Original subtitles

Good morning, Rock.

Good morning, Lawrence.

Smiles, everyone, smiles.

Ah, such a nice young couple. Here for a romantic holiday, I presume.

That remains to be seen, Lawrence.

But they look so happy. And one of them is. Mr. Gary Tucker is a very happy man.

His wife, Kathleen, is another story.

She's here to try to save their marriage.

I don't follow you.

Well, you see, Mrs. Tucker has recently discovered that her husband has a

mistress.

A mistress?

Yes. And he doesn't know he's been found out.

No wonder he looks happy.

And not that I approve, sir. Neither does Mrs. Tucker.

Her fantasy is for her husband to make a choice between his wife and his

mistress before they leave the island.

Oh, dear.

They're starting a vacation together and they're not even feeding.

Doesn't bode well, does it, sir?

I'm afraid you jump into conclusions, Lawrence.

The lady is Mrs. Joan Mallory, a widow from Coos Bay, Oregon. The gentleman is

Mr. Alan Reynolds, a widower from Bangor, Maine. They have never seen each

before today.

I stand corrected.

There will be no more jumping to conclusions for me.

That's good.

I assume her fantasy is to recapture her lost wild youth.

No, Lawrence.

No? No. Her fantasy is to get to know a suitable gentleman of her own age.

Object?

Romance. Aha.

then it is safe to conclude that Mrs. Mallory and Mr.

Reynolds will not be strangers for very long. Yes, but I'm afraid Mrs. Mallory's

problem cannot be solved with a mere kiss or two.

My dear guests, I am Mr. Rourke, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

Oh, Gary, isn't it beautiful?

You and me alone in a tropical paradise?

Oh, it's been so long.

Kathy, please, I know how long it's been. I know I've been spending too much

time at the office.

Gary, I didn't mean... I know what you meant, all right.

Making a career work takes time, lots of it.

And I don't want you making me feel guilty about it.

I didn't mean to make you feel guilty, Gary. Sometimes, well, sometimes things

just come out wrong.

All right, hey, forget it.

You practically kidnapped me for this vacation, so let's enjoy it.

What do you say I check this place out, make some plans for us while you unwind?

You can call the concierge on the house phone.

I know, but I kind of feel like stretching my legs.

See you soon.

May I direct you someplace, Mr. Tucker?

No, thank you, Mr. Roark.

I'll find my way around.

May I?

Thank you.

I just hope he's not finding his way around to a phone to call her.

Why upset yourself by jumping to conclusions, Mrs. Tucker?

Because that's all I seem to do anymore, ever since I found out about them.

When he's not with me, I'm sure he's with her, and when he's with me, I'm

he's thinking about her.

What are you willing to risk to find out the truth?

Anything.

Anything. Well, then will you and Mr. Tucker be good enough to join me in the

Renaissance Garden at noon?

All right.

Any member of my staff will direct you there. Will you excuse me?

Yeah, Mrs. Mallory, I see your fantasy is well underway.

I see your fantasy has begun.

What?

Can you hear me, Mrs. Mallory?

What?

How are you doing?

Oh, better now that I know I'm not deaf.

Good.

Mr. Rock, if you have a minute, I'd like to talk to you about something.

Oh, certainly.

Do you mind?

Thank you.

Now, I'm starting to have second thoughts about my fantasy.

Oh?

Back home in Coos Bay, in the middle of a cold drizzle, coming to a tropical

island and having a, well, a romance.

It seemed like just what the doctor ordered.

But, well, now that I'm here, I feel, well,

maybe stupid is an understatement.

Is that really how you feel about it?

Huh?

I can't fool you, can I, Mr. Rourke?

My real problem is it seems too soon.

My husband hasn't been dead that long.

How long has it been?

Ten years.

Ten years?

So it wasn't exactly yesterday.

Here are the dresses for Mrs. Mallory's perusal, sir.

Excellent, Lawrence.

Excellent. Mrs. Mallory, may I suggest that these gowns would be a wonderful

addition to your wardrobe?

That is, if you decide to go ahead with your fantasy.

Gowns would be my wardrobe?

Indeed.

Let's go for it, Mr. Rourke.

On with the fantasy.

