Original subtitles

Bye -bye.

Bye -bye.

Good morning, boss. Good morning, Tattoo.

Good morning, Mr.

Rottertooth. What are you off to in such a hurry?

to arrange flowers for two weddings, make up menus for three garden parties,

escort a retirement home tour and a nature walk.

Bye. Goodbye.

Smiles, everyone. Smiles.

Wow. Who is the young duchess, boss?

Her name is Mrs. Dorothy Nicholson. She owns a successful chain of newspapers

and magazines in the Middle West.

She built a news empire entirely on her own through hard work, dedication, and a

drive for perfection.

But she has paid the price in her personal life.

What price, boss?

Loneliness. An emptiness of the heart.

That is why her fantasy is to find that perfect husband.

A goal which in itself may lead her down a most dangerous pathway.

He is a bookkeeper, right, boss?

Dr. Hal Workman is a very famous seismologist from Pasadena, California.

What is fantasy?

Do you never get shook up?

Dr.

Worksman's fantasy is to be at the site of a volcano precisely when it erupts in

order to test out his detection theories, which quite possibly could

millions of lives in the future.

You are not thinking of sending him up to Cabo Loa, are you?

It's his fantasy, Datu.

My main concern is that Dr. Workman seems more concerned in the scientific

magnitude of such a discovery than in its benefits to mankind.

My dear guests, I am Mr. Rock, your host. Welcome to Fantasy Island.

My husband died six years ago, Mr. Rourke.

He'd been on an overseas trip. He phoned me from the airport, told me to break

out the champagne. He'd just closed a big successful business deal.

A drunken driver. I'd swiped his cab. He... Yes, I know, I know.

I am so very sorry, Mrs. Nicholson.

What a pity you had no children.

You see, now, that's really the point.

I suddenly woke up one day and took a look at my life. I mean...

I've created this incredible conglomerate. I have more money than I

possibly spend.

And it just doesn't mean anything to me anymore.

What I really want is a child of my own before it's too late.

I am sure there have been many candidates for that honor, Mrs.

But you see, I'm looking for a very special kind of man.

I want to fall in love again, Mr. Rourke.

With a man that I can look up to and respect the way I respected my husband.

There is a resort known as Paradise Bay on a neighboring

island. Owned and operated by a Mr. Anton Jaeger. He specializes in

luxurious entertainment and relaxation for wealthy ladies. I have booked your

suite there.

Mr. Rourke, I'm not interested in taking saunas and playing golf.

Mr. Jaeger has somehow managed to assemble the most extraordinary

attractive...

Unmarried men, one of whom may embody all the qualities you are seeking.

If that could be true.

Be aware of one thing, Mrs. Nicholson.

Even perfection has its drawbacks.

Perfection is the one thing I feel prepared to handle.

I sincerely hope so, Mrs. Nicholson.

You will find one of our employees waiting at your bungalow to escort you

your destination.

Thank you. You're very welcome. Good luck.

Think of the impact on science, Mr. Rourke. Being able to predict with

when energy equal to 100 megaton nuclear explosions will unleash itself.

And I'm counting on your mountain not to let me down. Oh, only Kavaloa's

isolation.

has kept its regular eruptions from claiming many lives, Dr. Workman. I am

certain you will not be disappointed.

Mr. Rock, I see that you're reluctant to send me in there because of the

dangers. Don't be.

Benefits to a very uncertain science are well worth the risk.

Perhaps to you, Dr. Workman.

But my principal concern will remain the protection of life.

Twelve years ago, Kavaloa erupted.

Although no lives were lost, the village was destroyed.

I have granted you this fantasy in the hope that with advanced warning, a

potential disaster might be avoided.

I understand.

To each his own. No offense.

Oh, not at all, no.

What are these?

Uh, Mr.

Luria, who will act as your guide.

It makes regular trips to supply the natives who live near the mountain. I

didn't think you'd mind taking this supply so long.

Well, I've got a mountain to worry about, and I'm very anxious to get

Are you ready, Robert?

In your own enthusiasm, I ask you to be patient.

Mr. Luria lives in his own private world, but he will serve you well.

That is all I ask.

Thank you. You're very welcome.

Mrs. Nicholson arrives this afternoon.

Refresh my memory, Barker.

She holds 75 % of the stock in Nicholson Media. It's a holding company for a

group of magazines and newspapers.

She's into manufacturing software for a paid television outfit. And she's

into... Yes, the bottom line.

Net worth, 30 million. Give or take a few hundred thousand.

What about her love life?

Hmm.

This is her ex -husband.

And that is her most recent boyfriend.

She likes them tall, dark, and handsome.

How does Gilberto check out?

Your paternity, sir.

Down to the most intimate detail.

Good morning, Mr. Jager.

Good morning.

Have you a cigarette?

Certainly, sir.

