Original subtitles

Yes, Nicholas?

How long did you know Dad before you kissed him?

Um, well, I'll have to think about that one. Why?

Well, I heard Elizabeth talk about it on the phone.

Elizabeth was talking about when I first kissed your father?

No, she was talking about when she first kissed his boy.

Oh, oh, oh, well, I would imagine that hers and my rules aren't too far apart.

I hope.

So what did Elizabeth say?

Did you learn anything educational?

I learned two things.

What was the first one?

Don't get caught listening to Elizabeth talk on the phone.

Second? She hits it a lot harder than Tommy.

is boiling over. Oh, no. So is Dad. What kind of a car is this?

Don't ask me. I know about old cars.

Prehistoric is not my category.

This must be the car that inspired Edsel. And tow trucks.

Oh, come on, Dad. You gotta realize that we're gonna fix it up.

Oh, really? You're gonna pour good money after bad?

Oh, no, Dad. You don't understand. See, with a car this age, you don't have to

worry about depreciation. That's true. I mean, how can 2 ,000 pounds of rust go

down in value?

Look at it this way, Dad. We're benefiting the whole family.

Yeah, now that the four of us have this, we won't keep hassling you about using

the station wagon or the sedan.

Oh, you mean that my car is actually going to be my car?

Absolutely. We're all going to have our own transportation.

Well, I think it's great.

Oh, come on. You don't think that the four of you can share something like

without fighting, do you? That's just the point, Dad.

It's very simple. We each put 25 % of our money into this car, and that means

we'll get 25 % equal use. That's right.

Yeah, Dad, it's not like we're fighting over seniority. We bought this car

equally, so we are going to share this car equally. Oh, yeah, and if anybody

wants to rent the car, we just rent it to them for a reasonable price with a

reasonable built -in profit.

Well, at least that takes care of one of my worries, that socialism is creeping

into this family.

Well, then it's okay, Dad. We can keep the car?

Yes, it's okay, on one condition.

You get a bumper sticker put on the back here that says, Our father does not

approve of this.

Let's cheer for dad!

Are you sure this is the right way to do it? Hey, you want to get the car

running, don't you?

Sure. All right.

You want to go inside with me? I'll buy you some coffee.

No, a girl can lose her reputation just by walking past this place too slow.

All right, I'll meet you at Nutrition and let you know how things went.

Okay, Tommy, but don't hang around there too long. This is the day it usually

gets raided.

Hi, Webb.

Hey, Brad.

Aren't you a little off your turn?

I'm trying to locate something.

You name it, we got it.

Hall pass.

Tardy slip.

I'm looking for a radiator for a 55 Buick Roadmaster.

55?

Don't make jokes.

Hey, this is no joke. They tell me you've got guys in here that can get any

part ever made.

Within reason. And reason ends with a 58 Chevy.

Okay, well, if you come across one, let me know. I'll see you around. Yeah, I'll

see you.

Hold up, Bradford.

Here's a couple blank report cards.

Ask ten bucks.

Take five.

Hey, come on over here.

Something wrong? Yeah, old buddy.

Can't help but notice the trouble you've been having in English comp.

It's all past.

Come on, Bradford. I can read the writing on the wall.

And from across the aisle, I can read the grades in your papers. You got three

Fs in a row.

Yeah, well, so what? That's my problem.

Omega, it doesn't have to be your problem. I can get your next theme

you and guarantee an A.

I've got a feeling there's a little more involved than just friendship.

Well, of course, but considering that your whole future's at stake, my fee is

very reasonable.

How reasonable?

50 bucks for an A, 35 for a B. That's reasonable?

It'd cost you and your parents a lot more in time and embarrassment if you

to take the course over.

You know, even with three Fs, I've still got a D average. I'll make it, no

sweat. This is high school, Bradford. Teachers are getting tougher.

College is getting harder to get into.

The best 50 bucks you'll ever invest.

Ask any of my customers.

I'd give you a reference, but my clients like to remain anonymous.

Yeah, I'm sure they do.

Thanks, Webb, but I'm hanging on to my cash for a radiator.

