All language subtitles for fantasy_island_s07e02_big_switch

Good morning, Rock. Good morning,
Horace.

Smiles, everyone.

Smiles.

To Mrs. Walters, huh? Yes. I understood
the gentleman had cancelled the

reservation. Oh, he did, Lawrence.

However, at the last moment, Mrs.
Walters called to say she talked her

into coming after all.

Doesn't look very happy about it, sir.

Well, that's because he feels his wife's
fantasy is an assault on his male

prerogatives. You see, her fantasy is to
have her husband learn what it is to be

a woman.

and have to suffer the arrogance of men.

In that case, he has my sympathy.

If you want my guess, both of them will
need all the sympathy they can get,

Lawrence.

Oh, my.

Well, as they say, sir, there goes the
neighborhood.

You know her, Lawrence?

Certainly not, sir.

But much so, I hate to admit it, I have
had dealings with ladies of easy virtue.

Just how did you become such an expert
on the subject?

I had to dismiss them with shocking
regularity from the bedroom of one of my

former employers.

Oh, I see.

Stark, I'd honestly hope, would not be
required of me under your employ.

Her name is Miss Shelley James, and
she's here for a fantasy, Lawrence.

To receive one or fulfill one?

Her fantasy is to be a normal woman
involved in a normal relationship with a

normal man for the weekend.

Then I pray she gets it right the first
time, sir.

So do I, Lawrence.

For her sake, I sincerely do.

My dear guests, I am Mr. Roth, your
host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

Mr. Rourke, I want to experience true
love. What's the problem?

Do you have any idea how many married
men I've had?

Cream or sugar, miss?

No, thanks.

Like I was saying, people get married
because they're in love.

So how come so many married men come to
me instead of living happily ever after?

In other words, you don't believe such a
thing as true love exists.

You got it.

Then why are you here?

Thank you.

Why are you here, Miss James?

Because being in love is kind of a nice
idea, you know?

I mean, not that I'm apologizing for
what I am.

It's a living, right?

I don't know.

Sometimes when I see housewives pushing
their babies around the market...

Or couples holding hands in the park.

I wonder, what if something wonderful
really

can happen between a man and a woman?

Is this the first time you've ever tried
to find out?

No, I tried the normal routine once.

And? I swore off tricking and signed up
for typing school.

You know, so that I could meet new
people, make some friends, be a regular

of girl.

And I lasted a whole three days.

I don't know.

I don't know if I couldn't cut it or I
couldn't cut me.

But being your basic everyday chick was
definitely a lost cause.

Well, your stay with us won't involve
typing school, James.

But it will involve a young man here on
the island.

who is quite anxious to meet you.

Where did you tell him about me to make
him so anxious?

Oh, no, I assure you, he has no idea
what you do for a living. Oh, no, no,

No, it seems he saw you at a party
several months ago, and for him it was

apparently love at first sight.

You mean, um, he wants to meet me
because I'm me?

Because he found you very attractive.

And thought you were, no doubt, a very
nice person.

He's waiting to meet you right now.

Wait. I can't meet this guy right now. I
mean, the only people I'm used to being

with, guys, are Johns.

I mean, somebody's got to tell me what
to say, how to act, what to do. What to

wear is no small consideration either,
sir.

Yes, a change of wardrobe is called for.

But as for your other concerns...

Just let nature take its course, Miss
James.

You'll do just fine.

You're dragging me to this island for
some dumb fantasy. It's humiliating, Mr.

Rourke. Look at me.

Do I look like some flake who gets his
kicks and lording it over his wife

because she's a woman?

I didn't say you were a flake, George. I
said you were a male chauvinist pig.

Mr. and Mrs. Walters, please.

Please. Now, you've come to Fantasy
Island to get some insight into your

problems, not to keep battling with each
other.

If you would just be content to stay
home and keep house, there would be no

problem. Keeping house is not the
problem, George.

It's you taking me for granted and
treating me like I didn't have a brain

head. That is the problem.

Okay.

Okay.

Bring in your shrink, Mr. Rourke, or
whoever it is who's going to try to make

feel guilty because I have bigger
muscles than her.

Let's just get this thing over with.

A shrink?

Oh, no.

No, no, Mr. Walter, psychiatry will not
be necessary.

I've devised a more practical way in
which you might discern the nature of

women. A more... a more realistic way,
shall we say.

Whatever.

As long as this thing is over by the
weekend, I have a very important

engagement and I'm trying to close the
deal in Montreal, Canada.

