Original subtitles

I ran over three cats and eleven dogs on my way to work today.

And sixteen policemen chased a purple alligator with a flagpole.

And you should never drink water out of the Mississippi River on Friday.

You want another drink?

How about coming to the party?

What?

You haven't heard a single word I've said.

Sure I did. You said you were writing something about an alligator.

Bill, we've always had fun together.

And we've always managed to communicate.

Now, what's wrong?

Want to go somewhere and dance?

Oh, no. No, you'll probably end up dancing with the waiter.

We're going to sit right here.

But tell me what's on your mind.

The kids.

Well, like, what did they do?

It's not what they did. It's what I'm doing to them. No, I mean it's what city

life is doing to them.

And what's wrong with city life?

Everything.

Dirty air, everybody pushing and shoving, nobody listening.

Sir, you were speaking of the city I love.

Oh, it's all right for us, sure. I don't want to live anywhere else, but it's no

place to raise kids.

Well, a few of them managed to grow up here.

Sure, but how?

We live three blocks from a park, and the kids have to run an obstacle course

through trucks to get there.

That's all part of living.

Well, this is your town.

Something's got to be done for those kids before it's too late, that's all.

Hattie! Hattie!

Hattie!

Hattie!

Oh, Hattie! Hattie! Hey, that's my...

That's right.

How'd you get all wet?

Well, it's a funny thing about New York. When you walk around in the rain, you

get all wet.

Why didn't you ride home?

Jody, I think you better go do your homework.

Let's go, Jody. I think he's got another mood.

I have not got another mood.

I've got two wet feet and I've got a headache.

French!

Call me so crazy about homework.

Because he's a grown -up, and if they can't think of anything else, they tell

you to do your homework. Yeah.

I'll hang it in the kitchen.

I'll take that, Miss Sissy.

Well, sir, there's nothing quite so invigorating as a walk in the rain, eh,

I hate rain.

If there's anything I hate worse than rain, it's walking in the rain.

Oh, well, then, sir, may I suggest that you really should have taken a taxi?

cut it, it acquires the metallic flavor from the knife.

Why? I don't know, but it does.

Well, that's nothing. I haven't even got started yet.

It sure is a stinking day, ain't it?

What'd you say?

It sure is a stinking day, ain't it?

That's what I thought you said.

All this crummy rain.

Yeah. Say, where's Mr. French?

In the kitchen.

Tell him I'd like to see him, okay?

Okay. Hey, Jody. Yeah?

Stay in the kitchen there and watch the roast, all right?

Okay.

Uncle Bill?

Yeah? Is it all right if I don't bring Mrs. Beasley to the park anymore?

Don't Mrs. Beasley like the park?

Oh, she does, but it's too dangerous.

Pamela's mother said crossing the city streets is worth your life.

the way Jody's been talking lately?

Talking, sir?

Well, he just said, for example, quote, ain't sure it's a stinking day, ain't

it?

Unquote. Well, sir, it hasn't exactly been a... Oh, yes, I see what you mean,

sir. Oh, you... Or you think he picks up talk like that?

Oh, I don't know, sir. Perhaps from Scotty. They're quite friendly, you

Maybe I ought to say something to Scotty, huh?

Oh, well, beg your pardon, sir, but if I may be frank, you know, Scott is a,

well, he's a very nice chap, sir, and, well, salt of the earth and all that,

know. Oh, his language may be a little earthy, but, well, that's typical of

life.

And, well, I would say that Jody is exposed to far less desirable elements

playing in the park or going to school.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Stinking day.

Crummy rain.

Uncle Bill?

What's on your mind?

Uncle Bill, how old do you think a girl should be before she gets engaged?

And before I answer that, I want to tell you that I don't think much of that box

boy at the market.

Uncle Bill, you don't understand.

Danny isn't a regular box boy.

He's only working there until he gets a break with the record company.

Oh.

Besides, what do you have against box boys?

I've got nothing against box boys in general. Just this particular one. He

like a refugee from the House of David.

The what?

Never mind. You're too young.

Too young to be engaged.

I'm almost 16.

I don't care if you're 116. You're too young to be engaged to that walking

fright wig.

Well, Juliet was only 14 in Romeo and Juliet.

And Romeo had a haircut.

Turn the gas.

The kids are enjoying it already.

Oh, this is the only place to bring up kids.

Good, clean air.

Very comfortable house, French.

Yes, sir. The Duke of Glenmore had just such a country house in Kent for the

weekend, sir.

