All language subtitles for fantasy_island_s06e07_roller_derby_doll

Good morning, Bob. Good morning, the
two.

Smiles, everyone.

Smiles.

Oh, I bet he's a sport man.

Quite correct, Atul.

His name is Mr. Norman Hackett. He works
for a sporting goods store in Seattle,

Washington. Mr. Hackett is a big sports
fan and is about to fulfill his fantasy

of becoming owner and manager of a
professional sports club.

That's a pretty tough racket.

Does he have any experiences?

Oh, he knows all about sports and
statistics and talks a good game, but

talking is behind him, and he will find
that he must prove himself on the field

of battle.

Who are they, Buck?

That is Miss Suzanne Quinn.

She is from Texarkana, Arkansas.

The gentleman behind her is Mr. Roy
Bradford from Detroit, Michigan.

And that is Mr. Eldon Gimble from
Fresno, California.

They are all total strangers, by the
way. You mean each of them has a

Actually, Tattoo, none of them has a
fantasy.

None of them has a fantasy?

The three of them were selected at
random and are here to compete in a

that will allow one of them, and only
one, to leave Fantasy Island with one

million dollars.

My dear guest, I am Mr. Rourke, your
host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

Mr. Rourke. Ah, Mr. Hackett.

Oh, how about the weather out there?
What a great day for a ball game.

You know, we owners, we love sunny
weather. It brings out the fans.

Yes, I suppose so. But then again, there
are those sports played indoors as

well.

Oh?

Does this mean that I get a basketball
team?

Well... Mr. Rourke, I'll take anything.
I love all sports.

Sports are my life.

Don't keep me in suspense. What is it?

Basketball? Hockey? What?

You know, Mr. Hackett, it's one thing to
watch a sporting event

on television from your easy chair, but
quite another to be an owner -manager.

I know that, Mr. Rourke.

The truth is, I've been watching life
and living it from my easy chair.

And a counselor once told me that the
reason I never get really involved with

anything is because I have a fear of
losing.

Oh, Mr. Hackett, you'd only be a loser
if you think you're a loser.

You're absolutely right, Mr. Rourke.

I'm going to get right in the middle of
things, right where the action is.

The action will be right here on Fantasy
Island, Mr. Hackett.

The truth.

Oh, what's this?

You'll start with that. Will you put it
around your neck, please?

That's it, thank you.

Now. Just put it to your lips and blow
as hard as you can.

Yeah, Mr. Rourke told me. You're our new
manager.

Terrific. Look at this girl, Sandy.

This is our new big shop manager.

He's going to save us.

No, no, no, no. I'm not your new
manager.

Boy, am I in the wrong place.

Do any of you girls know how I can find
the Pittsburgh Steelers training camp?

The Pittsburgh Steelers already have a
manager.

You're just too afraid to admit that
you're our manager.

You're ashamed to manage a team of
losers, aren't you?

You're only losers if you think you're
losers, young lady.

You see, I was brought here to take over
a professional sporting team, not...

Not a what, huh? Go ahead and say it.

Girls' roller derby team, yeah?

Yeah. What's wrong with roller derby?
What are you, some kind of snob or

something?

Hey, we were doing fine without you.

Who needs you anyway?

Good. What's your record?

We've won three games already.

Out of how many?

26? We lost a lot of close ones.

You won three out of 26?

Excuse me, I, uh... I gotta talk to
somebody very, very

fast. Excuse me?

You mean this guy flew us all

the way out here so one of us could win
a million dollars and we don't even get

to meet him?

lead us to the question we've all been
wanting to ask.

What do we have to do to win?

Ah. The person who performs the most
noble, unselfish act during his or her

on Fantasy Island will win. You mean,
whoever does the best good deed

wins a million bucks?

Correct. Your benefactor will be
watching you very closely for the next

days, and he will make his decision
according to what he observes.

Why? What's in it for him?

Yes, boss. What's in it for him?

I'm afraid I can't discuss his
motivations.

And since any personal contact with him
could very well give one of you a

decided advantage, he insists you make
no attempt to learn his identity.

But I assure you his offer is legitimate
and every bit as simple as it sounds.

I don't know. It sounds very strange to
me. If you want to get out, I know

someone who would like to take your
place.

Tatum, please don't.