You look lovely, Mrs. Mallory. Lovely.

Thank you.

I don't even feel like me.

And this is very nice. Oh, better than nice.

And now there is someone I'd like you to meet. May I?

Mrs. Joan Mallory, Mr. Alan Reynolds.

Don't I know you?

Even if you don't, I'm sure you'll both soon remedy that.

Will you excuse me? I'll see you later, Mr. Orr.

Thank you.

It's a beautiful day.

What do you say we make some memories together?

Oh.

Hi. Hi.

We're expecting Mr. Ward.

What a nice -looking couple.

Yes.

And Miss Sinclair, did you extend my invitation?

Yes, sir. In fact, she's on her way now. Good.

If you don't mind, sir, I checked on the lady. Miss Sinclair does not seem to

appear on any of our lists as having put in a request for a fantasy.

Yes, Lawrence, I know, I know. Then why is she here?

Because she is Mr. Tucker's mistress.

The mistress of that Mr. Tucker?

I believe there is only one Mr.

Tucker registered with us.

Isn't that so, Lawrence?

Ah,

Miss Sinclair.

You must be Mr. Rourke. Welcome to Fantasy Island.

Well, thank you for the intriguing invitation. You are most welcome.

And do you still promise me that mysteriously unforgettable weekend you

Absolutely.

It will begin if you come right this way.

But, sir, don't you think it's a bit crowded over there?

It will be by at least one, Miss Sinclair.

Mr. Rourke, I love fun and games as much as anyone else.

But I do like to know what game I'm playing.

What's this about?

A marriage, Miss Sinclair. No, more precisely, a triangle and the bringing

together of the principal players.

Well, you sound like you need a social worker or a stage manager.

But not me, Mr. Rourke.

I mean, where would I fit in?

Unfortunately, in the middle.

Mrs. Kathleen Tucker, I'd like you to meet Miss Ellen Sinclair.

Ellen!

Gary. Ellen!

And now, if you'll excuse me, I must welcome the afternoon plane.

Lawrence?

All right.

I'll go first.

What is this? Some kind of a joke? Some kind of a rotten, lousy joke?

She knows.

Of course I know. What do you think, I'm stupid?

You have to be deaf, dumb, and blind not to know.

It's not what you think, Kathleen.

Oh? What is it, then?

It's a mistake.

What? You having a mistress or us all ending up here together?

I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.

But I'm leaving.

Kathleen, I can explain. I doubt it.

Very good. I haven't had so much fun since... Well, I can't remember. No,

been too long. Oh!

Now, what do you want to do?

That is, unless I have a stroke within the next five minutes. Well, I'm happy

just being with the most attractive lady on the island.

Well, that's a very nice thing to say, Alan.

I mean it, Joan.

Tell me, do you think that love at first sight is just for kids?

Well, I've never really thought about it.

Until now.

Well, then how about giving it your immediate attention?

I've thought about it.

And I definitely don't think the kids have a lock on it.

Mrs. Mallory, you look very jaunty and dashing.

Oh, Mr. Rock, I'm having such a wonderful time.

I have to get to the boutique before it closes. I have to get some new lipstick

and perfume. And listen to me, I'm carrying on like a schoolgirl.

I'm glad everything is turning out as you had planned.

Oh, there is one thing, but I'm sure it will make no difference.

What is that?

Your son and his family have just arrived on the island.

Oh, no.

How did they find me?

Well, your son told me that he became worried when he noticed your suitcases

some of your personal items were missing.

And then he apparently found the itinerary for your trip.

Was there some reason you didn't wish your son to know you were about?

I couldn't very well tell him I was running away from home to...

Mother, we were so worried about you.

Oh, Mom, you look terrific.

Thanks.

I'm glad to see you, but I really must be going.

What's going on here?

Nothing. I'm just having a little holiday.

A holiday?

Uh -huh.

That's it, isn't it?

You think we've been neglecting you at home, so you decided to teach us a

lesson. Richard, I have no idea what you're talking about. I've never thought

that ever.

And now I really must be on my way.

Where are you going? We just got here.

Nice seeing you all.

Mr. Rourke?

No, I'm sorry, Mr. Mallory, I'm sorry. I never interfere in family matters.