A Turkish import.

I hope you enjoy it.

The right wrist looks stiff.

Is there a problem?

No, he passed the examination 100%. Let me take a look.

If you have any problems, I will replace the end. Do you understand?

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

Barker will show you Mrs. Nicholson's file.

I want you to study carefully.

With anticipation, sir.

This is your first assignment.

I'll be watching to see how you perform.

I will perform perfectly, sir.

We're not lost already, are we?

I asked you a simple question, Robert.

No, we're not lost.

Good.

I figured you'd know this country blindfolded.

Like the rest of our species, Doctor.

All I know is the depth of my own deep ignorance.

You know your manners could use improvement.

But you talk like a philosopher.

That's why I speak as little as possible.

Have it your way.

Where do you want to set the next sensor?

On the ridge there, south of Kabbalah.

It's very close to a very dangerous volcano. That's where I have to go.

I have a better idea.

I'll radio back and you wait here. They'll come and pick you up in the

You can tell your friends the good news, which is you're still alive.

Rob it.

I'm going on, with or without you, and in that truck.

Yes, I suppose you would.

I'm going to check a reference point. Wait here.

Robert is an ex -priest?

A new arrival, right?

Yes. Looks very nice.

That, as you will learn, my dear, is the understatement of the century.

Maggie Dunphy. How do you do? Dorothy Nicholson. And this is Boris, a real

yet, but he's very sweet and attentive.

A former baron.

Oh, hello.

Welcome to Paradise Bay, Mrs. Nicholson.

If you will excuse me, my dear, I will take Hector to the stables.

If you will allow me, I will take your horse, too.

Sure.

Why not?

I have made a reservation at La Cabana for 8 o 'clock.

I'll pick you up at 7 .30 if that is convenient.

Goodbye, Mrs. Nicholson.

Isn't that a walking, talking dream?

Mrs. Nicholson? Yes.

My name is Anton Geiger.

Welcome to Paradise Bay.

Thank you. Our system here is very simple, Mrs. Nicholson.

Each guest is provided her own escort, carefully selected by our search,

whose sole responsibility is to make her happy, relaxed, and filled with the joy

of life.

May I introduce Gilberto De Vincenzo?

Hello.

Welcome.

Thank you.

Gilberto will show you to your suite.

It has a magnificent view of the bay.

I know you will like it.

Oh, I had luggage.

Oh, it's all been taken care of. There's a large staff on the island whose job

is to take all of the stress out of your life.

This way.

Excuse me.

Enjoy yourself, honey.

Where do you find them?

A professional's secret, Mrs. Danfield.

But I'm glad you're pleased.

Welcome.

Well, it's lovely.

I'm glad you like it.

If you're not too tired from your journey, we could take a drive around

island. It's very beautiful.

Well, I'd like that very much, I bet.

May I call you Gilbert?

Of course, Dorothy.

I'll be waiting for you in the lobby whenever you're ready.

Oh, darling, you're wonderful.

I just can't keep up with you.

I'm exhausted.

Oh, don't go. Not yet.

Well, there she is.

Beautiful.

And dangerous.

Robert, I want to get these senses planted up on the rim.

As soon as possible.

There's more power potential stored up there than man could ever muster.

With all his hydrogen bonds.

Robert. Robert, look here.

It's gold.

Negotiable securities. It must be... It must be worth millions.

You're right.

Dead right.

There's no need for a gun.

Now, who is he?

You know this man?

Mr. Rourke asked me to guide him in. I had no choice.

Butler, isn't it?

Joseph E. Butler.

Yes, I remember seeing your picture in the Honolulu paper yesterday.

You're a bright boy.

What did the paper say?

Something about a big financier entrepreneur disappearing with the

securities and gold.

You are a bright boy.

As I said before, Mr. Butler, there's no need for the gun.

You're not my concern.

My work is up on the mountain.

What do you intend to do with your share of the money, Robert?

Buy your way back into the priesthood?

Somehow Captain Cook missed this whole archipelago.

They had a very unusual society.

The chiefs were always women and held in very high reverence. That's

fascinating.

You know, I think I should have liked living in that society.

Oh, yes. You would have made a lovely chief.

And I'm sure produced beautiful children to perpetuate the royal blood.

I'm sorry. Have I offended you?

Oh, no.

No, not in the way you mean.

Tell me, what's an attractive, cultured man like yourself doing here in Paradise

Bay?

Well, let's see.

My parents have an importing business in New York.

When I left Yale, I really didn't know what I wanted, so I joined the firm.

But after a few years, I realized that the Almighty Buck wasn't the God I was

seeking, and so I retired.

And now you work for Mr. Jager?

Well, I'm not on the payroll, if that's what you mean.

I came here because... because I discovered a void in my life.

Somehow, Jager heard about me and invited me to the island.

