Original subtitles

Well, good morning, Tattoo. It certainly is a lovely day.

If you say so, boss.

Tattoo. Come on, boss.

Let's go meet our guest.

Wait, Tattoo. What is happening?

Boss, we are late. Let's go.

Will you tell me what's happening?

Oh, nothing much, boss. We have a very special guest coming today.

A very special guest?

Who? Oh, here are some of the guests coming.

Mmm, they are beautiful ladies.

Who are they, boss?

Miss Myra Kolinsky and Miss Gladys Boylan, all the way from Terre Haute,

Indiana, where they are nurses in the county hospital.

What's that stuff they're getting?

Oh, they are posters of their favorite movie stars.

Oh, that's Clark Gable and Leslie Howard from Gone with the Wind.

Indeed it is, my friend.

Miss Kolinsky and Miss Boyling are the world's greatest fans of that film. Both

have seen it 135 times.

And it is their joint fantasy to be a woman like Scarlett O 'Hara and fall in

love with someone like Rev Butler or Ashley Wilkes.

They both want to be like Scarlett O 'Hara?

Yes, or someone very like her.

But what?

How can we bring them back to the Civil War?

That's strange.

What's that, boss?

Our next guest, a Mr. Utat, is supposed to be on the plane, but I don't see him.

Maybe Mr.

Utat is already here.

Already here? How could that be possible?

Because Mr.

Utat is me.

How do you spell who taught that word?

Who taught that to you?

I, me.

Well, that's very inventive, my friend. Do I take it you want to live out a

fantasy?

Sure. You already made all the preparation for it when you got the

Oh, yes, yes, yes. The letter which you now say came from you. Now, let me see

if I remember.

Dear Mr. Rourke.

I am a very highly thought -of executive in a responsible job which requires me

to handle a variety of people and accommodate their needs.

By the way, you misspelled there.

Well, nobody's perfect. Continue.

I want my own needs fulfilled for once.

Therefore, it is my fantasy to be admired, adored, and loved by many

women and to be the master of all I survey.

Yours truly,

Mr. H .L. Utat.

H .L.

Hot lips.

Boss, you're going to give me my fantasy.

Please.

My dear guests.

And Mr.

Utat.

I am Mr. Rock, your host. Welcome to Fantasy Island.

I know, fuck you, baby.

Beat it, shrimp -o.

Tattoo, I've been looking for you.

Boss, I was looking for you, too. And I'm really steamed.

What seems to be the difficulty?

My fantasy.

One man was supposed to go banana over me.

Yes?

I struck out ten times, and one lady hit me with her purse.

That to you, of all people, should know that a fantasy is not an automatic

occurrence.

Certain adjustments have to be made. The proper time must arrive.

Be patient a little longer.

Um, why don't you have a coconut boom -boom while you wait?

Ooh -la -la.

Oh, she's a dynamite chick.

How come I never saw her around here?

Luana just started today. She lives on one of the outermost islands, so she has

quite a bit to learn.

Well, enjoy your drink.

Can I have a coconut boom -boom, please?

No way, oh, wee!

I cannot even get a girl to sell me a drink.

Some fantasy.

Rwanda, what's wrong?

Nui Owee.

Look.

It is Nui Owee.

After so many years, we've finally found him.

Don't let him out of your sight. I will tell the others.

been answered.

Nui has been found. You know what must be done.

We

give

thanks, Nui, God of love.

Thanks that you will soon be among us once more.

Mr. Rourke, would you look at us? These terrific dresses were in our bungalow.

Where did you find them?

You both look utterly charming.

Antebellum womanhood at its peak of perfection.

Why, sir, aren't you the one with the words?

I'll bet all the ladies in Atlanta fully swoon after a fine gentleman like you.

When does our fantasy begin, Mr. Rourke? When can we be Scarlet O 'Hara?

Oh, I'm sorry, ladies. I'm afraid there's been an enormous

Well, you can't possibly be Scarlett O 'Hara herself.

You mean we don't get our fantasy?

Well, you see, Gone with the Wind was a piece of fiction.

I could hardly send you to a place that never existed, except in Margaret

Mitchell's imagination.

You mean we don't get to be southern bells at all?

