All language subtitles for family_affair_s02e30_family_portrait

The jeep's ready any time you are, Bill.

Okay.

Well, no matter how well you pack,
there's always one shoe left.

Where do you go from here?

Well, it's either going to be India or
Iran, but I'm going home for a while.

Yeah, I'll miss this picture.

Must be pretty rough being away from
them so long.

Yeah.

Nice to know they're back there waiting.

You're forgetting Toothy. Huh? Oh, yeah.

I recall a headmaster with the same
insincere smile, son.

Uncle Bill, did Tootsie really try to
eat you?

Well, he had me on his menu, but I just
wouldn't cooperate with him.

I wish you wouldn't go to those
dangerous places.

Well, Sissy, Uncle Bill has to go where
his work is.

That's right.

Hey.

You don't look like yourself. You look
kind of different.

She looks the same to me.

Me, too.

Yeah, Matt.

Oh, it's your hair.

You changed the way you've been doing
your hair.

I haven't worn my hair like that for
ages.

You were away two months, son.

Do I look any different?

Not so I can notice.

I got a new tooth.

Roger lost four teeth in one day.

Four? Who's Roger?

You know, my best friend.

I thought Pete was your best friend.

Pete moved away a long time ago.

He was still here when Buffy and me had
the mumps.

The mumps? I didn't know they had the
mumps.

Oh, yes, sir, we took it in our stride.

Pete moved right after Mr. French took
us to the doubleheader.

That sounds like fun.

Oh, it was.

The weekend in the Berkshires was the
wildest, though.

I bet that bull's still waiting for you,
Mr. French.

This was our first and only appearance
as a matador, sir. We were resting on

laurels. Oh, you see, we were dining al
fresco in a meadow, and this bull

decided to join us.

French took the white and red tablecloth
and led him away.

You should have seen him, Uncle Bill.

I wish I had.

Well, I better get on with my homework.

Me too.

We'll be all done with our homework so
you can read chapter four, Mr. French.

Yeah.

What's chapter four?

Yes, sir. Winnie the Pooh.

Well,

they all look fine. You did a good job,
French.

Thank you, sir. We had to improvise, but
we've done our best, I think, sir.

A lot can happen in two months.

Especially with children of the twins'
age, sir. They're growing up. Yeah, I

see that.

Oh, well, if you'll excuse me, sir, I'll
get these things unpacked. Oh, is there

anything special you wish done with your
trophies, sir?

Oh, put them... I don't know. I'll think
of something.

Sure, I'll go to Brazil.

You think I can handle the job?

I wouldn't ask you if I didn't think you
could handle it.

Before you went to Nigeria, you said
this Brazilian dam was one job you had

start yourself.

Well, I changed my mind.

What happened in Nigeria?

Nothing. It's what happened here to my
kids.

But what did happen?

Well, things changed in two months.
They've been growing up and I haven't

around to help.

So from now on, somebody else can go to
Nigeria and Brazil and Iran and all

these places. I'm going to stay here
with my kids.

You? A full -time father?

Right. I'm going to spend evenings and
weekends with them.

And I'm not going to settle for a
picture that doesn't even look like them

anymore.

It's a big change.

But you'll probably make it work.

Yeah. Can you leave tonight?

Yeah, sure.

Let me know when you get the job
underway again.

Good luck with the project.

Good luck with yours.

You mean you're never going away again,
Uncle Bill?

Nope. Well, I might have to go for a day
or two, but there's not going to be any

more of this being gone for five and six
months.

Who'll do your work for you, Uncle Bill?

Well, somebody who hasn't got three good
reasons to stay home, that's who.

It's going to be great having you here
all the time.

We're going to plan a whole lot of
things we can do together, too.

Uncle Bill, now that you're staying
home, can me and Mrs. Beasley go to the

Statue of Liberty?

She's very patriotic.

And shall we go to the big swamp?

Roger says it's in some place called New
Jersey.

Sure. We'll take Toothy along, too.
He'll fit right in there.

I'll go make a list of places you can
take us, Uncle Bill. Me, too.

Oh,

it should ease things for you.

We haven't felt unduly pressured, sir.

Oh, come on. Let's face it, French. I
took responsibility for those three

and you've been doing the job.

Sir, I think you grossly underestimate
what you've been able to do in spite of

your travels.

I haven't given them any real family
life.

But I will.

Sir, well, if you'll excuse me, sir, I
have dinner to attend to.

Sure, sure.

You've been on the subway lots of times.

Yeah, but we want to ride all day.

May we?

Okay. Hey, this is quite a book he's
reading you.

Mr. French says poo is basic.

Uncle Bill, now that you're going to be
home a lot, will you read Winnie the

Pooh to us, too?

Sure. Come on.

One day... Ah, chapter five in which
Piglet meets a heffalump.

One day when Christopher Robin and
Winnie the Pooh and Piglet were all

together, Christopher Robin finished a
mouthful he was eating and he said

carelessly, Ah, I saw a half -lump
today, Piglet.

What was it doing, asked Piglet. Oh,
just slumping along, said Christopher

Robin. I don't think it saw me.

