Original subtitles

All this water.

The princess?

Bye -bye.

Good

morning,

Mr. Rourke.

Good morning, Julie.

Smiles, everyone.

Smiles.

Mr. Timothy Potter from Cleveland, Ohio.

What's his fantasy? Mr. Potter is an amateur conjurer.

He entertains at hospitals and at children's parties with card tricks and

producing a stuffed rabbit out of a hat and other familiar prestidigitations.

Oh, that's nice. He gives pleasure to people.

Sometimes. That is debatable.

Unfortunately, Mr. Potter is not a very good conjurer.

You might say his sleight of hand is slight indeed, and his magic, tragic.

Oh, I'm afraid he blew it.

Yes, as usual.

That is why his fantasy is to be not just a good magician, but to be the very

best.

I don't know about that.

What a stunning lady.

Yes, indeed.

Her name is Miss Marjorie Denton.

Would you care to guess her profession, Julie?

Movie star? Maybe an actress who wants to write the great American novel?

Would you believe a bus driver from Philadelphia?

Really? Yes. A bus driver?

Well, why not?

She is one of that new breed of women who believe they can do most things as

well as men. And therein lies her problem.

She has found there is an unexpected price to such beliefs.

And she hungers for the old days when women were treated with grace and

chivalry. What's her fantasy, to wear a crinoline?

No, Julie. Miss Denton's dream is simply to meet the most exciting, gallant, and

virile man in the world.

Well... I can certainly sympathize with that fantasy.

Can you, Julie? Well... Unfortunately, to fulfill her fantasy will expose her

dangers she cannot anticipate.

My dear guests, I am Mr. Rock, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

I'm so grateful to you, Mr. Work, if you only knew how desperate I am to be

treated like a woman, to find a man with some real manners, someone to bring out

the feminine in me. That I promise you will experience.

And in what better way could life satisfy your fantasy than to transport

back to the very days when such men were plentiful?

You mean back in time?

Exactly. Julie?

Remember, Miss Denton, you are going back to a time when human life was held

very cheaply.

Although men gave that special attention to the ladies, that trait you so

admire, women were also almost slaves, subject to many

restrictions and sometimes great cruelty.

You can't frighten me, Mr. Rourke.

I see.

Then... Step through that door, Miss Denton.

Good luck.

How can I be of service to you, my lady?

I'd like some dinner, please.

This way, please, my lady.

Here, potbelly.

Here, you befuddled old wicker.

Don't you leave a man asleep.

That lady.

A handsome creature.

Handsome?

She is.

Desdemona.

Cleopatra. Helen. All rolled into one.

I must win her love.

Please, I am paralyzed in her presence.

The sight of such beauty strikes me dumb.

You wish to do a little business. Why didn't you say so before?

Something with a deep sincerity of feeling, I think.

Penetrate the recesses of her heart.

The flights of romantic fancy.

Here, the perfect sonnet.

Take it hard Is

that

your card I'm terribly sorry.

Oh That's all right

I practice every day, but I guess I'm just naturally clumsy.

See, the reason I do my magic is because I have no family of my own, and I like

to make people feel good.

Makes me feel close to them.

Unfortunately, I am the great Butterfinger.

That's me.

Julie?

Oh.

Maybe this will open up new possibilities for you.

Yes. The key unlocks that trunk which is full of assorted paraphernalia, items

of wardrobe, but most importantly, personal journals which contain the

of all the greatest magic tricks of all time.

And who is to say that some of those great stage magicians of the past did

in fact possess real magic, Mr. Potter?

Terrific, Mr. Rourke. I can't wait.

Oh, first, take the trunk to your bungalow, Mr. Potter.

Study its contents.

Study well.

You see, I have arranged for a special matinee performance for you this very

afternoon. What do you mean, a real performance?

Yes.

Mr. Rourke, will I be ready?

I sincerely hope so, Mr. Potter.

Uh, let me try this trick again.

Take a card.

Is it?

I'm afraid not.

What a shame.

Well, I'll have to keep practicing.

Madame, by your grace, I am

Gaston de Bruyles.

Cadet of His Majesty's Cavaliers.

I am, Madame, a little ill at ease at speech.

So I have here penned a few words from my heart.

When I beheld the fragrance of your face, saw the stars shining

from your eyes, felt...

The caress of your sweet breath.

And thus, my angel, plead I this.

Enchant your servant with a kiss.

It's beautiful.

Oh, my darling.

If you would grant me the opportunity.

I could perhaps reveal all my heart contains.