Oh, there is an alternative where you might be southern heroines like Scarlett

'Hara, if that is acceptable.

It's acceptable, of course. But how?

Well, you see, somewhat like the phenomenon that sometimes occurs in the

Triangle, on certain rare occasions here on Fantasy Island, a

strange geomagnetic condition develops, one which allows a

person to step back into another time.

You mean back to Georgia during the Civil War?

Can you really do that?

If conditions are right, yes.

But I must warn you, it could be dangerous.

You must return when I tell you or be trapped forever.

Lana, here we come.

What do we do now?

Well, you simply step into this buggy and start off down that road.

Thank you.

Oh, Mr.

Rourke, if we can't be Scarlett O 'Hara, who should we be?

Yes.

You might call yourself Magnolia Blossoms. It was the code name of the

Angel of Mercy for the Confederacy.

Florence Nightingale of the South, many called her. Oh, the doors of any great

plantation house would be honored to open for such a grand lady.

Magnolia, honey, what are we waiting for?

Bye now.

You see, I'm the real mind behind all of the island operations.

I don't let it go to my head, though.

But let's not talk about me. Let's talk about you.

Hey, come back, you silly girl.

Don't be shy.

I'll find you.

You set me up, you traitor.

Help! Help!

Do not be angry, Nui Owee. We are only taking you to our island. We're all way

to greet you as our god of love.

What did you say?

The god of love.

That is what Nui Owee means.

All our people are waiting for you.

God of love?

Tell me, are there many beautiful girls like you on your island?

Many more beautiful than me.

Well, in that case, let's go.

What are you waiting for?

Battle!

Faster! Faster!

You see anything?

Maybe it isn't going to work.

Hello? Anybody there?

Guess not.

Wait a minute. I think I hear something.

Sounds like thunder.

Must be raining.

What's the matter with that Mr. Rourke?

Does he think we came to Fantasy Island to join the army?

Who's that?

Whoa.

Ma 'am, help me, please.

Looks like a gunshot wound.

Just like home.

Emergency receiving on Saturday night. Ma.

Are you hurting bad?

Pretty bad, ma 'am.

I think you're going to be all right. Yeah.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I done real good in the fighting, ma 'am.

I was right behind the captain.

We was charging.

Only trouble was that I didn't even see who shot me.

Let's get him in the buggy.

Okay.

Up you go, easy.

Hey.

Easy does it.

This Fannin sure is a bust.

If that Mr. Rourke was here, I'd tell him a thing or two.

What would you tell me, Miss Kolinsky?

Oh, very well done.

Even if you don't like your fantasy, I'm sure this young man will always be

grateful for it.

He'd most certainly have bled to death without your help.

We were happy to help, Mr. Rourke, but we sure didn't bargain for all the

shooting and stuff.

But, ladies, you wanted to come back to the Civil War era, and there was a Civil

War during that era.

Gettysburg and Shiloh, Bull Run and Richmond.

We know all that really happened, Mr. Rourke, but...

Well, we wanted it to be different.

Like in Gone with the Wind, Tara.

With Scarlet and Rhett and Melanie and Ashley.

Well, everything was pretty and everyone loved each other. That's what we wanted

to be a part of.

I see.

Well, I am very sorry things haven't worked out as you wished.

We can only hope they will improve.

In the meantime, your patient needs help. I believe there is a house down

road where you can leave him.

Oh, no, here they come again.

What do we do, Mr. Rourke?

Mr. Rourke?

Ha!

Are we there yet?

Soon, Louie, Louie.

Paddle.

I don't go that that big way.

You eat a weed.

Your people are calling you.

Well, let's go.

Well,

good old Nui Owee.

When you got it, you gotta use it.

Welcome to your week.

For many tides there have been no fish in the sea, and my people have been

hungry. So I have prayed for the return of Nui Owee, God of love, who brings

forth riches from the deep waters.

And now my prayers have been answered.

Let us all bow to Nui Owee and do his bidding, for he has returned to bring us

good fortune.

I think you.

No, you.

Oh, no, you. I cannot make up my mind. I think you.

Have your attention, please.

In her hour of need, the Confederacy has called upon her sons to defend her

sacred soil.

