Original subtitles

Are you all packed?

Yes, sir, except for these last few items.

Sir, I've given the matter a great deal of thought.

Perhaps I shouldn't take my holiday just now.

Oh, of course you should. It's all settled.

But, sir, you may need me. French, I assure you we can look after ourselves

two weeks.

Yes, but, sir, you have important work to do.

Sissy's going to help me with the little kids.

Now, you've been planning this for a long time.

To be sure, sir.

I've dreamed of seeing your American West ever since my father told me of

meeting Buffalo Bill on his visit to London, sir.

Mr. French!

You better take these.

Oh, that's very kind of you, Jody, but I don't anticipate any need for a weapon.

But what if the Indians attack your stagecoach?

Well, unhappily, these days there are no more stagecoaches. I shall journey by

jet, then by train, omnibus, and hired motorcar.

Won't you see any cowboys?

Oh, I hope to see both cowboys and Indians, if only in the museums of the

West.

Gee, I wish I could go along to protect you.

Big, big.

Bang, bang. Watch it, watch it. You almost got me.

Come on, French, better get going.

Yes, sir.

Oh, this is my itinerary, sir.

If a sudden emergency should arise, I can return at a moment's notice. Oh,

going to be fine, French.

Have a good time, Mr. French.

We're going to miss you.

Yeah, Mr.

French.

Well, thank you.

Now I'll take my leave.

Oh, uh, Mr.

Davis, perhaps I should take just one week of my holiday now and the other at

later date, sir.

French, I just told you we're going to be fine now. Will you go on and enjoy

your vacation?

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

Goodbye, Mr. Davis. Goodbye, all.

the Indians and they'll be nice to you.

Watch out for the bad guys and don't get scattered.

Thank you. No.

Three letters for Uncle Bill and one postcard.

Postcards from Mr. French.

Oh, yeah? Where is he now? What did he say?

Did he fight any Indians?

No.

But he says that this is a picture of the Little Bighorn River.

See? That's where General Custer made his last stand when he fought the

And let's see. He says he's following his itinerary and he's right on

Does that mean he's having fun?

I don't know, honey, but he's not unhappy if he's right on schedule.

Fascinating.

Built entirely by the Indians with adobe made of sun -dried mud and straw.

Most fascinating.

Hello? Yeah, speaking.

Howard?

Oh, no.

Well, can't... Well, isn't there anybody else you can send?

Well, I don't see how I can leave right now. I got... Yeah, yeah.

Okay, go ahead.

Yeah, I'll see what I can work out. Right.

Hey, what's the matter, Uncle Bill?

Well, they've been having a lot of rain around that bridge we're putting up in

South America. Things undermine. I gotta get down there right away with French

gone and... Oh, well, that's no problem.

I'm old enough to take care of Buffy and Jody.

Oh, now, you've got to go to school.

Besides, the kids need an adult.

Well,

Buffy and I can stay upstairs with Gail.

And then Jody can stay with Richard.

That way we'd be in the same building. We'd practically be together.

Oh, come on, Uncle Bill.

Don't let us mess up your life again.

Besides, it might even be fun.

Well, I know why it wouldn't be all right.

Okay. I'll call Richard and Gail's parents now.

Here

are your

airline tickets.

You'll be met in Rio by a government representative, and we charted a plane

fly you into the backcountry, and there'll be a jeep standing by at the

strip to take you to the river.

Okay. I still wish I didn't have to leave those kids alone.

I'd feel a lot better if the communications weren't washed out down

got to check on them myself.

Please don't worry.

Look, Mr. French's schedule of his itinerary is so detailed, I can always

with him if there's any emergency.

Yeah.

Well, I guess I am acting like a mother hen.

Well, don't worry about your chicken and have a good trip.

Bye -bye. Bye.

Richard. Time to get up.

I don't feel like getting up. I'm so funny.

Your face looks funny, too.

It's all fat.

And

the

doctor hopes Jody won't get them, but...

He can't stay with Peter.

And he can't stay with us because there isn't room.

I don't know what to say.

If I didn't have two roommates, I'd take him myself.

I don't know what to do either. I can't reach Mr. Davis.

Perhaps Mr.

French could tell us. I know just where to reach him.

Mr. French, of course.

He'll come home and take care of Jody. He said he would.

Thanks a lot, Miss Lee. Bye.

Jody, don't you feel well?

I feel all right.

Well, what's the matter then?

I'm causing everybody a whole lot of trouble.

No, you're not.

Everything is working out fine.

I call Miss Lee, and she's calling Mr. French.

He'll come home and take care of you.

But that will spoil his vacation.

I'm sure he won't mind.

I don't want to spoil Mr.

French's vacation.

Why can't I go out and stay with him instead?

Well, hey, that's an idea.

Maybe you can.

I'll call Miss Lee.

Mr. French?

Yes, Miss?

Long distance.

Long distance? Thank you.

French here.

Miss Lee?

Mr.

Davis is in Brazil?

Well, then where are the children?

Jody exposed to the mumps?

Well, I shall return immediately.

What?

Yes, but what is the alternative?

Oh. You could send Master Jody to me.

Hmm. Oh, no, I'm sorry. I was just a bit startled. It's a splendid solution.

You'll be looked after properly, and at the same time, I may continue my

holiday.

Oh, yes, I shall meet him at the plane this evening. Rely upon me, Miss Lee.

Goodbye.

here on time.

So you are.

Thank you. Bye -bye.

Thank you.

Well, and did we have a pleasant journey?

It was real neat.

Everybody was real nice.

Excellent. And how are Miss Sissy and Miss Buffy?

They're fine.

Buffy gets to sleep on a cot.

Oh, how interesting.

What are we going to do first, Mr. French?

Well, first we'll get your luggage, then we'll return to the hotel and have a

good night's sleep.

And tomorrow we shall continue my itinerary. As I recall, we have

church, two museums, and a library.

Wasn't this a good breakfast, Mr. French?

Most enjoyable, Jody.

I'm all finished.

Oh, there's no rush. The museum doesn't open until 9 a .m.

Are you sure you want to go to the museum, Mr. French?

Oh, yes, Jody. It's a very famous museum.

See, it's the largest repository of Indian artifacts and relics in the

Southwest.

Oh, boy.

Then on to the old western library, even more enthralling.

Good.

Yes, well, on the other hand, I seem to remember my brochure mentioning

something about a ghost town nearby.

A ghost town?

Mm -hmm.

Now, I think we could see the museum later if we didn't dawdle too much.

Oh, I'm not toddling, Mr. French.

All I gotta do is get my gun.

Boy, this is me.

Boy, I'll get the bad guys right into town any minute.

Perhaps. You know, I'm quite sure that this village is exactly as Buffalo Bill

described it. I'm delighted we substituted it for the museum.

And look over there.

A real stagecoach.

A genuine vehicle of the Old West.

I'll drive, Mr. French. You be my passenger.

Be careful now, Jody.

So you're going to drive, very well.

What is the destination of our journey, drama?

I don't know what that means.

But where do you want to go?

Well, um... Dodge City?

Abilene?

No, no. I'm in the mood for something more unruly.

Tombstone, perhaps, eh?

I hear there's no law west of the Pecos, and the bad men are running tombstone.

Okay. All aboard for tombstone!

Giddyup!

Giddyup! Oh.

They didn't build these things for comfort, did they, Jody? Giddyup!

Now, now, now, be careful, Jody.

French, I don't think we should try to reach Tombstone.

There's too many Indians around here.

I hear that a million of them are on a warpath.

A million Indians?

In that case, we'd better prepare to defend the ladies.

Okay. Get ready for Indian attack.

Yes, sir.

Driver, from which direction do you surmise they will arrive?

That -a -way.

Heavens, we are under attack.

How do you do?

Hi. Did we scare you?

Maybe just a little. I was just ready to get the wagons in a big circle.

You're supposed to be somewhat surprised.

Are you real Indian?

Sure. Navajo.

That mode of dress, is that proper?

Definitely.

We're working as extras on a movie over in the desert.

A real movie?

Yep. We only rode over here to eat our lunch in the shade.

Mr. French, now we've met real live Indians.

Indeed we have.

Say, why don't you and the boys stay and have lunch with us?

Of course we can.