Well, where do you suggest?

In the courtyard yonder.

In one.

I think that my fantasy is going to be just wonderful.

Thank you, Mr. Hork.

Wherever you are.

Thank you.

I'm not exactly sure what's in here.

I haven't had a chance to check it all out.

Let's see.

It's very pretty.

What's this?

Ye clever beasts.

Well, let's try it.

En kum, en kol, en kumitanis, wunda,

wunda.

I'm afraid what I really need is for you to disappear.

See, but I... I'm not sure where the formula is.

Would you excuse me just a moment, okay?

Pardon me.

Mr. Oryx.

This is wonderful, I know, but what do I do now?

Surely the book instructs you.

I warned you to study well, Mr. Potter.

Now it appears that you are personally responsible for one chimpanzee and one

very attractive young lady.

I wish you every success.

My lady?

When I beheld the fragrance of your face, saw the stars shining in your

felt the caress of your sweet breath, and thus, my angel, plead I this,

thy servant to kill.

The same tune.

The same lyrics.

That phony.

It seems I owe you an apology, Madame.

Who are you?

The miscreant who sold that land, the poet.

And several others.

A man must eat.

And drink, apparently.

I see you know my frailty.

We yearn for love, and when disappointed, flake our thirst with less

Hey, wait a minute.

I know that phrase.

It was written by... Cyrano de Bergerac.

At your service.

Cyrano.

Why, at school I read every poem that you published.

My words? In school?

It's a long story.

I know it's not very ladylike, but I'd like to get to know you better.

Much better.

Madame, your beauty is indeed overwhelming, and you honor me, but I am

fear.

Roxanne. Oh, you've heard, yes, she who languished in a nunnery, mourning,

mistakenly believing me dead.

My adoration for her was all the love that this poor frame could bear in one

short lifetime.

But you say, Loper, would that Lady Yonder provide enduring entertainment on

rack?

Or would you favor the kiss of a thousand lies?

Why, not both, my lord.

The time looks propitious for me to...

One thing really worries me.

Years from now, when people ask me how we met, what'll I say?

Just tell them it was a magic moment.

Sabrina!

Naughty girl, now you get up there. Go on.

Suva, she is a lovely chimp and everything, but I can't possibly take

to Cleveland with me.

Well, then how will you arrange it? I mean, Sabrina and I, we've always gone

together, you know.

I don't know.

But I do know I'm not going to leave Fantasy Island without you.

Hey, wait a minute.

I've got an idea.

If I could make Sabrina disappear, well, that would solve everything because

that would leave just you and me.

I don't know, Tim.

Don't worry. Here it is. The spell.

To bring forth ye clever beasts.

Maybe if I said the incantation backwards, she'll disappear.

I'm scared.

There's nothing to be scared of. I've figured it all out. It'll work.

Here we go.

Or rather, here you go, Sabrina.

Dawun. Tim, wait. Don't do it.

Dawun sunat imuk.

Tim!

Dawun.

Oh, no.

Mademoiselle, I am clumsy with words and a self -confessed liar in the game of

love. But I beseech you, hear my case.

Take off, will you?

Take off what, madame?

My hat is here in my hand and my sword. Without it, I would be naked.

Get lost.

Split.

Can't you see that I have problems of my own?

Mademoiselle, I beg you. Oh, miss, jackanapes disturb you, mademoiselle.

If you continue to importune the lady, you will have me to deal with, puppy.

My apologies, mademoiselle.

Thank you, monsieur, but why did he run?

He knows better than to incur the wrath of the foremost swordsman of France,

mademoiselle.

Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to my chateau?

I'll get my cloak.

Innkeeper, my cloak.

I must warn you, mademoiselle.

That man is evil.

He has killed more than a hundred men in as many duels.

Isn't that why I came here?

To have men fight over me?

He's invited me to his chateau for a visit.

You know this man, Friar?

The Marquis Philippe de Sade.

An evil man like you told the lady.

More than you can guess, my friend.

He will cite a line which will produce the most infamous name in French history

and give rise to a new word describing cruelty.

I don't know where Suba came from, Mr. Rourke.

But I tell you, in just a couple of hours, that girl changed my life.

Many fortunate men have had that exciting experience, Mr. Potter.

Exciting? Yes.

Mr. Rourke, this isn't just excitement. Oh?

No, I... Well, I think I love Suba.

Well, then you must use your magical powers, Mr. Potter.

This is your fantasy. You must find a way.

I lack the finesse.

