phil.
235
00:11:51,230 --> 00:11:54,810
Ira! Okay, who is he? The second in
command of the Starship Enterprise.
236
00:11:57,430 --> 00:11:58,430
Listen, Nimoy.
237
00:11:59,450 --> 00:12:00,730
Stay away from my woman.
238
00:12:01,030 --> 00:12:02,030
Close enough.
239
00:12:04,150 --> 00:12:06,470
We're leaving. Why? What's wrong?
Nothing.
240
00:12:06,930 --> 00:12:09,150
Philip invited me to go have a beer in
the valley.
241
00:12:09,450 --> 00:12:12,630
Isn't that sweet? Do you want us to go
with you? No, thank you.
242
00:12:13,050 --> 00:12:15,610
Oh, I wish we could go with you, but I
have another ex -husband at home, and he
243
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:17,990
worries if I'm out too late. Don't
worry. I got the check.
244
00:12:18,270 --> 00:12:19,089
Oh, thanks.
245
00:12:19,090 --> 00:12:20,090
Bye, Ira. Bye.
246
00:12:20,390 --> 00:12:21,390
Bye -bye.
247
00:12:23,010 --> 00:12:24,610
Can you believe that?
248
00:12:24,930 --> 00:12:25,930
Amazing.
249
00:12:26,050 --> 00:12:28,350
Well, looks like it's just you and me,
Seb.
250
00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:32,610
Again. There is no again, Ira. It never
happened.
251
00:12:33,110 --> 00:12:36,090
Well, then how about we go back to my
house, get you drunk, and have it not
252
00:12:36,090 --> 00:12:37,090
happen again?
253
00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:41,030
We'll take one of these.
254
00:12:44,790 --> 00:12:45,790
One of the ladies.
255
00:12:46,190 --> 00:12:47,190
Marianne.
256
00:12:47,330 --> 00:12:49,550
Who are we supposed to meet at the tea
room? What are you doing here?
257
00:12:49,750 --> 00:12:50,750
Working up an appetite.
258
00:12:51,370 --> 00:12:52,370
That's enough for today.
259
00:12:52,630 --> 00:12:53,630
Bag it and ship it.
260
00:12:55,050 --> 00:12:57,410
So are you going to tell me about what
happened with Bill last night?
261
00:12:57,930 --> 00:12:59,230
I drank a light beer.
262
00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:01,850
Did you know it's spelled L -I -T -E?
263
00:13:02,170 --> 00:13:03,170
Isn't that adorable?
264
00:13:04,230 --> 00:13:07,010
Yeah. We took a drive in a Sportcon
Victoria.
265
00:13:07,230 --> 00:13:08,230
What a car.
266
00:13:08,430 --> 00:13:12,470
You could put my entire Mercedes in the
trunk of that car and still have room
267
00:13:12,470 --> 00:13:13,470
for your tool.
268
00:13:14,020 --> 00:13:15,020
Philip said that.
269
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:17,040
I laughed. Oh, how I laughed.
270
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:21,940
Well, that's very nice. You've got your
first date under your belt, and who
271
00:13:21,940 --> 00:13:23,880
knows, the next guy you meet might be
really special.
272
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:25,240
And then I bought him shoes.
273
00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:26,920
Pardon?
274
00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:30,760
Our moonlight drive led to a midnight
sale at Nordstrom's, and I bought him a
275
00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:32,880
pair of Italian loafers. You bought him
shoes?
276
00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:37,660
Somebody was wearing last night some
kind of lumberjack thing. You bought him
277
00:13:37,660 --> 00:13:38,660
shoes?
278
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:42,980
You should have seen his face. He was
really tickled. That's what he said.
279
00:13:43,730 --> 00:13:45,110
Marianne, I'm really tickled.
280
00:13:46,010 --> 00:13:48,970
Mrs. Thorpe, would you like me to send
these to your house as well? Oh, no, no,
281
00:13:48,990 --> 00:13:51,010
no. I want them gift -wrapped and sent
to this address.
282
00:13:51,470 --> 00:13:52,470
Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop!
283
00:13:52,950 --> 00:13:54,630
You're sending him another pair of
shoes?
284
00:13:54,850 --> 00:13:57,670
What, are the tassels too much? Tell me,
I don't want to make a faux pas.
285
00:13:58,790 --> 00:14:01,910
Marianne, it's been a while since you
last dated. People don't give footwear
286
00:14:01,910 --> 00:14:02,910
like they used to.
287
00:14:03,830 --> 00:14:06,730
Oh, Tish, these will really brighten his
day.
288
00:14:06,970 --> 00:14:07,970
Go, go, go.
289
00:14:08,650 --> 00:14:11,790
You know, Sybil, I have you to thank for
this new relationship.