Well, almost never. Will you excuse me?

Mr. Rourke.

I thought you might need to talk.

How could you do that to me? How could you spring his mistress on me like that?

It's called confrontational therapy.

It's very difficult to fight an enemy you've never seen.

And what did I see?

Mr. Rourke, she's not as gorgeous as I expected.

And she's not some 18 -year -old nymphette.

What's wrong with me anyway if he's so anxious to have her?

It's not necessarily that anything is wrong with you.

Mrs. Tucker, some men just like the adventure, the excitement of someone

So the marriage gets stale and the romance isn't there anymore.

Who am I kidding? It's over between Gary and me. You wouldn't be here if you

really thought so, would you?

No, no, no.

No, Mrs. Tucker, you've come to Fantasy Island to find out if you can save your

marriage when other women might have given up.

Oh, do you think there's still a chance?

The answer to that question is exactly what your fantasy is all about, isn't

Okay. I may not win, but that octopus is going to know she's in for a hell of a

fight. Good girl.

He wants adventure? He wants surprise?

He wants something new?

I'll give him something new. He ain't seen nothing yet.

Well, what'll it be, Joan?

A dance or a stroll on the beach?

How about just being together?

I'll buy that.

You are a beautiful lady, Mrs. Mallory.

And you're a wonderful fellow, Mr.

Reynolds.

How about that nightcap?

You must think I'm a real lowlife, don't you?

I don't take it upon myself to judge people, Mr. Tucker.

But now that you mention it... Well, I didn't mean to hurt either one of them.

Sadly, there are some situations which do not have within them the ingredients

of success.

They're both terrific.

Kathleen is safe.

Ellen is...

It's exciting.

I need them both.

Yes, I tried to explain your attitude to your wife.

And?

Men have been trying to expound upon your theory for thousands of years.

Perhaps you'll have better luck.

And if you do, Mr. Tucker, you'll be a legend in your own time. Will you excuse

me?

You should complete the picture, madam.

Oh, Lauren, it's perfect.

Very effective.

Yes. Please let me know if I can be of any further service.

Thank you, but now it's time for me to go to work.

Kathy.

I've been waiting for you.

Wow. I thought you'd be packing or... I thought you'd be gone. I didn't think

you'd...

And

where would I go? I came here to be with my husband and I'm going to leave with

my husband.

Listen, about Ellen... Forget about Ellen.

I want to talk about...

Now, I love you.

And I think our marriage is worth saving, don't you?

Of course, and I love you too.

I didn't want a divorce if that's what you thought. I know you, Gary.

I knew you'd realize how much we meant to each other.

I knew you would make the right choice.

Choice? Mm -hmm. Between Ellen and me.

I know you feel bad about what happened. I know you do. I can see it in your

eyes. Although it was a rotten thing to do.

But... I wasn't there for you. If I let you down, well, it won't happen again.

So, when's she leaving?

Who?

Who we've been talking about.

Ellen.

Oh, Ellen's not leaving.

Of course she is.

Once you tell her how much your marriage means to you. Why would I tell her

that? Why? Yeah.

Gary, you just said you didn't want a divorce.

I don't.

Well?

I don't want a divorce, but I don't want to stop seeing Ellen either. I thought

you understood.

I understood nothing of the kind.

What is it going to be, her or me?

Kathy, baby.

Times have changed. Where were you during the sexual revolution?

Probably buried under a pile of your laundry.

So what's it going to be, pal?

I won't choose.

Oh, really?

Don't choose, huh?

Okay?

Okay.

Then I'll choose for you.

Kathy? Out.

Out!

Is this the way to our bungalow? No,

it's the way to Mother's bungalow.

I'm not sure.

Not sure about what, Joan?

Your feelings for me?

No, not that.

It's a magic I never thought I'd feel again.

I don't want it to go away.

Do you?

No.

I feel that magic, too.

Excuse me, I didn't mean to interrupt.

We just stopped by to tell you that we love you and need you.

But you obviously don't need us.

over for you all morning.

As opposed to avoiding me yesterday, yes?

I wasn't ready to see you yesterday.

Or last night, correct?

Especially last night.

I'm sorry about that.

Why be sorry?

If that's what you wanted to do.