So, as you can see, I'm a seeker after love just as you.

Oh, my God, your hand.

You've burned your hand.

That's pretty clumsy of me.

You can see how you affect me.

It's nothing to worry about.

Nothing?

But it must hurt terribly. It's going to scar. No, no, really. It's all right.

Listen, I think we should get started back now. We dine at 8. And I'm sure

like to try our jacuzzi before you change.

Come on. It's okay.

Come on.

You figure all this stuff is going to tell you when the mountain's going to

blow? Is that it, Doc?

I think so, yeah.

Yeah? Well, I say you're out of your mind. I read the newspapers, too.

Nobody knows when a volcano's going up.

Mr. Butler, Cabo Loa doesn't give a damn what either of us thinks.

When she's ready to go, she'll go.

If my instruments are correct, we should have a small eruption any moment.

And a major one in about 12 hours.

Radio the boat.

I want to make sure what time they're going to be here in the morning. I don't

want any foul -ups.

I want the doctor to get to you, Joe. Get the boat!

Everything seems to be in motion.

Joey's going to produce a big picture when we get to South America.

I'm going to star in it.

I... I wish you luck.

Thank you.

What are these things?

Sensing devices.

They record seismic disturbances from on a traverse.

Maybe two -way radios, huh?

Hardly. Knock it off!

Why don't you go a little easier on her?

Oh, forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. Is that it?

Leave it to an ex -priest to tell a man how to treat a woman.

Right, Doc?

KMT 278, stand by, please.

It's your boat.

Captain, this is Butler. I want to verify your ETA for tomorrow.

Right on the button.

I hope she waits till tomorrow for the big one.

Joey, I'm scared.

Knock off the whining. I'll give you something to be scared about.

Excuse me, Mrs. Nicholson.

I have to steal Gilbert away.

Of course.

I'm sorry.

Listen, tomorrow, if you feel up to it, perhaps we could go into town. They have

a remarkable little art gallery on Front Street.

They're very lovely.

Good. See you then.

Honey, I've had three husbands, each richer than the last.

Not to mention a lover or two.

That Baron, I introduced him to you yesterday.

Boy, is he something else.

Well, that's quite a testimonial.

The guy is just perfect.

Makes love like... like Casanova.

And if there was a war today, he'd be a shirt for the Medal of Honor.

I don't understand.

I'm talking about guts.

This guy is made of... Deal.

He was tossed by that stallion yesterday.

Slashed his arm on some barbed wire this deep.

I tell you, I nearly fainted.

What did he do?

Wrapped it with a kerchief and carried on as if nothing had happened.

Talk about macho.

Well, then it couldn't have been as bad as you thought.

Well, honey, I saw it.

It'd take 30 stitches to sew him up.

If he was some football -playing dummy, I might understand, but this boy is

sensitive.

Oh. Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.

Is he sensitive.

Excuse me, Maggie.

Oh, am I boring you?

No, no, no, no. It's just, well, it's been a long day. I think what I really

need is a good night's sleep.

Oh, sleep you can get any time.

The hours you spend here are precious, honey.

All your hours are precious, Maggie.

Anywhere. See you tomorrow.

doing here so early matter of fact what are you doing here at all i came to

be with you i see joe sent you to keep an eye on me huh that it i would have

come anyway but all this scares me to death okay well we'll get you out of

in a minute i just have a little more to do

Would you hold that for me?

Thank you.

Guess you don't think very much of me, do you?

I'm not an expert on women, Teddy.

Come on.

I'm not an expert on anything.

Especially men.

Well, then I guess we've got something in common after all.

Yeah, I guess we have.

I've got to chill.

I wish...

What?

I wish I was smarter.

I never was, Barry.

I always took what came along.

I wish... Well, well, well.

Very touching indeed.

But Joe's a very careful man.

He wants both of you back at the cabin till the boat comes.

And then what?

We all live happily ever after?

Why not?

Well, you said it, Robert.

Joseph's a very careful man.

Take you, for instance.

You'd make a wonderful witness for the prosecution.

After the law catches up with him.

Nice try, Doc.

But all Joe really wants is a little freedom in all of South America to spend

that money in.

Right, Teddy?

I don't know what Joe wants anymore.

You don't have to go back, Teddy. I'll take you back to Fantasy Island.

My, my.

Cold man of science showing symptoms of human kindness.

Well, I don't need kindness.

We all need kindness, Teddy.

Even men of the cloth who have gone sour on life.

I don't need a sermon, Doc.

Especially from you.

No.

But we do need men like you, Robert.

Somebody to keep things together for the rest of us.

He's going to kill you, Robert.

It's simple economics. When that boat arrives, he doesn't need you anymore.

And the gold he promised you, he's going to keep for himself.

You're a fool, Doc.

You better go.

You two can make it faster alone.

If I weren't a religious man, I'd tell you where to go.