I believe a weekend will be quite
sufficient.

Now, you can both return to your
bungalow and wait for me. Your fantasy,

Walters, will start in exactly one hour.

All right?

Mr. Rourke?

Mr. Brad Jacobs?

It's Shelly James.

Hello. Hi.

Well, I believe you have something to
talk about, so if you'll excuse me.

So.

So.

I, uh, saw you at a St.

Patrick's Day bash the company I worked
for gave by the, uh...

By the time I'd made my way across the
hall to introduce myself, you were

leaving with somebody.

You, uh... You still dating him?

No.

Ever been here before?

No, I've been to Hawaii, though.

Oh, yeah? Which island?

Uh, the one that Honolulu's on. I wasn't
paying very much attention.

Uh -oh, you were there on your
honeymoon, right?

No. I was working.

Oh.

So your job takes you to Honolulu.

What do you do?

I'm in retailing.

Retailing? Only a few seconds before the
hour is up, George.

Hurry. You took your sweet time when you
were here.

Now, just because it's my turn, it's
hurry up, George.

Hurry up, George.

Just like a woman, you pluck your
eyebrows, you wash your hair, you shave

legs, you file your nails, you cream
your elbows.

All I want to do is shave and comb my
hair, but now when it's my turn, hurry

George. Hurry up, George.

You know, Laura, there's still time to
call this crazy thing off.

What do you say, huh?

Oh, my.

This Gert must have shrunk at the
cleaners, George.

We could catch the afternoon plane to
Montreal.

See Ferguson about that shopping mall
deal.

Look what you've done.

You and your damn fantasy.

He switched our bodies. This is what
Rourke meant by being realistic.

That better

be you, Rourke.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'll come back later.
Okay, Rourke. Okay.

Have yourself a good laugh and then turn
me into myself again.

Before I punch you into next week.

My, my, such ugly talk. I'm from such a
pretty lady.

Yes, George, you be careful about what I
say.

Okay, okay.

Just don't press your luck, either of
you.

Excuse me.

Does this arrangement disturb you, Mrs.
Walters?

I can understand why you turned George
into me, but why me into him?

Well, it seemed the only way to be fair
to both of you. May I? Oh, certainly,

certainly. Thank you.

You see, whatever your husband hopefully
learns about women will be of little

use unless you also learn something
about his problems in being a man.

But, Mr. Rourke, won't people think that
it's peculiar hearing my voice coming

out of George's mouth?

Now, you see, only Lawrence and I, and
the two of you, of course, will hear you

as you are.

When you are with other people, Mrs.
Walters, you will have your husband's

voice, and you, Mr. Walters, will have
your wife's voice. In other words, the

voice will match the body.

I thought it would avoid confusion.

Who cares about voices? I can't be seen
like this.

I'm ridiculous.

You never, never thought my body was
ridiculous before. I never wore it

I want out.

Oh, easily done. But only if Mrs.
Walters agrees.

It's your fantasy, and terminating it
now that it has begun is entirely up to

you.

Well... In that case...

You take good care of me.

Laura!

No!

Well, don't worry.

I'm not going to beat you or anything
like that.

What kind of a husband do you think I
am?

Wonderful! It sounds like this marriage
is starting off on the right foot.

Mrs. Walters.

Mr.

Walters.

What's wrong now, Lawrence?

Well, really, sir, having a woman about
to whom sexual favors are nothing but a

commodity is an open invitation to
trouble.

Mr. Rourke, I've got to talk to you.
I've got troubles.

The defense read us.

Brad expects me to meet him down at the
lagoon in an hour, and I want you to

tell him I just can't. But why?

Aren't the two of you getting along?

Yes. No.

I mean, the guy, he's just, he's not my
type.

And as far as he's concerned, I'm
history, okay?

What you are is frightened, Miss James.

What do you mean, frightened?

You like him, don't you?

Yeah. Yeah, I like him.

The problem is, it's difficult for you
to like people, isn't it?

No, it never used to be.

Back when I was a kid, I liked
everybody.

And everybody, uh... Like me.

Especially my.

Stepfather.

I guess I.

Stop trusting people.

Around the time my mother went out of
town for the weekend and left the two of

us, my stepfather and me, by ourselves.

That was the first time. You don't have
to go on with James. I understand.

And I can well understand why you're
frightened.

Your love and trust were betrayed once
with extremely painful results.

And now, no doubt, you're afraid that
Mr. Jacobs, of whom you're obviously

growing very fond, will somehow cause
history to repeat itself.

