Original subtitles

Up and down. Brush up and down, Homer.

You're looking for consistency.

Oh. Oh, is that what I'm looking for, Dad?

Hey, Wyatt, we're looking for consistency,

in case you were wondering.

That is some slick,

slick quality brushwork there, buddy.

Now, I'm painting. This is how you paint.

Come on, boys. You're gonna wake Carrie.

You're the one who's talking.

Hey, uh, Dad, is that better?

The... the coat isn't really thick enough.

Oh, yeah. At this rate, you two clowns

are gonna be up there until Christmas, probably.

- Okay. - Yeah.

Uh, Wyatt, careful.

- Hi. - You're too close to the edge.

I just saw her. She's awake.

Come back here!

Guys, I just figured out the family business.

- What's the family business? - This.

- We're gonna do this for a living. - Oh.

- Okay? - You know there's better things

- we can do than that. - Huh?

Shaw and Sons Painting?

Yo, Carrie!

- Hey! - My dad said you were here.

- Yes. - Homer, watch your step there.

Yes, I am.

Oh, fair warning, my deodorant's in a rental car somewhere

and I've... I've been wearing this outfit since yesterday.

- She looked good then, too. - I don't care.

Aw!

- Hi! - Hi.

Hey, Wyatt, say hi to Carrie.

- Hi, Wyatt. - Hi.

Uh, breakfast. Let's go inside and get some breakfast.

Oh, in... inside? Oh, no, no.

No, I'm gonna need a... a breeze, uh,

to be acceptable.

You don't have a trough out here

where you can just throw some slop and a non-fat latte?

I can give you some of my stuff to wear.

Aw, thanks. Alright, I'll follow you.

Grab her one of my Speed Sticks.

What, that bad?

Couldn't hurt.

Oh, my God.

You are so damn cute!

Man, oh, man.

You sure had a lot to say last night.

Was I talking in my sleep again?

I'm so sorry, honey. What was I saying?

It didn't make much sense, but the general subtext was

"keep my husband awake."

I'm so anxious about picking a new editor.

I'm three weeks behind because I can't make a decision.

Well, I'm three nights behind

because you can't make a decision.

I'm choosing today, I am.

Morning. I'm on Resy.

My father wants to eat early tonight.

How's 5:00 for dinner?

5:00 for dinner is lunch.

Well, he's old.

Like this banana, but with less bruising.

Wait, wait. Don't throw that out.

The lady in 10-F is asking if anyone has a spare banana.

Well, this man in 9-N is asking if she forgot

how to get to Gristedes around the corner.

Rude, Dad. This is about supporting

our building community.

It's Building Link, it's not a personal shopper.

It's always somethin' with that lady.

"Does anyone have a spare saltine?"

What do you plan to do with that?

I could maybe make banana bread.

- I look forward to that event. - Oh, uh, Rock.

Take a look at Pop-Pop's iPad, will ya?

He's got a million windows open.

He says he can't download anything.

I invited Diego to family dinner on Tuesday night.

I want you all to meet him while Pop-Pop's visiting.

You want us all to meet Diego? Oh, okay.

We will meet Diego.

Okay, I gotta go wake my father for breakfast.

- We're gonna have dinner soon. - Oh, he's already up.

Said he was going to the corner to get a paper.

There hasn't been a newsstand on that corner since the mid -'90s.

So, what, he's just roaming around out there,

lost in New Jack City?!

Honey, it's Park Avenue.

He's old now. He gets disoriented.

Apartment 8-C says "There's an older gentleman

wandering around the halls with a newspaper."

Community works.

How do you make banana bread, anyway?

Chef, where's my third flapjack?

So, uh, how long are you staying with us, Carrie?

Uh, we didn't get a chance to discuss it,

but Tate's coming up from UVA, and I was kinda hopin'

you'd stay around for his little birthday celebration

- next Wednesday. - Oh!

Sure. Oh. Yeah.

Yeah? Great, the big 2-1.

My three little baby chimps growin' up so fast!

- Bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup! - Baby chimps, okay.

Okay, Dad, we get it.

Well...

I'm gonna need some clothes. Is there a Target around here?

Oh, I bet you never thought you'd hear yourself say that.

My favorite bathing suit's from Target.