See, the whole family's enjoying it.

Take a good big breath, French.

Smell that. That's clean air.

Yes, sir. I've noticed it.

Yeah. No smog, no soot.

Don't get air like that in the city.

Look at those flowers.

Yes, sir. Somewhat like having one's own florist shop, isn't it?

You hear those birds singing?

Isn't that beautiful?

Down in the city, all looking birds can do is cough.

Uncle Bill!

Hi, hi. Are you straight?

Oh, it's marvelous.

This is Jim Rogers.

Hello, Jim. How do you do, sir?

Is it okay if we take a little walk?

Sure, sure. Go on. We'll be here a while. Okay. I won't keep her too long,

Let's go.

Bye -bye. Bye.

That's a pretty decent haircut.

A local boy?

Bridgeport.

Oh, his grandfather lives just down the road.

The boy is here all the time.

I bet he doesn't play guitar either.

Well, he'll stand still, Jody. If he doesn't, I'll get you one that does,

Oh, boy.

Buffy, I'm going to get my own duck.

Uncle Bill, if

Jody's going to get his own duck, can I have my own tree?

Well, sure you can, honey. Now, where else could a kid have her own tree, huh?

I would think on our terrace at home, sir.

Call that a tree.

Sure, honey, we'll do better than that. Mr. Pendergast, let's go in and talk

some business.

Yes, sir.

Well, it seems the matter is settled.

What matter, Mr.

French?

Well, I believe that the Davis entourage is about to join the genus Rusticus

Americanus.

What does that mean?

Well, it means that this...

Bird Sanctuary is about to be our new home.

It is?

Really? You mean we don't get to live in our old house anymore?

Not ever?

Not ever.

I feel that moving day is upon us.

Here we go again.

I'm not going to get to blow Scotty's whistle anymore.

And on Miss Gertrude's funeral.

Well, what's the matter with you two?

We don't want to live in the country.

All those birds singing.

Yeah, and the air smells funny out there.

Well, it's all right to complain to me.

But don't you dare say it to Uncle Bill.

Why not?

Look, in our whole life, no one has ever been as kind to us as Uncle Bill,

right? Right.

Well, without him to love us and take care of us, well, we'd be living all

the place.

We wouldn't even be a family.

Why can't we be a family right here?

Because Uncle Bill wants to live in the country.

won't be moving for a while.

Uncle Bill has plans to make a lot of alterations first.

But I'll never have a friend like Scotty. And I'll never have another

like Miss Turner.

She's my bestest and wonderfulest teacher in the whole world.

Buffy, Jody, it isn't going to be easy.

I know that.

It's going to be very lonely.

to think of Uncle Bill.

Now, if moving to Connecticut will make him happy, then we have no right to be

selfish.

Okay, Susie.

Okay.

Now,

right here. See, I want to take out that wall and then change the combined areas

into one big playroom.

That's going to run out of money.

Boy, that's not a bearing wall, I checked it.

I know, but there's a ton of patching, and that's expensive. It takes twice as

much time.

Oh.

Okay, well, look, Mr. Burgess, as long as we're doing it, let's do it right. I

want to turn that place into a paradise for kids, and I really don't care how

much it costs.

All right, Mr. Davis, I'll work up some figures and give you an answer.

Hi, kids.

Hi. This is Mr. Burgess.

Hello, hi, how are you? Mr. Burgess is going to do all the remodeling work on

our house and country for you.

Oh, that's what... Wonderful, Uncle Bill.

Isn't it, kids?

It sure is. We're going to be very happy.

Yeah, we'll love living in the country.

All those trees and birds, we can hardly wait to move.

Say, is there any reason why we couldn't live in the house while you're doing

the work? Not if you don't mind the mess.

Okay. Kids, we won't wait. We'll move Friday.

But you don't have to go all the way to Connecticut with them.

Stay here.

We could get married.

Oh, Danny, you're talking silly.

I'm only 16.

So? My grandmother got married when she was 15.

But we're not even finished with high school.

My grandmother wasn't even finished with grade school.

How about it, huh, sissy?

Danny, even if we were old enough, what would we live on?

I got a steady job already, right?

Well, you could get a steady job and we'd have a real swing in time.

No sale, huh?

Oh, Danny, I'll really miss you. I really will.

Right now, the most important thing in my whole life is my family.

Uncle Bill and the kids.

If they want to move to Timbuktu, well, that's where I'll be.