You should be happy.

Happy?

Lawrence is quite right, Miss James.

Under the circumstances, you're being
frightened is a perfectly normal

And as I recall, normal is precisely
what you came here to be.

Yeah, but it isn't going to work.

You see, Brad thinks the reason that I'm
acting so weird around him is because

I'm shy.

Or proper.

Can you believe that?

Are you saying you'd prefer he knew the
truth about you?

Of course not.

He'd be gone in two seconds if he knew
the truth.

But believe it or not, I do pride myself
on being an honest person, Mr. Rourke.

I guess I should tell him everything,
shouldn't I?

Well, you're the only person who can
answer that question, Miss James.

Yeah.

Somehow I thought you might say that.

Well, good luck, Mrs.

Walters. And until you get a hang of
your new physical capabilities, I'll be

close by, just in case.

Don't worry, Mr. Walters. I can handle
it.

Splendid, Mrs. Walters. Splendid.

I'm sorry. I thought this table was...
No, no, no. Sit down. Sit down. Relax.

It's all right. No, I can find another
table. No, really.

Join us. It's okay.

Thank you.

Sure. I was about to get some drinks.
You want one?

No, no.

Great.

I'll go get it.

That's a lovely bathing suit you're
wearing there. Thank you.

Thank you.

truth. I was thinking about buying one
for myself.

Oh, really?

But I lost my nerve.

You know, that's too bad. You would have
looked, um, darling.

Well, I wouldn't have looked like you
look at it.

You know something?

I kind of like your way of coming on.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Don't get me wrong.

Oh, no, it's okay. It's okay.

I was getting kind of bored of Tom
anyway.

He's so, um, immature.

You mean it's this easy to make out?

Yes, we should.

What do you think you're doing?

Doing about what?

You met... What's my girl creep?

I'm not a creep. I'm not messing with
your girl. Sit down. Just get out of

okay?

Now, look.

I'm not what I look like.

Oh,

there, there. Now, Mrs. Walter.

Sorry, Mr. Rourke.

If that young ruffian meant you any
harm, sir, madam, I shall call the

constabulary. Oh, no, no. Don't, don't.

He just thought that I would make it
past at his girl, that's all.

Oh, it was awful, Mr. Rourke. Oh, come
now, Mrs.

Walters. Getting a taste of the
temptations that can cause a man to

also one of our objectives, wasn't it?

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

I'm talking a joke about the bear and
the rabbit. No, stop it, stop it. No, no

more jokes. I mean it, I mean it.

I haven't laughed this hard in years.

How come?

I don't know. I just haven't.

Does that mean you're having a good
time?

Yes. It means I'm having a great time.

Tell you how special you are to me,
shall we?

First, it was just the way you looked.

But now... That you're so quiet.

That you, um... You stand out.

Like something whispered instead of
shouted.

I have something I have to tell you.

It can wait.

Shelly, would you rather say goodnight
to me now or

good morning to me later?

Goodnight to you now, okay?

Okay.

I really like you.

You know that, don't you?

Good night.

Brad?

I like you a lot, too.

Shouldn't have happened.

Why not?

I shouldn't have let it happen.

I guess I did kind of force the issue,
didn't I?

No.

Tell you what.

Why don't I just do what I should have
done in the first place, okay?

You didn't do anything wrong.

It's me.

I have something I have to tell you.

Remember when I told you I was in
retailing?

Yeah.

Well, what I retail is me.

I'm a hooker.

I've been doing it since I was 16.

Brad, I was working that party when you
first saw me.

I came to the island because I... I
wanted to find out what it felt like

not to be what I am.

Now I know.

Will you see this?

And they said it couldn't be done.

Well, woman of little faith.

What is it?

You like cheese souffle? I made you a
cheese souffle.

Did you have to cremate it?

So that's what I get for trying, huh?

Sarcasm? No, no, no. I'm sorry, George.
I'm sorry.

That just happens to be a line I stole
from you. That's what this whole thing's

all about, remember?

Sure.

And I also remember your reaction to it,
huh?

Like this?

George!

I got a headache.

Miss James, are you all right?

I've never felt better in my life.

I told him, Mr. Rourke. I told him
everything.

About what you wear?

He knows, and it doesn't matter. He's
still in there asleep.

He didn't walk out.

Can you believe it?

Well, I'm very happy for you. I'm so
excited I can't sleep. I mean, all I can

think about is how terrific today is
going to be.

Miss James... I want to do something
really special.