Oh. Hour away, I'll take ya.

So, we don't have to paint today?

Uh, you can paint while I'm gone.

It's cool. I don't need to paint.

Wait, isn't there some sort of, you know,

cute local place that I can walk to?

You know, like in a Reese Witherspoon movie?

Oh, there's that one place, um... uh, Daisy's Dress Shop.

It's like a mile away. I can take you if you want.

Well, if he's not painting, I'm not.

Who's in charge here, buddy?

Well, thanks, but I can walk.

A mile is like, what, from Gramercy Park

to... down to the Lower East Side.

Yeah, but you can't walk 'cause it rained last night,

so the road will be all muddy.

- What if she takes the ATV? - What's an ATV?

Yeah!

Look at you, you got it.

Alright, I'm ready to shop.

Do I need a license for one of these?

Nope. But you got a license. A license to thrill.

You're as hot as a gas station calendar girl.

- Which month? - All of 'em!

Alright, look,

you just go down this road about...

- Hm? - I don't know, a mile.

- Okay. - Just don't go too fast.

- Okay. - Nice and slow.

My goal is to go slower than anyone

has ever gone on one of these.

I'd take you myself, but as soon as I leave,

Wyatt'll be on the couch, back on the Switch.

House doesn't even need painting,

but if he's busy workin' outside, he's out of his head.

- Can you kiss me? - Oh, I sure can.

Don't run me over.

Alright.

Yeah.

Yeah.

See ya. Bye.

- Yeah, you got it! - Yeah, there you go!

- Yeah! - Whoo!

Come on, Carrie. You're a natural.

Have a good time!

Slow down, you're breakin' the sound barrier!

You've got Marion Odin waiting out there.

- I know. - What an amazing editor.

Coming in next. I'm really impressed

by her credits.

His credits. Marion's a man.

No!

There's no photo on IMDB.

Let's move this along. I don't want this conversation

read back to me in court.

I don't know if I'm allowed to say this.

- You're probably not. - But don't you think,

given the subject matter, there's a certain sensibility

that might not be present in a man?

Even one with a woman's name?

Yeah, definitely not allowed to say that.

I'll send Marion in.

Marion Odin.

Hi. Marion Odin.

Uh, so first, um, do I call you Lisa?

Lisa Todd? Lisa Todd-Wexley? LTW?

- It's just Lisa. Hi. - Okay. Nice to meet you.

Well, Lisa... first, let me say

that I caught your movie when it played Tribeca.

- You did? - Loved it.

- Oh. - You know, I was quite moved

by the three women's journeys.

And I can only imagine the challenge

of pulling it all apart again to find a new rhythm

for an entirely new 10-part series.

Especially without Grace.

You know Grace? Like, my Grace?

Ah, we were in the same softball team for a moment, yeah.

Of course, we editors did kick the directors' asses.

- I'm sure you did. - Uh-huh, yeah.

But only on the diamond.

Never in the edit.

This is your baby.

Your resume is so... impressive.

And you seem perfect.

- But... - But...

- Not a woman. - Oh!

- Because I'm not. - No, no!

No, I mean, it's... it's fine.

No, no, it's... it's... it's not that kind of "but."

I'm a woman on paper and a man in person.

Doesn't even matter.

Just, I need another night to think...

and I'll make my, um, decision... tomorrow.

You're staying till Thursday? Interesting.

So, welcomed with open arms?

Yeah, pretty much.

Um, Homer's adorable. You know, delightful.

And Wyatt seems to be acting normally.

Though, you know, what do I know?

Teenage boys are your turf.

Define "acting normally."

You know, antisocial, just wants to be on his phone.

Totally normal.

So, what are you doing down there?

Well, um, this morning I took an ATV to a, um...

... sister-wives dress shop.

- Impressed? - Completely.

And now, it's your turn to be impressed with me.

I'm going back on the BBC

and I was personally requested by Joy.

You know what that means?

You may have some joy in your life?

That is so sweet.

Well, I really have no choice. I'm surrounded by ruffles.

Ryan Serhant is in your office.

Hello, Ryan.

I'm shocked. I was sure you'd be sitting,

leaning back in my chair with your arms behind your head

- and your feet up on my desk. - No.