290
00:14:12,410 --> 00:14:15,790
Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm not taking any
credit for this. This is all you.
291
00:14:16,570 --> 00:14:17,570
Ooh,
292
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,150
cowboy boots.
293
00:14:19,770 --> 00:14:21,330
Oh, my God, what have I done?
294
00:14:28,890 --> 00:14:35,870
Something I can do for
295
00:14:35,870 --> 00:14:36,870
you, though?
296
00:14:37,150 --> 00:14:38,150
I'm curious.
297
00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:42,620
You're, what, 45, and you live above
your ex -wife's garage. What do you do
298
00:14:42,620 --> 00:14:43,620
self -esteem?
299
00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:46,260
Go away, though.
300
00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:49,700
It's not that I don't care for you. I
mean, after all, you are the father of
301
00:14:49,700 --> 00:14:53,180
half -sister, which, of course, would
make you, well, nothing to me.
302
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:59,440
It's just that before you graced us with
your extended presence, Mom promised me
303
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:00,840
I could have the room above the garage.
304
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:02,820
Oh, I get it.
305
00:15:03,180 --> 00:15:04,180
Boys, huh?
306
00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:06,580
Yeah, that's it, Jeff. Boys.
307
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:11,740
I need to create a private love nest to
satiate my burgeoning carnal hunger.
308
00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:14,480
Excuse me? Move out!
309
00:15:18,740 --> 00:15:19,740
I'm coming!
310
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:20,960
Sorry, Mom.
311
00:15:21,180 --> 00:15:22,740
I gave it my best shot.
312
00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:24,040
You talk to Jeff?
313
00:15:24,180 --> 00:15:25,460
I think I was too subtle.
314
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:28,500
Well, thanks for trying, honey.
315
00:15:30,140 --> 00:15:31,300
Oh, hi, Ira. Hi.
316
00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:32,760
right down, Dad. Okay, baby.
317
00:15:32,980 --> 00:15:33,839
We need to talk.
318
00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:37,340
About Phil? Yeah, I just got off the
phone with Marianne. No, no, not Phil.
319
00:15:37,700 --> 00:15:38,459
What's wrong?
320
00:15:38,460 --> 00:15:39,460
Look at my phone bill.
321
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:43,980
Zoe's been calling a 976 number from my
house. What kind of 976 number? I don't
322
00:15:43,980 --> 00:15:45,760
know. Some kind of chastity chat line.
323
00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:49,360
I called it and got to listen to a bunch
of teenagers talk about not having sex
324
00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:51,840
for $2 .95 a minute.
325
00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:55,500
I've been meaning to tell you about
this. Our daughter has decided to live a
326
00:15:55,500 --> 00:15:56,500
life of celibacy.
327
00:15:57,180 --> 00:15:58,180
Really? Great.
328
00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:02,180
Aren't you even a little concerned that
our divorce has turned her off to ever
329
00:16:02,180 --> 00:16:03,260
having an intimate relationship?
330
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,280
No, celibate daughter, happy dad.
331
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:10,400
I'm hoping she'll grow out of it. I'm
hoping you'll grow out of it.
332
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:11,800
Zoe! Wait!
333
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:16,140
Your friend Phil hasn't called Mary Ann
since they went out. Do you have any
334
00:16:16,140 --> 00:16:19,080
idea what's going on? Well, I have an
inkling. He thinks she's nuts.
335
00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:21,440
Just because she sent him a pair of
shoes?
336
00:16:21,660 --> 00:16:23,300
She sent him a pair of shoes every day
this week.
337
00:16:23,940 --> 00:16:27,200
Nuts? That's the word he used? Well,
there was a colorful word in front of
338
00:16:28,220 --> 00:16:29,320
You know, that's not fair.
339
00:16:29,660 --> 00:16:33,920
Marianne is a very loving and giving
human being. Shoes, Sybil. Seven pairs
340
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:34,920
shoes.
341
00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:37,280
Okay.
342
00:16:37,340 --> 00:16:38,440
She's slightly nuts.
343
00:16:38,740 --> 00:16:39,940
That wasn't a colorful word.
344
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:46,400
Hey, Dad, what do you say we get really
crazy this weekend and go see a movie
345
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:47,420
with no animals in it?
346
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:53,580
Yeah, fine. Listen, Zoe, I think that
maybe... We have to have a talk.
347
00:16:54,010 --> 00:17:00,110
What kind of talk? An honest, frank, no
-holds -barred talk about your, uh,
348
00:17:00,650 --> 00:17:01,930
you know.
349
00:17:02,190 --> 00:17:03,490
My what? Hair?
350
00:17:03,950 --> 00:17:05,310
Clothes? Graves?