But now, she must call upon her daughters to give all they can.

In short, ladies, we need hard money, gold, to buy guns for General

troops, who at this very moment are facing the rampaging hordes of that

Sherman, not... 20 miles from this very spot.

May I have your hat, sir?

Please, ma 'am.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

And you, madam.

Thank you.

It's better to have your men back than the rings they represent.

Thank you, ma 'am.

This is just like the scene where Melanie donates Ashley's ring.

We don't have a wedding ring between us.

It's not the first time I've noticed that.

Look, it's Ashley in red, just like in Gone with the Wind.

Isn't it beautiful?

Gorgeous.

Ladies, would you like to contribute?

The purses that Mr. Roark gave us. Maybe there's something in there.

Is this all right?

A magnificent gift.

A magnificent gift!

Madam, you must forgive me.

I seem to have forgotten your name.

Oh, uh, it's Magnolia.

Magnolia Blossom.

Magnolia.

The Confederate Angel of Mercy, I should have known.

Madam, this house is honored to welcome you.

Thank you, sir.

General Lee has stated that you were worth an entire brigade to the Army of

Northern Virginia.

General Sherman promised to jail you for the entire war.

Be careful, kid.

Miss Magnolia, you must promise me the first dance at the cotillion, please.

I'm sorry, Lieutenant.

Lady promised that dance to me.

And yours to me, Howell.

You ladies know Captain Rawlins and Captain Hampstead?

Ma 'am?

Why don't we step inside? It's much cooler.

It's a grand day for Six Oaks.

Three heroes of our cause under our roof.

And each one under that devil Sherman sentence of death.

Right back through the lines to General Sherman's headquarters.

Tell him our man was right.

Fire and catch a southern dandy down there at Six Oaks.

Among them are Rawlins and Hampstead.

Yes, sir.

No more grape.

No more mango.

They give me bellyache.

Louie Owee is ready to hear your problems.

Oh,

wise Nui.

I say this goat belongs to me because I found it wandering in my garden.

No, the goat belongs to me. I can't help it if it went for a walk and wandered

over there.

Hear the judgment of Nui, oh wee.

Where is your wife?

She is visiting his wife in his garden.

You mean she just wandered around to visit?

Yes. Well, in that case, you keep the goat and he can keep your wife.

Next case.

A goat for a wife? That's not a fair trade.

Then, give him back his goat.

Next case.

It is my turn, Nui Owee.

I, Kona, ask you to sanction my marriage to Luana.

Well, it's okay with me.

What about Luana?

Luana, do you want to marry her?

What's in them?

What's wrong?

Did I say something wrong?

I only asked if you want to marry him.

You wish my opinion, Louis -Henri?

That's why I asked.

No.

I do not wish to marry him.

Well, in that case, you don't have to.

You have taken

Luana from me.

But you and she must remember that gods rise and fall.

And when they fall, they are but men.

And men may die.

What a sad head.

Nui, oh, beware of him. He's deadly dangerous.

Now he hates you.

Don't worry.

God, we don't scare anything.

Hey, who wants to dance?

Mr. O 'Grady called you captain.

Why aren't you in uniform?

Oh, I'm just a sailor, ma 'am.

I know.

A blockade room.

You take Cotton to England and bring back guns.

Make money on both trips.

Well, I'm flattered you've heard of me.

Actually, you remind me very much of somebody I've read about and seen many

times.

Do I detect that, uh...

You're in love with a gentleman?

I don't know if he's a gentleman.

I love the time.

It's nothing that couldn't be transferred.

To me, possibly.

Magnolia, I don't know why I'm so attracted to you, but I thought we were

to meet.

Love.

You'd love my home.

It's very beautiful and peaceful there.

I miss it very much.

I know.

And at the end of your face is a grand stairway.

Oak. Very old and polished.

And it fans out at both sides of the tower.

Well, you've been there, then.

Just guessing.

I'd like to show it to you.

I think she'd fit in very well with my home.

Shall we have a glass of punch on the terrace?

I love him.

I think I love

you.

I think I love you, too.

Excuse me. I must talk to my cousin. I'll only be a minute.

I'm in love.

I think we've both got it pretty bad.

Let's not change places.