Oh, Richard, try to understand.

Oh, I do understand.

Poor mother.

She thinks she's been a burden to her son and his family, so what does she do?

She packs herself off to some fancy resort island and...

She falls into bed with the first man that she sees.

That is not what happened.

You've been here one lousy day.

You're my mother.

And you think your mother is the only woman in the world who doesn't have need

for companionship and sharing and love?

We love you.

Oh, grow up, Richard. I haven't done anything wrong.

Maybe not in your eyes.

But what about your granddaughters?

Did you give a moment's thought to Michelle?

What about Michelle?

She knows as well as I do that that was some guy you never saw in your life

before yesterday.

She was there last night, too, remember?

Oh, Richard.

Hi. How did you get out?

Kathleen threw me out last night.

What?

Kathleen really put the screws on me to make a choice between you.

Honey, my nails are wet.

And when I refused to make that choice, she made it for me.

She'll come around.

She'll take you back.

Oh, no.

No more sneaking around.

We're out in the open now.

Mine will be the first face you see in the morning and the last one at night.

Oh, no.

Gary, you're moving too fast.

Your wife is a lovely woman. I really mean that.

You two have too much time invested together and memories.

It would be a shame.

No, it would be a crime to throw that away.

I always knew you were beautiful, Ellen.

But to be honest, I never knew how really good you are and a noble.

Boy, I've really been a bum, and I swear to you, I'm going to make it up to you.

All these months of making you my backstreet woman, they're over.

From now on, it's you and me, kid.

Right out there for the whole world to see.

I'm sorry I'm late, Alan.

I was just having a little tap.

of my son.

Who? Explain the facts of life to him?

Oh, he knows them.

I'm afraid it's the fantasies of life he's weak on.

I'm sorry, Joan. I wish last night hadn't have happened, but, well, at

we can have our brunch and map our itinerary for the rest of the day.

Oh, I've already ordered for us. I hope you don't mind.

Have you ever seen anything so wonderful?

Doesn't that look glorious?

I've never seen anything like it until just this moment.

Papaya and guava and... What's this?

Bologna. This is all bologna, Joan.

You're acting as if we were two strangers.

I'm afraid I'm upset.

What did your son say to you?

Words to the effect.

I should set an example for my granddaughter.

Joan, what we have here is the beginning of something that's truly lovely.

He doesn't seem to understand that.

I know, Alan, and I agree with you.

But from his viewpoint, he may be right.

Bartender.

Could you send a drink to that gentleman down there?

Thanks for the drink.

I'm Matt Verner. I'm Kathleen Pucker, and I've never done anything like that

my whole life.

Well, I never would have guessed.

You did it with great finesse and style.

Are you an American?

Don't I sound like one?

Oh, yes. I always seem to ask that question whenever I travel.

You travel a lot? Almost never.

Well, come on, Kathleen Tucker. I'll make it easy for you.

Let's dance.

All right.

Do you remember, sir, when the music we listened to had lyrics and the dances we

did had names? Ah, yes.

The Roomba.

The tango. Such fire.

Such grace.

Why, Lawrence, a sight of you I've never seen before.

Most dashing.

Why, thank you, sir.

Oh, look, there's Mrs. Tucker now.

Apparently, the lady has taken charge of her own destiny.

And I pay bully for her.

I know a good girl isn't supposed to come on the way I did, but you know

something? What's that?

Sometimes a good girl has got to be a woman.

Horrific. A lady with brains and sex appeal.

What do brains have to do with it?

May I?

Of course. Thank you.

May I?

Oh, I didn't know the fantasy included a dance with a host.

Are you enjoying your fantasy, Mrs. Tucker?

Well, it didn't turn out exactly like I expected, but yes, I'm enjoying it.

With strange men you meet at bars?

Why not?

He thinks I'm smart and he thinks I'm sexy.

Two things about me my husband seemed to have overlooked.

Are you ready to end your fantasy, Mrs. Tucker?

Uh -oh.

Something bad's going to happen, right?

I knew it. I knew it. I can only control the present.

The future is up to you.

Well, I don't seem to have that much to lose, so I'm going to stick with it.

Excuse me. Of course.

Because I don't want to.