Okay, it's your neck. Just remember, I'll be here when you need me.

Tommy, why didn't you tell me that you failed English comp?

I'm not failing. It's just I've got a D average. Oh, come on now. In this house,

a D average is definitely flunking her.

Apparently, your teacher feels the same way. Otherwise, why would she have

called me?

No, she didn't have to do that.

Well, how would I have found out if she didn't?

Tommy, you're doing F work, excuse me, D work in English, and you're doing A

work and not mentioning it.

I just figured I'd bring my average up. How can you? There's no time, according

to Miss Denby.

You have one more chance. If you fail your next composition, that's it. You

have blown your entire grade point average.

Dad, I know all of that. Just don't get so bent.

Oh, come on. I'm bent.

Look, writing is my profession.

Ever since David was born, I've insisted that you kids use the English language

with respect and correctly.

And so far, you have.

I mean, months have gone by in this house without a single participle being

dangled. You speak correctly and vividly.

And it's very nice. But obviously, if you can talk that way, well, then you

write that way. If you'd only try.

Dad, I do try.

No, no. Not hard enough.

Dad, I work my brains out over this. I'm just no good at writing, that's all.

I can't accept that.

Well, accept it or not, it's the truth.

You guys expect me to be some kind of a genius like David or Mary. Well, I'm

not, and I never will be.

Wrong. I don't expect you to be like David or Mary. But I do expect you to

wasting time with that scrap heap that you bought out there.

settle down and write a paper that will keep you from failing.

Now, I expect at least a C average, son.

Or else?

Let's not talk about the or else. Otherwise, you're going to wind up as

I am.

Okay, Tommy, get to work.

Immediately.

Yes, sir.

You promised not to come down too heavy on him. Oh, come on. After 23 years of

doing this, I think I know the difference between heavy and firm.

Oh, really?

I've seen happier faces than Tommy's come out of the principal's office after

being expelled.

Did you let him stay in the family?

No, I just told him the truth, Abby. Look, Tommy happens to have an

background in the subject of English composition.

I mean, it's obvious he's capable of doing much better work.

And what if he isn't?

Well, then I don't know my son very well.

Or at least not well enough.

Nicholas, can't you stay out? Can't you see I'm trying to work?

How can I see you trying to work if I stay out?

I can't do this. It's impossible.

Yeah, well, neither can I, so you can just take over the whole dumb room.

I didn't want the room. I just wanted my skateboard.

I've got a great idea.

Why don't we divide the day into four equal parts?

That way we can each have the car once each day. Oh, Nancy, that'll never work.

That's much too confining.

I vote.

for each one of us getting in the car for a full day every fourth day.

We can't, because that will leave two people without the car each weekend, and

that's when transportation is crude.

Hmm.

Well, why don't we do it my way the first part of the week, and we can do it

Susan's way the second part, and Elizabeth's way on Saturday and Sunday.

That's a brilliant idea.

Thank you.

I think.

Stay right here, I'll just make sure.

Ta -da -da -da -da -da!

Charge!

Hi, Joan.

You guys will positively not believe what has just happened to me.

My first play.

What's so great about that? You've been in dozens of plays.

But, she said, with charming modesty, it's the first one I'm

directing. She directed it.

Yeah!

Yeah! That's perfect, Joanie. I know. You've always liked to tell people what

do. No, thanks.

That's no way to put it.

It's just a great honor for Joanie.

Women? Right.

I mean, there aren't very many women directors, right? Right. I'm sure there

dozens of male students who would just die to direct this college play.

Oh, actually, Susan, it's not the college play that I'm directing.

it's an off -campus production.

Well, actually, it's an off -off -campus production.

Well, actually, it's the Goodwin J. Knight Elementary School production of

White.

Yeah. You just sat with him back about 50 years.

Snow White. Snow White.

Let's get back to this, you guys. Okay, Monday, I get the car because... Okay,

you know, I got my license.

Hey!

Watch what you're doing.

Oh, I'm sorry, David.

I didn't know you were under there. I should have been under here before you

bought this monster. I would have told you to forget it. Why? What's wrong with

it besides the radiator?