It may be strange, but it sure as heck
beats serving pitchers at the Texarkana

Brew and Chew all weekend.

Good. Would you excuse, please?

Oh, uh, for the rest of the weekend, you
may travel anywhere on the island you

wish, though your benefactor prefers
that you remain together, and he's

care of any and all your bills.

Is that right?

Well, then I vote that we kick this
thing off at the nearest chow house. I

And may the best man, I'm terribly
sorry, may the best person win. Will you

excuse us?

Mr.

Rock!

Thank you, girls. Thank you.

Something the matter, Mr. Hackett? Boy,
did you make a mistake.

Mistake? It's about that team you gave
me for my fantasy.

The Brownsville Blasters?

Yeah. Well, that is the name of your
team, Mr. Hackett.

Yeah, well, they are blasters, all
right. Yes.

And they've had a pretty rough time of
it.

Nobody seems to care for them.

Not the past owners, certainly not the
fans.

They don't even seem to care for
themselves.

All in all, they are not a very
disciplined team.

The Dirty Dozen is more disciplined than
they were.

The blasters are yours, Mr. Hackett.
But, of course, you do have a choice.

can either accept them or stop your
fantasy and return home on the next

Well, I'm going to have to think about
that. Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm afraid

there's no time for that. Tomorrow night
they play the champion Los Angeles

Thunderbirds in a televised exhibition
game. Now, if they don't win, the league

has voted to take away the franchise.

That, of course, means the end of the
team.

Well, what can I do about that? Their
record is 3 -23.

I can't turn that around overnight.

Mr. Hackett.

You came here to own and manage a
professional sports club, and that is a

professional club. Now, I would suggest
that you display a little

professionalism yourself. Hey, Mr. Owner
-Manager.

There's some guy at the arena who wants
to talk to you about your ideas on

promotion.

Billboards, banners, stuff like that.

Uh, yeah, yeah.

Tell him, uh... Tell him nothing, huh?

Zip ideas, just like all the others.

I bet you end up bailing out just like
they did.

I can see it coming.

It's not a very nice thing to say about
somebody you hardly even know.

Yeah? The last guy owned us for a week.

I'll give you less than that.

Apparently, she thinks you're the loser,
Mr. Hackett.

Yeah, well, I'm going to show you, Mr.
Ork.

I'm going to take the blasters.

Good for you, Miss Haggard.

It seems to me that we could all win
that money.

What do you mean?

I mean, we could all agree that no
matter who wins the million dollars,

that we could split three ways.

Um, Hal, I don't think whoever's running
this show would take kindly to that

idea. All right, you little jerk.

I'm tired of you slopping those drinks
all over me.

Hey, why don't you pick on someone your
own side?

Eldon. You stay out of this, pal.

What if I don't want to?

Eldon. All right.

Let's play it your way.

Okay,

act it out.

If that wasn't the most lame -brained
thing I've ever seen anyone do in my

I would call it noble.

Noble?

Noble and... and selfish.

Not why you did it.

Haven't you noticed what's parked over
there?

I bet that there rich mobile belongs to
the benefactor. I did say he'd be

watching you closely.

I get that makes the score...

One to zero to zero.

That's what I ordered and that's what I
want.

Showgirl gown, yeah.

I'm going to give the Bells a new look
and a new pride themselves.

Yeah, and I changed the name of the
team. It's now the Brownsville Bells.

need 5 ,000 I love the Bells.

I love the Bells.

Button, you got it.

Wow, you're sure really busy.

Determination.

Determination is the key to good
leadership.

Determination, knowing how to promote a
good team.

A little showmanship doesn't hurt
either.

You still don't look too happy.

You're right.

I'm going to have to talk to them, whip
them into shape, show them who's boss.

You're tough with them.

Sometimes it's better to be gentle.

Do you think Vince Lombardi was gentle
with his players?

You let me handle it my way, all right,
tattoo?

Thank you anyway.

Girls!

Ladies! What kind of blocking do you
call that?

I mean, you are supposed to let that
jammer through!

And we're going to do it right, even if
it takes all night.

And that means everybody.

Have you got it?

Got it.

Let's join them.

Are you all right?

Hey, Elder, remember what you said about
splitting the money?

Hey.

Oh, yeah, I remember what I said.

But I, uh... Take back that offer.