Good answer.

Is Daddy still mad at Grandma?

Excuse me, Richard.

I'm Alan Reynolds, and I'd like to talk to you about last night. About your

mother? Get lost, will you?

Listen, I didn't expect this to be easy, but give me a break, will you?

Look, you may not want to hear me out. You may not believe me, but I am not in

the business of corrupting lonesome widows.

What would you call it? Attraction, admiration, appreciation.

for who she is as a woman.

She fell for that line of bull.

That is demeaning to her and not very flattering to you.

And it doesn't say an awful lot for me either.

Frankly, Richard, you can go to hell.

Did you hear him? Loud and clear. We all heard.

apartment's not that big. So we'll move.

I like my apartment and you hate my dog.

We'll get used to each other.

Gary, you know, we've never even spent a whole night together.

I snore.

So do I.

Your hat, madam. You left it on the table yesterday.

Oh, Lawrence, come in. Oh, I don't want to intrude.

Please, intrude.

Mr. Tucker. Lawrence. Would you like a drink, play some cards, watch a little

TV? Perhaps I could just help Mr. Tucker.

Unpacking, are you, sir?

That's right, Lawrence.

Maybe you could hang these pants for me. Yes, sir.

There doesn't seem to be any room.

Oh, that's another thing, Gary.

I'm at... absolute clothes horse.

I buy, buy, buy.

Well, I owe every store in town money.

I'm an absolute clothes junkie.

Do you realize that there are clothes in that closet that still have the price

tag on them?

That's why you always look so wonderful.

Gary, would you listen to me?

Would you please listen to what I've been trying to tell you for the last

hours? Well, you have your hat, he has his pants, and I'll be taking my leave.

I have heard everything you have said. What you were trying to warn me about is

all the terrible things about you, none of which is terrible.

Don't worry so much. Everything's going to be just fine, baby.

Everything's not going to be fine.

And don't call me baby.

Read between the lines, Bozo.

Everything's not going to be fine because I don't want everything to be

I don't understand.

Obviously.

Read my lips.

The reason that you and I have had such a great thing going is because we didn't

have to deal with each other on a daily basis.

All you think about is what you want.

Well, we don't happen to want the same thing.

I don't want a roommate.

And I don't want a husband.

I love my job. I love my apartment. I love my dog.

And I love married men because they're somebody else's problem.

Ellen.

What did I do that was so terrible?

You left your wife.

Married men never leave their wives.

I know Mom and Dad aren't talking to each other.

Mom went to go take her tennis lesson and Dad went off to mope somewhere.

Your father always did that.

Take it out in junk food.

Eat himself into a coma and then upchuck all night.

Yeah, I know.

Your boyfriend told them off and said a lot of nice things about you.

They argued in front of you?

Well, sort of, but it was fun.

Michelle, darling, do you know what all this means? And don't start out

indignantly with, Grandma, I am 12 years old.

Almost 13, but anyway.

Mom always says that a meaningful relationship is for two people who are

enough and who really care about each other.

Because if you don't care about each other, sex doesn't mean anything.

Then you might as well go bowling.

What did your father say?

Well, mostly he lets Mom do the talking about stuff like that.

Michelle, there's one very important thing happening here, and I want you to

aware of it.

What is it, Grandma?

Whatever you do in life, whatever, is going to affect people around you.

And you have to be absolutely sure.

You don't hurt them.

And in some way, even though I didn't mean to, I have hurt your father.

How?

I'm not quite sure.

But I think it had something to do with the fact that I behaved in a way that

disappointed him.

What's the matter?

I sure hope when I'm your age I'm not letting other people push me around.

I thought that was just supposed to be when you were a kid.

I am more than astonished. I'm absolutely appalled that you obviously

idea about the shamelessly flagrant behavior that's running rampant on this

island of yours.

You no doubt are referring to your wayward mother and the infamous Mr.

who are fast becoming the scandal of Fantasy Island.

They certainly are. Cavorting around the way they are?

Cavorting? By whose sense of morality?

Morality? Ha -ha, there you said it. I'll tell you there would have been no

mistake in my mother's mind what morality meant when my father was alive.

can bet. Well, then perhaps she would have been better all around if she had

just jumped into his funeral pyre. That's a low blow, Mr. Roran. But close

the mark, nevertheless.