Hi, Buffy.

Hi. I brought these back on account of tomorrow we're moving to Connecticut.

Where's Connecticut?

past 63rd Street?

It's past 65th.

How am I going to have Gertrude's funeral without you?

You're all the pallbearers.

I know. I'm awful sorry her head got mashed.

I am, too.

Goodbye, Buffy.

Goodbye, Pamela.

Well, for that matter, I might prefer to live in Afghanistan.

Connecticut isn't bad, Mr. French.

Well, I'm beginning to look forward to the whole miserable adventure with Miss

Givings.

Have you considered giving Mr. Davis your notice?

I beg your pardon?

Well, there are other positions open to a man of your talents, Mr. French.

My dear Miss Fabersham, if a gentleman's gentleman boasts nothing else, it is a

full measure of loyalty.

Mr. Davis and the children are my responsibility, and I shall serve them

travel to the farthest corners of the earth.

It's a rather fitting description of rural Connecticut.

You know, Jody, when I was a kid, my old man gave me some pretty good advice.

How old were you?

Oh, I was about your age.

He said to me, Scotty, he said...

If you think things is tough now, wait till you grow up. That's when they

get tough.

That's why you gotta be kind to the older folks like your uncle. They got it

tough.

Anyway, Uncle Bill's gonna be happy.

He loves Connecticut.

You see?

So it ain't a total loss.

And don't be so serious. Some people live very comfortable in the country.

Like who?

I don't know, but that's what I hear.

Scotty, can I blow your whistle one more time?

Jody, a going -away present from me to you.

Honest? Sure, I got a million of them.

Oh, Scotty.

Go ahead, blow it.

But easy. We don't want to call no cabs crashing into the lobby.

Well, I guess that's it.

I'll get the car waiting downstairs. We'll drive in front of the moving van.

You check with the newsboy and the postman and all that? Yes, sir. It's all

taken care of.

Okay. Well, next stop, Connecticut.

Very well, sir. In that case, I shall summon the children.

No, no, no. I'll do it. I'll do it. I want to check and be sure they don't

anything behind. Now, this has got to be a clean break with New York City.

I guess that's everything.

Did you clean out your closet, Jody?

Mr. French did.

I knew it wouldn't last.

Yeah. A guy gets to thinking he's home for good.

But Zowie, he's on his way again.

Well, we were here pretty long.

Just be grateful for that.

Is it time to go?

Boy, I can hardly wait to get to Connecticut and chase those ducks.

Yeah, and swing in my own tree. Yippee, let's go.

I can't wait to see Jim Rogers again. He has such a nice haircut.

Yeah, what about that nice clean country air, huh? Yeah.

Yeah, a guy can breathe.

And all those birds have no traffic.

And you'd rather stay right here.

And the water's so pure and you can use as much as you want. How soon do we

leave?

We don't.

We don't?

What do you mean?

I mean we'd rather stay right here and breathe the dirty air and fight the

traffic and get shoved off the sidewalk.

Oh, uh, the movers are ready packed, sir. I'm willing to go.

Good. Tell them to bring everything back.

Uncle Bill, you mean we're not going?

Yep. Now, will you please tell me what made you change your minds about living

in the country?

Well, we haven't changed our minds at all.

Right. We never wanted to move in the first place.

Right.

Then why didn't you tell me?

We thought that you wanted to move.

Okay. Well, I still don't understand why you want to live in New York with all

the noise and the confusion and the dirt and everything.

Well, it isn't New York, Uncle Bill.

This is the first real home we've ever had as a family.

Well, when we're here, we feel all warm and safe and in love.

There's a feeling of security, I guess.

I don't know how to explain it.

No, you explain it pretty good.

I would have expressed the identical sentiments, sir, but, um, well, in

different words, perhaps.

Oh, Uncle Bill.

Well, don't just stand there. Take off your coats and things. We're home.

Jackie! Jackie!

Jackie!

French!

Uncle Bill?

Uncle Bill, you know what?

I got a letter from Jim Rogers today, and he's going to come to New York to

live.

Good evening, sir.

Hi. Hey, you better take these.

Couldn't get a cab in New York.

All right, children, now let's get washed and ready for dinner. Okay, let's

You know what? One of these days I'm going to get 200.

Uncle Bill, I'm so happy.

You are?

Why? Oh, no reason, just happy.

Oh,

dinner will be ready in ten minutes, sir. Okay.

French? Yes, sir?

It's a beautiful day.