That would be a real dick move.

And the last time I did that, the chair went out from under me.

Ryan, as I responded to your texts and emails...

No, no, no, this isn't about me hiring you.

I'm here because I would like to acquire a property

and you're the only one who can help me land it.

- Okay, tell me about it. - It's one of a kind,

and at this point, completely undervalued.

And where is this property?

Mm, it's within walking distance, and...

It's me.

It's you. That's why you need to come and work for me.

'Cause you're one of the few people quicker than me.

But just the perfect amount of quicker,

not, you know, threatening.

Thank you very much.

But no.

Okay, well,

if you don't intend to work for the Serhant empire,

then you might want to be off this floor by next week.

I thought I had 30 days.

Sorry. My people need the space.

And sadly, there's the dick move you were expecting.

See you around town.

Shit.

Well, now that I have your attention,

what was wrong with the dining room table?

What dining room table?

"What dining room table?" What?!

The dining room table you gave the big thumbs down to.

Nothin'.

You wanted a quick answer, that was the quickest.

Oh. I thought it was really special.

I could see us sitting there having a whole life.

Well, in that case...

bloop-bloop.

Will you do me a favor?

Oh, my God, another one?

Okay, look,

i-if I give the boys off tomorrow...

- Mm-hmm? - ... would you just spend some time with them?

You know, let 'em get to know you?

Both of them?

'Cause Homer and I are already buddies.

Go Wildcats.

I know, but I can't single out Wyatt.

He'll just feel self-conscious.

Well, sure, but, um,

isn't... isn't that going to be kind of obvious?

You know, "Get to Know Me" day?

No, 'cause you won't make it like that, you'll just...

You know, I'll keep working on the house,

and you'll hang out and play a game.

We love games.

Scrabble, Jenga, Apples to Apples.

You like games? I don't even know. We never played a game.

'Cause I'm no good at 'em.

Except this mind game we're playing right now

called "Dad's going for a swim while Carrie takes a nap."

Nope. Totally believable, 'cause I swim every day.

What, should I have said, uh, "Going to the guest house

to ball my calendar girl"?

Oh, swim's over.

You timed our sex?

No. I timed the swim.

Sex would have been ten more minutes.

You better get up from your nap.

You're not gonna be able to sleep tonight.

So, tonight, um...

will I be sleeping out here again?

No. Tonight, you will bed in my chamber.

Hey. Hey!

- What's wrong? - Hey, hey.

Oh.

- Hey, hey. - What?

What...

You... No, I think... hey!

- No, ma'am. - Hey.

Hey! Hey!

- Morning. - Mm.

How'd you sleep?

Great. I slept great.

Good. Good.

I'm relieved I didn't wake you with talking.

Oh no, you did. "Hey!"

You kept saying, "Hey! Hey!"

Why was I saying, "Hey"? What was that about?

I think that the bigger question is why I didn't move

my tired ass to the guest room two nights ago.

You slept in the guest room?

Emphasis on "slept."

No, no, no. You can't move to the other room.

Do you know what they call that?

Common sense.

"Sleep divorce." When couples start sleeping

in different beds?

Baby, that's not who we are.

That's who we are right now.

No, that's who we are just until I pick an editor.

You said you were gonna do that yesterday.

Well, I panicked. Clearly, I panicked.

I mean, I know he has the most skill, but...

like, I'm just worried that if I hire a male editor

on a project about Black feminist trailblazers,

I could get dragged all over social media.

So, he's a guy, poor bastard.

- Is he at least Black? - Oh, he's Black.

Well, then you're done. You're clear.

Come on.

- Gimme that phone. - Jesus.

I want you guys to show Carrie what we do around here.

Like what? Hide all the beer?

Oh, man.

Whoa, Carrie!

Look at you.

Look at me. Little House on the Carrie.

Worth the trip into town.

Come here, Mary Lou Betty Sue.

Thank you for requesting me to do this.

It really means a lot.

Clearly, I'll be expecting a check.

Well, in lieu of a cold-hard-cash kickback,

can I offer a dinner?

What are you doing tomorrow night?

Oh, unfortunately, I'm already booked for dinner.

- Oh. - Meeting friends

in from the UK at Gramercy Tavern.