So far, everything I've looked at.

Where did you find so much bad news under what I'm sure is a leaky roof?

Lou Lenchner's top value transportation cards.

That's two mistakes right there.

Mr. Lenchner is affectionately known as Lemon Lou.

And transportation cards never provide transportation.

Well, he guaranteed all it needed was a simple tuna.

Yeah, what it needs is a simple junkie.

David, you've got a way with cars. You can fix it.

I can't even start it. Why not?

I don't know.

I think there could be a hundred reasons.

Yeah, I want to get it out of the line of traffic. Will you help me push? Sure.

I could also use some help tearing the thing down.

I'm sorry, David, I can't. Dad's putting the pressure on me to raise my grade in

English comp.

What, from B to an A? No, from a D to a C, only to Dad it's the difference

between failing and succeeding.

Yeah, that must be rough.

I always got the impression that he thought that high grades on English

were automatically included in the Bradford family genes.

Yeah, well, maybe I'm adopted. I don't even know where to start.

Hey, why don't you talk to Mary?

What good would that do?

Well, she could tell you what to look for and tell you how she gets her ideas.

You know, she helped me a lot once just by suggesting a topic.

Well, I hate to bother her. Who's bothering?

The best thing you can do to compliment someone is to ask them advice.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Thanks a lot, dear.

Hey, the second biggest is to help someone push cars.

Let's see.

Junior English.

Second semester.

No problem, Tommy.

I would be glad to help you.

All right. Let's attend his class. Second period.

Oh. Well, she's a little since my time, but I think that if I refresh my memory

on what I used to write about, maybe we'll come up with something, huh?

Amidst all of this stuff, I promise you we will find something.

How disgusting. How can you stand to sleep in the same room as your old home

one? It's basic and retentive.

Although I prefer to call it organized.

Tommy, what are you interested in these days?

Not writing theme papers and getting Dad off my back.

Okay, but besides that?

Having a car.

Well, now, see, there's a possible theme.

But probably half the class is going to be writing about something like that. I

think it pays to come up with something original.

Mary. Oh, Mary. I'm sorry to bother you, but I need your help with the oven

timer again.

Sure. Tommy, why don't you look over these titles and see if anything strikes

you, okay?

Hey, Tommy, did you find a topic you liked?

Oh, yeah. Thanks, Mary. You saved my life.

I've been looking all over for you.

What you doing?

Oh, the fresh air.

Hmm.

Yeah.

It's nice.

Hey, Nicholas, um, I kind of have something important to ask. Me too. How

you never find out you should cut your orange with a knife until it's too late?

Oh, here, let me help you with that. Hey, one thing about our family, we

help each other, right?

Maybe. I'd be able to peel that myself. Oh, uh, frankly, Nicholas, I'm kind of

in a jam, you know?

Here I come.

No, no, I'm coming. You don't have to be that way about it. I mean, you know,

actually, the whole reason that I'm here is that my big problem could be your

greatest opportunity.

Maybe I'd better take my orange and run.

Oh, Nicholas, come on.

Nicholas.

Nicholas, look.

Listen.

Have you ever dreamed about being famous?

Nah. Mostly I just dreamed about animals and spelling tests.

Nicola, listen to me.

I could make you the most talked -about boy in Goodwin J. Knight Elementary

School. I could bring you endless adulation and applause.

I don't even think I'd like that, even if I know what it means.

Okay, if you won't do it for yourself, would you at least do it for me, huh?

Do what?

Take the part of Prince Charming in the play I'm directing.

Prince Charming?

No way.

Oh, Nicholas.

Nicholas, please. I'm desperate.

Huh? I mean, only two boys even try it out, you know? And one of them lifts and

the other one just stands there and scratches.

Oh, yeah, I bet that's Richie Turtle. He's the best teacher in the whole third

grade. Oh, Nicholas, help me, please.

I can't do justice to this play without a decent Prince Charming.

And if it flops, I'll never get a chance to direct again.

You've got to do it for me.

Oh, yeah? Then what are you going to do for me?

Anything. How about table clearing?

For a month, guaranteed.

Shake on it. Shake on it, all right.

Ew!

Take a look. We've solved everything.

What now?

We have the point system.

Now, each partner starts off the week with 1 ,000 points. The one who bids the

most points for any given time period gets the car. Simple. Yeah. What do you

think? Well, even if I understood what you're talking about, which I don't, I'd

say you have the points before the ignition.

You're dividing a cake that isn't even baked yet.

Oh, don't be modest, David. We know you have a way with cars.

Yeah? So, buy a car and I'll fix it.

To fix this bomb, I'd have to be a demolitions expert.

That bad?

Nicholas, you can't switch. Oh, yes, I can.

Oh, come on. Nicholas, you made an agreement, remember?

Oh, yeah? Well, it doesn't count because you tricked me. I did not.

Oh, yeah? No wonder only two guys tried out for it. You know why? Because what

you want is disgusting.

What's disgusting?

Ask her. I don't even want to talk about it.

Now, Joanie, what is the problem?

Nicholas promised that he was going to do Prince Charming in my play, you know?

And then he backs out on his promise just because he doesn't like one little

piece of stage direction. You call that little?

Well, now, just exactly what are we talking about here?

She wants me to kiss a girl.

Oh, Nikki,

Nikki, Prince Charming has to kiss no wife. I mean, the play doesn't resolve

without it.

What have you got against girls, huh?

I mean, uh, I'm a girl.

That's why I never kiss you.

But girls are fun to kiss.

Well, they're soft and they smell good, and you might even like it.

Never.

Now, Nicholas, there's something you should know about onstage kisses.

not the same as real -life kisses, because it's not really you kissing the

per se. It's Prince Charming. Right, right. I mean, listen to Abby, Nicholas.

You see, it doesn't involve you personally. No.

Good, then I won't have anything to do with it.

Nicholas, I think you're putting Joanie in an awkward position.

I mean, let's suppose that you ask her to pitch for your baseball team, okay?

And on the day of the game, she refuses to do it. And you lose the game.

How do you feel?

Come on, Nicholas. We know how hard this is going to be for you. But think about

poor Joanie. I mean, think how hard it's going to be on her if you don't do it.

Come on, champ.

Please,

Nicholas, please.

I'll be eternally grateful to you.

Grateful enough to make my bed for a whole month.

Jeez.

Okay, if I have to. And take out the garbage when it's my turn.

All right.

Okay, then I'll do it.

You're a true romantic, Nicholas.

Okay, look at me.

I'll tell you exactly how I want that kiss performed tomorrow afternoon in

rehearsal, okay?

Oh, no way. I'm not practicing kissing.

What? I'm only training for one kiss.

Nicholas! Nicholas, wait, come on, come on! We have to talk this out!

Mickey? Nicholas!

Does anybody know if David's made any progress with the car yet?

Haven't you seen it? No.

Lucky, lucky you.

It's enough to make you want to reinvent the horse.

Well, I guess today's not the day to start your schedule. Good thinking, man.

Well, partners, looks like it's back to equal sharing of the sidewalk.

Oh, Tommy, could I see you for a moment?

Yeah, sure.

Have a nice day, girls. I'll see you tonight.

Oh, good. See you, Dad. Bye. Bye, Tommy.

Tommy, you seem kind of moody. Are you worried about the beam?

No. How's it coming?

I'm all done. Oh, good. See, I told you you could do it.

Yeah.

I'd like to see it.

Sure, why not?

This is very, very good, Tommy.

You really think so?

Oh, yeah.

It's crisp, it's vivid, and it has some very interesting ironies.

Yeah, you know me, I was always kind of big on ironies.

You think it'll get an A?

Oh, yes, positive.

I thought so the first time I read it.

What? I mean, if you're going to recopy Mary's old papers, you could at least

have the decency to correct her spelling errors.

You see, Mary never did learn that ridiculous doesn't have an E.

And ridiculous is the key word in this whole situation.

Back to square one. Let's do it again properly this time

What

was it Tommy, laziness or just

stupidity? I don't know.

Well, you better figure it out because that's stealing and that's wrong and

means trouble and you know that.

Yes. Well, then why in heaven's name did you do it? Because you want that kind

of a paper and I can't write it. Oh, really? Well, you're going to write one,

all right. I'll see to it that you write one. Now, what time do you get home

from school today?

4 .30. I'll be here waiting for you. Your first lesson is going to be that

writing takes hard work. I know it's hard. What I want to know is how to do

Oh, you won't have that excuse anymore.

Your tutor will see to that. My tutor? You mean Abby?

No, I mean me.

But, Dad, you... 4 .30 sharp.

Right.

Tom, you can't mean that.

You can't tutor Tommy.

I know I am very busy, but I'll have to cancel something. Tommy needs me.

Not as a tutor.

Tom, that's my profession, and I would never tutor a member of my own family.

just doesn't work.

I mean, you never find doctors and lawyers working with their own children,

right? So please, let me just find a professional English tutor that can

be objective with Tommy, please.

As a newspaper man, I think I know a little about objectivity.

Not when it comes to Tommy. You'll just be putting more pressure on him. The

toughest editor I ever had taught me the most.

Yes, but he wasn't your own father.

Now, listen, Elizabeth, do you know your part?

Yes, I know my part. I can do it with my eyes closed. In fact, I do. I'm Snow

White. I lie on the sofa. I lean the coffin.

And I wait for Prince Charming to get me.

Good, good.

Okay, listen, Elizabeth, I really appreciate this, really. Because, you

Nicholas won't rehearse at school. And if he won't rehearse there, I have got

make him practice somewhere.

Hey, no problem. If Nicholas kisses me, it'll be a family first. I'll make

Bradford history.

Okay, good. Excuse me.

Don't worry, Elizabeth.

I'll make him. How?

Oh, I'll do what every good director does when he sees the show dying.

What's that?

Resort to violence.

My favorite

summer vacation happened when I was 12 years old in Oregon.

What's wrong?

Well, syntax. Think about it. I mean, did your vacation happen in Oregon, or

were you 12 years old in Oregon?

Both. Well, then say it just that way, with the proper preposition and the

proper sequence.

I was 12 years old when I took my favorite vacation to Oregon.

Wait a minute.

Was that the time that Elizabeth got the measles?

Yeah. Oh, gosh. I hated that vacation.

Yeah, me too.

You?

You hated it? Well, then what did you write that it was your favorite vacation

for? Because you'd jump all over me if I didn't write something. I don't know

what else to write about.

Oh, come on, Tommy. There's a whole universe out there to write about.

Well, that makes it harder.

Well, you've got to just try.

You've got to write something. Otherwise, I have nothing to criticize.

Well, how can I write if you're going to criticize?

I'm trying to help you, remember?

Help me do what?

Prove to the whole universe that Tom Bradford has smart kids?

Here, read my paper again. He doesn't.

Nicholas, it's just to practice your stage moves. You don't have to kiss

Elizabeth on the lips, just on the forehead.

How about if I come that close?

If you kiss her once on the forehead, you can come that close to her lips when

we rehearse again.

Yuck. Come on, Nicholas.

You used to kiss me all the time when you were a baby. Don't you remember?

You're just trying to make that up so I feel worse.

Okay, come on, everybody. Come on, we're wasting time. I want Snow White in her

coffin and Prince Charming out in the wings.

Wings? Won't we?

Offstage, Nicholas.

Shh. All right, come on, over here.

Okay, ready in the coffin.

Okay, good. Now, this is where you enter from, all right? Now, remember, you

walk slowly into the forest glade. Hey, hey, listen.

You walk slowly in and stop when you see the life with no white. You wipe away

your tears, and then you walk slowly through the circle of the sobbing dwarf,

and you go up to her, and you, full of emotion, bend over.

and bestow your loving kiss.

Okay? Got it? Ready?

Nope, but we might as well get it over with. All right, here's your cue. The

last dwarf said, that's the chair up there, he said, that wicked witch, she

taken Snow White away from us forever.

I mean, you go to school to actually learn that joke?

Oh.

I really hate to tell you this, Nicholas, but you did it all wrong.

What do you mean? I did exactly what you said.

The what? Maybe. Yeah, but not the how, you know?

Oh, all right. All right, I'm sorry.

It's not your fault.

It's my fault.

It's my fault. I didn't explain the scene properly. I thought you explained

quite well, Johnny. Oh, yeah, yeah, the action maybe, but not the motivation.

See, Nicholas, you have to understand.

That there's deep human emotions that underlie this last climactic moment.

You think that Snow White is dead.

And you're overwhelmed with grief.

And then, under the burden of this total sadness, you come into the glade.

And you move slowly through the circle of her friends that are crying.

And you move up to her to say your last goodbye.

Missy, you have no idea that Snow White is ever going to come alive again.

You think that your love for her has reached its tragic end.

Now put yourself into that.

How do you feel?

Great. If my love was ended, I wouldn't have to do any more kissing.

A little hard to reach the typewriter from there, isn't it? I was trying to

think of a word.

Oh, really?

Well, I'll tell you something. I've discovered that there's only two ways to

that efficiently.

One is with a thesaurus, and the other is in an upright position.

Now, here's a draft of your first page. And here's my corrected version.

Is that the second page in the typewriter?

Yeah.

Tommy, you're still making the same mistake over again.

I wish you'd look a little closer at what I did to the first page.

Oh, I see what you did. You took your ideas and put it into your words.

Now, I'm sorry, Dad, I don't understand. Why is it wrong for me to turn in

Mary's work and okay to turn in yours?

Tommy, the first page is just an example of how you should write that material.

Well, if I could learn to write by reading, all these years of studying

column should have turned me into Ernest Hemingway. If you'd just let me show

you how to do it.

Dad showing isn't teaching. All it proves is that you can write and that I

can't. It doesn't change a thing.

Because you don't want to change.

How can I change? No one teaches me. I'm teaching you. Dad, you're doing it.

Somehow I'm supposed to come up with the exact same thing.

I wasn't aware that you were such an expert on the process of education.

Yeah, well, all I know is we're both wasting a lot of time.

Really? Is that the way you feel?

All right, then. I resign as your tutor.

Well, that's fine with me.

But on one condition.

What? As long as you're such an expert on how people learn things, go ahead and

prove it. Write the theme all by yourself.

But be sure of one thing. Be sure you pass.

Otherwise, you're in big trouble.

Say that again, David. The car has a cracked what?

Block. It has a cracked block.

What does that mean?

Well, it means that if the rest of the car were worth saving, which it isn't,

you'd need a new engine.

Oh, how much is that going to cost?

About six times the amount you've already wasted.

What? I think we need some new investors.

Don't look at me.

Oh, good. I'm glad I got all of my partners in one place. I want to have a

of trustees meeting.

Yeah, I think you're all better.

I've got a great proposition for you.

Due to an unexpected cash flow problem, I could be persuaded to sell my one

-fourth part of the beautiful Buick for, say, a 10 % discount.

No way, Tommy Bradford.

No way.

What do you think we are?

Yeah, this is Elizabeth, Nancy, and Susan, not Patsy, Patsy, and Patsy.

Hey, look, what did I say?

I think you and the Buick have the same problem. You could use a new timing

gear. Hey, David, this is nothing to fool around about. I asked for my money

back, okay? You guys didn't want to give it back. That's okay, too. I don't need

this family's help.

His problem.

Beats me.

Hey, Bradford.

Been expecting you.

I'll go for the A.

Cash check.

Money order.

How about 35 down now, 15 to follow.

Make it 20 to follow.

All right, but your guarantee better be perfect.

Money in the bank, Bradford. Money in the bank.

Uh -huh.

Yes.

That's right, Mr.

Lentner. That's the car.

Yes, and we want to exchange it for any other car on your lot.

Like you promised.

We'll even put it back together.

Won't we, Susan?

Uh, let's not mention that.

But that's not fair.

How could we return the car within the 24 -hour guarantee period?

It took us twice that long to realize it had a cracked lock.

Let's not mention that either.

Oh, yeah.

Well, you're a fine one to talk about dicking people, Mr.

Lemon Louie.

Now what are we going to do?

Punt.

You know, I suppose we could shine it up a bit. Put an ad in the paper, huh?

Nancy. I suppose not.

Okay, well, before we get Dad all upset with the news, give me a chance to ask

him one little question. What's that?

If I can use the station wagon tonight.

Ah, that's what I was going to ask. Uh -oh, I had dibs.

Tommy!

Yes, sir?

Shouldn't you be doing your composition?

It's due tomorrow.

Well, no, sir, I finished it. I just finished typing.

Really? Yes, sir.

Oh. Well, that's great.

I'd like to see it, though, all right?

Sure, why not?

You know, I always find that you never really get into the role till you get

into your costume.

How do you like it, Nicholas?

I thought only Indians wore feathers. Oh, no, no, no. In those days, Nicholas

Prince has wore feathers, too, but don't let it bother you, okay?

Don't worry, it doesn't. So far since this prince business, the only thing I

like the best is the feather.

Hey, hey, look at this, Nicky, huh?

How do you like that?

I gotta wear pantyhose?

Oh, these are tights. Renaissance tights. Magic.

First, I gotta kiss a girl. Next, I gotta wear pantyhose. Boy, I'll never be

able to face my friends.

Oh, wait a second, Nicholas. Before you go quitting on us again, you know, I

want to show you the best part of this whole thing, okay? You ready?

Prince Charming, where's the sword?

Hey, all right.

I'm gone.

Hey, thanks for the sword, Mary. It was a real inspiration.

Sure. Uh, Nicholas, would you be careful, okay? It's only made of

don't go stabbing anybody.

Not even the witch?

Not even the witch.

Man, it sure would be a lot more action if I just walked up and stabbed her

instead of a dumb old kid.

Congratulations,

Tommy. You did exactly what I hoped you would do.

You mean you like it? Yes.

You finally stopped hiding your talent underneath a bushel of defensiveness.

produced something that we can both be proud of.

Then it's what you wanted.

It's exactly what I wanted. It's clear, it's vivid, it's clever. It reads just

the way you talk.

Thanks. You know, I never had any doubt that you would come through.

I knew that all you had to do was to apply yourself.

You see, Tommy, look, you're bright, imaginative, sensitive.

You have every quality of a good writer.

Only you have something even more. You have character.

I mean, you pulled yourself out of a tight mess, and you got the work

and I'm proud of you.

I know we've been through a lot together over this paper, but it's all behind

us, so let's just forget it, okay?

Yeah, okay.

I got a great idea.

This weekend, why don't we celebrate, just the two of us? I'll get tickets for

the Warrior game, okay?

Yeah, sure.

I need turkeys think you have problems.

Tommy, Tommy, I just heard the good news.

Oh, yeah? Yeah, your father's very happy with your composition.

Yeah, well, some people get excited over the weirdest things.

I know what you've been going through.

You do?

I think so.

Fathers and sons always seem to have a difficult time with expectations.

Yeah, well, Dad expects too much.

I agree.

You do?

Yeah, but he wouldn't be your father if he didn't.

See, I don't know if it's Beck's too much or if it's that down deep he really

wants too much.

I think he just wants the very best for the people he loves the most.

The best grades and the best jobs.

The best life.

Then why does he make it so difficult?

Sometimes, sometimes we think that we just have one way of making other people

happy.

And we don't realize that our way doesn't necessarily help them at all.

Oh, Tommy, I wish you could just realize one thing.

Whatever your father's done, he's done because he loves you very, very much.

Love just sometimes has a funny way of showing itself.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

What are you doing up so early?

I wanted to see the sunrise.

Oh, excuse me.

I know, but that's a terrible part of it. No, why? Snow White is not supposed

be a suspenseful play.

Will Nicholas kiss her?

Won't Nicholas kiss her? I mean, I must be directing a Hitchcock movie. No, I

don't follow you. Didn't Nicholas have to kiss Snow White during the

Are you kidding?

Well, he did kiss my left temple once, but that was my birthday.

Joanie, I just wish that you'd stop worrying about it. I mean, the play will

fine. Nicholas is a man of his word.

Oh, he better be. My whole advanced drama class is going to be there for

night.

I mean, if Nicholas doesn't come through for me, I'm gonna be a laughingstock.

All this over one kiss?

Yeah.

You know, you'd think I'd ask him to do a nude scene.

Good morning, Tommy.

Hey, are you all right? You look kind of pale.

Yeah, I'm fine.

Tommy, I hope you're not worried about that theme you wrote. It's very good.

It's a winner, Tommy, a real winner.

You're right.

Oh, I really don't think so, Mrs. Boxer. None of the other dwarfs are wearing

sequins.

Well, yes, I know that you want Frederick to stand out, but I just would

prefer it if you'd wear the costume we assigned, okay?

Yes, thank you, Mrs. Boxer. Oh, and Mrs. Boxer, please, have Frederick there at

least an hour before the curtain.

For sure.

Yes, thank you, Mrs. Boxer.

The director's getting stage fright.

Make the witch's warts.

Hi.

Hi, Tom.

It's a long day.

Yeah, a long day.

How'd it go?

Well, I waited after school for Mrs. Denevy to grab my theme paper.

And?

She said she liked what it said, but she didn't like the way I said it.

What'd you say?

Why don't you read it?

I saw enough of the dumb thing staying up all night writing it.

For all intensive purposes.

Intensive purposes?

Intensive purposes.

Miss Denby didn't like it either. She has it circled in red and she took off

three points.

I don't understand. I mean, that wasn't in the theme that I read yesterday.

Well, just listen and I think you'll understand.

For all intensive purposes.

A person can be what others think he should be, or he can be what he really

If people expect too much from a person, that person may twist himself all up

trying to pretend he is what he really isn't.

All he can think about is pleasing the other person.

We would not want the other person to become unhappy because he is not what we

expect he should be.

By the same token... Same?

token?

By the same token.

We should not expect ourselves to become unhappy by being what we can't.

This is true of lots of people, including fathers.

Despite of this, I'm proud of mine because even when he is not what I

does not try to be what he isn't.

I see.

And from now on,

I will, too.

What was the final mark?

It was a B in content, a D in grammar for a C average.

C average, huh?

Don't look so gloomy. At least he passed the course.

Tom, you're not going to.

I most certainly am.

Tommy?

Tommy?

Yes, sir.

Would you come down here, please?

Tommy.

Look at me.

I read your composition.

Wasn't very good, was it?

Well, maybe you won't get a Pulitzer Prize.

But you managed to communicate something to somebody who needed it.

Me.

You?

Yeah.

And since communication is the...

The ultimate purpose of good writing.

The composition was a success.

Really?

By the same token, don't let it go to your head now.

Yeah, don't worry, I won't.

If your calendar's free on Saturday night, I got tickets to that Warrior

Sure. Just you and me?

Just you and I.

As white as the snow and pale as the moon. What shall we do without her? What

shall we do?

Poor sweet princess.

Gone forever.

Come back, sweet princess.

Rise and shed sunshine on our lives again.

That terrible witch, she has... She has...

Taken... Taken Snow White away from us forever.

Oh, yeah, that's... Deep is still wide away from us.

Forever.

Forever.

It's now.

You can do it.

Please, Nicholas.

Excuse me, you're interrupting the funeral.

Oh.

Well, rest in peace.

Oh, cheer up, Dad. We got it all together.

Oh, really? Yeah, David's a real genius.

He can actually fix that?

No, but we found out from the wrecking company we can get $20 if we tow it with

the van, which is better than us paying them $20 to haul it away.

I would say so.

Actually, we think it's a major breakthrough. And if you wait one

show you what I mean.

See, Dad, if you apply this chart to the station wagon, you will see that we

have equal rights for transportation.

The station wagon?

Come on, Arby.

Come on, Dad, take a look at it. Just take a look at the chart.