You stay as Magnolia and have Rollins, and I'll stay as Melody and have Ashley.

Uh, Hampstead.

We've got a deal.

Amsterdam, the blue gullies are outside.

I think that Hampstead got away.

Don't worry about it, Captain.

You've still got the biggest catch.

Magnolia Blossoms.

And she's right here in this room.

Which one of you ladies is the notorious Magnolia Blossoms?

I am. No, I am. No, I am. I am.

I am.

No, I am.

Lady.

Wait, please.

Wonderful news, Holy One. A huge school of fish has been sighted off the reef.

Good fishing has returned, thanks to Nui Owee.

Fish!

You have heard Nui Owee?

Your bounty has been returned to us.

I and my people thank you.

Don't mention it.

Nui Owee has delivered the fish to his people.

And now, as it is foretold in ancient legends, he will deliver the catch

into our hands and drive away the hungry sharks that are attacking already.

Go quickly, Norway.

Fly over the reef and drive the sharks from the fish which were meant for us.

Fly! Fly!

He has mocked us by bringing us fish, which we must battle the sharks to keep.

To the stockade with him, and let us tend to our fishing.

As I said, little one, when gods fall, there but men, and men may die.

To the stockade!

Any regrets?

For having the best time of my life? No way.

Yeah, me either.

Weren't they the prettiest things you ever saw?

Gorgeous.

And we'll never see them again.

We're from General Thurman's headquarters.

We want to see the prisoners.

Look, it's them.

Why'd y 'all come back?

For you, of course.

You think we'd leave you after what you did for us?

Came to get you out of here.

Look, we can continue this better at my home.

Act like you're prisoners and we're taking you to General Sherman's

headquarters. Open up, trooper!

Union uniforms, gentlemen.

That makes you spies.

The penalty for that's the firing squad.

You may say goodbye to the ladies if you wish.

This isn't the way it's supposed to end.

This way, gentlemen.

That will all do.

Gunpowder.

We've got to do something.

I love it.

Ladies, you must come with me now.

Oh, no, Mr. Rourke, please. Not yet, not yet.

I'm sorry your fantasy is over.

I think you'd better go with this gentleman.

I'm sure he knows what's best.

Without you, what'll happen to me?

Frankly, my dear, I... I very much give it to him.

Rourke, do they get away?

Only time will tell.

What is it?

The fishermen are returning.

If we hurry, there's still some time.

I've hidden a boat in the lagoon, and the other women of the village have

me. When you allowed the Wana to speak her heart and to refuse Kona, you gave

courage to all women of the island.

We wish to repay you for that now.

Yes, we will not be dictated to by men from this day forward.

A hurry.

Paddle up the river. That is another way to leave our island.

Thank you.

Bye -bye.

Goodbye.

Thank you.

Never get away.

Long, even strokes.

Long, even strokes. Long,

even strokes.

Long, even strokes.

Thank you.

Well, ladies, was your fantasy satisfactory?

Only partially, Mr. Rowland.

Oh? It ended too soon, but that wasn't your problem.

I'm sorry if you're going to be uncomfortable in the plane, but we have

more important guests.

Yes, several other fantasizers will be returning with you.

That's okay.

You? Yep.

You see, my mother was always a real nut about Gone with the Wind. And by the

time I was eight, she kept telling me that I looked like Red Butler.

And I heard they looked like Ashley for so long that we had to live it just

once. Of course.

Thank you, Mr. Ward. Oh, you're very welcome.

Thank you. It's been a pleasure. Goodbye.

Bye -bye. Bye -bye.

Well, my friend, I hope you're not too disappointed that your reign as a love

god was rather brief.

Well, I'm not disappointed at all. As a matter of fact, I think I'm much more

mature now, after my fantasy.

More mature?

You?

Definitely.

Before I was new here, the only thing I thought was wild girls, wild parties.

No.

Well, now I'm into a much serious hobby.

Oh?

Stamp collecting.

Well, stamp collecting offers many educational possibilities, yes.

And I'm going to take full advantage of it.

Good.

Please, Mr. Tattoo, will you come teach me now?

Teach you what, Aurelia?

To play a great new game Tattoo told me about. It's called Post Office.