Oh! I'm house-sitting in Gramercy Park.

Maybe you could come by after for a drink.

I mean, you have a drink, I'll have a tea, and...

- Um... - Oh, the "drink-tea-and" combo.

Cheeky. I'd like that.

- Yeah? - Very, very much.

I mean, I still will be expecting a check.

Well, you know, naturally.

Okay, going live in 30 seconds.

Oh! Right!

- Okay, okay. - Here you go.

Um, thank you so much. Alright, I got it.

Um... Oh, can I hand you these?

Remember what we talked about.

- Hm, yeah. - So, if you feel yourself

racing through the information, just stop.

- Right. - Take a breath.

- Okay. - And then on you go.

- Right, right. - Yes?

- Okay. - Sound rolling.

Yeah, alright.

In five, four, three...

Human Rights Watch is closely monitoring the situation

in Central Africa where the number

of internally displaced in the north

has reached unprecedented levels.

The renewed fighting combined with the rough terrain

makes it almost impossible for the displaced

to access camps with safe water and sanitation

in the wild cunt... ryside.

- Did she just say "cunt"? - And yet...

Whoo!

Excellent.

Huh. Hmm.

And just like that, I'm fishing.

I hope I catch a salmon.

It's the only kind of fish I know how to cook.

Hey, you like salmon, Wyatt?

You can't catch salmon here. It's Virginia, not Alaska.

- Hey, hey, she was being funny. - It's okay.

Just, would you stop being so rude, Wyatt?

What? I hate fishing! It's so boring.

Well...

we have 24 hours off the chain gang,

what do you wanna do?

Ooh!

Hey. Hey, we're going to the mall to kill zombies.

- What? - Yeah, Wyatt wants to go

to, um, one of those VR places

- where you do those things. - No, no, no, no.

He just wants back on screens. That ain't happening.

Aidan, come on, man, it's the first time

he's made eye contact with me since I got here.

If he wants to kill zombies, we're killing zombies.

Well, you're not killing fucking zombies without me.

Oh. Alright, come on.

Wild cunt. Wild cunt. Wild cunt. Wild cunt.

Wild cunt. Wild cunt. Wild cunt. Wild cunt. Wild cu...

Hi, Mom. Or should I say "hi, meme"?

What is that video? And where did it come from?

It came from, like, everyone I know.

What were you even saying?

"Countryside." I was saying "countryside."

It's totally out of context.

Well, way to get famous.

Please don't say I'm famous.

- Please don't say that. - Don't freak out.

In a minute, a celebrity will say something stupid and you'll be over.

I hope so. God, I wanna be over.

Mom, I should go. I'm chopping,

and I don't wanna "cunt" my finger.

Brady, that's not funny.

This could be a disaster for me.

- Oh, man! - Where are you?

- Oh, no way! - Good one, Dad.

No! Fuck yeah, you motherfuckers!

- I got you. - Ooh, this is intense.

- Oh, fuck yeah! - They're coming right at you, Carrie.

- Ooh, right behind you, Carrie! - Oh, where?

- Dad, right behind you! - Good one, Carrie!

- Oh, thanks, honey. - Eat it, motherfuckers.

- I got you, Dad. I got you. - Oh! Ouch!

Hold. Hold. Actual impact.

What? Who got hit?

Me. I got hit on the head.

Player one made contact.

- Ooh! - It happens.

I was just trying to step in to save my dad.

- I didn't mean to. - It's okay, buddy.

- You alright? - Yeah.

- She's okay. - What are you doing?

- You wanna get back at it? - No, I think I'm... I'm...

I'm done killing zombies, for the day.

Okay. Game over.

- It was an accident. - No, I know.

I mean, you know, he's... he's not a violent kid.

Try not to make him feel bad.

Let me... let me get this vest.

Well, now I feel like I'm not allowed to touch my head.

- Ah. Come here. - Here's his vest. No joke.

- Yo, I'll take the helmet. - Wyatt.

- Aww. - It's alright, it's alright.

Whoa-ho-ho! Beautiful brisket.

Charlotte.

And my sister said you'd never be a real Jew.

- I thought Rita liked me. - Dad!

Oh, never mind. It's perfect.

10-F was asking if we still have that spare banana?