No, no, no.

Stop it. Stop.

Somebody stop him.

Oh, no.

Hey, stop. Come back here.

Mr. Bradford. Are you all right? I'm
sure.

Are you sure?

Thank you. Well, it's no big deal.

Back home chasing muggers gets to be
second nature.

Thank you so much.

Are you okay?

I'm sure.

You know, you've done the island a great
service, Mr. Bradford.

Hey, I did me a good deed. How do you
like that? The real question is, is how

did he like that?

He sure would like to know who he is.

Does he live here on the island, Mr.
Roark?

The benefactor has a home here, yes. In
fact, I'm going there for dinner this

evening. So, if you'll excuse us.

Good evening,

Mr. Roark. Good evening.

How do you like the way things are
progressing so far?

In all the years I've known you, I had
no idea you were such a fine actor, Mr.

Gimbel.

Thank you, Mr.

Roque. I'm full of surprises.

Indeed. Oh, and I must also compliment
you, Philip, on the lovely performance

you gave this afternoon.

Thank you, sir.

Shall we eat?

Well, the scene was a nice touch, don't
you think?

Very. And the staging of the fight
between me and my dear friend Philip

Excellent. They really have no idea that
they're just pawns in a bet between me

and you?

The way you are manipulating them is
precisely what bothers me.

I'm afraid someone's going to get hurt.

Well, that's the difference between us.

See, you refuse to admit that when
there's money on the line that people

to the greedy...

selfish animal they truly are.

I refuse to believe that, yes.

Well, we're going to find that out,
aren't we?

Once and for all, if Susie and Roy
continue to behave

admirably, as you say, then I'll have
been wrong and I'll lose our bet.

But if, no, when...

they show humanity's true dismal colors
and do something underhanded tomorrow,

then I'll have been right. And you know
what that means, don't you?

I must announce publicly that people are
basically corruptible after all.

Either way, I'll have to give one of
those two a million dollars.

But seeing you eat crow will be worth
it.

I'll set the showers.

Mr. Hackett?

Hi, Mr. Rourke.

Who? Iva.

We just left the girls.

Oh? Oh, they're really set for the big
game tonight.

Uh, everything is in order.

Not quite everything, Mr. Hackett.

There's a problem.

This check...

You gave me for your fantasy?

Bounced. Bounced?

Bounced.

Well, that's impossible.

Mr.

Hackett, do you know a Mr. Charles
Delco?

Of course, Charlie Delco. Charlie Delco
is not only my best friend, but he also

happens to be my accountant. He takes
care of all my money.

Not that I have a lot, but little I
have, he looks after.

It seems your accountant has closed your
account.

And when last seen was taking a plane
with a Miss Laverne bludget. You mean

skipped off with everything?

I'm sorry, Mr. Hackett, but your fantasy
is no longer a fantasy. It's now become

very real. As real as all those bills
you managed to pile up. Oh, I hope you

haven't written personal checks for
them.

Well, of course I did.

I thought it was part of the fantasy.

Oh, I am so sorry.

You understand my position, of course.

I mean, since the fee for your fantasy
was never paid, I cannot be responsible,

as I normally would, for actions taken
in the course of it.

Rourke, I spent thousands.

People go to jail for writing real
rubber checks.

Yes. Yes, that is true. I suppose prison
is a possibility to be considered.

Oh, yes.

And those girls are counting on me. I'm
not going to let those girls down.

But I don't want to go to jail either.

What am I going to do?

Something occurs to me.

There is a gentleman here, Mr. T .J.

Cunningham, who was interested in buying
the team a couple of weeks ago,

perhaps.

Perhaps he still is.

I hope he doesn't know the Bells'
record.

As I recall, Mr. Cunningham insisted
upon only one condition, a winning team.

So if the Bells do win,

that could be a way for you to fulfill
your fantasy without cost, and it would

mean staying out of jail.

You're right, Rourke.

All right, he wants a winning team, huh?

All right, you just make sure that T .J.

Cunningham is at that game tonight,
because I am going to turn the bells

the most exciting team that that man has
ever seen.

Tina,

she's selling.

Yes, sir.

Real pretty kids.

You always been a waitress?

Mm -hmm.

Was saving to go to cooking school for a
while.