Oh, no, no.

You have not really given yourself the chance to find that out. You attempted

too much too soon, that's all.

You did warn me, didn't you?

I just got carried away.

Yes, and I now suggest that I arrange for you to give another performance.

Perhaps if we duplicate exactly, exactly the conditions of the first show.

You will be able to make the young lady appear again tonight.

Well, then it would have to be on the stage. And maybe the audience is

important, too. Oh, indeed. But do your homework, Mr. Potter.

Plan.

Memorize, huh? I promise. I will, Mr. Rourke.

And tonight on that stage, I'll bring Super back. I will make it happen.

Cause have you to complain, horse?

What about me?

Me, the spinner of golden words and the weaver of dreams, sleeping on straw and

eating from garbage piles without even a lock on my door.

We have come for our money, you pernicious fabricator.

You sold us both the same sock.

Have you no comment?

Your unseemly entrance caused me to nick my face.

I will nick more than that.

En garde.

I have no money, and I am without a sword.

Then fight with your nose, you craven paltroon. It outspans my rapier by at

least a foot.

The Lady Marjorie has been seen entering the chateau of the Marquis de Tade.

Ah, that monster.

He will butcher her inch for inch.

By oath of chivalry, we must rescue her from his evil pleasure.

Death to the Marquis!

Onward! Forward!

Death to the Marquis de Sade!

They have about as much hope of defeating de Sade and rescuing that girl

have of winning the two -kilometer dash at Reims.

Their Marjorie showed me much respect.

She knew of my poor scribbling.

She professed her love.

Seems we have been summoned from retirement, old friend.

Sabrina, please don't do that. I'm trying to learn my line.

For sure said no pets.

He's got an ape in there.

It's part of his act. It's different.

I mean, he's an artiste.

Formula for further transformations.

Maybe that'll do it.

Northweed and birch, bright bloom of bracken.

Northweed and birch, Shazam.

Oh!

No,

no, no. Listen, there's no reason to be frightened. It was a mistake. I was just

trying.

I'm going to break your magic wand.

Wait,

wait, wait. Get away from me.

Pull off your pet.

I'm awfully sorry, but why should I?

the thought that the Marquis de Sade will not prevail against the three of

Right. Right.

Right. Death to the monster de Sade.

Next time, I shall kill the lot of you.

Forgive the interruption of some unwelcome visitors.

The venison is not to your liking.

Well, I, uh, I guess I'm not hungry.

Try a little of this burgundy.

From my own vineyard.

Exquisite, is it not?

Oh, it's marvelous.

Wine is truly the ambrosia of the gods.

It gives us great pleasure.

But there are many other delights we humans are privileged to enjoy.

Killing a hated enemy, loving a beautiful woman, giving

and receiving pain.

Pain?

The rarest form of pleasure.

Soon to be all the fashion in Paris.

The exaltation that comes with surrender to it is an extreme of

bliss, an ultimate of passion.

How thoughtless of me.

You are weary.

Loban will escort you to your chamber to rest.

Oh, I...

I'd rather return to the inn, please.

Unless the roads are too dangerous for a high -born lady.

We shall continue with this discussion later.

And I will show you what unseen delights.

Ladies and gentlemen, those of you who saw my first performance will recall

I made a young lady appear out of nowhere.

Thank you.

Unfortunately, she's lost again.

Her name is Suba.

I'm going to try to make her reappear in exactly the same way as I made her

appear before.

Everything will be the same.

Can you help me do that?

Thanks.

Suba, come to me.

I can't. Tim, help me.

Hold on, Suba.

Don't let go.

I can't help it.

I love you, Tim.

I'll always love you.

Lost forever.

Forget this intrusion, mademoiselle. I come as a friend. How did you get here?

In the old days, I was a frequent guest of the mocking father.

A most honorable man, much shamed by the creeper who bears his name.

There is a secret passageway through which I propose to take you, to safety.

What's that?

The marquee at Sport, in the dungeons below. Come, we must hurry.

Did you really think you could outwit the Marquis de Sade?

Such antics are for younger men.

Dispose of him in some suitable fashion and take the lady to

my palace of pleasures.

So much for life.

Is that it?

Are you going to accept death just like that?

I always thought that you were a man of honor.

Challenge him to a duel.

You wish me to do battle at my age and in my condition?

I wish you to display a sense of chivalry, monsieur.

My lord.

When I was a guest of your father, of blessed memory, he confided in me his

despair for your future. He feared...

Your mother's indulgence had softened your masculinity beyond the point of

recovery so that you would be forced to spend your life protesting it.

Honor demands you pay for those words.

On the point of my sword.

Prepare him for combat.

We should deal with the woman when I have impaled him like the squealing pig

is.

You were wonderful.

The pleasure will be all his, I fear.

Zuba, can you hear me?

I don't know where you are.

I'm not even sure what you are.

But I know you're out there.

And I know I love you.

And I don't want to stay here without you.

So maybe if you can't come to me, maybe I can come to you.

I'm going to try and make myself disappear exactly the same way I made

disappear in the bungalow.

It'll be my last trick.

I hope my best one ever.

If it works, maybe I'll be out there where you are.

Wherever that is.

Wounder.

Wounder.

Sabrina, please don't do that. Stop it. No.

Let her, Mr. Potter.

Let Sabrina turn the page.

Warkle brute.

Warkle brattling.

Stemple warkle.

Stemple wart.

Suba!

I fear you have picked a poor champion, mademoiselle.

A thousand gallons of Rhenish wine have created this monument.

Cannot expect to disperse them in a moment.

You make me feel so proud.

Risking your life for me.

Come to chide again, brother?

Or to say my last rites?

On the contrary, I come to comfort and encourage you.

It would take new eyes and a fresh apparatus of muscles to do that.

Victory comes not only from strength and skill, but from a man's mind.

If he thinks he's going to lose, be sure he will.

Think about that.

I realize I have no control over the outcome.

You mean he might lose?

In this age, lose is another word for die.

Chivalry is a beautiful concept, Miss Denton, until you're on its cutting

But it's only a fantasy, Mr. Rourke.

Can't you do something?

Alas, once a fantasy is on the way, it's out of my hands.

But have faith in yourself, Miss Denton, and in your love.

Love is the overwhelming force of the universe.

It transcends all barriers and overcomes all obstacles.

It is time.

A younger man would have had me then.

First in blood.

Oh, this is my pleasure.

Achieve this reward.

I have the most exquisite pleasures in mind for you, my dear.

Why not fight on with your nose?

It's long enough.

If a man thinks he's going to lose, he surely will.

Long enough.

Your command of language is as feeble as your swordmanship.

And now thus.

This nose is a pier stretching into the ocean of infinity.

A noble spire worthy of divinity can taunt the throne like a Grecian discus

foolish fop with less proboscis. He who disperse this nose, the seeds of his

astounding soul.

Its exalted feet protect the warning.

Take ye the tractor of eternity's warning.

But your blade suspends me. You offend the snout. Ye insult me.

And at his peril.

You're not worth soiling my blade, you miserable, perverted popinjay.

Innocent! You were marvelous!

It was something that monks said about the power of thinking. Your courage

and... My love.

My darling.

Will Benton.

You must come with me now.

Your fantasy is over.

Oh, no.

No, please.

Let us spend just a little time together.

I'm sorry.

One kiss and I'm in love with a charming, brave, and wonderful

ghost.

Mr. Rourke, I know I don't have any right to ask you this, but please.

Don't separate us again.

But the young lady was only a part of your fantasy, Mr. Potter, which is now

over.

Julie?

Sorry, Mr. Potter, but rules are rules.

You must now make her disappear once more for the last time.

I understand what must be done.

Goodbye, Tim.

Read it, Mr. Barter.

Read it.

Strimble walk.

Strimble brack.

Fly.

But the difference is, she has gone to Cleveland, Mr. Potter.

To Cleveland?

That's right. She'll be waiting for you when you get home.

Mr. Rourke, what can I say? No more spells, Mr. Potter.

From now on, stick to conjuring, thank you, and card tricks, huh?

Thank you. Thank you.

Very welcome, Mr. Potter.

Julie. Goodbye.

You don't seem happy, Miss Danton. Didn't you enjoy your fantasy?

It was what I asked, but, oh, I would have liked to have known Cyrano better.

He was everything in the world I wanted in a man.

I see.

Unfortunately, your request didn't specify a lasting relationship.

Well, at least I got to know him.

It's something that I'll treasure for the rest of my life.

Thank you, Mr. Rourke. Before you go, may I introduce Monsieur Bertrand

Sabatier, a college professor who loves Cyrano's work as much as you and wanted

to relive his last days.

Your... Appearances are sometimes deceptive, Miss Denton, but trust your

The nose went with the roll.

Do you mind?

It wouldn't have made any difference.

And thus, my angel, plead I this, enchant thy servant with a kiss.