Jesus! There are five potential banana purchase points

in a two-block radius of this building.

What did you do, count them?

Yes. Let her get her own bananas!

You got a ton of bananas here.

She wants. You have.

Be nice.

Exactly, Pop-Pop.

Oh. Miranda, hey.

- I'm cooking. - Did you see it?

Oh, shoot, were you on today?

I missed it. Harry's father's here.

Ah, I don't want any special treatment.

Did you get me my cream soda?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, good.

Maybe it's not so bad.

Tell Aunt Miranda I saw her meme.

Fuck.

Ooh, Harry, let Anthony and Giuseppe in, okay?

I... I can't find my cream soda here.

Type "cream soda" into Building Link, see what we got.

Listen, Miranda, people are arriving.

Call me tomorrow, okay?

Oh, I will.

From whatever "cunt-ry" I've moved to.

Hello. I'm here for my banana.

- Oi. - Did someone say "banana"?

- Who are you? - Morris Goldenblatt,

at your service.

Well, isn't that nice?

Son, you gonna introduce me

to your... very attractive neighbor?

Sure. This is 10-F, Marilyn Scholl.

Marilyn, do you like brisket?

Mom, this is really delicious.

Do you have any spare barbecue sauce?

Uh, yes. I'll... I'll get you some.

So, what do you do, young man?

I just opened my own artisan bakery in the neighborhood.

Alright, don't brag.

I was talking to the young one.

Yeah, but you were lookin' at me.

Diego's a ballet dancer, Pop-Pop.

Here it is!

Oh.

Oh. Only this kind?

Um, what did I miss?

Um, I was just telling Pop-Pop that Diego's a ballet dancer.

- Oh. - So, you have

a ballet dancer boyfriend?

I do.

- Uh, I do, right? - Mm-hmm.

Good for you, Lily.

You know, back in my day, boy ballet dancers

didn't have girlfriends. They had boyfriends.

Back in my day, they did too.

Oh, I have a boyfriend too.

Oh!

- You... you do? - Mm-hmm.

Diego's poly.

Rock, you know all the new things.

What's your sister talking about?

Oh, polysexual.

Diego's attracted to multiple partners simultaneously.

I hope it's okay I spoke for you?

Yeah, that's cool. Thank you.

- Mm. - Well.

Does Polly want more brisket?

I'd love to take some home

if there's a spare Tupperware.

Mm.

Night.

Where are you going? I hired him.

I can't risk it, Lis. I have got a big day tomorrow.

I have a full day at work, I got three campaign Zooms,

and I need to sleep.

You're not even gonna give me a chance?

I will not talk in my sleep and keep you awake.

I promise.

One "Hey!", and it's sleep divorce, okay?

I mean it, Lis. I'm gone.

Stay awake. Stay awake.

Stay awake.

- Kiki? Bye, James. - Bye.

I'll send movers to collect my things for storage.

Short-term.

You know, I started in real estate as an assistant.

Someone saw something in me. I see something in you.

It'll be a small company at first, but it'll grow,

and you'll grow with it.

Yeah. My rent is 3,000 a month.

Got it.

Well, that was my best Jerry Maguire.

Who's Jerry Maguire?

It's a movie, Science-fiction.

Look at you! You look like a TV commercial.

Please don't say Summer's Eve.

Hey, look who's here.

Hey!

Come on.

- Hi, Dad. - Well, well, Tater Tot.

Yeah, I'm 21 now, huh?

So, maybe outgrown that?

Yeah. You remember Carrie?

Carrie? Carrie? No, I don't...

Hi, Carrie.

Hi. Happy birthday.

Thank you. It was two days ago, so...

Well, but you still gotta celebrate with us

because we made you, right?

- That was awkward. - Hi, Carrie.

- Hello, Kathy. - ... since the last five seconds?

- This is, um, Bob. - Hi, Boyfriend Bob.

You must be Girlfriend Carrie.

Yes, I... yeah.

Oh, there he is. Let me take this from you

so you can give me a giant hug.

I made your mac and cheese.

Eat all of it because you're ridiculously thin.

Yeah, 'cause he's working me too hard.

Call Social Services.

Okay, Dad, please don't try and be funny.