Then my daddy got real sick and had to
quit his job, so all the extra money

to my folks.

Sure wouldn't mind being in that
winner's circle tonight.

I wouldn't either.

Hey, look at there.

Something's burning.

I don't believe this will be happening.

Is anybody in there? I don't know.

Oh, no.

Murphy.

Oh, no. Stay here, sir.

You don't understand.

Murphy's still inside.

Somebody's been there? Holy moly. Oh,
Susan, come back here.

Mike,

where are your parents?

Get in there, Mr. Rourke. So, Susie.

Susie.

Oh, I'm fine with this cute little old
thing.

Murphy!

Murphy, the dog?

Miss Quinn, that was a very foolish
thing to do.

I know.

Sometimes my brain doesn't work as fast
as the rest of me.

Well, I'll bet as far as our benefactor
is concerned, you just did something

that was noble and unselfish.

You think so, Mr. Roy?

I would say so, yes.

Well, I guess that makes that all even.

Well, I wouldn't say that.

What do you mean?

Well, getting beat up by a bully is one
thing, but it doesn't compare to

catching a criminal or risking your
life.

I mean, if I were the benefactor...

I'd have to choose between the two of
you.

Wouldn't you, Mr. Rock?

Look, girls, we've only been together
just a short time, and so we really

haven't had a chance to talk to each
other. But I do have one philosophy in

life, and that is nobody ever remembered
anyone who came in.

Second. We do.

We almost always do.

I mean, lately, losing seems to be what
we do best.

You're going to have to stop using the
word loser. That is something in the

past. You have to think about the
future.

Remember the words of the immortal
Satchel Paige.

Don't look back.

Something might be gaining on you.

What does that have to do with anything?

I am so glad that you asked that
question, young lady.

Because I'm going to tell you what's
gaining on you.

What's gaining on you is defeatism.

How can you win if you come out here
thinking that you are going to fall flat

your faces?

Well, let me tell you, I am going to do
everything that I can to make the Bells

winners.

And I am sure that I am going to get
your full support.

Let's get to work here. Let's try it
again.

Not that we don't want to believe in
you.

It's just that we've been burned too
many times.

Sandy, I think I should at least be
given a chance.

Something else.

Maybe you are different.

Maybe you can make winners out of it.

I can.

I mean, we were a really good team.

A really good team.

Until our morale started falling apart.

Then that's what we're going to work on.

All right?

Okay.

Okay.

How'd I do, Tattoo?

Pretty good, but what happened if they
found out that you didn't think of

selling the thing?

Well, I wouldn't blame them if they
wanted to kill me.

What else can I do?

I want to spend the next ten years
cracking rocks.

Hi,

Tattoo. Hi, Mr. Bonner.

Mind if I sit down?

Please do.

Oh, hot fudge sundae, huh?

I'd better dig in. I know how fast they
melt.

Oh, hey, don't mind me. This contest got
me so wired, I can't eat.

A real killer is not knowing who the
benefactor is.

I suppose you know, do you, Tattoo?

Well, well, well, looky who's here.

I thought you was going back to your
bungalow for a nap.

No, I just came by to say hi to Tattoo,
that's all.

Trying to wrangle the name of the
benefactor out of him is what you was

Well, what if I was? You wouldn't even
be here if you weren't trying to do

exactly the same thing.

I'm here because I figured you was doing
something sneaky, and I was right.

You're caught following me around,
sneaky.

Not as sneaky as getting the name of the
benefactor so as you can go buttering

him up. Maybe I just wanted to ask him
what pile of corn pone he pulled your

name from.

If I didn't think we was being washed
right now, I'd knock you clean on your

rear end.

People, people, can you settle this
somewhere else?

I'd better not catch you pulling
anything like this again.

Yeah, well, just don't go playing
bloodhound and you won't.

Leave it up to Norman to come up with
this crazy idea of us wearing showgirl

gown. Boy, he's something special.

It's me, girls.

Ah, you look great.

Hi,

girls. Listen up.

I don't have to tell you what this night
means.

It is us against them.

It's good against evil.

It's right and might, which is us,
against wrong and strong, which is them.

it's win, it's win, it's win, it's win.

Like the famous coach once said, we are
going to rock this arena until it

shakes.

All right, so we go out there and we
start skating. And that rink, I want you

girls to hold your heads up high and let
that big crowd out there.