The harmonic tremors are coming in swarms now.

What the hell does that mean?

It means that our mountain is about to blow wide open, Joey.

I'd say from now on, any minute.

All I need is one more hour. You're not going to make it.

Let me take him back in the truck, Joe. You can keep the radio and be long gone

before we even get close to civilization.

I like you better without your religion.

You know that?

Yeah.

How about it, Joe?

I don't care about the money anymore. It's not going to get me what I want.

Maybe that's what's wrong with you.

Forget it.

Hey, Joey. Shut up.

I'm sorry.

Live and learn.

Seems to be the name of the game for both of us today.

I wish I'd met you before, you know?

Don't tell me Doc is going to bankroll a show for you, too.

No.

But you really weren't going to either.

I know that.

You know, you're a nice pair, you and Doc.

He's a bright boy, and all of a sudden you're getting to be a bright girl.

Why don't you give us a little sample of what the world is going to be missing?

Come on.

Leave her alone.

Stay out of it, Reverend.

I said dance.

Please, Joe, don't.

Dance.

There isn't any music.

You don't need any.

That's not too great, baby.

Right, Doc?

How about it, Reverend?

Unanimous.

Now we wait.

Help me.

Whoever you are, will you help me?

Look, my name is Gilbert DiVincenzo. I'm a prisoner here.

Now, please, help me with these straps.

Two of you? I don't... I don't understand.

I'll try and explain.

Jagger looks for attractive independent bachelors all over the world.

He lures them here on some pretext, and then he duplicates them. He clones them.

Clones them?

Yes. He's a brilliant man.

He's a rogue scientist. He's mad.

The only reason I'm still alive is because I've refused to sign everything

have over to him. It was only a matter of time.

You mean the original is always murdered?

Well, what else?

Up front, he gets everything we have.

After he gets some wealthy woman hooked by one of those mechanical men, the

robots program to transfer everything she has over to him, too.

Oh.

Thank you.

I'm sorry.

I mean, for you, the duplicate of me, it isn't really me. You understand?

I thought clones were an exact duplication. They are exact in every

only a duplication, not the original.

Not the original.

Would you kiss me?

What?

as well as my clone?

Perhaps not as mechanically perfect, but I think we could work on it.

Well, let's get the hell out of here.

Oh, they have armed guards. I saw them.

This is the computer room where the controls are.

Yes, I know. We're going to have to wait until after dark to leave anyway.

We're thinking we can't just walk away.

I mean, all those men who were cloned and then killed.

Where the hell could she be? All I know is the nightmaid reported that Mrs.

Nicholson is not in her room. Did you check Gilberta's room? Not there.

She's a newspaper woman.

Maybe she's more interested in the public's right to know than she is in

sex life.

Look like the transmission line.

May I help you?

May I help you?

May I help you?

Awful. I know, but it's the only way.

Dorothy, pull the plug.

They're heading for the boat landing.

Are you hurt?

I think my ego's bruised.

We'll take care of that later.

Oh, it's Mr. Rourke.

Dorothy, you run. I'll stop Jaeger. It's the only chance. Gilbert, I'll kill

you. I was a dead man anyway.

Good luck on it.

All right, it's time to get moving. The boat will be here in 30 minutes.

Load the truck, Reverend.

And you, you help your boyfriend outside with the truck. Why bother?

Because I'm a detail man. I don't like to leave loose ends. Now get going.

It works, yes.

It blew up right on the button. The equipment works. It works.

Congratulations. I guess.

Look!

Joe,

come back here. Come back here, you fool!

I'll get him.

Joe! Joe!

Joe! Come here!

Wait a minute!

Go on.

I'm not leaving without my gold or my money. Do you hear me? Now you go or

shoot you where you stand.

Now get out of here.

I am sorry your fantasy was not all you had hoped, Mrs. Nicholson.

Perhaps I did find the perfect husband.

But I'll never know, will I?

Will she, boss?

I believe Mrs.

Nicholson now knows this, that though perfection may not be within human

possibility, love and self -sacrifice are.

And that, after all, even more important qualities.

I've thought of nothing else since you took me off the island.

However, don't despair, Mrs. Nicholson.

I am not without certain resources, you know.

Mrs. Nicholson, that's him.

It's Gilbert.

Oh, Mr. Roy.

If there's anyone on this earth who's perfect, it's you.

Thank you for coming.

Well, doctor, I sent your paper on determining natural eruptions to every

scientific capital in the world. I hope it will save many lives in the future.

I hope so.

In the meantime, Teddy and I are going to do some personal research of our own.

On personal relationships.

We are delighted.

What about you, Mr. Luria?

I'm returning to my ministry, Mr. Rourke.

Hopefully a wiser man.

Thanks to hell.

And to you.

I'm delighted.

Thank you very much. Goodbye.