Can't help it. I'm hilarious, right, Carrie?

- Yes, you are, you're hilarious. - A-ha!

Let's get these burgers on.

I got a lot of fun planned for tonight.

Bob, honey, will you grab the cooler

from the car, and also bring the cake in the house?

Maybe I should call Social Services too, huh?

Thank you so much for bringing the Adderall.

- Oh. - I am deeply grateful.

No, I was glad to be helpful.

Um, the dress, is that from Daisy's by Daisy?

Yes.

I... you know, I didn't know I was gonna stay,

so I had to find something local.

Hey, Mom!

- Hey, handsome. - Hey.

Ooh!

- How are you? - Good.

- How was the trip? - Hello.

And, uh, as we say down here in Virginia,

what in tarnation was that video thang?

It's bad, right?

I wouldn't say it was good.

But is it bad enough to end

whatever I almost had going with Joy?

Because I had invited her over, and she just canceled.

You invited her over to my house?

- Why? Is that a problem? - No, no, no, it's just...

you know, I don't have any furniture.

Where are you guys gonna sit?

Oh. You have a bed.

Look at you.

Yeah, well, best laid plans.

Before the meme, she was excited to stop by

after a dinner with her friends.

But I just got a call that she's running late to that,

and won't have enough time with them.

So, she has to cancel.

Meme-related, right?

Well, there's really only one way to find out.

Why don't you ask her to invite her friends over

for a drink after dinner, you know?

I mean, I don't have furniture, but I have wine.

You are a genius.

I don't know about that.

But I do know you're probably the only one

thinking about that video.

There's been a million memes since then.

Yeah, that's what Brady said.

Great minds. Alright, well, have fun.

And tell them I'm sorry there's nowhere to sit.

- What? - Oh, there you go.

- Yay! - Hey.

- Hey! - Come on.

- You were asking for that. - Coffee.

Yeah.

- Coffee. - I mean, it was hard for me

to break in.

Mm.

They... they are a... tight-knit group here.

But after, well, four years down the road,

it feels pretty normal.

You know? So...

You got me something?

- Yes, he did. - Thank you.

Of course, every now and then, there is a...

a bump.

He does not like me to have an opinion.

- Aidan. - Oh.

Uh, so I don't. um...

Oh, thank you, thank you.

But about this whole Adderall thing?

I mean, I side with Kathy.

Why doesn't he want Wyatt to take it?

You know, if it helps?

I just don't get it. What do you think?

- Did Mom get me a gift from you? - Oh.

- Huh? - You know what, Bob,

can you excuse me for just a minute?

- Oh. - I'm just...

Yeah.

Aidan, I had no idea that you didn't approve

of Wyatt and Adderall.

Bob just told me.

I wouldn't have brought it.

You... you know that, right?

Yeah, of course, I know that.

Well, I just... I... I feel awful.

- I don't understand why Kathy... - Carrie, not tonight.

It's okay. Come on, it's Tater's birthday.

♪ Happy Birthday... ♪

Yes, I brought my very good friends

and enough gin to help me endure their endless chatter.

Works both ways, darling.

- Hello. - Hiya. Colleen.

- Don't know them. - Oh, hi. Come on in.

I'm... I'm Miranda.

Thank you for having us, Miranda.

Oh, my God.

Are you "wild cunt"? Colleen, Miranda's "wild cunt."

No!

You are "wild cunt"!

Loved your meme.

Nice to meet you, Wild Cunt.

I'm more of a tamed cunt myself.

Oh, my God, I can't believe

we're in Wild Cunt's flat!

Well, this isn't actually my flat.

And, uh, the meme was taken out of context.

Don't you mean "cunt-text"?

- Taken out of "cunt-text"? - Have a mint!

There is no winning with this lot.

Shall we go in?

Where is "in"?

Is this an art gallery?

- There's no furniture. - Well, maybe where the gin is.

I've got the gin.

What the fuck?

Or should I say, what the non-fucking fuck

is going on down there?

Honey, your father is in the next room.

- It's understandable. - Not really.

I had sex with my high school girlfriend in the laundry room

while my mother was nearby in the kitchen

- making a Waldorf salad. - Well, that wasn't smart.

No, but it was hard!

This is not like me.