Now, wait a minute. So you've become the judge of when grandmothers can no

longer think about romance.

I didn't say that. What about your own wife, Mr. Mallory? Would you leave my

wife out of this? How can I?

At what age will you decide to move her into a separate bedroom? At 60?

62?

Perhaps when you put in for social security.

65.

Yes, that seems to be the universally accepted age for some to assume that

is over.

When you make me look at myself like that, I really don't like what I see.

I had a very nice night.

Thank you.

Good night.

Excuse me?

Okay.

I'm handling this badly.

Hmm.

You don't want to invite me in.

It was something I said.

Something I did.

No.

Oh, well, I like guessing games. Let me see.

Look.

It has nothing to do with you, honest.

I just made a mistake.

I thought I could forget my problems by having an affair with you, but I can't.

You see, I really came here with my husband, and just before I met you, I

him out. Now he's off somewhere with his mistress, and now I have to figure out

what I have to do with the rest of my life. So if I went to bed with you, it

really wouldn't be any fun.

I'm preoccupied.

Kathleen, that's too terrible a story to be a lie.

Here.

You need this more than I do.

Good luck.

Thank you.

I know somebody who's going to need this a lot more than me.

Party's over.

And taking the moon away.

Very nice lady. I didn't mean to break up your marriage.

It was his choice.

Anyway, it's decided.

I don't want him.

I'm a professional girlfriend, not a wife.

If it had worked out some other way, I might have been a wife.

But as things are, I'm the mistress, you're the wife.

Was.

It was a wife.

Come in, everyone.

Food, drink, party's on the house.

Wait, wait. What about dinner? I made reservations.

Excuse me.

That's supposed to be my line.

Come in, Alan. Join us.

Would you do the honors?

I suppose you're all wondering why I asked you here.

Mother, really, you need to go on.

All those things that I said to you, I just want to apologize to you for

sticking my nose in.

Thank you, Richard.

And I'm sorry, too, that I didn't come right out and say what was on my mind.

You're a grown woman.

You don't have to account to me for everything that you do.

That's wonderful, Richard.

That's all people who love each other should expect.

And you know I love you all.

All.

Richard. Thank you.

Your mother's a wonderful woman.

I only hope she'll let me live up to it.

If that's what she wants, I do too.

I'm going to move out, get my own place when we get back home.

It's about time.

What are you talking about? You can't do that.

Can't I?

Only if you promise to come over to dinner once a week.

If you want to.

I'll think about it.

Now listen to me, Kathleen.

I don't love him.

I never loved him.

He was just... what all married guys are to me.

Something I can count on that doesn't give me any grief, you know.

No, I don't know.

But I don't love him anymore either.

I used to, a lot.

He's not the same Gary I married.

He's not nice anymore.

Not nice to me.

Nope. He's all yours, honey.

Congratulations.

Well, I don't see why other winners have to take him.

Let's throw him back.

I don't want them. And you don't want them.

Let's throw them back.

Hey, how about this? I knew it would work out once the two of you got to know

one another.

I saw your son and his family off on the early plane, Miss Mallory. They say

they see you at home.

I would have joined them, but I had other plans this morning.

It appears you've had a very successful fantasy.

More than a fantasy, Mr. Rourke. A wonderful new reality.

I'm very grateful to you.

And Alan.

It was my pleasure.

No more so than it was mine, Mr. Rourke. And for that, I thank you, too.

You're very welcome, Mr. Reynolds.

Goodbye.

Excuse me, sir, but you never did tell me what Mr. Reynolds' fantasy was.

Surely you must have guessed, Lawrence.

His fantasy was realized at the same time as Mrs. Mallory.

Smashing, sir.

Simply smashing.

Well, Mr. Stock... Oh, I'm telling you something.

Thank you, Mr. Rourke, for everything. For showing me how to make my own

I realize now that's what you were trying to get me to do all along.

When you deal with a... Terribly sorry. When you deal with a thoroughbred, there

is no need to go to the whip.

A little nudge.

Thank you for using a velvet glove while you were at it.

Thank you.

What?

I hope they have Aspen on the plane.