351
00:17:05,530 --> 00:17:06,530
This.
352
00:17:07,130 --> 00:17:08,349
Nine, seven, six.
353
00:17:08,630 --> 00:17:09,630
Uh -uh.
354
00:17:09,910 --> 00:17:11,210
What do you do?
355
00:17:11,470 --> 00:17:12,650
Trace all my calls?
356
00:17:12,970 --> 00:17:15,609
Just the ones that cost me $374 a month.
357
00:17:16,310 --> 00:17:17,310
Listen, Zoe.
358
00:17:17,609 --> 00:17:21,710
It's perfectly fine with me that you're
not doing what you're...
359
00:17:22,810 --> 00:17:23,810
Not doing.
360
00:17:24,170 --> 00:17:27,089
Boy, when you say no holds barred, you
ain't kidding.
361
00:17:27,950 --> 00:17:31,070
I just want to make sure you're not not
doing this for the wrong reasons.
362
00:17:32,110 --> 00:17:33,110
What?
363
00:17:33,490 --> 00:17:34,490
Zoe, listen.
364
00:17:35,130 --> 00:17:38,590
We never sat down and had a real heart
-to -heart discussion about the
365
00:17:38,590 --> 00:17:42,570
toll a divorce had on you. Yes, and I've
always been very grateful for that.
366
00:17:42,850 --> 00:17:44,030
Come on, no jokes.
367
00:17:44,650 --> 00:17:46,770
You know your mother and I love you very
much.
368
00:17:47,310 --> 00:17:50,250
Just because we couldn't work out our
problems doesn't mean you can't have a
369
00:17:50,250 --> 00:17:52,850
wonderful relationship with a wonderful
man someday.
370
00:17:53,710 --> 00:17:54,790
Far in the future.
371
00:17:55,790 --> 00:17:56,930
When you feel you're ready.
372
00:17:57,270 --> 00:17:58,270
After I'm dead.
373
00:18:00,750 --> 00:18:06,070
I never told you this, Dad, but the day
you moved out was one of the worst days
374
00:18:06,070 --> 00:18:07,070
of my life.
375
00:18:07,570 --> 00:18:11,130
I know, honey. It was hard on all of us.
I just felt so helpless, like it was
376
00:18:11,130 --> 00:18:12,069
all my fault.
377
00:18:12,070 --> 00:18:15,230
No, no, no. Don't ever think that. It
had nothing to do with you.
378
00:18:15,550 --> 00:18:18,130
saying it. Daddy doesn't stop the bad
dreams.
379
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:19,430
Oh, baby.
380
00:18:19,830 --> 00:18:22,030
You know I would do anything to make you
happy.
381
00:18:22,330 --> 00:18:23,550
Anything in the world.
382
00:18:24,330 --> 00:18:25,570
Can I have a car?
383
00:18:28,970 --> 00:18:29,970
No.
384
00:18:30,590 --> 00:18:31,590
Okay, then let's go.
385
00:18:36,590 --> 00:18:37,790
Just like her mother.
386
00:18:40,470 --> 00:18:41,850
It was the shoes.
387
00:18:47,950 --> 00:18:50,530
And he thought it was obsessive and
scary. Go figure.
388
00:18:51,790 --> 00:18:53,910
What is the matter with me? What was I
thinking?
389
00:18:54,190 --> 00:18:57,390
You were thinking about making someone
happy, and there's nothing wrong with
390
00:18:57,390 --> 00:18:59,770
that. I always used to buy things for
Richard.
391
00:19:00,250 --> 00:19:04,590
Shirts, shoes, those little nose hair
clippers.
392
00:19:05,710 --> 00:19:06,710
I love that.
393
00:19:07,090 --> 00:19:08,530
And you'll get to do it again.
394
00:19:09,050 --> 00:19:11,770
But next time, maybe wait till the
second date.
395
00:19:12,730 --> 00:19:15,090
In the meantime, I'm really proud of
you, Marianne.
396
00:19:15,850 --> 00:19:16,930
You took a risk.
397
00:19:17,150 --> 00:19:18,150
Made yourself vulnerable.
398
00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:19,950
That's a big step.
399
00:19:21,250 --> 00:19:22,890
I guess I owe Phil an apology.
400
00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:24,470
No, you don't. He's fine.
401
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:25,910
No, I do.
402
00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:27,470
Come with me to his office.
403
00:19:27,690 --> 00:19:30,250
Just let it go. This isn't about him,
Sybil.
404
00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:31,470
It's about me.
405
00:19:31,550 --> 00:19:33,030
No, it's about him. Please.
406
00:19:33,330 --> 00:19:36,970
If I'm going to come out of this with
any dignity, I have to explain.
407
00:19:37,290 --> 00:19:38,590
Wait. Wait, Marianne.