I'm Jim Tallfeather.

Hi, Mr.

Tallfeather. My name is Jody Davis.

This is a French.

How?

How?

Well, shall we?

The studio gives us boxed lunches when we go online. location.

Oh, the hotel fixed a special menu for us.

What do actors eat for lunch?

Tuna. What do tourists eat?

Tuna.

Say, why don't you folks come back to the set with us after you finish eating?

Oh, I'm sorry, but we have a museum to visit this afternoon.

You see, we've already lost one museum and a library.

I'm sure you understand, Jody, don't you?

Sure, Mr.

French. If you want to go to a museum, I'd rather go too.

On the other hand, you know, I think I might prefer to go to a movie set and

some real live Indians.

I'm sorry,

Buffy. Bye -bye.

Bye, Gale.

Bye.

What are we going to do?

Uncle Bill wouldn't...

call Miss Lee.

Oh, yeah.

Then she'll call Mr.

French, then we can go out with Jody.

No.

Now, we can't all pile in on his vacation.

But it's better than having Mr.

French come home.

Yeah. I guess it is.

Just like on TV.

I'm sorry we got back too late to go to your museum, Mr. French.

Never mind, Jody.

I'm sure we learned a great deal more about Indians from spending the

with our friend Mr. Tallfeather.

Yeah. Now we have a real live Indian for a friend.

Fancy that.

It would have impressed my father no end.

He was a great western buff, you see.

Mr. French.

Long distance.

Thank you.

Hello, French here.

Oh, Miss Lee.

Huh?

Move Buffy and Miss Sissy out, bag and baggage.

Oh, this is an emergency.

Master Jody and I will return immediately.

What? Send them out here, too?

Oh, really?

All right, of course, of course. Send them on. The more, the merrier, or some

such local expression.

Goodbye.

Sissy and Buffy!

Tomorrow?

What have I done?

Now if Uncle Bill came out here, we'd have the whole family.

Three children.

Now I'm a nanny of the Old West.

Hey, how are you doing?

Good afternoon, Miss Sidney. Buffy. Hi. I trust you had a pleasant trip.

It was real neat.

It was just great.

Oh, Mr. French.

This is Randy Stone.

Randy had the seat next to ours.

Randy, this is Mr. French and this is Jody.

How do you do, sir? Good afternoon.

Hi. We're ready to go someplace, Mr. French. Well, this afternoon I have

the viewing of an Indian ruins and burial ground.

It's next to my schedule, of course.

Uh, Mr. French, Randy lives here and he says there's a swinging discotheque in

town.

Swinging discotheque?

The grooviest.

That sounds good.

But barrel grounds would be nice.

And Indian rules.

Say, Mr. French.

Hmm.

Well, now I come to think of it, I always wanted to view a genuine Western

swinging discotheque.

Shall we go?

on the war pack.

Incredible.

See? Mr. French likes it too.

Gee, now my schedule mentioned one.

Yes, there's a very fine inn close by.

Mr. French, we can eat here.

Here?

Sir, the hamburgers are the greatest.

Wouldn't you like one?

With everything.

Mr. French, if it's all right with you, Randy can order for us.

French fries and everything.

French fries?

Hamburger?

That's your schedule.

Which I now abandon cheerfully. You may order mine with everything.

How was the Old West? Anything like Buffalo Bill told your father?

Well, I'm not quite sure, sir.

Well, we saw the grooviest discotheque in existence.

And a ghost tale.

And a doll show.

And Mr.

French and me met real -life Indians.

And Mr.

French took us everywhere we wanted.

And did everything we wanted.

It was just great.

Well, it sounds absolutely wonderful.

Um, listen.

I brought some presents for everybody.

It was from South America, and they're in there on your bed.

Oh, thank you, Uncle Bill.

Oh, boy.

Thanks. I love presents.

Well, discotheques and doll shows, huh?

Doesn't sound much like the old west.

Well, there were some last -minute changes to my schedules, huh?

I must have ruined your vacation.

Oh, I think not, sir.

To be exact, it was quite dreary before they arrived.

But from then on... Well, sir, it may not have been the Old West, but to quote

from Miss Sissy, it was a ball.