What, is... is this it? The beginning of the end?

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Old age."

Honey!

What is going on with you lately?

You're just suddenly obsessed with old age.

Because it's coming!

Just look at my father.

I mean, he used to be so virile, a... a real goer.

Now, he... he's just walking around with a limp banana.

I already have his feet. I don't want his dick.

Mine is still good.

I got a warranty around here someplace.

Honey,

you are not your father.

But someday, that warranty might expire.

I'm sorry, but it might.

And sex... might be off the table.

But will that mean that we're not connected anymore?

Will not having sex mean that we aren't Harry and Charlotte?

I'm thinking.

No. No.

I will always, always love you

in every way humanly possible.

Good.

Now, tell me again how I'm not my father.

Okay.

Um...

Can I come in?

Ok... Okay. Come in, Rock.

- So... - Mm-hmm?

I just cleaned up Pop-Pop's iPad.

And that stuff he was trying to download?

- PornHub. Lots of PornHub. - Oh.

- Uh... - Yeah, so maybe don't ask me

to do stuff anymore, like, ever.

Oh, okay, um... Okay, sweetheart.

Why don't you just go give this back to him

and just don't say anything.

He's not here.

He said he's going up to 10-F.

And not to wait up for him.

There's life in the old banana yet.

No, no, the most treacherous night

we've ever spent together was that night in Kabul

when this one tried to pass off Sybil as his fiancée.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God, yes!

That homophobic border guard.

"I'm Cyril Sylvestri,

and this is Sybil Cummings,

- and we are affianced!" - Affianced.

Has there ever been a sentence structure

- with more S's? - Hm.

Seriously.

- Darlings, laugh all you want. - Sorry.

- Sorry, darling. - But the rat bought it,

- and I'm alive. - No, darling!

You're alive because Joy gave the rat a fistful of cash.

- Ohh! - Ice?

Okay, so I pick whichever card

best describes the word "delicate"?

No, you're supposed to pick the, uh, definition

you like the most, not the actual definition.

Pick "dog farts."

Hey, it's supposed to be anonymous.

You don't have to pick his. I'll drive you

- to the airport tomorrow. - Thank you.

Okay. Um, I pick, um...

- "Walmart." - Yes!

- I am destroying Apples to Apples tonight. - Go, Mom.

Wait, wait, how is that delicate?

Oh, well, I would like to think of Walmart

as a, uh, delicate social experiment.

- Ah. - That's good.

Okay, it's my turn to be the judge.

Then, why don't you go deal already?

He's doing it.

Does anyone need anything? Hm?

- Bob, you good? - I am good.

Bobby.

The word is "mysterious."

- Ooh, mysterious. - Ooh, mysterious.

Got a good one for that.

Fanning yourself. Okay, we got one.

Alrighty.

There's five.

- Ready? - Mm-hmm, yeah.

The word is "mysterious."

- Mm-hmm. - Yes.

"Pumpkin spice latte."

"My dance moves."

"Three hours sleep."

"Shark attack," and "Jennifer Lawrence."

- "Three hours sleep"? - Yeah, my cards suck.

Ugh.

Uh, well, "my dance moves" is definitely Dad.

How'd you know? Wow!

Hey, hey, come on now.

I pick...

- "pumpkin spice latte." - Oh! Oh, my God, that's me!

- Congratulations. - There you go, Carrie.

Thank you. Because it's a mystery

as to why they're so popular.

- I do not like them at all. - See?

- Why'd you pick hers? - My first one.

That doesn't even make any sense.

Jennifer Lawrence played Mystique in X-Men.

Well, it's not literal.

"Mysterious" is, like, right there in her name.

- I should have won that. - Well, you'll get the next one.

- I didn't win any so far. - Carrie picked you once.

But none of you ever pick mine. None of you.

Her name is Mystique, come on.

Jesus, fuck.

- Hey. - Hey, man.

- No one ever picks mine. - Great, here we go again.

- Yeah, it's Wyatt time. - You know what? Fuck you both.

I'm not playing. It's stupid.

Guys, come on.

- What? - Dad?

Hey, Wyatt. Yeah, you're gonna play.

He just needs some time to cool off.

Hey, we're all playing a game.