408
00:19:38,910 --> 00:19:41,790
If you're going to insist on doing this,
I'm going to have to tell you the
409
00:19:41,790 --> 00:19:42,870
truth. What truth?
410
00:19:43,130 --> 00:19:44,670
He's dead. Phil's dead.
411
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:48,440
Nice try.
412
00:19:52,940 --> 00:19:59,560
So, the basic plans call for 18
413
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:05,020
residential units ranging from 3 ,000
square feet. I hope I'm not
414
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:06,240
Oh, Mary Ann.
415
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:10,900
Hi. Yes, I'm sort of in a meeting. This
will only take a minute.
416
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:12,160
Hi, Phil. How you doing?
417
00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:13,439
Hi, fellas.
418
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:16,340
I just came over to explain about the
shoes.
419
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:20,860
Uh -huh. Could we do this later? I
simply want you to know that I am not a
420
00:20:20,860 --> 00:20:24,720
lunatic. I'm sure you're not. You see,
I've just come out of a very long
421
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:29,460
marriage, and you were my first date,
and perhaps I was a tad overzealous.
422
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:30,699
Say no more.
423
00:20:30,700 --> 00:20:31,539
Thank you.
424
00:20:31,540 --> 00:20:32,780
Good work, Marianne. Let's go.
425
00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:37,940
Thank you, Phil, for being so
understanding.
426
00:20:39,220 --> 00:20:40,220
You're wearing the shoes.
427
00:20:41,220 --> 00:20:42,640
Those are the Tuesday shoes.
428
00:20:43,820 --> 00:20:44,860
I sent you those on Tuesday.
429
00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:46,600
Come on, Marianne. He's wearing the
shoes.
430
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:51,800
Say bye -bye. You won't return my phone
calls, but you'll wear my shoes?
431
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:55,160
Well, they are nice shoes.
432
00:20:57,100 --> 00:20:58,100
Give me the shoes.
433
00:20:58,980 --> 00:21:00,540
Maybe Phil could just send them to you.
434
00:21:00,780 --> 00:21:03,000
I want them now!
435
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:04,520
Marianne.
436
00:21:05,020 --> 00:21:06,840
Phil, you better give her the shoes.
437
00:21:07,220 --> 00:21:08,220
Maybe.
438
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:11,000
Could I just send you a check?
439
00:21:16,740 --> 00:21:18,840
I feel nice to see you. Hey, great sock.
440
00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:29,220
What a wonderful way to start the day.
441
00:21:33,220 --> 00:21:36,140
Yes, you're a good boy. Yes, you are.
442
00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:37,500
Isn't that yummy?
443
00:21:38,060 --> 00:21:39,740
Yeah. Here you go.
444
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,140
Don't forget dessert.
445
00:21:42,449 --> 00:21:45,870
That's a wonderful habit he's learning,
Marianne. Relax, I'm teaching him to
446
00:21:45,870 --> 00:21:48,710
appreciate fine Italian leather. He
won't touch your shoes.
447
00:21:50,030 --> 00:21:51,770
Marianne, it's all set. Thank you,
Jeffrey.
448
00:21:51,970 --> 00:21:52,869
What's all set?
449
00:21:52,870 --> 00:21:55,590
I've fixed her up with one of my
buddies. A former stuntman.
450
00:21:55,790 --> 00:21:56,810
Isn't that exciting?
451
00:21:57,150 --> 00:22:00,130
You really think that's wise, so soon
after the shoe incident? Oh, don't
452
00:22:00,250 --> 00:22:03,190
He's the perfect transition man for me.
Only has one foot.
453
00:22:04,870 --> 00:22:08,230
Oh, my God, you'll never guess who's at
the door. Jonathan Frakes, you pervert!
454
00:22:08,610 --> 00:22:09,610
Don't touch it!
455
00:22:09,710 --> 00:22:10,369
Why not?
456
00:22:10,370 --> 00:22:11,550
You know he's been asking me out.
457
00:22:11,870 --> 00:22:13,510
Somebody even told me he's married.
458
00:22:13,710 --> 00:22:17,170
You know what? I'd jump his bones in a
minute. What? What happened to your vow
459
00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:18,089
of chastity?
460
00:22:18,090 --> 00:22:21,890
Heather, this is the number two guy on
the Enterprise. If the bald guy dies,
461
00:22:21,950 --> 00:22:22,950
he's the boss.
462
00:22:23,610 --> 00:22:24,830
Stay away from that door.
463
00:22:25,130 --> 00:22:26,130
Shh.
464
00:22:33,090 --> 00:22:34,090
Nobody's home.
465
00:22:34,170 --> 00:22:35,510
Let's try Candice Bergen's house.
33404
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