Do you think I should, I don't know,
bring him breakfast like they did in the

movies? Do you think he'd like that?

Oh, I'm sure he would.

You know, this is the first time I can
remember that I've looked forward to the

day.

Miss James, there's an old saying that
goes, sorrow is born in the

hasty heart.

When you're experiencing something for
the first time, especially love,

It's best to take it slowly.

She who hesitates is lost, Mr. Rourke.

See you later.

Oh, I was going to surprise you with
breakfast in bed.

We'll have coffee, Pop.

I, uh... I can't. I can't.

Thank you.

Oh, no.

What is it?

Judas Priest, Laura. I can't let him see
me looking like this. Go hide my body

somewhere. Get out of here.

Who is he?

Dick Conway Ferguson, my Montreal
shopping mall deal. That's who.

Oh, now, for God's sake, be careful what
you say.

George?

Nice to see you, George.

Mr. Roth told me you'd be here. I guess
you're a little surprised to, uh...

To see me.

Oh, you must be Laura.

Well, well, well.

You know, George has talked a lot about
you.

And I'm nearly enough.

Yeah, yeah, she is a doll, isn't she?
I'm sorry to break in on your vacation

like this, but business is business,
right, George?

You see, we're working on the shopping
mall deal together, and I've got some

details that I've got to straighten out
before...

I finalized your husband's contract.

I'm going to make George a rich man.

You don't mind me making your husband a
rich man.

Do you, Laura?

No, I don't mind at all, Mr. Ferguson.

Call me Conway.

Conway.

Yes.

This is wonderful.

Pour him a scotch, Lawrence.

Let's have a toast.

To fantasy.

Male and female.

Apparently, sir, she has experienced
some kind of a setback.

No, no. No.

I prefer to think of it as a chance to
go on to bigger and better

things.

Mr. Jacobs couldn't accept what you were
after all, huh?

Yeah.

And you should have seen him run, too.

And after I'd given him the best freebie
of his life.

I don't know. The way I figure it, if
I'm going to start being treated like a

whore, I might just start being one.

What about you, Rourke?

Hmm? What are you doing for the next
half hour, huh?

Lawrence, I want to speak to Miss James
alone.

Yes, sir.

You won't regret it.

You won't stop the pain by doing this.

What pain?

Come on.

Pain and pleasure are part of my act.
You think I'm feeling pain?

Yes, I think you felt pain when your
stepfather betrayed your trust years

and I think you feel that very same pain
now.

Okay.

So I met a guy I like for the first time
in my life. And he dumped me. And it

hurts. What am I supposed to do? Thank
you?

Learn from it, Miss James.

Yeah? Yeah.

Well, I don't got the time.

The girls on the street I compete with
are getting younger by the day.

And pretty soon,

They're going to push me out of the
running altogether.

And then you know what happens?

You know what happens to hookers who are
past their prime?

They end up dying in a back alley.

And nobody gives a damn.

But you're no longer what you were, Miss
James.

You've revealed, most importantly to
yourself, that you are a feeling.

Loving, normal human being.

Which means you've changed your future.

Don't you see?

Yeah.

But I can't change my past.

I'm stuck with it.

Just like I'm stuck with me.

And you know what?

I hate me.

Damn.

Well, after a workout like that, you
must feel very good indeed, Mr. Jacobs.

I still feel like the lousy creep I am.

Oh?

Shelly trusted me enough to tell me the
truth.

And what did I do?

I threw her back in her face and ran. I
couldn't handle it.

Well, after all, she is a whore.

What kind of man could handle that?

Damn you, Mr. Rourke.

Answer me, Mr. Jacobs.

A man with guts enough to love her,
really love her, that's who can handle

Who'd be willing to say that the only
thing that's important is the way they

feel about each other and to hell with
what everybody else thinks.

And that man isn't you, huh?

I wish to God it was.

I live in the real world, Mr. Rourke.

I just can't ignore what other people
would think.

Nor can you ignore the fact that making
decisions of the heart based on what

other people think is never quite
satisfactory, is it, Mr. Jacobs?

Well, I'm sure I've taken too much of
your time already, so, uh, good day,

One thing I want to know, Laura, just
how many times have you been hit on by

guys like that grueling Ledge Ferguson
without telling me?

Why, George, I thought you weren't the
jealous type.

Laura, I've got a call for George
Walters. I'll take it. Right here.

I'm George Walters. I'll take it.

Way to go, George.

Hello? Oh, hello, Cartway.

