Original subtitles

The plan!

The plan!

Good morning, boss. Good morning, Tattoo.

Smiles, everyone, smiles.

Those people, are they here for a fantasy?

Indeed they are, too.

They look like they cannot afford it.

What kind of deal did you make?

First I will tell you their story, and then you will tell me about the deal I

made, all right?

Don't be so boss.

Sometimes you're a stalker for said story.

Am I?

We shall see.

Senor Manuel Lopez is a farmer. He owns a very small piece of arid land in

Durango, Mexico.

The lady is Consuelo, his devoted wife.

The boy is Paco, their son. He's almost eight.

Last year he was on his deathbed from an infection.

He talked of nothing but a birthday party.

Manuel and Consuelo promised God that if Paco lived, they would give him a

birthday party he would never forget.

Do you have something to say now, Pastor?

Yes. Give them the full treatment.

First class.

Unfortunately for the Lopez family, they are about to be treated.

But in a way that definitely may not be first class.

Wow. I like her. Who is she?

Miss Nancy Harvester of Toledo, Ohio.

For years, she has been the nurse to her aged uncle, who was an invalid.

And if she knows anything at all about life, it is only from the pages of the

many books that have been her only companions.

What's the fantasy, boss?

Oh, the lady has no fantasy.

She is here for the reading of her uncle's will, of which I am the

mean... Exactly the two.

Among the many assets she has inherited, Miss Nancy Harvester has also been

willed a fantasy.

A fantasy she knows nothing about.

That's weird.

We never had that before.

My dear guests, I am Mr. Rourke, your host. Welcome to Fantasy Island.

Nobody. Nobody.

Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho.

What do they call this place, Mr. Rourke? Manuel, stop questioning Mr.

He's tired from the drive.

I'm just asking for a name. I want to tell my friends where I was.

Mr. Rourke, I was just going for a ride.

Later, mister, please.

Señor lores, we drove as fast as we could.

May I present to our guests, Mr. and Mrs. Manuel, Consuelo,

Paquito.

This is...

In her place?

Jose, do you mind taking the piñata to the house?

Certainly, Mr. Rourke.

You brought me here?

What a pleasant surprise, Cousin Dolores.

Mr. Rourke, will you take us back, please?

Where'd he go?

Mr. Rourke?

Manuel, my home is your home.

Now, stop this nonsense and come inside.

Paquito, take my hand.

If you intend to walk back to the Fantasy Island Hotel, it is 37 miles

I once had an accident in three days.

You should do at least as well.

I have avoided that woman for 15 years.

Manuel, God gave us our son back.

We promised him a very special birthday.

Please, just until the party. Then we'll go.

What harm?

Let

me

see.

And for my niece?

My soul surviving heir in addition to material rewards, etc., etc., etc.

Here. A fantasy all her own. To repay my dear and devoted niece for the

youthful years she sacrificed in my behalf.

I wish her to laugh and cry and dance till dawn and have

an affair du coeur.

A romantic affair.

Precisely. No, please. No affair.

I mean, I've never had one.

It's just not me. I just couldn't do it.

What is it, Miss Harvester?

Gene.

Gene Jefferson.

Oh.

Hi.

Hi, Gene.

Nancy. Nancy Harvester.

I'm back home.

Maple Street.

Big house with all the barns. Oh, the girl in the upstairs window.

Old man Harvester's niece.

Yeah. Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

Isn't it great meeting like this?

Yeah, sure. It's a nice coincidence.

We'll see you around.

I mean, I never had a sister or girlfriend or anybody to talk to about

things.

Oh, there's so much I want to know.

I suggest that now you reconsider your uncle's kind bequest of a fantasy.

As a matter of fact, I know a certain woman, a lady of infinite

grace and charm.

I could prevail upon her to come to Fantasy Island.

And act as... Shall we call her your own personal technical advisor?

Oh, Mr. Rourke.

Please, anything.

Young man, do you like iced tea?

You better say yes, I don't like drinking alone.

Come on.

She thinks I'm trash.

She never called you trash.

She doesn't have to say it.

That's the way the rich are.

No! That's the way the poor like you are.

When the well dried out, you didn't let me ride and ask her for a loan so we

could drill a new one.

And then the taxes went up and you wouldn't let me ride her then.