- Bob's not playing. - Bob never plays.

- True. - No, no. No, sir. Come on.

- Screen off. - Aidan.

Dad, come on, stop babying him. Let's play.

Hey, Switch off.

Wyatt. Off. We're playing a family game.

It's not a family game! It's not family. They're here!

We all just need to calm down.

Nobody cares about me! Nobody!

All they've ever done is care about you!

"Poor me, my parents got divorced."

- Fuck you, Tate! - Grow the fuck up!

Don't you see why he needs it?

- Kathy, don't start. - No, I'm sorry,

but he... this is why he needs to be on medication.

I... I don't understand how you don't see it.

The kid's got substance abuse issues as it is.

You wanna load him up on pills?

He was diagnosed with ADHD,

and I don't think painting a house is the answer.

And I'm not loading him up on pills.

- I resent that. - Yeah?

Well, I resent you asking Carrie

to mule your shit down here from New York.

Oh, Aidan, look, I know you are really upset

about her seeing this...

Okay, Kath, nobody asked you to get her involved.

- Nobody asked Bob to get involved. - Hey!

- What the fuck? - What does Bob have to do with it?

I don't need his opinions on how I raise my family.

Oh! So, it's your family now?

Take a breath, Aidan.

- Great birthday. - I'm sorry, Tate.

Fuck you, Wyatt!

Fuck you, Homer!

Fuck you all. Fuck you all.

Wyatt! Wyatt, goddammit!

Come back here!

- Wyatt, come back here! - Yeah.

How are you?

I need to go for a real swim.

Well, thanks so much for hosting.

Your friends seemed to have a good time.

Yes, they always do. Exhaustingly good time.

- Yeah. - Thanks again. Good night.

Joy?

You were so quiet tonight.

Well, I couldn't seem to get a word in edgewise.

Well, not just that.

You could barely make eye contact with me,

and when you did, you looked away.

Let's see, what can I say here? Um...

You don't have to say anything.

You gave me a chance, and I said "wild cunt."

And now, I'm a meme and a joke

to you and your friends, and you can barely look at me.

Which is sad, because I think we could have been a...

drink-tea-and... something.

So, you think that my behavior

is because of some stupid meme?

Well, what else could it be?

Well, it could be that when I realize

that I'm attracted to somebody, I tend to shut down.

You're still attracted to me?

I am.

You wild cunt.

Now, I want to warn you in advance

of what I feel is about to happen next,

that I am a horrible, horrible kisser.

Let me be the judge.

Liar.

Mm.

Oh.

You, uh...

- You're back out here. - Yeah, I... I don't know.

I felt like maybe you guys needed some space.

I owe you an apology.

I... I should have never asked you to stay.

Then, why did you?

I... I felt guilty 'cause you came all the way down here.

And if I couldn't ask you to stay, then what did...

What did that say about us? But it was too soon.

Well, I owe you an apology, too.

Come here.

When you said that you needed to be down here

and without me...

I didn't believe you.

I mean, I let you think that I believed you,

but I really didn't believe...

you needed to be here.

But now, I do.

You need to be here, and without me.

You breaking up with me?

Oh, my God, no.

Oh, my God, no, Aidan. No, in fact...

I realized that you didn't have a key to Gramercy.

So, open your hand.

Use it when you can.

Use it when you need, but don't use it out of guilt.

I am so glad I was here,

because I realized that even though I think I'm not good

at playing games,

I've been playing one this whole time.

You know, the waiting game. I'm waiting for you to...

push this all forward.

You know, I haven't even bought furniture.

I still have the mattresses stacked up

in the upstairs hallway, not knowing if the boys are gonna come.

But they're not, they're not coming.

You know, not for a while, I think.

So, no more games.

And I love you.

And I'll be there.

Good.

Thank you.

Mm.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we are now beginning our final descent

into New York's JFK Airport.

In preparation for landing,

please ensure your seat belts are fastened,

your seat backs are upright, and your tray tables

and all large electronic devices are stowed.

On behalf of the crew,

thank you for flying with us today,

and we wish you a pleasant stay here in New York.

The woman glanced out of her train compartment mystified,

not quite sure if her taxing journey had brought her

closer to or further from

the things she most longed for.

- Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -