Original subtitles

Uh -huh.

Why don't they make cars smaller?

Oh, they do, Nicholas. The trend now is towards the more compact car.

I mean small, so I can drive.

They make bikes for smaller people, and clothes, and that's in school.

Why not cars?

Well, it's not as simple as all that.

Tommy's taking that course in school, huh?

Drive his education?

Yeah, and when he gets his license, I'll be the only one in the family who can't

drive. It has nothing to do with size. It's a question of age.

Oh, boy, here it comes again. When I get older, when I get older, boy, being

nine really, really stinks, you know? I can't have any fun. I can't drive. I

can't spend the night at Thompson Landing.

Boy, I can't even see R -rated movies.

R -rated movies?

Why would you want to see an R -rated movie?

To find out what I'm missing.

You're missing that spot over there.

There's a magic in the early morning we found

When the sunrise smiles on everything

around It's a portrait of

the happiness that we feel and always will

We spend our days like bright and shiny new dimes

If we're ever puzzled by the changing

times There's a plate of homemade

wishes On the kitchen window sill

And eight is enough to fill our

Does it hurt that much, Nicholas?

Oh, shucks, I'm sorry.

But that'll help remind you to wear pads or a helmet when you go skateboarding.

What do you think, Doc?

A bandage or no?

Absolutely. Recommended as part of the treatment.

Clinical requirements versus patient preference.

Clinical what versus who?

Ask the patient.

Patient, you'd much rather have a bandage, wouldn't you?

Arrest my case.

Yeah. I rest my case. I'm not familiar with that medical term.

Oh, it's a new course just offered called malpractice insurance.

Oh, very good.

And how are your other courses? The non -legal ones?

Pick one.

Let's see.

Biochemistry. That was always my hardest.

Oh, that was my favorite. Come on in. I mean, everything's clear.

Everything works. It's interesting.

Well, we must be talking about different biochemistries.

Who's your instructor?

Dr. Ng.

Gosh.

Fantastic. Dr.

Ng? I don't think I know him.

He sounds Chinese.

She is.

You know, she's the only female instructor I have this year.

Dr. Max, how come?

Well, for one thing, there are fewer... Why is it that male doctors just hate

female med students?

Oh, wait. I'm not sure that's true.

Histology.

Dr. Raffleson.

He calls us all men or guys.

Then we have cardiovascular.

Dr. Donahoe.

No, wait a minute.

Anatomy. Dr.

Frankman. King of the chauvinists.

Do you want to know what he said to us one time?

He said that if God had wanted women to be doctors, well, then he would have

made Hippocrates a female.

That's pretty good.

Not if you happen to be a woman.

Aw, come on, Nance. There must be something you need. How about the

Are your books due?

What books?

Oh, I forgot. You don't read.

Dr.

Maxwell! Dr. Maxwell!

Do you need somebody to drive around on your house calls?

House calls?

Tell me.

If God had wanted doctors to make house calls, he would not have invented

hospitals. What about the hospital?

Or the drugstore?

How about the golf course?

Driver's ed.

Yeah, and I need lots of practice.

I wouldn't stress that too heavily.

You might discourage a potential customer.

How about you, Tom?

I mean, who better than the old man to pass along the torch, right?

Oh, yeah, well, I guess so, yeah.

Well, hey, it's not that big a deal. Sometimes at school we get... Hey, now,

I'll get the books, you get the keys. Hi, Dad. Hi, Dr. Max.

Don't take all day, huh?

Hi, Dr. Max. Hi, Dad.

Hey, can we use the car? Elizabeth and I have to go to the library.

You have to go to the library?

Yeah, I gotta get some books for a term paper.

All right, you, the mad driver.

Oh, what do you say, Dad? I'll give Tommy some practice.

Okay.

I'll be out in the car.

Well, I certainly hope he drives better than he catches.

Barely. Elizabeth!

Hey, see you around, Dr. Max. Thanks, Dad.

Listen, I'm sorry if I started something with the driving, but I didn't mean to

embarrass you. Oh, no, no, it's no big thing, Max. It's just about a year ago I

tried to tutor Tommy in English. It was a disaster. I swore I would never make

that mistake again.

It's a family thing.

Around this place, what other kind of thing is there?

Okay.

And the bird.

Okay.

Driving permit?

Yeah, right.

I'll be right back.

Okay, okay, now get down quick. Do what, Tommy? Get down quick.

Turn the phone on.

Come on, there's some of the guys standing up in front of Hudson. Say

So you're my sisters, what will they say? Maybe they'll say hi.

Come on, you guys are trying to make me look like a nerd. Now get down.

Eating up in my room while I study. That's the third time this week. It's

becoming a habit, a bad habit.

But, Dad, it's the best time.

I mean, you guys are all down here making noise. Why isn't it quiet

Is that how going to medical school is? Just studying? Why don't you have fun?

Yes. You know, you're setting a bad example for all of us. It's nothing but

study, study, study.

Don't let me know why I stay upstairs.

Do you know what you have to be to get into medical school? A doctor.

The top 10 % of your class.

Let's hear it for the top 10!

Look,

I am trying to keep up with the top graduates from all over this state.

The best.

And in addition to that, I happen to be a woman. So it's not just keep up. I

have to be better.

You people are much too dense and insensitive to understand anything.

Excuse me.

I don't think she's having fun.

Abby,

I've got to do something.

Like what, apart from helping her with her homework?

Look, if there was only a way we could get her a place by herself near the med

school. So is mine.

That's easy for you to say.

She does have an excess of roommates around here.

Mm -hmm.

She's running in a tough league. I mean, these kids are as bright as she is.

Some are a whole lot brighter.

Yeah, I know. I hope she can handle it.

Well, she's the one who has to handle it, Tom. There's no way you can do it

her. I know.

But it still hurts.

You wouldn't be a father if it didn't?

You noticed, huh?

Oh, I noticed, all right. In fact, I say the entire histology lab noticed.

You know, at one point, Morty was offering three to two that Dr. Ralphson

throw you out on your gluteus maximus. You know something?

I am so tired of that man asking deliberately complicated and impossible

questions than coming up with this ladies' first gag.

Well, lucky you knew the answer.

Tell me.

Not like, uh... Anatomy?

Don't mention the word.

I have an appointment with Dr. Frankman this afternoon.

Lucky you.

I tell you, between that course and good old Dr.

Frankmanstein, I am going out of my tree.

How come you're not having any trouble with that class?

Hey, I'm black. I'm not a female.

See, Frankman's not a biggie. He just doesn't like women trying to be doctors.

He doesn't care what color they are.

No, I meant the course. How come it doesn't give you any trouble?

Are you kidding me? You know that everything gives me trouble.

I'm just used to it. Now, see, with you, you've always had it easy, right?

Yeah, I guess.

Until recently.

Until very recently.

Boy, I wonder what's the matter with her.

I don't know. Must be some guy.

Guy? You kidding?

Oh, Mary'd never let a guy interfere with med school. Well, she'll never get

married like this.

I mean, if there's one thing that scares off a guy, it's... A studious woman.

Oh, boy.

Men aren't everything, you know.

I suppose not.

But they sure are something.

Hey, I'm glad I found you. You're just the two I wanted to talk to. I want you

to do me a favor. I'll just get my scarf.

How am I going to get my license if I never get to practice?

It's just around the block.

Let me see it.

Ten minutes isn't a life...

You said you wanted to see me. Miss Bradford, as a courtesy, I warn all

who are approaching midterm with a below -passing grade.

At the moment, you are failing my course.

Yes, I know. Oh, you do?

Are you also aware that failure to pass anatomy means

repeating the entire...

First year of medical school.

Yes, I'm aware of that fact.

Good. Now, if through some Herculean effort you manage to turn in a decent

midterm, now we're talking at least about a B, then you should be able to

this course.

Thank you, Dr. Frankman. I'll try my best.

Miss Bradford, I am, I believe the phrase is, somewhat old -fashioned.

Yes, I'm very aware of that fact, doctor.

Good. Then you must also be aware that of all the professions or callings, I

hold medicine to be special. It requires great dedication and should never be

approached frivolously.