And now the bank said we had to bring up our mortgage payments to date.

You want me on my knees to her because she has money.

No.

It's a coincidence that we're here.

It's Mr. Rourke. My cousin is rich. I don't have a vessel. You're tired of

working like a dog. It's true.

I'm a failure. As a father, as a farmer,

and lately as a husband.

What are you doing?

Well, stay. I just want to change my shirt.

We paid to give the boy a fantasy.

We might as well get our money's worth before I drag you back to that rock I

call a farm.

What was it, Paquito?

Our place reminds him of a picture he saw of the moon.

It's mine.

Where did you get that dress?

Dolores had so many that don't fit her anymore, she said I could take my pick.

You won't find me wearing it.

Hey,

Mark.

Where are you going?

Miss Nancy Harvest's fantasy requires immediate and expert assistance.

Okay, I'm ready.

This time the expert must be a woman of specific feminine abilities.

Oh, no, not her again.

Yes, Tattoo, the situation is critical.

Repel the invaders!

Well, shall I jump to my feet and embrace you to my bosom?

My dear Helen of Troy.

Just seeing you satisfies my appetite for normal pleasures.

Then you can't be very hungry.

How long has it been?

A few hundred years, more or less.

Only that?

It seemed like a thousand.

Do you remember where?

Yes, the Empress lent us her house outside Tsinghua.

We both have our duties, which is why I'm here.

What? Yes.

Work?

Yes.

You just snap your fingers whenever you need me and expect me to come to your

aid? There is a young lady, a Miss Nancy Harvester. There are great difficulties

with her fantasy. My dear Helen, the child has never lived.

And if we do not help her, she may never know what it is to be a woman.

No experiences at all?

None.

Are there really some left like that?

At least one.

Grant me a wish if I help you?

If it is within my power.

Oh, it is.

Now, take me to your young lady, and I shall transform her into a brilliantly

charming, in -control winner overnight. Lady Helen, I caution you, please.

Your power.

Can sow havoc. We don't want to destroy this child.

Flatterer. Okay, just a touch of class for the young lady.

If you will only remember that your goal is simply to get her caught up on

living. No more.

Don't you trust me?

Donna Dolores has a million cows and ten million chickens.

Come on now, you have to take a nap.

It's been a long, hard trip.

But I wanted to see the horses.

Tomorrow.

I like her, Mama, but Papa doesn't. Why?

You must be very proud.

Oh, yes, he's a fine boy. Oh, fine is not the word. I never met a child like

that. The intelligence, the questions he threw at me. How is he being educated?

Where does he go to school?

Has he other interests?

He told me he likes music.

Well, now he's here, we shall talk about it.

Lady Helen, I caution you again.

Please. We don't want to destroy this child.

My dear Rourke, relax.

Be calm.

It's in my hand.

Oh, Mr. Roy.

Miss Nancy Harvester, Lady Helen... Trask, your technical advisor.

Um, it won't work.

My dear, if I could get Josephine ready for Napoleon's court, I can certainly

help you.

Bonjour the competition that woman had.

Please don't tease me.

I'd like to forget the whole project.

Oh, please don't be afraid, Miss Harvester.

Miss Trask is the very best in her business.

Now, I've brought some clothing for you, Mr. Rourke. It told me your sizes.

And I have enough makeup for the corps de ballet.

Why don't you go in and take a look?

She is sweet.

Yes.

I caution you once more.

Push her too hard, and she may retreat back into that shell for the rest of her

life. Haven't you read your history books about Helen of Troy?

Oh, forgive me. Yes, the historians describe you as an innocent symbol of

purity. I know you're going to throw that damn Trojan War in my face again.

Lady Helen, please, please, please calm yourself.

Paris kidnapped me.

Ask Aphrodite.

Ask Phil.

There was nothing I could do about it. I didn't want to be there. And then that

damn Trojan horse. I mean, what the hell could I do about it? I was totally

helpless. You were. You were.

I won't let your young lady down.

I have no fear of that.

I will be watching you.

Closely.

Very closely.

Two bubbles or one?

Two.

You show off.

No, I don't.

Am I having two birthdays?

No, my dear.

Oh, no, no, this is just dinner.

Your party is tomorrow after Elena and Jose's wedding.