I saw one once, said Piglet. At least I
think I did, he said.

Now, kids, I want you to meet a good
friend of mine. This is Miss Moran.

Hi. That's Sissy.

Hi. And Buffy.

Hello. This is Mrs. Beasley.

She's my friend.

I'm very happy to meet you both.

And that's Jody.

I take hands, but I got a splinter.

Splinter? Let me see.

There. No, I think that's chocolate. Oh.

There.

I'm kind of good at this. In fact, I'm
sort of a splinter specialist.

I have three young nephews.

Would you like to let me try and take it
out?

Okay, well, I'll need a sterilized
needle and some tweezers. Just a minute.

Buffy, turn around.

That's the dearest dress.

Mrs. Beesley picked it out.

You know, I have one very much like
that, but I found the lines were better

without the belt.

You like this?

Mm -hmm.

It does look better.

I think so, too.

Here you go.

Thanks. See?

Tweezers?

Come over here, my friend. Let me sit
down.

Now, Jody, I know you're going to be
very brave, but why not, just for fun,

before I start, say out three times as
loud as you can,

louder than that.

Ouch!

There's your splinter.

I didn't even feel a thing.

I told you I was a splinter specialist.

Sissy, where'd you get your hair done?

Oh, I did it myself.

Oh, uh, dinner may be served whenever
you're ready, son. Okay, let's give him

another minute to get acquainted.

You really seem to like her. I don't
know why I didn't bring her before.

She has a very natural way with
children, sir.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Bill, these poor underprivileged
children haven't been to a drive -in

since you were away.

Will you please take us to one, Uncle
Bill?

Please? Okay, we'll hunt up a genuine
drive -in if we have to go all the way

Yonkers. And you said that we can go on
a picnic, too. Absolutely.

Picnics are super for splinters.

French, we can pack up one of those big
lunch.

Very good, sir. Oh, no, let me pack it
up.

French can have a holiday.

Okay, you heard the lady.

Yes, sir.

I did.

Well, anybody else in this family
starving besides me? I am. I am, too.

Come on.

Come on, you kids. You're going to be
late.

Oh, uh, excuse me, sir, but if you're
pressed for time, I'd be happy to take

twins to school. Oh, no, no. It's right
in the way of the office.

You know, I'm surprised how many fathers
take their kids to school.

I'll pick them up this afternoon, too.

But will you be leaving the office so
early, sir?

Oh, well, I have to today. I've got a
meeting with the school, uh, let's see,

vice principal.

I might have to be on the PTA committee.

Oh, but, sir, tonight is your dinner at
the Steak and Sirloin Society. I know, I

know, but I'm not going, so if anybody
calls, except for Miss Moran, just tell

them I'm tied up, okay?

Hey, you slowpokes, come on!

Yeah, I'm almost ready.

I'll go, Bill.

Oh, Mr. French, I won't be home right
after school today. I've got to pick up

typewriter. Fine. You're going to borrow
a typewriter?

No, I'm buying one. A second -hand
portable for only $30.

Well, it may be a third - or fourth
-hand, but it's still in good condition.

Do you need one?

Oh, I tell you, I've been using Susie's
and the ones in the school library for

all my term papers and themes.

Well, don't you think we should talk
this over?

Well, I'm paying for it out of my own
allowance, and I didn't want to bother

you.

Well, it's not a bother, honey. That's
what I'm here for, you know, to help you

make decisions.

Don't you think I should buy a
typewriter?

Oh, it's okay. You already made the
deal. But next time you've got a

make, let me on it, okay?

Okay. Bye.

Bye -bye. Bye.

Come on, you kids.

Okay.

Let's see.

Let's go.

Oh, excuse me, sir.

I'm oversight.

Jodie? Thank you, Mr. French.

Mrs. Beauty forgot to remind us.

Bye, Mr. French.

See you this afternoon.

Bye. Have a good day.

Just a minute, please.

Yes? Mr. Davis, there's a call from Mr.
Halsey in Brazil on one.

Okay, put him on.

Hi, Ward.

How's it going down there?

Well, we're getting set up, but it's
been kind of touch and go.

You got trouble?

Well, the locals don't like the idea of
a dam being built down here.

I know. They don't trust outsiders.

We may have some manpower problem.

Well, I gave you a scheduled call for a
minimum crew.

Bill, I got a level with you.

This job may be too big for me.

You want to call it quits?

No, not yet.

But it's a little rougher than I
imagined.

Look, I got a friend over in Brasilia
that can help out if you really get

for manpower.

Oh, good. Good. I'll let you know. Check
me the first of the week.

Call sooner if you need to. Take care of
yourself.

Excuse me, Mr. Davis. This is rather
urgent.

We need your signature on the form
letters.

Well, I guess I can cope with the
emergency.

Ready.

Hi.

Where's Mrs. Beasley?

She isn't coming. She doesn't like
picnics.

Oh, I see. Not the outdoor type.

Well, I promised her a tea party
tomorrow.

Here.

Eileen, do you think that you can help
me button this button?

Of course.

It'd have to be an octopus to reach
that.

There.