Frivolous? Is that what you think I'm being frivolous? Let me finish.

Women, because of their nature, their physiology, cannot give that dedication.

Excuse me, Dr. Franklin.

But women, by their physiology, are stronger than men. They live longer.

much more resistant to disease. They also have more babies than men.

Miss Bradford, if you're really that interested in a career in medicine, I

suggest you consider becoming a nurse.

A nurse? Yes, a nurse.

I think you should consider it.

Nurses are very useful to doctors.

Good day, Miss Bradford.

Anyway, so then, Mr. Tobin, the acting teacher, he says, no, I want you to go

back and come through that door as the character. The emotions ripping from

fingers. She goes, but Mr. Tobin, but Mr. Tobin. No buts.

So anyway, Gloria goes back there, and we waited for her, and we waited for

And then, finally... What

was that all about?

That's Gloria coming through the door with her emotions dripping from her

fingers. Hi, Gloria.

Oh, no, it's not Gloria. It's old Smiling Mary.

I am not all right.

That kindly old sexist Dr.

Frankenstein has found a surefire way to keep the woman doctor population down.

I know, he must be killing off the woman students, right?

More or less. He's flunking me in anatomy.

Oh, I don't believe it.

Well, you will when you get the written notice.

No, no, I mean, I believe that you're getting a failing grade, but...

Of all the kids, Mary, you've never had any trouble with any course ever.

Yeah, really.

Well, I guess the odds finally got up with me, didn't they? Come on, what's

problem?

Oh, Dad, it's a bunch of problems.

Med school is hard enough.

But for a woman, it's just that much more difficult.

I mean, you're either patronized or discriminated against.

Either way, you...

He began to feel isolated, alone.

Mary, you're not alone.

Hey, one thing about us Bradfords, we always are there when you need us,

Right.

And when you don't need us.

Just part of the problem, Dad.

Look, if I was living alone instead of in the middle of this flea circus, well,

maybe I'd be doing better.

We do the best we can with what we have.

The best thing that you could do for me right now is to leave me alone.

Please.

Hey, Nicholas, have you seen my New Eagles album?

What you got in the box, Goose?

Oh, Nicholas, are you out of your head? You'll ruin your teeth with all this

gum, like I did.

I don't chew the gum. I flip the cards.

Oh, card flipping, huh? I remember going through that phase.

You did?

Well, I really got it for the gum, but I had all these cards, so I got into

flipping.

You flip cards, but you're a girl.

I know that, Nicholas, but I also happen to be a terrific card flipper.

Really? Can you feed me?

Feed the cake. Here, I'll show you.

Uh, Nicholas, there's nothing here but gum. Where do you keep your cards?

Cleaned out, huh?

Well, let's go check out my desk. I might have an old one or two lying

All right.

Um, you really don't chew that gum?

No. You want some?

No, no, no, no, no.

It's not worth another two years at the dinette.

Okay, now the important thing is, keep your forearm parallel to the ground.

all in the wrist, okay?

The wrist, yeah.

Anybody home?

Hey, where'd you learn to flip like that?

Elizabeth taught me. What do you think?

I think you're in serious trouble.

Well, Elizabeth said it's all in...

Nope, it's all in the forearm. Here, let me show you.

Ugh, it's too soft.

Is this the only card you have? Yeah, but we got a lot of gum.

You can't flip gum.

Hey, come on, Hotshot, I got an idea. Come on.

Now, the tensor veli palatini tendon ends at right angles around

hamulus.

around Hamillis to join the Palatine Apple and Roasters.

There.

Oh, boy, look at all the cars.

Hey, will you tell me what's going on up there, please?

Huh? Oh, hi, Mayor.

Sorry about the noise. It's me and Mighty Mike here. We're looking for

something. Hope we didn't disturb the studying.

Oh, no.

Not a bit. Oh, good. See you later.

Uh -oh.

Uh -oh? Uh -oh, what uh -oh?

What?

Haunted Bradford, if anyone sees me like this, you're going to get it. You're

going to get it.

What's the matter, officer?

Just a routine equipment check.

May I see your operator's license, please?

Oh, sure.

I thought this was a roadblock or something. You're after a bad criminal.