Señora, disculpe.

My brother's table is too small for our wedding party. But there is a large old

table in the attic.

Of course, you may have it, Jose.

But why not have the wedding here?

Gracias, señora.

Muchas gracias.

Permiso. Do they live here, too?

They used to.

This is me.

And my dear husband, when we were young. He was a lovely man from a very fine

family.

He died many years ago.

Is that why you have no children?

Paco, I could never have children, Paquito.

That's why I live in this big house alone.

That lady's dancing.

Oh, I used to dance almost all of the original dances of Mexico with the best

them. Right, Manuel?

She was pretty good as a kid.

I am still good.

Let's see.

What?

Oh,

my

darling, I'm so pleased you are here.

Oh, Paquito.

Paquito, are you happy to be here with me?

Oh, yes, Donna Dolores.

I wish that I could live with you forever.

Oh, my darling.

I would like nothing better, Paquito, nothing better.

Oh.

You look ravishing.

I guess this is one of those times you'd say... Oh, here

goes everything.

Come on.

You'll do just fine.

At what? Who are we kidding?

I can't even dance.

Listen to me.

On second thought, what's wrong with a nice, quiet, single person now that

they've developed microwaves?

This is one of those occasions when you say one more time, now concentrate.

Love is exciting and sex comes with love.

The world can be crashing around you, but you remain flaming.

Try to suggest forbidden sinfulness even when you eat.

Males are mischievous.

You show me a great man and I'll show you a fine boy grown up.

Now, do you have it?

I have it, Helen.

I'm telling you, we had better get out of here. No.

Paco must have his birthday party.

Consuelo, she looks at our son like a vulture looks at a lamb.

What do you think she can do, steal him?

I don't know what she can do.

She's rich. The rich can do anything.

You see, Pacito, the bride is getting presents to help her become a good

housewife.

A sewing machine.

Suppose she can't sew.

What if sister can't sew?

Oh, how old is she?

Six. Yeah.

Well, I'm sure she will learn.

They will be a happy family.

Don't you need a baby to be a family?

Indeed, Paquito.

A child is the most important part of any family.

My dear Lady Helen, I will assist you in any way I can, except that I will not

give you permission to possess the body of Nancy Harvester. I simply cannot

countenance that.

Rourke, don't handcuff me, or I warn you, for the first time in my existence,

shall fail.

Oh, I beg your pardon? You also failed with Marie Antoinette?

You never did get your facts straight on that one.

Marie Antoinette would still have her head if she'd only listened to me.

Now, Rourke.

Give me the tools I need to work with or let me out of it. The fantasy has

already begun. You cannot quit. You know that.

Rourke, please.

I'll even give you back the wish you promised to grant me.

All I want are a few opportunities to guide her through the steps.

Like a mother would put a child's feet on hers.

Give her some confidence.

Show her how to take...

One step at a time.

Lady Helen.

My sweet friend and associate.

Given Nancy Harvester's body for one moment, I will never get you out. You

that. I know that. You will live a lifetime in her form while incidentally

cutting a swath of sexual devastation completely across the world.

Would it really be so bad to have me around all the...

But that particular young lady is fully entitled to experience every single

moment of her life completely unfettered.

You do agree with me, don't you?

The trouble is I've gotten to like her.

She's so eager, so hungry to live.

And life is just waiting out there to punch her right in the mouth.

Manuel, can I help in any way?

There's been a flood.

Most of our land is underwater.

The livestock is endangered.

The house is damaged.

I must go back.

Of course.

I'll drive you both to the Fantasy Island plane.

There is a late flight.

The two of you can leave right after Paco's party.

The two of us?

What do you mean, the two of us?

When we came here, I counted three of us.

Well, I assumed you would leave the boy here.

Oh, Manuel, listen to me. I want you to understand where my heart is.

I want Paquito to stay here with me, for his sake as well as mine. It is a

perfectly natural arrangement.

What is so natural, señora, about... Separating a boy from his family.

Well, Manuel, you said it yourself. Your hands are going to be full with that

rock you're trying to farm. And now it is underwater.

Don't feel sorry for us.

We've had floods before.

We've lost our crops before.

That's our way of life.

Listen to me, both of you. I want to give him security.

Provide for his every need.

He will be my legal heir.