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

Yeah, yeah, I understand.

Well, I'll just wait here until he
comes.

All right.

What does he want?

My body.

You mean he goes both ways?

Oh, no, no, no.

My body.

The one that you're in.

He wants my body to go to his bungalow
and help him make hors d 'oeuvres.

And he wants your body to stay here and
wait for this man.

Until he delivers the contracts for the
mall.

It's a setup.

He figures I can't chance ticking him
off until the contract's signed.

Wait. George, you're not going to go by
yourself, are you?

Why not?

It's another lesson to learn.

And to be chased around the department
by a sex -praised maniac.

Please, George.

The contract isn't worth it.

You call off the fantasy and I'll tell
Ferguson what he can do with this deal.

There's no other way.

Still making conditions on your terms,
aren't you?

You haven't learned anything.

It's your body.

Mr. Rourke.

Oh, Mr.

Rourke.

Mrs.

Walter. Oh, Mr. Rourke, you're
absolutely right.

I've been playing with fire, and I want
to pour a bucket of water on it.

Does this mean you wish to end your
fantasy?

Yes, yes, yes.

Mr. Roark, I've only been looking at
myself through my own point of view.

Oh, that's very good, Mrs. Walters.

Once you're able to accept the fact that
men must also deal with compromise and

humiliation, then you're well on your
way to making your marriage a true

partnership.

Oh, I know that. I know that now, Mr.
Roark.

And I think we should restart our
partnership by...

Getting George and me back to who we
really, really are.

If that is your wish, Mrs. Walters, then
it's done.

What the hell are... I'm going to tell
me I'm George again.

I... I am George again. Listen to me.

Listen to me.

I'm myself again!

Indeed you are, Mr. Walters. Your
personality is back in the body it

occupies. And so at this very moment,
it's Mrs. Walters.

The fantasy is over!

But that means that Laura is trapped in
that bungalow with

the animal.

I understand you're going hard to get.

This is ridiculous.

You see, it's all over. You don't
understand.

You don't understand.

Something has happened, and I am me
again. Laura, my pills. Yes, I wouldn't

it any other way. Mr. Ferguson, cut it
out.

Oh, George.

Oh, George.

There was a burglar that came in here.

He was a giant of a man, and he
assaulted Laura.

Right, Laura?

Oh. You see, he made it, and I was
helping you to the couch.

Here.

George. George.

We're ourselves again.

Promise me something, Laura.

Next time you get another idea like
this, don't.

I promise you one thing. If I do, you'll
be the first to know.

Just a minute.

Oh, I thought you were the driver.

Shelly, wait a minute. No, I'm going to
miss my plane. I have to talk to you.

We talked this morning.

I want to talk some more.

About what?

Brad. No.

What I've been is what I am.

A hooker.

Do you really think that my past is
going to change just because you want it

Do you think you're going to be able to
walk into a restaurant with me and not

wonder who knows?

I wonder why a waiter has a silly grin
on his face.

You think you're going to be able to
handle that, huh?

Do you, Brad?

Shelly, I wish I could.

Just get out of here. I don't want to
talk about it. Just leave.

I wanted to say I love you so bad it
hurt.

I still want to say it.

The only reason I won't is because you
won't believe me.

Shelley, just because I can't handle
your past

doesn't mean some other guy can't handle
it.

I promise you, someday you're going to
meet somebody who couldn't care less

about what you were.

He's going to love you for what you've
become.

And you want to know something else?

What? Letting you walk out.

It's something I think I'm going to
regret for the rest of my life.

You're worth caring about, Shelly.

Go ahead and forget about everything
else that happened this weekend, but

please, don't ever forget that.

You... You have a handkerchief.

I thought women had a decimate. He's in
their purse.

Women, yeah.

Hookers? No.

Hookers aren't supposed to cry.

Didn't you know that?

you for everything.

Especially Laura's fantasy.

Being a woman has made a new man of me.

And you, Mrs. Walters, vice versa?

Vice versa, Mr.

Roy. I may not understand the male, but
I can certainly sympathize with him.

Thank you so very much. It's highly
welcome, Mrs. Walters.

Very welcome.

Miss James, you look wonderful.

I'll take that as a compliment.

I'll wait to assume, then, that you have
forsaken your erstwhile profession.

For now, I can't promise anything.

I did try it once before, you know.

But you knew no other life then, Miss
James.

Now that you've had a taste of something
different, you're free to make a

choice. And I, for one, I'm confident
you'll make the right one.

Oh what the hell.