Know what we are made of.

Go,

go. Get the ball.

Get the needle.

And come back with a victory.

You know, Norman, in a lot of ways,
you're the strongest man I've ever met.

Well, actually, I did pump a little iron
once.

I don't mean strong that way. I mean
you're the first manager who hasn't

up on us.

Who hasn't thought of us as a bunch of
losers.

So tonight, Norman, we're going out
there and we're going to win for you.

For sticking by us.

And because we love you.

Especially me.

Well, I got a lot of help. I mean, I
couldn't have done it without the help.

You say you love me?

I think so.

I know so.

Sandy, there's something I've got to
tell you.

I've got a problem.

A problem?

I'm sure it's nothing you can't handle.

What's wrong?

Sandy, I've got to... All right.

This is the wrong time to tell you this,
because there's an important game to be

played out there. And me, as your coach
and your manager... I am ordering you to

go out there and win that game.

Oh, Norman.

I love it best when you talk to me that
way.

Memorizing your speech, Mr. Rourke.

Something wrong?

Susie just arranged for her main
competitor to receive a telegram this

Care to read it?

You see?

You dangle money in front of somebody,
anybody, and whatever mask of decency

they've been wearing, it sloughs off
like snakeskin.

For a man who believes he just won a
bet, you don't sound very pleased, Mr.

Gimbel. Maybe I'm not.

Maybe I was hoping deep down inside that
human beings are really the noble

creatures you said they were.

But they're not.

Are they, Mr. Rock?

Ladies and gentlemen, we are watching a
terrific game tonight.

Get rid of that camera!

But we're going to come out smoking in
the second half.

That's getting them, Norman.

The Bells are going to pull this one
out.

You just wait and see.

Aren't you the guy who tried to buy the
team a couple of months ago?

I'll bet you're surprised to see me
back.

Disgusted is more like it.

It might interest you to know that after
tonight's game, I'm going to be your

new owner.

That is, if you win.

It might interest you to know that we
already have a new owner. His name is

Norman Hackett. Yes, I met with Mr.
Hackett this afternoon.

We came to an understanding about a
selling price.

Know why I changed my mind about buying
the team?

Because there's something different
about you.

Now you have class.

Yeah, class, mister.

Listen, I don't know about you, but no
matter how things turn out,

I'll just be glad when this whole
thing's over.

I'm not real proud of the way I acted
today.

I know the feeling.

Good evening. This telegram just arrived
for you, Mr. Bradford.

Well, what does it say?

I'm not laid off anymore. My wife says
they want me back at work tomorrow.

Oh, I have to leave right away.

Well, if you hurry, you can still catch
the 9 o 'clock flight.

What about the contest?

If I leave right now, am I still in the
running?

Technically, I'm afraid the contest
isn't over until the winner is

Well, if I don't show up to claim my
job, they'll give it to somebody else.

Oh, the hell with it.

Listen, one of you guys can win the
million dollars. There's no way I'm

gamble away a sure thing like this.

Goodbye, Mr. Rourke, and tell the
benefactor thanks anyway.

It's you and me, Susie.

Will you excuse me?

Yes? Well, it looks like Susie won the
contest.

But I win the bet, right, Mr. Rourke?

Right, sir.

Why don't you make the announcement of
the winner, and I'll go get a cashier's

check, and I'll meet you back at your
office outside.

And then after, I'll present Susie with
the prize money.

And then you can make your little speech
about human nature.

Mr. Rock.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your
attention?

Here is the announcement we've all been
waiting for. It has been decided that

the person who has performed the most
noble, unselfish act, the winner of one

million dollars... No!

No, Mr. Roark!

Please.

Please, Mr. Roark.

Mr. Roark, I can't go through with it.

I'm sorry, I don't understand.

Just stop Roy from getting on that
plane.

But his job.

There ain't no job.

Please, you've got to stop him.

Very well, Miss Quinn.

If you're sure that's what you want.

I sure hope it is, Mr. Roark.

Maybe he's got a good reason for selling
us.

I think we should give Norman a chance
to explain.

I think you fell for that guy. That's
what I think.

Me! Oh, you girls were great. You were
terrific. The first half was terrific.

What's up, LeBron?

There's a guy out there who says he's
going to buy the team if we win.