Manuel, maybe she's right.

Why must it be Paco's way, too?

He deserves better.

She's turned your head.

He just started to get better.

It's the only practical thing to do.

When we get back on our feet again, we'll send for him.

Consuelo, a child can only belong to one family, not to two.

You're both young and strong and will have many children.

I want Paquito as my own son.

I know he will learn to love me too when I have him to myself.

You'll be compensated. I own other property back in the mainland, including

large, successful working ranch.

You mean we may never see him again? Never? You can't sell me! I won't let

I won't!

Paquito? Paco! Wait, Paquito!

I still hear them laughing at me at the disco.

All you need is one positive, successful experience.

And you'll have it tonight.

You will.

The problem is, I'm not you.

Would that help?

Would you like to be me for a little while?

Oh, Helen, if I could be you with him just this once.

From then on, I'd be fine. I know I would be.

Mr. Rourke refused me permission to do it.

But we women must stick together.

After all, it's our world, too.

You mean... I... you and I would be together?

As all women are one, we are all women.

United for this one night only.

One heart, one soul, one being.

How about that?

Who are you?

Go wash your face. Your makeup's smeared.

Oh, Nancy.

When you come out, you're going to be the new Nancy.

You're going to be oozing confidence.

That little body of yours might be a bit crowded with the both of us in there,

but I promise you, we're going to have a wonderful time.

Paquito.

Paquito.

I guess I'm in trouble for running away.

Just a little bit.

But a man has a right to think things over.

Live his own life.

Sit here, Paco.

Tell me something.

Don't you like it here?

Oh, yes.

I love it. I'd rather be here than anywhere else in the world.

Well, then why are you running away? This could be your new home.

Without my mom, Papa.

You just said that you'd rather be here than anywhere else in the world.

But, Senor Rock, if my mama and papa don't have me, they're not a family.

And they'll be sad and lonely, like Donna Dolores.

Don't you feel sorry for her, Paco?

Oh, she's a very nice lady, but she's not my mother.

What do you say, you and me boogie?

Oh, you got the right idea.

The wrong chick.

Whoa, ho, just in time.

Just in time?

I know, I know you forgot our date. I'm crushed and I'm devastated, but I

forgive you.

You're here.

One night late, but you are here.

You certainly are here.

Oh, we had a date, did we?

Did we have a date?

Look at me. I showered, I shaved, I even put on clean socks.

Now, where have you been?

Aren't we going to dance?

Nancy Harvester, girl in the upstairs window, you and I have a lot to talk

about.

Sorry to scare everybody, but Senor Rourke said a man has to think things

over.

Tomorrow you will have a birthday party you will never forget.

And afterwards, you will go home with your parents.

Thank you for having me.

You're so welcome.

Donna Dolores. Yes, Paquito?

I'm sorry that you have to be alone.

I don't know what it is. You're so different.

Nancy Harvester, you are the most marvelous, incredibly sensuous... Turn

...experience. I had no idea it was humanly possible for any woman to do to

Shut up.

I gotta tell you, you are absolutely not real.

Senora Lopez, when you wrote me that in addition to giving your son a birthday

party at a fine hacienda, you also had another fantasy, I warn you that the

second one might fail.

All I hoped for was that his cousin might help us get back on our feet once

for all.

You knew that your husband had avoided her for years.

Yes, but I didn't know he hated her.

Oh, he doesn't hate her?

He's simply frustrated and embarrassed by his poverty.

He's desperate to hang on to every last vestige of his pride.

To honor his role as husband and father.

Vanity.

I beg your pardon?

That's what it is.

I didn't realize he was vain.

Oh?

Well, perhaps you are right.

But even though you are a very lovely woman, señora, do you not sometimes

that you might be less desirable to him?

Hmm?

Well, he's only a man who is afraid of being less of a man in your eyes.

You see, a certain amount of vanity plays a role in all our lives.

Take it away from him.

And you may destroy him.

Damn it, Nancy, I'd love to take you home to my folks and walk right in and

here, Mom and Pop, here's Nancy Harvester.

Okay.

Sure, that's what I'd like to do.

Well, let's do it.

Nancy, my dad owns the tool and dye factory, half of downtown, and he owns

He's a great one for social structure, family tradition, and that stuff.