I'm sorry, son. This is only a permit.

You have to have a licensed driver in the car in order to operate a vehicle

this. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's okay. I mean, I do. There is.

There you are. One licensed driver.

First. Never flip with your arm up here.

No control.

You got to keep it down alongside your body like this.

Right.

Hey, there. It's old Mickey Mantle.

Hey, will you look at these cards?

Roger Maris.

Willie Mays. These were the kings.

Hey, who do you have? Nelly Fox.

Nelly. I mean, they let girls play them, too?

No, no. It's short for Nelson.

Great second baseman. White Sox.

Now, keep your hand in the same place for every flip.

Control. Oh.

And lose the first round or two.

On purpose.

Then raise the bet. Work the old con.

Oh, and never go double or nothing.

Sucker bet.

All right. You call it.

Evie!

Hey! I did it! Woo -hoo!

Nice going, hot shot! All right! Hey, all right!

How about knocking off the racket?

Oh, sorry, Mary. We got carried away. Nicholas just flipped. Look, and here I

about to flunk out of school, and you two were playing, uh...

Loud mouth patty cake.

Oh, come on. Straight A Mary about to flunk anything?

Tell us the truth. You got a B plus in something and panicked, right?

That's just perfect, David.

You know something?

You're like everybody else in this house.

You have no idea what I'm going through and you don't even care.

That's reason number 327 why I need to live alone.

my leg, and the cop has to help me out of the car, and all the while, he thinks

we're some kind of weirdos. You are.

Nice going, Tommy. Hey, I couldn't help it if you got a crap in your leg.

This is the second time this week I've been stuck doing dishes. It's not fair.

Come on, we're all chipping in so Mary has time off to study. Yeah, well, how

about giving me time off to study?

Guy, let's keep it down, huh, please?

Oh, yeah, Mary's studying.

No way.

It'd be like trying to study in a schoolyard during recess.

Where are you going?

To the library until it closes.

Then maybe to a nice, busy bus station.

Hey, you want me to drive you? Don't bother.

Look, if I fail anatomy, I have to repeat the whole year.

Not just that one course.

The whole rotten year. Hey, it's no bother. I'll just drop you off and pick

up when it closes. Forget it, Tommy. I just don't have time to waste on your

juvenile games, your hair combing, and your long, slow drives past the hangout.

Why couldn't you have given me to the family next door so I could have been an

only child?

That's enough!

All right, Mary, I'd like a word with you in the other room.

I know that you're upset because I popped up to talk.

Okay. I'm sorry, Dad.

But right now, I happen to have a lot of... Oh, I'm tired of you popping off

all of us. I'm fed up with you yelling and complaining about sexists and bigots

and noise and this awful inconsiderate family.

You want a place of your own?

You've got it.

Here's a check for $200.

Go get a room for yourself someplace and move in. Give us some peace and quiet.

This is the house detective.

Do you have a man in your room?

I don't even have a room in my room. Well,

this is it.

It's not bad, huh?

Well, make yourself comfortable.

Thanks.

Soft.

Very soft.

Yeah.

Well, how's school?

Not bad.

Still holding on to my A in biochem.

Trouble is, I'm spending so much time on anatomy that I booted a snap quiz in

cardiovascular.

You know, it's like a trained dog act.

If you don't keep your eyes on everybody all the time, one of those little

terriers sneaks up behind you and gives you a bite.

Well, um, how's work?

Good, good. Keeping busy.

How's your scar?

My what?

Don't you remember when we were little and you went to visit Auntie V for two

weeks? We met you at the airport and I was so glad to see you, I took you for a

ride on my shoulders.

And then you tripped and you dropped me on my head on the concrete.

I thought I split your head wide open.

For the next month you were always trying to make it up to me.

My big brother.

Mary, anything I can do to make it better now?

Thanks, David.

If I come up with anything, you'll be the first to know.

I'm going to hold you to it.

If I can get up. I'll help you.

David, you forgot to tell me how you like the place.

No, I didn't.

got only one window and the whole place smells like disinfectant give me the

pliers from the looks of it only one of the burners on the hot plate works

and the bathtub leaks noisy leaking

it's like the chinese water torture look david i know what you're trying

to do i'm afraid it won't work mary has a desk a bed and food and a nice quiet

place to study that's all she needs And now it's nice and quiet for us, too.

Ow!

Extremely quiet.

Come in.

Jack, we talked to you. We?

Dad. Stop. I know why you're here and it won't do you any good. At least hear us

out. Okay, but I've already made up my mind. I really believe that giving Mary

place to be alone is the best thing for her and for us. Okay, okay. Now can we

talk about Tommy?

Tommy? You've got to teach him to drive. We resign.

Yeah, I refuse to scrunch down on the car floor anymore.

It's your car and your insurance. The Lipsons alone should be declared

I thought they already were.

Six down and two to go.

You know something, Dad? To tell you the truth, I was really worried about

driving with you at first. You know how parents are and stuff.

But you haven't yelled or criticized me one.

I really appreciate your vote of confidence.

Well,

how about that?

Just like the big time, huh?

Well, how did I do?

He is the worst driver.

He makes a mistake at every stop sign.

He either stops 100 feet short or he goes halfway into the intersection.

On his turns, they have to be seen to be believed.

I guess evidently he's afraid of getting his hair mustered, the wind coming

through the open window. So every time he has to make a turn, he turns his head

slightly to the right and he looks out of the corner of his eye.

What are you doing about it?

Nothing. Tom! Well, come on, you don't want a repeat of the term paper episode,

do you? It might make a worse driver out of him. Well, it doesn't sound possible

from the way you describe it. You know, you're the one that said that parents

shouldn't be tutors.

Well, there's a little more at stake here than failing an English

Yeah, my sanity.

No, actually, I was referring to your life.

You wouldn't.

Not on purpose.

Still going at it, huh, kid? Yeah, I got better. You want to see?

No, not particularly.

You going driving with Dad again?

Yep.

Hi, Nicholas.

Hi.

Oh, boy, if it isn't the Red Baron.

Hey, how's Dad holding up? Dad happens to be holding up just fine, thank you,

and he hasn't had one word of criticism so far.

You're kidding.

No.

You know, he just sits there perfectly relaxed.

Dad relaxed?

Yeah, it's kind of weird. You know, it makes me nervous.

What would you rather him do, flip out?

Well, at least I'd know it was really Dad sitting next to me, not some kind of

robot.

Hey, Nicholas, I thought I told you to use the wrist, not the forearm.

But, David, forget what David said. He's too old to remember now. Let me see you

give us a lift.

All right, if you say so. But you show me first.

Okay.

Lots of risk, okay? Let me see it.

That's right.

See?

Works every time.

How about some bologna? Oh, yeah, sure. Lots of protein. Good.

You know what Mary really needs is a refrigerator.

Yeah, but for that rent, she's lucky she's got a bed and a sink.

How about some grapefruit? Oh, good. Lots of vitamin C. Yeah.

Who would have ever thought we'd be getting up a care package for our big

sister? Yeah.

But remember, we used to do that for David all the time when he wasn't

steady. Yeah.

Ew.

What? Look what I found under the salad kitchen.

That is Daisy's fruitcake from last Christmas.

It's a wrap.

Untouched by human hands. Oh, boy. Anything that goes untouched in this

refrigerator has to be awful.

Should we?

Why not?

Merry Christmas, Mary.

Oh, oh, oh, Mary.

Oh, God!

Hey, lady, want a ride? No lady would get into that heap.

Hi.

You remember Sandy Johnson?

We were resting together and we're sitting in at the Presidio.

Cute. Long blonde hair.

A wacko.

Yeah, that's the one.

I just ran into her and her boyfriend.

Boy, they really have it together.

How so?

Well, he makes these old -fashioned quilts and he does organic gardening.

They live in this converted bus that they drive around to fairs and swap

Last week they were headed up to Big Sur and now they're over in...

Mendocino. Sounds like a simple existence.

For sure.

A lot different from the dog -eat -dog world I live in.

Right? No challenges.

No competition.

Instead of discussing the latest advances in medicine, you can talk about

compost heap.

You know something, David? I should have known.

That running into you at the center of town was just too much of a coincidence.

Hey. Come on, Mary.

I'm on your side.

Oh, here you are.

You and Frankman.

You also think med school is too tough for me?

That maybe I should quit and go into nursing?

Where'd you get the idea that becoming a nurse was so easy?

Oh, well, now I'm not even bright enough to become a nurse.

Mary, hold on.

I think you're bright enough to be anything you want to.

Only right now you're too dumb to see what's getting in your way.

I know what's getting in my way.

Men who refuse to budge.

Haven't you about used that one up?

What do you know about sexism?

I know it exists.

I also know that lack of privacy exists.

I know that everything you've been complaining about exists.

But I don't think there are reasons why you're busting out of medical school. I

think there are excuses.

Excuses?

Anything that keeps on facing what's really messing up your head.

Your image of what marriage is supposed to be.

You can't stand it that you're not still the brightest and best.

Can't stand not being number one.

David!

That's what I call being really dumb.

story dr max period except for two courses i'm barely passing

that's med school that's a joke mary

you don't have to make a's and everything to be a good doctor all you

is apply what you learn you know try that philosophy on air frankman listen

frankman may be the worst misogynist in the entire state but he's scrupulous

when it comes to grades He wouldn't give you a fail unless you're doing failing

work. Just when I think I understand it... Ah, there's your trouble.

Don't try to understand it.

Anatomy is cold, brute memorization.

All you have to do is memorize the entire body.

The entire body. Dr. Max, do you remember how hard it is to memorize that

Yes, yes.

I found the way to get through it was to use the, um...

Word association techniques.

You know, like mnemonics.

Oh, you mean like what Nicholas came up with to help Abby remember all of our

names. Dumb Martian. Just sit nearby eating tender noodles.

David, Mary, Joni, Susan, Nancy, Elizabeth, Tommy, Nicholas.

See? You mean it works.

You can't beat it.

I still remember the phrase that I used.

to memorize the cranial nerves.

What was it? I'll use it.

Well, it was a little graphic.

Oh, come on. I'm almost a doctor myself.

Well, after you are a doctor and practicing for a while, then maybe.

You still on my side?

Always.

Still think I'm bright enough to be anything I want to be?

Well, more or less.

Still want to pay off trying to split my skull?

Do I have any choice?

No.

Money.

My first plan was to toss it in your lap, Dad, because you're the expert with

words. But then I thought, no, why put Dad to all that work?

Why not use the whole family?

Each of us takes a part of the body and drills it into Mary's head. David,

that's a terrific idea.

So if we broke the body down into sections, how many would that be, Mary?

There's six major.

No, wait a minute.

Better make that eight.

Eight, that's good, because we can't use Nicholas, right? We have Dad and Abby,

so we can each have a part.

And what do you think, Tom?

Well, there's certainly some good thinking.

Daddy, I have this friend. His name's Barney.

And he says that the only advantage to living alone is that you never have to

wait for the bathroom.

Okay, look.

I didn't think that this was a very good idea from the very beginning.

But David, he was so persuasive.

Dad,

I need the help.

Mary, you have to understand.

I promise I won't yell.

No, it's not that. I'm not loud anyway.

We'll even let you have the easiest parts.

Like the elbow.

What would a nice guy like me do with a joint like that?

On top, the deltoid.

Broken down in two.

Clavicular, acromial, and scapular.

Is this the deltoid right here?

Uh -huh.

Uh, supraspinata, infraspinata.

I wonder why my left deltoid keeps getting so sore.

Go easy on sticking your arm out the car window on cold nights.

The ligaments of the knee joint.

Always leave oranges at Tony's.

For Carol, a pretty mysterious little troll.

Articular capsule.

Ligamentum patella.

Oblique popliteal. No.

Roger keeps telling me I have nice knees.

What do you think, Mary?

Bader.

Labby.

Superior.

Raises upper lip. Right.

Next.

Zygomaticus minor.

Right.

Zygomaticus made you laughter.

Well, if it isn't thyroid and parathyroid, just in time. Not to

stilo and the lingopharyngeal.

How's it going on your part of the head?

Well, we're having a little trouble with the cerebral peduncles.

No. Well, will we do?

I told her to take the aspirin and call me in the morning.

I still don't understand why I can't ask questions like anybody else. Is it

because I'm too young?

I think it's the words, Nicholas.

You mean I'm too young to hear them? No, you're too young to say them. They're

very, very difficult.

I can too, Sam, and I know most of them already.

This is the elbow, this is the knee, and this is the nose, and this is the

tooth. And I know all the R -rated ones already, but I'm working on the X -rated

ones.

Oh, hello, Barry.

Hi, it's Tom Bradford.

Fine, fine, thank you.

Yes, Barry, I've been thinking about expanding my car insurance

coverage.

That's funny, Barry, you are a real cod.

No, no, no, I'm not interested in the cash value car insurance policy.

I, well, we were thinking of adding an extra driver in the family.

If I can live through it.

No, no, no, no, I didn't say anything.

Yes, I know, that makes eight, but Nicholas still doesn't drive.

Tommy, 16.

It does?

That much?

For one extra driver?

Oh, male, under 25, of course, yes.

Well, we've still got nine years to go, that's all.

Listen, Barry, while we're at it, could I talk to you about my life insurance?

Would you please pass the ketchup as tomato infus?

For your open freedom? No, for his pork of posageacular.

Cutest, Joanie, very cutest.

Anybody for lactose -boiled vinegar?

Am I allowed to hear this stuff or not?

Oh, good morning.

Tommy, what time do you get out of school today?

3 .30.

I'll pick you up at 3 .30 sharp.

Okay. Hey, Tommy, how's Dad or the driving teacher?

Well, I'm not really sure where he is. It's like learning from a statue.

Boy, we're driving.

Enough!

From now on, you keep looking in the direction that you're turning. Do you

understand? You keep both hands on the steering wheel in the proper position.

You see that pedal down there? That's known as an accelerator.

You understand?

You're supposed to handle it with care and finesse. You don't just stop on it.

On yellow lights, you don't run yellow lights. Do you understand?

Are you smiling at me?

Oh, no, Dad, I'm not smiling.

Just proceed with caution.

And keep the automobile under proper control.

You sure you're not smiling at me?

I can't help it, Dad. It's just good to have you back.

Just watch the road.

Anything you say, Dad.

You really do care, don't you?

Hey,

hey! Abby, you said what Mary just said.

What? Oh, hi, Dad.

Elizabeth, will you get back here? We haven't finished.

A very determined young woman.

Wow, I thought I heard somebody down here.

I couldn't sleep, and I've reached the saturation point with cramming.

Tomorrow's the day.

Yeah. One way or the other.

How do you think you'll do?

I'm going to knock that exam so hard.

A high B, I hope.

Will that be enough?

To pass the course?

Yep. Now, I was wondering if a high B would be enough for you.

No.

It'll never be enough.

But I'll live with it.

Dad, I've stopped worrying about not being the brightest kid on the block.

Right now, the only thing I want to be best at is me.

And I'm going to be the best Mary Bradford you ever saw.

You are the best Mary Bradford I ever saw.

Thank you, Danny.

But the way I've been acting lately, jumping on everybody, yelling,

blaming them for my problems, I don't deserve the compliment.

It wasn't a compliment.

Oh.

It was a statement of fact.

Mary, you've always been an independent, strong -minded, argumentative person.

You're one tough cookie.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

You wouldn't?

Because that's the Mary Bradford that I know and love.

Miss Bradford, there are still 12 minutes remaining in the time allotted

examination. Perhaps you could use the time to your advantage by going back

some of the things you may have missed.

Thank you, Dr. Frankman, but I've answered all the questions.

I don't see why I'd want to change anything.

David taught it to me. And you went for it. You want to flip?

If you want to get beat.

I

beat.

Impossible. Want to try again?

No, thanks. If you can win with a dumb throw like that, then you're just too

lucky. Who said it's a dumb throw? Anyone who knows anything.

Sore loser.

You want to flip a few?

You think I should now that you know my secret?

Come on, you go first.

You lose.

Want to go down with nothing?

Yeah.