Is that right?

No, no, no, no, no.

Well...

Yes, yes.

Well, you can forget it. Because we're
not going out for the second half.

All right, all right, you got me.

That's a good joke. It's very, very
funny.

No joke, Norman.

What's the matter? Can't you girls wait
until after the game? Then you can

listen to my reason.

The game is over now.

You lied to me.

You lied to all of us.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a
minute, please.

Just give me one minute. Yes, yes.

I admit I lied. I had to.

You see, this all started off as a
fantasy to me.

And then I ran into some financial
misunderstandings. But I just want to

you kids that you kids are good.

I mean, you kids are real, real good.

This afternoon in practice.

Tonight in the first half of that game,
you girls skated like pros. You skated

like winners.

I mean, you looked good, you felt good,
and above all, you knew that you were

good. The big crowd out there who loves
you kids, believes in you, and they want

to see you.

So if you're going to quit, you quit on
me.

But don't you dare quit on yourselves.

Miss Quinn, may I interview the
gentleman who sponsored this contest,

Gimble?

Mr. Gimble, there's something I've got
to confess.

Gimble?

Eldon?

Eldon? I know, it's a little confusing,
but nonetheless, here is your check

for one million dollars.

Roy, I was told to come back. What's
going on? Roy, meet the benefactor.

If you gotta give that money to
somebody, give it to Roy. You got no job

home. I sent that telegram to get you
out of the contest.

So why are you refusing this check?

Because I'm ashamed of myself.

That's why.

You put her up to it, didn't you?

It's a trick to make me think I lost our
bet.

Bet? What bet?

That people are all alike.

That when it comes to money, they'll
stop at nothing to get it.

So you mean Susie and I were just guinea
pigs, and this whole thing is nothing

but an experiment?

Here's a clue to what you can do with
your experiment, pal, and your million

bucks!

You know what your trouble is, you slimy
little toad? You don't think all people

are alike, you just think they're all
like you!

Ow! Oh!

Oh!

Are you all right, Mr. Gimble?

Never better, Mr.

Raw.

Come on.

The both of you, come out with me.

Please, Mr. Rourke.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Mr. Rourke was supposed to be making
this speech, not I. He was supposed to

stand here and confirm that human beings
are, by nature, greedy and defeatful.

Well, these two people here have proved
me wrong.

And in return for making me see that
there is hope for the human race after

I'm giving each one of these people a
million dollars.

And my deepest thanks.

What?

God bless you.

Thank you.

Please do.

Hearing you say I'm sorry is what I was
waiting for.

I was hoping to say that on the dance
floor.

Is it a time for the second half to
begin, Mr. Hackett?

There's not going to be any second half.

Oh? Why not?

I gave it my best shot, Mr. Rourke. I
tried.

But those girls are not coming out of
that dressing room.

It's all my fault.

I just didn't have the faith in them.

I was the one that sold out.

why we won. Okay, kids?

Go take your bubble baths.
Congratulations again, kids.

All the way, Lally. Congratulations, Mr.
Hackett. Congratulations.

Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Roark.

Well, it looks like I'm going to buy a
winner after all, Mr. Roark, but that's

the name of the game.

I have a feeling that the team won't be
for sale after tonight, Mr. Connick. It

seems that the accountant who absconded
with Mr. Hackett's money has been

located.

You mean they found Charlie and Laverne?

That's right.

Which means you are no longer insolvent,
Mr. Hackett. You can pay all your

bills.

And I believe that's the name of the
game, Mr. Cunningham.

Thank you.

Well, in spite of everything that you
both enjoy yourselves... I can't

Me neither.

Mr. Roark, I want to thank you for
everything.

Yes, Mr. Bradley, my pleasure.

Thank you, Mr. Roark. You're welcome,
Miss Quinn. Bye, tattoo.

You coming, Eldon? In a moment.

Thank you. Yes, Mr. Gimbel.

You're leaving too?

I thought I'd see what Arkansas was like
this time of the year.

She's really something, isn't she?

You might say she is one in a million.

Well, Mr. Hackett?

Are you satisfied with the outcome of
your fancy?

Satisfied? This has far exceeded my
wildest dreams.

Then I'm delighted.

Thank you, Mr. Roark. That, too.

Good night. Thanks for everything.