And you're a great one for sticking close to the family money, right?

Now, wait a minute.

Forget it.

How long have you been standing here?

Not long.

Oh?

You thought I had disobeyed your orders and possessed her body, didn't you?

Don't answer.

She has been on her own from the moment she left the bungalow.

I simply suggested that I would be along the way a mother sends her child to

school for the first time.

Oh, hi, Mr. Rourke. Helen.

Now, forgive us for disturbing you, Miss Harvester.

Nancy!

Miss Harvester, I am terribly sorry that your fantasy turned out badly.

It's my fault. I urged you to accept it.

Badly?

Oh, no, Mr. Warwick.

My uncle wanted me to catch up on life quickly.

And the Jean Jeffersons of this world are a big part of it.

You will do very well in life.

Well, now that I've learned how to begin living, I will.

Thank you, Helen.

Thank you, Mr. Rourke.

Helen, were you with me, I mean, like, the whole time?

Do you mean did she possess you before?

Well... Miss Harvester, I assure you there is a bit of Helen Trask in every

woman. Nancy!

Please, young man.

Please, Mr. Rourke, I know how I acted.

But I was walking away and suddenly I asked myself, why are you walking away

from her?

Nancy, would you talk to me?

I'm busy.

Mr. Roark, would you ask her to talk to me, please?

Well?

In front of them.

Are you ashamed of what you have to say?

No, I am not.

Nancy, I'm crazy about you.

I was always crazy about you. Suddenly I'm walking away from you.

Again, like I did back home.

Is that what you came back to say to me? I love you.

That's what I came back to say.

What do you think?

Well, he seems sincere.

Don't you think so, Helen?

The relationship has its possibilities.

Yes.

Let's talk.

Oh, my dear Lady Helen, I have never doubted that behind your abundance of

and self -interest lies the honor of a noble woman.

Happy birthday, Pagito.

Also in that pile are some presents from people you've met since you arrived at

Fancy Island.

Oh.

And, uh...

Then Dolores and I have an extra special surprise for you.

Is it something to eat?

You better not try.

Why don't you open this door, Paco, and find out.

and the Lord has something to say to you.

My friend, you all know how difficult it has been for me to run this large ranch

since my husband's death.

My dear Captain Manuel has graciously consented to move over here to the

hacienda and take over the running of my property, which in the end will be his

property. So he might as well start sweating over it.

Happiness to behold, my dear friends. That is perhaps the most joyful.

So lovely.

It reminds me of the gardens of Troy before the siege.

Is that wrong?

Oh, no. Not yet.

You granted me a wish.

Oh.

Indeed I did.

That's right.

And you deserve it.

What shall it be?

The same wish it always was.

To be with you.

To be yours forever.

My dear, you are femininity perfect.

But we both know no man will ever possess Helen of Troy, not even I.

That is why you have remained as you are throughout the ages, belonging to all

men and all women.

You are indeed timeless.

You will need me again, my dear, and I shall be ready.

What can I say, senor?

Your faces say it for all of you, senor Lopez.

Now you go on back to Durango and sell that place of yours as soon as possible.

I don't want your wife and child crying all over me out of loneliness.

There has been enough of that in our family.

Take a moment.

Thanks again.

You're very welcome, senor Lopez.

Tattoo, Mr. Rourke, would you come and visit us?

Oh, of course they will.

Come on.

Bud, that family got a good deal. Well, I simply took your advice, Tattoo.

Well, you did say to give them a first -class treatment, did you not?

Miss Harvester, you look enchanting.

Suddenly, I'm starting to believe it.

And you, Mr. Jefferson, look like you are your own man at last.

Nancy makes me feel like I've never felt before. It's magic.

And it's thanks to you, Mr. Rourke.

And to Helen Trask.

Who was she, really?

Enjoy much happiness, Miss Harvester.

Mr. Jefferson?

Oh, we will.

I'm down from that second story window for good.

I'm delighted.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, Mr. Jefferson.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

Bob. Yes?

Can you fix me up with her?

Miss Harvester?

No, Helen of Troy.

Oh, you're asking a great deal to do. Helen of Troy is a lot of woman to

Perhaps later.

Okay, I can wait.

How much later?

Oh, give me a reminder, say, two or three hundred years from now.