Well, there's a hardy -looking group of
pioneers.

All ready?

Yep. Sure.

I got my compass.

Oh, that's good. Yeah, I might need it
to find my way off the parkway.

What color tablecloth do we have, Miss
Moran?

Green. Why?

Oh, because the last time we went on a
picnic, Mr. French had to use a red and

white tablecloth to flag down a bull.

Well, let's hope for a colorblind bull
this time.

Why don't you start down with the kids?
I'll be right along. Just a minute.

We're on the way, French, so why don't
you relax and take it easy today.

Well, thank you, sir, but...

I feel I've already had much too much
free time as it is.

What do you mean?

Well, the situation in this household
has changed, sir.

How's it changed?

Well, sir, many of the services I was
able to perform are

no longer required.

You mean I've taken over?

Of course, I quite understand.

Look, French, the last thing in the
world I want to do is replace you.

All I'm trying to do is give the kids a
kind of life that an ordinary family

has.

I wonder, sir, if there's a place for me
in an ordinary family.

Look, they're waiting for me. We'll talk
about this later, okay? Now, don't

worry. We'll work something out.

Very good, sir.

gonna go for a walk.

I want to pick some flowers to take back
to Mrs. Beasley.

Oh, good. Mrs. Beasley will like that.

Oh, does Poison Ivy have three leaves or
five?

Um, five.

I thought it was three.

Wait a minute. I think you're right. Uh,
don't pick anything with three or five

leaves.

He does so.

He does not.

I should know. He's my Uncle Bill.

Hey,

hey, hey. What's all this?

He doesn't believe He used to go to
Africa and Mexico and build dams and

and fight crocodiles and lions and
things like that.

Oh, well, I used to do that.

What's he doing here?

Well, he doesn't do them anymore, but he
used to.

What's he do now?

Well, now I go to an office.

You know...

You're a very special guy to those kids.

Yeah, well, sometimes I don't think I'm
just quite right for them.

I know, and that's when you start trying
to make yourself over.

You noticed that.

Who hasn't?

You're working 24 hours a day trying to
be something you think is the ideal

father when there's no such animal.

I mean, what's ideal for Johnny Smith
isn't ideal for Jody Davis.

Look, you see, all I want is what's
right for them.

I know, my dear.

Then stop trying to be what you think
they want.

And start being yourself.

Michelle. Yeah.

Yeah, the one that Jody was talking
about. Remember him? The here today,

tomorrow, unpredictable one.

Bring him back.

You know, we all liked him. Just fine.

Thank you.

Oh,

I thought you'd gather these for Mrs.
Beasley.

I want you to have them.

Well, that's very kind of you, Buffy.

See my woolly worms?

Oh, yes, quite colorful.

Can I put them in the oven?

Oven? Yeah, if they keep warm, they're
supposed to turn into butterflies.

No oven, no. We'll work out something
suitable, but no oven.

Well, sir, it seems that the picnic was
highly successful.

It must have been. I'm good and tired.

Oh, by the way, sir, there's a cablegram
for you in the den.

Now, children, baths and bed in that
order.

Please, Mr. French, won't you read some
Winnie the Pooh to us first?

No, that is now Mr.

Davis's department.

No, no, no, French, I'm too tired to
even read my own name. Will you handle

for me, will you?

Very good, sir.

A brisk five pages, that's all.

Not no more.

Move over, Jody.

Now, let's see.

Lines written by a bear, a very little
brain.

On Monday, when the sun is hot, I wonder
to myself a lot.

Now, is it true or is it not that what
is which and which is what?

Say that again, Mr.

French.

Please, nobody makes it sound the way
you do.

On Monday, when the sun is hot, I wonder
to myself a lot.

Now, is it true or is it not that what
is which and which is what?

There's Bill Davis.

Listen, can you get me on a plane for
Rio Monday?

Right.

Thank you. Okay.

Uncle Bill. Yeah.

There's something that I wanted to talk
over with you.

Okay, sure.

Well, now that I have my typewriter,
Susie and I want to set up this... Well,

it's sort of a high school secretarial
service.

But I told her I'd talk it over with
you, and then I'll tell her Monday

Well, honey, you know what you can do
and you know what you want to do, so go

ahead and make up your mind.

Uncle Bill, you said that... Oh, I know,
and I said, yeah, well, never mind

about that. That wasn't me. That was
somebody else.

I trust your judgment, okay?

Okay.

Thank you.

On Wednesday, when the sky is blue and I
have nothing else to do, I sometimes

wonder if it's true that who is what and
what is who. Excuse me for interrupting

this literary session, but I have to
leave for Brazil on Monday.

Are you glad?

Well, I'm sort of glad, honey, because
I'll get to do what I know how to do,

I think that's best for everybody.

I'm going to miss you, though.

We'll miss you, too.

We'll be all right till you get back.

As long as Mr. French is here.

French, that problem we were discussing
this morning... Oh, forgotten, sir.

Okay. Well, read on.

Yes, sir.

On Thursday, when it starts to freeze
and hoarfrost twinkles on the trees, how

very readily one sees that these are
whose... Whose are these?